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Speaker 1: Coming up on you need therapy.

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Speaker 2: I was working through like you know, people pleasing, and

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Speaker 2: she said, Okay, before this session ends, I want you

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Speaker 2: to tell me one thing you don't like about me.

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Speaker 2: And that was like horrendous for me. So I sat

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Speaker 2: there for several minutes in silence, trying to think of something,

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Speaker 2: and then finally I said, I don't like that you

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Speaker 2: cussing sessions time.

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Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't

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Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift.

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Speaker 2: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point

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Speaker 2: in our life.

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Speaker 3: It's probably because it's uncomfortable to know.

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Speaker 4: If you can die before you die, then you can

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Speaker 4: really live. There's a wisdom at death's door.

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Speaker 3: I thought I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know

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Speaker 3: what to do because there was no internet. I don't know, man,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I feel like everything is hard.

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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat human first and a

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Speaker 1: licensed therapist second, and right now I'm inviting you into

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Speaker 1: conversations that I hope encourage you to become more curious

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Speaker 1: and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the world around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to you need therapy. Hi, guys, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: a new episode of You Need Therapy Podcast. My name

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Speaker 1: is kat I am the host. And quick reminder up

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Speaker 1: top that although this podcast is hosted by a therapists

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Speaker 1: and you're actually going to be hearing from three therapists today,

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Speaker 1: this does not serve as a replacement or a substitute

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Speaker 1: for any actual mental health services. However, we always hope

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Speaker 1: that whatever you hear can help you in some way.

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Speaker 1: Today I have two of three courts therapies therapists here

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Speaker 1: to help talk about what it's like to start the

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Speaker 1: therapeutic process, what it's like to go to your first

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Speaker 1: therapy session, what to expect, what feelings might come up,

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Speaker 1: and all that really great anxiety provoking stuff. So I

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Speaker 1: have Josie here Hi, who has been on recently yes

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Speaker 1: to talk about I said welcome, and so instead up Hi,

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Speaker 1: he said welcome, thank you. Okay, well welcome and that's

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Speaker 1: the show. Yeah. And then we have Julia who was

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Speaker 1: actually here on last Wednesday.

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Speaker 3: Hello, welcome, Yes.

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Speaker 1: And I brought them on because what we're talking about

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Speaker 1: is not a one size fits all kind of situation.

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Speaker 1: Not every single therapist is going to do things the

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Speaker 1: same and not everybody's going to have the same experience,

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Speaker 1: even if you're going to see the same therapist. So

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Speaker 1: I thought it would be a great idea to hear

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Speaker 1: a couple different perspectives. And one thing I know personally

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Speaker 1: and hear a lot is how difficult it is to

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Speaker 1: take the step to actually go to therapy for the

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Speaker 1: first time. Once you get in the door and once

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Speaker 1: you actually see what is going on, usually that anxiety

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Speaker 1: can ease, but the unknown is really, really, really hard

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Speaker 1: for people to push through. So we're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about what the unknown might include. So I have some

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Speaker 1: questions that you guys, actually listeners have sent in that

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Speaker 1: they are curious about with first sessions and starting therapy.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to start by me, Josie and Julia

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Speaker 1: or is it Josie, Julia and I? Which way is correct? I, Josie,

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Speaker 1: Julian and I. Well, I'm saying it both ways, and

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Speaker 1: you guys can receive whichever one is correct. But we're

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Speaker 1: going to start by talking about our own experiences and

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Speaker 1: what they were like. And these might include positive experiences,

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Speaker 1: they might include difficult experiences, but I want each of

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Speaker 1: us to go around and talk about what it was

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Speaker 1: like for us, the first time we ever went to therapy,

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Speaker 1: and maybe what it was like if you've been to

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Speaker 1: multiple therapists different times, you've met those therapists. Does anybody

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Speaker 1: want to go first? I can go.

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Speaker 4: Okay, this is Josie my first experience.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I actually like talking about because it

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Speaker 5: was one of the reasons I became a therapist. So

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Speaker 5: my parents sent me or my mom sent me to

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Speaker 5: therapy in high school. I was feeling pretty depressed. I

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Speaker 5: gotten like this really dark hole. She sent me to

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Speaker 5: therapy and it was an older therapist. And as wait,

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Speaker 5: when you say older, you're in high school. If you

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Speaker 5: had a guess like sixties, like fifties, sixties, a different generation,

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Speaker 5: like for sure like many away from me.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're so much closer now, Josie, say your

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Speaker 1: age as a.

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Speaker 5: Little like seventeen year old is eight years old, a

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Speaker 5: little like seventeen year old.

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Speaker 4: I was walking in and I was like, who was

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Speaker 4: this woman?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? That could be your grandmother, Yes.

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Speaker 5: Could be my grand It was like, yeah, grandmother vibes

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Speaker 5: and like one of the first there's things we talked about,

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Speaker 5: was she do you know that little like magnet that

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Speaker 5: goes on the fridge and it has feelings on it,

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Speaker 5: and you move the little square around to your different

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Speaker 5: feeling and there's faces. That was one of the first

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Speaker 5: things that she did with me. And I was like, girl,

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Speaker 5: I am not five, Like I was a little sassy.

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Speaker 4: Seventeen year old.

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Speaker 5: Like that made me feel like I was about like

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Speaker 5: five years old. Like just from like where I was

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Speaker 5: in life, I was like, like, looking at it now,

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Speaker 5: she didn't really like assess and like meet me where

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Speaker 5: I was.

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Speaker 1: Right, that might be something she did with every single class.

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Speaker 5: Yes, but just like where I was coming in it

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Speaker 5: like just it wasn't the vibe for me. So then

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Speaker 5: like I think we had like one or two sessions,

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Speaker 5: and a big thing was I mean I was in

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Speaker 5: high school drinking with my friends on the weekends, and

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Speaker 5: that was a huge problem for her. Like as soon

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Speaker 5: as I brought up that I was drinking with my

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Speaker 5: friends on the weekends, it was like we've got to

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Speaker 5: stop that, I'm gonna tell your parents, which like fine,

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Speaker 5: but like it's got to stop, or like we're not

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Speaker 5: gonna get anywhere.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, I am seventeen, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Not listening to this and all of my friends, you know,

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Speaker 5: like no way, I just didn't.

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to be there.

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Speaker 5: I remember like I was like cussing at some points,

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Speaker 5: and she like like it felt like she was uncomfortable

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Speaker 5: with that because she like, I'm very much of like

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Speaker 5: if my client is cussing or like my adolescent client,

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Speaker 5: or I'm gonna meet them where they are and I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna cuss use their language, yes, like she even like

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Speaker 5: I've known therapists that do not cuss, like it's just

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Speaker 5: not part of like their every day and they use

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Speaker 5: it when you're with an ado in session, and it

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Speaker 5: like meets the where they are. So there was just

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Speaker 5: like a bunch of stuff that happened, and I hated

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Speaker 5: it and I never went back and like thank God

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Speaker 5: for my friends pulling me out of that hole. But

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Speaker 5: like how much of a difference would it have made

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Speaker 5: if she had met me where I am? Which is

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Speaker 5: like really important for when I work with adolescents now,

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Speaker 5: of like I know what TikTok is, you can send

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Speaker 5: me tiktoks. I know what you're talking about, Like I

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Speaker 5: know all the trends that you're talking about. I can

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Speaker 5: sit and cuss with you and I know, I've like

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Speaker 5: been in their exact same position, so it's really like, now,

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Speaker 5: knowing the experience that I have, I'm like really intentional

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Speaker 5: about relating to my adolescence.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.

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Speaker 5: I'm so glad it happened, because I also remember thinking, like,

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Speaker 5: as I get older, I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: like she could have done that so differently, and like, also,

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Speaker 5: not every therapist.

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Speaker 4: Is your match.

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Speaker 5: Obviously she was definitely a match for a million other people,

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Speaker 5: but I was just like, she could have done that

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Speaker 5: so much differently and I could have really benefited from it.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you've said that not every therapist is for everybody.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily mean she was bad at what she did.

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Speaker 1: She just wasn't for you. And thinking about that, therapy

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Speaker 1: has evolved so much so therapists that were trained twenty

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Speaker 1: thirty years ago are going to have been trained differently

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Speaker 1: than somebody who just graduated to somebody who graduated ten

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Speaker 1: years ago like I did. And ewh that seems weird

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Speaker 1: to say, but it doesn't mean that anybody's wrong. However,

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Speaker 1: it does give me the reminder that I always need

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Speaker 1: to be continuing to educate myself. Yes, because we're always

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Speaker 1: learning more about what is the most helpful, and that's

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Speaker 1: that's with every single occupation there is and career there is.

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Speaker 1: So that doesn't mean that all older therapists are going

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Speaker 1: to be like that either, but it does happen, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because it's like, well, I've been doing it. I worked

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Speaker 1: with the guy who was actually a fabulous, like incredible therapist,

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Speaker 1: but you would always say, well, this is how we

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Speaker 1: did it for fifteen years, and I'm like, okay, but

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Speaker 1: it's like twenty fifteen now and we gotta shift with

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Speaker 1: the times, which was hard for him because he'd seen

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Speaker 1: that work so much, but then we were seeing it

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Speaker 1: not work anymore. So I'm glad you said that. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: she you know, has been evolving it. She's a cup

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Speaker 1: of tea.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And then my parents didn't like, they didn't know, they didn't,

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Speaker 5: you know, push me to try someone else.

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Speaker 1: It's like, all right, I guess therapy didn't work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: when really, yeah, you are saying all that, because that

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. It means you need something

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Speaker 1: a little different.

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Speaker 4: Yep. M hm.

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Speaker 1: When did you go back to therapy the first time?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: My god? Uh, not until like a year or so ago.

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Speaker 1: No, no way.

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Speaker 5: I feel that I became a therapist before I went

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Speaker 5: to my own therapy, which is kind of scary to

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Speaker 5: think about now, but I literally did not go to

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Speaker 5: therapy until like a year ago, and I was remember

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Speaker 5: being so nervous. Well, I was like on the couch,

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Speaker 5: like shaking because I had been on her position. Of course,

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Speaker 5: I'd been the therapist already, Like I'd never been in

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Speaker 5: like this position since I was little.

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Speaker 4: And it wasn't a positive experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like so.

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Speaker 4: Nervous the whole time, and she was amazing.

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Speaker 5: She still is amazing. She's still my therapist. But it

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Speaker 5: was like a really positive experience.

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Speaker 1: You become such a better therapist by going to therapy, yep,

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Speaker 1: by having that experience. And I am glad you admitted

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Speaker 1: that because I went to grad school wanting to be

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Speaker 1: a therapist. I went to therapy when I was really young.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember much of it. I called her the lady.

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Speaker 1: I hated going I would refuse to speak to her,

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Speaker 1: so I don't really have a lot of memories of

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Speaker 1: that experience. Besides the fact she was older, I had

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Speaker 1: no idea how old she could have been thirty, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, she's old or she could have been

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Speaker 1: like seventy. I have no idea. But I didn't go

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Speaker 1: back until maybe a little bit before I went back

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Speaker 1: to grad school, and I was like, I was gonna

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Speaker 1: go do this without realizing what I'm doing. It's like

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Speaker 1: I don't I'm fine, but I'm gonna help everybody else.

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Speaker 1: Oh it was so eye opening. Our program made us

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Speaker 1: go too.

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Speaker 5: When I was in my program, we didn't, but I

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Speaker 5: know we did beforehand, Like I know my program made

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Speaker 5: you beforehand. But I honestly it was more about money

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Speaker 5: for me, Like in in college and in graduate school,

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Speaker 5: I was like pretty stressed financially, like I had always

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Speaker 5: had a job I had to like it was more.

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Speaker 5: It was way more like financial than anything. I would

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Speaker 5: have loved to go to therapy in college. After college,

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Speaker 5: I would have loved to be in it for longer

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Speaker 5: than I have been. But like when I really could

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Speaker 5: start is when I was making actual money as a therapist.

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Speaker 1: And you are coming from an experience where it wasn't

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Speaker 1: very helpful for me, and I never went back. So Okay,

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Speaker 1: I get that, Jolya, what about you?

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Speaker 2: Well, I feel like I'm continuing the theme with like

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Speaker 2: having an older therapist as your prosist. So my mom

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Speaker 2: found me this therapist when I was fifteen, and I

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Speaker 2: was similarly very depressed, very angsty, and she was a

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Speaker 2: really nice woman. She was probably also sixty and she

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Speaker 2: had a very maternal vibe to her, which was sweet.

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Speaker 2: But sorry, Mom, I know you're gonna listen to this.

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Speaker 3: I was having.

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Speaker 2: Issues with you when I was fifteen, as any fifteen

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Speaker 2: year old would, and I think the fact that this

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Speaker 2: therapist was maternal was kind of hard for me because

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Speaker 2: I wanted to feel like I had to be good

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Speaker 2: for her and that was like the larger issue I

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Speaker 2: needed to work on in and outside of therapy. But

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Speaker 2: I never fully built trust with this woman, so we

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Speaker 2: couldn't work through that in our relationship. And then maybe

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Speaker 2: like five sessions in, she comes to the session and

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Speaker 2: is like.

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Speaker 3: So listen, I'm actually leaving.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to start my own private practice, so you're

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Speaker 2: gonna get transferred to this younger therapist. And in my

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Speaker 2: mind I was like, heck, yes, I'm so glad you're

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Speaker 2: firing me.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know, because I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: I could like say I don't think this is a

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Speaker 2: good fit. I didn't have those words like and I'm

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Speaker 2: a people pleaser, so I would have never fired her.

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Speaker 2: But I got transferred to this younger therapist who was amazing.

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Speaker 2: It just was better for that age for me, and

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Speaker 2: I remember Josie, we probably would have not been friends

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Speaker 2: after I tell you this story.

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Speaker 1: I had the opposite experience.

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Speaker 2: She was like telling me I was working through like,

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Speaker 2: you know, people pleasing, and she said, Okay, before this

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Speaker 2: session ends, I want you to tell.

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Speaker 4: Me did you do the feelings chart?

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Speaker 3: No, we didn't do the feelings start. It's probably why

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Speaker 3: I liked her.

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Speaker 2: She said, I want you to tell me one thing

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Speaker 2: you don't like about me, and that was like horrendous

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Speaker 2: for me. So I sat there for several minutes in silence,

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Speaker 2: trying to think of something, and then finally I said,

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Speaker 2: I don't like that you cuss in sessions. No way, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I was like, really a goody two shoes to.

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Speaker 4: Cuss in sessions?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 4: Yes, Oh my, I love.

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Speaker 1: That your I love that you are actually able to

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Speaker 1: say that, because that's one thing I say in my intakes,

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Speaker 1: which we're getting more into, like what it's like to

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Speaker 1: for your first session and my intakes, I always make

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Speaker 1: it a point to say, I want you to know

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Speaker 1: that this is like an open space, and this is

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Speaker 1: your space, not my space, and I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: really open, and I want you to be open with me.

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Speaker 1: So if I make a face at you that you

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Speaker 1: don't like, or I say something you don't agree with,

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Speaker 1: or I say something that you think is mean, I

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Speaker 1: want you to share that with me and tell me.

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Speaker 1: But I know these people are not really calling me

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Speaker 1: out when that happens, and so that's such a good

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Speaker 1: thing for her to directly have you do that.

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Speaker 3: It was so hard.

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Speaker 2: I like said I'm sorry afterwards, and I felt like

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Speaker 2: I couldn't go back, But it was so important to

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Speaker 2: do that with her, and it was safe obviously to

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Speaker 2: do that with her, and I probably could have never

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Speaker 2: done that.

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Speaker 1: With the because it's your space. And I think when

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Speaker 1: you go to therapy and there's one thing of the therapist,

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Speaker 1: it's just totally not for you, right, But if there's

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Speaker 1: just a couple of things or like I know I've

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Speaker 1: said I've said things that have hurt my client's feelings,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes they leave. I know one time she left

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Speaker 1: and she's like, didn't schedule for a couple of months,

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Speaker 1: and then she came back and eventually talked about it.

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Speaker 1: It's a skill to work on and it's part of

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Speaker 1: what therapy is. But that open communication to say, hey,

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Speaker 1: my needs aren't getting really met here, and I think

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Speaker 1: they can get met if I ask for them. But

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Speaker 1: we are taught to stay or go to be like

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Speaker 1: this is fine. I'll just like suck it up and

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Speaker 1: let you do that, or I'm gonna ghost you. I

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Speaker 1: also had a thought, I feel like the stereotypical therapist

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Speaker 1: is a sixty year old woman with like glasses and

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Speaker 1: a cardigan.

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Speaker 3: Well did your mom find you that therapist?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so so did mine, And I think that was

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Speaker 3: just normal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but they.

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Speaker 5: Were looking for someone who had experience in the field.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: But I can't wait to be that woman too, Like,

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Speaker 2: shout out to the therapists that are that age, because

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Speaker 2: you probably have a lot of experience. And I look

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Speaker 2: like I'm twelve right now, so sometimes people don't think

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Speaker 2: that I'm fit for this job, but oh, when i'm sixty,

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Speaker 2: maybe I will.

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Speaker 1: I think that's interesting. I went to school with some

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Speaker 1: people that were a little older and my cohort and

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Speaker 1: their experiences in internship were so different than ours because

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Speaker 1: people assumed they'd been doing it for a long time.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, we're the same time period. I

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Speaker 1: know just as much as her, or we both know

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Speaker 1: nothing anyway. Okay, so we're going to get into the

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Speaker 1: questions that you guys sent to in which might lead

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Speaker 1: to other things. And the point of this is just

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Speaker 1: to talk about what it might be like for you

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Speaker 1: to walk into your first session and what you can expect. Again,

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Speaker 1: like we all just spoke about, your first experience is

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Speaker 1: going to be different than somebody else's first experience, and

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Speaker 1: so there's always going to be an air of unknown,

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Speaker 1: and that is something you can actually talk about with

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Speaker 1: your therapists. I firmly believe that when we call something

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Speaker 1: out it makes things a bill jillion times easier. So

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Speaker 1: if I tell somebody, hey, I'm really nervous about this whatever,

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Speaker 1: I no longer have to spend energy trying to act

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Speaker 1: like I'm not nervous, and I just get to be nervous,

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Speaker 1: And there's an essence of relaxation in that. So if

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Speaker 1: you walk into the room for the first time and

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Speaker 1: your therapist says, how are you doing? You're allowed to

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Speaker 1: say I'm freaking out, or I don't really know what

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Speaker 1: to do, or how much time am I allowed to

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Speaker 1: answer that. You're allowed to just say what's on your mind.

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Speaker 1: That's the point is when we ask you questions, we

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Speaker 1: really would like to know the answer. So let's get

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Speaker 1: into this. The first question, which is really good, is

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Speaker 1: what if I find it hard to open up or

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Speaker 1: talk during my session? So what would you say?

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Speaker 3: I have had both ends of this.

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Speaker 2: I've had people who come in and are just ready

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Speaker 2: to share and I am ready to listen. And then

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Speaker 2: there are people who come in and are like, not

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Speaker 2: sure how this works and don't necessarily say that, but

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Speaker 2: are definitely sitting there uncomfortable giving one more to answers

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Speaker 2: giving one or answers hesitant, don't really know where to

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Speaker 2: where to go or what to say. And I think

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Speaker 2: I'm very comfortable reading the room, and if you are

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Speaker 2: sitting there silently looking awkward, I'm not going to make

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Speaker 2: you sit there, especially in our first session. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: ask questions and help kind of lead and guide the conversation.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's allowed to be uncomfortable because I'm

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Speaker 2: a stranger for all you know, and you're still learning

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Speaker 2: to trust me. And that's totally normal, especially if this

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Speaker 2: is your first time in therapy. How else would you

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Speaker 2: know unless you watched it on TV, which is not

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Speaker 2: accurate ye time.

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Speaker 1: I believe that wholeheartedly. It makes sense that it would

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Speaker 1: be hard to open up because you don't know who

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Speaker 1: we are. So why would I walk into a room

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Speaker 1: and immediately spill my guts. I mean, some people can

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Speaker 1: do that, and that doesn't mean that it's bad or wrong,

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Speaker 1: But if you can't do that, that probably just means

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Speaker 1: you're in the process of building trust. And silence isn't

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Speaker 1: always bad, and.

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Speaker 5: I feel like it's helpful, Like then we know where

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Speaker 5: to go, so I'll have you know. I've had a

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Speaker 5: client for the first time that's like buckle up, like

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Speaker 5: here we go, let's get into it.

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Speaker 4: I'm ready.

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Speaker 5: And then I've had others that are like you said, Julia,

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Speaker 5: like more feeling uncomfortable, like duh, this is really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 5: But then I know where I'm gonna go during the

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Speaker 5: next session. Okay, So like, if you're feeling uncomfortable and awkward,

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Speaker 5: then let's work on building the relationship a little bit more.

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Speaker 5: Let's play like feelings Jenga, like we've talked about, let's

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Speaker 5: get to know each other a little bit more. Like

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Speaker 5: it's helpful to know now we know where to go

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Speaker 5: for the next few sessions.

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Speaker 1: This metaphor might not pan out, but when you are

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Speaker 1: the doctor, most of the time, it's impossible. We cannot

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Speaker 1: like reorganize our organs and change them when we go

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Speaker 1: to the doctor and or like we're getting some kind

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Speaker 1: of scan or blood work, we cannot change what our

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Speaker 1: blood is. Just like as a therapist, we're not expecting

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Speaker 1: you to change who you are when you come into

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Speaker 1: the room, so we actually need to see you how

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Speaker 1: you really would respond. We don't need you to pretend

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Speaker 1: to be somebody or not and fill the space if

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Speaker 1: you don't know how to fill the space. So it's

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Speaker 1: kind of weird because it's like, well, then you're analyzing me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's literally our jobs is to analyze and in a

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Speaker 1: safe way where we're trying to help you, not harm

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Speaker 1: you or make fun of you or shame you or

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Speaker 1: any of that. Come as you are, Come as you are.

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Speaker 1: Number two, How many sessions does it take to know

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Speaker 1: if your therapist is the right fit.

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Speaker 4: It just depends on the client and the therapist like that.

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Speaker 1: I love this question because it's such a question that

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Speaker 1: like somebody who is going to therapy to like figure

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Speaker 1: things out, I need to know the formula to It

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Speaker 1: reminds me of like Brene Brown when she's going to

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Speaker 1: therapy with the first time and her therapist is like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're not using a measuring stick, We're not taking this data.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I need to know how many sessions until

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Speaker 1: this thing will be done? And there's not an answer

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Speaker 1: for that.

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Speaker 4: I don't think there's an answer.

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Speaker 2: I don't think there is a true answer either. I

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Speaker 2: think that you could see someone for a year and

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Speaker 2: it was really good for that year and then that

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Speaker 2: becomes no longer a fit for you. Or you could

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Speaker 2: see them for four sessions and be like, no, this

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Speaker 2: isn't it. But I I do believe in like having

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Speaker 2: benchmark check ins with yourself and therapy and maybe like

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it is, this is a random number,

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Speaker 2: but like every month or if you're going weekly every month,

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Speaker 2: be like, okay, is this working for me?

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Speaker 3: Is does this feel good? Can I trust them? Am

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Speaker 3: I getting where I want to go?

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Speaker 1: I would also wonder what a person wondering this is

441
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 1: looking for and what they mean by the right fit,

442
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: because that can mean a lot of things. If I'm

443
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 1: looking for the right fit, is who I feel the

444
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: most comfortable with, or who is giving me exactly what

445
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: I need, who is doing what I want? Like, there's

446
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 1: so many versions of what that could mean. And sometimes

447
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: the right fit is something that's going to continue to

448
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: be uncomfortable and push you. And sometimes the right fit

449
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: in a different season might mean something else. And so

450
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 1: I think before you can even give an adjusted or

451
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 1: estimate to that question, you would really have to be

452
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: super aware of what is my idea of a good fit.

453
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: That also can be different depending on the season of

454
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: life you're in.

455
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 5: And I think it's more of a feeling than a number, like, yeah,

456
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 5: it's hard to put like a number on how many sessions,

457
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 5: but it's like, really just how you're feeling about it

458
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 5: and what's your gut telling you about this relationship?

459
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: Isn't it nice when you ask a therapist questions and

460
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 1: they don't ever really answer the question.

461
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 3: Answer it with question how I'm feeling?

462
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: All right? The third question what kind of questions is

463
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 1: a therapist going to ask during a first session? What

464
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: kind of questions is a therapist going to ask during

465
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: a first session?

466
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 5: Okay, So when I first started, I was very structured

467
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 5: because I was working at a company where we took insurance. Like, Okay,

468
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 5: if your therapist takes insurance, it's going to have to

469
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 5: be much more structured than a therapist that doesn't take

470
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 5: insurance because you have to submit certain forms to insurance.

471
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 5: So you're going to go through and medications and family

472
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 5: and goals and why you're seeking counseling and are you

473
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 5: using alcohol? Like just a bunch of questions about yourself

474
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 5: that have to be hit basically by the end of

475
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 5: that session in the next session, so that insurance has

476
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 5: that information and will cover your sessions. But as I've

477
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 5: gone into private pay, I feel like I'm much more

478
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 5: relaxed in terms of like going where the client needs

479
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 5: to go, of like I have kind of a range

480
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 5: of things I want to check in on family while

481
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 5: we're here, goals, but overall, like if the client's coming

482
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 5: in like really needing to talk about something, I'm completely

483
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 5: comfortable talking about that something, and I just it kind

484
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 5: of goes more with what the client needs in that session.

485
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 2: I definitely will ask you so many questions about your

486
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 2: family because I follow that cliche that our family really

487
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: cliche because it's true, because it's true. That's a lot

488
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 2: of attachment theory too, which I love. And so I mean,

489
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: I think there's always something to talk about with your family,

490
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: and if not, if you're not ready for that yet,

491
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,679
Speaker 2: that's okay too. But at the end of a session,

492
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 2: I usually or an intake, I usually like to ask

493
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: some sort of question, like if I ran into you

494
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: a year from now on the street and we were

495
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 2: catching up, what do you want to be different in

496
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: your life than how do you want to be what?

497
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:25,959
Speaker 3: What do you want to be different?

498
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 2: Because that helps kind of think about goals and how

499
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: you want to feel and all these things that can

500
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 2: kind of guide us to reaching those goals.

501
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: And that's a really good visual instead of what do

502
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: you want to work on? I mean, I asked that,

503
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: but that's a really good helps you look at the

504
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,479
Speaker 1: question differently, almost gives you it sounds easier to answer that.

505
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 4: And I want to start you saying that it's funny

506
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 4: you ask about family. I ask about body image every time.

507
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 5: I mean, because most of the clients I'm seeing eating disorder,

508
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 5: but like that's what we're here for, So that's like

509
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 5: something I typically try to hit.

510
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: And your first session is going again to be different

511
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: depending on where you are. If you haven't done it

512
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: intake session, then and this is a first session, you

513
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 1: might not have to answer all these questions. If you

514
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: have done it intake session, the session might go a

515
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: different direction and you might start doing something. But I

516
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: would look at a first session as I'm getting to

517
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: know this person and they are trying to get to

518
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: know me, and that's what I use it for. You're

519
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: also probably going to go over some policies and things

520
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,239
Speaker 1: that are like okay, la blah lah la, l can

521
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: we just get to the point, but they have to

522
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:36,479
Speaker 1: be said. Therapists have to go over confidentiality. I really

523
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 1: enjoy going over just certain policies I have so there's

524
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: never any confusion in the later periods because we know

525
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: you don't always read the forms that you sign. And

526
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 1: I know that because I don't always read the forms

527
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 1: that I sign, and so I like to do that.

528
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: But I would go into that with the idea that

529
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: your therapist is going to want to get to know you,

530
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: so they're going to ask you questions that help them

531
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: get to know you. And I hear so often at

532
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: the end of sessions, I don't know about y'all. My

533
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: clients will say I feel like I just talked about

534
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 1: everything and nothing, or I feel like I blacked out,

535
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: Because if you are feeling out of emotion, you just

536
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: are like in it and then you're like, wait, it's over.

537
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 1: How did we get here?

538
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 2: I had a client once at the end of an INTAKEO,

539
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you just talked so much about myself.

540
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 3: We didn't even get to talk about you.

541
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 4: That's exactly what you do here.

542
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we're not gonna talk about me.

543
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 1: Yes by design? Okay, next question, I think this is

544
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: a therapist asking this like a new therapist asking this

545
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: for the perspective of a therapist. As a therapist, how

546
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: do you prepare for a new client and what are

547
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 1: some of the ways you try to ease the discomfort

548
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: of a first timer.

549
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 5: I think it's important so on our intake form that

550
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 5: we use or I think me and Kat have the

551
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 5: same one, but Julius is different, but it asks I'm

552
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 5: sure Julie is that's the same thing. Have you been

553
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 5: a therapy but before? That's really important knowing Like I

554
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 5: just had a new client today that's been like five times,

555
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 5: but yesterday I had a new client who's never been before,

556
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 5: and like it's really helpful to know what that person

557
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 5: is coming in with in terms of are we nervous,

558
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 5: are we anxious? Are we excited because we've done this

559
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 5: million times? And when we want to keep rolling? So

560
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 5: like that's first and foremost is knowing if they've been

561
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 5: to therapy before. Also, are like an intake form I

562
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 5: guess if this is for our therapist is so important

563
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 5: because it, like ours, is pretty intent extent, whoa extensive

564
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 5: where like even before they walk in the door, I

565
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 5: know a lot of things about them. So that's like

566
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 5: really important for me. Is reading through I read through

567
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 5: the intake form probably like two or three times before

568
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 5: I see that client. So that's just priority for me,

569
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 5: is reading through that several times, and like even having

570
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 5: another list of like Okay, I want to ask more

571
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 5: about this, ask more about this, ask more about this

572
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,959
Speaker 5: on the side, so I am like pretty prepared going

573
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 5: into it. And then just like a new client that's

574
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 5: never been a therapy before I'm really intentional about like

575
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 5: how are you feeling about being here? Like how is

576
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 5: this for you? Of like really starting with like where

577
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 5: are we at? How are we feeling about this before

578
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 5: we get anywhere else in session.

579
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: I think sometimes it's about managing my own discomfort with

580
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 2: meeting a new client, because I also get afraid, and

581
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 2: I get afraid that they're going to be nervous, and

582
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: then I'm going to be nervous, and then We're just

583
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 2: all going to be nervous together.

584
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 3: And then once I get through that.

585
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 2: Spiral, I'm like, oh wait, we're all human and I'm

586
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 2: just going to meet another human, and I want to

587
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: make them feel like they're just doing that too, Like

588
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be this clinical monster who's going

589
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 2: to look down on you.

590
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:43,959
Speaker 3: I want you to come in.

591
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: I really am about hospitality, so I feel like our

592
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 2: therapy room is like you're entering my professional house. I'm

593
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: not going to have you over to my house, but

594
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: this this is my professional house, and I'm welcoming you in.

595
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 3: I'm going to be hospital to you.

596
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: And if a client, if I'm sense that they're kind

597
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 2: of uncomfortable, I'm not afraid to like stray away in

598
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 2: that first session from the hard stuff. And if they

599
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: bring up like their dog and they seem really excited

600
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 2: about it, let's talk about your dog for a couple

601
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: of minutes and cool off. Yeah, just two humans trying

602
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 2: to connect with one another. It's what I remind myself.

603
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: I really like that, and I really believe in normalizing

604
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: the experience of being a human. So saying like, I

605
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: know the first session is weird, or I know what

606
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: can be weird That I just asked you what your

607
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: deepest trauma is, and that's a weird expectation that I

608
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: would think you would answer that you don't know me.

609
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: So normalizing the experience that it is. This is not

610
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: a normal thing that we're doing. You don't do. Hopefully

611
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: you are not going around on the street sharing this

612
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: stuff with everybody. And a lot of the things that

613
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: people are coming to talk about are things that they

614
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: never intended on telling anybody. So that's really important. And

615
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: the space. I worked in an office, and if my

616
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: clients are listening, they might be like, yeah, I still

617
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: dream about that office or have nightmares about the office.

618
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: I worked at one office that was really dark and

619
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: cramped and it just felt a little it didn't feel

620
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: like you could like lounge and wait and be peaceful.

621
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: And then I worked another office that one didn't have windows,

622
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: and the waiting room felt like a doctor's office. So

623
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: when we moved into this building, Crystal and I the

624
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: dietician who's actually been on the podcast multiple times, who

625
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: leased this office together, this building really were intentional about

626
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: we wanted to feel like a home and not a

627
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: doctor's office because we both were in that other place.

628
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: So using furniture that wouldn't be in a doctor's office,

629
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: putting things on the wall that feel nice to read.

630
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: We created a coffee not a coffee station, a t station.

631
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: But you know, it's really hard to make sure that's

632
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: always filled up, so it's in process. But I think

633
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,719
Speaker 1: that's one thing that I always wanted is a place

634
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: that felt like I could just like sit here. I've

635
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: walked out into the waiting room and my clients have

636
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: been asleep on the couch, and I'm like, this is

637
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: what I want. I love that. Okay, this might be

638
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: the last question, and I love this question. How do

639
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: you get over the fear of embarrassment knowing you will

640
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: cry the entire time I can answer this one. Okay,

641
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: do it? Yeah, I'm okay. Well one, I have been

642
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: that person. So I want everybody to hear that your

643
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 1: therapists are human beings, So we are not immune from

644
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: feelings obviously, because we're human beings. Therefore, it only makes

645
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: sense that we might have had similar experiences to you.

646
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 1: And all humans have the same emotions. We don't have

647
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: separate emotions for certain kinds of people. We don't always

648
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: all allow ourselves to feel the range of those emotions,

649
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: but we all have the same ones. And I have

650
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: been this client a couple of years ago. This must

651
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: have been five or six years ago. I went to

652
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: a new therapist and I don't even know if I

653
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: made any sense. It was like hysteric, like noise crying,

654
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: you know, and the therapist looked terrified. And that actually

655
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: wasn't a good fit. And then I went to another

656
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: therapist and the same thing, and she made me feel

657
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: very at ease and responded in a really awesome way.

658
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 1: But I would say to answer this question, there's nothing

659
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: to get over, because it's actually not embarrassing to express

660
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: your emotions in a therapeutic office. It's to me not

661
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: embarrassing to express your emotions in general. However, culture has

662
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: taught us differently, So I don't know if the answer

663
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: to this is how to get over that fear of embarrassment,

664
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: it's how to shift your mind and how can I

665
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: change the way I think about sharing my emotions with

666
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: somebody because I want to see, Like we said earlier,

667
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: I want to see somebody's real experience. I don't want

668
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: to have a manicured presentation of who you are because

669
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: then I really can't help you as well.

670
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 2: So this is probably unique to me, and I think

671
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: this is where my husband says, sometimes I don't sound

672
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 2: like a therapist, but I sound like maybe a serial killer.

673
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 2: But I get really excited when people cry in session,

674
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: especially if it's the first time, because that is brave

675
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: to do. And I always say to clients because a

676
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: lot of clients apologize for crying in therapy, and I'm like,

677
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 2: this is the place to do it. You're the right

678
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 2: place to be crying. And so if you're going to

679
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 2: cry the whole session, I'm so glad. I'm so glad

680
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 2: you could feel like you can do that, and I

681
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 2: want to help you do that. And there's no shame,

682
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: Like you said, there's no shame. I get so happy

683
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 2: when people cry in session.

684
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said the other day to one of y'all,

685
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: I think that I had a client for years, and

686
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: I was like, she cried today, Yeah you did. And

687
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 1: it does sound like a serial kill. But it's not

688
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 1: because we want you to feel miserable. It's because when

689
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: you allow yourself to drop down into your emotions, that

690
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 1: signifies some essence of safety and some essence of you

691
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: allowing your body to do what it needs to do,

692
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: and we are conditioned to kind of rebuke that, and

693
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: therapy is a way to actually go back to the

694
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: way we're meant to be and experience ourselves. So girl,

695
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 1: I don't think you have to get over that. So

696
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: I hope that this conversation was helpful. I know there's

697
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: no way we can cover every single detail of what

698
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 1: a first session is supposed to be like, because one

699
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: they're all different into there's too many pieces to that.

700
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: And I would be here for years, and you know

701
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: I would because I love to talk. So I hope

702
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: that was helpful. If you have more questions, you can

703
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: always send them to me. Catherinett, you need therapy podcast

704
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: dot com. If you would like to connect with any

705
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: of us specifically around therapy and doing that yourself. If

706
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: you live in the state of Tennessee, you can go

707
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: to three qurts Therapy dot com and you can contact

708
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: any of us myself, Josie, Julia, or Stacy who is

709
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: not here with us. If you want to connect with

710
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: us on Instagram, you can follow the podcast at You

711
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast. You can follow me at Kat dot Defada,

712
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 1: and you can follow Julia's public instagram at the Self

713
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: Compassion counselor. Josie sadly does not have a public Instagram,

714
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: but you can find her sometimes in her face sometimes

715
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: over at three quarts Therapy on Instagram. So that's going

716
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: to do it for us today. Thanks you guys for

717
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 1: coming and having this conversation with me, and I hope

718
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: you guys have the day you need to have. Bye.