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Speaker 1: Welcome into a Breakable Mental health podcast with Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer today his weekend motivation. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: teach you a little coaching points. But before that, if

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Speaker 1: you're like many people, you may be surprised Sular that

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Speaker 1: one in five adults in this country experienced mental illness

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Speaker 1: last year. You have far too many fella received the

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Speaker 1: support they need. Carolyn Baker Health is doing something about it.

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Speaker 1: They understand that behavioral health is a key part of whalth,

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Speaker 1: delivering compassionate care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social

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Speaker 1: needs in tandem. Carolyn Baker Health raising the quality of

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Speaker 1: life through empathy and action. So there's two coaching styles

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Speaker 1: out there, and I've had both and my navigation system

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Speaker 1: chased a.

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Speaker 2: Couple of years ago. We're coaching some fighters, had some

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Speaker 2: football players in unbreakable performance down at our gym in

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Speaker 2: my mixed martial arts cross training program that we created

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Speaker 2: years ago for professional athletes.

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Speaker 1: And man, these guys I'm used to, you know, kind

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Speaker 1: of jokingly but with sternly getting on guys when they're

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Speaker 1: not doing things right, like no, he do dude, don't

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Speaker 1: do like this, don't do it like this. How could you, guys,

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Speaker 1: how could you not like? How can you not hear

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying? You don't do it this way, you

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Speaker 1: do it this way, and man, over the years of

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Speaker 1: ky get the craze, heer and phrase, you're crazier. It's

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Speaker 1: so funnily. Finally, somebody I learned from another coach. They said,

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Speaker 1: Jay with today's athlete, to this person, you can't tell

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Speaker 1: them what you don't want. Only tell them what you want.

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Speaker 1: Only coach them what you want. Take the negativity part

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Speaker 1: out of it. That goes for everything. Tell them what

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Speaker 1: you want. Don't even put in the universe what you

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Speaker 1: don't want. So you want them to grab an underlook

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Speaker 1: a certain way, show them and tell them the underhook

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Speaker 1: you want down a certain way. And when they don't

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Speaker 1: do it the right way, instead of saying no, don't

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Speaker 1: do it that way, just continue to positively say, hey,

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Speaker 1: let's do it this way. Grab your under the shoulder,

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Speaker 1: let's do it this way. If you want somebody to

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Speaker 1: throw a punch a certain way and they're not rotating

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Speaker 1: off their foot, let's say don't say to them, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: it's got to come from the ground up. They're not

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Speaker 1: doing that. Don't do it straight, don't keep doing it

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Speaker 1: that way. Just keep telling them, Hey, hey, let's turn

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Speaker 1: on our foot. Our power came from the ground up,

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Speaker 1: so let's turn on our foot like this. Let's keep

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Speaker 1: turning on our foot. Let's work on that. Let's turn

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Speaker 1: on our foot. So over and over and over and

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Speaker 1: over and over. Let's tell them what we want, not

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Speaker 1: what we don't want, and empty. You could see now

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Speaker 1: even a coaching wise coaching in the NFL, I think

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Speaker 1: old school coaching doesn't really work. It doesn't resonate with

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Speaker 1: these guys. They need more authenticity, they need some things,

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Speaker 1: they need a lot of positive reinforcement. Doesn't make your

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Speaker 1: wrong gang. Your job is to get the best out

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Speaker 1: of your athletes, out of your employees, have people around you,

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Speaker 1: and the best way to do it these ways is

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Speaker 1: to tell them what you want, not what you don't want.

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Speaker 1: I'd even started doing my relationship. I don't say to Rosie,

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Speaker 1: don't do this anymore, Sarah, Hey, Rosie, could we do

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Speaker 1: it this way? And I immediately get what I'm looking for.

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Speaker 1: We're in the past. Over and over and over, I

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Speaker 1: kept saying, pay do we say don't do this? Can

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Speaker 1: we not do this anymore? Can we not do this?

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Speaker 1: You know, for whatever reason, our brain is just wired

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Speaker 1: to continually do that for different reasons. But if we

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Speaker 1: just say, hey, maybe we do it this way for

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Speaker 1: at least in our relationship, it starts to get done. So,

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Speaker 1: whether it's business, whether it's a relationship, whether you're trying

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Speaker 1: a fighter, a football player, whatever it is, tell them

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Speaker 1: what you want, don't tell them what you don't want.

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Speaker 1: Let's keep walking this walk together.