Speaker 1: Hi everyone, I'm Katie Curic and this is next question.
Speaker 1: It's hard to remember now, but in the early days
Speaker 1: of the pandemic, back in March of before shelter and
Speaker 1: place orders were widespread, before putting on a mask to
Speaker 1: go outside was as habitual as slipping on your shoes.
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen was a virus that seemed to only affect
Speaker 1: older people or those with underlying health conditions. Even if
Speaker 1: the young and vibrant did get sick, it seemed as
Speaker 1: though it wasn't any worse than recovering from a bad flu.
Speaker 1: But as we all now know, no one was truly
Speaker 1: safe from COVID nineteen, and one of the earliest to
Speaker 1: sound that alarm was Los Angeles fitness trainer Amanda Klutes.
Speaker 1: I know my husband with of nothing more than to
Speaker 1: go on a beautiful walk through Laurea Canyon. He would
Speaker 1: love them, so do it for these people. They can't
Speaker 1: do it right now because in mid March, Amanda's husband,
Speaker 1: then Nick Cordero, was feeling run down and taking frequent
Speaker 1: naps several hours a day. I'm sitting outside of Cedar
Speaker 1: sign A hospital right now. And when his health quickly
Speaker 1: declined and he was forced to go to the hospital.
Speaker 1: Amanda started sharing updates on Instagram. I just finished my
Speaker 1: daily visit to go stand outside and play Nick song
Speaker 1: and sing and pray and talk to him from Afar.
Speaker 1: Within days of being admitted, Nick was on a ventil
Speaker 1: later and in a medically induced coma. So yes, my
Speaker 1: husband is in the I see you and Yes. By
Speaker 1: mid April his leg was amputated. He has to pull
Speaker 1: through because all of this was his plan, l a moving,
Speaker 1: buying a first home. By July, he was gone, hug
Speaker 1: your loved ones, because I'm telling you, when I get
Speaker 1: to hug Nick again, it's going to be like the
Speaker 1: best in my life. Nick was just forty one years old.
Speaker 1: He was a Tony nominated Broadway star, an aspiring musician,
Speaker 1: and a new dad. That is the short version of
Speaker 1: the story. The long and truly moving version of that
Speaker 1: pandemic tragedy is now a memoir called Live Your Life,
Speaker 1: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero. It was
Speaker 1: written by Amanda Clutes with the help of her sister Anna,
Speaker 1: and I was lucky enough to talk to Amanda about Nick,
Speaker 1: the writing process, the heartbreak, and the healing. Amanda I
Speaker 1: hate even asking you to relive this, but you know,
Speaker 1: and I followed you so closely as you told your story,
Speaker 1: really courageously and so openly, which I want to ask
Speaker 1: you about in a moment. But can you just tell
Speaker 1: people what happened to because his diagnosis was so shocking
Speaker 1: and discombobulating and confusing, and it was in the early
Speaker 1: days of the pandemic. And of course I wonder now
Speaker 1: if you know, when with my husband's illness, I think,
Speaker 1: why didn't I recognize this? Why didn't I see this?
Speaker 1: Why didn't I appreciate that this was happening to his body?
Speaker 1: And and you all were I think, I mean it
Speaker 1: was a bit of magical thinking, but also just a
Speaker 1: lack of understanding about this this virus. So tell me
Speaker 1: about Nick. When he first got sick, he was just really,
Speaker 1: really tired, sleeping all the time, and honestly, Katie, to
Speaker 1: a lack of knowledge about the hospital and care and
Speaker 1: what being in the i c U means and everything
Speaker 1: that they have to do in I see, I had
Speaker 1: no clue. I was so green about everything. Um, yes, Nick, Um,
Speaker 1: you know, we still don't know how he got COVID.
Speaker 1: We will never know this it's impossible to trace, you know.
Speaker 1: We can think about we were in New York City,
Speaker 1: this was the beginning of March. Um, he was around
Speaker 1: a lot of people, around a lot of Broadway people,
Speaker 1: but he was also around me and my entire family
Speaker 1: and all of our friends. Um, the whole two weeks
Speaker 1: that we were in New York and no one got COVID,
Speaker 1: you know, so that's you know, so then you think, okay,
Speaker 1: then he got it on the flight back to l A.
Speaker 1: But then he was only two days after that flight
Speaker 1: that he started having symptoms. So that doesn't really even
Speaker 1: correlate the math. So, um, we'll never know that piece.
Speaker 1: But yes, it just started with Nick being really tired,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was a couple of things. I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe he's depressed. His show, um is closed
Speaker 1: because of COVID. We're in this how use um and
Speaker 1: we have nowhere to go. Um, he can't create, he
Speaker 1: can to do the things that he loved to do,
Speaker 1: his music. He was really working on his music. So
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, he's just depressed and jet lagged,
Speaker 1: and so yes, go sleep. And I feel bad now
Speaker 1: because I was, you know, taking pictures of him and
Speaker 1: sending them to my sisters and being like next taking
Speaker 1: another nap. Don't worry, I'm just here, you know, with Elvis.
Speaker 1: You know, um, and I feel like you said, it's like,
Speaker 1: I feel so bad about that now. I didn't recognize
Speaker 1: that anything was wrong because he literally was just sleeping.
Speaker 1: He didn't have a cough, he didn't have a fever,
Speaker 1: he didn't ache nothing, And those were all the signs
Speaker 1: that you were seeing on the news, and trust us,
Speaker 1: we were watching the news like every other person in
Speaker 1: the world. Seven Um. It wasn't until he fainted one
Speaker 1: morning and was kind of really out of sorts that
Speaker 1: I took him to an emergency room and or sorry
Speaker 1: and urging care, and the urgent care did all these
Speaker 1: tests for flu, but not COVID because he didn't have
Speaker 1: any COVID symptoms and he wasn't around anyone that had COVID.
Speaker 1: And at that time, again super early in March, you
Speaker 1: couldn't get a COVID test unless you had the symptoms
Speaker 1: or if you were around somebody that attested positive. Nick
Speaker 1: had neither, so they didn't do a COVID test on him.
Speaker 1: They took an X ray of his lungs, which now
Speaker 1: I know from being in the hospital days that his
Speaker 1: lungs looked terrible, like when it looks like charge of glass.
Speaker 1: So but you know, again didn't know. Nick and I
Speaker 1: looked at this X ray and they said, you know,
Speaker 1: he looks it looks like you have pneumonia, is what
Speaker 1: Urgin Care said. And they said, if you get better, um,
Speaker 1: we're gonna give you some drugs. Hopefully we'll get better.
Speaker 1: If you don't get better, go to the emergency room
Speaker 1: on Monday, over the weekend. With all the drugs that
Speaker 1: they gave him, he was even worse and it got
Speaker 1: really bad. He couldn't breathe. He was having really a
Speaker 1: really hard time breathing and he was using um and
Speaker 1: hailer that they had prescribed him. So that the Sunday
Speaker 1: night before I took him to the emergency room, we
Speaker 1: called our good friend who is a brain like one
Speaker 1: of the top brain surgeons at Cedar Sinai, and he
Speaker 1: said the breathing issues, that that sound good. You should
Speaker 1: take him right away. And I said, well as the morning. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, we have this little boy and he's sleeping
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to you know, he said, Okay,
Speaker 1: but just the first thing in the morning. So we did.
Speaker 1: We took him to the emergency room first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning, and I dropped nick off. I thought I'd
Speaker 1: pick him up in two hours. Um, you know, I
Speaker 1: I look back on that moment, I honestly don't remember
Speaker 1: what we said. I didn't kiss or hug him because
Speaker 1: we we didn't know what he had. And again, like
Speaker 1: in those early days, it was like, don't leave your house,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get COVID. You you know, if somebody's sick,
Speaker 1: don't even go near him. And we had Elvis, and
Speaker 1: I was still breastfeeding Elvis and you know, taking care
Speaker 1: of him. So I didn't hug him, I didn't kiss him.
Speaker 1: I dropped him off at the corner our Cedar SINAI. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't even know if he said goodbye to Elvis.
Speaker 1: I mean, we really thought i'd pick him up in
Speaker 1: a couple of hours. I went for a walk, and
Speaker 1: of course, you know, those hours turned into they want
Speaker 1: to keep me overnight. They did a COVID test. That
Speaker 1: turned into that morning, Um, they're taking me to the
Speaker 1: i c U. My my organs aren't getting enough oxygen.
Speaker 1: And then the next day they want to, you know,
Speaker 1: put me under and put me on the ventil lator.
Speaker 1: So upsetting to read that, Amanda, because obviously things just spiraled.
Speaker 1: But when you write about Nick just basically waving to
Speaker 1: you on the curb and you saying goodbye, without any
Speaker 1: kind of idea that this was going to be the
Speaker 1: last time you saw him outside a hospital setting and
Speaker 1: the last time he was him, you know, because I
Speaker 1: saw him again, of course, but he couldn't he could
Speaker 1: bear even opened his eyes, you know, on a good
Speaker 1: day he could open his eyes. So and uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's so hard. I I hate thinking about
Speaker 1: that moment, and it only makes me every time I
Speaker 1: say goodbye to Elvis, even if his nanny is just
Speaker 1: taking him to music class, I hug and kissed that
Speaker 1: little boy and let him know I love him, because
Speaker 1: you just never know. I mean, life is just That's
Speaker 1: one thing I learned this past year is how fragile
Speaker 1: life is. And now you just never know. And you
Speaker 1: can't take it for granted. When you went to see
Speaker 1: him when he was going to be put on a
Speaker 1: ventil later, uh, he was quite out of it, as
Speaker 1: you said. His h you know, you describe him as
Speaker 1: sleeping with his eyes sort of half open, which was
Speaker 1: scary and disturbing, I know. But he did tell you
Speaker 1: that he was scared, didn't he. Well, that was Um,
Speaker 1: that was actually a beautiful moment. So I that was
Speaker 1: at four o'clock in the morning, he called me. They
Speaker 1: want and he said, they want, they want to put
Speaker 1: me on a ventilator. Um. And uh and I said, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: again not really fully even understanding what it was. I
Speaker 1: really didn't. I don't even think Nick did. Um. And
Speaker 1: you know, in the I c you that's so formulaic
Speaker 1: that you know, it's it's nothing to them. And so um.
Speaker 1: When he called to tell me that I had elvis
Speaker 1: in my arms, it was four o'clock in the morning,
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, honey. Um. You know, they said
Speaker 1: they'll it'll be a couple of days at the most
Speaker 1: seven days. Um. But this is just so that my
Speaker 1: body can rest and I can get better and and
Speaker 1: they can you know, get oxygen really into my body
Speaker 1: and my organs. And so we said, I love you.
Speaker 1: And that's the last time I heard, you know, I
Speaker 1: heard Nick speak. The beautiful moment was later on in
Speaker 1: the hospital. UM, towards the end. I was sitting there
Speaker 1: one day with Nick's mother and a nurse walked into
Speaker 1: the room and he said, are you Amanda And I
Speaker 1: said yes, and he said, oh my gosh, I've been
Speaker 1: trying to find you. I heard that you had been
Speaker 1: visiting Nick. He said, I want to let you know.
Speaker 1: I'm the nurse that was with Nick when they put
Speaker 1: him on the ventilator, And of course, like I was
Speaker 1: already bawling, and he said he said, um, that Nick
Speaker 1: was really scared, and that um, that he was really
Speaker 1: scared that he would never see his wife A kidding
Speaker 1: in So, I mean, at the moment, it was actually
Speaker 1: a beautiful moment. It's kind of like, really sad to
Speaker 1: think about. But when the nurse came in to tell
Speaker 1: me that, it was just like I was by nixt side,
Speaker 1: I was holding his hand, and I just like I
Speaker 1: was so happy that I was there with him. What
Speaker 1: it's must be So, I mean, first of all, what
Speaker 1: you've been through is incredibly traumatizing on its own, but
Speaker 1: the circumstances not being able to see him then I
Speaker 1: know they did let you come in and see him ultimately,
Speaker 1: but I mean to feel so I think you feel
Speaker 1: powerless and helpless under the best of circumstances when someone
Speaker 1: you love is sick, and then when you cannot be
Speaker 1: there physically, it must have been maddening and just so
Speaker 1: I don't even know if there's a word for it, Amanda,
Speaker 1: so frustrating and so um infuriating. I don't even know,
Speaker 1: as I said, how to describe that feeling you must
Speaker 1: have had not being able to be there to to
Speaker 1: support him and to comfort him and to help him. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: and it was it was really hard too, because you know,
Speaker 1: again you you in retrospect, I have a slightly different
Speaker 1: you know, feeling in the moment as a wife, you know,
Speaker 1: and as a mother. Um, I was. I was maddening.
Speaker 1: It was very frustrating. And you know, how can you
Speaker 1: not let me in this hospital right now? I don't
Speaker 1: go anywhere I'm safe, I've been tested, I don't have COVID. Um.
Speaker 1: I need to be by him. Nick needs his people,
Speaker 1: you know, his person, he needs support um. And of course,
Speaker 1: you know, I argued every day, and it was it
Speaker 1: was such a struggle with the hospital and at the
Speaker 1: time very very hard to understand. Now looking back on it,
Speaker 1: I have of course, I mean I always had admiration
Speaker 1: and appreciation to those doctors and nurses, but now looking
Speaker 1: back on it, having you know, that experience, um, I'm
Speaker 1: of course, I'm so grateful to them for even letting
Speaker 1: me in during during this time and everything that was
Speaker 1: going on, and how on a daily basis, anybody that
Speaker 1: entered that hospital was a asked to the patients and
Speaker 1: to the doctors and nurses. So it's so hard, Katie,
Speaker 1: because like, yes, at the time, I was filled like anger,
Speaker 1: battle every day with anyone I could just to try
Speaker 1: to walk through those doors. And you know, the security
Speaker 1: at Cedar Sine at the time was like the White House.
Speaker 1: It was like you aren't getting it. Um, So it
Speaker 1: was a it was a struggle, but um, you know,
Speaker 1: of course they needed it to be that way, and
Speaker 1: of course they needed to protect anyone and everyone that
Speaker 1: was there risking their lives with this whole pandemic. So
Speaker 1: it was, yeah, it was a battle every day. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about Nick because he had no underlying conditions.
Speaker 1: He was a very healthy person. He uh you know,
Speaker 1: took good care of himself, right, he was in great shape.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's just such a mystery why what
Speaker 1: was it about his biology? And I'm asking this rhetorically
Speaker 1: that that created this situation where this virus was so
Speaker 1: devastating to him. And it's it's still a mystery, isn't it. Yes,
Speaker 1: it certainly is because you know, like you said, he
Speaker 1: had no pre existing health conditions, and on top of that,
Speaker 1: he was even somebody that never really had to go
Speaker 1: to the doctor. He never got a cold, he you know,
Speaker 1: never had the flu. I mean it just you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm always at the doctor. I've always had things,
Speaker 1: you know, I've had a thyroid disorder since I was
Speaker 1: in sixth grade. I mean I'm always the one that
Speaker 1: like has the issues. And and then you know, and
Speaker 1: then this happened to him. I mean, yes, super healthy,
Speaker 1: forty one years old and um, you know, had everything
Speaker 1: in life waiting for him. You know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: there's all the things. You know, of course that we
Speaker 1: all heard blood types, um, the fact that he was
Speaker 1: um Latino. You know, it hit the Hispanic community. I mean,
Speaker 1: we went through all of it, and I asked, you know,
Speaker 1: next doctors every single time, and their answer every single
Speaker 1: time was, we don't know. We don't know why this
Speaker 1: virus sometimes really gets to somebody, and why sometimes you
Speaker 1: don't have any symptoms, and why one person in the
Speaker 1: household will get it but nobody else will, and then
Speaker 1: that whole household, everybody will get it. Nobody knows. And
Speaker 1: they also said, that's what's making this so hard about
Speaker 1: helping people and and and and being here right now
Speaker 1: dealing with all these people's um, you know, issues at
Speaker 1: the moment, because they couldn't There was no recipe, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, not one thing worked
Speaker 1: for everybody. It's so it was. It was the wild
Speaker 1: wild West at the time. We'll be taking a short break,
Speaker 1: but when we come back, grief in the age of Instagram.
Speaker 1: That's right after this. I have had sort of a
Speaker 1: weird day, super emotional and tired, and I kind of
Speaker 1: just feel like the wind is knocked out of me.
Speaker 1: I just feel like if he hears his music, if
Speaker 1: he hears us playing his music, you know, that'll ground him.
Speaker 1: To wake him up, because the doctor said it's all
Speaker 1: about we got to wake him up. So you guys,
Speaker 1: he did get another great report from the doctor. Things
Speaker 1: are just slightly looking better. I'm gonna tell you guys
Speaker 1: some more Nick stories because I have so many people
Speaker 1: praying for him. It's so sorry. Um, just like a
Speaker 1: beautiful story. My husband has been in the ICU for
Speaker 1: ninety one days. We don't know if he will make it.
Speaker 1: I hope and pray every single day in my life
Speaker 1: that he does. You went through the whole process and
Speaker 1: this whole journey very publicly on Instagram, and I, like
Speaker 1: so many other people watched you and I'm curious why
Speaker 1: why you decided to do that and how you found
Speaker 1: the courage to do it, because I know it wasn't easy.
Speaker 1: I mean, we could see how difficult it was on
Speaker 1: many days, and you were asking people to pray for
Speaker 1: Nick and giving people updates and there it was profoundly personal.
Speaker 1: And did you just did you just feel like you
Speaker 1: needed that outlet? How did that kind start? And when
Speaker 1: did you decide I'm going to just be really honest
Speaker 1: and real on social media about what I'm going through.
Speaker 1: Well it started because, um, you know, Katie, I have
Speaker 1: this fitness business that I run, and so I'm you know,
Speaker 1: before all of this happened, I had fifty thou followers
Speaker 1: on Instagram. But um, to those fifty thousand followers, I
Speaker 1: was always on Instagram, always promoting fitness in my life
Speaker 1: and showing Elvis and you know Nick, and you know
Speaker 1: anything that happened with Nick and I are wedding. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: I was already very public, but to that small amount
Speaker 1: of people, and um, when Nick got sick and I
Speaker 1: took him to the hospital and then when he was
Speaker 1: in the ICU, I originally got on Instagram and and
Speaker 1: started talking about it because I thought, well, first of all,
Speaker 1: I can't be on Instagram, am being this fitness person,
Speaker 1: but have this other part of my life happening and
Speaker 1: not be honest about it. It It felt like I would
Speaker 1: be living a lie. So I felt like I had
Speaker 1: to at least address it. And then, but more importantly
Speaker 1: was the fact that I felt like to somebody who
Speaker 1: is sitting at home watching the news and hearing what
Speaker 1: was happening, and hearing the symptoms that were COVID symptoms,
Speaker 1: but then my husband's laying in the i c U
Speaker 1: and he didn't have any of these symptoms, I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, I have to I have to talk about
Speaker 1: this because if there's anyone else laying on their couch
Speaker 1: just tired, maybe they should, you know, listen and and
Speaker 1: get checked and tested because this this might be a
Speaker 1: symptom too. Um. So you know, I thank God that
Speaker 1: that I did that, just because I feel like it
Speaker 1: helped a lot of people just be aware of the situation.
Speaker 1: And and then of course, like things just you know, snowballed.
Speaker 1: And in eighteen days, Nick was you know, had died,
Speaker 1: lost a leg, was on ecmo um and barely surviving
Speaker 1: in eighteen days. So it kind of just really quickly
Speaker 1: snowballed again when I when I look back, because in
Speaker 1: the moment, I was just kind of um in fighter mode,
Speaker 1: you know, and and as I was sharing things that
Speaker 1: the response from people was so comforting. The kindness, the prayers,
Speaker 1: the support, the food on our doorstep, the you know,
Speaker 1: any anything. I mean, it was it was crazy how
Speaker 1: generous people were being, and it was so helpful. It
Speaker 1: was really helping me. And then I realized in writing
Speaker 1: this book that when I look back at sharing my
Speaker 1: story and why I probably kept continuing doing it was
Speaker 1: because it was literally therapy for me. Every single day
Speaker 1: I was on I was talking it out. Something would
Speaker 1: happen and I would just talk it out. Number one
Speaker 1: role a therapist will do, just talk talk what happened,
Speaker 1: write it down or talk it out. So every day
Speaker 1: I was just being completely honest and open talking everything
Speaker 1: that was happening. It was it was literally like I
Speaker 1: was giving myself therapy every day. I didn't realize I
Speaker 1: was doing that until my girlfriend, who was studying to
Speaker 1: be a therapist, said to me after we wrote after
Speaker 1: I wrote the book, she goes, you know you you
Speaker 1: you did like what a therapist would tell you to
Speaker 1: do if if if they were giving you advice to like, okay,
Speaker 1: just day one, what happened, And she was, you did
Speaker 1: that every single day for yourself. So she said, you're
Speaker 1: kind of if if I were looking for a therapist
Speaker 1: for you, you kind of need to look for somebody
Speaker 1: who can work backwards because you've already done a lot
Speaker 1: of the work that a therapist would tell you to
Speaker 1: do first and foremost talk about it and then write
Speaker 1: it down. She goes, so you talked about it and
Speaker 1: now you've written it down. So she was like, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know how to treat you. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to tell you to do. Um, But I
Speaker 1: realized now it was therapy and and and asking people
Speaker 1: for help and asking people for prayers, the medical advice
Speaker 1: I got every day, the doctors from all over the
Speaker 1: world that we're reaching out to me. I mean, it
Speaker 1: was it was I could not have gotten through those
Speaker 1: days without that love and support. I really couldn't have.
Speaker 1: And I do believe I truly believe Nick felt it
Speaker 1: in the hospital. I really do. You were asked, I know,
Speaker 1: about writing a book, Amanda, two weeks after Nick died,
Speaker 1: and I just I can't imagine being approached about that
Speaker 1: and being ready to kind of talk about what you
Speaker 1: had been through. But you wanted to and you were ready,
Speaker 1: or maybe you weren't, but you decided to try tell
Speaker 1: me about the process you went through when it came
Speaker 1: to writing this book, or actually deciding you would write
Speaker 1: a book. Um. Well, Actually Harper's HarperCollins reached out to
Speaker 1: me end of June, so before Nick passed, and um, she,
Speaker 1: Lisa Sharky reached out to me and she said, I've
Speaker 1: been following this story and she said, um, it needs
Speaker 1: to be written down. It's a piece of history, I believe,
Speaker 1: and this story is just remarkable. And she said, I
Speaker 1: don't even care how it ends. Um, I just think
Speaker 1: it's important that you write it down and I was
Speaker 1: leaving the hospital. I was like, you know, I couldn't
Speaker 1: during that time, like my mind was so just all
Speaker 1: over the place, of course, and I said, well, oh my,
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I don't even I don't I'm
Speaker 1: not a writer. And she said, no, what we would
Speaker 1: get somebody to help you write it, and and I
Speaker 1: didn't have a lit agent, and so I said, well,
Speaker 1: you know, let me think about this. I reached out
Speaker 1: to Gabrielle Bernstein, who had been following the story and
Speaker 1: had been kind of uh writing to me over Instagram,
Speaker 1: any kind of things that she can do to help.
Speaker 1: So I reached out to her. She got on the
Speaker 1: phone with me and she said, um, I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: you in touch with my lit agent, and I think
Speaker 1: you should do this. I think you should do this.
Speaker 1: And I said okay. And I quickly thought of, you know,
Speaker 1: if I if I want somebody to write this with me,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna need somebody to write this with me.
Speaker 1: I needed to be my little sister. Um. So I
Speaker 1: pitched Anna to HarperCollins, and after reading just a snippet
Speaker 1: of how she writes, she's an incredible writer. They were
Speaker 1: like yes, of course, Oh my gosh. And I said,
Speaker 1: you know, Anna has been not only with me through
Speaker 1: this whole battle, she's been in the hospital with me,
Speaker 1: but she also was a huge part of um, my
Speaker 1: relationship with Nick. She was on our honeymoon, part of
Speaker 1: our honeymoon with us. I mean, she's he must have
Speaker 1: loved that. I did. No, Actually, we had a we
Speaker 1: had an epic honeymoon that I'm honestly like, thank god
Speaker 1: we did that. And and the bit that Anna was
Speaker 1: on actually was a good amount of friends we were
Speaker 1: with and it was so great, it was so great.
Speaker 1: But um, she was such a part of our lives
Speaker 1: and so um, you know, was the perfect person to
Speaker 1: do this with. And um, you know Nick passed and
Speaker 1: they they And by no means we're pressuring me to
Speaker 1: start writing. But I went to Ohio with my parents
Speaker 1: just to kind of decompress and have like some time,
Speaker 1: and I put Elvis to bed one night and I
Speaker 1: just started writing. Um. And again, I think it was
Speaker 1: that whole thing of be myself therapy. And I didn't
Speaker 1: even know I was doing it. Um, I'm so glad
Speaker 1: I did. I would write till one o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: Through tears. I mean there were sometimes I couldn't even
Speaker 1: see the keyboard or what I was typing because I
Speaker 1: was crying so hard. And I would stay up till
Speaker 1: like one or two o'clock in the morning, and I
Speaker 1: would just kind of, you know, just right um, not
Speaker 1: really even knowing, you know, what I was writing necessarily,
Speaker 1: And I started sending things to Anna, and Anna started
Speaker 1: kind of putting it into something and and that's kind
Speaker 1: of how we started writing this book together. And it
Speaker 1: was a really magical experience and and I think for
Speaker 1: both of us, really cathartic, because you know, Anna was
Speaker 1: such a part of this story, and I think it
Speaker 1: really helped us both to process everything. And I'm really
Speaker 1: glad I started writing it when I did, because I'm
Speaker 1: sure you could understand, Katie, Like everything was so fresh
Speaker 1: in my mind, the numb verst, the medical terms, the dates,
Speaker 1: like I knew the dates, what the hospital looked like,
Speaker 1: everything sort of the layout of the hospital, almost, the
Speaker 1: smell of the hospital, the room numbers, the names of nurses,
Speaker 1: I mean, like everything, the medications, Like I mean, you
Speaker 1: had I had it in my brain. It was so there.
Speaker 1: If you asked me to write this book. Now, I
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. I don't have that memory. Unless I
Speaker 1: had written things down, I would not have been able
Speaker 1: to member, like, remember the details in this book are
Speaker 1: so just there there because it was so fresh in
Speaker 1: my memory. And I'm so glad that I just put
Speaker 1: my pen to paper or my fingers to the keyboard
Speaker 1: because it needed to be written down, especially for Elvis.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad this book exists for Elvis because it
Speaker 1: really like I think we'll give him a lot of
Speaker 1: piece one day too, I'm sure. And I think the
Speaker 1: process is so interesting, Amanda, because Anna was in Paris
Speaker 1: and you were in California and Ohio. I guess both,
Speaker 1: um and so you would write and and so you
Speaker 1: had a time difference, and and I guess when she'd
Speaker 1: wake up, she'd kind of how did that work? It
Speaker 1: actually ironically worked out great when when I brought her
Speaker 1: on board for this project, she was just about to
Speaker 1: leave for Paris, and I thought to myself, Anna, I
Speaker 1: don't know how we're gonna do this, Like I think
Speaker 1: you should stay in Laurel Canyon with me and let's
Speaker 1: like write this book and then you go to Paris.
Speaker 1: And she, you know, was just adamant about getting back
Speaker 1: to Paris rightfully. So um, and I'm so glad she did.
Speaker 1: But it actually worked out perfectly because as she was
Speaker 1: waking up, I was going to bed, so I was
Speaker 1: just finishing, you know, whatever I was finishing, and I
Speaker 1: would press send and literally I'd like pull the covers
Speaker 1: over me, and I'd get a text message from her going,
Speaker 1: I just woke up, sister, or I saw your email.
Speaker 1: I'm on it. And so then she would work all
Speaker 1: during the day and then by the time I would
Speaker 1: wake up, I would have her notes, and so that
Speaker 1: after I put Elvis down for bed, I could start
Speaker 1: on her notes. It really flowed so well. And then
Speaker 1: we would get on the phone and FaceTime or you know,
Speaker 1: chat if we needed to kind of like go through details,
Speaker 1: or I would say to her a lot like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, actually, Anna, that's not right, or that's not
Speaker 1: what I was thinking, or you know, she knows me
Speaker 1: so well. I mean, we we used to call Nick
Speaker 1: and she would pick up the she would call him
Speaker 1: and pretend to be me and he wouldn't even know.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's how she. She sounds like me, talks
Speaker 1: like me. I mean, we finished these other sentences. So
Speaker 1: a lot of times she would write something and and
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh my gosh, Anna, like I
Speaker 1: can't like it's like you were inside my brain. And
Speaker 1: then other time she would I would be like, that's
Speaker 1: actually not what I was thinking. He's like, oh okay, man,
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, tell me. And so we had a
Speaker 1: lot of beautiful moments, and then a lot of times
Speaker 1: where I would go to bed sobbing and she would
Speaker 1: text me and she would say, Sister, I know I
Speaker 1: went to bed sobbing too. Um, I can't believe this happened.
Speaker 1: And I would write back, I can't believe this happened either.
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem real. And um, you know because you
Speaker 1: write this that you write it down, especially Katie, like
Speaker 1: when you read the book, all of the things that
Speaker 1: are so weird, all the coincidences, all the people that
Speaker 1: started coming into our lives, it just like it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem real, you know. And so a lot of times
Speaker 1: we would be writing something and we would just say like,
Speaker 1: this doesn't seem real, and yet we know it was.
Speaker 1: We lift it, but it just doesn't seem real. Still,
Speaker 1: and the dedication you write for Nick, now you know
Speaker 1: your story for Elvis. Now you have his story. I'm
Speaker 1: curious because you're very honest about some of your struggles
Speaker 1: with Nick um and were you ever tempted Amanda with
Speaker 1: Anna to kind of um given almost sanitized version of
Speaker 1: of Nick. Because this is going to be a real
Speaker 1: lesson and kind of an education for Elvis. And I'm
Speaker 1: curious how you weighed those two things about being you know,
Speaker 1: showing Nick as a complete human being flaws and all. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean we all have flaws. I mean one of
Speaker 1: my biggest flaws through you know, my relationship with Nick
Speaker 1: was and I you know, hate myself for it, Um,
Speaker 1: but I never really truly believed in his music like
Speaker 1: it was you know. I hate to say that, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't until he was in the hospital and I
Speaker 1: I started singing Live your Life every day that I
Speaker 1: was like, this is an amazing song, and wow, like
Speaker 1: my husband so talented, but gosh, you know, and I
Speaker 1: think this is so relatable. Nick was forty, I was
Speaker 1: thirty eight. We had a new baby, and he wanted
Speaker 1: to like go into music, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: you know, honey, like I don't know if this is
Speaker 1: the time to you know, go on tour with a
Speaker 1: band around the world, the country and in a bus
Speaker 1: two bars. You know what, how how how are we
Speaker 1: supposed to So, you know, I look back and I'm like, gosh,
Speaker 1: I really sucked as like being the supportive wife, you know.
Speaker 1: And we thought about moving to California for all year
Speaker 1: we thought about it. He wanted to come to California.
Speaker 1: That's where he smelled opportunity, and that's where music was,
Speaker 1: and that's where he had to be. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: my business is here in New York and and in
Speaker 1: the actor world for you knows you here, and and
Speaker 1: my parents have across the hall, and my sisters are
Speaker 1: up the street, like we're really leaving, We're gonna go
Speaker 1: across the country. And your mom is in Toronto, an
Speaker 1: hour flight from New York work. She comes down all
Speaker 1: the time, you know, Like and you just want to
Speaker 1: pick us up and leave us. Yeah, but you know
Speaker 1: that's that's marriage. Like, give me a marriage that's perfect
Speaker 1: all the time, that two people are perfect all the
Speaker 1: time with no flaws. That doesn't exist. And and so
Speaker 1: to to tell this story and pretend like we were
Speaker 1: this perfect couple or that we never had problems, or
Speaker 1: that we never you know, got on each other's nerves
Speaker 1: or or almost broke up, you know, before we really
Speaker 1: kind of got it together. I just you know, that's
Speaker 1: not the truth. And if I hope, if anything, after
Speaker 1: following me through all of this, you know I'm an
Speaker 1: honest person. I will always give you the honest report
Speaker 1: about things going down, because you know there's enough you know,
Speaker 1: making everything perfect for the world and social media especially,
Speaker 1: I think we're all kind of sick of that, right.
Speaker 1: What would you ideal like Elvis to say, when he's
Speaker 1: old enough to read this book, I'm so glad you
Speaker 1: wrote this, Mom. I'm you know, I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: I know I have I'm so glad I have this.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that my family will have this. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, I think, like I said, there's there's so
Speaker 1: if I didn't, if I hadn't written this down, it
Speaker 1: would have all been from memory. And I think we
Speaker 1: can all attest to the fact that as years pass on,
Speaker 1: you're like, yes, you were born June tenth, it was
Speaker 1: in the morning, six something, and you weighed seven pounds
Speaker 1: and I fourteen owns is I mean you know, I
Speaker 1: mean unless it's written down. As time goes on, you
Speaker 1: just forget things, and I don't. I this was something
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to forget. I don't ever want
Speaker 1: to pass by this story and and who Nick was
Speaker 1: and how hard he fought, because he truly did. He
Speaker 1: fought so hard, and I know he did. I saw it.
Speaker 1: And you know, Elvis will never know because he was
Speaker 1: too little and by the time he came to the hospital,
Speaker 1: it was too late. You know, Nick was was almost
Speaker 1: passing and and Elvis was you know, he wasn't old
Speaker 1: enough to fully understand where he was or who he
Speaker 1: was even seeing. So you know, I'm just glad that
Speaker 1: he has this now. Um and I'm and I'm you know,
Speaker 1: it was crazy. There was a day where Jennifer Love Hewitt,
Speaker 1: who has become a dear friend through all of this,
Speaker 1: she she called me. She's like, I have to talk
Speaker 1: to you, and I was like, okay, And you know,
Speaker 1: she's very spiritual, and she said, I had an amazing
Speaker 1: dream about Nick. He visited me in my dreams, took
Speaker 1: me on a walk through laure O Canyon and was
Speaker 1: talking to me about your book. And he said he
Speaker 1: sat beside you every day when you wrote and he
Speaker 1: now knows his story and he has closure on his life.
Speaker 1: He knows what happened to him in the hospital. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. And so I had
Speaker 1: never thought of it that way. I never wrote this
Speaker 1: book so that Nick had closure. But it makes sense.
Speaker 1: You mean, you'll see in the book. I I was
Speaker 1: positive Penny every day in that hospital overrem I never
Speaker 1: let anything negative enter his room, and if a doctor
Speaker 1: walked him, we always exited to talk. It was only
Speaker 1: positive things. I never really let him know the severity
Speaker 1: of his situation because I just wanted him to to
Speaker 1: focus on living and walking out of that hospital one
Speaker 1: day and having his code rocky. And so he never knew.
Speaker 1: And um, I never thought of it that way until
Speaker 1: she said that, And then I was like, wow, that's
Speaker 1: so Nick needing closure on his life. Of course, we all,
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of us are closure people, and
Speaker 1: Nick was he he would have needed this closure. And
Speaker 1: so when I wrote the dedication, it was actually the
Speaker 1: day I started my audiobook recording of it, and and
Speaker 1: she said, sorry, the director Travis said, do you know
Speaker 1: your dedication yet? I said I do now. I said,
Speaker 1: it's very simple and I wrote the dedication because now
Speaker 1: Nick knows his story, and now Elvis has the story.
Speaker 1: When we come back, Amanda share some funny Nick stories
Speaker 1: and a very touching letter that's right after this. Now,
Speaker 1: please welcome Tony nominee Nick Cordero and the Company of
Speaker 1: Bullets over Broadway. Yeah. In preparing for this interview, I
Speaker 1: went back and watched Nick's Tony performance and there you were. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, that's Amanda, She's in there. You
Speaker 1: were handing him something right, yes, his his gun. And
Speaker 1: it was so exciting because you know, when you're in
Speaker 1: a Broadway show, you only get nominated if you're a
Speaker 1: New Broadway show, and so you only perform if you're
Speaker 1: a New Broadway show. So it's it's a huge, you know,
Speaker 1: a huge deal if you're asked to perform at the
Speaker 1: Tony Awards and you're a performer. I mean there's a
Speaker 1: lot of times you do fourteen Broadway shows but never
Speaker 1: get to perform at the Tony Awards because it just
Speaker 1: doesn't work out. And so they you know, the number
Speaker 1: that they did was an all male number. Nick's big
Speaker 1: number because he was nominated for a Tony and Susan
Speaker 1: Stroman called me up one day. I'll never forget it,
Speaker 1: and she said, you know, we need um somebody to
Speaker 1: come on and carry give Nick his gun, and so
Speaker 1: I thought it would be perfect if it was you.
Speaker 1: And I think she had a good inkling that Nick
Speaker 1: and I were, you know, kind of flirting from on
Speaker 1: stage and off stage, and so I know she kind
Speaker 1: of probably picked me for that reason too. But it
Speaker 1: was very kind of her to choose me to just
Speaker 1: walk out and walk walk out, walk on and off
Speaker 1: stage because it was so excited that I got to
Speaker 1: perform with the Tony Awards and and give Nick his gun.
Speaker 1: And then no one really knows, but he really messed
Speaker 1: up his lines um singing, and as I was handing
Speaker 1: him his gun, I was smiling, going, oh god, you're
Speaker 1: really just messed up your lines. And he's looking at
Speaker 1: me like I just messed up my lines. And he
Speaker 1: killed himself the whole day. Oh, he was so sad
Speaker 1: that he messed up his lines. But nobody knew unless
Speaker 1: you knew. I was gonna say, I think you're the
Speaker 1: only two who noticed. But I saw him dancing and
Speaker 1: singing and thought, wow, you know he's he was so tall, right,
Speaker 1: how tall was nixt six five katies? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: He was a fantastic dancer. And that's hard when you're
Speaker 1: that tall, isn't it to dance like that? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: you know, you know, Susan Struman is all about dancing
Speaker 1: into the ground, you know, really using your lower body,
Speaker 1: kind of staying underneath yourself when you dance that, you know,
Speaker 1: just you know. And it was an all male number
Speaker 1: and there you know, the you know, gangsters, and so
Speaker 1: it was very like down and dirty kind of number.
Speaker 1: And uh, right from Bullets over Broadway obviously, and what
Speaker 1: was the song? I'm trying to remember the sunny business.
Speaker 1: It ain't nobody's business if I do, right, Yeah, get
Speaker 1: back to slack at leave for four another thing business
Speaker 1: if I do. And so it was great, you know,
Speaker 1: ned worked every day on that dance number. Even before
Speaker 1: we started rehearsals. Susan Struman had him doing private tab
Speaker 1: lessons with James Gray, the associate choreographer, and uh, there
Speaker 1: there are many days in the rehearsal room before we
Speaker 1: started rehearsals that I was the I was the costume model,
Speaker 1: so I was doing the costume modeling and he was
Speaker 1: in the other room doing private tap lessons, and you know,
Speaker 1: we we didn't even like each other that I mean,
Speaker 1: we were just friendly, like hi, Hi. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's just funny to look back on those memories and
Speaker 1: know that I was, you know, naked, wrapped in fur
Speaker 1: in one room and he's doing private tap lessons in another.
Speaker 1: And I believe you write about the fact that he
Speaker 1: caught a glimpse of you naked wrapped him for and
Speaker 1: that might have changed the dynamics ever so slightly. Amanda,
Speaker 1: that was a funny moment. The dole evanted door opened,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh Anna, and you obviously were
Speaker 1: closer than close before you started this book, and now
Speaker 1: I think probably you know, two heart speat is one
Speaker 1: in many ways. I don't know where I got that,
Speaker 1: but it sounded good. And uh, she you and wlu
Speaker 1: did um a letter she wrote you on Mother's Day
Speaker 1: because you were a little a slightly miffed and disappointed
Speaker 1: that Nick didn't make a fuss when you were pregnant
Speaker 1: with Elvis, and then of course he couldn't for the
Speaker 1: next Mother's Day. But she wrote you a really moving letter,
Speaker 1: and I wondered if you could read a little bit
Speaker 1: of that for us. Oh wow, um yeah, sure, okay
Speaker 1: Chapter twelve on Mother's Day. Okay, here we go. Dear Elvis,
Speaker 1: it's your mom's first Mother's Day, And to use the
Speaker 1: same words that your dad did in her birthday card,
Speaker 1: it is not the kind she wanted or deserves. But
Speaker 1: she woke up this morning as she always does, with
Speaker 1: a full heart and a smile. You're eleven months old today.
Speaker 1: You don't know or understand what is going on in
Speaker 1: the world right now, or what has happened to your family,
Speaker 1: and for that I am so grateful. One day you
Speaker 1: will be able to look back and know what happened
Speaker 1: when you were just a little baby boy are petite.
Speaker 1: You will be able to read about how things change
Speaker 1: so quickly, how our world stopped, and how slowly our
Speaker 1: earth healed from it. You will understand why we always
Speaker 1: linger a second longer now when we hug, and why
Speaker 1: we never miss a birthday, party, a wedding, or a holiday.
Speaker 1: You will know why your mom and uncle Todd and
Speaker 1: I are bonded in the most unbreakable way now. But
Speaker 1: there are some things she's not telling you in her letters.
Speaker 1: Things she won't come out and say herself. And so
Speaker 1: I'm writing you this one so that you will know, Elvis,
Speaker 1: you don't have a regular mom, you have a super mom.
Speaker 1: I can't get through this letter. Um. Right now, you're
Speaker 1: into everything. You destroy the perfectly clean house in a
Speaker 1: matter of seconds. You open every cabinet you shouldn't touch,
Speaker 1: and play with everything but your toys. You trying to
Speaker 1: take down paintings, topple tables, and splash in the toilet.
Speaker 1: Everything you pick up, you trying to put in your mouth,
Speaker 1: from dirty shoes to rocks to lemons that fall from
Speaker 1: the tree in the backyard. She never yells, She never frustrated,
Speaker 1: She never ever shouts. She looks at you with eyes
Speaker 1: that outpour admiration and laughs as you get into mischief, Elvis,
Speaker 1: she is a warrior. What has happened to your dad
Speaker 1: is sometimes impossible to believe so much so quickly, It
Speaker 1: feels to us like it can't be real. Your mom
Speaker 1: has dealt with more fear and pain and stress in
Speaker 1: the last six weeks than most people could ever endure
Speaker 1: in a lifetime. Keep going, No, that's good, Um, how
Speaker 1: did she close it? Um? She says that I have
Speaker 1: never seen someone gives someone else the kind of pure
Speaker 1: and selfless love that your mom gives you. You hit
Speaker 1: the jackpot kid getting her for a mom. I know,
Speaker 1: because I hit the jackpot too when I got her
Speaker 1: first sister. That's so beautiful and so nice. And now
Speaker 1: you know, I think about you, Amanda because she find
Speaker 1: yourself a single mom, which is really hard, I know.
Speaker 1: And how are you handling just being that person that
Speaker 1: you never imagined you'd be? I mean it's yeah, it's hard. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, you feel a lot of pressure to be
Speaker 1: like two people, you know, to give like as more
Speaker 1: than you possibly could give because he's missing half of
Speaker 1: what he should have. Um. There's pressure to provide and
Speaker 1: make sure that I can give him everything I possibly
Speaker 1: can in life. UM. And then there's like days where
Speaker 1: you're just really frustrated because I'm trying to like do
Speaker 1: emails and text people back and even just have a
Speaker 1: sip of coffee or take a shower, and he won't
Speaker 1: let you. Um, and you're just you know, fresh straight
Speaker 1: in and that's really hard because you're like, gosh, I
Speaker 1: just wish there was like somebody else here that could
Speaker 1: you know, his dad, that could be like come on, Elvis,
Speaker 1: like we're gonna do this so mom could go shower.
Speaker 1: That person isn't there, and you know, no one's you know,
Speaker 1: no one sees those times. You know, no one sees
Speaker 1: like those struggles where you're just like, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: but you like love your kids so much, it's never
Speaker 1: not about that. Um. But I have really great help.
Speaker 1: I have the best manny and nanny, and I have
Speaker 1: these friends that will literally do anything for me I have.
Speaker 1: I have really like the I'm so lucky to have
Speaker 1: these people in my life. And my brother lives in
Speaker 1: San Francisco. He'll come down any time I asked him.
Speaker 1: He's in a car, um driving the six hour drive
Speaker 1: to get down here and be with me and Elvis.
Speaker 1: I mean, he thinks of Elvis as a son. So
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky in that respect. But yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's hard. It's really hard being a single parent. Um.
Speaker 1: I mean, my heart goes out to any single parent
Speaker 1: out there. It's hard alone to be a parent. You know.
Speaker 1: Do you ever think about, like, dash, maybe I could
Speaker 1: open my heart to someone else or is that just
Speaker 1: something that you aren't allowing yourself to even think about.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe I'm asking you such a personal question.
Speaker 1: But I sort of feel like I can. Yeah, you can, Katie,
Speaker 1: I mean obviously you know I asked you this question
Speaker 1: when I when I talked to you when we first met.
Speaker 1: I think, um, because it's so crazy, Yes, I listen.
Speaker 1: I firmly believe that if Nick could have spoke on
Speaker 1: his went on his days that he was lost here,
Speaker 1: he would have looked at me and said, you better
Speaker 1: fall in love again. You better find a amazing man
Speaker 1: and somebody that loves Elvis as much as as much
Speaker 1: as I possibly, you know, as much as possible. Um.
Speaker 1: I would have said the same thing to him. So
Speaker 1: I know he would have said the same thing to
Speaker 1: me if he could have. I know he doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to be alone. UM. So yeah, I I love
Speaker 1: that idea. UM. I love having a companion. I love
Speaker 1: being married. I love having a husband. If that happens
Speaker 1: again in my life, I will be so grateful for it. UM.
Speaker 1: Not ready just yet. I you know, I'm sure like
Speaker 1: maybe i'll know. I don't know, Maybe I won't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think it necessarily is like a day you
Speaker 1: wake up and you're like, I'm ready to start dating. UM.
Speaker 1: I feel grateful that I I feel. I feel okay
Speaker 1: being alone, I feel okay being a single mother. I
Speaker 1: feel okay not thing anyone right now. So um, I
Speaker 1: think I'll just take it day by day and and see.
Speaker 1: But I hope that there's somebody out there for me.
Speaker 1: I hope. So I think there is. I know there is.
Speaker 1: Not that I'm a witch or anything, but you know,
Speaker 1: I have to tell you that was a beautiful moment.
Speaker 1: It's in the book. But gosh, my mother in law,
Speaker 1: Nick's mom, who she's a she's a warrior. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And she lost her husband, um three years ago. So
Speaker 1: she's lost her husband and then she lost her son.
Speaker 1: And one of the really tough days in the hospital
Speaker 1: where we didn't know if Nick was going to make it,
Speaker 1: we were outside eating lunch and she said to me,
Speaker 1: because she was Amanda, I want you to find somebody again.
Speaker 1: I want you to. You need to. You're you're going
Speaker 1: to find somebody again. I want you to. Our whole
Speaker 1: family wants you to. Okay, Like, don't you think that,
Speaker 1: like we're gonna be mad at you or be sad
Speaker 1: if you have a new life with somebody. You should
Speaker 1: have a new life with somebody, And I was like
Speaker 1: looking at her, and I was like, your son is
Speaker 1: in the hospital passing away, and you have enough strength
Speaker 1: and courage and love for me, um to sit here
Speaker 1: right now and tell me that. I mean, like, I
Speaker 1: don't know many mother in laws that would do that,
Speaker 1: to be honest, you know, I mean like, and I
Speaker 1: of course that day I was like, oh, Mom, you
Speaker 1: don't know and she was like, no, yes, you're gonna
Speaker 1: find somebody again. You're gonna you. I want you to
Speaker 1: get married again. I want you to have a life
Speaker 1: with somebody again. And Nick would two, Um, she's amazing, amazing. Well,
Speaker 1: I I love talking to I'm so happy. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy that I've gotten a chance to get to know you,
Speaker 1: and I know that you've made a lot of new
Speaker 1: friends through this terrible ordeal and the this unspeakable tragedy.
Speaker 1: Really and um, you know, I just want you to
Speaker 1: know how much I admire you, and how highly I
Speaker 1: think of you, and how much, uh you know, how
Speaker 1: much I too hope that you'll find happiness. But you've
Speaker 1: just been I think an exemplary role model for people,
Speaker 1: uh dealing with with this this kind of loss and
Speaker 1: this kind of grief. So I'm just really I feel
Speaker 1: it's a real privilege to know you well, Katie, I
Speaker 1: feel the same way about you. I feel like we're
Speaker 1: like long lost souls that were meant to be friends.
Speaker 1: As my mom would say. That makes it official. We're
Speaker 1: members of the Mutual Admiration Society. Yeah, thank you again
Speaker 1: to Amanda Cludes who, as you can tell, I think
Speaker 1: she's pretty terrific. Her book, written with her sister Anna,
Speaker 1: is called Live Your Life, My Story of Loving and
Speaker 1: Losing Nick Cordero. It's out now on the next installment
Speaker 1: of my summer book series. I think that this is
Speaker 1: the backbone of America. It is the dream of America
Speaker 1: embodied in my mother. She did it. Ursula Burns, the
Speaker 1: former Xerox CEO, on her extraordinary life, her trailblazing career,
Speaker 1: and her immigrant mother who inspired it all. That's next
Speaker 1: week on Next Question. Next Question with Katie Kurik is
Speaker 1: a production of My Heart Media and Katie Couric Media.
Speaker 1: The executive producers Army, Katie Curic and Courtney Litz. The
Speaker 1: supervising producer is Lauren Hansen. Associate producers Derek Clements, Adrianna Fasio,
Speaker 1: and to Emily Pinto. The show is edited and mixed
Speaker 1: by Derrick Clements. For more information about today's episode, or
Speaker 1: to sign up for my morning newsletter, wake Up Call,
Speaker 1: go to Katie correct dot com. You can also find
Speaker 1: me at Katie Currect on Instagram and all my social
Speaker 1: media channels. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows,