WEBVTT - Let it Go! 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:16.000 I got to say, oh, welcome back, friendos. It's parenting 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.360 and Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Noel and we have 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:26.080 been through it. The holidays we really had We had 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:32.239 some really epic holiday travel. I think this is the 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:38.360 first time we have flown over Christmas? Is this is 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:42.720 that true with kids? Now? This is the at least 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.920 the second time we've done it with two kids. Okay, well, 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:50.239 it feels like our flight times were much more in 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:54.720 the holiday time frame. Does that make sense? Nope, not 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.880 at all. You think we've been at the airport when 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:00.959 it's that busy. Oh, I see saying we've flown at 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.800 less typical times. Yeah. Well, with Britain in school, we're 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:08.360 really tied to everyone else's schedule now, right, so we 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:14.160 couldn't like head head there early. So we started our 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:18.039 trip very chaotically. Day of the flight with a nighttime flight. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:23.640 Day of the flight, Mayven throws up. We're it doesn't 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.479 seem like a stomach bug. She just didn't have a fever. 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:30.760 We're feeling it out. And then we discovered that one 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:34.280 of our children turned off our refrigerator. When did they 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.280 turn it off? How long had it been completely off? 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.000 No one knows for sure. I would guess at least 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:45.600 two days everything in the freezer was completely so we 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:47.600 just have to wear our whole fridge. And then we 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.240 were like thinking, okay, so she probably got sick because 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.240 she ate something bad from that fridge. And then during 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:57.480 thinking that, she barfed again, Yes, about five times in 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:00.640 an hour. Yeah, well probably, as I feel like she 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.760 kept eating. So that was also why I was like, 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.480 how sick can she be if she keeps wanting to eat? Yeah, 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.960 I had a feeling she wasn't really sick. Um, so 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.680 then she eats some things, doesn't throw up for a 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.520 few hours, We crossed our fingers and head to the 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:19.799 airport because well, we don't want to deal with re 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:23.960 origin air. You don't want to rebook a flight. It's expensive, 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.240 Like she can barf on the plane, she probably won't, 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.680 So get to the airport. Get and then before we 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.680 get to the airport, I go to check in on 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:41.440 my phone, only then to discover our five pm flight 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:46.280 had been changed months earlier to a seven pm flight, 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:50.760 and I somehow never got the notification because it went 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.880 to spam because he ordered through orbits, which I think 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:59.519 we should never do again. Um, so we we were 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:04.919 this is our driver was forty minutes early. Our drivers early. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:06.760 We just got in the car. We're getting onto the 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.480 highway and we realized we're actually heading to the airport 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.400 four and a half hours early. And half hours so 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:18.320 we get to LaGuardia and in front of the ticket counter, Maven, well, 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:22.040 first of they can't find our Our tickets aren't linked. 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:24.560 I did the thing in the machine. It only find me. 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:26.760 It didn't have the rest of the tickets attached to it. 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:28.040 So we had to go up and ask. And they 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.520 started looking at it and they're like, this is weird. 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.760 Hold on it clearly collected, you know, they type in 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:36.560 an impossible amount. They did that like a character in 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:40.400 a night anymore like. And then I look over and 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.640 you were with Mayven and something had happened. She's puking 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:48.560 all over the floor of the airport. Bright pink, bright 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:56.320 gatorade pink. And there we go. So we're four and 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.920 a half hours early for a flight. Our daughter's peaking 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.080 the airport. We managed to get it mostly cleaned up. 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.520 I still have a kid with puke breath. You you 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:10.040 take her to the bathroom while you're in the bathroom. 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.800 She this woman is still like I don't understand this, 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.880 and she's like, hey, Ted and call someone over and 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:18.599 he's like, well, I don't don't know. Maybe it's something 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.120 you missed. I'm like, I don't know, we don't they 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.640 don't have our flight. So finally she goes, well, I 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:29.240 don't know why, but here's four first class tickets. And 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.160 then you showed back up and I said, guess what, 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.520 everything's fine. So then we have first class tickets, which 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:38.240 is amazing because we get wave through security pretty quickly. 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:41.279 With the barfiet girl girl, it was like it really 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:44.000 turned around at that moment. And then we went and 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:48.800 sat down at a restaurant, got some food. Very few 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.560 sit down restaurant options in this Lagartia terminal, which is 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:56.599 I think annoying when you have kids, I mean, but anyway, 0:04:56.800 --> 0:05:02.160 it's a brand new terminal I LaGuardia, which was another 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:06.720 godsend because some of those terminals. So they ended up 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:11.159 having a really good kids play area where they have 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:14.920 a screen where the kids they can go on one 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.240 of these iPads and type in the name that they 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:21.720 want their airplane or helicopter, design an aircraft and then 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:24.520 write their name on it. Yeah. So then it takes 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:29.520 off on this large, huge screen on the public as 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:34.000 could be screen. So brands there and he names about 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:37.760 ten planes or helicopters with his name, and then other 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:42.320 kids start showing up and the brilliant idea that Brand 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.239 gets a brilliant idea to name one of the planes poop. 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:50.279 And then all the kids are just naming well they'll 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:53.720 first of all, Brand wrote poop and he goes daddy 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:55.080 and I look at him and I gave him a 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.599 big old we don't do that, and I sort of 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:02.000 scolded him in front of the kids and this, and 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:06.400 he was suddenly so embarrassed that he did that. And 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.279 this girl, there were these two sisters that were much 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:15.400 older than him, only ten nine. One of them was 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:22.800 but the the eleven year old heard me scold him, 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:24.719 and he was like put his head down like he 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.320 was ashamed. And then he turns to her and she 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:29.080 just puts her finger up in the air and just 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:32.440 like wags it back and forth. And I was like, hey, 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:36.599 let me parent here. But then those girls go on 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:41.480 to name the airplanes all of these obscene things. It 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.760 was like butthole, but hole was the first one there's 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.560 a few butt holes. There's a lot of blank hole, 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:54.960 and then somebody escalated it to something with ass in it. No, 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:59.680 it was funnier than that. They were actually really funny 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:04.320 suck ass. Yeah, it was a lot of things like 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.440 that that I hadn't heard since like the nineties, and 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:09.160 I was like, the kids still say these things suck 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.200 as No, but it would be like butt face. Like 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:16.200 it was just like all these like sort of like 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:21.040 older brother insults from like a movie. Yeah. Then these 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.760 there's these older boys showed up and this one kid 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.960 just totally by himself, not smiling or giggling at all, 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.160 just walks up it's like this, this this, and just 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:34.960 writes like fuck hole. Oh yeah, Well we were at 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:38.240 the airport for a very long time watching this screen, 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:42.960 so we saw everyone's take. But he wrote the most 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.160 vulgar thing and they just walked away like it was 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:48.000 you know, it's just like Tuesday, Like you didn't do 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.960 that as a kid. I mean, we've all heard the 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:54.560 story where I wrote Peter on the ladder. Okay, but 0:07:54.720 --> 0:08:00.760 so Bran was eating this up. He's never been were entertained. 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:03.080 He like I was hanging out with all the kids 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.400 who showed up. He was like an uncle at a bar. 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.560 He was like, Hey, what are you running on the 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.120 air plane? What's going on over here? Hey, welcome to 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.680 the play area. I'm the mayor, and threw about ten 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.200 rotations of kids. You feel like putting his arm around 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.280 some kids shoulder and whispering in his ear and feel 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.880 like I put poop on the plane. No. Well, he 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:25.880 he started telling other kids to write poop because I 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:29.240 told him he couldn't. And at one point He's like, 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.480 it's not fair. They can write poop but I can't 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:35.360 write poop. And I'm like, well, I'm not their dad, 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:39.079 I'm your dad. So then, anyway, after nine million years, 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:45.040 we boarded our first class plane and it was you know, 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.320 we got that free drink as fast as possible, and 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:53.280 then um, I got a double. I didn't ask her, 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.920 but she gave it to me. I had a confusing 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.320 interaction with her because I was trying to ask what 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:02.280 alcohol they had and it was not a great airline 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:09.120 and they did not have options. But um, she really 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:14.680 because she she listed at least three whiskey options before 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:16.240 I said I'll take that one. I don't know. There 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:19.000 could have been okay. Well, when I was asking her things, 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:20.280 I was like what do you have? And she was 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.600 like wine and I was like, um, what kind of one? 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.480 And she was like white wine, red wine. She did 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.959 not want to help me. She was flirting with me. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:32.400 She's like, did you notice I gave you a double? 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:36.640 It's okay, that makes sense because when the um pilots 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.840 got in, she was super chatty and like flirty, and 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.640 then like they had like you know how sometimes there's 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.360 a pilot on the plane who's not like not the 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:47.800 cool one, not flying the planet, Like there's like a 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:52.600 third guy who was like the third guy, and he 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:57.080 was like, either can I talk? I need to know 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.840 that the role is. So I think he was either 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.960 it is like an extra pilot who was taking this 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.760 flight to get back home, or he was like observing, 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:10.280 but he was like up there and she was like, oh, 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:14.440 James James Bond like she had she had like she 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.840 had never met him before. But she was just like 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.320 trying to be really flirty and it was just like 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.800 sort of sad, like I was like, why are you 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:27.640 She she was a little weird. She'd make these just 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:31.640 sort of stern jokes and I was like I think 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:38.040 you're joking anyway. May then passed out almost immediately upon takeoff, 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:42.320 which was amazing, and there was no plan pukes and 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:47.720 we got there quickly. Um. I could just say. We 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:55.640 bought these compact car seat boost booster things that you 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:57.160 can fold up and I can put both of them 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.760 in my backpack, and they make traveling with kids so 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:07.160 great because some lift drive you know ride what are 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:11.040 they called app uber lift, They won't pick you up 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.760 if you don't have car seats. Yeah, those car seats 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.640 are great. Um. And then coming home we had sort 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:21.960 of a slightly chaotic airport experience all over again. That 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.880 was the most packed I've seen an airport at a 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.880 don't care our tickets. Once again, we're not connected, so 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:31.040 we had to stand in the bag check line. We 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:32.680 checked our bags, and then we had to get in 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:34.839 the assistance line to get it because we couldn't get 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.240 the kids tickets. And then we had to get in 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.079 the security line and we were not going to make 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:42.520 it until somebody whisked us away to the family line. 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:47.439 Also while we're standing in just these three eternally long lines. 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:51.240 Towards the end of it, oh, I was like starting 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.760 I didn't eat breakfast because I have this thing where 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.160 I have to take my pill and then I can't 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.760 eat for a half hour. So then as we're standing 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.560 in like security for eight thousand years, started to hit 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.000 me that I was like, oh my god, I have 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.200 like super low blood sugar and now I'm suddenly going 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:11.200 to be like deadweight in this stressful situation. And I 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.280 realized I had a cookie in my bag and shoved 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.680 it in my mouth so fast, and it was I 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.360 was so glad I had it. I'm more glad you 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:25.880 had it. And then Maven touched her ear and her 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:29.960 ears started bleeding a lot. She like scratched her ear 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:32.880 by accident, and she was like stressed out about that. 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.839 And then thank god, once again an angel situation where 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.000 a man pulled us out of security and he was like, 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.199 you guys got to go up in the family line. 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:47.120 His name was Mark. Yeah, So once again it turned 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.839 around and we survived and we arrived at the gate 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:53.120 as the final group was being called, and so we 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:56.600 got straightened lines straight toward seats, and it was sort 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.199 of best case scenario in the opposite direction where we 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:03.520 were there sit on short forever. Yeah, it all worked 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:09.120 out and so now you can't see you know, the 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:14.240 path that's being made for you. You gotta drive forward 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:18.520 by looking in the rear view mirror. Yeah, go see 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.200 Frozen two and then you'll get it. We just saw 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:25.320 Frozen too. Okay, boy, when we should do a separate 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:29.000 when we're Frozen too, I just say that horse is peak, 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:34.520 little girl Naven fantasy. Um, so where are we now, Beth? 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.880 We're we're back home, but we're not. I know, We're 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.600 in a We're in a weird limbo. We're in an 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:45.440 airbnb inner town while our bathroom continues to be renovated. 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:51.320 And it's nice. It's it's such a weird everything's weird. 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:53.640 I was stressed out at first because we don't have 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.240 all of our stuff with us, and it's like we're 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.760 just like there's we keep thinking of things we don't 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:03.600 have of but there is a lot of room in 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:07.480 this house, and it's like we're in a three bedroom house. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:13.600 Our airbnb is significantly bigger than our actual apartment, but 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:17.720 it was the closest thing. And boy, and now you 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.200 don't have work this week, and I'm sort of working, 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.880 and so we're all just on this little vacation with 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.720 just us in this big empty house. I can't remember 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.720 the last time we like actually had like a vacation 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.480 like at in a home like scenario, just the family 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:37.960 where we don't have a lot of things to do, 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.720 we have nothing to do. Yeah, it's great, Okay. So 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:45.520 the hardest part was so I went over to our 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:52.400 apartment and it is sealed every door, every entryway. They 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.640 have done a very thorough job of putting plastic up 0:14:56.560 --> 0:15:00.640 and painters tape on the pater's tape the crack of 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:05.400 all four you know, sides of the door so no 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.480 dust can get anywhere. And then there's these giant sheets 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:12.160 of plastic in front of everything, so it's double sealed. 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:13.840 So I stopped though, I'm like, I'm gonna grab a 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.760 couple of things, and you can't get in anything without 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.360 breaking this seal and then taping it back up. So 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.480 I had to get the microphones. So we're recording in 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:30.440 this Airbnb and my mic stand broke, and so Beth 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:37.280 is happening, like we just there's so many weird accidents 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.600 this week. But I just need to paint a picture 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:43.640 of what you look like right now. Is a lazy boy, 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:48.080 A leather lazy boy with a broken mic stand on 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.160 a little side table next to her, and she's just 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:55.960 like craning her neck over it to speak, And how 0:15:56.000 --> 0:16:01.400 are you comfortable? How's it going? I'm okay, I'm I 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.920 have to cran my neck in a weird way to 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:10.480 hit this microphone. But me too, my neck hurts well, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:16.480 but let it go, Let go. If I set up straight, 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:20.280 I sound like this. Oh boy, that if the sound 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.000 is all terrible, you know what, when has it ever 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:31.960 been good? When has anything ever been good? Okay? Um, 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:34.960 so we need to wrap. And the last thing I 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.560 want to say is we have three bedrooms. So I 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:41.200 put our kids in separate bedrooms last night and they 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:44.960 were all excited. Mayven was super excited and Britain was 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:49.480 pretending to be excited. Um. And then tonight and put 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:53.640 then the bed and Brint just goes, um, do you 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:56.720 think maybe could sleep in this room? I'm too scared 0:16:56.800 --> 0:17:00.840 to be alone. And it was really genuine and adorable, 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:07.480 and Maven was happy to oblige. They really love each other, right, right? 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.040 What did she? Would you tell them? What they said 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:14.960 about marriage? So Brenda did his thing again where he 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.359 was like, you know, boys can marry boys and girls 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:21.040 can marry girls. And I was like, well he said 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.359 that before. He's like he's kind of latched onto it 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.199 now after he fought it so hard and then he 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.800 realized that it was true. Now he's like, this is 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.560 a fact I like to share um. And so he 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:35.200 was saying that, and I was like, yeah, are you're 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.120 gonna marry a boy or a girl? And he was like, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.959 I'm gonna marry a girl. And then and then he 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:45.520 was like, maybe I'll marry Maven And I was like, well, 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:47.960 you can't marry Maven. And she's standing right there and 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.239 she was like they were both like fighting for it, 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.640 and they're just like, yes we can. Yeah. She was like, 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:58.520 I was like, you you're not. Brothers and sisters are 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.560 not allowed to marry each other. And even was like, 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.760 we can pretend marry each other. Like they were both 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.080 just fair. And then Burne was like, no, we'll really 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.480 marry each other like and he was very it took 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.560 him a long time. You can't tell that kid what 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:17.080 to do, but they're committed. I can see why though, 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:21.439 Like we're talking, honestly, they're compatible. When I was telling 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:24.800 May even recently that like she might someday have her 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:28.600 own bedroom. She was like, you and Daddy will get 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:32.840 separate bedrooms too, And I was like, yeah in her mind, 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.240 like we share a bedroom, they share a bedroom. Like 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:39.560 it's not it's unclear what's happening. Oh yeah, Like we're 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.640 the adult married people, so they must be the kid 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:48.720 married couple. Yeah they're inseparable. Huh, Well here's two, here's 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.480 sure your union. That was a weird thing to say. 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.119 And I got a little tiny baby glass of whiskey 0:18:56.160 --> 0:19:01.040 and I keep wanting to cheers with it. Cheers, cheers, 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:15.320 and now it's time for it. Did you know this 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.080 is where we share something that we learned about parenting 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:25.520 from a place. Okay, so this article is from mother Jones. 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.399 It's called what if everything you knew about discipline and 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.720 kids was wrong? I want to click on that. Yeah, 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:36.560 and it's um an article describing sort of the research 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:41.960 and methods of this. I believe psycho psychologist Dr Green, 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:49.160 doctor um and he has sort of pioneered these techniques 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:52.679 where rather than punishing children, the children who are the 0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:57.080 most acting out in school situations, you spend more time 0:19:57.119 --> 0:20:01.960 talking it out with those children and sort of helping them, 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:04.879 how to helping them figure out how to deal with 0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:07.680 situations that are stressing them out. And so he's talking 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:12.679 about how there's different, uh, you know, learning disabilities or 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:18.640 just issues children could be having where they are not ah, 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:20.840 their brain is not developing at the same rate as 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:25.760 other kids. And they're talking specifically about the prefrontal cortex. 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:27.880 Sorry I'm trying to remember this all from memory, but 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:33.199 umntal cortex. But the brain was involved, the front of 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:36.560 your brain, which processes your executive function, and some kids 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:40.440 it develops later than others. And so they're talking about 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:42.280 how do we deal with the kid who can't sit 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:45.960 still in class, or who acts out, or who is 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:49.160 constantly doing this thing. It's like there's that He used 0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:52.600 an analogy that says like, if a kid got a 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.760 D on the spelling test, you wouldn't punish them. You 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:59.800 would try to talk through why that happened and how 0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:02.360 you could fix that. But when when kids are having 0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:07.280 certain emotional issues, the system sometimes will continue to punish 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:10.960 them even though they don't know how to not do 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:14.479 that thing. You're punishing the disease, the symptoms instead of 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.159 trying to cure the disease right, And so basically the 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:22.200 technique is just unfortunately for teachers who have their hands 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:27.280 very full, the solution with these kids is to spend 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:29.840 time talking it through with them and letting them cool down. 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:32.720 And you know, yeah, it's basically it's meeting the child's 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:37.960 needs and and solving problems instead of trying to control behavior. Yeah, 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:41.560 and trying to talk through how they'll behave the next time. 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:45.160 What's another solution for how they could seek help if 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:49.040 they're feeling themselves getting close to that situation again or 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:52.399 you know, yeah, it's about putting the problem solving into 0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:57.840 their hands. And I've had moments with with Brin uh 0:21:57.920 --> 0:22:00.400 where I'm like, oh, yeah, this does fit in more 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:05.800 successful times of dealing with Brin while he's you know, 0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:09.239 freaking out um that others because they're when I just 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:13.320 put up the wall of no, like you're being punished. 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:19.120 It does feel like I might get a result that's 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:22.120 in the short term desirable, like I'll stop doing a thing, 0:22:23.119 --> 0:22:27.640 But it does feel like I'm actually reinforcing a pattern 0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:31.439 of behavior instead of teaching him to recognize how we 0:22:31.560 --> 0:22:36.679 got here. So recently he's had like he had a 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:39.479 bit of a meltdown on the grocery store, and so 0:22:39.520 --> 0:22:41.560 I had to sort of grab him and take him outside. 0:22:42.000 --> 0:22:44.439 And I had a successful cool down with him because 0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:48.840 one I grabbed him and like, obviously that's an aggressive thing. 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:51.439 I had to get him out, and he's screaming and kicking, 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:56.520 but I was just showing, you know, not showing him 0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:59.000 any emotion or showing that I'm upset or anything. I'm 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.000 just gonna, Okay, we're gonna go cool down. And we 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:04.359 go outside and we walk over to the edge of 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:08.560 the parking lot and then I just let him be 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:12.040 there and I just and he was like so upset, 0:23:12.119 --> 0:23:14.920 and he was just like kicking the fence and this, 0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.639 and you're here. And sometimes in that trying to I 0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:21.600 try to ignore him, but I too aggressively ignore him, 0:23:21.800 --> 0:23:24.720 Like I'll ignore him and I'm clearly making a point 0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:27.880 to not look at him, and I feel like that 0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:30.680 blows up in my face because then he's defiant with it. 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:33.600 And so instead I just stayed with him and I 0:23:33.600 --> 0:23:35.480 looked at him, and I tried to just be where 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:38.600 he was, and I was like, you should kick this part, 0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:41.800 come kick it over here. He's kicking the fence yeah, well, 0:23:41.840 --> 0:23:44.800 that's like one of these examples in the article is 0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:48.320 this this woman who is a teaching aid at a 0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:51.040 school who takes one of the kids over to the 0:23:51.119 --> 0:23:54.240 stream to throw rocks at the stream while he's calming down. 0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:59.399 And I'm like, what a beautiful, uh scene. Imagine if 0:23:59.440 --> 0:24:01.560 all of our kids has had like that level of 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:04.280 quality of education all the time, where someone is like, 0:24:04.960 --> 0:24:09.080 let me help you deal with these emotions. Yeah. I 0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:11.680 mean it's not always it's a boy. It's it makes 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:13.440 it sounds simpler than it is. And I'm sure there's 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:15.840 a I've been that teacher where you just have to 0:24:15.920 --> 0:24:19.479 deal like you're trying to You're trying to deal with 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:22.120 a whole classroom full of kids and then there's one 0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:24.640 causing a problem. You don't have that room to sort 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:26.880 of like meet them where they are. Yeah, they need 0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:29.879 a smaller teacher to kid ra or Yeah. But I 0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:32.320 also really like they talked about in some schools who 0:24:32.320 --> 0:24:37.360 have really taken on this philosophy, they've actually started dividing 0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:42.600 their room into and there's this sort of recharge area, 0:24:43.400 --> 0:24:46.840 um and a more focused area as opposed that like, well, okay, 0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:50.200 it's not a like punishment. It's like this person needs 0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:53.399 to go here for a second. And yeah, it sounded 0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:55.600 sort of like what Brent's teacher was saying about. She 0:24:55.680 --> 0:24:57.919 has a little corner where there's like a basket of 0:24:57.960 --> 0:25:00.440