Speaker 1: I got to say, oh, welcome back, friendos. It's parenting
Speaker 1: and Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Noel and we have
Speaker 1: been through it. The holidays we really had We had
Speaker 1: some really epic holiday travel. I think this is the
Speaker 1: first time we have flown over Christmas? Is this is
Speaker 1: that true with kids? Now? This is the at least
Speaker 1: the second time we've done it with two kids. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: it feels like our flight times were much more in
Speaker 1: the holiday time frame. Does that make sense? Nope, not
Speaker 1: at all. You think we've been at the airport when
Speaker 1: it's that busy. Oh, I see saying we've flown at
Speaker 1: less typical times. Yeah. Well, with Britain in school, we're
Speaker 1: really tied to everyone else's schedule now, right, so we
Speaker 1: couldn't like head head there early. So we started our
Speaker 1: trip very chaotically. Day of the flight with a nighttime flight.
Speaker 1: Day of the flight, Mayven throws up. We're it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like a stomach bug. She just didn't have a fever.
Speaker 1: We're feeling it out. And then we discovered that one
Speaker 1: of our children turned off our refrigerator. When did they
Speaker 1: turn it off? How long had it been completely off?
Speaker 1: No one knows for sure. I would guess at least
Speaker 1: two days everything in the freezer was completely so we
Speaker 1: just have to wear our whole fridge. And then we
Speaker 1: were like thinking, okay, so she probably got sick because
Speaker 1: she ate something bad from that fridge. And then during
Speaker 1: thinking that, she barfed again, Yes, about five times in
Speaker 1: an hour. Yeah, well probably, as I feel like she
Speaker 1: kept eating. So that was also why I was like,
Speaker 1: how sick can she be if she keeps wanting to eat? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had a feeling she wasn't really sick. Um, so
Speaker 1: then she eats some things, doesn't throw up for a
Speaker 1: few hours, We crossed our fingers and head to the
Speaker 1: airport because well, we don't want to deal with re
Speaker 1: origin air. You don't want to rebook a flight. It's expensive,
Speaker 1: Like she can barf on the plane, she probably won't,
Speaker 1: So get to the airport. Get and then before we
Speaker 1: get to the airport, I go to check in on
Speaker 1: my phone, only then to discover our five pm flight
Speaker 1: had been changed months earlier to a seven pm flight,
Speaker 1: and I somehow never got the notification because it went
Speaker 1: to spam because he ordered through orbits, which I think
Speaker 1: we should never do again. Um, so we we were
Speaker 1: this is our driver was forty minutes early. Our drivers early.
Speaker 1: We just got in the car. We're getting onto the
Speaker 1: highway and we realized we're actually heading to the airport
Speaker 1: four and a half hours early. And half hours so
Speaker 1: we get to LaGuardia and in front of the ticket counter, Maven, well,
Speaker 1: first of they can't find our Our tickets aren't linked.
Speaker 1: I did the thing in the machine. It only find me.
Speaker 1: It didn't have the rest of the tickets attached to it.
Speaker 1: So we had to go up and ask. And they
Speaker 1: started looking at it and they're like, this is weird.
Speaker 1: Hold on it clearly collected, you know, they type in
Speaker 1: an impossible amount. They did that like a character in
Speaker 1: a night anymore like. And then I look over and
Speaker 1: you were with Mayven and something had happened. She's puking
Speaker 1: all over the floor of the airport. Bright pink, bright
Speaker 1: gatorade pink. And there we go. So we're four and
Speaker 1: a half hours early for a flight. Our daughter's peaking
Speaker 1: the airport. We managed to get it mostly cleaned up.
Speaker 1: I still have a kid with puke breath. You you
Speaker 1: take her to the bathroom while you're in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: She this woman is still like I don't understand this,
Speaker 1: and she's like, hey, Ted and call someone over and
Speaker 1: he's like, well, I don't don't know. Maybe it's something
Speaker 1: you missed. I'm like, I don't know, we don't they
Speaker 1: don't have our flight. So finally she goes, well, I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but here's four first class tickets. And
Speaker 1: then you showed back up and I said, guess what,
Speaker 1: everything's fine. So then we have first class tickets, which
Speaker 1: is amazing because we get wave through security pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: With the barfiet girl girl, it was like it really
Speaker 1: turned around at that moment. And then we went and
Speaker 1: sat down at a restaurant, got some food. Very few
Speaker 1: sit down restaurant options in this Lagartia terminal, which is
Speaker 1: I think annoying when you have kids, I mean, but anyway,
Speaker 1: it's a brand new terminal I LaGuardia, which was another
Speaker 1: godsend because some of those terminals. So they ended up
Speaker 1: having a really good kids play area where they have
Speaker 1: a screen where the kids they can go on one
Speaker 1: of these iPads and type in the name that they
Speaker 1: want their airplane or helicopter, design an aircraft and then
Speaker 1: write their name on it. Yeah. So then it takes
Speaker 1: off on this large, huge screen on the public as
Speaker 1: could be screen. So brands there and he names about
Speaker 1: ten planes or helicopters with his name, and then other
Speaker 1: kids start showing up and the brilliant idea that Brand
Speaker 1: gets a brilliant idea to name one of the planes poop.
Speaker 1: And then all the kids are just naming well they'll
Speaker 1: first of all, Brand wrote poop and he goes daddy
Speaker 1: and I look at him and I gave him a
Speaker 1: big old we don't do that, and I sort of
Speaker 1: scolded him in front of the kids and this, and
Speaker 1: he was suddenly so embarrassed that he did that. And
Speaker 1: this girl, there were these two sisters that were much
Speaker 1: older than him, only ten nine. One of them was
Speaker 1: but the the eleven year old heard me scold him,
Speaker 1: and he was like put his head down like he
Speaker 1: was ashamed. And then he turns to her and she
Speaker 1: just puts her finger up in the air and just
Speaker 1: like wags it back and forth. And I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: let me parent here. But then those girls go on
Speaker 1: to name the airplanes all of these obscene things. It
Speaker 1: was like butthole, but hole was the first one there's
Speaker 1: a few butt holes. There's a lot of blank hole,
Speaker 1: and then somebody escalated it to something with ass in it. No,
Speaker 1: it was funnier than that. They were actually really funny
Speaker 1: suck ass. Yeah, it was a lot of things like
Speaker 1: that that I hadn't heard since like the nineties, and
Speaker 1: I was like, the kids still say these things suck
Speaker 1: as No, but it would be like butt face. Like
Speaker 1: it was just like all these like sort of like
Speaker 1: older brother insults from like a movie. Yeah. Then these
Speaker 1: there's these older boys showed up and this one kid
Speaker 1: just totally by himself, not smiling or giggling at all,
Speaker 1: just walks up it's like this, this this, and just
Speaker 1: writes like fuck hole. Oh yeah, Well we were at
Speaker 1: the airport for a very long time watching this screen,
Speaker 1: so we saw everyone's take. But he wrote the most
Speaker 1: vulgar thing and they just walked away like it was
Speaker 1: you know, it's just like Tuesday, Like you didn't do
Speaker 1: that as a kid. I mean, we've all heard the
Speaker 1: story where I wrote Peter on the ladder. Okay, but
Speaker 1: so Bran was eating this up. He's never been were entertained.
Speaker 1: He like I was hanging out with all the kids
Speaker 1: who showed up. He was like an uncle at a bar.
Speaker 1: He was like, Hey, what are you running on the
Speaker 1: air plane? What's going on over here? Hey, welcome to
Speaker 1: the play area. I'm the mayor, and threw about ten
Speaker 1: rotations of kids. You feel like putting his arm around
Speaker 1: some kids shoulder and whispering in his ear and feel
Speaker 1: like I put poop on the plane. No. Well, he
Speaker 1: he started telling other kids to write poop because I
Speaker 1: told him he couldn't. And at one point He's like,
Speaker 1: it's not fair. They can write poop but I can't
Speaker 1: write poop. And I'm like, well, I'm not their dad,
Speaker 1: I'm your dad. So then, anyway, after nine million years,
Speaker 1: we boarded our first class plane and it was you know,
Speaker 1: we got that free drink as fast as possible, and
Speaker 1: then um, I got a double. I didn't ask her,
Speaker 1: but she gave it to me. I had a confusing
Speaker 1: interaction with her because I was trying to ask what
Speaker 1: alcohol they had and it was not a great airline
Speaker 1: and they did not have options. But um, she really
Speaker 1: because she she listed at least three whiskey options before
Speaker 1: I said I'll take that one. I don't know. There
Speaker 1: could have been okay. Well, when I was asking her things,
Speaker 1: I was like what do you have? And she was
Speaker 1: like wine and I was like, um, what kind of one?
Speaker 1: And she was like white wine, red wine. She did
Speaker 1: not want to help me. She was flirting with me.
Speaker 1: She's like, did you notice I gave you a double?
Speaker 1: It's okay, that makes sense because when the um pilots
Speaker 1: got in, she was super chatty and like flirty, and
Speaker 1: then like they had like you know how sometimes there's
Speaker 1: a pilot on the plane who's not like not the
Speaker 1: cool one, not flying the planet, Like there's like a
Speaker 1: third guy who was like the third guy, and he
Speaker 1: was like, either can I talk? I need to know
Speaker 1: that the role is. So I think he was either
Speaker 1: it is like an extra pilot who was taking this
Speaker 1: flight to get back home, or he was like observing,
Speaker 1: but he was like up there and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: James James Bond like she had she had like she
Speaker 1: had never met him before. But she was just like
Speaker 1: trying to be really flirty and it was just like
Speaker 1: sort of sad, like I was like, why are you
Speaker 1: She she was a little weird. She'd make these just
Speaker 1: sort of stern jokes and I was like I think
Speaker 1: you're joking anyway. May then passed out almost immediately upon takeoff,
Speaker 1: which was amazing, and there was no plan pukes and
Speaker 1: we got there quickly. Um. I could just say. We
Speaker 1: bought these compact car seat boost booster things that you
Speaker 1: can fold up and I can put both of them
Speaker 1: in my backpack, and they make traveling with kids so
Speaker 1: great because some lift drive you know ride what are
Speaker 1: they called app uber lift, They won't pick you up
Speaker 1: if you don't have car seats. Yeah, those car seats
Speaker 1: are great. Um. And then coming home we had sort
Speaker 1: of a slightly chaotic airport experience all over again. That
Speaker 1: was the most packed I've seen an airport at a
Speaker 1: don't care our tickets. Once again, we're not connected, so
Speaker 1: we had to stand in the bag check line. We
Speaker 1: checked our bags, and then we had to get in
Speaker 1: the assistance line to get it because we couldn't get
Speaker 1: the kids tickets. And then we had to get in
Speaker 1: the security line and we were not going to make
Speaker 1: it until somebody whisked us away to the family line.
Speaker 1: Also while we're standing in just these three eternally long lines.
Speaker 1: Towards the end of it, oh, I was like starting
Speaker 1: I didn't eat breakfast because I have this thing where
Speaker 1: I have to take my pill and then I can't
Speaker 1: eat for a half hour. So then as we're standing
Speaker 1: in like security for eight thousand years, started to hit
Speaker 1: me that I was like, oh my god, I have
Speaker 1: like super low blood sugar and now I'm suddenly going
Speaker 1: to be like deadweight in this stressful situation. And I
Speaker 1: realized I had a cookie in my bag and shoved
Speaker 1: it in my mouth so fast, and it was I
Speaker 1: was so glad I had it. I'm more glad you
Speaker 1: had it. And then Maven touched her ear and her
Speaker 1: ears started bleeding a lot. She like scratched her ear
Speaker 1: by accident, and she was like stressed out about that.
Speaker 1: And then thank god, once again an angel situation where
Speaker 1: a man pulled us out of security and he was like,
Speaker 1: you guys got to go up in the family line.
Speaker 1: His name was Mark. Yeah, So once again it turned
Speaker 1: around and we survived and we arrived at the gate
Speaker 1: as the final group was being called, and so we
Speaker 1: got straightened lines straight toward seats, and it was sort
Speaker 1: of best case scenario in the opposite direction where we
Speaker 1: were there sit on short forever. Yeah, it all worked
Speaker 1: out and so now you can't see you know, the
Speaker 1: path that's being made for you. You gotta drive forward
Speaker 1: by looking in the rear view mirror. Yeah, go see
Speaker 1: Frozen two and then you'll get it. We just saw
Speaker 1: Frozen too. Okay, boy, when we should do a separate
Speaker 1: when we're Frozen too, I just say that horse is peak,
Speaker 1: little girl Naven fantasy. Um, so where are we now, Beth?
Speaker 1: We're we're back home, but we're not. I know, We're
Speaker 1: in a We're in a weird limbo. We're in an
Speaker 1: airbnb inner town while our bathroom continues to be renovated.
Speaker 1: And it's nice. It's it's such a weird everything's weird.
Speaker 1: I was stressed out at first because we don't have
Speaker 1: all of our stuff with us, and it's like we're
Speaker 1: just like there's we keep thinking of things we don't
Speaker 1: have of but there is a lot of room in
Speaker 1: this house, and it's like we're in a three bedroom house.
Speaker 1: Our airbnb is significantly bigger than our actual apartment, but
Speaker 1: it was the closest thing. And boy, and now you
Speaker 1: don't have work this week, and I'm sort of working,
Speaker 1: and so we're all just on this little vacation with
Speaker 1: just us in this big empty house. I can't remember
Speaker 1: the last time we like actually had like a vacation
Speaker 1: like at in a home like scenario, just the family
Speaker 1: where we don't have a lot of things to do,
Speaker 1: we have nothing to do. Yeah, it's great, Okay. So
Speaker 1: the hardest part was so I went over to our
Speaker 1: apartment and it is sealed every door, every entryway. They
Speaker 1: have done a very thorough job of putting plastic up
Speaker 1: and painters tape on the pater's tape the crack of
Speaker 1: all four you know, sides of the door so no
Speaker 1: dust can get anywhere. And then there's these giant sheets
Speaker 1: of plastic in front of everything, so it's double sealed.
Speaker 1: So I stopped though, I'm like, I'm gonna grab a
Speaker 1: couple of things, and you can't get in anything without
Speaker 1: breaking this seal and then taping it back up. So
Speaker 1: I had to get the microphones. So we're recording in
Speaker 1: this Airbnb and my mic stand broke, and so Beth
Speaker 1: is happening, like we just there's so many weird accidents
Speaker 1: this week. But I just need to paint a picture
Speaker 1: of what you look like right now. Is a lazy boy,
Speaker 1: A leather lazy boy with a broken mic stand on
Speaker 1: a little side table next to her, and she's just
Speaker 1: like craning her neck over it to speak, And how
Speaker 1: are you comfortable? How's it going? I'm okay, I'm I
Speaker 1: have to cran my neck in a weird way to
Speaker 1: hit this microphone. But me too, my neck hurts well,
Speaker 1: but let it go, Let go. If I set up straight,
Speaker 1: I sound like this. Oh boy, that if the sound
Speaker 1: is all terrible, you know what, when has it ever
Speaker 1: been good? When has anything ever been good? Okay? Um,
Speaker 1: so we need to wrap. And the last thing I
Speaker 1: want to say is we have three bedrooms. So I
Speaker 1: put our kids in separate bedrooms last night and they
Speaker 1: were all excited. Mayven was super excited and Britain was
Speaker 1: pretending to be excited. Um. And then tonight and put
Speaker 1: then the bed and Brint just goes, um, do you
Speaker 1: think maybe could sleep in this room? I'm too scared
Speaker 1: to be alone. And it was really genuine and adorable,
Speaker 1: and Maven was happy to oblige. They really love each other, right, right?
Speaker 1: What did she? Would you tell them? What they said
Speaker 1: about marriage? So Brenda did his thing again where he
Speaker 1: was like, you know, boys can marry boys and girls
Speaker 1: can marry girls. And I was like, well he said
Speaker 1: that before. He's like he's kind of latched onto it
Speaker 1: now after he fought it so hard and then he
Speaker 1: realized that it was true. Now he's like, this is
Speaker 1: a fact I like to share um. And so he
Speaker 1: was saying that, and I was like, yeah, are you're
Speaker 1: gonna marry a boy or a girl? And he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna marry a girl. And then and then he
Speaker 1: was like, maybe I'll marry Maven And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you can't marry Maven. And she's standing right there and
Speaker 1: she was like they were both like fighting for it,
Speaker 1: and they're just like, yes we can. Yeah. She was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, you you're not. Brothers and sisters are
Speaker 1: not allowed to marry each other. And even was like,
Speaker 1: we can pretend marry each other. Like they were both
Speaker 1: just fair. And then Burne was like, no, we'll really
Speaker 1: marry each other like and he was very it took
Speaker 1: him a long time. You can't tell that kid what
Speaker 1: to do, but they're committed. I can see why though,
Speaker 1: Like we're talking, honestly, they're compatible. When I was telling
Speaker 1: May even recently that like she might someday have her
Speaker 1: own bedroom. She was like, you and Daddy will get
Speaker 1: separate bedrooms too, And I was like, yeah in her mind,
Speaker 1: like we share a bedroom, they share a bedroom. Like
Speaker 1: it's not it's unclear what's happening. Oh yeah, Like we're
Speaker 1: the adult married people, so they must be the kid
Speaker 1: married couple. Yeah they're inseparable. Huh, Well here's two, here's
Speaker 1: sure your union. That was a weird thing to say.
Speaker 1: And I got a little tiny baby glass of whiskey
Speaker 1: and I keep wanting to cheers with it. Cheers, cheers,
Speaker 1: and now it's time for it. Did you know this
Speaker 1: is where we share something that we learned about parenting
Speaker 1: from a place. Okay, so this article is from mother Jones.
Speaker 1: It's called what if everything you knew about discipline and
Speaker 1: kids was wrong? I want to click on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's um an article describing sort of the research
Speaker 1: and methods of this. I believe psycho psychologist Dr Green,
Speaker 1: doctor um and he has sort of pioneered these techniques
Speaker 1: where rather than punishing children, the children who are the
Speaker 1: most acting out in school situations, you spend more time
Speaker 1: talking it out with those children and sort of helping them,
Speaker 1: how to helping them figure out how to deal with
Speaker 1: situations that are stressing them out. And so he's talking
Speaker 1: about how there's different, uh, you know, learning disabilities or
Speaker 1: just issues children could be having where they are not ah,
Speaker 1: their brain is not developing at the same rate as
Speaker 1: other kids. And they're talking specifically about the prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 1: Sorry I'm trying to remember this all from memory, but
Speaker 1: umntal cortex. But the brain was involved, the front of
Speaker 1: your brain, which processes your executive function, and some kids
Speaker 1: it develops later than others. And so they're talking about
Speaker 1: how do we deal with the kid who can't sit
Speaker 1: still in class, or who acts out, or who is
Speaker 1: constantly doing this thing. It's like there's that He used
Speaker 1: an analogy that says like, if a kid got a
Speaker 1: D on the spelling test, you wouldn't punish them. You
Speaker 1: would try to talk through why that happened and how
Speaker 1: you could fix that. But when when kids are having
Speaker 1: certain emotional issues, the system sometimes will continue to punish
Speaker 1: them even though they don't know how to not do
Speaker 1: that thing. You're punishing the disease, the symptoms instead of
Speaker 1: trying to cure the disease right, And so basically the
Speaker 1: technique is just unfortunately for teachers who have their hands
Speaker 1: very full, the solution with these kids is to spend
Speaker 1: time talking it through with them and letting them cool down.
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, it's basically it's meeting the child's
Speaker 1: needs and and solving problems instead of trying to control behavior. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and trying to talk through how they'll behave the next time.
Speaker 1: What's another solution for how they could seek help if
Speaker 1: they're feeling themselves getting close to that situation again or
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it's about putting the problem solving into
Speaker 1: their hands. And I've had moments with with Brin uh
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, yeah, this does fit in more
Speaker 1: successful times of dealing with Brin while he's you know,
Speaker 1: freaking out um that others because they're when I just
Speaker 1: put up the wall of no, like you're being punished.
Speaker 1: It does feel like I might get a result that's
Speaker 1: in the short term desirable, like I'll stop doing a thing,
Speaker 1: But it does feel like I'm actually reinforcing a pattern
Speaker 1: of behavior instead of teaching him to recognize how we
Speaker 1: got here. So recently he's had like he had a
Speaker 1: bit of a meltdown on the grocery store, and so
Speaker 1: I had to sort of grab him and take him outside.
Speaker 1: And I had a successful cool down with him because
Speaker 1: one I grabbed him and like, obviously that's an aggressive thing.
Speaker 1: I had to get him out, and he's screaming and kicking,
Speaker 1: but I was just showing, you know, not showing him
Speaker 1: any emotion or showing that I'm upset or anything. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna, Okay, we're gonna go cool down. And we
Speaker 1: go outside and we walk over to the edge of
Speaker 1: the parking lot and then I just let him be
Speaker 1: there and I just and he was like so upset,
Speaker 1: and he was just like kicking the fence and this,
Speaker 1: and you're here. And sometimes in that trying to I
Speaker 1: try to ignore him, but I too aggressively ignore him,
Speaker 1: Like I'll ignore him and I'm clearly making a point
Speaker 1: to not look at him, and I feel like that
Speaker 1: blows up in my face because then he's defiant with it.
Speaker 1: And so instead I just stayed with him and I
Speaker 1: looked at him, and I tried to just be where
Speaker 1: he was, and I was like, you should kick this part,
Speaker 1: come kick it over here. He's kicking the fence yeah, well,
Speaker 1: that's like one of these examples in the article is
Speaker 1: this this woman who is a teaching aid at a
Speaker 1: school who takes one of the kids over to the
Speaker 1: stream to throw rocks at the stream while he's calming down.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what a beautiful, uh scene. Imagine if
Speaker 1: all of our kids has had like that level of
Speaker 1: quality of education all the time, where someone is like,
Speaker 1: let me help you deal with these emotions. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: mean it's not always it's a boy. It's it makes
Speaker 1: it sounds simpler than it is. And I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: a I've been that teacher where you just have to
Speaker 1: deal like you're trying to You're trying to deal with
Speaker 1: a whole classroom full of kids and then there's one
Speaker 1: causing a problem. You don't have that room to sort
Speaker 1: of like meet them where they are. Yeah, they need
Speaker 1: a smaller teacher to kid ra or Yeah. But I
Speaker 1: also really like they talked about in some schools who
Speaker 1: have really taken on this philosophy, they've actually started dividing
Speaker 1: their room into and there's this sort of recharge area,
Speaker 1: um and a more focused area as opposed that like, well, okay,
Speaker 1: it's not a like punishment. It's like this person needs
Speaker 1: to go here for a second. And yeah, it sounded
Speaker 1: sort of like what Brent's teacher was saying about. She
Speaker 1: has a little corner where there's like a basket of
Speaker 1: fidget spinners and stuff and kids can just go over
Speaker 1: there and like unlined. But I thought one thing that
Speaker 1: I think is interesting in the article they talk about how, um,
Speaker 1: this type of punitive strategy is what contributes to the
Speaker 1: school to prison pipeline, and how certain kids are just
Speaker 1: getting punished over and over again, then they're more likely
Speaker 1: to commit crimes because they see themselves as someone who
Speaker 1: just does things that you know, like they haven't so
Speaker 1: and so they have the statistic that says for black
Speaker 1: kids with disabilities, the suspension rate is more than one
Speaker 1: in four African American boys and one in five African
Speaker 1: American girls with disabilities will be suspended in a given
Speaker 1: school year. Um so yeah, there's sort of like this intersection.
Speaker 1: I think it's it affects black kids and children with disabilities,
Speaker 1: but the kids who are at that intersection of both
Speaker 1: those things are suffering the most. And it is that
Speaker 1: trying to to in any sort of teaching with kids
Speaker 1: if you can meet them where they are in in
Speaker 1: a moment and to see what they're thinking about and
Speaker 1: focused on. If you can join them in that place,
Speaker 1: it is so much easier to then guide them to
Speaker 1: new information and new ideas because you're you're putting the
Speaker 1: discovery more in their hands. They can at least it
Speaker 1: feels like they're discovering it, and then they are more
Speaker 1: likely to remember it next time. Then when you just
Speaker 1: go no, because then all they see is I'm in trouble,
Speaker 1: and they it disconnects them from what was actually happening. Well,
Speaker 1: it talked about and there was like a school or
Speaker 1: a center or something that was like for kids with
Speaker 1: high needs, and there was all these guards stationed around
Speaker 1: and they tried to implement this new technique and apparently
Speaker 1: the staff were very skeptical because they were like, these
Speaker 1: kids need discipline. And then the staff found over time
Speaker 1: that the more they would like stop and help try
Speaker 1: to help these kids figure out a solution, the more
Speaker 1: the kids trusted the staff and vice versa, and it
Speaker 1: was just like built a much stronger bond between them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then there's and then there's MAE. So this this vacation,
Speaker 1: there was two instances and one since we've been here,
Speaker 1: where she gets in a mode where she wants a
Speaker 1: thing and she doesn't get what she wants, and then
Speaker 1: you know or what it was. It she was just like,
Speaker 1: I want to eat that here, you have to eat
Speaker 1: over here, and she won't let it go, and then
Speaker 1: he forgets what she even wanted. All she knows, but
Speaker 1: part of it is just that she's very tired. She's
Speaker 1: used to being at daycare where they nap her every day,
Speaker 1: and then when she's with us, she takes no nap ever,
Speaker 1: and so at the end of every day she's just
Speaker 1: like feeling insane, like she's like, what's happening? And then
Speaker 1: the little all of a sudden, one little thing just
Speaker 1: completely sets her off and then she's done. So like
Speaker 1: one day when we were home, your mom got her
Speaker 1: this beautiful princess dress for Christmas that she loved, and
Speaker 1: then when we tried to take it off at the
Speaker 1: end of the night, she freaked out. She freaked out,
Speaker 1: and then she has I put her jammie's on and
Speaker 1: she didn't want those to put her in bed. She
Speaker 1: didn't want that, and it's like, well, what do you want?
Speaker 1: And then she all she can say is and she
Speaker 1: just crawls on the ground and takes her clothes off,
Speaker 1: and so I do you want to ignore it? But
Speaker 1: then she starts hitting me, and I go, if you
Speaker 1: hit me, I have to hold you. And then we
Speaker 1: get in this pattern where she's rageous because I'm holding her.
Speaker 1: And then at one point she pretended to calm down
Speaker 1: and lay in bed with us, and then she peeted
Speaker 1: on her bed that she wasn't even pretending to calm down.
Speaker 1: She just she reluctantly had to calm her body down
Speaker 1: so that she could pee on us. You you were
Speaker 1: holding her from behind, so it probably felt like she
Speaker 1: was relaxing. But I saw her face and there was
Speaker 1: white burning rage in her eyes as she let the
Speaker 1: urine flow. She's so evil and in my w did
Speaker 1: my mom say she's a stubborn one? That one well,
Speaker 1: your parents were shocked because she's like the quietest, shyest
Speaker 1: girl all day long, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: they're like, what is this shrieking? She's like, I came down,
Speaker 1: I felt bad. I came down and I said something
Speaker 1: like she's the literal worst. And then Brinn was right
Speaker 1: there and was like, don't say that about my sister.
Speaker 1: And I was like, he was like, she's not the worst.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, you're right, Britain. That was I
Speaker 1: didn't mean that. And then I apologized and was like,
Speaker 1: that's my future wife you're talking about. I had to
Speaker 1: tell Brandy was right, which he loves. Okay, Well, I'm
Speaker 1: happy with him being right about that. Yeah. I felt
Speaker 1: bad saying it's not a normal joke I make What
Speaker 1: am I talking about? We say that all the time anyway. Mean,
Speaker 1: for the record, she's the worst. And then and then
Speaker 1: she turns and then you take her to Frozen two.
Speaker 1: I wanted to sit next to her during that movie
Speaker 1: is so bad. Her eyes were lighting up at the beginning.
Speaker 1: They she was like just so excited to see the
Speaker 1: sisters back together and singing together, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: that part she was going too. Yeah, and there was
Speaker 1: a horse, Yeah that got me there was you really
Speaker 1: love that horse? Fun. Well, it's just you know, I've
Speaker 1: three story parts. I've adapted a million stories, and there's
Speaker 1: some so classics in there, a lot not all, a
Speaker 1: lot of little girls and not just a little girls,
Speaker 1: but a lot of little girls love to write what
Speaker 1: I just called the little Girl Horse Fantasy, which is
Speaker 1: just finding a pony in the woods. It's scared and
Speaker 1: it's lonely, and then it bonds with this young girl
Speaker 1: and it's there's a lot of horse fantasy, and this
Speaker 1: was the epitome of little girl horse fantasy. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: there's some costume changes, magical costume changes. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's half of Frozen. And um, I hated Frozen the
Speaker 1: first one. When I came out, it was like, this
Speaker 1: movie makes no sense. It's so convoluted, it's so just
Speaker 1: joined it. It doesn't feel like it goes together. Hate it.
Speaker 1: I hate it still. I still think all those things
Speaker 1: are true. But I watched it with Mayven and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. It was kind of funny.
Speaker 1: There's like one funny thing. I don't think it's qualify
Speaker 1: as a spoiler, but there's like a little uh scene
Speaker 1: where Olaf is re enacting the first movie for some
Speaker 1: people that they meet because he wants he's trying to
Speaker 1: fill them in on the backstory, like he does such
Speaker 1: a long reenactment of the first movie and like every
Speaker 1: iconic like moment, and it really is kind of like
Speaker 1: a funny parody of the first movie, because you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was good. Yeah, what a weird plot this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's too much magic. There's also like in there,
Speaker 1: there's a very funny scene where they're doing charades too,
Speaker 1: where um Olaf does an impression of Elsa and he
Speaker 1: does this like hip himmy thing she does in the
Speaker 1: first movie when she's singing her big song, like and
Speaker 1: it's like, it's kind of funny that the animators or
Speaker 1: whoever like self aware enough to be like this was
Speaker 1: the most ridiculous thing we put in the first movie. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, there's only one thing I hate in the
Speaker 1: Frozen movies. What Christoph he does that where he talks
Speaker 1: for the span he talks for his reindeer. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: so not funny and he's not good at doing it.
Speaker 1: And they doubled down on that bit in this movie
Speaker 1: so hard the Rock People in the first one where
Speaker 1: the Rock People serves zero function, what is that? He's
Speaker 1: a bit of a fixer upper? Song? Why is that?
Speaker 1: In the movie it was clearly like a song that
Speaker 1: Disney had sitting around and they were like, we got
Speaker 1: this song anyway, Umo is good it's a good movie.
Speaker 1: I liked it. I think it was a more than
Speaker 1: the first one. I yeah, I agree, And I like
Speaker 1: that Disney is getting into this sort of like pro
Speaker 1: like environment phase with Mo Wanna and This and the like.
Speaker 1: Also strong female leads that take care of themselves and
Speaker 1: don't need I don't need men to save them, although
Speaker 1: Anna Auta does have a man savor at one point,
Speaker 1: but she doesn't need it. She does, but but it's
Speaker 1: only after she's taken great risk upon herself. Women can
Speaker 1: be independent and also loving. It's true, it is a
Speaker 1: nice balance there, weren't. It avoided a lot of stereotypical
Speaker 1: gender relationships. It's a story I've never seen before. Let
Speaker 1: it Go, Let it Go, and ride a big old horse.
Speaker 1: That song exactly is in the movie spoilers. This next
Speaker 1: segment is called Listeners Want to Know. It's where we
Speaker 1: take questions and comments from you guys. All right, This
Speaker 1: email comes to us from Allison. Subject line, longtime fan,
Speaker 1: longtime babysitter, Hello, Peter and Beth. I have been listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast since you guys started. I don't know why. Uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know what made me start listening to it.
Speaker 1: Because I do not have kids. I love kids, but
Speaker 1: I love that other people have them and I get
Speaker 1: to sleep in on the weekends. I'm thirty years old,
Speaker 1: so I'm not young. I'm not old either. I enjoy
Speaker 1: listening to you guys. You you guys is banter, and
Speaker 1: also find it interesting that your kids are going through
Speaker 1: similar milestones as my niece and nephew, who are about
Speaker 1: the same age as your kids. Anyway, I just wanted
Speaker 1: to write in to add my two sense about your
Speaker 1: babysitter reacting like your kids were dying because of their cough.
Speaker 1: I don't know if your babysitter has kids or not,
Speaker 1: but as someone who babysits quite a bit and does
Speaker 1: not have kids, I am overcautious about things, for instance,
Speaker 1: leaving the kid's bedroom door open so I can check
Speaker 1: that they're still breathing. I am I may have issues,
Speaker 1: l O L. I probably would not have texted you
Speaker 1: about it, because obviously their coughs did not develop in
Speaker 1: the last hour or so while you were gone, But
Speaker 1: I understand being cautious when you don't have kids. This
Speaker 1: podcast got me pregnant. No, no, just the opposite. Keep
Speaker 1: up the good work with the podcast and Raising your
Speaker 1: Cool Kids, Alison, it's the opposite. This podcast got you.
Speaker 1: Let's not go okay okay. Um the when I used
Speaker 1: to babies that I probably did do similar things like
Speaker 1: leave the door open at some point. But in general,
Speaker 1: if you can have avoid bothering parents when they're out,
Speaker 1: you should, I think. Interesting. The only time I remember
Speaker 1: like texting people when I was babysitting their kids is
Speaker 1: like sometimes I would be like, hey, you have no
Speaker 1: milk left. You might want to get milk on the
Speaker 1: way home, because you know, when you have like a
Speaker 1: toddler and they live on milk's just like it was
Speaker 1: like this, they probably want to know this. Um what
Speaker 1: if they got that text and they're like the other
Speaker 1: they think that we can't parent we don't have milk
Speaker 1: in the house now. Whenever I sent that text to
Speaker 1: a mom who was like, you know, on her way home,
Speaker 1: she was like, oh my god, thank you. Like because
Speaker 1: when you're fifty extra dollars when you're running in like
Speaker 1: and like especially in New York City where everything is
Speaker 1: a headache, like you're like running in and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to walk by like three places with milk,
Speaker 1: But once I get inside, I can't get I don't
Speaker 1: want to go back from milk. Well, now you just
Speaker 1: stuck home with your kid, you know, like, all right,
Speaker 1: that is good. I take it back. That's a good idea. Um,
Speaker 1: that was a great babysitter. You really would be a
Speaker 1: great babysitter. Have you thought about being babysitter? You would
Speaker 1: crush it? Now you know I'm done with kids at
Speaker 1: this point in my life. I think, well, I think
Speaker 1: you got at least fifteen more years at least. All right,
Speaker 1: you ready for another one of these? I'm ready for
Speaker 1: another one of these. Thank you, Allison. Moving on ready
Speaker 1: Naomi getting dressed? Hi, guys, my four year old is
Speaker 1: not a tourist, but he is exceedingly distractable and can
Speaker 1: take an hour and a half or more to get
Speaker 1: dressed if I let him. However, there's something that's been
Speaker 1: working really well to encourage him along. Recently. I've been
Speaker 1: taking two toys and making them argue about how he
Speaker 1: gets dressed. For example, Book says in a growley voice, art,
Speaker 1: thank you, chip it underwear on first, and Car says
Speaker 1: in a higher voice, no, put your shirt on first.
Speaker 1: Then he gets to decide who to listen to. It
Speaker 1: does require some very focused attention from the parent and
Speaker 1: a toddler and a toddler brother who is out of
Speaker 1: the room and at least isn't playing with toys distracting
Speaker 1: the older one. And it only takes five minutes or so,
Speaker 1: and it's much better than the alternative. Come on, honey,
Speaker 1: we need to leave soon. Get our pants on. Then
Speaker 1: get your pants on. Now it's time to go. And
Speaker 1: then if your pants aren't on by the time account
Speaker 1: to ten, I'm putting them on for you. And finally, okay,
Speaker 1: no more privileges ever, because you can't do this very
Speaker 1: simple thing, you annoying child. Also, it's more than worth
Speaker 1: it to take time to set out close the night
Speaker 1: before because of the time and energy it stays in
Speaker 1: the morning. I love the show. Thanks Naomi. That's great.
Speaker 1: That's a good distraction technique. This is I feel like,
Speaker 1: feeds back into what we were talking about, um about
Speaker 1: the instead of punishment. This is a great example. I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, bedtime, Here we go, here we go. If
Speaker 1: I just keep repeating it, which I do, it's a
Speaker 1: lot easier to figure out what they're focused on. Right now,
Speaker 1: go to that place, connect with them there. Then you
Speaker 1: can guide them out of it and go, oh is
Speaker 1: that elsa? Oh she's got her boots. I like her boots.
Speaker 1: I bet her boots are sleepy. Let's walk her boots
Speaker 1: to bed. So much more successful then bedtime. Let's go.
Speaker 1: Now they just will not literally not hear you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean this technique specifically. I think I would have
Speaker 1: to be careful with Maven because if I had, like
Speaker 1: with Maybe and Britain, sometimes they're savvy if we have
Speaker 1: characters talking in a voice, directing them one way or another,
Speaker 1: like Maven with Mayven and picking out pants, like it's
Speaker 1: some as best if you don't give any opinion, because
Speaker 1: if you indicate that you're willing to have her wear
Speaker 1: any pair of pants, and she's like suddenly against that pair.
Speaker 1: So you have to pretend like you're not partial to
Speaker 1: any of the clothes in her drawer. You sort of
Speaker 1: had to act like you're dead. She's aware of you,
Speaker 1: like you're just observing her curation process. I have opened
Speaker 1: up the drawer and I'm like, all right, just pick
Speaker 1: just pick pants, pick pants, all right, I'm gonna come
Speaker 1: back pick pants. And then she gets on her knees,
Speaker 1: and she looks in the drawer and she gets real still,
Speaker 1: and she just looks back and forth at all of
Speaker 1: her pants. And I leave the room and I come back.
Speaker 1: I come back like ten minutes later, and she's has
Speaker 1: a pair of pants in her hand, and she sees
Speaker 1: me and she just drops them and then goes back
Speaker 1: to looking. She didn't want me to see her anyway.
Speaker 1: Our child is the worst. She's the literal worst. Um.
Speaker 1: But boy, I used to lay when they wake up
Speaker 1: the morning and go eat breakfast, And for a few
Speaker 1: mornings I laid all their clothes out in the shape
Speaker 1: of an outfit. And that first day I did that,
Speaker 1: they came in and brand and they were like, whoa.
Speaker 1: Maybe was so excited to put her clothes on. But
Speaker 1: now she has to lay out her full outfit every
Speaker 1: morning as she slowly picks them, and so it takes
Speaker 1: twice as long to get dressed. Yeah it's bad. Yeah
Speaker 1: it's bad. Oh boy, how are our next? How's your neck?
Speaker 1: I'm good? Do you have another email? No we don't.
Speaker 1: That's it. Um. Well, we're in a weird place, weird home,
Speaker 1: so our pace is all off. We're gonna end it
Speaker 1: and we'renna end this one early. My babies never let
Speaker 1: me call you my babies ever again. I don't know, Beth,
Speaker 1: how did you feel about it? Okay? Our babies or
Speaker 1: other babies. This has been another episode of If you'd
Speaker 1: like to submit a question and share a story, gives
Speaker 1: some advice or a parenting hypothetical for our would you knows? Segment?
Speaker 1: You can email us at we knows Pod at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com or leave us a voicemail at three four
Speaker 1: seven four seven three six. If you want to find
Speaker 1: us on social media's Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, you can find
Speaker 1: us and we knows Pod. Also, maybe this is the
Speaker 1: week you write us a review. You give this five
Speaker 1: starts and you're your rate, your rate, rate and review
Speaker 1: that already say that, subscribe. That's the third thing that's
Speaker 1: always good is my new rate and review character. I'm working.
Speaker 1: It's a work of progress. Save me, Beth, Save me
Speaker 1: from this horrible outrow fine fine f