1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,720
Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast.

3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

5
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,280
Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

6
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 1: get into the episode.

7
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 3: Our parents abandon us Now I'm scared to raise my

8
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,080
Speaker 3: little sister alone.

9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,120
Speaker 4: Oh that is a lot ope.

10
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,239
Speaker 3: Our parents, in their fifties, divorced five years ago, and

11
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,560
Speaker 3: after that we were basically passed around between them as

12
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 3: neither of them were keen to have us around, especially

13
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,280
Speaker 3: since they both remarried soon and had their new families

14
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,880
Speaker 3: and new step kids to worry about. By the way,

15
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,519
Speaker 3: this comes from user Shirksa and if you want to

16
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

17
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,040
Speaker 3: Storytime Supreddit. I'm key on, I'm Carly, and we're here

18
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,559
Speaker 3: to give good advice. Goofly, But we don't have all

19
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we do, so let

20
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,279
Speaker 3: us know what you would do in the comments. When

21
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,600
Speaker 3: I twenty one male, became eighteen, my sister was eight

22
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,400
Speaker 3: now eleven female. They told me that I need to

23
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,000
Speaker 3: take care of her. Her all by myself now. In reality,

24
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,080
Speaker 3: I always had taken care of her. Since they never

25
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,120
Speaker 3: spent time with her. It was clear that they didn't

26
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,759
Speaker 3: want to be involved anymore. They transferred her full custody

27
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,400
Speaker 3: to me and gave us money every month so we

28
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 3: wouldn't bother them. So that's how it's been for the

29
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 3: past three years. I love with my sister and I'm

30
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,440
Speaker 3: doing my best to make sure she has a stable home,

31
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 3: gets enough attention, feels loved, and is growing up as

32
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,479
Speaker 3: well and has everything she needs. Unlike them, I don't

33
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,480
Speaker 3: see her as a burden, and I really love her

34
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,760
Speaker 3: and want the best for her. In these past three years,

35
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,680
Speaker 3: our parents haven't made any real efforts to even bother

36
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,399
Speaker 3: checking up on her. The plan was that I collect

37
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,320
Speaker 3: checks from them every month, but that's the end of

38
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,920
Speaker 3: their involvement in our lives. In the first few months,

39
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000
Speaker 3: I used to take her with me when I collected

40
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,200
Speaker 3: the checks, but they both were so indifferent and unfriendly

41
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,600
Speaker 3: towards us that it always made her sad. The last

42
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 3: time I took her with me, it was right before

43
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,960
Speaker 3: her birthday and I was planning a small party for

44
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 3: her with her friends, and she was very excited. She

45
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,240
Speaker 3: asked our mom to come and received a no answer.

46
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,400
Speaker 3: She didn't even bother getting her a gift. She only

47
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,760
Speaker 3: wrote an extra one hundred dollars on the check and

48
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,800
Speaker 3: told me to get a gift for her on her

49
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 3: a behalf. My sister started crying as soon as we

50
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,520
Speaker 3: left the next day. The same thing happened when we

51
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 3: went to my father's place, and he didn't even say that,

52
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,839
Speaker 3: he just declined to come. I was angry at them.

53
00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:15,840
Speaker 3: That was the last time she saw them. They never

54
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,800
Speaker 3: came around to see her. I only see them when

55
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 3: I go to get the checks, and they don't even

56
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,120
Speaker 3: invite me in anymore. They have it ready when I

57
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 3: arrive and they just hand it over and say goodbye.

58
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,840
Speaker 3: My sister has been dealing with abandonment issues as a result.

59
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,960
Speaker 3: She rightfully feels that our parents traded her for their

60
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 3: new partners and kids, and she's afraid that the same

61
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,280
Speaker 3: thing might happen to her with me, that I might

62
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,600
Speaker 3: go off with some other people and leave her alone.

63
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,200
Speaker 3: I always reassure her that this will never happen, and

64
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 3: I'm always there for her, that we will live together

65
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,880
Speaker 3: until she completely grows up, and I'm going to take

66
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 3: care of her, but I don't think this has completely

67
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,920
Speaker 3: taken away her fears. What should I do to help her?

68
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,520
Speaker 3: I want her to feel safe and loved and stable

69
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,000
Speaker 3: without any fear of losing me. And we have some comments.

70
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,400
Speaker 4: If there's a way that you guys have enough money

71
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 4: or can get into some sort of program for or

72
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,480
Speaker 4: something for a therapist of some kind to help with

73
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,680
Speaker 4: the abandonment stuff and also just help you with learning

74
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,040
Speaker 4: how to raise a kid that you shouldn't have to

75
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:14,560
Speaker 4: be raising.

76
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the fact that both your parents abandoned

77
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,360
Speaker 3: you guys and said here you go, champ. Yeah, time

78
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:21,880
Speaker 3: to grow up.

79
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:23,359
Speaker 4: I hate that they make you pick it up every

80
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:23,880
Speaker 4: month too.

81
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,880
Speaker 3: They Yeah, these people suck. I would. I would, just

82
00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,120
Speaker 3: because it's illegal, Like I would barge in to be like, hey,

83
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,399
Speaker 3: where's your wife or where's your partner, where's your new kids? Hey,

84
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 3: you know what he did to me?

85
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,839
Speaker 4: No, you don't even need to do that. They suck.

86
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 4: They know that they suck.

87
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 3: We have some top slash relevant comments. User Moonlight Tracer

88
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,480
Speaker 3: says the only way is to just continue being an

89
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,520
Speaker 3: awesome brother. Maybe consider seeing a family therapist together. On

90
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,880
Speaker 3: a completely underrelated note, are the payments court ordered. If not,

91
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,640
Speaker 3: you should consider seeking legal device to make sure you're

92
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,240
Speaker 3: getting the most amount. Also, maybe stop physically seeing them

93
00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,960
Speaker 3: and figure out a different way to get the money.

94
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,400
Speaker 3: Lucy NJ nineteen ninety says, kudos for you for being

95
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,560
Speaker 3: an amazing big brother. I would make sure that she

96
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,480
Speaker 3: knows that you are there for her one hundred percent

97
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,080
Speaker 3: and that you are never going anywhere. Cut off contact

98
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 3: with your parents except for monthly checks. Maybe get hurt

99
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,760
Speaker 3: into therapy. There may be some issues that you cannot resolve.

100
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,960
Speaker 3: Another commenter who says, tell them the amount on the

101
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,040
Speaker 3: checks is no longer enough, tell them she needs therapy

102
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,760
Speaker 3: due to their emotional distance, and to add an additional

103
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,520
Speaker 3: eight hundred dollars per month. Otherwise you'll take them to

104
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,800
Speaker 3: court for child support and get twenty percent of their

105
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,120
Speaker 3: total income. Unless they're already giving you more than that.

106
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,360
Speaker 3: I don't know. They can go to jail in most

107
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,880
Speaker 3: places for not paying. Another user says, my heart breaks

108
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,520
Speaker 3: for your sister. I'm sorry. Keep reassuring her. Poor girl

109
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,840
Speaker 3: needs therapy. My ex abandoned us. My girl received a

110
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,040
Speaker 3: couple of years of therapy. What helped her the most

111
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,159
Speaker 3: was hearing from another adult that their dad was flat

112
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 3: out wrong, no reasons, no excuse, just wrong, and that

113
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,000
Speaker 3: is okay and healthy to be angry with that. And

114
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,520
Speaker 3: there is an update. So besides reassuring her verbally, continuously

115
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 3: making sure we do a lot of things together and

116
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,279
Speaker 3: being a good brother, I needed to get her into

117
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,240
Speaker 3: therapy and I found the right therapist for her. She's

118
00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,800
Speaker 3: a psychologist who specializes in children's issues after divorce. The

119
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,800
Speaker 3: only problem was money. I called both my parents and

120
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,200
Speaker 3: told them that I need to talk to them separately

121
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,479
Speaker 3: and told them that we need more money as she

122
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,640
Speaker 3: needs to get therapy and I want to do nice

123
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,960
Speaker 3: things for her and that's the least they owe us

124
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,520
Speaker 3: after everything. They were hesitant, but eventually agreed. I'm now

125
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,080
Speaker 3: getting five hundred dollars more each month from my mother

126
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,279
Speaker 3: and seven hundred and fifty dollars more from my father,

127
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,960
Speaker 3: and that is a real help. When we have extra

128
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,800
Speaker 3: money from what my parents give us, I put it

129
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,080
Speaker 3: in a college one for her, and this extra money

130
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,440
Speaker 3: means that not only she can see a great therapist,

131
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,080
Speaker 3: but now I can save more for her. I also

132
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,320
Speaker 3: talked to a lawyer, as a lot of you suggested

133
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 3: to make sure we're getting the right amount of money,

134
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 3: and it seems that we do. Of course, we would

135
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,159
Speaker 3: go on and get them to court and make everything

136
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,360
Speaker 3: happen through the legal system, but that has the risk

137
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,880
Speaker 3: of them choosing to end my guardianship and get my

138
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,480
Speaker 3: sister back, which is not the right thing for her.

139
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,280
Speaker 3: She's much safer and better off here than in their

140
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 3: own hands. Obviously, the option is on the table if

141
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,159
Speaker 3: they decide to stop paying or reduce the amount. And

142
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,720
Speaker 3: a couple of you suggested we do something symbolic, which

143
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,080
Speaker 3: I liked a lot. So I bought two matching necklaces

144
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,159
Speaker 3: and had them engrave our names on them, and told

145
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,280
Speaker 3: my sister that we're going to wear these to remind

146
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,599
Speaker 3: ourselves that each of us will always be there for

147
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,440
Speaker 3: the other, and then we can count on each other.

148
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,479
Speaker 3: We've already been to two sessions of therapy and I

149
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,840
Speaker 3: think things are good. The necklace has worked and she

150
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 3: doesn't even want to take it off when she takes

151
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,000
Speaker 3: a shower. We have some more relevant comments, I.

152
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,680
Speaker 4: Don't really have anything else to add. You have a

153
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,600
Speaker 4: great head on your shoulders. You seem to know exactly

154
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,080
Speaker 4: what to do. You took all the good advice from

155
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,520
Speaker 4: those comments. I think you're doing wonderful. Don't ever be

156
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,919
Speaker 4: too hard on yourself, because you really crushed it in

157
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,080
Speaker 4: stepping up and being there for your sister.

158
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Op, you've been doing so much for your sister,

159
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,080
Speaker 3: I think you deserve a day too for yourself. I

160
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 3: know you've been doing things for her with her, which

161
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,599
Speaker 3: is great, but don't forget about yourself as well. You

162
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 3: know it's okay. You pretty much became a parental role

163
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,760
Speaker 3: when you never asked for it. It's crazy. So just

164
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,880
Speaker 3: pat yourself on the back and know that you deserve

165
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 3: a good day as well. And we have some comments.

166
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 3: User deleted says, as a former ward, make future plans

167
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:12,520
Speaker 3: with her like community events, concerts, trips, the zoo, etc.

168
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,360
Speaker 3: The college fund is indicative of a stable future for

169
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,280
Speaker 3: her and that must mean a lot to her. But

170
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,120
Speaker 3: some short term things are cool too, like take us

171
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,080
Speaker 3: to see a movie or whatever, or discuss when a

172
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,880
Speaker 3: new one is coming out and how it'd be cool

173
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 3: to go see together, or video games and release dates

174
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,920
Speaker 3: for DVDs. Get a big calendar and write your plans

175
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,320
Speaker 3: on it. This kind of stuff is small, but very powerful.

176
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,920
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean just that you won't bail on her,

177
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,560
Speaker 3: but also that you're sticking around because you want to,

178
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 3: and that you like hanging out with her, not just

179
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,560
Speaker 3: taking her in and out of a sense of obligation.

180
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,960
Speaker 3: Kids always know more of what's going on than adults.

181
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 3: Give them credit for b sha with her. Always, Best

182
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,240
Speaker 3: of luck to you guys. Another user says, you know,

183
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 3: I can understand if you just flat out can't be

184
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,240
Speaker 3: a parent and just need to disengage. I don't like it,

185
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,160
Speaker 3: but I get it. But when you just ditch your

186
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,360
Speaker 3: family so you can start a new family, trade in

187
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,800
Speaker 3: your old kids for new ones. I treated my mass

188
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,480
Speaker 3: effects Safeyle with more respect than that. Your parents need

189
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,240
Speaker 3: to be marched through the city, carry large signs saying

190
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,480
Speaker 3: what they've done while being booed at. You're a great guy.

191
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,760
Speaker 3: Keep looking out for your sister. It's better than to

192
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,120
Speaker 3: have one person who cares for you than a huge

193
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,840
Speaker 3: bioclan who are neglectful and harmful. I'm not a lawyer,

194
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,880
Speaker 3: but when she is older, a her testimony saying she

195
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 3: wishes to stay with you and b their total abandonment

196
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,960
Speaker 3: for years should protect you from that. Still family courts

197
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,720
Speaker 3: in the USA are a total crab show. I've seen

198
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,560
Speaker 3: cases where they leave the kids with abusers or take

199
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,960
Speaker 3: them away from the caring parents to go live with

200
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,000
Speaker 3: the abusers. Child Protection Services minimum standards for care would

201
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,840
Speaker 3: be too low for prison better to be avoided. That

202
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,800
Speaker 3: is the end of that story.

203
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,880
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not up to speed on knowing what

204
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,360
Speaker 4: the court stuff would look like, but I think that's

205
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,160
Speaker 4: a very good comment to know about and know that

206
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,640
Speaker 4: sometimes it could end up that they're not going to

207
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,240
Speaker 4: do what everyone obviously knows is the right thing. So

208
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,120
Speaker 4: you also seem to know, like of the worry that

209
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:06,160
Speaker 4: maybe they'd take custody back of your sister. So I

210
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,000
Speaker 4: still think it sounds like you've got a good head

211
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,960
Speaker 4: on your shoulders though you've taken the advice you need to.

212
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just feel like you're giving her the best

213
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,160
Speaker 3: you can, which, again, good for you, Kudos to you.

214
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,040
Speaker 3: I mean, there are people out there who would just

215
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,559
Speaker 3: give up, but you really are pushing yourself, and if

216
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,319
Speaker 3: you are hearing this, I feel like everyone is rooting

217
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,959
Speaker 3: for you and wants the best for you and your sister.

218
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 3: So keep trucking along, Op, You are a great person.

219
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,680
Speaker 3: Your family sucks, honestly, not even your family, because your

220
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,720
Speaker 3: family wouldn't do that to you. But yeah, the Internet's

221
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,319
Speaker 3: there for you. They got you. But keep doing what's

222
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,520
Speaker 3: best for you and your sister.

223
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,840
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story.

224
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:44,680
Speaker 5: But we got another one.

225
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,160
Speaker 4: I told my family I don't care about them, and

226
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 4: it made them furious.

227
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,599
Speaker 3: Honesty is the best policy.

228
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,800
Speaker 4: I twenty male, live partially with my mother fifty seven female,

229
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,920
Speaker 4: and father forty five male, and my twin brother, also

230
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,480
Speaker 4: twenty mail, in a gated neighborhood. I live in another

231
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,199
Speaker 4: city most of the time for school. Being the first

232
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 4: one in my immediate family to go to university, I'm

233
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,720
Speaker 4: naturally their pride and joy, only coming back on weekends

234
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 4: to see my pets and take a break from my studies.

235
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from true throw And if

236
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,160
Speaker 4: you want us to make your own stories, go to

237
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,440
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime stubreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

238
00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,000
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice goofy. But we

239
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,160
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do,

240
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,960
Speaker 4: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

241
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,200
Speaker 4: We don't get to interact much, and they all miss

242
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 4: me when I'm gone, especially my brother, who considers me

243
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,559
Speaker 4: like his better half, which feels pretty nice to hear.

244
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 4: Despite our rocky relationship, he's still a part of my

245
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,840
Speaker 4: life and I can't imagine going a day without his

246
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,920
Speaker 4: soothing presence. He grounds me in a way I can't

247
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,040
Speaker 4: quite describe. Despite how close we may appear, I don't

248
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,280
Speaker 4: think I can say I care about him. I don't

249
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,240
Speaker 4: hate him, but I can't really say how I feel

250
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,400
Speaker 4: about him either. It doesn't bother me. I like myself

251
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,160
Speaker 4: well enough, and it didn't bother me because he didn't know.

252
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 4: The moment everything fell apart was about four or five

253
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 4: weeks ago. It was during a three week break I

254
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 4: had from school due to an outbreak of scabies.

255
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,000
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

256
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 4: I didn't want to stay there, being at risk of

257
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,559
Speaker 4: catching it, so I called at my mom to come

258
00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:18,880
Speaker 4: pick me up as my car was a wreck after

259
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 4: a messy accident. While I don't feel much for her either,

260
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,800
Speaker 4: I do appreciate her for what she does for me,

261
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,680
Speaker 4: but I don't like talking to her much. I rarely

262
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,840
Speaker 4: strike up a conversation. More often than not, I just

263
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,080
Speaker 4: put one of my earbuds on and listen to music

264
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,959
Speaker 4: while responding with basic answers so she doesn't think I'm

265
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,000
Speaker 4: ignoring her. That fateful day where everything fell apart was

266
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,640
Speaker 4: a Wednesday night. My brother and I had this little

267
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,280
Speaker 4: ritual when we were teens of hanging out on the roof,

268
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,680
Speaker 4: just drinking, laughing, watching the night sky, and overall having

269
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 4: a good time. During those nights, he'd talk about his

270
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,840
Speaker 4: work week, recent outings, and hookups, joking about how we

271
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,320
Speaker 4: could both rock some serious women if we went out together.

272
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,880
Speaker 4: I would talk about my recent flings and failed flirtings

273
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 4: with women at the bar, just pulling each other's leg.

274
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,319
Speaker 4: But this night was really different. As we both drank

275
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,440
Speaker 4: our adult beverages, he started to pour his heart out

276
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 4: about our mother's behavior when I was away. He and

277
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:18,839
Speaker 4: her always had a complicated relationship. After complaining about her,

278
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,360
Speaker 4: he started to say things about family and how it

279
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,920
Speaker 4: was the most important thing for someone to have. I'll

280
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 4: always remember this as the moment things went down the drain.

281
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,480
Speaker 4: Despite everything she does to me, despite how she makes

282
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,959
Speaker 4: me feel or how she makes you feel, She's still

283
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,120
Speaker 4: my mother and I love her so much. Just like you,

284
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,600
Speaker 4: you only got one family after all, and I would

285
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,000
Speaker 4: literally pass away for her, especially for you, op he

286
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,240
Speaker 4: said as he patted my back, his teary eyes glistening

287
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,080
Speaker 4: in the moonlight. I seconded his thoughts with my own.

288
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,760
Speaker 4: I'll drink to that like I've always been doing when

289
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,040
Speaker 4: he brings the subject I have no answer to. But

290
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 4: he got curious about my point of view. As I

291
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,720
Speaker 4: almost never share any real personal information, I'd usually tell

292
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,880
Speaker 4: him off, changing subjects to my latest relationship crash or

293
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,960
Speaker 4: embarrassing flirt, anything to not talk about my thoughts and opinions.

294
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,560
Speaker 4: But for some reason, he kept pressing on, reassuring me

295
00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 4: that since he tells me everything, he'd love for me

296
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 4: to do the same. Because we're brothers, I had no

297
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:21,360
Speaker 4: reason to be worried he would understand, so, after taking

298
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,360
Speaker 4: another sip of my adult beverage, I started to spill

299
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,800
Speaker 4: the beans about me, the real me. As corny as

300
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,400
Speaker 4: that sounds, I told him that family didn't hold that

301
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,240
Speaker 4: much weight or even relevance to me as it does

302
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 4: for him. Blood doesn't really mean anything to me, whether

303
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,000
Speaker 4: we've known each other since we were kids or we're

304
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 4: distant cousins. I barely see. It's all the same to me,

305
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,920
Speaker 4: nothing that noteworthy. He was shocked, to say the least.

306
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,560
Speaker 4: He started asking me hypotheticals about my reaction to awful

307
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:53,800
Speaker 4: family situations like Mom being hospitalized, him being caught in

308
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,520
Speaker 4: a fire, or going to prison. Despite what he wanted

309
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,080
Speaker 4: me to say, I told him the truth. I told

310
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,320
Speaker 4: him I've been apathetic to their existence for a while now,

311
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 4: even for a better part of my life. Honestly, I

312
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,679
Speaker 4: don't hate them, don't get me wrong, but I just

313
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,640
Speaker 4: couldn't bring myself to have any real feeling towards them,

314
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 4: or anyone in my family for that matter. He stayed

315
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,600
Speaker 4: quiet for a while, sipping on his maybe fifth bottle,

316
00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 4: while I did the same. Neither of us dared to

317
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,600
Speaker 4: break the silence for a solid minute, But after a

318
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 4: cow wandered into our neighborhood, we started to crack jokes again.

319
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,720
Speaker 3: A cow wandered into your neighbor Where do you live?

320
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 4: For a while, I heard nothing of it. I'd go

321
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 4: to school, sometimes to parties, and then come home for

322
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,280
Speaker 4: a couple of weeks. Since I had my car once again,

323
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,160
Speaker 4: I could lay off my mom for the travels. Everything

324
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 4: was going pretty good until about two months later, at

325
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 4: about one pm, I got a message from my mom

326
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,920
Speaker 4: saying she needed me home because she had to talk

327
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 4: to me about something important. Of course, I had my classes,

328
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 4: so I asked if it could wait until tomorrow, but

329
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,560
Speaker 4: she said she needed me to come right now. So

330
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,280
Speaker 4: I went to my teachers, informing them I was going

331
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 4: to be absent for a big part of the day.

332
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 4: Then I got in my car and drove back to

333
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,960
Speaker 4: my little neighborhood. As soon as I approached the door,

334
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 4: I could hear muffled words, clearly, some of them being

335
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 4: my name. Once I entered, the chatter stopped. As I

336
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,680
Speaker 4: made my way and looked around the living room. I

337
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:23,240
Speaker 4: could see many people from my entourage, my mom, dad, sister, grandma, cousins,

338
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,560
Speaker 4: and my aunt. It was pretty surreal to see. At first,

339
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,480
Speaker 4: I thought someone had passed away and they felt the

340
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,400
Speaker 4: need to inform me.

341
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,440
Speaker 5: My mother then.

342
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,480
Speaker 4: Spoke, Opie, we need to talk. I could hear that

343
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 4: familiar tone in her voice, that tone of misery and

344
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,880
Speaker 4: blame she used whenever we were kids, and she wanted

345
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 4: us to feel bad for her, but also wanted us

346
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,400
Speaker 4: to know she wasn't mad. It's hard to describe. I

347
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 4: asked what was going on, and she was quick to answer,

348
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 4: we were informed of a little problem you recently revealed

349
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 4: to your brother. We just want to talk, she said,

350
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,880
Speaker 4: holding her head down. I could almost see her holding

351
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 4: back tears. I said, HM, sure, not knowing what to expect.

352
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,920
Speaker 4: One by one, they all started giving speeches about the

353
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 4: hardships of family drama, keeping your close ones with you

354
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,080
Speaker 4: through thick and thin, how I shouldn't stay secluded and

355
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 4: let me help them, whatever that means. My brother was

356
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 4: the last one to speak. While he had no bad intentions,

357
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 4: his speech went from sad to frustration as he felt

358
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 4: I had lied to him. We've been together as brothers

359
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 4: for all our lives. We've shared so much together, so

360
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 4: much hardship and adventures, so many highs and lows, And

361
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,000
Speaker 4: you're telling me, ope that all of this, the laughs,

362
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 4: the tears, the anger, the thrills we lived, that all

363
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 4: of that was a lie. Nothing we lived was real,

364
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 4: just made up crap you did to seem normal so

365
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 4: you could fool us into thinking you care. That this

366
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,400
Speaker 4: is all too familiar. Aggression, and his voice said it all.

367
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:54,200
Speaker 4: He wanted me to be honest, He wanted straight answers.

368
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 4: I could see him watching me, trying to see a reaction,

369
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 4: any reaction from me, but his words just sat with me,

370
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 4: slowly coming to the reality that his words had no

371
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 4: real meaning to me. I finally spoke after a quiet minute.

372
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 4: I told them that while I appreciate the sentiment of

373
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 4: them organizing this little reunion because they worry about me,

374
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 4: it's really not necessary because there was nothing to discuss.

375
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,439
Speaker 4: My grandma then chimed in, saying this was something we

376
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 4: should all discuss. My sister's second the motion. She said,

377
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,119
Speaker 4: if you just talk to us about your struggles, we

378
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,360
Speaker 4: can help you, buddy. She claimed she knew a good

379
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,719
Speaker 4: camp where we could go to for the summer and

380
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 4: just talk things out. The whole time, I was just

381
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 4: staring at my mom, who was just silently sniffling, studying

382
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,679
Speaker 4: her features like I was only now seeing her for

383
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 4: the first time. She then spoke up again with a

384
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,439
Speaker 4: much quieter voice. Do you hate us this much? I

385
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 4: will admit this caught me off guard. I didn't really

386
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,359
Speaker 4: know what to respond, but I was already in too deep,

387
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 4: so I just answered honestly, and my voice a bit

388
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 4: colder than I wanted it to be. I don't care

389
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,879
Speaker 4: that much about you. The room fell so quiet that

390
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 4: you could hear a pin drop. After saying that, I

391
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 4: quickly started turning back, walking through the hall to the door,

392
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,399
Speaker 4: until I heard my mom bursting into tears. As I

393
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,000
Speaker 4: left the living room and down the entry hall, I

394
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 4: grabbed the door handle, but I stopped for a second,

395
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 4: hearing her say, how could someone so psychotic be my son?

396
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 4: I'd love to say that words hit me hard, that

397
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 4: they hit me like the old one, two to the gut,

398
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 4: that I threw myself into my schoolwork to get my

399
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 4: mind off things. That I ran back to the living room,

400
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 4: crying my eyes out, going on my knees and begging

401
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 4: my mom for forgiveness. That I crashed out and cut contact,

402
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 4: But I didn't. I just got out to my car

403
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 4: and drove back to my little apartment I used for school.

404
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,640
Speaker 4: It wasn't long before the messages and calls started pouring in,

405
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 4: all variations of them calling me heartless and cruel for

406
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 4: saying that and making.

407
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 5: Our mother cry.

408
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,879
Speaker 4: What I used earlier was the wrong term that I

409
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 4: was going for. Okay, I'm and I cannot remember the

410
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 4: right one right now, and I'm going to search it.

411
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,360
Speaker 4: In a second. But basically people who don't feel any

412
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 4: emotion or or care for anybody. Probably it's a thing.

413
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:03,640
Speaker 4: He probably has it.

414
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 3: It's not psychotic, it might be it.

415
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 4: Might be psychopath I'm double checking maybe our words around the.

416
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 3: Fact that none of those affected you. Ope, I feel

417
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 3: like this being sprung upon you was a lot as well,

418
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,120
Speaker 3: so I can see where you're like, this is way

419
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 3: too much. I feel like your brother should have a

420
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 3: full on conversation with you about it before any of this.

421
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 3: But it does seem like, I don't know, you kind

422
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: of just took it and we're like, Okay, that's just

423
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,919
Speaker 3: a normal day. I'm not affected by this. I'm going

424
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 3: to go straight back to school and just live my

425
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 3: life like this is my family, but I don't care

426
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 3: for them.

427
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 4: So, yes, I was off with the self absorbed person one.

428
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 4: It is either a psycho or socio path. The only

429
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 4: thing that he's not showing is like the manipulative well

430
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 4: he is by lying the whole time and knowing that

431
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 4: he didn't really like the deceit quote unquote deced like

432
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,400
Speaker 4: saying that he did feel it and.

433
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,479
Speaker 3: He doesn't have to encounter this that would situation.

434
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 4: Continued to classify him as one, so he probably is,

435
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 4: and if it is diagnosed, is something that's fairly common. Actually,

436
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 4: I'm not looking for any advice or resolutions. I'm just

437
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 4: trying to wrap my head around everything that's happened these

438
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 4: past two and a half months. I don't necessarily believe

439
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 4: I was wrong for what I said, because they asked

440
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 4: me to say the truth, and I did just that.

441
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 4: Update six months later. I wasn't gonna make an update

442
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 4: because I didn't really see a point to it, but

443
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 4: it's been recommended to me by the therapist I saw

444
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 4: to write out past events might help me to rationalize

445
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 4: everything or something. Six months has passed since this whole

446
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 4: thing with my mom, and a bit has happened since then.

447
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 4: I've had to block a lot of my family's numbers

448
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 4: and left the family group chat sometime after my post.

449
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 4: I didn't want to, but I had no choice because

450
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 4: of the months and months of never ending flood of

451
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 4: messages and calls from them calling me different variants of evil.

452
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 4: My cousin was more or less understanding about my feelings

453
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 4: since she works in psychology, so she's unblocked, but we

454
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 4: already don't talk much, so it didn't change much. My

455
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 4: father also remains unblocked. He sent me a single long

456
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 4: message after this whole mess, telling me that while he

457
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 4: doesn't fully get what I meant and probably never will,

458
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 4: I'm still his son and he loves me just the

459
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 4: same as before, even if I don't love him back,

460
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 4: and he's willing to give me my space to think,

461
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 4: which I'll admit made my throat close up a bit.

462
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 4: I may not care for him like he does for me,

463
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 4: but he's still my father and I have immense respect

464
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 4: for him. This man was here for every milestone of

465
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,880
Speaker 4: my life. Despite working until dark every day, he always

466
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 4: tried to make time for me and my brother when

467
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 4: we were little. Did his best to be present for

468
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 4: every birthday, Christmas and Thanksgiving, every summer camping trip, every

469
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,640
Speaker 4: elementary school play. He was there when my first girlfriend

470
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 4: dumped me, even when I told him I didn't feel

471
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 4: much for her. He insisted on taking me and my

472
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 4: brother to the mountains to clear my head with trusted

473
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 4: family and use that time to bond with us because

474
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 4: he felt absent from a lot of our life. He

475
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 4: was cheering for me at my high school basketball games

476
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 4: and graduation I didn't respond. I couldn't bring myself to

477
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 4: do it. It would feel a bit unfit to him

478
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 4: if I started saying that I do love him, because

479
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 4: I know he wouldn't believe it. He's smart enough to

480
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 4: know that, but he has remained unblocked.

481
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 5: The others.

482
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 4: On the other hand, my grandma and sister wouldn't stop

483
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 4: sending me these almost threatening messages and voicemails, which were

484
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 4: all the variations about how they can't believe I did this.

485
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 4: I will regret treating them like dirt. Real family care

486
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 4: for each other. She'll get back at me for hurting

487
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 4: her daughter. My mom deserves a better son than me.

488
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 4: I'm tearing this family apart.

489
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 3: You know, if he just looks at it and says

490
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: my mom would.

491
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 4: Call me over and over, always leaving minute long, crying voicemails,

492
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 4: asking me what she did wrong to make me like this,

493
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 4: to please come back to come see her fix things,

494
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 4: telling me she misses me dearly, how she wishes she

495
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 4: could turn back in time and make things right, to

496
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 4: just talk to her, but she wouldn't let me talk.

497
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 4: When I did answer her calls, she'd just start talking

498
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: incoherently through tears. Or my grandma would use her number

499
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 4: to insult me, so I blocked her at least until

500
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 4: she pulls herself back together so we can really talk.

501
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 4: My brother was the most surprising of them because he

502
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 4: was completely silent through the whole ordeal. No calls, emails,

503
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 4: or visits to confront me. I didn't expect that, given

504
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 4: his temper, like him coming to my place to drag

505
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 4: me outside just to fight, but there's been nothing. My aunt,

506
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 4: out of all the people that were at the intervention,

507
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,360
Speaker 4: was the most understanding. She's the only one I kept

508
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 4: any sort of consistent contact with. Instead of trying to

509
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 4: guilt me for my feelings or lack thereof, she actually

510
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 4: wanted to talk to me alone about the whole thing.

511
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 4: I was a bit on the fence, thinking it was

512
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 4: another intervention ploy, as she called it, but I was

513
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 4: pleasantly surprised when it really was just me and her.

514
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 4: We sat down and started some small talk. I don't

515
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 4: see her often, so it was nice to catch up.

516
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,959
Speaker 6: After that, we actually started the serious talk. She asked

517
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 6: what the whole ordeal was about, because of course my

518
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 6: brother didn't tell her everything I said, so I had

519
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 6: to tell her the truth. My aunt stayed quiet for

520
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,199
Speaker 6: a bit before putting a hand on my shoulder and

521
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 6: telling me I had done nothing wrong and had no

522
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 6: reason to feel guilty or anything. Even if she didn't

523
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 6: quite get how I felt, she always understood me more

524
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 6: than the others. She said, she had my back and

525
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 6: I was always welcome in her home. We spent the

526
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 6: rest of the day talking about schoolwork and life in

527
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 6: the city. It was a good distraction from everything. At

528
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 6: the start of August.

529
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 4: After a bit of consideration and discussion with my friends,

530
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 4: they recommended I go see a therapist. They don't know

531
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 4: the full story and just know me and my family

532
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 4: are not on speaking terms right now. Normally i'd give

533
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 4: a vague reason as to why I didn't want to.

534
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 4: Most of the time i'd call it a scam for

535
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 4: people who are just soft, when in reality I just

536
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 4: don't want to spend that much out of my wallet.

537
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 4: But with this whole mess happening, I thought it was

538
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 4: worth trying, if anything, just to see why I felt

539
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: this way about my family, so I booked a session.

540
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 4: I was kind of nervous since I never went inside

541
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 4: a therapist's office before. Her office was very clean, very organized,

542
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,880
Speaker 4: it felt calming, more at ease, almost peaceful. We started

543
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 4: our session and already hit a wall because I could

544
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 4: stop masking, as she called it. I was a bit

545
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 4: hesitant not to mask at first, since in the past

546
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,479
Speaker 4: I've been often chastised by others for not feeling like others.

547
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: It lasted for about twenty minutes before we started talking

548
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 4: about my family and the root of our distance. I

549
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 4: told her the truth. I saw no point in hiding

550
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 4: anything from her. We talked about my relationship with my

551
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 4: family the entire session, but nothing substantial came out of it.

552
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 4: She kept asking if at any point in my life

553
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 4: I could feel something stronger than pleasantries towards past lovers

554
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 4: or relatives, and I kept telling her the same thing.

555
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 4: I tried, but I couldn't do it every time. She

556
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 4: seemed almost disappointed by my answers, but she didn't comment

557
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 4: or anything, just took notes and moved on to other

558
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 4: questions regarding past behaviors. By the way, regarding full episodes,

559
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 4: you can listen to them with stories just like this.

560
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 4: Just go Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio search up Okay, storytime.

561
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 4: There's gonna be a ton of full episodes with tons

562
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 4: of stories.

563
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 3: Oh yes, that's good. On OP too, come to fruition

564
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 3: of why is this happening? Why I don't I have

565
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 3: these emotions when it comes to just any strong bonds,

566
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 3: which is good, good for U seeing a therapist. I

567
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 3: think it's the thing of you can't change the way

568
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 3: people you know are or how they behave or how

569
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 3: they feel. If that's how they feel, Yeah, that's one thing.

570
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 3: So I can totally understand, OPI on that again, I

571
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 3: think the way that your family, like some of your

572
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: family members do understand, like not necessarily completely, but they're like,

573
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,239
Speaker 3: that's just how he is, and you know what, I

574
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: have to respect that.

575
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think that you should have to change

576
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 4: or anything. I think that going to therapy is a

577
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 4: good thing for him to one maybe get a name

578
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 4: to why he feels like this and a way for

579
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 4: him to be like, and this is the reason why,

580
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 4: like it's not in my head that I can't make

581
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 4: myself have these feelings, like there's been something behind it.

582
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 4: And as he's already learning how to unmask a little bit.

583
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think he can't even explain it.

584
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 4: He's just like that's how I feel, which can make

585
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 4: you feel just like you're going a little nuts because

586
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 4: you don't know why you can't do what other people

587
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 4: seem to be so easily able.

588
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 3: To do, or yeah, how to respond.

589
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 4: So just having that is sometimes such a relief.

590
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 3: But I think now, coming to this where we're at

591
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 3: in the story, I don't think. I don't think anyone

592
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 3: here is really an a hole.

593
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 4: Once it was over, I asked her if she could

594
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 4: tell me what I had, but she said it isn't

595
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 4: my area of expertise, though she did recommend me go

596
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 4: see a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist for a proper

597
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 4: diagnosis if I wanted, or I could write out my

598
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 4: thoughts as a way to externalize it and see it

599
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 4: from another viewpoint. So now I'm writing this post while

600
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 4: waiting for my appointment next month.

601
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 5: Scratch that.

602
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 4: My brother came here like an hour ago, banging on

603
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 4: the door and screaming, trying to get me outside to talk.

604
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 4: But I know he wants us to fight. I guess

605
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 4: what I said really hit a nerve with him. He

606
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 4: almost broke my window, throwing rocks at it, calling me

607
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 4: a chicken crap coward for running away while our mom

608
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 4: is a mess I could hear through his insults that

609
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 4: he was on the verge of tears, really angry tears.

610
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 4: After a while, he just left. But I don't think

611
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 4: I'll be going outside anytime soon. Just in case, I'll

612
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 4: put a word in with my professors that I won't

613
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 4: be present for a couple of days. I think I'm

614
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 4: shaking a bit. That is a lot op yeah, all around.

615
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 4: So I hope that your next appointment goes really well

616
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 4: and that you can get some answers that you're looking for.

617
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 3: I think you should also relay this to one of

618
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 3: the family members that you're close to dad, rather your

619
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 3: dad or your your aunt that you still talk to

620
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: and that aren't blocked and they still kind of try

621
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 3: to see your perspective. He's like, Hey, let everyone know

622
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 3: in the family. I'm trying to figure this out. You

623
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: don't even need to apologize kind of in a sense

624
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 3: right now. But you're like, I'm trying to figure this out.

625
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,719
Speaker 3: Please let me do it on my own accord, and

626
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: then if everyone's civil, we could do this like adults

627
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 3: once I figure it out, Because I'm you know, this

628
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: is what I've been used to, This is how my

629
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 3: brain has been processing things my entire life, and I

630
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,719
Speaker 3: just kind of recently discovered this where I'm like, maybe

631
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 3: this isn't right or something. You know, maybe there is

632
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 3: a reason for this, or there is a cause. Can

633
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: you guys respect that? Thanks again, at the end of

634
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 3: the day, I don't think anyone here is really the

635
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 3: a hole.

636
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 4: I'm yeah, I think I've said all my thoughts. I'd

637
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 4: just be repeating things at this point. But good luck

638
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 4: o P.

639
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 3: Good good luck o P. Hopefully you can discover more

640
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: about yourself and repair those bonds if you really want to. Again,

641
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: just now catching to the beginning of the story where

642
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: he's like, I fail at flirting with women.

643
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 4: I know I said that.

644
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 3: I'm it's just like it's all putting it all together now,

645
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 3: but speaking and putting all together. We're at the end

646
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,959
Speaker 3: of it. We put it all together for you, and

647
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 3: now we're done. That's the end of that story.

648
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: Sam here og host. We're going to get back to

649
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

650
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 5: First, my sister in law wants a perfect life and

651
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 5: she demands that we pay for it. You have to

652
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 5: pay My husband Ray thirty six mail and I thirty

653
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 5: five female. Have been together since we were seventeen and

654
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 5: married for seven years. We struggled for a while because

655
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 5: we were long distance during our early twenties, but against

656
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 5: all odds, we have made it work and have built

657
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 5: a happy life together. By the way, this comes from

658
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 5: claps of Mopsie and if you want to submit your

659
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 5: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suburt it.

660
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm.

661
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 4: Carly, and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice.

662
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 5: Goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We only

663
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 5: know what we'd do, so let us know what you

664
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 5: would do in the comments, and Op says I am

665
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 5: a successful researcher and my husband holds a job with

666
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 5: a well known NGO trying to find sustainable ways to

667
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 5: build up developing countries economies. We just bought my dream

668
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 5: apartment in Manhattan and are very content where we are currently.

669
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 5: We are childless and it'll probably stay that way. My

670
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 5: sister in law, Mary thirty eight female, lives in Boston

671
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 5: with her wife Jess thirty five female. We all see

672
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 5: each other pretty regularly since they often come to NYC

673
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 5: to shows and whatnot. For the entirety of Rays and

674
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 5: my relationship, I always had the feeling Mary didn't like

675
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 5: me much. She was always pretty rude to me, for example,

676
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 5: slamming doors in my face, telling Ray she wanted to

677
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 5: introduce him to her friends who thought he was hot,

678
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 5: and making snide remarks about my culture and heritage. I'm German,

679
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 5: they are Jewish. She isn't always rude. We've had fun together,

680
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 5: just never one on one. Mary is a very competitive person,

681
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 5: and I think she regrets some of the career choices

682
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 5: she's made. I do know she hates how close I

683
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 5: am with her and raised family. I also know that

684
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 5: some of her family value my relationship more than hers

685
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 5: because she's attracted to the same gender. I can't blame

686
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 5: her for being upset about that. Recently, as my husband

687
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 5: and I have really started making it in our careers,

688
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 5: we have been able to live a very comfortable life.

689
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 5: The apartment we just bought is big enough for us

690
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 5: and two children if we decide to have them, but

691
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 5: currently those rooms are a game room and a guest room. Ah,

692
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 5: having a game room would be awesome.

693
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 4: That's the dream, or like a lego. I was gonna say,

694
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 4: like a combined like office just a trinkets.

695
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 7: Yeah.

696
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 5: Games. Since we bought this apartment, Mary and Jess have

697
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 5: been visiting us more and more often. At first, it

698
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 5: was okay, we didn't mind having people in our house

699
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 5: every now and then, But now they visit nearly every week,

700
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 5: and they don't even bother to ask if they can

701
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 5: stay at our house until they are already in the city.

702
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 5: They don't spend any time visiting with us, and they

703
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 5: are so messy. I can barely stand it. What wait,

704
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 5: they're staying with you, but they're not actually hanging out

705
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 5: with you. Yeah, think dirty dishes everywhere, clothes thrown around

706
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 5: the room, and not making the bed when they leave

707
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 5: messed up. I once came home to find my kitchen

708
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 5: in a horrific state when they made lasagna, ate it

709
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 5: all and then had to run out the door to

710
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 5: catch their Broadway show. I mean, at that point, I'm like, Hey,

711
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 5: you can't stay here if you're going to treat my

712
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 5: house like yes, sorry, I.

713
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 4: Clean up after ours, so yes, even kids can do

714
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 4: the Yeah, I'm not OCD.

715
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, Carly's interested in what Broadway show?

716
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, I really did want to know that information well,

717
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 5: what Broadway show did you have to run out? Why

718
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 5: are we rushing to get to our Broadway shows? Handies

719
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 5: out people? You live in Manhattan, but I work hard

720
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 5: to keep things clean, and after a long day, I

721
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 5: want to come home to my clean apartment. They once

722
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 5: gave so little noticed it clashed with some friends staying

723
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 5: with us and we had to turn them away at

724
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 5: the door. This was met with whining and a temper

725
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 5: tantrum where we have a five year old from Mary

726
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 5: until Jess dragged her away. We have asked them to

727
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 5: stop coming unannounced and to clean up, which resulted in

728
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 5: them scheduling ahead for a while and then just slipping

729
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 5: into old patterns again and again. I think we've talked

730
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 5: about this before. When you set a boundary, you need

731
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 5: to enforce it because otherwise they're gonna walk all over

732
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 5: you and know that you won't do anything about it.

733
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 5: So it sounds like they're not always staying with them.

734
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 4: They just visit and stay.

735
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 5: With the visit.

736
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm wondering if they literally they're just like, we're

737
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 4: coming in to see a broad we showed it.

738
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 5: Probably, and then they make the house. And I think

739
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 5: what I would do is you say, you set the boundary.

740
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 5: You say, hey, we need notice and you need to

741
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 5: clean up, and if you don't do that, then you

742
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,719
Speaker 5: can't stay with us. Yeah. And then if they revert

743
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 5: back to their old habits and don't give you notice

744
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 5: and don't clean up, you say, sorry, can't stay with us,

745
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 5: Turn away from.

746
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 2: That the door.

747
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 5: Yeah. Since my husband and I have a bit of

748
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 5: cash to spare, we recently decided to help my sister,

749
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 5: thirty two females and her husband buy a house back

750
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 5: in Germany. We lent them part of the money they

751
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 5: needed for the down payment at a zero percent in

752
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 5: interest rate, which they have ten years time to pay

753
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 5: us back in small amounts. My sister has always been

754
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 5: very responsible and I have no doubt that we will

755
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 5: see this money again. When Mary found out what we

756
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 5: had done, she practically demanded that we help her and

757
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 5: Jess out financially. They have always wanted children and tried

758
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 5: with a baby juice downer, but I have had no

759
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 5: success the three times they've tried. They want to start

760
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 5: doing IVF but can barely afford it, so she wants

761
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 5: us to pay for it. I was very taken aback

762
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 5: by this demand, so was Ray, and we said we

763
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 5: would think about it. We have talked about it since,

764
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 5: and our leaning towards saying no. We know how much

765
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 5: they want a child, but we feel that IVF isn't

766
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 5: the same as making an investment for a house. We

767
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 5: also know they'll have difficulty paying us back, and we're

768
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 5: scared if we say yes now, the demands will just continue.

769
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 5: Mary and Ray were never close even as children, whereas

770
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,399
Speaker 5: my sister and I have been very close ever since

771
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 5: she was born. I know some of this stuff may

772
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 5: sound petty, but both Ray and I really value our

773
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 5: privacy and we are a bit unsure how to proceed here.

774
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 5: Mary and Ray's family have always handled Mary with kid

775
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 5: gloves since their parents divorced. Ray describes her as wanting

776
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 5: to have the perfect life and getting upset when she doesn't,

777
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 5: and no one in her family wants to be the

778
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 5: reason her life isn't perfect, and usually responds to her

779
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 5: fits and demands with, EH, that's just how she is.

780
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,760
Speaker 5: Just give her what she wants and it'll be fine.

781
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 5: I really don't just want to give in here, but

782
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 5: I also really value the relationships I have built with

783
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 5: Ray and Mary's family and don't want to jeopardize those.

784
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 5: My husband is pretty non confrontational. He just shuts down

785
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 5: at it. I guess I'm looking for a tactful way

786
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 5: for both me and my husband to stop all of this.

787
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 5: Any advice is welcome, and there are some comments, But

788
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 5: what do you think tell them no, Yeah, I don't know.

789
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,919
Speaker 4: I feel like we just need to flat out be like, hey,

790
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 4: we helped you in the house.

791
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, we always with a lot of already haven't really

792
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 5: seen that, you know.

793
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is something that we just don't think that

794
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 4: we can do for so sorry. I really hope it

795
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,720
Speaker 4: works out for you, though.

796
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 5: I think you just again need to showcase that you

797
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 5: can set boundaries. Yeah, you're in laws.

798
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 4: If you continue to not hold them, they're gonna continue

799
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 4: to push and push and push, yeah, and you'll keep caving.

800
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 5: I think setting the boundaries now will even maybe you know,

801
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 5: not necessarily, but might improve the relationship.

802
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, Nora says, saying no shouldn't jeopardize the relationship. Otherwise,

803
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 4: there was expectations with the connection exactly.

804
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 5: They wanted something out of you, and that's the only

805
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 5: reason that they've been over. Comment one says, ultimately, you

806
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 5: and Ray need to go low contact with her, stop

807
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 5: letting her stay with you ever, because she wife have

808
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 5: zero boundaries or respect and nothing will ever be enough.

809
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 5: It's absolutely outrageous that they expect you to pay for IVF.

810
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 5: I'm afraid that won't be possible. We can't accommodate you. No,

811
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 5: it is actually a complete sentence. But honestly, your husband

812
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 5: asked to be completely on board, and I'm getting the

813
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 5: sense that will waiver because family. But when family are

814
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 5: a holes, they don't get the same. Oh, he says.

815
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 5: I always feel bad for them, though I know they

816
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 5: don't need my pity, but they are not at the

817
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 5: point in life they thought they'd be. Mary is frustrated

818
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 5: with her career, just didn't pass the exams to become

819
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 5: a doctor. Yet, they don't have children yet. We can

820
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 5: technically afford to help them out. It's just the way

821
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 5: they basically demanded it. I'll speak to Ray about this,

822
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 5: Common two says. It seems to me that this is

823
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 5: the typical situation of family members wanting more than they

824
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 5: should get just because they're family. They heard about your

825
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 5: sister and automatically assume they should get some money as well.

826
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 5: As others said, be correct but keep it at a

827
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 5: cordial No. You seem like responsible people, you know who

828
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 5: was able to handle the money and to be trusted

829
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,919
Speaker 5: with it. And Mary broke your trust when it came

830
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 5: to small things. Why trust her with big things like

831
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 5: a heap of cash. Update? So last night, after I posted,

832
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,760
Speaker 5: Ray and I sat down and discussed what we wanted

833
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 5: to do. I told them all about this post and stuff.

834
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 5: Ray agreed with me on most of the stuff, although

835
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 5: he didn't mind Mary and Justice coming over and being

836
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,880
Speaker 5: messy as much as I did. But he said that

837
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 5: if I was really bothered by this, this was something

838
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 5: we needed to address. On Tuesday, we are driving to

839
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 5: a town in upstate New York to see Ray's family

840
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 5: for Thanksgiving. Mary and Jess will be there too, And

841
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 5: while we want to get this out of the way

842
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 5: before the holidays, I don't think that'll be possible because

843
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 5: we want to do it before the holidays because we

844
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 5: want to do it in person if at all possible.

845
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 5: So we're thinking on Tuesday or Wednesday, we might sit

846
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 5: Mary and Jess down and talk to them. This is

847
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 5: what we thought we do. Ray will be the one

848
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 5: doing most of the talking, as it's his sister. He

849
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 5: does have a big problem with confrontations, so we went

850
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 5: over what we say and possible responses. He'd lead with

851
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 5: asking him to please not come to our apartment unannounced anymore.

852
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 5: He will be saying that these surprise visits are wearing

853
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 5: us down, that we feel they don't respect our space

854
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 5: because of the messes, the unannounced visits, et cetera. He'll

855
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 5: say that if they show up at our house or

856
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 5: call thirty minutes before they arrive, they won't be staying

857
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 5: with us period. But uh, there is a little bit

858
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 5: left to this story. Any final thoughts.

859
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 4: I feel like most of my thoughts stay the same.

860
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 4: I think a conversation is really good to have. I

861
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 4: did mix up, I think when I was speaking earlier

862
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 4: about who the house was for. But it still stands

863
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 4: like you still can't just expect that because someone else

864
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 4: got that same thing.

865
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 5: And it's like, op, he is a closer relationship.

866
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 4: Right, and you haven't been showing that you're reliable and

867
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 4: trustworthy on her part.

868
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 5: You gotta Yeah, you have to prove that you're gonna

869
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 5: be responsible with that money.

870
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, so a conversation a great step. Yeah, I want

871
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 4: to know where in New York.

872
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 5: You're going yes, and what Broadway show gotta finish the story? Secondly,

873
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 5: you'll be saying that we were a bit offended that

874
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 5: they would just demand for us to pay for their

875
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 5: IVF treatment. He is simply going to say we can't

876
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 5: afford that at this moment. If they whine, it's just

877
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 5: gotta be nope, over and over again. I would love

878
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 5: your input on this matter. Should Ray talk to Mary

879
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 5: one on one or should we talk all four of us?

880
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,919
Speaker 5: Should this wait until after Thanksgiving? Or should Ray talk

881
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,399
Speaker 5: to her on the phone today? Anyway, thanks for all

882
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 5: possible inut and common one says he's simply going to

883
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 5: say we can't afford that at this moment, so giving

884
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 5: them the hope that they will get it. Yes, if

885
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 5: they pester you in the future. Comment two says, people

886
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 5: who are reasonable can handle explanations. Justin Mary have shown

887
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 5: themselves to be unreasonable, so they don't get explanations. They

888
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 5: just get told what you guys are doing, which is

889
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 5: we're not paying you for IVF treatments and we're not

890
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,760
Speaker 5: hosting you without receiving notice of your visit x days before.

891
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 5: You don't have to explain anything beyond that because they

892
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 5: are unreasonable and will challenge and try to manipulate any

893
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 5: further explanation. You're going to have to treat them like

894
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 5: petulant children until they can show they can act like

895
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 5: mature adults. And that is the end of that story.

896
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 3: Folks.

897
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: Hey is John Oji host. We're gonna get back to

898
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 2: the stories, but a quick three minute break of ads

899
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 2: from our sponsors.

900
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 7: My mother in law said, I ruined her joy because

901
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 7: I won't let her hijack my pregnancy.

902
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 5: But I want to be involved no.

903
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 2: Within reason.

904
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 7: Things weren't always bad, but they did progressively get worse.

905
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 7: It went from seeing my mother in law and double

906
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 7: dating maybe once a month to once a week.

907
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 2: For a few hours together to several hours.

908
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,439
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from user Chelsea Marie seventy nine,

909
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 7: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

910
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 7: to the our sliz Showkay Storytime, subredd it.

911
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to

912
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 2: give you good advice.

913
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 7: Goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We only

914
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 7: know what we would do, So if you would do

915
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 7: something different, let us know in the comments.

916
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: As op says.

917
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 7: At one point, my mother in law mentioned she wanted

918
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 7: to do Disney for Christmas, and jokingly we said yes,

919
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 7: thinking she wouldn't follow through.

920
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 3: We were wrong.

921
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 7: The whole trip was chaos. She literally complained about anything

922
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 7: and everything. She would complain we parked too far away,

923
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 7: then complain we drove around too long looking for closer parking.

924
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 7: After we came back from that vacation, we took a

925
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,359
Speaker 7: several month hiatus and didn't talk to her other than

926
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 7: the occasional call. Then, after over a year of trying,

927
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 7: we found out I.

928
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 5: Was pregnant, dregnant, and.

929
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 7: Things got progressively worse. Oh no, I hate to see it.

930
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 5: They never found parking, They never found that parking spot.

931
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,240
Speaker 7: From the moment we told my mother in law about

932
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 7: my pregnancy, it became all about her. In fact, we

933
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 7: told her last out of everyone, because we knew how.

934
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 2: She would react.

935
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 7: She always has a way of trying to pin my

936
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 7: husband and me against each other. We also knew she

937
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 7: would cause a huge scene when we did tell her,

938
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 7: so of course we did it in a public restaurant.

939
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: She freaked out and told.

940
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 7: Every employee there about how she was going to be

941
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 7: a grandma her questions and overbearing personality started right away.

942
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 7: She invited herself over for breakfast one day. We suggested

943
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 7: she pick up breakfast from a local restaurant and bring it,

944
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 7: but she instead brought all the ingredients for my husband

945
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 7: and me to make her eggs benedict from scratch. After breakfast,

946
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 7: my husband and his stepdad went to the kitchen to

947
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 7: do dishes, and she took her chance to start asking

948
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 7: her questions. First, she asked who would be in the

949
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 7: delivery room. I told her it would be my husband

950
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 7: and my day. My dad and I have a super

951
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 7: close relationship. I never had a mom growing up, so

952
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 7: our bond is unbreakable. He bought me my first deodorant,

953
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 7: my first box of tampons, was there through a scare

954
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 7: every step of the way, taught me basic car maintenance,

955
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 7: and gave me my work ethic right away. She told

956
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 7: me it was disgusting that I would want him there

957
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 7: and that he shouldn't be because it's super inappropriate.

958
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 2: Weird energy.

959
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, started off with that egg's benedict.

960
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, come on, how are you gonna say, I'm gonna

961
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 7: invite myself over for breakfast and you're cooking me eggs, benedict,

962
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 7: I bought the ingredients.

963
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, what you can't be doing that if you're bringing

964
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 5: the ingredients, so you gotta make that food.

965
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: Second, she asked if we had names picked out.

966
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 7: I told her middle names are passed down in my family,

967
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 7: so yes, that's already decided, but my husband would be

968
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 7: picking out the first name.

969
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 2: My husband felt blindsided.

970
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 7: Because she made such a big deal, asking how he

971
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 7: would allow me to make such a critical decision without

972
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 7: his say.

973
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: And that's when you just go, well, she's my wife.

974
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: She's my wife, my mom.

975
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 5: My wife. She's delivering in the delivery room.

976
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 2: That's my wife.

977
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 7: It's actually she's giving birth to the baby. So she

978
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 7: actually has a say in the name.

979
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

980
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 7: From the beginning, we told her we were going to

981
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 7: wait to find out the gender until it was born.

982
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 7: So of course you know what happens next, she wanted

983
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 7: to give us a gift. It turns out right away

984
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 7: she started buying little girl clothes and items, including dressing

985
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 7: my potential son in a pink frilly dress with a

986
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 7: matching headband.

987
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 5: And he'll kill that.

988
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 7: And he's so good, he would slay you would slay that,

989
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 7: my husband said. We told you, we were waiting to

990
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 7: find out the gender. She told us she was just

991
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 7: excited and couldn't help herself, to which I responded, I

992
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 7: get you're excited, but you could at least respect our

993
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,880
Speaker 7: wishes and buy something neutral. As they were leaving, she

994
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 7: tried to take our car seat, meant for my husband's car,

995
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 7: stating that she needed it more than him, that once

996
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 7: we get released from the hospital, she needs the car

997
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,439
Speaker 7: seat so she can take the baby to her house

998
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 7: so I can rest and recover.

999
00:44:55,560 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 2: You're crazy, Yeah, that's you're crazy. I'm sorry.

1000
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 5: No, oh, he's taking the baby home and then if

1001
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 5: she needs a little rest and relaxation, her husband, the

1002
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 5: father of the baby, is gonna be taking care of

1003
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 5: the baby.

1004
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is his I'm all for being helpful.

1005
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 7: Was like the in laws, but like just being like,

1006
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 7: I'm gonna just take your baby my house.

1007
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 5: That's my baby.

1008
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you can help at their house. Yeah,

1009
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 2: crazy thought, crazy thought.

1010
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 7: So yes, she said that she could take the baby

1011
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 7: to her house so I can rest and recover, as

1012
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 7: I would have just given birth.

1013
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,760
Speaker 2: After a swift no goodbye and a quick lock.

1014
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 7: Of the door, my husband and I both just looked

1015
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,720
Speaker 7: at each other in disbelief. Fast forward a few weeks,

1016
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 7: she insisted on us going out to dinner, and we met.

1017
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 2: Her at Cactus Club right away.

1018
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 7: The first thing she tried to do as we were

1019
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 7: waiting for our table was lift up my shirt and

1020
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 7: pulled down my high rise leggings because she needed to

1021
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 7: see my bump. She always tries to mother me, which

1022
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 7: never sits well. As I have a very bad history.

1023
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 2: With my own mother, who was super harmful.

1024
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 7: My husband always asks her to respect the boundary, but

1025
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 7: she never does. I asked her what the heck she

1026
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 7: was doing and swatted her away for pulling my clothes

1027
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 7: off in public. Finally we got a table and sat down.

1028
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 7: She asked us for an ultrasound photo. Unfortunately, all we

1029
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 7: had been given up to this point was a five

1030
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,280
Speaker 7: week ultrasound of our little bean, so we told her, sorry,

1031
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,919
Speaker 7: no updated photos yet. She then went on to tell

1032
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 7: me how it was embarrassing, how now at twenty weeks,

1033
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 7: all she has is her five week ultrasound photo to

1034
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 7: show people, and that a five week photo is just

1035
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 7: a blob.

1036
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: I told her that was a little.

1037
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 7: Rude, as my husband and I had been trying for

1038
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 7: over a year to get pregnant, and for us, that

1039
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 7: five week ultrasound was everything. She then went on a

1040
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 7: tangent about how we got married in private with only

1041
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 7: our witnesses and she doesn't have photos to post online

1042
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 7: to show her friends. We explained for the millionth time,

1043
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 7: we don't want photos online, which is why they weren't

1044
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 7: given out.

1045
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, she does not get it, She's think, but what

1046
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 5: about my Facebook followers? What about my loyal audience of

1047
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 5: ten older women.

1048
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 7: She just feels like the person who's like, it's so

1049
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 7: embarrassing that the things that I willingly post online like

1050
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 7: paint me as like a person you don't care about.

1051
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like, maybe just stop it, just stop it,

1052
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 5: stop posting online. Yeah, easy, easy peasy.

1053
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 7: Unfortunately, due to my past with my own mother, there's

1054
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 7: a lot we keep private. She then promised she wouldn't

1055
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 7: post them, but she can't stop her husband from posting

1056
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 7: what he wants online.

1057
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 2: Fast forward a few more weeks to Christmas.

1058
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 7: At this point, my belly was just starting the show,

1059
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 7: and we also knew the gender, as the ultrasound tech

1060
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 7: had slipped up a few weeks earlier and told us

1061
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 7: we got to the event, and one of the first

1062
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 7: things she did was cough in both of our faces

1063
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 7: and say, don't worry, I'm not contagious.

1064
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: It's just viral. Hey, goofball.

1065
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 5: Do we know the definition of viral?

1066
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 2: You know, a virus is contagious.

1067
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,959
Speaker 5: She's like, no, no, no, no, don't worry. The doctor said

1068
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 5: it was just viral.

1069
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 2: Don't worry. I'm not contagious.

1070
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,760
Speaker 5: Oh the doctor just said it was the plague.

1071
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 2: It's not congestious, it's just pneumonia.

1072
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 7: My husband asked if she went to a doctor, and

1073
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 7: of course she said, no.

1074
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:12,399
Speaker 5: Oh my good, my pet Keeve is when when people

1075
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 5: are like, I'm not contagious anymore, but they're just assuming. Yeah,

1076
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 5: you know when they're like coughing and they're like, no, no, no,

1077
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 5: it's been a couple time. I'm not contagious anymore.

1078
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1079
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 5: How do you know that?

1080
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 2: I mean, Christian, all of you, all of you. I

1081
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 2: was not contagious.

1082
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:29,439
Speaker 5: How do you know.

1083
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 7: When your symptoms resolve, you lose like ninety five percent

1084
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 7: of your contagiousness.

1085
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 8: But it's funny because someone else got sick.

1086
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 2: I honestly don't think you had what I had.

1087
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think I got whatever Christian had.

1088
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, because Christian was out much longer, my.

1089
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 7: Husband took a breath and told her we found out

1090
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 7: we're having a boy. She's instantly disappointed, stating she already

1091
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 7: bought dolls at Dollhouse and a little makeup table. I'm

1092
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 7: cranky at this point and say, we told you from

1093
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 7: the beginning we.

1094
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 2: Didn't want to know.

1095
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 7: After your last gift, we asked you to respect our wishes.

1096
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 7: You just keep crossing the line, don't you. She kept

1097
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 7: insisting we take selfie's for Facebook. My husband and I

1098
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 7: both said we would rather not do to privacy, and

1099
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 7: she then got angry. He proceeded to say he doesn't

1100
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 7: want his photos out there either, and in the past

1101
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 7: he wouldn't have said anything, but finally he feels like

1102
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 7: he can say how he really feels.

1103
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 2: And she was not pleased.

1104
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 7: We left the venue to go to a pub for dinner.

1105
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 7: We got to the pub and right away she didn't

1106
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 7: miss a beat, given me a hard time about not

1107
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 7: wanting to lift my clothes up and show off my stomach. Eventually,

1108
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 7: she brought up the eventual labor and delivery situation, asking

1109
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,760
Speaker 7: if we would allow visitors right away after the baby

1110
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 7: was born. She said she wanted to know as soon

1111
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 7: as we were going to the hospital so she could

1112
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 7: wait in the waiting room. We explained to her that

1113
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 7: we would not be having any visitors until we were

1114
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 7: at home and ready. We wanted time to bond and

1115
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 7: figure things out. She proceeded to tell me that I'm

1116
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 7: ruining your joy and she's never been disrespected like this before.

1117
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 7: My husband chimed in, saying, she's ruining the price Nancy

1118
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 7: for us, constantly judging everything and making me uncomfortable. Fast

1119
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 7: forward to our baby shower. The baby shower she was

1120
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 7: originally supposed to plan, However, after making rude comments about

1121
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 7: who we choose to invite, we decided to let my

1122
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 7: sister plan the party. My mother in law tried to

1123
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 7: take it over, wanting to play games to try to

1124
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 7: pin us against each other. The day after the shower,

1125
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 7: though my sister reached out to me, my mother in

1126
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 7: law had emailed her asking her to tell her when

1127
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 7: we go to the hospital because she intends to be

1128
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 7: at the hospital, even though we already told her we

1129
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 7: didn't want visitors there. The following day, my husband's aunt

1130
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 7: reached out to us, saying that his mother had said

1131
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 7: the same to her, and I followed up with my

1132
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 7: husband's stepmom, only to find out she tried to do

1133
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 7: the same to her as well. We told all of

1134
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 7: them what was going on and to please not tell

1135
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,839
Speaker 7: her anything. Finally, enough is enough. I sent my mother

1136
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 7: in law an email. I said that it had come

1137
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 7: to my attention that although we told her no one

1138
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 7: would be welcome to visit at the hospital and we

1139
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 7: would tell people when we were ready for visitors at home,

1140
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 7: we were aware she had tried to reach out to

1141
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 7: multiple people to get access to information. I explained that

1142
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 7: we would appreciate her respecting our wishes. I also added

1143
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 7: that the hospital is already aware not to confirm we

1144
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 7: are even there or to let any visitors in. Showing

1145
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 7: up unannounced and unwelcomed will not be tolerated. I explained

1146
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 7: that she mentioned many times we're ruining her joy, but

1147
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 7: she has honestly ruined all of our joy with this

1148
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 7: pregnancy and made it all about her. That yes, this

1149
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 7: may be her first grandchild, but this is our first

1150
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 7: child and we want to.

1151
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: Be able to experience it the way we want. Just

1152
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 2: put her on a boat, man, put her on that

1153
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 2: pregnancy boat.

1154
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 5: She can go on one of those swan boats and

1155
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 5: view everything from far away.

1156
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 2: That boat, cruise boat, Alaskan fishing boat. I don't care.

1157
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 8: She just needs to get on a boat.

1158
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, put her on Deadliest Catch.

1159
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 3: I didn't mean.

1160
00:51:55,800 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 2: I meant any boat alive today, well a RP the Titanic.

1161
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 7: I also mentioned that prior to the pregnancy, I was

1162
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 7: on an antidepressant and my doctor advised me to stop

1163
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 7: taking them for the sake of the pregnancy, and that

1164
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 7: now we were likely going to experience a bad case

1165
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 7: of postpartum depression. We would not recommend, yeahood, would not recommend.

1166
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Preach brother.

1167
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 7: We wanted time to make sure we're good. We wanted

1168
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 7: a stress free environment. Of course, she lost her absolute mind,

1169
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 7: started calling and emailing my husband NonStop about how we

1170
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 7: have ruined her life. She felt like her child had

1171
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 7: passed away. She was emailing me NonStop about how I'm

1172
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 7: a liar ruined her son, and she would never forgive me.

1173
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 2: Finally, he had enough and blocked her.

1174
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 7: Isn't it crazy how she could have just had all

1175
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 7: the access in the world to her grandchild and instead,

1176
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,240
Speaker 7: literally through her own actions, has.

1177
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 5: Lost contact with her son too, Because dude, once you go.

1178
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,839
Speaker 2: Off the rails, you and you come at my wife like.

1179
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:58,399
Speaker 5: It's over, it's over.

1180
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 7: It's like that's never all a light. Well, that's the

1181
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 7: woman who I'm married to, and I'm having a child

1182
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 7: with her, and we're gonna raise our child together. So

1183
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 7: for you to come at her so far, we are

1184
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 7: no longer okay, Yeah, things are no longer chill, and

1185
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 7: they won't be until you take a lot of steps

1186
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 7: and a lot of.

1187
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: Time to make things right.

1188
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 5: Take a lap.

1189
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 2: So ope, he continues.

1190
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,800
Speaker 7: Things were good for a while, even with her leaving voicemails. However,

1191
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 7: recently she's been reaching out to our extended family members

1192
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 7: and friends from our baby shower again, trying to get

1193
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 7: information as the due date gets closer. Thankfully, all the

1194
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,919
Speaker 7: people she's reached out to have told her the same thing,

1195
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 7: that she needs to respect our wishes and boundaries. Fast

1196
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 7: forward a few months. My father in law was staying

1197
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 7: with us to finish our kitchen renovation before our little

1198
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 7: man arrived. I was about a week and a half

1199
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 7: for my due date when I got super sick. I

1200
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 7: ended up in emergency for two bags of fluids and

1201
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 7: was sent home. My water broke in the middle of

1202
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 7: the night, and at three am we were off to

1203
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 7: the hospital, leaving my father in law at home. Things

1204
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 7: quickly progressed the baby. He was in distress and they

1205
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 7: were calling a code blue. I called my dad and

1206
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 7: he rushed to the hospital. Within eight minutes of my

1207
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 7: bed being rolled out of the room, our baby boy

1208
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 7: made his entrance on March night. He needed his lungs

1209
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 7: flushed and stomach pumped, but he turned out just fine.

1210
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1211
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 8: A code blow is an emergency code that indicates a

1212
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 8: patient is experiencing cardiac or respiratory arrest.

1213
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 5: Oh that's terrifying.

1214
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, the and this was for op wow. Yep.

1215
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 5: Hey, well, I'm glad you you know, were able to

1216
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 5: get to the hospital.

1217
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 2: The body and sea is scary, yeah and hard.

1218
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 8: The body police were trying to arrest her because she

1219
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 8: was going through cardiac arrest.

1220
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 7: You got me, okay. My dad didn't stay long. On

1221
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 7: the way out, he told me he had talked to

1222
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 7: the hospital staff and told them zero visitors. Eventually, my

1223
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 7: father in law reached out and we told him a

1224
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 7: few hours later that the baby was born. We stayed

1225
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 7: in the hospital a few days before we were both released.

1226
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 7: The only people who knew about the baby once we

1227
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 7: got home were both are workplaces, my husband's aunt, and

1228
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 7: a few friend. We told my husband's mother the baby

1229
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 7: was born about two weeks later.

1230
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 2: She ended up coming for a visit and overstayed her welcome.

1231
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:11,240
Speaker 5: She did, of course, she did the classic move, doesn't

1232
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:12,240
Speaker 5: know any other moves.

1233
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 7: She couldn't respect our wishes, kept trying to kiss the baby,

1234
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 7: wouldn't let us keep to our feeding schedule because she

1235
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 7: knew he wasn't hungry, and then told me it was

1236
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 7: uncomfortable for her when I was pumping in the living

1237
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 7: room of my own home, insisting I should go to

1238
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 7: the bedroom.

1239
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 2: Well, then new leave, Maybe you should just go home

1240
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: to your home.

1241
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 5: You don't have to stay here.

1242
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 8: Honestly, I would feel uncomfortable if someone was flexing, Like

1243
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 8: if I was a guest someone's house, someone was just

1244
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 8: flexing all the time, I'd be like, could you not

1245
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 8: do that?

1246
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 4: Here?

1247
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 2: My house? My house. I'll flex what I want to

1248
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 2: all flex.

1249
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 7: The next time we saw her was on Mother's Day

1250
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 7: at a restaurant for breakfast. It all went sort of

1251
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 7: well until she reminded us we were invited to a

1252
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 7: heart party, a party to celebrate the ten year anniversary

1253
00:55:56,400 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 7: of her cardiac arrest. And oh, by the way, my

1254
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 7: husband's ex was invited and had said she was coming.

1255
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 7: When asked why she invited, said X. Her response was, oh,

1256
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,839
Speaker 7: she was there when I had the episode. Without her,

1257
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 7: I would have passed away.

1258
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 2: This was news to me.

1259
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 7: My husband was upset and told her we wouldn't be

1260
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 7: coming as it was too uncomfortable. She started to cause

1261
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 7: a scene while holding the baby. I calmly got up,

1262
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 7: told my husband to get the baby back and to

1263
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 7: meet me when he was ready, then walked to the car.

1264
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 7: She was screaming across the restaurant as I walked away, yelling,

1265
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 7: you always need to raise drama. Oh, if you're screaming

1266
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 7: while holding my baby, you're never holding.

1267
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 2: My baby again.

1268
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 5: Pot me cattle, you always caused drama. Let's look in

1269
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 5: a mirror. Mother in law. Mm mm mmm, we've got freakin'

1270
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 5: oscar winter. Mother in law over here.

1271
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 7: This woman is driving me crazy crazy. My husband came

1272
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 7: out so upset. She apparently kept screaming in the restaurant

1273
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 7: and refused to give back the baby. A matress had

1274
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:03,760
Speaker 7: to step in literally no contacts.

1275
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 5: Like no contact, zero contexts to give back my baby.

1276
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 5: You're never seeing them against.

1277
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 7: Screaming while holding my baby. Get out of here, Get

1278
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:13,360
Speaker 7: out of here. The next time we saw her was

1279
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 7: in June for my husband's birthday. Again at another restaurant

1280
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 7: for dinner. She made a reservation for four forgetting. We

1281
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 7: had a newborn in a car seat. Thank god, he

1282
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 7: slept the entire time. Before we left for the restaurant.

1283
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 7: We fed the baby, he was still on a strict

1284
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 7: three hour schedule due to his weight loss during our

1285
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 7: traumatic birth experience. When we went to pull him out

1286
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 7: and feed him, my husband's mother proceeded to tell me

1287
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 7: that I'm a bad mom for waking him up. I

1288
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,439
Speaker 7: tried to explain to her our rationale, although she didn't

1289
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 7: need an explanation. She went on a tangent about how

1290
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 7: I'm a horrible parent.

1291
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 5: And you just say, shut up. This is see why

1292
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 5: are we like seeing her?

1293
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 2: This is the epitome of a silly baby parent.

1294
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 7: I was in tears at this point and my husband

1295
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:58,479
Speaker 7: was telling her off. She's going on about how rude

1296
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,200
Speaker 7: I am. I got up and left the rest in tears.

1297
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 7: The waitress grabbed me at the front door to ask

1298
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 7: if I was okay and if I needed a ride.

1299
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 7: She was again screaming across the restaurant as I walked away, yelling, you.

1300
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 5: Always need a cause drama everywhere you go. That's I

1301
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 5: just don't understand how she could do all that and

1302
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 5: just not compute that she's she's bringing so much attention

1303
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 5: to herself.

1304
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 2: Delusion, delusion.

1305
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 7: I waited in the car for an hour before my

1306
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 7: husband came out with the baby. We didn't talk to

1307
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 7: her after that for quite some time. He blocked her number.

1308
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 7: Then one day my husband was acting weird. It took

1309
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 7: me two days of questioning him before he finally told

1310
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 7: me she had left a voicemail. She went on her

1311
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 7: normal rant, this is not my son. He is passed away.

1312
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 7: He would never treat his mother like this. You're overreacting.

1313
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 7: When she stopped getting a response from him, she reached

1314
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 7: out to me, which was a first. She went on

1315
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 7: about how I'm a harmful wife for keeping my husband

1316
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 7: from his mother, and that I'm keeping my child from

1317
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 7: having any sort of grandparents, calling me a terrible mother.

1318
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 7: I was so proud of myself I calmly and diplomatically responded,

1319
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:09,919
Speaker 7: explaining every single reason why we were where we were,

1320
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 7: including previous texts, emails, and messages.

1321
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 2: Where she had said these hurtful things.

1322
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 7: She went on about how I'm a liar and that

1323
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 7: all those emails in texts she sent were fake. I

1324
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 7: told her I too would be blocking her and no

1325
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 7: longer having a relationship with her, and that it was

1326
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 7: unlikely she would see my son again. All was great

1327
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 7: for about a month and a half, and then she

1328
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 7: randomly showed up at our house unannounced, banging on the door.

1329
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 7: My husband, in a sleep deprived state, didn't recognize her

1330
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 7: new car and opened the door. She caused a scene

1331
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 7: in the driveway, and my husband told her to leave.

1332
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 7: She begged for him to keep in touch with her

1333
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 7: and to see the baby. He said no and went inside.

1334
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, hold your boundaries old and strong.

1335
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 7: Absolutely, we have a little bit more story left here.

1336
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 7: But I think no contact is all that you have.

1337
00:59:58,440 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 2: I think you had been left with it.

1338
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think that she's proven that she literally cannot

1339
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 5: accept that she has done anything wrong, refuses to even

1340
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 5: admit that she sent texts like that's a step above unreasonable.

1341
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 5: When you're literally saying the text that you sent are fit.

1342
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you fake that, you're lying. You're all

1343
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 2: conspiring against me news.

1344
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 5: It's like you sent those texts. What are you talking about?

1345
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 7: I think the all you can really do now is, well,

1346
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 7: you op should probably have nothing to do with her.

1347
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 2: I think you're partner seeing as it's his mother. Can

1348
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 2: maybe just be like, hey, you're my mom.

1349
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 7: We can't maintain this, so I'm not really going to

1350
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 7: maintain contact with you.

1351
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 2: But I hope that you can.

1352
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 7: Get your issues addressed, because clearly you're suffering from something.

1353
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 7: Hopefully you can go to therapy and better yourself and

1354
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 7: come to an understanding that your behavior has been unacceptable

1355
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 7: and then maybe we could take it from there exactly.

1356
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 2: But other than that, there's nothing we could do at

1357
01:00:58,200 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 2: this point.

1358
01:00:58,600 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 5: It's like itself.

1359
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the.

1360
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,480
Speaker 7: Kid, like it feels like you would be yeah, I

1361
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 7: mean like she literally would not give your kid back

1362
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 7: to you, Like that is dangerous.

1363
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,439
Speaker 2: You standing there screaming with my kid in your arms,

1364
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 2: not giving him back. Nah. I just don't trust you anymore. Nope.

1365
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 5: I didn't trust you from the parking job that you

1366
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 5: did a while ago.

1367
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's finish this story. Let's do now. We're in October.

1368
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 7: Our little man is seven months old. My husband's aunt

1369
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 7: reached out to us the other day, letting us know

1370
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 7: she has a lunch meeting with his mom this coming Saturday.

1371
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 7: His aunt asked if she could show his mom photos

1372
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 7: since she hasn't seen any since he was three months old.

1373
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 7: He said it was okay, although I don't agree with it.

1374
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 7: His aunt was always on the same page saying we

1375
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 7: should create distance because of how she was acting, calling

1376
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 7: it harmful, And now she's saying he needs to keep

1377
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 7: in touch with her.

1378
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 5: N uh uh.

1379
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 7: There is a balance there of like the harder you

1380
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 7: try to shut her out, the more persistent and maybe

1381
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 7: aggressive about it she might be. So maybe the aunt

1382
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 7: showing her seven month photos, Yeah, I actually kind of

1383
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 7: bring her ten. But you're down a little bit. There

1384
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,560
Speaker 7: is like a little bit of like arithmetics.

1385
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1386
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 7: Now I'm worried his mom will show up after their

1387
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 7: lunch meeting, since his aunt lives not very far from us.

1388
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 2: If she does, I fully intend to call the cops.

1389
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 7: All we wanted was for our personal space to be respected,

1390
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,800
Speaker 7: our wishes to be respected, and to have a chance

1391
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 7: to experience the joys of our first pregnancy and starting

1392
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 7: our new chapter raising our child.

1393
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.