Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Turning to our top story, the debate over a new
Speaker 2: immigration laws caused a rift between moderate Republicans who want
Speaker 2: to reform immigration without alienating Hispanic voters, and conservatives who
Speaker 2: would prefer to turn immigrants into some sort of food
Speaker 2: stuff for people on medicare.
Speaker 3: Soylent verde. If you will, I see you've all taken stanut,
Speaker 3: and I say done now. At the heart of this.
Speaker 2: Debate is a bill approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee
Speaker 2: that would let illegal aliens take steps towards citizenship. Those
Speaker 2: steps towards citizenship, learn English, pay taxes, and start resenting
Speaker 2: future immigrants. But critics say granting citizenship to illegal aliens
Speaker 2: amounts to amnesty for lawbreakers.
Speaker 3: Senator John McCain disagrees.
Speaker 4: This bill that came out of the Judiciary Committee effectively
Speaker 4: does grant amnesty to millions of immigrants who are now
Speaker 4: here illegally.
Speaker 5: Well, Charlie, that's just absolutely false. It allows them to
Speaker 5: earn citizenship.
Speaker 4: Well, I, at my peril get into an argument with
Speaker 4: the guy who has fashioned this bill over the definition
Speaker 4: of amnesty. But I said a moment ago, if they
Speaker 4: fulfill certain conditions, which you outline. But if illegal.
Speaker 5: Immigrantnesty, then it's not amnesty. Amnesty is forgiveness. This is
Speaker 5: this is payment of a fine.
Speaker 3: Replied Gibson. I see, well, I certainly don't want to.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: Clearly you've almost as amnesty the bill, and why would
Speaker 2: Charlie Gibson do that?
Speaker 3: Seems childish.
Speaker 2: The bill faces a competing proposal from Senator Bill Frist,
Speaker 2: seen here explaining to Southeast Asian children how tears transmit AIDS.
Speaker 2: He favors deportation for any illegals, and he explained his
Speaker 2: position on the Fox News show Hannity and his huddling
Speaker 2: sidekick Yearning to breathe free.
Speaker 6: He said, deshauned just a moment ago to hear illegally
Speaker 6: they should go back and get in line to come
Speaker 6: back in. But wouldn't that create an underground And you
Speaker 6: can't just deport eleven million people And that's just not
Speaker 6: a workable policy, is it?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 3: I think it is is workable.
Speaker 2: It's absolutely workable. I mean, just think about Elian Gonzales.
Speaker 3: How easy that was. Now just times that by eleven million.
Speaker 2: One of the most outspoken advocates for stronger immigration reform
Speaker 2: isn't a politician at all.
Speaker 3: But CNN's lou.
Speaker 2: Dobbs, whose guest Monday night, Hispanic rights activist Janet Mergia,
Speaker 2: defended protesters that were out there waving Mexican flags.
Speaker 8: There's a sense of pride with anybody. We just had
Speaker 8: Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 7: Are you saying that Irish because they're holding up their
Speaker 7: Irish flags, that all of a sudden they're not loyal
Speaker 7: or they're an American?
Speaker 9: You're ready to to me lobbing player, I'm here. I
Speaker 9: don't think that we should have any flag flying in
Speaker 9: this country except the flag of the United States. I
Speaker 9: don't think there should be a Saint Patrick's Day. I
Speaker 9: don't care who you are.
Speaker 3: With more.
Speaker 2: I'm joined by our resident expert, John Hodgman.
Speaker 3: John, thank you so much for.
Speaker 10: You are.
Speaker 2: And now I need to tell you you're a leading
Speaker 2: authority on immigration.
Speaker 8: Yes, that's true. In fact, the heartwarming tale of my
Speaker 8: own immigrant past titled My Grandparents were slav or Something
Speaker 8: comes out next Friday.
Speaker 3: Thanks for the play. You're very welcome, John. Why did
Speaker 3: this bill once again not even able to come up
Speaker 3: for a vote.
Speaker 2: Was the so called amnesty issue just too toxic for
Speaker 2: the Republican base.
Speaker 8: No, John, there was a larger con here, one that
Speaker 8: my fellow television experts have picked up.
Speaker 11: On, Chuck.
Speaker 2: Some illegal immigrants are bringing diseases back into the US
Speaker 2: that we thought were wiped out long ago.
Speaker 9: A lot of diseases are coming back, and it's because
Speaker 9: these twelve million illegals who come across the border.
Speaker 8: Now, Professor Gibson and doctor Buchanan have it exactly right.
Speaker 8: The immigration debate. Was it hard a public health issue?
Speaker 8: I'll be blunt, John, Illegal aliens have tuberculosis and leprosy.
Speaker 3: John, were not. You can't.
Speaker 2: You can't possibly be talking about tuberculosis and leprosy, Chuck.
Speaker 10: Hey, John, Yeah, we're talking about tuberculosis and leprosy.
Speaker 8: You heard what a person on television just said, John Leary,
Speaker 8: in this country incredible leprosy in this country incredible. Alas,
Speaker 8: those words are as true now as they were when
Speaker 8: I said them just before.
Speaker 9: Lou Dobsta.
Speaker 3: Leprosy.
Speaker 8: Yes, its effects are already being felt. Look at this chart, John,
Speaker 8: because you can see in the last seven years, the
Speaker 8: average number of fingers her American hand has dropped off,
Speaker 8: while the number of fingers that have dropped off has
Speaker 8: risen dramatically. If this trend continues by twenty fifteen, Well,
Speaker 8: you can see what might happen.
Speaker 2: But so and that's because of illegal aliens. John, the
Speaker 2: chart is fundamentally wrong.
Speaker 8: Well, John, you're right. It might not be prooves that
Speaker 8: Americans have in the future, could be talons or claused.
Speaker 12: Some kind of.
Speaker 8: Data is still coming in, but the conclusion is inescapable.
Speaker 8: All Mexicans are lepers.
Speaker 2: John, I cannot in good conscience allow this to go unchallenged.
Speaker 13: I'm sorry, it's good.
Speaker 8: I love a good debate. Put up your hoofs.
Speaker 3: The SoundBite that you played from Ludo.
Speaker 8: Yes, good fellow, ten fingers John.
Speaker 2: He reported there were seven thousand cases of leprosy in
Speaker 2: America in the last three years, supposedly because of illegal aliens.
Speaker 3: That turned out to be wrong. Look at this.
Speaker 14: We check that and found a report issued by the
Speaker 14: US Department of Health and Human Services saying seven thousand
Speaker 14: is the number of leprosy cases over the last thirty years,
Speaker 14: not the past three and nobody knows how many of
Speaker 14: those cases involve illegal immigrants.
Speaker 8: Ah at sixty minutes Hawd He answer to that, that's
Speaker 8: just typical limousine leopard propaganda.
Speaker 2: Now, John, I feel like bringing these diseases out is
Speaker 2: just a scare tactic.
Speaker 8: You're right, John, it is very scary, but it doesn't
Speaker 8: stop at disease.
Speaker 9: They're at least thirty thousand illegal immigrants who belonged to gangs,
Speaker 9: which are violent, which are drug dealing.
Speaker 8: Some are looking for trouble, try to smuggle guns and
Speaker 8: drugs into our country, and god knows what else.
Speaker 9: Many of them are child molesters, they're drunk drivers, they're
Speaker 9: rapists and robbers.
Speaker 8: My colleagues, Nobel Laureate Gingrich, Princeton's Albert Einstein, professor of
Speaker 8: quantum physics Beck and doctor Buchanan have it right. Let
Speaker 8: me be blunt, John. I can't read the prompter without
Speaker 8: my glasses, John, So it stops there.
Speaker 3: I understand that.
Speaker 2: But stunning Buchanan himself Irish American.
Speaker 12: Is I don't know.
Speaker 8: I don't see color, John.
Speaker 2: You know, John, when the Irish came to this country,
Speaker 2: they were subject to almost the exact same accusations. There
Speaker 2: were diseased, drunkards guilty of immoral behavior.
Speaker 8: Well, at the time those charges may have been warranted.
Speaker 8: I mean, look at the historical record is captured in
Speaker 8: this file foot in from Elis Island. You can't deny
Speaker 8: that murderous leprechauns were killing our children.
Speaker 3: It's a matter of fact. Your point in all this.
Speaker 8: Hope, John, simple pure hope that one day these tubercular, leprous,
Speaker 8: molesting immigrants can repeat the uniquely American journey of the fiendish,
Speaker 8: green blooded Irish from unwanted immigrants to not wanting immigrants,
Speaker 8: while obviously still taking their orders directly from the Pope.
Speaker 2: John, Thank you very much, John, John Hodgman, we'll be
Speaker 2: right by.
Speaker 3: Let's get right to the big story.
Speaker 2: For months, the country has suffered through divided government, corrosive
Speaker 2: partisan dead luck.
Speaker 3: But last week in the Senate a breakthrough.
Speaker 15: We have reached a broad agreement on a very complicated bill.
Speaker 3: A complicated bill.
Speaker 2: So that means this bill is more than just a
Speaker 2: renewal of the Puppies are better than Hitler Act. Not that,
Speaker 2: not that that didn't have issues, So what was this
Speaker 2: bill about?
Speaker 16: A comprehensive immigration reform bill.
Speaker 15: The agreement we just reached is the best possible chance
Speaker 15: we will have in years to secure our borders, bring
Speaker 15: millions of people out of the shadows and into the
Speaker 15: sunshine of America.
Speaker 2: We must bring millions of people out of the garage
Speaker 2: and onto the front yards of America where they can Luis,
Speaker 2: I told you I needed the driveway clean.
Speaker 3: I guess is my point? Vote Quimby?
Speaker 2: All right, how would the country react to this very
Speaker 2: rare display of statesmanship? But if immigrant groups are angry
Speaker 2: over the bill, at least that means the anti immigrant
Speaker 2: crowd must be pleased.
Speaker 3: What do you think of the deal?
Speaker 4: I think the deal stinks.
Speaker 13: Blunt.
Speaker 2: There's no way this great Republic can afford this legislation.
Speaker 3: Dramatic.
Speaker 17: We're turning over more to Canada and Mexico, and I
Speaker 17: do not like that. It's a destruction of our sovereignty.
Speaker 3: I guess that was Leghorn esque. I'll share, I'll share, Shay,
Speaker 3: I'll shall share. Gotta I gotta respect my sovereignty.
Speaker 13: So the left is piste off, the right is pissed off.
Speaker 2: And ladies and gentlemen, here comes the president, flanked by
Speaker 2: his silent wingmen. All right, here's the plan. We're gonna
Speaker 2: go out there. I'm gonna do some immigration talking now.
Speaker 2: If everything goes good, I'll take some questions. But if
Speaker 2: anyone sees anything suspicious, like a squirrel or something, we
Speaker 2: just pivot, turn and walk away like we rehearse. Comprehendive.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 5: I really am anxious to sign a comprehensive immigration bill
Speaker 5: as soon as I possibly can.
Speaker 4: Today we took a good step toward that direction.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Hey, is the squirrel following us?
Speaker 7: So?
Speaker 10: What is the uh?
Speaker 2: We have the advantage of writing to footage what is
Speaker 2: the bill? Basically, some immigrants already in the country illegally
Speaker 2: will have to pay a five thousand dollars fine, and
Speaker 2: then the head of their household will make a touchback
Speaker 2: trip to their home country, at which point they can
Speaker 2: apply for z visas they have a chance at gaining
Speaker 2: permanent legal status within eight years, or one can apply
Speaker 2: for a probationary card to stay in the country without
Speaker 2: permanent status possibilities for four years or until borders are secured,
Speaker 2: or you can get a guest worker. Why visa renewable
Speaker 2: every two years, although there's only four hundred thousand of
Speaker 2: those that are app based of course, on market fluctuations.
Speaker 2: Of course, you understand all that because you're an illegal
Speaker 2: alien who doesn't speak English very well and lives in
Speaker 2: fear deportation. For more on the immigration bill, returned to
Speaker 2: as If manvis standing by in Washington as.
Speaker 18: Things and must begin.
Speaker 14: So Asif.
Speaker 19: Basically the idea is.
Speaker 3: There are different types of visas.
Speaker 2: People already on the margins of societies also have to
Speaker 2: come up with five thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: This legal legalization process does not sound easy.
Speaker 13: Well, it's not supposed to be, John. It wasn't easy
Speaker 13: for our European ancestors. They had a long, arduous journey
Speaker 13: just to get here, and then they had to kill
Speaker 13: a continence worth of squatters while still suffering from boltlag.
Speaker 13: I think these new immigrants have it easy. Give me
Speaker 13: a choice between wiping out a nation of indigenous peoples
Speaker 13: and bussing tables. It's no contest.
Speaker 3: Better tips awsif.
Speaker 2: Obviously not not to get personal, but you yourself were
Speaker 2: not born here, You're you're brown.
Speaker 3: I was going to suggest, it's.
Speaker 13: Fine, John, I know I'm brown, but I'm from India.
Speaker 13: I'm tech support slash cardiologists brown. Shout out, not dishwasher
Speaker 13: slash Los Angeles parking attendant brown. And I say that
Speaker 13: with no disrespect.
Speaker 3: Of course not awsive.
Speaker 2: But doesn't this really point out with this bill is
Speaker 2: isn't this bill really about the fact that these immigrants
Speaker 2: are Mexicans?
Speaker 13: Absolutely not, John, This debate has nothing to do with
Speaker 13: the ethnicity of these Mexicans.
Speaker 3: You're not in your head, Austin.
Speaker 13: Oh, it's a nervous tick. Mexicans make me nervous.
Speaker 2: Another controversial aspect of the bill is that families of
Speaker 2: these immigrants will no longer be given special status that
Speaker 2: they used to have. Immigrant status will be evaluated on
Speaker 2: some kind of point system.
Speaker 13: That's right. For example, immigrants to speak English, we'll get
Speaker 13: ten points, those who work in science and healthcare get
Speaker 13: eight points, military service five points, no leprosy two points,
Speaker 13: and if you use all your letters, fifty bonus points.
Speaker 3: Austin, what is the point system trying to accomplish?
Speaker 20: Well?
Speaker 13: That lets us know who's worthy. You know, people like
Speaker 13: you could be satisfied with this being a nation of
Speaker 13: twelve to fifteen point immigrants.
Speaker 12: I think we can do better.
Speaker 13: It'll be like the SATs. Assigning a point value will
Speaker 13: keep us from becoming a safety country. This is America, John,
Speaker 13: not Wesleyan, but it.
Speaker 3: Is the antithesis of our founding us.
Speaker 2: If what happened to the motto, the old motto give
Speaker 2: us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to
Speaker 2: breathe free, Well, that was.
Speaker 13: The old slogan. John America has rebranded it's immigration policy,
Speaker 13: and the new slogan is what can Brown.
Speaker 3: Do for you?
Speaker 18: Illegal immigration is on everyone's minds, and the increasing population
Speaker 18: of Latinos has plenty of white Americans concerned. I sat
Speaker 18: down with four of those extremely passionate citizens.
Speaker 21: If you look around, there's a lot of Hispanic people.
Speaker 21: I mean not that there's any I'm not racist or anything,
Speaker 21: but imigrants to keep populating. We might have two kids,
Speaker 21: what do they have four or five kids? I would
Speaker 21: say in seven, eight, yeah, maybe nine.
Speaker 12: Maybe I should have mentioned I was Latino.
Speaker 3: All cultures are not equal. I live in Korea.
Speaker 12: Challenge here, So you're you're saying your problem is Koreans. No,
Speaker 12: Koreans are fine, but see, Koreans are different.
Speaker 3: Koreans are like Chinese.
Speaker 7: You don't see problems with the Chinese immigrants, even though
Speaker 7: they're illegal.
Speaker 3: It's getting hot here, certainly sweat through my shirt.
Speaker 18: Latinos are worse than both Koreans and the Chinese.
Speaker 12: That's a fact.
Speaker 18: But law enforcement agents like Richard Jones know how to
Speaker 18: stop this illegal menace.
Speaker 12: And I suppose you're going to say the solution is
Speaker 12: to round everybody up.
Speaker 11: No, the solution is not to round them all up.
Speaker 11: The solution is to where they don't have the stuff
Speaker 11: that they've got here, free stuff.
Speaker 21: For free stuff, free stuff.
Speaker 11: You get a computer when you come here.
Speaker 21: What kind of computer?
Speaker 2: Every talking a new computer?
Speaker 21: The Dell Gateway type of thing.
Speaker 11: They get new computers. They get their are payments, they
Speaker 11: get their house payments. They get free medical care where
Speaker 11: they get it here in the United States.
Speaker 12: No, but specifically where.
Speaker 6: I would love to get some free computers and some
Speaker 6: free medical care.
Speaker 11: I've got to come here illegally to get the free style.
Speaker 11: It's welfare at its worst.
Speaker 18: I wanted to talk to these Mexican moochers, and luckily
Speaker 18: I was in a police with a lot of them. Texas,
Speaker 18: a state where Latinos will outnumber everyone by twenty twenty,
Speaker 18: which made it really easy to put together a panel
Speaker 18: of Latino immigrants.
Speaker 12: I'm myself and from Alpaso, Texas.
Speaker 21: You just said you were Texan, Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 3: Show of hands.
Speaker 12: How many of you people are in Texas? The stars
Speaker 12: at night are big and bright.
Speaker 10: Texas.
Speaker 3: Clearly you look Latino.
Speaker 12: But you're really claiming that you're Texas.
Speaker 3: I was born in Texas, but my heritage is Mexican.
Speaker 12: What damn it? Those were the wrong types of Latinos.
Speaker 12: I needed the illegals with the free computers, so I
Speaker 12: went deep undercover. Edward James almost stopped.
Speaker 18: How long have you been taking free benefits from the
Speaker 18: United States?
Speaker 10: Never?
Speaker 12: I work here really hard.
Speaker 13: I never received nothing.
Speaker 12: You get free things and you know it.
Speaker 3: No, when did you come to America?
Speaker 20: Jesus?
Speaker 3: One second?
Speaker 12: How do you turn this thing down? Jesus?
Speaker 10: Oh seriously, how do you turn this down?
Speaker 3: With the let's switch man?
Speaker 12: So fellas dress pretty nice for landscapers. Landscapers manage my
Speaker 12: family business.
Speaker 13: I work on a law firm.
Speaker 1: But can you please not talk like that?
Speaker 12: Like what the way you're talking about?
Speaker 3: He dressed like such a dick? What are you talking about? Bro?
Speaker 12: This is how Latinos dress.
Speaker 3: Maybe in nineteen ninety.
Speaker 12: Two, bro, But don't let these seemingly nice people fool you.
Speaker 11: The illegals that come into this country theirs is to
Speaker 11: come in and take and not pay the taxes. And
Speaker 11: that's not the American dream.
Speaker 12: Who exactly are we talking about.
Speaker 11: They're not wealthy people sneaking across it, not wealth at all. No,
Speaker 11: you can't just come across on your own. They call
Speaker 11: them their their mules, and if you have nothing to pay,
Speaker 11: they'll abuse you along the way.
Speaker 10: It sounds exhausting, very exhausting.
Speaker 12: And so they have them all huddled together in these groups.
Speaker 3: Yes, why what are they yearning for to feel free?
Speaker 18: See you're saying that there are tired, poor, huddled masses
Speaker 18: yearning for freedom.
Speaker 12: That's not what America is about.
Speaker 11: It's not why I'm saying at all.
Speaker 3: Just get behind the line.
Speaker 11: That's how we keep it this beautiful in a great country.
Speaker 12: But for how long? Because the menace is already here.
Speaker 1: They're already in your state, your town, maybe even your street,
Speaker 1: and they are cold latinos.
Speaker 2: You got dinners.
Speaker 1: Boston market watch out because they're not leaving until they
Speaker 1: get what they came for. Nice yet a life as
Speaker 1: boring as yours, and they are prepared to do anything
Speaker 1: to get it.
Speaker 12: Yard.
Speaker 9: Don't forget the Book of Burgers for Tracy.
Speaker 1: And the LA chips are down and their backs are
Speaker 1: against the wall. They'll make the best things also you've
Speaker 1: ever had. So wake up, America. The Latinos aren't coming.
Speaker 1: They're already here Latinos.
Speaker 10: Now that the tax plan has passed, the biggest issue
Speaker 10: facing Washington is immigration reform.
Speaker 20: Now.
Speaker 10: Unfortunately, Democrats and Republicans have never been able to agree
Speaker 10: on this issue. Do you kick all the illegal immigrants out?
Speaker 10: Do you give them a path to citizenship? Do you
Speaker 10: take their cuisine and then kick them out? Do you
Speaker 10: clean their house?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 13: What do you do?
Speaker 3: What do you do?
Speaker 10: It's a contentious issue and no one has been able
Speaker 10: to get both parties to make a deal. Fortunately, America
Speaker 10: elected a man with a particular set of skills. As
Speaker 10: he told us when he was still applying for the job.
Speaker 16: With Congress, you have to get everybody in a room
Speaker 16: and you have to get him to agree. But you
Speaker 16: have to get him to agree what you want. And
Speaker 16: that's part of being a deal maker. You can't leave
Speaker 16: the White House, go to Hawaii and play golf for
Speaker 16: three weeks and be a real deal maker.
Speaker 20: It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 16: You have to get people in, grab them, hug them,
Speaker 16: kiss them, and get the deal done. But it's gotta
Speaker 16: be the deal that you want.
Speaker 10: Yeah, a deal making president conscious go to hole and
Speaker 10: play golf. He goes to Florida.
Speaker 3: It's much closer.
Speaker 10: You get an extra nine holes in and you grabbed
Speaker 10: the people and you hug them and you kiss it.
Speaker 10: Like turn into Harvey Weinstein in the middle of the
Speaker 10: rows going on. So Trump promised to get Republicans and
Speaker 10: Democrats into a room, and guess what, yesterday, that's exactly
Speaker 10: what he did, assembling over a dozen congressional leaders to
Speaker 10: negotiate immigration. Now, what made this meeting special is that
Speaker 10: Trump invitesed cameras into the room, which was mind blowing
Speaker 10: because finally we'd get to see the president take charge.
Speaker 10: So go on, mister President, tell these fools your position.
Speaker 16: My positions are going to be what the people in
Speaker 16: this room.
Speaker 20: Come up with.
Speaker 16: I am very much reliant on the people in this room.
Speaker 16: If they come to me with things that I'm not
Speaker 16: in love with, I'm gonna do it because I respect them.
Speaker 10: I love that he's acting like a tough, in control
Speaker 10: leader while at the same time telling everyone he will
Speaker 10: do anything they want. He's like, let's get this straight, asshole,
Speaker 10: I'm your bitch.
Speaker 12: You will walk all over me.
Speaker 10: And if you got a problem with that, I apologize.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 10: The main discussion in this meeting was what to do
Speaker 10: about DHAKA, which is expiring in March.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 10: DAKA has a program that allows around seven hundred thousand
Speaker 10: undocumented immigrants who were brought to the US when they
Speaker 10: were children to stay in the US and not to
Speaker 10: be deported because think about it, they could be punished
Speaker 10: for a decision that their parents made to bring them here.
Speaker 10: You know, It's like how you were punished for your parents'
Speaker 10: decision to take you to supercuts. It's not your faults. Now,
Speaker 10: Democrats want to pass DACA right now. Republicans also wanted
Speaker 10: to pass DACA, but only if the Democrats also agree
Speaker 10: to fund more border security. And of course Trump's war
Speaker 10: you guys remember the war, Yeah, the one where Mexico
Speaker 10: is like, you guys are dumb?
Speaker 2: That one?
Speaker 10: Remember that wall. So while both sides want DHACA, there's
Speaker 10: a clean DHAKA and then there's DHAKA with everything else.
Speaker 10: And if you were running a high level negotiation about DOCCA,
Speaker 10: this would be a key concept to understand. But if
Speaker 10: I told you that there was one person in the
Speaker 10: room yesterday who didn't quite understand. I'll bet you can
Speaker 10: guess who it was, So please enjoy this moment as
Speaker 10: Republican Kevin McCaughey has to jump in to help the
Speaker 10: President understand that he's just agreed with the opposite of
Speaker 10: what he said he always wanted.
Speaker 7: I'd like to ask the question, what about a clean
Speaker 7: Docaville now and with the commitment that we go into
Speaker 7: a comprehensive immigration reform procedures.
Speaker 16: I think a lot of people would like to see them,
Speaker 16: but I think we have to do doctor.
Speaker 12: Mister President, you need to be clear, though.
Speaker 11: I think what Senator Feinstein's asking here when we talk
Speaker 11: about just DOCCA, we don't want to be.
Speaker 7: Back here two years later.
Speaker 11: You have to have security, as the Secretary would tell you.
Speaker 16: I think that's what you're say.
Speaker 10: It looks like McCarthy was gently correcting a stupid kid.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 10: It's just like I want clean doc out. No, mister President,
Speaker 10: you don't want clean DOCA.
Speaker 3: I don't want clean doc up. I want lie.
Speaker 10: I think it's so cute that whenever Trump is out
Speaker 10: of his depth, he gives himself away with that little
Speaker 10: hug that he gives himself a comfort. You know, it's
Speaker 10: like his a little thundershirt. He does that thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at him, he looks He looks like the.
Speaker 12: Oldest bee boy in the crew.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 10: All you have to do is put him in a
Speaker 10: music video and he would crush it. He would just
Speaker 10: be killing the game. Go DJ, go DJ, Go DJ
Speaker 10: go DJ. But actually, actually, it's not fair to say
Speaker 10: that Trump knows nothing about what he wants on immigration reform.
Speaker 9: Right.
Speaker 10: He might be a little shots on facts, but the
Speaker 10: important thing is he's got the feeling.
Speaker 16: Having the Democrats in with us is absolutely vital because
Speaker 16: this should be a bipartisan there.
Speaker 20: There should be a bill of love.
Speaker 16: Truly should be a bill of love.
Speaker 10: That's right, people, there should be a bill of love,
Speaker 10: which is ridiculous. You don't get to call that a
Speaker 10: bill of love. Right. That's a bill that funds a
Speaker 10: two thousand mile wall. You don't call that the bill
Speaker 10: of love, even if the wall is full of glory holes, right,
Speaker 10: which I fully believe Trump wants. That's not real love, right,
Speaker 10: A cheap fix sure does it feel great, yes, but
Speaker 10: real love, I mean, unless you go back to the
Speaker 10: whole regularly and the whole knows your name, then maybe,
Speaker 10: like if you care for the whole and the whole
Speaker 10: cares for you, then maybe it's love. Like the real
Speaker 10: question is what are you willing to do for the whole?
Speaker 10: And do you expect the hole to do anything return?
Speaker 10: That's real love mischief. But it's funny to hear Trump
Speaker 10: talking about love and immigration, especially after you hear the
Speaker 10: cruel decision that he made on Monday.
Speaker 2: About two hundred thousand immigrants from l Salvador could face
Speaker 2: deportation next year after the White House announced it is
Speaker 2: ending their temporary protected status.
Speaker 22: These individuals who had been granted temporary protected status now
Speaker 22: have eighteen months to try to find another legal way
Speaker 22: to stay in the United States or be sent back
Speaker 22: to Al Salvador. Many of them fled Al Salvador because
Speaker 22: of violence during that country civil war or after the
Speaker 22: two thousand and one earthquake which devastated the country.
Speaker 10: Yeah, while President Bill of Love puts on a show
Speaker 10: for the cameras, behind the scenes, his administration is kicking
Speaker 10: out two hundred thousand people who have lived in the
Speaker 10: US legally for decades, which is heartless because these people
Speaker 10: have set up their whole lives. They have jobs, they
Speaker 10: have houses. Many of them have kids who were born
Speaker 10: in the US. These are families, mister President, human beings.
Speaker 10: You can't just treat them the same way you treat Eric.
Speaker 10: All Right, Our first story kicks off in Texas, easily
Speaker 10: one of my favorite states to visits. Yeahlast time I
Speaker 10: went to Texas, Ted Cruz took me out to all
Speaker 10: of his favorite restaurants. Yeah, and everything had spit in it,
Speaker 10: but it was still delicious, It really was.
Speaker 20: So I'm definitely going back.
Speaker 10: But over the past few years, Texas governor has been
Speaker 10: scaling back the state's hospitality, particularly towards undocumented immigrants. He's
Speaker 10: had them arrested, He's called out the National Guard. He
Speaker 10: even told citizens to quote take matters into their own hands.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 10: But last week, Governor Abott he took things to a
Speaker 10: whole new level when he decided to start bussing illegal
Speaker 10: immigrants from Texas all the way to Washington, d C. Yeah,
Speaker 10: as a way to hit back at the Biden administration's
Speaker 10: immigration policies. And now the first bus has.
Speaker 15: Arrived about an hour ago.
Speaker 10: The first bus full of migrants from Texas arrived right
Speaker 10: outside the Fox Bureau in Washington, d C.
Speaker 20: This bus took off from Del Rio, Texas. It left
Speaker 20: Saturday at four pm, I'm told, and has traveled for
Speaker 20: over three days straight to get here. There's a group
Speaker 20: from Nicaragua. I was just spoke to six young men
Speaker 20: from Venezuela. I asked him what they wanted to do next.
Speaker 20: They said they wanted to go to Miami, and I
Speaker 20: asked if they were gonna get there. They said, they
Speaker 20: didn't know. They're here in this country. They're willing to
Speaker 20: work hard.
Speaker 19: We're here in the food court at Union Station, where
Speaker 19: a lot of them have been getting something to eat
Speaker 19: because this was a thirty four hour bus ride. They
Speaker 19: said they are very excited to be here. They feel welcome.
Speaker 19: They said that they know that they are a prop
Speaker 19: in all of this, but they wanted to come anyway.
Speaker 10: You know, I don't care what anyone says. America is
Speaker 10: one of the craziest countries in the world, because what
Speaker 10: is happening here?
Speaker 20: People?
Speaker 10: Do you see what is happening here? One day the
Speaker 10: governor's building a wall to keep immigrants out, and the
Speaker 10: next day he's giving them a free ride to the Capitol.
Speaker 12: What are you doing?
Speaker 10: But I also don't think that he fully thought this through,
Speaker 10: because if you're trying to deter immigrants, don't you think
Speaker 10: this sends a mixed message.
Speaker 12: No, huh yeah, because you realize they're gonna be calling home.
Speaker 10: Like you know, as soon as I crossed the border,
Speaker 10: they captured me and they took me to Washington, DCA.
Speaker 12: I think I want to meet the president.
Speaker 10: Oh man, you guys gotta come over as quick as
Speaker 10: you can, say, say, Greg Abbott sank you man.
Speaker 3: It's crazy.
Speaker 10: Also, of all of the places to drop the people,
Speaker 10: if you chose Fox News is headquarters in DC. Really,
Speaker 10: how are you gonna do that to Fox News? Man?
Speaker 10: Those people are already terrified of imaginary immigrants. Now what
Speaker 10: are they gonna do when the real ones show up?
Speaker 10: Those people are canny kids.
Speaker 12: God is like everyone's showing up to the Fox Bureau.
Speaker 10: I bet in that office everyone's screaming like.
Speaker 12: Oh my god, the caravan is here.
Speaker 10: What I thought we made that up?
Speaker 12: I thought so too.
Speaker 10: It's a so interesting that the immigrants know that they're
Speaker 10: being used as pawns, but they're willing to.
Speaker 3: Get shipped out of Texas. Anywhere.
Speaker 10: I like that, and I like their honesty. They're like, yeah,
Speaker 10: we get what's happening here, but we're fine. I guess
Speaker 10: maybe they just prefer to be in a state.
Speaker 12: With a reliable power grid.
Speaker 10: That's what they were going for, you know.
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