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Speaker 1: I didn't even realize I didn't have confidence in myself,

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Speaker 1: like true confidence. Someone tells you that you're ugly, you

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Speaker 1: don't think that's bullying, and you just kind of go

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Speaker 1: along with it. And when I joined wrestling, there was

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Speaker 1: nobody that was telling you that. They told me be bold,

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Speaker 1: be powerful, go and use your strength, use your gift,

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Speaker 1: and like that was incredible. This is the Reformed Sports Project,

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Speaker 1: a podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all

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Speaker 1: areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi, this is

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Speaker 1: Nick Bonacore from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. Today's episode

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Speaker 1: is extra special as it's our fifty second episode, meaning

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Speaker 1: we've hit the one year mark. I want to thank

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Speaker 1: everyone on the Reform Sports Project podcast team, each of

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Speaker 1: our amazing guests and all of our supporters, listeners and advocates.

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Speaker 1: Reforming youth sports has long been a passion of mind,

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Speaker 1: and I appreciate each and every one of you joining

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Speaker 1: the cause and pushing for a better future for our kids.

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Speaker 1: Thank you all. We're just getting started for today's episode.

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking with Tamara mensis Stock, who is fresh off

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Speaker 1: her two World championship win in Belgrade. Tamara is one of,

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Speaker 1: if not the most dominant wrestlers, heck even athletes in

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Speaker 1: the world right now. She made history at the Tokyo Olympics,

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Speaker 1: becoming the first black woman to win Olympic gold in

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Speaker 1: freestyle wrestling. She continued her dominance in her recent World

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Speaker 1: Championship win and didn't drop a single point, outscoring the

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Speaker 1: field thirty six to nothing. In addition to being a

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Speaker 1: formidable competitor on the map, she's also a fierce advocate

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Speaker 1: for growing the sport of women's wrestling, promoting anti bullying,

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Speaker 1: and helping kids develop confidence and inner strength. To Mary

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Speaker 1: and I discussed the importance of finding a supportive community

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Speaker 1: to overcome bullying, how a positive mindset helped her achieve

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Speaker 1: success on the Olympic stage, and the power of learning

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Speaker 1: from adversity. Man, I am super pumped off once again.

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Speaker 1: I got another just phenomenal guest. I think everybody saw

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Speaker 1: her viral clip right after the to your games once

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Speaker 1: you won gold and just kind of won the hearts

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Speaker 1: of the country, And I'm just super pumped to dig

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Speaker 1: in whether I've heard so many great things. Two merrimentus

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Speaker 1: stock Gold Mellas, thank you so much for hopping on

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Speaker 1: thank you for having me, Nick, I have greatly appreciate it. Well,

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Speaker 1: you are welcome and thank you. I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: dig in it. Heard so many great things I want

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Speaker 1: to I want to start right here because I kind

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Speaker 1: of did some dig in, kind of looked into your background,

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Speaker 1: such as far as your athletic background, and what really

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Speaker 1: fascinates me is as we just talked a little bit offline.

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Speaker 1: As you know, I never wrestled the day in my life,

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Speaker 1: but my son's got into it. We introduced them to

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Speaker 1: the sport at like ten years old, and I immediately

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Speaker 1: fell in love with the sport. I mean I am

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Speaker 1: borderline obsessed, but in a way that I think it

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Speaker 1: does so many wonderful things for kids. I think unlike

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Speaker 1: other sports. I have a baseball background, as many of

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Speaker 1: the audience. No, it's easy to blame the ball, easy

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Speaker 1: to blame the coach, easy to blame the umpire. When

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Speaker 1: you hold kids accountable to their you know, were and action,

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Speaker 1: such a great sport to teach kids life lessons. On

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Speaker 1: coming back around, I've I've learned that you didn't start

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Speaker 1: the sport till later on in life, right, you didn

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Speaker 1: start until you were like in high school. Can you

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Speaker 1: tell me a little bit about your athletic journey and

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Speaker 1: kind of what brought you into the sport. Yeah, definitely,

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Speaker 1: and I would half to agree, Like you can't blame

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Speaker 1: it on a ball or a teammate, right, Like it

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Speaker 1: holds you a thousand percent accountable, Like if you didn't

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Speaker 1: pull the trigger, it's because you didn't pull the trigger. Oh,

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Speaker 1: this makes you look in a fat mirror, but it's

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Speaker 1: it's pretty exciting. But um, I started my journey and

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Speaker 1: wrestling when I was fifteen sophomore in high school. But

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Speaker 1: I was initially in track and field, and I started

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Speaker 1: that sport when I was in middle school, and I

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Speaker 1: um went all the way through high school up until

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Speaker 1: senior year, where I finally made the decision to quit

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Speaker 1: and just focus solely on wrestling. But it was it

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Speaker 1: was a hard decision. But um track until it was

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Speaker 1: where I started. That's where I I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: I got my leticism for my parents and God, right,

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Speaker 1: but that's where I honed in on my athleticism was

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Speaker 1: track and fill you know, all that coordination that you

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Speaker 1: have to do when you're jumping into a sand pit. However,

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Speaker 1: sweaty and dirty. It may get you holy smoke. So

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Speaker 1: let me ask you this question. When you when you

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Speaker 1: think about your you know, because if I'm not mistaken,

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Speaker 1: there's some was there some bullying that took place that

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Speaker 1: that kind of led you down to kind of go

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Speaker 1: into wrestling. Um it did. I was bullied. I hate

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Speaker 1: this story, but um I was bullied in um middle

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Speaker 1: school by a teammate and track and fills, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: it sucks when you think that somebody's your friend and

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Speaker 1: um they're really not, and they just kind of use

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Speaker 1: all that information you can fight in with them against

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Speaker 1: you just to make themselves look cool. But yeah, that

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Speaker 1: happened in middle school then high school. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was over with, but turns out in track and field

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Speaker 1: that was still bullied by several teammates. Not everybody. I

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Speaker 1: still have, you know, through a few people that you

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Speaker 1: know love me for me. But um yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: bullied in high school as well. And when I joined

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Speaker 1: the wrestling team. Actually, um, my twin sister I convinced

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Speaker 1: me to join it. And it wasn't because of the bullying.

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Speaker 1: It was just um she was told by the coaches

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Speaker 1: that they needed some athletic people to join their team,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, I know exactly the girl that

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Speaker 1: SIPs that description, and she's in my household and she's

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Speaker 1: my twin. So that's that's how that started up. But

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Speaker 1: when I was on the team of wrestling, when I

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Speaker 1: finally didn't make the team, there was somebody in the

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Speaker 1: same weight class as me, and uh, well, I guess

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Speaker 1: I was in the weight class of somebody else. And

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Speaker 1: she had one of her track teammates that bullied me excessively.

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Speaker 1: Um so, I guess try to convinced me to quit

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Speaker 1: the team. She like shoved me against the lockers in

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Speaker 1: the track room to quid or else and uh man,

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Speaker 1: this girl is bigger than me. How I was like,

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Speaker 1: what the freak. I'm like, I'm not quitting, And the

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Speaker 1: coaches of wrestling actually heard about it, and me, being

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Speaker 1: soft spoken back then, I was like, no, nothing happened.

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Speaker 1: They're like, tell us what happened. We heard about it,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, no, it's fine, it's whatever. And

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Speaker 1: a few months later, probably even weeks later, that girl

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Speaker 1: who convinced her um who convinced my track teammate, uh

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Speaker 1: you know, of course me and the quitting. She ended

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Speaker 1: up quitting the team all together for wrestling, and then

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Speaker 1: everybody else is cool. It's wild. But I feel like

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Speaker 1: so many kids can probably relate to that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I got six kids, and I mean, you know, part

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Speaker 1: of it being a teenager. No one wants to hear

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Speaker 1: about it. As far as bullying, it's it's those are

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Speaker 1: terrible sou but I mean when you're at those ages, no,

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Speaker 1: it's tough, but you found a way to turn that

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Speaker 1: into So it's like, but not everyone has those outlets,

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Speaker 1: you know, in wrestling. Quite frankly, from a female perspective,

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Speaker 1: I hear it's like the fastest growing sport, one of

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Speaker 1: the fastest growing sports in the country. Like do you

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Speaker 1: think that's gonna continue to catch legs? And we're going

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Speaker 1: to see more and more, you know, young ladies getting

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Speaker 1: into the sport. Definitely, because um, I didn't even realize

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Speaker 1: I didn't have confidence in myself, like true confidence. Like

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Speaker 1: someone tells you that you're ugly, you have like an

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Speaker 1: abnormally big butt, like you dress ugly, like you look funny.

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Speaker 1: You don't think that's bullying and you just kind of

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Speaker 1: go along with it, like h huh yeah, and like

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Speaker 1: they call you idiot. And stupid, like those things, like

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Speaker 1: they are detrimental to the soul, the heart, and the mind.

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Speaker 1: And when I joined wrestling, there was nobody that was

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Speaker 1: telling me that. They told me be bold, be powerful,

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Speaker 1: go and use your strength, use your gifts. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, really, use my gifts, and like that was incredible.

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Speaker 1: And I think as more women discover that, more young

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Speaker 1: girls discover that this sport is just gonna oh that.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that there's so many colleges creating um programs

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Speaker 1: for for you know, the young women coming out, because

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Speaker 1: this sport is one of the fastest growing, like women's wrestling.

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Speaker 1: It is just imploding and it's fantastic. And I think

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Speaker 1: it's because like so many young girls are like, man,

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Speaker 1: it takes me feel good. What an outlet. And there's

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Speaker 1: there's more people backing there their dreams. There's not a

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Speaker 1: lot of people who have that old mindset, that primitive

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Speaker 1: mindset of girls can't do the sport. Yeah, get out

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Speaker 1: of our room where guys sport. I didn't experience that part.

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Speaker 1: I just experienced women, believe me, not men. Samara. This

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Speaker 1: right here, what we're going through right now reminds me

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Speaker 1: as far as the audio connection and all that reminds

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Speaker 1: me of a quote that I heard from Kyle Date

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Speaker 1: within the last year at the Olympics, he might have

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Speaker 1: not performed or had, you know, finished where he wanted

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Speaker 1: to and someone that there was a question. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember exactly the question, but his answer was it was

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Speaker 1: something about the circumstances, right, Was it not the best

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Speaker 1: circumstances for him to be successful? He His response wasn't

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Speaker 1: probably not going to get a word forward. Was was

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Speaker 1: if I need circumstances to be perfect in order for

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Speaker 1: me to have success, and I'm not as prepared as

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Speaker 1: I need to be. And it's kind of like what

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Speaker 1: you're dealing with, roll with the punchous adversity. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like the sport of wrestling, all athletics teach that.

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Speaker 1: But what is so unique about that grit, that grind?

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Speaker 1: Because you played you know, multiple sports, different sports growing up,

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Speaker 1: you know what's the separator from a physical as well

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Speaker 1: as you know the mental standpoint that you developed as

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Speaker 1: a result of going through wrestling. Um, I want to

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Speaker 1: go back to what you said about holiday, because I

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Speaker 1: was like snapping to myself like, oh, I want to

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Speaker 1: hear that one more time. That was phoeheaded. That's so poetic.

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Speaker 1: But um, I mean I guess for me, more than anything,

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Speaker 1: it was just that mental maturity because I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: we always work on that physical aspects, like you have

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Speaker 1: so many people helping me, like a bunch of push

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Speaker 1: up and brant I don't know, a hundred yards five

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Speaker 1: times and miles on miles on, miles on mouse Gosh,

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Speaker 1: every restaurant knows that was all right, Ted MOUs go,

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Speaker 1: But um, I think mint the mental was definitely something

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Speaker 1: that um yeah, that really just developed on me and

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Speaker 1: mentally tough. Did I answer that question right? Yeah? And

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Speaker 1: was there like a period in your life going back,

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Speaker 1: you know where you sample different sports and that kind

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Speaker 1: of ledged like, what what was it like in your

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Speaker 1: childhood growing up? Plant from an athletic sample? Oh? Um?

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Speaker 1: So middle school, I tried out for volleyball because I

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Speaker 1: thought it was like the sunny sport, like you get

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Speaker 1: the bounce the ball, you were with teammates, right, And

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Speaker 1: when I went to try out, he said that I

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Speaker 1: didn't make the team because I couldn't die for the ball.

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Speaker 1: But nobody forget an beds. Why was I going to

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Speaker 1: go die for a bowl with my knees scraping against

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Speaker 1: the Dane ground. I don't think, so that wasn't gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: And then I tried it out for basketball. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, my mom was in basketball. I got this.

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Speaker 1: I can do this without practice, right, So I tried.

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Speaker 1: I tried out for that, and again I was denied

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Speaker 1: because I couldn't do it lay up. I mean, at

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Speaker 1: least they were telling me why I didn't make the team,

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Speaker 1: but it was just kind of disheartening and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh man, I can't do it lay up whatever. But

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Speaker 1: then I went to track and field and all this

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Speaker 1: is in middle school and my younger years. Uh, there

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Speaker 1: was no kind of sport like there. There was nothing.

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Speaker 1: It was just us being kids. So all my developmental um,

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Speaker 1: all that time frame. It was in middle school where

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Speaker 1: I was developing on my off leticism. But um, I

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Speaker 1: went to track and field and I was immediately told

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Speaker 1: that I was a natural and that I could do it.

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Speaker 1: And um, I went in for povos scared scariest sport

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Speaker 1: to me by far. I can't do it. I tried,

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Speaker 1: and every time I stuck that stick in the whole

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Speaker 1: I screamed, so horrible. It's horrible, like my teres and

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Speaker 1: it's so scary, Oh my gosh. And I try to

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Speaker 1: try to try to like maybe maybe it's just the

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Speaker 1: wrong pole, Like no, I just can't. I can't. I

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Speaker 1: cannot trust an inanimate object to lift me and not

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Speaker 1: throw me off to the left or right, Like, what

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Speaker 1: makes you so sure that I'm going to land on

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Speaker 1: this tab? You're not sure? So that's when I went

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Speaker 1: in for triple and long ja and yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: naturally gifted sprinter, naturally gifted. It was encouraging to have

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Speaker 1: somebody tell me I was naturally gifted in this sport.

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Speaker 1: And I had fun and I made friends. We had

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Speaker 1: a good time, and it was nice as being in

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Speaker 1: a community of girls that I could just talk to,

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Speaker 1: last with, you know, just be myself with. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't. It was incredible. It's fun. So one sports

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Speaker 1: fed the other. And at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: playing all of those different sports and having that experience,

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Speaker 1: did that help make you feel more like prepared when

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Speaker 1: it was time to get on the mat and until

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Speaker 1: ten great, yes, So odd thing is I got him

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Speaker 1: the wrestling match, and I was automatically gifted, like it

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Speaker 1: was uncanny and people didn't understand why. And then when

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Speaker 1: I would tell them, oh, while I was in track

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Speaker 1: and field, and all of them would go, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's fine. Were you a sprinter, Like yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: a sprinter and a jumper, and they're like, oh, well

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Speaker 1: there it is like you were already working on your explosiveness,

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Speaker 1: which tied into double legs. You know, I just powered

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Speaker 1: through people and that sprinter stance again was tied into

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Speaker 1: the double leg and just all that driving motions that's

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Speaker 1: needed for um, all the takedowns that I was able

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Speaker 1: to do. I really only had two moves throughout high school,

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Speaker 1: but I'd still try. But it was just it definitely

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Speaker 1: helped me simply because like I already had the what

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Speaker 1: is it call, like the fast step fast but the

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Speaker 1: fast twitch were already yeah, yeah, the fast pitch muscles

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Speaker 1: were already developed in me, and so I was just

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Speaker 1: able to pick up wrestling just quickly. And I know

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Speaker 1: it was because I was already an athlete. It just

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Speaker 1: came second nature to and at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: like in the environment today with wrestling, I see it

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Speaker 1: all the time, you know, with weight cutting, you know,

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Speaker 1: especially you know go I grew. I'm living North Carolina,

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Speaker 1: so my kids have gone to Super thirty two and

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Speaker 1: my son will be looking to go. You know this

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Speaker 1: coming I think it's in October. But like big national tournaments,

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Speaker 1: at times, you see kids really sucking I mean, what

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Speaker 1: do you yeah, without the interview you know Jaden Cox

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Speaker 1: then aspirin, I mean, of course there's a there's an

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Speaker 1: element of staying healthy, eating right, making sure you're fit,

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Speaker 1: you know, and most competitive. But at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, at those younger ages, I've never heard anyone

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Speaker 1: really come out and advocate for Yeah, kids should suck

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Speaker 1: weight and try to get as strong as possible. It's

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Speaker 1: the smallest way to be the most successful at ten.

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Speaker 1: But you go to some of these big tournaments and

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Speaker 1: that's when you see parents encouraging kids to do like,

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Speaker 1: you know, your ninety pounds, we've got to get down

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Speaker 1: to like seventy eight. Now, what are your thoughts on that,

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Speaker 1: on that weight cutting, particularly those young age because I

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Speaker 1: know it gives us for a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: black eye attons it does. And I'll be one with

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Speaker 1: you and everybody listening. I do not agree with kids

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Speaker 1: cutting weight. Whatever their natural weight is, they should go

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Speaker 1: within five pounds of that, whether it's higher or lower.

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Speaker 1: I feel that the forty year old them is going

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Speaker 1: to be extremely upset that they're what they have all

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Speaker 1: these deep onset problems in their life, Like they'll be

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Speaker 1: forty years old and they'll feel like they're seventy because

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Speaker 1: they mess with their developmental stages in their life. I

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Speaker 1: I don't agree. I don't. I honestly don't agree with

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Speaker 1: cutting weight period because it's just bad for you just

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Speaker 1: putting your body through that much shock. If you feel

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Speaker 1: like you're not strong enough in a weight class, develop

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Speaker 1: those muscles to get stronger or develop the technique to

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Speaker 1: surpass those people that are stronger than you. But don't

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Speaker 1: put yourself I mean, don't get me wrong. I will

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Speaker 1: say this. If there is some weight to lose and

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Speaker 1: you like you're unhealthy, and yes, of course, like maybe yeah,

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Speaker 1: just lose a little bit of weight. Sure, But that's

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Speaker 1: also the great thing about this, for like, it just

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Speaker 1: helps children and parents alike to just be aware of

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Speaker 1: the health habits of their kids and make them conscious

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Speaker 1: of what they're putting in their bodies. Because even if

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Speaker 1: their kids they're still shouldn't be eating a bunch of

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Speaker 1: hot cheetos before a match or a week before a match,

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Speaker 1: because it's not really um helping fuel their body. But

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Speaker 1: it's okay to cheat every once in a while. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna lie I cheat. Two we were you were,

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Speaker 1: you were human beings, right, I mean, I get it.

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Speaker 1: It's hard, though I watched my son do it. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I give so much credit to you wrestlers, you know,

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Speaker 1: because there's such especially a young ages man. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think there's a quote believe that you said you

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Speaker 1: know whether you were you know, heading into the Olympics

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Speaker 1: or I don't know what point, but like so much

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Speaker 1: goes into the sport of wrestling from not only just

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Speaker 1: the physical side of the mental side, but also like

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Speaker 1: we're talking about the diet side, Like it's a lifestyle here.

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Speaker 1: I heard coaches say, like you gotta live the lifestyle

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Speaker 1: of the wrestler's different. And you said, if I'm not

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Speaker 1: mistaken that you knew going into Tokyo that you knew

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Speaker 1: you could do it meeting, you knew you can win

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Speaker 1: the goal? Like what made you feel that confident and

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Speaker 1: what made you feel like hey, I know I'm going there.

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Speaker 1: It's a business trip and I'm gonna get this done.

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Speaker 1: It's funny at that was like, Oh, this is right too,

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Speaker 1: it huh. I believe I felt that way because of

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Speaker 1: my previous experiences. In twenty six I went Olympic Trials,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't qualify of the weight class and Nick,

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Speaker 1: that hurt my heart. It truly hurt my heart. Um.

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Speaker 1: I felt like my identity was in wrestling, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not an Olympian. This is the worst ever.

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, hold up, I'm a Christian,

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Speaker 1: I'm a wife, I'm a sister, I'm a daughter. Get

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Speaker 1: that corner out of my face. I know who I am. However,

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Speaker 1: I will not feel this way again ever. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to give it a thousand percent and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go in and take what I know is mine because

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Speaker 1: when I went to the Olympics in I was taken

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Speaker 1: as a training partner. Um. I got to watch the

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Speaker 1: entire tournament and I saw my teammates out there just

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Speaker 1: working their butts off, and I was like, what the

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Speaker 1: heck I could do this. I want to show my athleticism. Dang.

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Speaker 1: And so leading up into I just kept getting into

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Speaker 1: that mindset of no, I can do this, like God's

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Speaker 1: given me so many talents, And there were people in

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Speaker 1: my head just telling me the same thing, like you

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Speaker 1: have a god given talent. You can go out there

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Speaker 1: and you can dominate all these girls. And I'd be like, ah,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait, Yes, I can, like just back and

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Speaker 1: forth like between like left right show, we're like deviled

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Speaker 1: on my shoulder, Angel on my shoulder. And there was

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Speaker 1: a match in my semifinals match against a girl from

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Speaker 1: France and I ended up losing that it was just

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Speaker 1: me not pulling the trigger. And that was another time

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Speaker 1: where I was just peeved off with myself, like, Danne,

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Speaker 1: you didn't get glory to God, you didn't showcase all

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Speaker 1: the athleticism you have. What the heck, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: So the next year I was like, no, just go

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Speaker 1: out there and swarm through everybody, and whatever happened happens.

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Speaker 1: But you're gonna go out there and you're gonna dominate

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Speaker 1: anybody who comes in your way, and once you're done,

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Speaker 1: you'll smile at them and you'll love them and you'll

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, good match. But once you step in

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Speaker 1: that circle, I don't care what you're complaining about. If

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Speaker 1: you're injured, you step into that circle and you're ready

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Speaker 1: for a fight. And so that was my mindset. Twenty

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Speaker 1: nine Team COVID hit no Man, I was like the

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Speaker 1: how do I wrestle again? What? Yeah? And that was rough.

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Speaker 1: And so after that moment passed and we were going

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Speaker 1: to have the Olympics. And once the Olympics were finally

379
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,439
Speaker 1: around the corner, all I did was go back to

380
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Speaker 1: that mindset I had before nineteen Worlds, where I said, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't care who's in front of me. I'm taking

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Speaker 1: this gold medal. Just because almost a year has passed

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean that mindset has changed. I am hungry and

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Speaker 1: I want to showcase what I've got and what God

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Speaker 1: has given me. And so I went in and I

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Speaker 1: just handled my business, and I honestly I surprised myself.

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Speaker 1: I was just determined and fired up, just ready to

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Speaker 1: go out there and get it. And I think those

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00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 1: talks that I had privately just kind of came into

390
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Speaker 1: the light. I didn't wish any ill will on people,

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00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: and like wanted to talk smack. I just knew I

392
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,679
Speaker 1: was going to win, because that's what I kept telling

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00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: myself because I didn't want I didn't want to lose anymore.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to showcase what I had. That's where that

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00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 1: came from. When we come back to Mirror and I

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00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 1: discussed the value of a positive minds in and how

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Speaker 1: adversity has helped her become a better version of herself.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back where we left off to Mirror and I

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Speaker 1: were about to talk about the importance of learning from

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Speaker 1: adversity and keeping sports fun for kids. It sounds to

401
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 1: me like so much you got from the adversity, you know,

402
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 1: and and I talked about this a lot, but it's

403
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: like it's like, at times parents we want to we

404
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: want to comfort, we want to make, we want to coddle, right,

405
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: we love our kids and all I don't want to

406
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: see him struggle at all. Well, sometimes getting kicked in

407
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 1: your rear end or being disappointed right, missing out, you know,

408
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 1: being told no um, struggling, familing, you know, losing like

409
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 1: those could all lead to really great successes down the road.

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Speaker 1: If all we do is experience success, success, success without

411
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Speaker 1: having a little bit of struggle in between. Sometimes we

412
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,399
Speaker 1: take it for granted, and then when the stakes get higher,

413
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: and someone is actually ready to come back at us

414
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: as hard as we're ready to go at them, we

415
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: might be all overwhelmed. It sounds to me like all

416
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: your adversity, all your struggle, was preparing you all along

417
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: the way. It honestly was, because even after twenty nineteen,

418
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: leading all the way up into twenty nineteen World I

419
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: was undefeated, and then the first tournament back after I

420
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Speaker 1: lost in the finals, I was up eight zero in

421
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: France or Italy and I lost to Zoo And I

422
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 1: actually rested her at the Olympics a year later, but

423
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 1: I lost to her, and it was because I kind

424
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: of had forgotten who I was and I was just

425
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: kind of shy, like, oh no, everybody's looking out for me.

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Speaker 1: I honestly feel like I got complacent because when you're

427
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: up eight zero in the match for a wrestling match,

428
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: the likelihood of you winning is like day near ninety

429
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: nine per cent. All you need is like two pushouts

430
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 1: or a takedown. And when I lost, I was like dang,

431
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: and my coaches looked at me and they are like, yeah,

432
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 1: you You just kind of just kind of lost it there.

433
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm glad I

434
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: lost because now I'm pissed and I'm going to the

435
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: Olympics undefeated again. Yeah, adversity definitely a thousand percent helped

436
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 1: me be a better me. Like a thousand percent. It sucked.

437
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 1: Adversity sucks. We all know it, right. It's like, I'm

438
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: a nice person, but I do have anger problems and

439
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: wrestling is a great outlet. However, when you lose, I'm

440
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I I was throwing chairs around, but

441
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: only in the back room. I told my coach, excuse me.

442
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 1: One moment I shut the door, I went to a

443
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: dark room and I didn't even know the object, and

444
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: I was just like I walked back out and I'm like,

445
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: all right, let's talk. But sometimes you're gonna do that.

446
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: Like I know what it's like to be that competitive.

447
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: Like I played in a baseball program in college where

448
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: there was no cursing, but every once in a while

449
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: I had to go into like the bathroom and like

450
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: bite my hand and you know, have a moment to

451
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 1: myself before rejoining the group. And uh, you know, sometimes

452
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: it's talking about mental health and all these things, Like

453
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: sometimes the most toxic thing is not letting it out right.

454
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,199
Speaker 1: That's talking to somebody, not getting it off your chest. Um,

455
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: there's so many ways. I mean, we gotta have to

456
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 1: do this again. A lot of parents, a lot of kids,

457
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: coaches and such will listen to this and they're hanging

458
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: on your every word, like, what's the best way for

459
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: you from your experience to to approach you know, youth

460
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 1: sports today. If you can give some feedback to some

461
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: parents out there about how they should go about what

462
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: what worked for you. I know we covered it, but like,

463
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, take us through for a couple of minutes, like,

464
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: what's the best way to approach youth sports today? For

465
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 1: young kids and sports? I definitely think that this is

466
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: what I want to do when I have kids. But um,

467
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: what I want to do is not push them into

468
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: going into anything if they don't want to do sports

469
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: all the way up until they're ten years old, and

470
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 1: I'm not going to force them to do sports. My

471
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 1: husband was pushed into we were wrestling, and that grew

472
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 1: resentment for the sport. I found him in wrestling, by

473
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: the grace of God, but he still had a resentment

474
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 1: for the sport that even till this day cannot really

475
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: be mended and parents. You don't want to live vicariously

476
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: through your kid and just force something on them that

477
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 1: it's in the long run, they're just going to resent

478
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: and it's something that you love. And so what I

479
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: plan to do with my kids is if they want

480
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: to be in three different sports, then by golly, let

481
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 1: them be in three different sports. And if it's not

482
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 1: the sport that you want them to be in, then

483
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 1: so be it, like it's okay. But if they do

484
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: happen to choose wrestling, make sure that it's fun for them.

485
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: Ask him every single day, every other day, Hey, how

486
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 1: is practice? Hey? What was something funny that you did?

487
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: There's something that I've been um working on with my teammates,

488
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: just getting back into the swing of things, and it's

489
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: telling telling one another something positive that happened at the

490
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: end of practice, not a negative, just a positive like, hey,

491
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: what do you find fun that practice today? Did you

492
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 1: learn a move like this? Just uplifting them because wrestling

493
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 1: is hard, there's no doubt about it, Like, don't don't

494
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: don't bring light on the negativity of it, especially with

495
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: their kids, because they just need to have fun like that,

496
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: that's the end all, be all. And if they're sad

497
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: about something, tell them, hey, chin up, I know how

498
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: you feel, but you're gonna get them next time. And

499
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,239
Speaker 1: that's our job as parents is to just lift them up.

500
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: I don't know a kid that functions well that way

501
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,360
Speaker 1: when you tell them that they stuck and they better

502
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: do better next time. I don't know a kid that

503
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 1: will mentally grow up to, you know, like have confidence

504
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: and that. So just encourage them and everything that they're doing.

505
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: And when it comes to making weight for something. As

506
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 1: a wrestler, I will say this summer experience, when I

507
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: have to go through an entire night of not drinking

508
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 1: or eating because I have to make weight the next day,

509
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: that just makes me hate wrestling more. I'm an adult, though,

510
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 1: so I'm choosing to do that. When you force a

511
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: kid to do that, that just makes being a kid

512
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: not fun and that's going to grow that resentment. So again,

513
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: I just say, make sure it's within five pounds. And

514
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, so I don't know how like

515
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: their weight works, so maybe it's like within three pounds.

516
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: Just make sure that they're enjoying themselves. Three takeaways. Ask

517
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 1: them about something positive. Make sure that you're encouraging them

518
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 1: as well, like you tell you make them say something positive,

519
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 1: and you tell them something positive and make sure that

520
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 1: they're they're within like five pounds of whatever weight class

521
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 1: they're choosing, and just make sure they get better. They

522
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: get better. I love it. I cannot wait. We gotta

523
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: follow up with this. I cannot thank you enough to

524
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: come out of love following your career. You definitely are off.

525
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: Your energy is off the charts, and I can't think

526
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: enough for coming on, sharing your feedback, sharing your perspective.

527
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: Truly honor and humble to have you on. Thank you

528
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 1: for having me, Nick. I love it, Like this is

529
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: one thing I know. I'm like, protect your children please.

530
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 1: That's two merriments. Stock world class wrestler, Olympic gold medalists

531
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 1: and two time world champion. Thanks for listening to the

532
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: Reform Sports Project podcast Dominick Boncourt and Our goal is

533
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 1: to restore a healthy balance and perspective in all areas

534
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, please follow

535
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 1: us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out our

536
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: website by searching for the Reform Sports Project