WEBVTT - Miss Stella License to Drive 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:16.560 Misspelling with Tori spelling an iHeartRadio podcast. You guys, huge, 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:22.440 huge milestone in this household. Today is my daughter's birthday. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.919 It's Stella's birthday. Happy birthday, baby, sorry O. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:27.400 Happy birthday, Sa. 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:35.160 And something really big happened. If I say it out loud, 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:39.519 it's true, Stella. I'm gonna close my eyes because it's 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:44.240 hard for this mom's say it. Stella got her driver's license. 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:51.560 Oh my god, amazing. Oh. 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.480 I have mixed emotions. I think it's okay to say 0:00:54.520 --> 0:01:00.440 that as a mom. I am so proud of this 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:05.480 human I can't even express words. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:07.880 But oh gosh. 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:12.480 So I have five kids. As you guys know, Stella 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:18.360 is my oldest daughter. I remember being pregnant with her 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:24.759 and we had a fung shwe guy. David was his name. 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:28.880 I was pregnant with her. I had Liam. Liam was 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:33.119 my firstborn. They are fifteen months apart, and we were 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:37.440 filming our show, our reality show, Tori and Dean and 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:42.640 we our first home we had just bought, and we 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:47.520 brought him on to do this fung shwe and he 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.480 was like, you're carrying a daughter. I was like, okay, David, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:52.520 did you google me? 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:52.840 You know? 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:58.440 Everyone knows this because we found out with our first two. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:00.600 We found out and then you know, a boy and 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.440 a girl. We kind of had the surprise with Hattie, Finn, 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:09.720 and and bo I did find out, but Hattie and 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:14.560 Finn were total surprises. But he was like, you're carrying 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:17.680 a daughter and I was like yes, and he was like, 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:22.280 oh boy, and I was like what no pun intended, 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:26.840 Oh boy, no, David, it's a girl. But he turned 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.720 to Dean and he was like, oh Dad, you're gonna 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:34.120 have your hands full. And I was like tell me, 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.800 and he's like, she is going to be the one. 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:44.560 She is gonna challenge you guys, you're gonna always butt heads. 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:48.400 But she's going to be strong, she's gonna be independent. 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:52.840 She is going to be her own human. And it's 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:58.600 interesting because I call her Buggy lady bug, and I 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.519 think we all come up with names for our kiddos 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.880 when they're born. Just something comes to us, Like Liam, 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.760 who's eighteen now, I still call monkey and he allows 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:12.720 me to grateful and it came out of nowhere. Like 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:15.640 he was like always in his little jumping thing and 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:16.200 he'd be like. 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:18.480 Jump jump, jump jump, and I was like always like 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:19.720 a little monkey. 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.480 Jump dump jump, So monkey was it, and I don't know. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:28.920 Lady Bug when she came out, she was I don't know. 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.320 I was just like Ladybug. 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.399 And to this day she has everything Ladybugs. She's she's 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:39.480 still She just made a memory box with her best 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:43.160 friend Cora, and she was like, look, mom, first of all. 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.120 Memory box, Oh my god, it's starting. 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:50.320 What was the thing that girls' parents used to make 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:54.960 for their for their kids, and this is archaic when 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.080 they would go on to get married, they would have 0:03:58.160 --> 0:03:58.760 this box. 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:01.600 They would guys know what I'm talking about. It was 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:06.160 almost like a chest, like a hope chest. 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:09.880 Yes, it was that, and then it had other names 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:13.120 and it was kind of like when you got married, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.359 the parents would give this to you and your. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.400 Husband at the time because this is going way back, 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:21.680 you know. 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:27.440 And yeah, so she started making her memory box and 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:32.600 she good things. You know, I have everything and anything, 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:36.800 as you guys know first and storage, but now in boxes, 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.040 so I don't know where anything is. So good things 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:42.120 she's planning, but she had lady Bugs in there. 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:43.719 So yeah, lady Bug. 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:47.280 Was her thing, and then it turned into Buggy and 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.279 then you know, it takes all different forms when you 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.480 have a nickname, and like in my phone, she's under Bugita, 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:58.680 like my Bugita. I don't know, but that's my Buggy 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:03.800 and was very much I would say he's totally like 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:09.400 my kid now, but he was my first and he 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:15.080 definitely gravitated towards Dean. And you know, as a mom, 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.200 a first time mom, I was like, oh, like I 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:22.080 would sometimes walk into his room, you know, when he 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.120 was a baby, like two or something, to put him down, 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.240 and he would cry and be like no, dad, And I'm. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.040 Like his first word was dad, like daddad. 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:34.920 And as a first time mom and Dean had had 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:38.560 a son from has a son from his first marriage, 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.160 I was like, oh, my. 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:41.479 Heart is crushed. 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.560 But he always was like a daddy's boy. Now he's 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:50.440 a mama's boy. But yeah, So when Buggy was born, though, 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.800 oh my goodness, you know they always say daddy's little girl. Now, 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.960 she was all mama like from jump. And she was 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.640 also the type that, oh my god, she's gonna hate me. 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:07.560 Hopefully she won't listen to this. She was also the 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.640 type like Liam was like the zen baby. In fact, 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:17.120 he came out with sleeping. He came out sleeping and 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.080 they had to you know, do the thing when they 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.839 spank their butt and like get them going, and they're like, okay, 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.960 he's fine, he's fine. 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.480 Stella came out screaming. 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.720 I have a picture of her as they like brought 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:33.000 her up to me and she's just like ah, screaming. 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:40.000 And it's so interesting because she with Liam, we we 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:44.000 had a good night. I think maybe firstborn's this is 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:48.400 always the case, Like it's like the universe being like, here, 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:50.760 we threw you a good egg, so you'll. 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:52.479 Keep pro creating and have more. 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:56.440 Because Liam, like we were like Dan and I were like, 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.120 we're not going to change being. 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:58.880 Who we are. 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:01.280 We don't want to be like, oh, we're all baby 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:05.600 and we're going to stop our lives. We hope that 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.160 we can incorporate the baby into our lives so we 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:13.000 can still you know, have a life. And you know, 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:15.480 we were kind of still in the honeymoon period. We 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.120 got pregnant with Liam. I think six months after we 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:23.800 were together, so nine months. I might be screwing this up, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:29.040 but anyway, Liam was the type of baby that we 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:31.800 could bring him in his carrier first of all, when 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:35.320 he was two and a half months old. We had 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.560 a job opportunity with Tory and Dean to go to 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:45.200 London and film there and do some shows. And everyone 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:47.240 was like, I'm sure you don't want to do this. 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:48.680 Your baby's two and. 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:53.280 A half months and I was like, well, working parents, 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.680 you know, you got to strike while the iron's hot. 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.200 And the baby's new. No, I don't know. We did it. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:03.400 And I just member being on a plane and it 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:08.320 was what eleven hours and oh my. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:09.680 God, what was his name? 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:15.440 Uh? Colombo, Peter Fox, I'm pretty sure it was him. 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:20.280 But we got on the plane with our newborn and 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.400 it was one of those fancy planes like you know 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:27.360 that had like two levels and like a bar on 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.600 top of you know I'm talking about. I don't know 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:34.559 if that exists anymore. Nah, but he literally saw us 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:39.520 walk in with a newborn, and I'll never forget. We 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:44.560 walk on and we had our baby nurse with us. Patsy, 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.360 who everyone knows is like a second mother to me 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.760 and a grandma to Grandma, a second grandma to my kids. 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.720 We walked on and we remember that he was like 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:59.840 he literally looked at us. 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.559 I guess with one eye. I didn't know he had 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:04.760 only one eye. 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:11.560 Okay, pushed the button for the flight attendant and they 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:16.400 came and he's like, can I be moved because he 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:18.520 was like, oh, I don't want to do this flight 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:23.760 with a baby, a newborn, So anyway, I'm sure, lovely man. 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.520 It was nothing against us. He wanted some peace and 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.040 quiet and he thought, oh, here comes a newborn and 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:30.480 they're sitting right near me. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:32.200 So he got. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:37.200 Moved to the second floor of this fancy ass plane. 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:37.720 I don't know. 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:46.480 Anyway, The ironic thing is Liam went to sleep and slept. 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:47.520 The entire flight. 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:53.000 Like people were praising us, like, oh my gosh, we 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:56.880 didn't even know there was a baby on a plane. 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.160 What was that Snakes on a Plane? God, I love 0:09:59.200 --> 0:09:59.840 that movie. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.040 Anyway, we didn't know there was a baby on the plane. 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.560 Like he's so well behaved and we're like, thank you. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:12.760 And anyway, we went to Europe and met Gordon Ramsay 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:16.160 for the first time, worked with him and he was like, 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:18.280 I got to set you up and one of his 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.880 restaurants and it was like literally ten o'clock at night 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:28.400 was the Rezo. I'm like, oh man, well, we took Liam. 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:33.760 He went to sleep. We had his little like carrier 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:38.960 covered him up and he slept through dinner. And it 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:42.719 was always like that, Like I remember being at Hamburger 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:47.400 Mary's and this is a very famous gay bar in 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:52.560 West Hollywood and Tory and Dean we had one of 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:58.640 our rap parties there and obviously we brought Liam and 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.720 just had him in there, and yeah, it's like, what 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:07.000 was that movie? Reese Witherspoon was like, oh, look at you. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:10.520 You have a baby in a bar. Yeah. 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:14.559 Anyhow, I always think about that and I'm like, yeah, 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:20.840 that was me. So my personality, new mom, and I 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:23.680 have a baby in a gay bar. Hello, welcome to 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.280 my world. So on brand. 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.040 And he was totally quiet. 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.960 Anyway, I'm telling the story because we were like, we 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:35.400 didn't adjust our lives around the baby because we brought 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:41.000 him everywhere and he was super great and super quiet and. 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:45.079 Just such an easy, easy baby. 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:50.720 Patsy, our baby nurse, had taken care of hundreds of babies, 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.600 and she was like she still says to this day, 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:59.280 Liam the best baby, easiest baby I ever had. And 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:04.120 then came sorry, I'm getting back to topic. 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:05.440 So Stella. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:08.079 We were like, oh, Stella's here, and we're gonna lead 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.840 our lives and first time we went out to dinner, 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:14.840 and I remember we were in westwo Is at Carmines 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.719 and it was it was early. It wasn't like ten 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:22.040 o'clock again. It was like, you know, six seven o'clock. 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.760 And we have Liam and he's easy, and me and 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.800 Dean and we have Stella and we got in there 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.839 and she was just like. 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:31.200 Screaming. 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.600 So I'm like, you know, rocking her walking around the 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:38.360 restaurant and we had to leave. We could not eat dinner. 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.319 And Dean's like, we're not going out again, like we're 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.880 staying home. And I think we stayed home for like 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:47.240 six months. Like what I'm saying is she was not 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.960 an easy baby. She cried, she pouted. You like couldn't 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:55.120 even like sleep train, Like what was that? 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:55.440 Like? 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.120 You couldn't do that? You had to carry her around. 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.000 You were like dead ass tired. And I'm like, oh 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.800 my god, I don't know. If she had been my first, 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:07.400 I might have been like, well, I might have been 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:10.880 one done. Like she was not an easy baby, but 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:18.280 we bonded so hardcore, like she literally never left me, 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.120 and it was like she just wanted to be with me. 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:26.640 And I just remember thinking I was so I was 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:31.119 so grateful I had a boy to start with, because 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.079 I felt like, and this is public knowledge, and I 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:38.280 love an adore my mom and respect her. But we 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.080 had had, you know, a complicated relationship over the years, 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:46.720 and it put in my brain that mothers and daughters 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:51.080 have kind of a complicated thing. So when I found 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.000 out I was pregnant with a boy, first, I was like, okay, great, 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.680 even though I'm such a girly girl, I was like, okay, 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.920 a boy. Yeah, maybe I'm just meant to have boys. 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.040 And when I found out I was pregnant with Stella, 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:07.560 I was really nervous because I didn't know what was 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:12.440 gonna happen. And I just remember, I don't know where 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:16.720 this comes from, but I at the time was very 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:21.920 nervous with touch and hugs, and it was out of 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:27.160 even though I'm self professed hugger, like I love hugging people, 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.200 but it's like when people would hug me, I'd be 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:34.800 like uncomfortable in my brain, like how long do I 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:35.280 hug for? 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:36.480 Like what do I do? 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:40.800 Like, you know, it was a thing, and I just 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.640 remember when I had a girl. And I've written about 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.600 this in my books, so it's out there, but I 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.960 was like, okay, you know, when she was little, I 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.720 just you know, she always wanted to hold me and 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.240 hug me, and I'm like, I would hug her and 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:01.760 she'd be holding onto me so hard, and I had 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.560 the moments where I was like, this is uncomfortable, and 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:09.040 then I told myself, you know what, I'm going to 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:12.800 push past that, and so I would just hold her 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:18.200 even harder and hugger even deeper until I pushed past 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:23.240 my comfort zone and just we melded together. And anyway, 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:26.160 she's I love all five of my kids. I have 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:31.040 no favorites, but I'm just kidding. Any parent that says 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:34.320 they don't have a favorite is a liar. But no, 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.160 I love them all in different ways. They're so unique, 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.880 and having five you really get to see the unique 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:45.000 humans they start with and become. But Stella we had 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:51.960 that bond that she kind of oh gosh, Liam made 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:57.400 me a mother literally for the first time, but Stella 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:04.040 made me a mom, a mom that really I feel 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:08.240 like she healed on some level some childhood trauma that 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:10.240 was just in my own head. It wasn't even a 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:15.000 real thing anyway. We always had that really really special bond. 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:19.120 But Buggy was always the type. You know, she cried 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:25.040 a lot, she screamed, She was not easy and was oblivious, 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.960 oblivious to everything. You know, when you're teaching your kids, Okay, 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.800 we're going to cross the street now, you know, look 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:36.880 both ways. You teach them, you know, Liam on point. 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.720 And it's like Stella had her head in the clouds always. 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:43.480 And I was always like, gosh, I'm super worried about 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.560 Buggy in the future because we've told her a million 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:47.520 times look. 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:49.920 Both ways, and she'd just be like la la la 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:53.680 la la. We literally would be like, oh, Buggy, la 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:54.880 la la la la. 0:16:55.400 --> 0:17:00.520 Anyway, cut into the future, here's Buggy and Buggy is 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:05.120 what David the fun Shue guy said. She's definitely a Gemini. 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:09.199 She has the kindest heart, but she will argue a 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.480 point to the point where you're like, I'm not even 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:15.000 sure what we're talking about. I always tell her, like, God, 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.920 you'd be a great lawyer because you'll have a conversation 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.480 and if she sees it one way, she will just go, 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.479 go go. And he also said, like she's gonna not 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.240 only stand up for herself, but for other people. I 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.520 remember what I'm saying like she could be in politics, 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.760 this girl. And I was like wow, and she was 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:36.360 just like my little buggy and so oblivious and so sweet. 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:38.720 I always got this like she'd. 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.359 Come home from school in preschool and be like, no 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:45.000 one likes me, no one wants to play with me, 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.440 recurring this one on and on into school. 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:51.160 She had anxiety. 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:55.000 She went through a lot of bullying at one point 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.959 that we've talked about and overcame it. But you know, 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.800 I would to the teacher, I'd be like, mama Bear, 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:05.040 I'd be like, my kid says, she's not included. She's 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.639 you know, you know, if they're playing a game, like 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:11.600 you know, she is just left out and that's not okay. 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:14.600 And they were like, we don't know the child you're 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:19.520 talking about. Like she every kid likes her, she plays 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.360 with everyone. And I was always like, what is going on? 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:24.760 And I think it was in her own mind. She 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:29.960 wasn't at the time, she wouldn't put herself forward. Well 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:33.919 cut to this is the most independent human I have 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:40.080 ever met. She is everything along Swaig guy said, which 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:45.600 is wild. But I'm so proud of her. I always joke, 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:47.560 I'm like, Stella, you. 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.400 Got out she's like, got out. 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:55.320 From what I'm like, I don't know, like me, like 0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.680 I led my I went through my whole life. I'm 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.240 fifty two now and I'm just finally learning who I 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:07.840 am and discovering and trying to elevate and get out 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.119 of my own head, my own I led a life 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:14.680 so full of fear that it really like it's kind 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:20.760 of wild. And I vicariously live through Stella because I'm 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:25.560 watching her not become me, and I guess that's a 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:29.280 hard thing to say, but I'm really proud of it. 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:33.680 And while we're so alike. 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.400 People meet us and I were like, oh my god, 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:38.680 you guys are the same human like, same humor. You 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:44.640 guys talklike like we finish sentences like it's crazy. And 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:48.200 everyone says, don't be best friends with your kid, Well, 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:53.359 that kid's my best friend, not ashamed like and she 0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:57.720 would say the same, but she's so not me, and 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:04.680 I'm so proud of that. And you know, emotionally, I'm 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:09.040 proud that I babied her and I was there for 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:12.000 her and all about feelings because I felt like in 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:14.919 my home growing up, we didn't talk. It was a 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:19.800 different time, like you know, my parents were awesome and 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:24.080 I had a great childhood, but feelings wasn't something we 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:26.399 all talked about, and so. 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:28.880 I made sure that that was different. 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:34.000 And you know, Dean came from a family that didn't 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:38.879 really talk about feelings, so emotionally again, I felt like, I. 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:42.040 You know, you don't get a manual. We know that. 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:48.800 But I healed myself through being something different that I 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:51.520 wanted for her that I wish I had had for myself, 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:55.359 if that makes sense. So I always talked about emotions 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.080 to the point where I was like, probably too much 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:03.800 like open and one, like talk to me, what's going on. No, 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:16.040 I'm proud of that. Anyway, this human is like next level. 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:20.000 She she went through bullying, she came out on the 0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:24.399 other side. She's like getting straight a's in school. The 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:29.800 world is her oyster. So I'm so corny, but literally 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:32.440 like this is the one. This is the one that's 0:21:32.480 --> 0:21:34.760 gonna leave home and never come back. And you know 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:38.440 what I mean, they always come back. It'll be really 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:42.800 hard for me, but I'm so happy that she leads 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:46.760 her life differently. Like we go out and I'm a 0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:50.320 people pleaser, right and I'm trying to be a reformed 0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:54.040 people pleaser. I'm working on it, you know. Brian calls 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:57.399 me Tory two point zero, except the other day he 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:01.200 was like, hurry it up, You're like one point five, now, 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:03.840 come on, get there, and I'm like, yeah, I'm on it. 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:04.639 I'm on the road. 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:08.560 But Stella like, we would go somewhere. And I always 0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:11.800 want everyone to like me. It's like my theme in life, 0:22:12.640 --> 0:22:15.720 you know, because of who my dad was, and nine 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:18.600 O two one zero. I go to a fault like 0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:23.159 I you know, I'm not just nice to people like 0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:28.159 I go it's like too much almost, and that to 0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:30.639 me thinks I just want to please everybody. 0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:35.040 So Stella, she cuts to the chase, like, we'll. 0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:40.560 Go somewhere and if someone like isn't seven eleven, sorry 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:45.119 Rando seven eleven, I'm like the guy wasn't very nice 0:22:45.240 --> 0:22:48.119 and he kind of wasn't being fair, and I'm like, okay, 0:22:48.160 --> 0:22:51.040 it's okay, everything's fine, and she was like, no, mom, 0:22:51.359 --> 0:22:52.640 it's not fine, and. 0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:53.040 She's like. 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:56.520 That wasn't okay the way you talk to us, And 0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:59.920 I'm just like, oh, cringing, this is like a year ago. 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:01.200 Oh And I'm like. 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:02.960 What do you mean, Oh my god, he's going to 0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:06.479 recognize me and be like, oh my god, her and 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:11.080 her daughter weren't nice. And she's like, mom, it's great 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:15.160 that you want to be nice. You are nice. You're 0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:20.520 kind to a fault, but it's okay when there's injustice, 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:24.600 it's okay to speak up for yourself. And I'm like, 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:27.480 oh my god. At the time, she was like fifteen. 0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:31.560 My god, she's seventeen day, so two years ago I 0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:37.240 was just like whoa. So I'm like learning from my kid. Anyway, 0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:42.040 she got her driver's license, and she's like a planner, 0:23:42.200 --> 0:23:46.760 she is on it. So got her driver's license. She 0:23:47.000 --> 0:23:50.679 was I want to say nervous, but not nervous. I 0:23:50.840 --> 0:23:55.080 was more nervous than she was. And we went there and. 0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:56.560 She had all her paperwork. 0:23:56.680 --> 0:24:00.520 Of course me, I'm like super organized and this is 0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:04.560 I need to work on this. But I'm like, uh, 0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:06.680 do you have everything? And she's like yep, yep, got it, 0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:11.159 got it. She made the appointment everything. I hate the phone. 0:24:11.320 --> 0:24:14.359 I'm like terrified to like call the doctor's office and 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:17.239 make an appointment. Stella's like I'll do it, and she's like, hi, 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:19.560 I'm calling, and it's like, oh my god. She's just 0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:22.480 in some ways the opposite. She's she's the human I 0:24:22.480 --> 0:24:26.200 hope to become one day. But anyway, she had all 0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:30.160 the paperwork. We get there and you know, there's that 0:24:30.240 --> 0:24:34.959 moment when they're like, okay, mom, you can go, and 0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:38.240 we're going in and before that, we're going over everything 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:41.920 and oh my god, there's this thing called smog. 0:24:42.680 --> 0:24:44.119 What's it called? She told me. 0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:47.960 Smog. It stands for all the things you're supposed to do? 0:24:47.960 --> 0:24:51.080 Do you guys know what I'm talking about, like signal, 0:24:52.200 --> 0:24:55.320 all the things you're supposed to the checklist. We did 0:24:55.359 --> 0:24:59.479 all the checklist. I'm so I'm so like old school. 0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:03.360 I'm like, do you want to practice parallel parking? She's like, Mom, 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:06.080 they don't do that anymore. You just have to literally 0:25:06.200 --> 0:25:08.760 back up in a straight line and not hit the curb. 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:11.800