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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. His podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes.

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Speaker 2: Only these You need help, You're the problems.

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Speaker 3: Come on, come.

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Speaker 4: Down, go craab, take a pill. I think you're insane.

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Speaker 2: Do what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 2: it's Lisa Lampinelli. And you know they said it wouldn't happen.

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Speaker 2: They said, hey, well, Bau McDowell, Lisa's guests ever get

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Speaker 2: invited anywhere Twice once they've seen and heard him. They

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Speaker 2: said no, But I said, yes, yes, he's back, because honestly,

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Speaker 2: I didn't get to any of the ship I wanted

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Speaker 2: to ask you about in the first episode, because I

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Speaker 2: am dying to know about a fall down drunk who

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Speaker 2: ends up going from a messy little bitch to being married.

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Speaker 2: And I put this in quotes. Man, So here is

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Speaker 2: my friend, Beau McDowell. Bo tell people where they can

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Speaker 2: find you.

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Speaker 3: Find me at bo mcdell comedy Bo b e A

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Speaker 3: U stupid.

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Speaker 2: I can't stand it. Yeah whatever. Also here is Celia,

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Speaker 2: our producer, say, Hi Celia, Hi Celia. Okay, Celia could

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Speaker 2: be found at Celia Andrescorner's called Romano. She's taken less

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Speaker 2: abuse with Nick not here. So I think you would

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Speaker 2: rather have Bo in the studio. I think so too.

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Speaker 2: I know that will not be a surprise to hear

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Speaker 2: when you're Nick and listening at home, because he doesn't

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Speaker 2: listen anyway. God forbid he to hear his own pace. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we shut up, so lo here he was here last

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Speaker 2: week talking, well last week, I'm clearly wearing the same shirt.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, let's address the shirt. We didn't

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Speaker 2: even address the shirt. Okay, my friend Gabe Brian, not

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Speaker 2: that I have a straight friend Brian, but Gabe Brian

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Speaker 2: went and got me a shirt that AI made up.

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Speaker 2: I guess he fed my picture to it. And it

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Speaker 2: says cinnamon TOAs cunt and has me And that does.

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Speaker 3: Look like my dog does.

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Speaker 2: But I don't look like that too. Thank you in

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Speaker 2: a strapless secret trans for God's sake. But the reason

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Speaker 2: I bring up, thank you Brian for the shirt. But

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Speaker 2: the reason I bring up the shirt is because, like

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Speaker 2: clearly we're taping this in the same day, because I

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Speaker 2: held you over so BO Part two, and if you

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Speaker 2: didn't listen to episode one, go back and listen to it.

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Speaker 3: Gims.

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Speaker 2: Well, no, the fact that they know your story that

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Speaker 2: you were black, got drunk by twenty one, that you

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Speaker 2: finally got sober, you picked up CBD. But that doesn't

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Speaker 2: care out supposedly, and you've been sober for nine years.

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Speaker 2: But what I really invited you to talk about is

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Speaker 2: what I want to talk about now, which is it

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Speaker 2: fascinates this whole dating and or being a relationship before

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Speaker 2: and after sobriety. How does it work? It's just how

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Speaker 2: does it look different? So your dating life, you were

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Speaker 2: an awkward tine who didn't really date much.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was never I wasn't the toast of the town.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it looks like Shrek. Yeah yeah, and no one

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Speaker 2: wanted to let you have an ass grab.

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Speaker 3: No. No, it was very uh yeah, there was a

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Speaker 3: lot of defense being played in my direction. But I uh,

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Speaker 3: you know, I dated here and there. But the thing is,

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Speaker 3: when you're drinking, uh, you're not such a great date,

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Speaker 3: you know, especially when you're really drinking a lot. So

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Speaker 3: I was very emotionally shut off and numbing myself. Okay,

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Speaker 3: And so like, if listen, if I was some hot

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Speaker 3: to trot guy, if I was this hairy styles she speaks, so, yes,

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Speaker 3: you know, there'd be some women that would be willing

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Speaker 3: to jump along the ride for that. But when you're

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Speaker 3: a fat smell and it's gross to be in the

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Speaker 3: same bed with you, you know, there's not a lot of

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Speaker 3: women that are going like, you know what, he's numbing

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Speaker 3: and he's miserable and he doesn't really talk to me

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Speaker 3: about anything emotionally and he's gross. Well that's the thing.

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Speaker 2: It's like, what do you hear? These poor women though?

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Speaker 2: You think to yourself, they must have really hated themselves. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you there wasn't a justification. And I bet a

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Speaker 2: lot of them did the rescuer thing we talked about

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Speaker 2: last episode. They were like, well, if he falls in

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Speaker 2: love with me, I can change all that. Was there

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Speaker 2: any of that in your life?

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Speaker 3: No, because I was so clearly not.

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Speaker 2: They were like, rescuing would not ever occur to them.

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Speaker 3: I also like, you know, when I was going out

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Speaker 3: when I was younger, I was never I never thought

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Speaker 3: like going out to get laid tonight because it was

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Speaker 3: not in my like I didn't have that as like

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Speaker 3: a con confidence level, you know. I was never like,

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Speaker 3: you know, if I really go out and wear my

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Speaker 3: nice shot, my nice.

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Speaker 2: Shirt, your Hawaiian shirt pants.

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Speaker 3: Yeah they're gonna be flucking you know. So I never

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Speaker 3: thought that that would happen. I was more like you

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Speaker 3: ever seen Super Bad of course, when they're like when

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Speaker 3: they're like, dude, like, how a chick's gonna go for

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Speaker 3: this unless we're not drunk, you know, Like that was

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Speaker 3: like the uh, the prevailing thought of the day. So

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Speaker 3: it was like, yeah, dude, I'm gonna go, and like

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Speaker 3: the focus is gonna be on like partying and drinking

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Speaker 3: and using drugs and hang out with my friends, and

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Speaker 3: like if I backed my way into a piece of clam,

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Speaker 3: then then there was like I also have nothing to

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Speaker 3: offer at the end of that. So like some girls,

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Speaker 3: you know, you have like a night and then you

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Speaker 3: just go like, yeah, man, you should probably you know,

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Speaker 3: just keep keep it moving.

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Speaker 2: Were there girls you hooked up with who actually wanted

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Speaker 2: to like see you again? Yes, I love what I'm

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Speaker 2: the most disgusted look on my face because like, you're

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Speaker 2: cute now, but also I can't imagine a guy cute

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Speaker 2: enough when he's drunken, crazy.

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Speaker 3: No. No, And I think that there are a lot

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Speaker 3: of women that were like, there's something there with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're a good human being. There's something good

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Speaker 2: inside and women can sense that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's tough to see through the rest. So

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Speaker 2: there were a few that kind of were like, I want.

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Speaker 3: A little Especially when I was younger, there were a

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Speaker 3: few that were like, I just don't understand why you're

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Speaker 3: doing the things that you're doing. And I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: you know, hit the road.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you couldn't even go there.

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Speaker 3: No, But I wasn't really open to having the emotional

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Speaker 3: discussion of like what's going on.

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Speaker 2: So there was no let me you could not respond to,

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Speaker 2: let me love you through this boat desperado. Why don't

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Speaker 2: you come to your senses? Get out riding fences, dude?

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Speaker 3: The walls were so up. But you know, I mean

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Speaker 3: we there were there were fun nights, and there was.

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Speaker 2: You know, I come down.

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Speaker 3: There were girls that you could joke with and just

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Speaker 3: have a time with that I still would talk to

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Speaker 3: to these days, you know, like friendship we.

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Speaker 2: Call those people Celia's So what bo changed?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: What so in your first relationship? We're how old were

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Speaker 2: you like when you had your first real relationship?

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Speaker 3: Twenty three?

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Speaker 2: Twenty three? So were you sober yet?

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Speaker 3: I had just gotten sober?

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Speaker 2: Okay, we touched on this last episode just briefly. So

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Speaker 2: you how many months or weeks or days?

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Speaker 3: Maybe ninety?

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, because ninety is a big thing in AA

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Speaker 2: and all the program because you're supposed to go to

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Speaker 2: ninety meetings and ninety days. Did you do that?

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Speaker 3: I did? Yeah? And the whole time I was like

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Speaker 3: down for Craam Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: And was she there the whole time?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah. We went to all the same meetings together.

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Speaker 2: And so basically you should if you want to actually

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Speaker 2: take your sobriety seriously. Folks go to single sex meetings

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Speaker 2: yeah if you are straight, yeah, and opposite sex meetings

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Speaker 2: if you're a gay guy. If you're a gay guy,

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Speaker 2: you go to the woman's meetings. That's what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 2: So you will see this girl at AA. Did you

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Speaker 2: like her from a distance?

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Speaker 3: I did? Yeah, I mean I just like I was

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Speaker 3: she loved like the attention that I would give her,

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Speaker 3: and I kind of was just like, Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: feed that as much as possible for her so that

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Speaker 3: I can, you know. And it was very much like

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Speaker 3: we're just talking after the meeting by our cars for

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Speaker 3: three hours, you know. Yeah, and like it's it's also

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Speaker 3: you know, that thing of like we're not supposed to

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Speaker 3: be doing this really amps up anything, you know.

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Speaker 2: So it's like when you're I don't know, working somewhere

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Speaker 2: and like you're banging a co worker. Oh yeah, oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: the secret you never want that to get out because

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Speaker 2: it loses its luster. So you did not did anyone

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Speaker 2: in the meetings know you were doing that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And like people were definitely like, hey man, you

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Speaker 3: got to stop doing that. And I was too far

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Speaker 3: gone in the direction of like I need this and

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Speaker 3: and so like I had friends that were like, dude,

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Speaker 3: you're gonna relapse. This is really bad. And then like

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Speaker 3: over time, I just you know, I turned that into

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Speaker 3: a relationship. It lasted a few years. The breakup was

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Speaker 3: really hard. The aftermath of it was like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: never got to learn how to be alone, so now

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Speaker 3: I'm doing the inner the you know, the early part

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Speaker 3: of sobriety. Over it again.

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Speaker 2: You got to do it again, lucky you. But but

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Speaker 2: thank god without the booze.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know what, like I was always so

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Speaker 3: bad at that, and I ended up giving myself this

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Speaker 3: two year buffer to like really like clean up my

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Speaker 3: head a little bit. Everything happens for a reason.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so two year buffer meaning you didn't date for

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Speaker 2: two years?

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Speaker 3: No, meaning like I gave myself this two year buffer

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Speaker 3: where I didn't have to deal with the loneliness that like,

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Speaker 3: so that served.

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Speaker 2: Its purpose and then you redid it's from the beginning.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean really after that relationship edit, it felt

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Speaker 3: like I was back in like day one sobriety because

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Speaker 3: you know, when you have that like security blanket of

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Speaker 3: a relationship there, it's it's really easy to use that

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Speaker 3: like a drug of like Okay, this is my this

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Speaker 3: is my thing I can focus on. This is the

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Speaker 3: thing that's gonna make me feel better. Is she okay?

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Speaker 3: As long as she's okay, I'm feeling okay. Right. It's

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Speaker 3: all codependent bullshit and I was deep in that and

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Speaker 3: that's why that that relationship had to end. But like

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Speaker 3: the second that it ended, I was like ohh shit,

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Speaker 3: like I am now like I have to rebuild me

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Speaker 3: liking me. And that was a long process, I would say.

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Speaker 3: I mean it was a like five six year process.

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Speaker 3: It was not a you know because they're always like, oh,

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Speaker 3: wait a year until you start dating. And it's like,

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Speaker 3: how many of us, if we took a year to

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Speaker 3: learn how to love ourselves and be comfortable alone, would

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Speaker 3: actually get there right right? You know? So you have

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Speaker 3: to like let it take the amount of time that's

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Speaker 3: going to take. And I did. I did a lot

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Speaker 3: of work on that. I remember calling friends and being like,

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Speaker 3: how do you show your self affection? You know, because

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Speaker 3: the only way I knew was the old the spank

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Speaker 3: of the band nick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But I remember friends being like, dude, you know, have

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Speaker 3: you ever cooked for yourself? And I'm like, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: mean a fucking egg or something. But it's like at night,

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Speaker 3: like going to a grocery store, like picking out what

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Speaker 3: I want to eat, going this would be an exciting

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Speaker 3: thing for me to eat tonight, I'm gonna make it

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Speaker 3: for myself. I sit there like, you know, doing like

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Speaker 3: like things that build your self esteem and make you

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Speaker 3: feel like, oh, I'm taking care of myself, like all

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Speaker 3: these little things that you have to keep trying and

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Speaker 3: keep working on doing, and then all of a sudden

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Speaker 3: you're like, okay, I'm you know, I feel like I'm okay.

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Speaker 3: And then it was the whole thing of like I

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Speaker 3: am I okay in front of women that became a

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Speaker 3: whole other problem because then once I lost some weight

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Speaker 3: and women were looking at me more, it was like no,

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Speaker 3: but it's like, once they started looking at me more,

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Speaker 3: I was like, okay, I need to like every single

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Speaker 3: one that likes me. I need to like close that

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Speaker 3: deal now because that is going away tomorrow. They don't

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Speaker 3: know that, like this is like I'm gonna you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, Like I'm in a hot streak right now.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, but it's going away.

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Speaker 3: There's no way I can keep this up. And and

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Speaker 3: then I, you know, after years of that, I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 3: women do like me, and one does, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: and then you start to not feel like at first

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Speaker 3: you're making up for your childhood with dating, because you're

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Speaker 3: going like, nobody looked at me the way I wanted

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Speaker 3: to be looked at and then they do, and you

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Speaker 3: almost like hate them for it, you know, because you're

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Speaker 3: like why now you.

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Speaker 2: Know, like, yeah, it's like the one who complains I

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Speaker 2: hate the old thing of like, well, guys never looked

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Speaker 2: at me when I was fat, and now they want

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Speaker 2: to be with me that I'm thin. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you actually liked yourself a little more. So I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: like look at yourself and see what you need to

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Speaker 2: do different. So did your self esteem sort of catch

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Speaker 2: up because of that five six year spam?

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Speaker 3: It did a lot, you know, like it was all about,

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Speaker 3: like I said, all those things, but it took like

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Speaker 3: just the time, and you know, working with great therapists.

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Speaker 3: You introduced me to an amazing therapists did a lot.

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Speaker 3: I did a lot of good work with a few

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Speaker 3: years ago. And it's it's stuff like that that just

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Speaker 3: gets you ready for being able to be in a

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Speaker 3: real relationship and like accept the fact that, like you know,

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Speaker 3: because you get into a marriage and you know, it's

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Speaker 3: it's tough. There's you're dealing with somebody's you know, hopes

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Speaker 3: and dreams and their inner child and your inner child,

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Speaker 3: and and you know their parents and what they did

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Speaker 3: to them and your parents. So there's just all these

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Speaker 3: factors and you have to be able to pull yourself

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Speaker 3: out of it and not live in that unconscious space

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Speaker 3: of like just always being in hurt mode or always

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Speaker 3: being in you know, sensitive mode, and like, and.

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Speaker 2: You can't be responsible for their feelings and they can't

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Speaker 2: be responsible for yours. You know, it's not your job

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Speaker 2: to fix them, it's not their job to fix you.

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Speaker 2: So I imagine it's so delicate, dude.

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Speaker 3: It's yeah, it is. And like when I was first

286
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Speaker 3: getting sober and dating and or I had that relationship

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Speaker 3: that didn't work out, it's like everything she did, every

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Speaker 3: time she had an emotion that I felt scared by

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Speaker 3: or that seemed to affect my mental state, I felt

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Speaker 3: like I had to come in and fix it because

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Speaker 3: you know, I had was playing the role of like

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Speaker 3: she's my mom, yep, and mommy has to be okay

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Speaker 3: and all that shit, man, And then you know, you

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Speaker 3: watch that just kill you inside because you can't live

295
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Speaker 3: in that state. It's so right, it's you know, it's awful,

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Speaker 3: and and you like and you have to like just

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Speaker 3: let all that go and then figure out, like why

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Speaker 3: am I doing that? Why am I looking at the

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Speaker 3: person that I'm dating like my mother, and you know,

300
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Speaker 3: and then time goes by and you actually, if you

301
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Speaker 3: if you work on it, you might meet somebody that

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Speaker 3: isn't like your mother and you might like them, you know,

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Speaker 3: Whereas if you're staying that ship, then you're just gonna

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Speaker 3: keep meeting the people then.

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Speaker 2: Mommy, daddy, mommy, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Keep going back to the same. Well, yeah, you know, So.

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Speaker 2: What was it about? Because you met your I'll call

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Speaker 2: your current wife because I don't imagine it'll go that

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Speaker 2: long term, just kidding. You met your wife? How many

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Speaker 2: years ago?

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Speaker 3: A few? Two? Almost three? Yeah, three years ago?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So what made you recognize that this is different?

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Speaker 2: So you're not nick you know, or like I just

314
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Speaker 2: knew like that fucking bullshit, Like what made it actually

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Speaker 2: feel different? Internally?

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Speaker 3: Well? I really like respected her, and I I like

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00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 3: the way that she carried herself, Like she was so

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Speaker 3: confident and so she had this like aura of like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know what I'm doing and I'm like ready to

320
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Speaker 3: you know, take on the world and I and that

321
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 3: was something that I was just like so amazed by.

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Speaker 3: At first that was like my first reaction to her,

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Speaker 3: and then over time, like you know, she became a

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Speaker 3: friend first, Like my wife and I have a really

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Speaker 3: strong friendship where like I can hang with her and

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Speaker 3: we'd laugh and fuck around, and we have a very

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Speaker 3: similar sense of humor. There's nothing that offends her, and

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Speaker 3: we we have a we have that as our as

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Speaker 3: our basis. So like when you know, other stuff comes up,

330
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Speaker 3: like I know I can always go we can we

331
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 3: can get back to the friendship part too, right now,

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Speaker 3: So like and and that stuff that I never wanted

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00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 3: to or never had the time or the interest in

334
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 3: building because I was looking to get a fixed from

335
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 3: my childhood out of a relationship, not building, not looking

336
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 3: to experience a new person and again gain a friend

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00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,640
Speaker 3: and a lover and all that shit.

338
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Speaker 2: So it was sort of in the old days, it

339
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,880
Speaker 2: was just like getting the fix an addictive thing. Did

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Speaker 2: this not feel addictive?

341
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 3: No, it didn't. I mean, you know, obviously, when you're

342
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 3: falling in love with someone, there's always a sense of

343
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 3: like it feels really good. I want to be but

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00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,760
Speaker 3: I you know when because you know, I do stand

345
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 3: up pretty well.

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Speaker 2: I mean i'd call it stand up in quotes. Yeah,

347
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Speaker 2: and by the way, you don't stand up, you said,

348
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Speaker 2: I can't stand it. I hate you so much.

349
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Speaker 3: Sit down comedy with both Right, that's right, he's gonna pontificate.

350
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Speaker 2: Thanks for your lessons that you bestow upon the audience.

351
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a well of information. Yes you are, but

352
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 3: I uh, you know. One of the things I loved

353
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 3: about my wife when we first met was like I'd

354
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 3: be like, yeah, I got a show tonight, and she'd

355
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:24,479
Speaker 3: be like, okay, interesting, Like that's just overall like I

356
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 3: get it, like you're funny comedy.

357
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 2: I didn't want to go I get it, I understand.

358
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 3: But that's like that's how a friend would react, because

359
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 3: you know, I have friends that known for years and

360
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 3: I'm playing. Then they go, I don't give a ship.

361
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 3: You know, they don't want to see it. They don't care.

362
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: They like our friendship. That's what that's the value. And

363
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 3: I always felt like I needed to come up with

364
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 3: these all these other different types of values to show

365
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 3: women to go like, here, look at me, I'm and

366
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,439
Speaker 3: to see someone like literally be impervious to all the

367
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 3: things I was trying to show her, Like she was like, oh, yeah,

368
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,679
Speaker 3: you're you got a decent job.

369
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: And you're you know, it's fine.

370
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like you're fine. It's you that I like. You know,

371
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 3: That's what gave me this like feeling of like, oh yeah,

372
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,120
Speaker 3: I could be with this person because it wasn't out

373
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Speaker 3: of anything that I didn't.

374
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Speaker 2: Have to jump through hoops. You didn't have to like

375
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 2: impress for some reason, she liked you. Were you kind

376
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 2: of surprised, though, not because bad self esteem or anything,

377
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 2: because kind of like when it's so different, it feels

378
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 2: so different.

379
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was weird. It also felt like I think

380
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 3: when you meet somebody that and it starts working and

381
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 3: you I mean I was dating forever and it was

382
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 3: never working. You would always feel like the like you're

383
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 3: getting on the track and then all of a sudden

384
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 3: it stops and then you have to get off. Like

385
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 3: that's how it always felt. And to feel like, oh shit,

386
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,360
Speaker 3: the rides just keeps going, just keeps going. We're still

387
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 3: doing this, Like that was kind of surreal because you're

388
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 3: like waiting for the something to be wrong. Yeah, yeah,

389
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 3: you know, but I think at the same time, it's

390
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 3: like Okay, after a certain point, you just go we're

391
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 3: still going. So did you.

392
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 2: Ever do the self sabotaging thing of like trying to

393
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 2: make something wrong? Trying to find problems.

394
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 3: We had like our first big fight, yeah, and I

395
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 3: remember we met at the diner to like talk it out,

396
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 3: and like I showed up all yeah diner, and yeah,

397
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 3: I showed up all like I guess this is it,

398
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, this has gotta be the end, you know,

399
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 3: And like immediately went into it like yeah, you're probably

400
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 3: gonna leave because I did this or I wasn't good

401
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 3: enough in this way, and she was like, this isn't

402
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: a breakup, talking fucking idiot, Like yeah, in fact, like

403
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 3: why did you ask me to meet me at a diner?

404
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,120
Speaker 3: Just come over and talk to me about this shit,

405
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 3: like what's wrong with you?

406
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,640
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, then that was so different

407
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 2: for you.

408
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was expecting like the big show, you know,

409
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 3: here's the big show of how you're gonna say I'm

410
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 3: wrong and this. And she was like why, just like

411
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,640
Speaker 3: come over, let's just talk about it and figure it out.

412
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 3: We already know that this works. This is one little thing, dude.

413
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 2: So how does that behavior loop back to alcoholism and sobriety? Like,

414
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 2: what's what's the big difference in dating then and now?

415
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 3: Well, when you're when you're in an active addiction. You

416
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 3: don't really have space for You don't have space for

417
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 3: other people. But you also don't have space to look

418
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 3: at a different perspective because you are just kind of stuck.

419
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I I could not see that

420
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 3: I was like harming other people when I was drinking.

421
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: I couldn't see like well, I was like you know

422
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 3: those people who were like, I'm so sorry, you know

423
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,679
Speaker 3: you feel it was a mess.

424
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you were drunk in my dress.

425
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 3: It's weird. You were like upset that I blacked out

426
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 3: the other night you threw up on your couch. I

427
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 3: don't really see it that way, you know, like it's

428
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 3: your inability to see another person's point of view of

429
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 3: what's happened, because if you saw their point of view,

430
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 3: you would feel awful and want to change your life, right, right,

431
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 3: But you can't do That's the denial, right. It's like

432
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 3: I have to put up the smoke screen of like

433
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 3: you don't have any like you don't have a leg

434
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 3: to stand on it while you're mad at me, you know.

435
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 3: And so yeah, if you're in a relationship with someone

436
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 3: and the whole thing is like everything I do is right,

437
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 3: and everything you say I do wrong is impossible to

438
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 3: prove and you're crazy. Then that's how you become. That's

439
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 3: when women go, he's a narcissist, and they're right, and

440
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 3: they're right. Yeah.

441
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: Well so now you know, even though old habits die hard,

442
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: sometimes do things kind of do you still have a

443
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 2: reaction as if you're still yeah, a drunk, Well you

444
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: have to catch it.

445
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 3: I'd say, not a drunk, but I have a reaction

446
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 3: of I'm still at the child. So like, like Brittany

447
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 3: and I my wife, like will be having a conversation

448
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 3: about something, and I'll go, here is the ideal bows

449
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 3: version of events and version of how I'm dealing with

450
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 3: this thing. Right, this is me and my most spiritual

451
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 3: understanding where you're coming from understanding all these things. Here

452
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 3: is the child that's completely fucking afraid that you did

453
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 3: this or you said this, and it's and I can't

454
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 3: be this all the time, you know. And that's the

455
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 3: problem is, Like, as much as I want to act

456
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 3: in my ideal adults amazing spiritual way all the time,

457
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 3: like you spend too much time with your wife your

458
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 3: significant other to really be perfect, and you can't expect

459
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 3: yourself to be perfect either, and your wife, your significant

460
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 3: other has to know like, yeah, he's not gonna be

461
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 3: perfect and it's okay and sometimes I'm going to be

462
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: like worse and whatever. So I think it's like noticing

463
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 3: it and then going like having the communication skills to go,

464
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 3: yeah I was bad there. That was not great. That

465
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 3: was me being a child. That was me afraid that

466
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: you would leave me. That was me afraid that you

467
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 3: saw me in a way that I don't like being seen.

468
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 3: You know, that was all that shit.

469
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, we notice just to notice that the kids driving

470
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 2: the bus instead of what I like is why self?

471
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 2: Like the why self? It can't happen every minute of

472
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: every day, you know. But the fact that you can't

473
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: even a knowledge, oh that was my kid doing that

474
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 2: and explain it, it is really good, right because that kid

475
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 2: didn't get what it needed at the time. Right, It's like, oh,

476
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: then your significant other could kind of understand that more. Yeah,

477
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: by the way, do you know what what I think

478
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: about with you? Did you ever have the balls to

479
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 2: have sex with your shirt off? Because, like I always

480
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: think with I would like in the earl because when

481
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: you were a large guy. Trust me, I've had plenty

482
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: of guys leaving their shirts on when I because they

483
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: needed to put the tarp on.

484
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 3: Yeah you got did you?

485
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: What did you in the old days? You keep the

486
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 2: shirt on?

487
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 3: I was a big shirt on guy. Yeah.

488
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you swim with the shirt on? That would

489
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: be the way.

490
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 3: That's another level. Yeah I was, you know, no, but

491
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 3: I I definitely. I mean just that that vulnerability when

492
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 3: you when you're drinking, you're like keeping the shirt. I

493
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 3: look good in the shirt. You lie yourself, You're like,

494
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 3: I'm hot and this shirt.

495
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna throw up, you know.

496
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 3: And I mean, no one's upset at you for keeping

497
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 3: your shirt on.

498
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: Back then, absolutely true. We got some letters for you.

499
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: It's the mail bag. We got the letter you in

500
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: the mail bag. Bo, get the letters up. We're going

501
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: to read the letters today. Ow Boa is talking about relationships,

502
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: sobriety and all that crazy ship, and I'm every time

503
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: you say wife, it cracks me up because I still

504
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 2: can't believe, yeah, you're married, it's wild it is you.

505
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 2: Do you still feel weird saying it?

506
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 5: Yeah?

507
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 3: Getting a little still steels like another guy saying I'm like, yeah,

508
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 3: my wife at home. That's why sometimes I use the

509
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 3: voices because you have to just makes it feel more comfortable.

510
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 2: That's all right, all right, read is a letter. Let's

511
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: try to help these drunkens.

512
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 3: All right. Stephanie twenty nine New Jays. Oh boy, dear Lisa,

513
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 3: my name is Stephanie. I'm twenty nine.

514
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 2: Well thanks for that.

515
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 3: Okay, what's that to repeat yourself?

516
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 5: There?

517
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: And just got out of a relationship that was basically

518
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 3: built on codependency. I'm newly sober, newly single, and suddenly

519
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 3: realizing I have no idea what a healthy relationship even

520
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 3: looks like. Do I need to find myself before dating again?

521
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: Or is it just a TikTok therapist myth?

522
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: Fine your self. I am sick and tired of these

523
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 2: serial monogamous Oh they do is o from one to

524
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 2: the other to the other. And in my experience, having

525
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 2: been that person until age fifty, what happens is you

526
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 2: end up dating the exact opposite of the last one.

527
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 2: So I remember dating a guy in my thirties who

528
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: was a big drunk, dumb as fuck, really not even

529
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: a college degree, can you imagine? And I said, I

530
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: break up them. I date the biggest nerd on the planet,

531
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 2: who's like an engineering type, genius and sober as a judge.

532
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 2: If you will not judge Judy but another judge who's sober,

533
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: and then you date the opposite of that. So she

534
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 2: needs to shut that vagina up, go to code, depends

535
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,679
Speaker 2: anonymous meetings, in my opinion, and work on why you

536
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:42,160
Speaker 2: think you need men as medication, because bo I will

537
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 2: tell you Lisa Lampinelli, no, strange, it is behavior. I

538
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 2: went to a codependency rehab and they tell you not

539
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 2: to date for a year. Well, guess what, I'm scared straight,

540
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: so I don't. I'm like, no, finally I made you

541
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 2: whatever in my forties, I'm like, no, they're right, I'm

542
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 2: it's finally time to take a full year. I was like,

543
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 2: I'm going to take one year and make sure I

544
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 2: quote get through the holidays single for the first time

545
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: since high school. Well, guess how great I am. I'm

546
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 2: bragging now I got through the holidays. But I said, oh,

547
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 2: I'm going to be single for another year and see

548
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 2: what it's like to have the holidays, be happy and

549
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: more than get through. So I was stone gold, sober

550
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: off these men for two years. I think that was

551
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 2: the way to do it. Yeah, I found it at

552
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 2: forty something. I wish i'd have done it sooner. I

553
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: would have skipped a lot of the potheads and the drunks.

554
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 2: So my advice to what's her name, Stephanie from their Jersey,

555
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 2: shut the clam up, stop it clothes for business, look

556
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 2: at yourself. By the way, if you need a good book,

557
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: I'm beginning codependency work Codependent No More by Melody Beat.

558
00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 2: It's the Bible. Go to codependence and honest with evenings.

559
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 2: Ellen on meetings because sometimes there's an alcoholic or drunk

560
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 2: in your background.

561
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 5: Bo.

562
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: Do you agree? And if you don't, I will not

563
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 2: hear of it. That's right.

564
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 3: Next letter, Dear Lisa, this is from Ali at dix Hills,

565
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 3: New York. Who Ali? I believe?

566
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: Alix Hills, Dix Dix Hills, Ali Dix.

567
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 3: Ali Dicks. All right, Dear Lisa, I've been dating a

568
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 3: guy who's sober and goes to AA meetings a few

569
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 3: nights a week. He's great to hang out with, but

570
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 3: I always feel weird when I order a drink at dinner.

571
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 3: Do you think that my drinking in front of him

572
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: may be hurting his sobriety? He says, he doesn't care

573
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 3: if I drink, but I still worry. Thanks.

574
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 2: Why doesn't she try to just ruin the relationship?

575
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 3: Oh?

576
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 2: I told him. I told him, He told me it's okay.

577
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: But but is it? Yeah, I'm asking you, is it okay?

578
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: He already said it is, But is it? It's like,

579
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 2: like we said in the last episode, if his sobriety

580
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: is threatened by your fucking cosmo or your muff scoalmule

581
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 2: have a little brass container or is it copper? I

582
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 2: don't know. That's the one I got wrong on the

583
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 2: weakest link. I would say, the guy's telling you the truth,

584
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: but keep your eyes open if you any She said.

585
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: He goes to meetings a couple of times a week, right,

586
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: so that's pretty good. He probably just does it to

587
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 2: get away from her because she's annoying with this asking Yes, bo,

588
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 2: can women ask these things? They can?

589
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 3: They can?

590
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: Yeah?

591
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 3: And you know what, it's it's about her, you know,

592
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 3: this is about her being codependent. It's like it's her

593
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,959
Speaker 3: being like, oh, like, I don't know, am I causing?

594
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: And it's like if someone says they're fine, you gotta

595
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: take him with face value. You have to like except

596
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: that you your actions aren't affecting the world the way

597
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 3: you think they are.

598
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: Ah, you know, so it's her own inflated sense of

599
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: self importance and godlike qualities.

600
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 3: That's right, I'm so important. I'm such a big part.

601
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 3: He's paying, he's hanging on my every word.

602
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he's about to be he's gonna make me

603
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: go into the restroom. He's gonna sip my drink. Oh god,

604
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: it makes me sick. Women, stop it.

605
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm probably looking at you going that's kind of gross.

606
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 3: Why is she having three beers? You know, like take

607
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 3: it easy?

608
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 2: How many like drinks should somebody have before you're like, whoa,

609
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 2: that's a problem.

610
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 3: I say three is like it's a normal amount of drinks.

611
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: I would say to have like on like a even

612
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 3: on a date. I'd think three is probably a little

613
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 3: bit much. Yeah, but it's kind of like your max, right,

614
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: Like you're going past three drinks. You're going like we're

615
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 3: drinking like.

616
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 2: I always think it's weird when a woman will drink

617
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: like a bottle of wine. Isn't that four glasses? Yeah,

618
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: that's a lot. I don't know. I'm not judging, but

619
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: I am so I always go when they go.

620
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 3: I like after work, I'm just knock back a quick

621
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 3: lot by the way.

622
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 2: By the way, why do you need something all the

623
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: time to take the edge off?

624
00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 3: You know?

625
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 2: So stop it, everybody, Just stop with the drinking. That's

626
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: my advice. Next letter, Do we have one more?

627
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 3: Yeah? One more? And Annie in Tucson, Arizona. Annie, it's

628
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: someone creative, Dear Lisa.

629
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 2: No, you never meet a Lisa. That's why it's creating.

630
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: I know, like seven Lisa's Yeah. Well, maybe you're just

631
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 2: hanging around with the right people. Actually, Hello, should even

632
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: be telling me? Okay, Annie, get your gun?

633
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 3: All right, Annie, I'm twenty seven and most of my

634
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 3: friends are now microdosing with mushrooms and no longer drink.

635
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 3: I still like to have a few drinks when we

636
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 3: go out, but when I do, I feel like they're

637
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 3: judging me for it. If microdosing with mushrooms any better

638
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 3: than drinking alcohol or is it drug? A drug?

639
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: Listen, I think a drug's a drug. Although I don't

640
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: even know what mushrooms are. I wouldn't even know. I

641
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: remember once this guy. It was like a fun little

642
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 2: couple night stands, like a guy when I was in

643
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 2: my twenties in the city and he gave me one night.

644
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 2: He said, I'm going to leave these here for you,

645
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: and it was a bag of mushrooms. And I didn't

646
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: know what to do with that. And my friend said, oh,

647
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: he probably really likes you. I guess that's a big compliment, right,

648
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 2: because I didn't know what to do with him. I

649
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: think I just gave him away because I'm such a pussy.

650
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: But bo, you are not a stranger to the drugs.

651
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 2: Have you done like every drug there is except heroin?

652
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 3: I've done the drugs.

653
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: But wow, you know, to meet someone who did haro,

654
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: now you see what a disappointment it is.

655
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 5: Actually speak to someone because I'm so interested to know.

656
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: Well, listen, I didn't have a long run. I did

657
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 3: it one time and it was an accident.

658
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 2: So what he accidentally fell a.

659
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, essentially, I mean it was yeah.

660
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: Wow, this guy really boring fast. Tell me about mushrooms

661
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 2: are what is my mushrooms? Bow?

662
00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: Mushrooms are silos cybin. It's an ingredient in mushrooms that

663
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 3: will make you trip, make you high.

664
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 2: Like an acid type of situation. What does this microdosing mean?

665
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 3: Well, it's something that like younger people are getting into

666
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 3: now because they're saying that it has some like benefits

667
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,919
Speaker 3: and they're trying to like basically get high without really

668
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 3: getting high. And it's yeah, they're getting high, but it's

669
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 3: also like it's not really healthy. It's not really a thing.

670
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 3: Like it's kind of like now, ketamine therapy is a

671
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 3: big deal, and that's not a thing. I've done a

672
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 3: lot of ketamine. There's no therapy not for you. Yeah,

673
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 3: so I mean that's my judgment. But the thing is like,

674
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 3: if you're gonna drink a few drinks, if you're gonna

675
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: have some mushrooms, like, it's all the same shit. It's

676
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 3: all like, you know, you should just hang out with

677
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 3: some people that like to drink peers.

678
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,760
Speaker 2: Or have or how about you. Just like everybody doesn't

679
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: have to do everything. Like I'm watching this great movie.

680
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so good. Have you seen If

681
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: I had legs? I Kick you? Rose Byrne. She got

682
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 2: nominated for an oscar right, it's phenomenal. And she has

683
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 2: a lot of problems, not her personally, but like her

684
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 2: daughter has an eating disorder that's horrible. They can't figure

685
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: out why she won't eat. She's a little little child.

686
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 2: She has a husbands who's absentee. The apartment's falling down

687
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 2: around her, and she's a therapist on top of it,

688
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 2: and so it has a bunch of needy clients. And

689
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: she's always drinking a bottle of wine at night. Yeah,

690
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: and then she starts. I see her smoking out of

691
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 2: a it looks like a crack pipe, but it ends

692
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 2: up it's just pot right, and part of me is gone?

693
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: How do I And again I get that I'm privileged.

694
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: I don't have any of those problems. How come I

695
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: don't need to take the edge off? Probably because I

696
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 2: did for so many years, do it with men and food,

697
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's bad, that's a slipper slot. Can't

698
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: you get through life without micro dosing something or drinking

699
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 2: something or having something to take the edge off?

700
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you absolutely can.

701
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 2: I do do you?

702
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 3: I'm not taking any What do you think?

703
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 2: What do we do for our edges that might be

704
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 2: considered unhealthy? Before we both sit here with big heads

705
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 2: that were so fucking great.

706
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 3: I listen, what do you think you do? I think

707
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 3: I mean food, definitely. I like to go out and eat.

708
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: Yep.

709
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 3: Gambling for sure, you know, I'll play some poker with

710
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 3: my buddies, okay, or I'll put twenty bucks on a game.

711
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 2: And do you notice why you do that? Like as

712
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 2: you're doing it, or like ooh, I know what I'm

713
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 2: doing here.

714
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what I'm doing. You know.

715
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like, yeah, this will be a more

716
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 3: fun game. I'm gonna watch with my friends. We're gonna

717
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:53,760
Speaker 3: I'm gonna see what happens.

718
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 2: But you notice you need that hit.

719
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah it's a little I know. Oh yeah, you know, the.

720
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: Little addictive thing.

721
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

722
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: But since I'm perfect, do I have any of those

723
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: things I think I do when I say yes to

724
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 2: things I don't really think are good for me out

725
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 2: of habit?

726
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 3: Yeah.

727
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 2: So in other words, if somebody says to me, oh,

728
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: would you like to do whatever type of show, well,

729
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 2: I'm retired, but I'll come and I'll do this.

730
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

731
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you get that little hit, the heroin, the

732
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 2: little heroin. So I think before I get all hoity toity,

733
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,439
Speaker 2: it's like, well you do it too.

734
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

735
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 2: It's just that with drugs and alcohol, it's just gets

736
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 2: so ugly so fast that it's easier for those of

737
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: us who don't have the so ugly so fast to

738
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,760
Speaker 2: sit in judgment of it, right, So I'm very judge

739
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: of the mushrooms or the ketamine or all that shit.

740
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's also like I can accept. I think

741
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 3: that it's just I can accept like someone wants to

742
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 3: go and have a few beers, yeah, you know, and

743
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 3: like whatever your thing is that like everybody's brain is

744
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 3: wired so differently, you know. It's like there are people

745
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 3: that are just more comfortable, you know, doing a certain

746
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 3: thing to make them feel a little bit better. Not

747
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: saying they should do it, but I'm saying, like, right,

748
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 3: they're allowed.

749
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 2: If it's not like leading to harm, right, Yeah, Because

750
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 2: I have friends who do a gummy yeah, And I

751
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 2: used to get like furious about it and be like,

752
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: you're so weak. Like in my head i'd say that

753
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say to them, I just exit their lives.

754
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 2: But now I'm like, oh, maybe they're allowed to do

755
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 2: that because they have something that it helps them with

756
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 2: and I can't even tell they're doing it, right, Yeah,

757
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 2: So if it's if I can tell, then it pisses

758
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 2: me off.

759
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 3: Sure, So I don't know your problem. My problem.

760
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 2: It is, the truth is my favorite saying, I love it.

761
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 2: By the way, speaking of which, before we end this,

762
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: California sober. Me and you have laughed about this a

763
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: lot to explain what California sober is.

764
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,839
Speaker 3: So it's when somebody only smokes pot. I hate these

765
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 3: pe they don't drink, but.

766
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 2: I don't mind if you smoke pot. I'm probably not

767
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 2: going to be friend friends with you because I don't

768
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 2: like it. Yeah, but at least it just don't say

769
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: you're sober then say I'm a pothead. It's fine.

770
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 3: No, Well they need some credit. Yeah, no, I really,

771
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 3: I've been through something. Yeah, and I'm smoking some weed.

772
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 3: It's just, I mean, just for anyone to get high

773
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 3: constantly and then call themselves sober is ridiculous.

774
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 2: And this happens though you've seen this.

775
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 3: It does, and you know where I see it happen,

776
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 3: and I go like, whatever, man, So it's fine. Is like,

777
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 3: you know, there's a lot of people out there that

778
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 3: have like major addictions with heroin or crack or something,

779
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: and then they find themselves going California sober. And you go, well,

780
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 3: there is a case to be made that this is

781
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 3: definitely a better situation that you're living in. And you know,

782
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 3: there's harm reduction techniques that we you know, are definitely helpful,

783
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 3: but is it sobriety.

784
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: No, So it's just questioning the definition that they're using,

785
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 2: because if you go, look, I used to do, Like

786
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 2: if somebody says to me, I used to be a

787
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 2: Heroin addict, and now all I do is smoke pot

788
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: and it may managible and I'll never hopefully do Heroin again.

789
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: You go, yeah, your life's better. Yeah, But to be like,

790
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,879
Speaker 2: I'm sober, give me a hit, you know.

791
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,959
Speaker 3: It's like weird. Yeah it's not. And I think most

792
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,720
Speaker 3: people that are living that way won't like identify as sober.

793
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 3: They're more like, yeah, no, I went through this and

794
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 3: now I'm just doing this, Like.

795
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 2: What about you know, why does it bother me with

796
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: these vapes? I don't get it. I don't understand it. Yeah,

797
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 2: does vapes get you high? Or is it just smoking?

798
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 3: It's it's basically just like smoking cigarettes, but with you know, vapor.

799
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 2: Is it addictive?

800
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 3: Yeah?

801
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 2: Very Because I got a couple of people I observed

802
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say who. They pull up in a car, Well,

803
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,959
Speaker 2: the smoke comes out. I see them, and I said,

804
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,399
Speaker 2: I don't like that. They're young kids. That's not good.

805
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I bust their balls about it. I

806
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 2: go stop with the vape in what are you a

807
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 2: big shot?

808
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 4: Now?

809
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 2: What will that do to them eventually?

810
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 3: Well, we don't know. That's kind of the issue is like,

811
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 3: you know, with smoking, we have enough data to go like,

812
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 3: this is what happens if you smoke, whereas with vaping,

813
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 3: were like we can see certain side effects happening. Like

814
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 3: there was a big thing people were saying, it gave

815
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 3: you like popcorn lung so it like like fuck up

816
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 3: your lings a little bit.

817
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 2: But first the food addict in me was just like popcorn. Honestly,

818
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 2: that's the first time I was like, oh I'm hungry. Okay,

819
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 2: so I'm there too.

820
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 3: But I also think like it's I think it's a

821
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 3: lot more nicotine than you people were getting from cigarettes.

822
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 3: So I think people are more addicted and it's leading

823
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 3: to more mental health problems. It's leading to you know, people.

824
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 2: Why do people do it so much?

825
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:41,919
Speaker 3: Do they think it was good?

826
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 4: Man?

827
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 3: It was it feels good.

828
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 2: To bape because it's nicotine.

829
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like, well it also.

830
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 2: Cigarettes make you feel good too, Oh yeah, nice soaking's

831
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 2: cool too.

832
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 3: It's fucking awesome. You kidding me?

833
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 2: Like, I've never smoked. I tried to once and I

834
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 2: coughed and I looked terrible, So I was like, I

835
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 2: forget it.

836
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 3: But it looks so cool, dude. Yeah.

837
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: I still if somebody comes in off the street to

838
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 2: a restaurant or dining or something and they have just

839
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,439
Speaker 2: had a cigarette, I'm like, oh, I love that smell,

840
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 2: and they think you're gonna bust them on it. Like

841
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 2: I remember saying a guy, oh, did you just have

842
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: a cigarette, and he's like yeah. I was like, no, dude,

843
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 2: that smells so fucking good. I don't know there's you.

844
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: Did you smoke for a while?

845
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was a packa day guy for a while.

846
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 3: Love cigarettes.

847
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 5: Was that only post recovery or dirt really, because I

848
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 5: know people like will pick.

849
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 2: Up oh yes, cigarettes. Oh yeah. Rehab. I remember in

850
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 2: codependency rehab and in food rehab, the smoking pit was

851
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 2: the coolest people. So I didn't really pretend I smoke,

852
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 2: but I was like, just can I just be in

853
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:43,879
Speaker 2: here and be cool? Yeah?

854
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, And there was nothing better than getting

855
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 3: out of an AA meeting not sure what the next

856
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 3: days can look like, oh.

857
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 2: My god, it's great. Yeah, I wish I was that cool.

858
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: But if you're listening, don't vape. No, you don't know

859
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: what it leads to.

860
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 3: It's just smoke. Yeah, you don't know what it's gonna be. Yeah,

861
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 3: like you're gonna look way cooler.

862
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, like just smoke.

863
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 3: I have a cigarette, be like the the edgy hipster

864
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 3: guy who's like, yeah, fucking vaping and have a nice SIGI.

865
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 5: Is part of it is that it's so easy to

866
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 5: put in your pocket and bring with you and you

867
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 5: don't have to step outside or do whatever.

868
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 2: Oh you don't have to go outside, No, dude, people

869
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: do people do? People do it in restaurants and airport.

870
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 3: I was dating this one clam.

871
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 2: This was pre marriage, just pre marriage.

872
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 3: Sorry Brittany for the story, but likes. But I remember

873
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 3: we were dating and it was it wasn't for for

874
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 3: a long time, but she was big into vaping. And

875
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 3: there's a sound that it makes when you stuck on it.

876
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 3: It's like a like yeah, it makes like a little crackle.

877
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 2: Yeah.

878
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 3: And I remember like we're in bed and it's getting late,

879
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:57,760
Speaker 3: we're going to sleep, and I just hear the crackle.

880
00:43:58,840 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 3: I remember being like.

881
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 2: Under the cover, under the cover, we're scared to see

882
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: you with your shirt off, ye, because you're misshapen. Bastin

883
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 2: bau mcdale, thank you so much for coming in here.

884
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 2: From what I hear, a comedian an author. Oh, by

885
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 2: the way, Celia does research and gives me notes, and

886
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: it says was a comedian and author. He has never

887
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 2: written a sentence. This guy's so dumb. It's okay, but

888
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 2: I think it's no it's funny. I like mistakes when

889
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,479
Speaker 2: I can make fun of the person in the room.

890
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 2: But Bo, thank you for sharing your your stories. Thank

891
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 2: you for sharing your lessons. And also, if you want

892
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,439
Speaker 2: to see BO do comedy, which I don't know why

893
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 2: you would, look up BA McDowell comedy on TikTok and

894
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 2: on Instagram. Look for Celia on Celia Underscore, Underscore Romano,

895
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: look for me at Lisa Lampinelli or don't see if

896
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 2: I care. Thank you for listening. Thank you again, Bo

897
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: for showing up.

898
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 3: Thank you so muchly so, this was a blast and

899
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 3: a half.

900
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 2: You don't sound like you meant it, but I think

901
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: you did.

902
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: My ass is fully blasted.

903
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 2: Ivy. That's what they say ah yes and listen. If

904
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,320
Speaker 2: you need help, I would just seek sobriety and a shrink,

905
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 2: but instead, if you want the easy way out, just

906
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 2: send us a letter. Shrink this show at gmail dot com.

907
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 2: Please listen to our podcast on the iheartapp or wherever

908
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 2: you get your other loser podcast. We Love you by