Speaker 1: Novel.
Speaker 2: This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, there's a lot of unpack here, Like
Speaker 3: I know. Oh my god, that's like terrifying that it's terrified.
Speaker 3: Oh that has absolutely freaked me out.
Speaker 4: Now me, I'm a savage.
Speaker 2: Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 5: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
Speaker 5: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
Speaker 5: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
Speaker 5: time to change the narrative on how we find love.
Speaker 5: It's time to start looking for love in all the
Speaker 5: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
Speaker 5: picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
Speaker 5: And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
Speaker 5: will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment
Speaker 5: proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
Speaker 2: It's time to find out.
Speaker 5: I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 3: Hey Grace, Hello, So who do we have today? So
Speaker 3: this is a guy called Ewan Who I like that name.
Speaker 3: I like the name Yuan as well. Is you an
Speaker 3: Irish or Scottish? I think it's Scottish. Well, maybe I
Speaker 3: just honestly associated with Umancgre's.
Speaker 5: Name same, it's a fit name. So he was called Ewan.
Speaker 5: He was Australian. I met him on an app called Bristler.
Speaker 5: When I say that word, what do you think?
Speaker 4: Bristley like Bristoley beer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's basically an app yeah for bearded people
Speaker 5: and for people who like bearded people. Okay, well now
Speaker 5: I have to say I don't know about you, but
Speaker 5: whenever I've dated someone with a bed, my skin gets
Speaker 5: so bad, like around my chin, and it just like
Speaker 5: I can't, I honestly can't fuck with beers. I'll be honest,
Speaker 5: and I don't like the way that it makes me
Speaker 5: feel on my face. I'm fine with like you know,
Speaker 5: you know my ex had like you know, a really
Speaker 5: cool mustache or like you know, a bit of a beer,
Speaker 5: but like not, like you know, a dramatic bed. So
Speaker 5: what do you think of it?
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not here for beards. You would never
Speaker 3: find me on Bristler. Like my legs are pretty briskly
Speaker 3: because I'm bad of shaving them, but I like some stubble.
Speaker 3: I'm not into beards, So I have a weird thing
Speaker 3: about like if I see someone who has a beard
Speaker 3: and even a food that I just think of germs.
Speaker 5: And also like, I'm sorry when somebody drinks a pint
Speaker 5: and then they have the beer on the top of
Speaker 5: the mustache, but the mustache is so long, like it's
Speaker 5: so grim to me.
Speaker 3: I just I can't get on board. I'm so sorry
Speaker 3: to anyone has a beard out there. But like there's
Speaker 3: plenty of people who are into it.
Speaker 4: Go on Bristler, No, go on Bristler.
Speaker 3: This episode sponsored by Bristler.
Speaker 2: The app that we found you on is an app
Speaker 2: to give with beds.
Speaker 3: How long have you been on that?
Speaker 6: I think I first jumped on it like in twenty fourteen.
Speaker 4: If you always had a bed since.
Speaker 6: Twenty twelve, okay, yeah, And I just sort of jumped
Speaker 6: on it just to see not like anything. So I've
Speaker 6: never been on tinder Bumble No, never, no, or ever
Speaker 6: like hand on my heart. Bristler is the only one
Speaker 6: that I've ever used it.
Speaker 7: Wow, And have you not ever just been tepended to
Speaker 7: use one of the other app If you're on an
Speaker 7: app that is like literally advertised at people, Yeah, I
Speaker 7: do like beards, then they're not going to be like
Speaker 7: you've got a beard kind of thing.
Speaker 6: So that's that's literally, that's that's the sole reason for it.
Speaker 3: I get that, Yeah, but like I just didn't think
Speaker 3: that people had an issue like that.
Speaker 6: So many they probably don't. That's just all me.
Speaker 5: Can I just say, I'm obsessed with him saying that
Speaker 5: that he has had a beard.
Speaker 2: Since since twenty twelve. Yeah, I'm trying to think, who are.
Speaker 5: The women going on Bristler because it's such a specific
Speaker 5: thing to want to meet someone with a beard, because
Speaker 5: there are loads of beard and people on other dating apps,
Speaker 5: so to want it that much, Like, what do you
Speaker 5: think that's about?
Speaker 3: I have a few friends, particularly Won. Her boyfriends are
Speaker 3: all carbon copies of each other, and they all have
Speaker 3: dark hair and have big beards.
Speaker 4: So she thing for beards. So I think it must
Speaker 4: be like a trade.
Speaker 3: It must be like you know, like if you like
Speaker 3: tall guys, it's the same, like you know, you have
Speaker 3: a specific thing that.
Speaker 4: You go for.
Speaker 3: It's just funny that there's actually an app for Like,
Speaker 3: I wish there was an app for all guys. It'sn't grace,
Speaker 3: you're in prime position to create one, and what would
Speaker 3: it be called?
Speaker 2: It would be called give head standing up.
Speaker 5: So on Bristler was it said that he's in the
Speaker 5: top twenty five best beards and then hundred klometers of me.
Speaker 2: Right, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4: Sorry, the app rates the beards.
Speaker 2: It must mean he's really popular on bristoler i'ven just.
Speaker 3: Looking through his profile here and thirty five Australian Londoner
Speaker 3: tall tall enough talks enough humorous that's debatable. He said
Speaker 3: that himself, not me. I'm not being mean dad jokes. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he does actually seem like someone whose out a few
Speaker 3: dad jokes like sorry, this is a perfect example. Can
Speaker 3: cook woman at rice in fifty eight seconds?
Speaker 4: Come on?
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.
Speaker 5: He reminded me of like a sort of American comedy actor, Like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I don't know, but what do you think of his bit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a solid one. In fairness, it's not a bit.
Speaker 3: I just personally would rather the beard be shorter. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but also it's not too long. It's not like it's
Speaker 3: like along with the one that he can plait. It's nice,
Speaker 3: that's true, but it's still a bit is a probably
Speaker 3: it's a proper one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's full.
Speaker 5: That's why he's in the top twenty five because that's
Speaker 5: a solid bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's got great hairline.
Speaker 2: He's got really good hair as well.
Speaker 4: Solid i'd give him.
Speaker 3: Now, bear in mind, I'm not a beard expertise, but
Speaker 3: i would give him a solid nine out of ten.
Speaker 2: Wowee yay, good feedback. Well, that's why he's in the
Speaker 2: top twenty five.
Speaker 4: So he's on this amazing app.
Speaker 3: You have introduced us to this amazing new app for
Speaker 3: anyone listening who's into beers who did not know it existed, Yeah,
Speaker 3: there's anche there for you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but he actually said that Bristoler wasn't all that amazing.
Speaker 6: I'm not sure what it's like using it from the
Speaker 6: female perspective, and I'll be very interested to hear what.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you could look.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but from a nail who's using it, there's a
Speaker 6: lot of like catfishing in bots going on. Oh mate,
Speaker 6: it's hilarious. Like usually they waited about sort of like
Speaker 6: three or four sentences before they're like, can't pay your rend,
Speaker 6: bah blah blah, and I'm like, ah, here we go.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh because me, it's me and I'm stuck in Australia.
Speaker 5: I've got nothing but Foster's can can you prepend me
Speaker 5: his two thousand pounds?
Speaker 6: Now?
Speaker 3: You know what though, like I'd say, oh god, well,
Speaker 3: it's such a niche app you'd be surprised if that happens.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, but then maybe in a way it's
Speaker 5: kind of easier to do it on a really niche app.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So, like, are you into body hair and guys? Like,
Speaker 3: do you like someone who has like hairy chest wax
Speaker 3: chess like like waxed fully down there?
Speaker 4: Like what what's your preference?
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily have a preference.
Speaker 3: I'm not obsessed with like really really hairy backs like
Speaker 3: that does a bit give me the ech.
Speaker 2: I also just like probably if I was gonna say I.
Speaker 3: Have a preference, I sound like a fucking man when
Speaker 3: I say this, But if I was gonna have a preference,
Speaker 3: it would be like, hell, let's but I sound like
Speaker 3: a man. It's funny, Like I actually think it's really
Speaker 3: it is really important to be honest because like I'm
Speaker 3: the same and if you hadn't said it there, I
Speaker 3: would be.
Speaker 4: Like Jesus, that's really harsh.
Speaker 3: But probably because I fully wax everything, Yeah that I
Speaker 3: just prefer I just feel like quite clean when I
Speaker 3: do that I would prefer that as well, But like
Speaker 3: I do think there comes a stage if you're dating
Speaker 3: someone in a relationship where that's probably isn't as important
Speaker 3: as it was at the start.
Speaker 2: I think that's definitely true.
Speaker 5: And you know, it's like, I'm someone I like prefer
Speaker 5: myself wax, but I'm so disorganized that often I haven't
Speaker 5: had a wax, you know what I mean. Like, I'm
Speaker 5: so busy and I find having a wax like takes
Speaker 5: like an hour out of my day, So I can't
Speaker 5: really chat because sometimes I'll have sex with a hairy,
Speaker 5: fucking vagina.
Speaker 2: But it's like as.
Speaker 3: Saying what I just said out loud, where I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm like over to everything, but I would
Speaker 3: prefer if their hair is Like that's what men say
Speaker 3: all the time. They're like, you know, like I don't
Speaker 3: mind it if they have a bush, but I would
Speaker 3: prefer if.
Speaker 2: They were hairless.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Can I just say when you introduced the
Speaker 3: guy with the beard, because our previous date of all
Speaker 3: have been so like out there, I was like I
Speaker 3: just automatically thought like he was.
Speaker 4: A beard for someone. Uh no, no, he just has
Speaker 4: a beard. Oh, thank god, this is right up my streets. Okay,
Speaker 4: let's go.
Speaker 3: Is anyone episode you that like Richard Osman? Like who
Speaker 3: Richard Osman?
Speaker 6: I don't actually know who that is?
Speaker 3: Really say him.
Speaker 6: I've been what I look like a lot of things
Speaker 6: like who, mainly sort of like four eyed beauty twat
Speaker 6: and all that kind.
Speaker 4: Of so he presents pointless.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 3: I get Susan Boil a lot on TikTok. Whenever I
Speaker 3: posted on TikTok, people are like, that's Susan.
Speaker 6: Boil pre your post massive weight loss because didn't she
Speaker 6: sort of like lose quite a bit recently or semi really?
Speaker 4: Okay, are you a biographer?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Did she come to your gym?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Not anymore because being confused for you, so she did.
Speaker 4: Wow, that's good.
Speaker 6: There you go next time and Boiled. Then you can
Speaker 6: just drag out one of those photos in a way.
Speaker 2: That picture it's not loaded.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's the one on the right. Yeah yeah
Speaker 6: without I mean, she won't be jumping out of any
Speaker 6: cakes anytime soon, but you know, good for it.
Speaker 3: I didn't know who Richard Osmond was either, and so
Speaker 3: I looked it up and I actually almost fell off
Speaker 3: my chair.
Speaker 4: He looks nothing like him, absolutely no, But until.
Speaker 3: I saw this one photo and I went to that
Speaker 3: that because Richindalsman doesn't have a beard usually.
Speaker 2: But then I was like, he's giving me Richard and I'm.
Speaker 3: Sorry, well, I'm sorry, they do look similar in this.
Speaker 5: But then I felt bad because I was like, you
Speaker 5: don't like Riginalsman. And then he was like, what does
Speaker 5: he look like? And then we googled him and it's
Speaker 5: like the first few pictures he looked nothing like him.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, I'm.
Speaker 5: Not gonna argue my point here because I hate it
Speaker 5: when people tell me that I look like.
Speaker 2: Susan Boyle, not the original. I'm not anyway.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to get into slippery slope here of
Speaker 5: comparing richinalds On and Susan boil.
Speaker 2: So Ross.
Speaker 5: He was like big into beer. He was drinking guinness.
Speaker 5: He did keep getting it on his massage. I will
Speaker 5: say I wanted to tell him, but I felt like
Speaker 5: I can't because we've spoken enough about his beard.
Speaker 2: But he was big into beer, right, and one of
Speaker 2: his side.
Speaker 5: Hustles is he does like tours at this brewer in London,
Speaker 5: so he like loved beer. But then we were talking
Speaker 5: about Foster's and he was saying that basically when he
Speaker 5: came here, he was like, everybody thinks Foster's is like Australian,
Speaker 5: but actually it's gone having to do in Australia. And
Speaker 5: then he he's always the whole story, not that I
Speaker 5: really like give a ship because I've never drunk Fosters
Speaker 5: in my life. Can you talk me through the Fosters thing?
Speaker 5: So in Australia, it's like disgusting.
Speaker 6: It doesn't exist in Australia. So when you came here,
Speaker 6: I bought it all with me. That's why I doesn't
Speaker 6: exist in Australia anymore. So. No, so it started off
Speaker 6: it was made in Melbourne originally, but funnily enough, it
Speaker 6: stopped being made in Australia around about the nineties because
Speaker 6: everyone started drinking it here and no one was drinking
Speaker 6: it in Australia, so they just.
Speaker 2: They were making it in Australia.
Speaker 6: No would I say it doesn't exist in Australia.
Speaker 2: It doesn't exist like at all.
Speaker 5: In the slightest bit here on the branding does it
Speaker 5: say it's like says.
Speaker 6: From Australia, because that's where it originally came from, but
Speaker 6: it's made here in the UK entirely. If you went
Speaker 6: to Australia to go and find a Foster's, first and foremost,
Speaker 6: why do you go all the way to Australia.
Speaker 2: Just look, foster You've got it in the courner.
Speaker 6: Probably wasted a flight. It really doesn't exist. You can't
Speaker 6: find it there.
Speaker 2: In England.
Speaker 5: Foster's is marketed as this big Australian beer and everybody
Speaker 5: thinks like it's the way that you know, we know
Speaker 5: Guinness to be Irish was That's how like Foster's is
Speaker 5: being marketed. But we're just sold like a huge lie.
Speaker 3: Whoa, that was like our fun fact of the day.
Speaker 2: I love that shit. Yeah, I love stuff like that.
Speaker 3: So I just like when you talked about having like
Speaker 3: phoney beer on his beard.
Speaker 2: I really just it's a horrid moment.
Speaker 3: Look he's doing fine, he's on that app he is like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, he's probably lows people are into beards.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I just find that and look I find
Speaker 3: it with anually, even if some of his food and
Speaker 3: their hair on their face, I'm like, get that off. No.
Speaker 5: Also, you know when someone has beer on their like
Speaker 5: bed or mustache, so they do this thing. Obviously listeners
Speaker 5: can't see us, but it's the way they like lick
Speaker 5: it off their bed.
Speaker 2: But they go like that and it's so proper. Gives
Speaker 2: me the egg.
Speaker 5: So anyway, but he gave us some wisdom on the fosters.
Speaker 5: Then he told me this mad story.
Speaker 2: Listen to this.
Speaker 6: So this is when I was with my girlfriends. So
Speaker 6: we did a year of long distance. Right, you get
Speaker 6: involved with like the sending of content and everything like
Speaker 6: that because you can't beat them people. At the same time,
Speaker 6: you want to be connected with some kind of sexual matter. Obviously, Yeah,
Speaker 6: obviously there was a lot of back and forth in
Speaker 6: that year of long distance, as you would expect, and
Speaker 6: then when I came to London, it was all fine,
Speaker 6: blah blah blah blah blah. About two years after I
Speaker 6: actually came down, I got a weird Skype call from
Speaker 6: the contact I didn't know. I opened it and all
Speaker 6: of a sudden I was bombarded with all of the
Speaker 6: stuff from years and years ago.
Speaker 2: Right, so you sent your girlfriend.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I'm watching this screen filler and I'm just like,
Speaker 6: the fuck is this? And then they started to send
Speaker 6: me screenshots of my Facebook contexts and then they were like,
Speaker 6: you need to send us.
Speaker 2: How did they getherre?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 6: To this day, I still don't know. And they were like,
Speaker 6: you need to send us one thousand pounds right now,
Speaker 6: or we're going to send this to everyone. And I've said, well,
Speaker 6: first and foremost, guys, you're out of luck because I
Speaker 6: don't have one thousand pounds, So lower your offer and
Speaker 6: I'll see what I can do. So they kept saying, okay, well,
Speaker 6: have you got five hundred pounds. I'm like nope. But
Speaker 6: I'm like, guys, you really should have picked your target
Speaker 6: because I've got fuck all to my name. So I
Speaker 6: actually kind of said, look, Matte, you can do this.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I had a reputation in my hometown. I used to
Speaker 6: be known as the naked guy because I have a
Speaker 6: get drunken nightclubs and just run through the placecas with
Speaker 6: my clothes off when I used to work there.
Speaker 2: But then they didn't do anything, no.
Speaker 6: Because I all the reading that I sort of did
Speaker 6: was like, look, they're just hoping that you will pay them,
Speaker 6: because then they know they've got you because they know
Speaker 6: you're willing to pay, and they'll say if you pay
Speaker 6: us will delete it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then they'll ask you again exact yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So I was.
Speaker 6: I was slowly shutting down all my social media's right,
Speaker 6: and then the last thing I said to them and
Speaker 6: they're just like, okay, well you got five minutes. And
Speaker 6: I said, you know what, guys, I said, do your
Speaker 6: fucking the worst, like you don't scare me, and I'll
Speaker 6: blocked them and then just hid my social media is.
Speaker 4: For three months.
Speaker 2: What a little legend. Oh my god, there's a.
Speaker 3: Lot of unpack here, Like I know, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: that's like terrifying.
Speaker 5: It's terrifying because how did they access that? It's terrifying.
Speaker 3: No, that has absolutely freaked me out now, No, I know,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 5: Because honestly it is really scary and I feel like
Speaker 5: I've been quite blase in my life.
Speaker 1: Really with.
Speaker 3: See but like you know, like it's also it's obviously
Speaker 3: legal for people to share images with their content all
Speaker 3: that kind of stuff.
Speaker 4: What if someone hacks into you and gets it all?
Speaker 5: That's was I got robed last year, right, like walking
Speaker 5: along the street, my phone got taken out of my
Speaker 5: hand while it was unlocked. And my phone doesn't lock
Speaker 5: because when I do gigs, I always have to have
Speaker 5: my phone over to the tech for them to play
Speaker 5: music off of it, so I usually just have it
Speaker 5: so that it doesn't lock, so they don't need to
Speaker 5: know the password for my phone, so my phone doesn't
Speaker 5: lock like after five seconds or whatever. Anyway, this teenage
Speaker 5: boy like runs off with my phone and I for
Speaker 5: two hours, like I couldn't get home. I was like
Speaker 5: on another side of London trying to get back home,
Speaker 5: and I didn't have a card or anything. And the
Speaker 5: whole time I was just thinking, like what if this
Speaker 5: teenage boy is like accessing all of my image? Now
Speaker 5: I'm sure he didn't because he probably just like he
Speaker 5: turned the location off straight away and turned the phone
Speaker 5: off straight away. But it's like so scary, but at
Speaker 5: the same time, like if somebody like leaks my nudes,
Speaker 5: it would be quite on brand for me, and then
Speaker 5: I'd make it a huge political like moment, like you know, men.
Speaker 3: Abusing women in for a penny, in for but you're
Speaker 3: like exactly uses my advantage.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, this is the most interesting date from the story.
Speaker 3: Alone, Like, no, that is crazy that that had happened
Speaker 3: to him.
Speaker 5: Honestly, I know that that's so crazy because it's like
Speaker 5: someone accessed his files. But the other thing that I
Speaker 5: keep hearing about this happening on dating apps, which is
Speaker 5: obviously very different to this, but still fucked. And this
Speaker 5: happened to my friend, right, So he spoke to the
Speaker 5: scirll in the summer. They'd been like dirty talking. He
Speaker 5: didn't even even send pictures. He just was like dirty
Speaker 5: talking with the scull. Then a few months later he
Speaker 5: got a number, like random number text him like Hey,
Speaker 5: I have all of these screenshots of you sexting like somebody,
Speaker 5: and I found your boss and I found your parents
Speaker 5: email and I'm going to send all of the screenshots them.
Speaker 2: And my friend was.
Speaker 5: Like whoa, like good luck, Like it's literally me just
Speaker 5: like talking about like myself Ianking, like do your worst
Speaker 5: kind of thing.
Speaker 2: But they were.
Speaker 5: Blackmailing him, and it happens quite a lot. And I
Speaker 5: reckon because a lot of people have affairs on these
Speaker 5: apps that then they'll they'll get a few people who
Speaker 5: will be so scared that will give them like ten
Speaker 5: thousand pounds.
Speaker 3: Well, I think there's a big lesson there. Just be careful.
Speaker 4: It is be.
Speaker 2: Careful, be really cautious.
Speaker 7: I think.
Speaker 5: No, I'm I'm yeah, I'm gonna become much more careful online, grace.
Speaker 3: Every time I do recording with you, every time I
Speaker 3: hear about day, I go in and call my boyfriend,
Speaker 3: I'm like, thank God, God Jesus.
Speaker 2: It's so peek out in the trenches.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is this is bad stuff. But I loved
Speaker 4: his response. I love that he was like doing it west, mate.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was like, you really picked the wrong target here, mate,
Speaker 5: But a grace.
Speaker 3: I also knowing you, like probably the worst part of
Speaker 3: that story for you is that you were like, he
Speaker 3: doesn't have thousand dollars, he doesn't have five hundred pounds.
Speaker 3: You were probably like, oh, that's the worst part of
Speaker 3: the story for you.
Speaker 2: Next time. On twenty eight dates Later, you know me.
Speaker 1: So well, and you think the one thing that I
Speaker 1: would want if I could wake up tomorrow is time
Speaker 1: travel or what? Because I want to be gay in
Speaker 1: the past. I want to be this gay in the past. No,
Speaker 1: thank you, you around me.
Speaker 7: I'm a savage, he can hand.
Speaker 1: It to.
Speaker 3: Me.
Speaker 5: Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 5: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
Speaker 5: is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Speaker 5: Pursu and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggrey Way. The
Speaker 5: executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are Mithillly Raw
Speaker 5: and Max O'Brien. Production management from Scherie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
Speaker 5: Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development
Speaker 3: Novel