Speaker 1: Hello friends, I'm Robert Evans, and this is once again
Speaker 1: Behind the Bastards the Shore, we tell you everything you
Speaker 1: don't know about the very worst people in all of history.
Speaker 1: And with me this week are my good friends, my
Speaker 1: former and quasi peeple Cody Johnson, Collaborators, collaborators, secret anti
Speaker 1: FA super soldier allies. Whatever terms are secret collaborator, frequent
Speaker 1: secret collaborators. Uh. And this week we are talking about
Speaker 1: the midterms. Exciting now. Rather than doing a two part
Speaker 1: or about one person, we have two distinct subjects for
Speaker 1: both episodes this week, and this episode is the working
Speaker 1: title is every Shitty Thing Ted Cruiz has done in
Speaker 1: his Shitty Ship Life. The titles a lie because I
Speaker 1: didn't have time everything. There's just so much garbage that
Speaker 1: Ted Cruiz is done. But we are going to go
Speaker 1: back a lot further than I think most people know
Speaker 1: about Mr Tedrick. I'm excited about this will be fascinating.
Speaker 1: I want to start by asking what did you guys
Speaker 1: first learn about Ted Cruise? Do you would you call
Speaker 1: your first Ted Cruise memory? God, I couldn't say my
Speaker 1: first memory of him, but I know it was around
Speaker 1: tea party times. Yeah, that would make sense. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say that's around the same time. For me, it's
Speaker 1: all a blur. Well, I want the listeners at home
Speaker 1: to know that while we're doing this, there's a tide
Speaker 1: pod that's been in the office the whole year now
Speaker 1: that I've been doing this show, and I've just been
Speaker 1: squeezing it and it's gradually degrading and you can see
Speaker 1: that it's going to burst at some point. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pass this around. We can all take turns squeezing
Speaker 1: and maybe it'll explode in the middle of this session.
Speaker 1: It's really gross right now, Like you can see how gross.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a tide pod, and I was right.
Speaker 1: It will be fun for the listeners at home to
Speaker 1: hear us squeeze the tide pod for this is going
Speaker 1: to go, So yeah, it doesn't have much longer left
Speaker 1: in all right, So, Ted Cruz, the focus of this
Speaker 1: week is the bastards of the two eighteen midterm elections,
Speaker 1: and I want to make it clear to our listeners
Speaker 1: who maybe more politically independent, that we're not just declaring
Speaker 1: every Republican who's running right now with bastard, or at
Speaker 1: least I'm not the people that we're talking about this
Speaker 1: week are folks that I think everyone in America can
Speaker 1: get together behind and agreer garbage monsters. And on that note,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Ted Cruz Uni. Yeah. Yeah, Now the
Speaker 1: table of Hell Ted Cruz came to be started decades
Speaker 1: before his birth in nineteen thirty nine. It started in Cleveland,
Speaker 1: as any terrible things start, Yeah, in the late thirties,
Speaker 1: back before the Cuyahoga River caught on fire the first
Speaker 1: time of like a dozen times. I'm gonna start with
Speaker 1: a businessman named Fred G. Clark. He was an executive
Speaker 1: and anti prohibition crusader, so that's nice. He was a libertarian,
Speaker 1: very early libertarian, and a contemporary of the Coke family
Speaker 1: patriarch Fred Coke. Because for some reason, Freds are all
Speaker 1: dedicated to destroying the social safety net. There's gonna be
Speaker 1: a lot of friends this episode. Yeah, yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of friends in an episode about a Ted. I gotta say,
Speaker 1: that's my least favorite name, is it? Fred? There's something
Speaker 1: you know, hard core libertarian about the name from Yeah,
Speaker 1: yes there is, and that's not just a random joke.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Clark formed an organization called the American Economic Foundation.
Speaker 1: Its goal was to push and advocate for free market,
Speaker 1: limited government ideals. He moved the Foundation to New York
Speaker 1: City in the nineteen forties and he set up a
Speaker 1: program to educate young Americans about the wonders of capitalism.
Speaker 1: Clark believe the free market worked because it was a
Speaker 1: self correcting system controlled by the consumer. Since this self
Speaker 1: correcting system was obviously perfect, there was no need for
Speaker 1: government intrusion into the economy. Of course. Yeah, if you
Speaker 1: have a system that's for like you say whatever you want,
Speaker 1: whatever you want in order to make money, sort of
Speaker 1: take advantage of consumers. Yeah, the consumers have the power exactly.
Speaker 1: Think about like I s p s. That's why everyone's
Speaker 1: Internet is fantastic and nobody has complaints about their sp
Speaker 1: because we the consumers, have the power. Perfect example, perfect example,
Speaker 1: about perfect example. That's why the health care industry is
Speaker 1: famously without flawed because the consumers are in control. It's
Speaker 1: definitely not broken from their perspective, so why would they
Speaker 1: try to fix it? And free is right there. I
Speaker 1: love free stuff. I love Boston market, So a free
Speaker 1: Boston market that's what I think of when I think
Speaker 1: a free market. That's just some good associations right there,
Speaker 1: they're brilliant. I'm gonna get me a good rotisserie chicken
Speaker 1: that's been sitting on a warming plate for four days
Speaker 1: for free. Delightful. Okay. So the Foundation published a pamphlet
Speaker 1: called How We Live and sold something like three million
Speaker 1: copies of it during the nineteen forties and fifties. It
Speaker 1: was an economics primer that basically outlined Fred's ideas about
Speaker 1: how the economy out of work. In nineteen sixty four,
Speaker 1: the American Economic Foundation had its biggest coup yet when
Speaker 1: it hosted that year's World's Fair in New York City.
Speaker 1: I found some New York Time coverage of the event.
Speaker 1: The title of the article is free Enterprises hailed it, Fair,
Speaker 1: Hall dedicated, and torch of truth lighted at ceremony. Now,
Speaker 1: most of this article reads like the flavor text you'd
Speaker 1: find in a Fallout game. It's it's it's pretty fun.
Speaker 1: I love reading old New York Times stories from the
Speaker 1: nineteen sixties. Here's a quote. An attack against Russian communist
Speaker 1: imperialist aggression and against big government in this country was
Speaker 1: delivered by John Davis Lodge, former Governor of Connecticut and
Speaker 1: former ambassador to Spain. For the Russians, peaceful coexistence is
Speaker 1: a tactic, not an objective for us. Plausible appearances to
Speaker 1: the contrary, notwithstanding, it is surrender. On the installment plan,
Speaker 1: maryor Wagner praised the pavilion as a most valuable endeavor
Speaker 1: to explain in practical terms to the millions of visitors
Speaker 1: to the World's Fair the daily economic benefits inherit in
Speaker 1: our free enterprise system. Yeah, any talk of piece is
Speaker 1: just communism. We don't knook each other. The Russians win,
Speaker 1: It is just it is just they don't exaggerate it
Speaker 1: all in those games. No, they take it right from history.
Speaker 1: Take it right from history now. A representative during the
Speaker 1: this World's Fair from the American steel Workers Union was
Speaker 1: quoted by The New York Times as noting ruefully that
Speaker 1: the exhibit completely left out labor. Weird. Weird that a
Speaker 1: major pro capitalist foundation would ignore labor, and the must
Speaker 1: have been an oversight. Must have been an oversight. It
Speaker 1: actually wasn't, according to the American Economic Foundation. One of
Speaker 1: their representatives assured the New York Times that quote labor
Speaker 1: was represented in the hall's major exhibit. Mr Both comes
Speaker 1: to town. This is a show in which Mr Both
Speaker 1: has the dual role of producer and consumer and the
Speaker 1: audience finds itself involved in the economy of a small town.
Speaker 1: That sounds height of Oh that is branding right there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Audience participation shows, you can like it's you
Speaker 1: were labor, were labor, the CEOs are labor, we're all
Speaker 1: we're all labor. And you know what came about because
Speaker 1: some guy was sitting back and like, well, if it's
Speaker 1: an audience participation show, we don't get to pay for
Speaker 1: as many actors, free labor being the best time of
Speaker 1: them and then the show, don't you guys feel lucky? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I really did look for a video of Mr Both
Speaker 1: comes to town because I still have no idea what
Speaker 1: it could actually have been saying. I'm sure it was
Speaker 1: a tour de force, but I found no evidence of it.
Speaker 1: I do want to go off topic for just a
Speaker 1: second because the New York Times article this all happened
Speaker 1: during like free market Day at the World's Fair, but
Speaker 1: that wasn't the only day that it was that day
Speaker 1: at the World's Fair. So I want to read the
Speaker 1: end of this New York Times article. It just gives
Speaker 1: some weird insight and how strange America was in the
Speaker 1: day before the Internet. Yesterday was also law Day and
Speaker 1: the Festival of Gas served Unlikely served as unlikely chambers
Speaker 1: for about a hundred judges of the city in judicial robes.
Speaker 1: The day too was Betty Crocker Day, Loyalty Day, Northeastern
Speaker 1: Poultry Producers Council Day, Personal Affairs Day, and King's County Day.
Speaker 1: And the list is growing. Today at the Fair will
Speaker 1: be Garden City, Boston, Massachusetts, Tours Day, Manhattanville, College of
Speaker 1: the Sacred Heart, Scandinavian New York State Day, Temple or
Speaker 1: Elohim Day, willing Born Township Day, and Crazy Hat Day.
Speaker 1: Crazy one is just fun fun for the Wait, how
Speaker 1: many days was Okay? I mean, let's count here. So
Speaker 1: this was yesterday was law Day at the Festival of
Speaker 1: Gas Gas. I need to know more, no more about
Speaker 1: Also I love like, I mean, what kind of gas
Speaker 1: Loyalty Day, Loyalty Day, but also like Funny Hat Day,
Speaker 1: Funny Day. Well now that was the next day. So
Speaker 1: the day that this article is about was Free Market Day,
Speaker 1: Law Day in the Festival of Gas, Betty Crocker Day,
Speaker 1: Loyalty Day, Northeast, it was like seven or eight days one. Well,
Speaker 1: you know what, I think that's rude because you shouldn't
Speaker 1: have to share your special day with several others. But
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sorry, Katy. This is capitalism. And the
Speaker 1: more days you jam into a single day, you're getting
Speaker 1: four weeks for the price of two days. Just pledge
Speaker 1: your loyalty. And you were a silly hat. Yeah, crazy hat,
Speaker 1: crazy yeah, different days. Yeah. Fred Clark died in nineteen
Speaker 1: seventy three in the American Economics Foundation went rapidly downhill
Speaker 1: from there. They moved back to Cleveland in the early
Speaker 1: in nineteen eighties, which was not an inspiring time to
Speaker 1: move back to Cleveland. Everyone was doing the opposite actually
Speaker 1: in the eighties, if you recall sorry Cleveland, but you
Speaker 1: know from Ohio like places. But yeah, not even want
Speaker 1: to go to bed for Cleveland. I'd say Cleveland's my
Speaker 1: least favorite city name. M name of a city, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it just is like, well, because I think that it
Speaker 1: must be a city founded by a guy named Cleve.
Speaker 1: And then we can imagine a guy named Cleve not
Speaker 1: being great Land of Cleve. Yeah, no, no, thank you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like John clevesond or something just Cleve. It doesn't about
Speaker 1: of Cleve is his land. We're gonna build a city
Speaker 1: so gross the river catches on fire. So yeah. The
Speaker 1: American Economic Foundation moved back to Cleveland the eighties, and
Speaker 1: instead of hosting World's Fairs, they launched a massive mailing
Speaker 1: list across the country, essentially seating the United States with
Speaker 1: far right free market values. Most of what they did
Speaker 1: until their dissolution was sent out pamphlets and mailers. One
Speaker 1: such pamphlet was The Tin Pillars of Economic Wisdom, a
Speaker 1: sort of tin Commandments for libertarian free market economics. As
Speaker 1: Fred Clark saw it. Now, the Tin Pillars had first
Speaker 1: been revealed at that nineteen sixty four World's Fair. I
Speaker 1: love the idea of like the big reveal, the big reveal,
Speaker 1: everyone's a waiting, No one knew what they were. We
Speaker 1: were all just getting money, and I know where it
Speaker 1: came from. Full the curtain ground. Here the Pillars strongly
Speaker 1: hint that the best possible world is one where workers
Speaker 1: listen to their bosses and don't ask for raises, because
Speaker 1: asking for raises will decrease the amount of money workers
Speaker 1: take home. Of course, that's just basic economics. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: math right there. This list of Robert Baron capitalist wisdom
Speaker 1: wound up outlasting the American Economic Foundation and spreading throughout
Speaker 1: the libertarian right. It was picked up as an educational
Speaker 1: supplement by the Free Enterprise Education Institute. Now the Free
Speaker 1: Enterprise Education Institute was found in nineteen seventy six, three
Speaker 1: years after Clark died, by a fellow named Roland's story.
Speaker 1: He'd been a vaudeville performer, Yeah I got that name. Uh,
Speaker 1: and an oil and gas industry businessman in Houston, which
Speaker 1: is a neat mixtry. He's a mix of the two
Speaker 1: things you assume would be most racist. In nineteen seventy
Speaker 1: anyone's still doing vaudeville and the oil and gas industry
Speaker 1: in Texas. He lived in Houston, and he decided that
Speaker 1: his calling was to indoctrinate young Texans into the virtues
Speaker 1: of libertarian economic theory. Indoctrinate specifically, Oh yeah, very much. So.
Speaker 1: He ran like after school specials and programs and yeah,
Speaker 1: they know what they have to do, they know what
Speaker 1: they have to do. Get them young. One of stories
Speaker 1: students called him the Santa Clause of liberty. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys enjoyed that the book The Wilderness, which is now
Speaker 1: shamefully outdated. It was published in when the election started up.
Speaker 1: It was about how that giant sixteen Canada Republican primary
Speaker 1: slate came about. And the book was definitely written with
Speaker 1: the angle that, like, the Republicans are going to lose
Speaker 1: this election, let's try to figure out how things got
Speaker 1: so fucked up. But that didn't happen anyway, they said
Speaker 1: on that book a little bit longer, but it does
Speaker 1: give some good background into Mr. Story. Quote. Story educated
Speaker 1: his students about the brightest minds of free market economics.
Speaker 1: They poured over Fredrick Hayek and Milton Friedman and marveled
Speaker 1: at Frederick boss Jatt's denunciations of socialism is legal plunder.
Speaker 1: A veteran of vaudeville, Story like to recreate constitutional conventions
Speaker 1: and assigned students to play delegates and mock debates. That's fun. Also,
Speaker 1: I got a note Fredrick Hyak Frederick boss jat both
Speaker 1: Fred's they are it's the fucking friends. I'm more on
Speaker 1: board with the fred Frederick. And also I apologize if
Speaker 1: there are any friends listening, I don't think there are
Speaker 1: no If there are Fred's listening. You have to pay
Speaker 1: reparations for the damage that other friends have done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, We're sorry. It's your responsibility. The rules. Fred
Speaker 1: Claus movie, Fred Claus speaking, and Vince Vaughan is a libertarian. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there all checking out? All. Yeah, if you are a Fred.
Speaker 1: The only thing that can stop a bad Fred with
Speaker 1: dangerous far right ideology is a good Fred with name
Speaker 1: a good friend with dangerous ideology. I can't I can't
Speaker 1: think of a good friend with any kind of ideology.
Speaker 1: Fred's and Cleveland all taking a hit today? What about
Speaker 1: the friend staff as you quit? The cute little boy
Speaker 1: in frid Fred Savage. Oh you haven't heard about Fred Savage? Man. No,
Speaker 1: there's a six part behind the Bastards about Fred seton
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of people lost hands anyway. Uh.
Speaker 1: Continuing on Roland's stories, most gifted student was a thirteen
Speaker 1: year old boy named Ted Cruise. There we go. Rafael
Speaker 1: Edward Cruz born on December twenty, nineteen seventy was the
Speaker 1: son of Rafael Cruz, a Cuban American who fought against
Speaker 1: the Batista regime and fled his home country after Castro
Speaker 1: took power. His mother Eleanor Wilson was just some lady
Speaker 1: from Delaware. Ted Cruz was actually born in Canada. His
Speaker 1: mom and dad owned a seismic data processing firm in
Speaker 1: Calgary before his parents split up and his dad moved
Speaker 1: the kids to Texas in nineteen seventy four, and now
Speaker 1: not long after that, his mom came back and the
Speaker 1: family stayed together until I think like nineteen seven when
Speaker 1: they divorced. I don't know if these marital difficulties bled
Speaker 1: into the childhood of the young Ted Cruise. I do
Speaker 1: know that he was a brilliant student and a habitual
Speaker 1: overachiever in school. These aspects of his personality only increased
Speaker 1: when Roland story began to groom him. Not liking where
Speaker 1: this is go on marriages that you get divorced, get
Speaker 1: back together, and then get divorced again. That's something else
Speaker 1: that has to affect someone. I mean, you gotta assume, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: I just don't like knowing that Ted Cruz isn't what
Speaker 1: he turned into and just being like, oh, like a
Speaker 1: wide eyed kid is like moved to Texas and he's
Speaker 1: an overachiever, Good luck buddy, Oh no, oh no, And
Speaker 1: Roland is involved stories after school studies sessions had a
Speaker 1: huge influence on Ted's already conservative upbringing because his dad, Rafael,
Speaker 1: who will talk about later, pretty far right, but Rafael,
Speaker 1: his father did later recall quote. Instead of reading comic books,
Speaker 1: Ted was reading Adam Smith, he was reading Milton Friedman,
Speaker 1: he was reading von Mices, he was reading Frederick bass
Speaker 1: yat tolerable. Intolerable certainly doesn't sound like a kid anybody
Speaker 1: wanted to sit with it lunch. It's probably worth noting
Speaker 1: since we did a two partner in the Koke Brothers
Speaker 1: that Milton Friedman and Ludwig von miss both taught at
Speaker 1: Robert Lefeb's Freedom School. If you remember from that Cooke
Speaker 1: Brothers two partner at the Freedom School was both funded
Speaker 1: by in a major influence on Charles Coke, among other things,
Speaker 1: that them school believe that slavery should be legal as
Speaker 1: long as it's just free people selling themselves into slavery.
Speaker 1: Those words work well together, Like that makes sense. What
Speaker 1: a hill to pic to die on? Unbelievable people in slavery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just looking out at the world and being like,
Speaker 1: you know what the fucking problem is, nobody can selve
Speaker 1: themselves into slavery. I also love like there are so
Speaker 1: many libertarians out there who like when you bring that up, like, well,
Speaker 1: that's really like, that's not what we think, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you literally do, like it's it's the basis is a
Speaker 1: lot of the thought that underlies this ideology. My body,
Speaker 1: my choice, I guess I mean, but no, because you
Speaker 1: can't consent to being eaten by someone my slavery. To
Speaker 1: say that I did not mean it my body. Ludwig
Speaker 1: von Miss, in addition to being a pillar of libertarian
Speaker 1: economic theory and a major influence on young Ted Cruz,
Speaker 1: was a member of the board of advisors for the
Speaker 1: Miss Institutes Rampart journal. His name is attached to several
Speaker 1: issues of that journal that include articles denying the Holocaust.
Speaker 1: It just a fun little for the Nazi connection. There's well,
Speaker 1: they support the Nazis. There's always a Nazi connection. There's
Speaker 1: always a Nazi connection. And it is weird how many
Speaker 1: libertarian journals and writers in the seventies and eighties, in particular,
Speaker 1: back before the Internet, we're writing a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: about how the Holocaust didn't add up to them. It
Speaker 1: seems like a lot of classical liberals really, really supporting
Speaker 1: Hitler in the early days is weird. I don't know,
Speaker 1: there's no I don't even have a bit about the
Speaker 1: Holocaust denial here. It's it's just the thing that people.
Speaker 1: It's just the thing that people choose to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like some people might choose to be slaves and something
Speaker 1: might choose to be slaved. It's their choice. Choice is
Speaker 1: what makes America great now. Shortly after he began working
Speaker 1: with story Ted, Cruz was picked to be a member
Speaker 1: of the Constitutional Corroborators. Uh, dorks and you say that
Speaker 1: Cody as a dork complete? I know, like we've all
Speaker 1: made substantial chunks of our living making fun of Star Wars.
Speaker 1: I've been on podcasts where I only played dungeons and dragons.
Speaker 1: But these fucking um now, just judging by that name,
Speaker 1: what do y'all think that Constitutional Corroborators might have been
Speaker 1: any any guesses? Corroborating the Constitution? Cool kids from sort
Speaker 1: of judicial Watch, Yes, that's what it seems like. That
Speaker 1: would actually be cooler. Um. There were groups of five students.
Speaker 1: Each group of corroborators was five students who attended Stories
Speaker 1: after school programs and trained to be able to write
Speaker 1: out the entire Constitution from memory. They also read out
Speaker 1: a definition of socialism when they presented this, which was
Speaker 1: portrayed as being in direct opposition to the constitutions. Now,
Speaker 1: the corroborators toured local chambers of commerce and rotary clubs,
Speaker 1: various groups and association stuff like that around North and
Speaker 1: central Texas. They toured and let them watch to them
Speaker 1: right constituent. They would show up in front of groups
Speaker 1: of generally older conservative people and these five kids would
Speaker 1: get a bunch of white boards out and they would
Speaker 1: write out the Constitution from memory using anemonic device that
Speaker 1: they'd memorize children. Yeah, early teens. That's a good show though. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess if you don't have Netflix, if
Speaker 1: good music hasn't been invented yet, which it hadn't been
Speaker 1: in the eighties. Yeah, in my day, we just watched
Speaker 1: kids write words on white boards. That was the only
Speaker 1: Netflix we needed. I love groups like this, like Charlie
Speaker 1: Kirk kind of person, or like um, like even Paul
Speaker 1: Joseph Watson's like, oh, your fans are all over sixty
Speaker 1: conservatives and they just love that there's finally a young
Speaker 1: person saying what they're thinking. They just want to see
Speaker 1: a young person who agrees with them. That's it's it's perfect,
Speaker 1: It's it's amazing. Now, Taylor's Taylor Taylor at least as
Speaker 1: old as the nineteen age story. He was one of
Speaker 1: the first people doing this, uh in a really organized way. So.
Speaker 1: One of Ted's fellow constitutional corroborators was Laura Callaway. She
Speaker 1: joined the group in her senior year at Deer Park
Speaker 1: High School. She'd been invited there by her friend Jeff
Speaker 1: who she had a crush on, who was on the
Speaker 1: debate team. Uh. This study group is how Stories Free
Speaker 1: Enterprise Education Center hooked most of its young members. The
Speaker 1: even offered scholarships to sweeten the deal. Here's what Laura
Speaker 1: recalled later in a medium post. The nonprofit programs director,
Speaker 1: a jocular round man named Roland Story sends us boxes
Speaker 1: of books, textbooks wrapped in shiny plastic, textbooks unavailable at school,
Speaker 1: but textbooks that tell the real story behind our country's
Speaker 1: founding fathers. There are lots of quotes by Thomas Jefferson.
Speaker 1: Sounds situation, sounds like a Praiger youth situation before the Internet. Now,
Speaker 1: she enjoyed the study program and most of the people
Speaker 1: in it with one notable exception, Ted Cruz. I've heard
Speaker 1: about him from my friend, She writes it in the
Speaker 1: present tense. I've heard about him from well, no, I've
Speaker 1: heard about this before she got into She says, I've
Speaker 1: heard about him from my friends, that he is a
Speaker 1: master debater and long term member of the organization. When
Speaker 1: we are introduced, it is the first time I feel
Speaker 1: as if someone has sized me up, found me wanting,
Speaker 1: and moved on all before I finished Hello. It is
Speaker 1: not a good feeling. I don't think I'm going to
Speaker 1: like Ted. Laura was about thirty years ahead of the
Speaker 1: rest of So we're going to get into some more
Speaker 1: about the constitutional corroborators and the rest of the evolution
Speaker 1: of ted Rick Cruz, which is not his name. Fuckett
Speaker 1: might as well be a friend? Might you might as
Speaker 1: well be a friend? Friend and Ted basically basically the
Speaker 1: same uh to Fred talk. But first we have to
Speaker 1: corroborate not the constitution but products that people can buy. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was kind of products does support you show in
Speaker 1: a in a way in a way absolutely, and even
Speaker 1: better than that, as the consumer, you will have the
Speaker 1: power in this new relationship you're entering into I love
Speaker 1: having power. Let's all become powerful and listen to these ads.
Speaker 1: Can't wait, we're back. We're talking about Ted Cruz and
Speaker 1: his youth as a constitutional corroborator. You Ted Cruz was
Speaker 1: born forty three. Yeah, has not changed much since. Now
Speaker 1: we're talking about Laura who who just announced that she
Speaker 1: did not like Ted Cruising immediately the instant she talked
Speaker 1: to him. At one point, Laura and her fellow corroborators
Speaker 1: were invited to in American Ideas seminar at the State
Speaker 1: Conference Center This is in Houston. They attended classes and
Speaker 1: lectures about the free market and limited government. One of
Speaker 1: their most important pieces of curriculum was the Tin Pillars
Speaker 1: of Economic Wisdom. Yeah, it all ties together well. Fred Clarke,
Speaker 1: who wrote those pillars was long dead by this point,
Speaker 1: and it's now so forgotten that I barely found anything
Speaker 1: about him online. His ideas clearly spread to a new
Speaker 1: generation of young conservative. The Tin Pillars had a profound
Speaker 1: impact on young Ted Cruz. His favorite pillar was the
Speaker 1: second government has never are a source of goods. Everything
Speaker 1: produced is produced by the people, and everything that government
Speaker 1: gives to the people it must first take from the people.
Speaker 1: What well, Like you know how when the government builds roads,
Speaker 1: they take roads from you, and you don't. You have
Speaker 1: less roads, but the government has more. Or like when
Speaker 1: the government provides an ambulance after you're in a car wreck,
Speaker 1: you have less ambulances. You have an ambulance, but then
Speaker 1: you get into the government. That's how it works. I'm
Speaker 1: familiar with this, Siller. Yeah, because just like from living
Speaker 1: life in society and looking around, I could have guessed pill.
Speaker 1: I used to have a United States Marine Corps, but
Speaker 1: now that I pay taxes, it's completely out of my
Speaker 1: control and now they're I have to give it. That
Speaker 1: sort of sort of yeah, it's not the same. Laura
Speaker 1: described the American idea seminar as church camp for libertarians,
Speaker 1: which is certainly how it sounds, quote as if it's
Speaker 1: normal conversation we discuss ideas over dinner, Like the only
Speaker 1: thing government should do is provide for the common defense,
Speaker 1: fire stations, privatize medical care even medicare, definitely privatize education.
Speaker 1: All school should be private. Education is a privilege, not
Speaker 1: a constitutional right. What the fucking people, how do you
Speaker 1: even like start to talk about those kinds of topics?
Speaker 1: Those people I just want to live in a nation
Speaker 1: where poor children are free to be illiterate and sell
Speaker 1: themselves into slavery, signing their name, writing their marks on
Speaker 1: contracts they can't read. That's seems like freedom to me.
Speaker 1: Maybe that doesn't seem like freedom to everyone. That's freedom
Speaker 1: I want. I want to have to I think education
Speaker 1: should be profitable. So all the decisions that one would
Speaker 1: make in giving somebody the education is based off of
Speaker 1: how much money you'll make, which I think would give
Speaker 1: that person a good education, because it's motivated by doing
Speaker 1: whatever in order to make money. Absolutely, and that's always
Speaker 1: been where our greatest advances have come, when the only
Speaker 1: thing on the line was was profit. Absolutely, That's how
Speaker 1: we cured polio. That's why Jonah Sulk, you know, famously
Speaker 1: became a billionaire from the polio vaccine. That's why all
Speaker 1: of those NASA scientists who put a man on the
Speaker 1: moon got super rich. Yeah, that's absolutely true. Stereotype of
Speaker 1: the mansion owning NASA scientists there was. It was rich
Speaker 1: fat cat scientists sitting on their ivory Apollo launch of scientists. Now,
Speaker 1: Laura felt some disconnecting these conversations because she'd gone to
Speaker 1: a public school, and she was at a public school,
Speaker 1: and she thought she got a pretty good education. But
Speaker 1: despite some lingering doubts, she did find the whole experience
Speaker 1: almost intoxicating. The most exciting part for me is feeling important,
Speaker 1: being treated as a thinking adult, and getting to spend
Speaker 1: the weekend at a fancy conference center. It is the
Speaker 1: nicest hotel room I've ever been in, and the banquet
Speaker 1: room has crystal glasses, and there is a magic show
Speaker 1: and the college kids have beer. Sign me up. I mean,
Speaker 1: I should note Texas in the eighties you could drink
Speaker 1: and drive still that was like teen and ecstasy was legal,
Speaker 1: so this was quite the time to be in a
Speaker 1: hotel in the Houston area. I'm sure they had a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. So it's perfect as it is, just like,
Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna say this, and then old people
Speaker 1: are going to be excited. The young people are talking
Speaker 1: about these things, and the young people are gonna be
Speaker 1: excited because they get to pretend to be fancy and old,
Speaker 1: just a little feedback and to feel like they're better
Speaker 1: than other young people who are busy getting educations and
Speaker 1: not being indoctrinated. Yeah, it's great. I wonder if any
Speaker 1: current far right media personalities had upbringings in any way
Speaker 1: similar to this. Wow, that's an interesting question. I bet
Speaker 1: nothing will come of that. Yeah, there's no way to
Speaker 1: look into people like where Charlie Kirk. Probably there's probably
Speaker 1: nothing there. There's probably no similarities. So let's let's talk
Speaker 1: about the only time this ever happened. Now. Laura studied
Speaker 1: with Ted Cruz and their fellow Constitutional cooperators to memorize
Speaker 1: the Constitution. As I stated, she claimed, Story hired anemonic
Speaker 1: expert to create a tried and true method for helping
Speaker 1: kids memorize the Constitution. This is necessary, but because stories
Speaker 1: goal was to basically mass produce constitutional corroborators to travel
Speaker 1: around and while the easily wallable all around the United States.
Speaker 1: The time Laura was involved, there were at least six
Speaker 1: different teams of corroborators touring the country at a given time.
Speaker 1: Laura recalled a usual visit quote. We arrive at a
Speaker 1: rotary club meeting and set up our easels in large
Speaker 1: pads of paper without notes. We use our clever pnemonic device,
Speaker 1: and we each write the headlines of our sections. Mine
Speaker 1: include articles four, five, six, and seven. Rooms full of
Speaker 1: almost all white men over the age of fifty wearing
Speaker 1: blue suits are very impressed. Yeah, yeah, that checks out,
Speaker 1: check right there. Now. A major motivation for Laura and
Speaker 1: most of the other corroborators was the chance to win
Speaker 1: scholarships during one speech competition hosted by the Fortune five
Speaker 1: auto parts manufacturer Tentaco. Laura placed first, Ted Cruz placed third.
Speaker 1: We have a picture of them receiving their awards and
Speaker 1: you can see the barely restrained fury and Ted's eyes. Now,
Speaker 1: this will be on Behind the Bastards dot com. I
Speaker 1: gotta pass this around and just get y'all to describe
Speaker 1: how Ted Cruz looks in that picture. I'm not am
Speaker 1: I imagining that the definition of all teeth, no smile,
Speaker 1: Like I'm smiling like they tell me to. But his
Speaker 1: eyes are dead, which we're all familiar with dead eyes,
Speaker 1: like a doll's eye. Yeah, he's familiar with what smiles
Speaker 1: should look like. He's had smiles described to him. It's
Speaker 1: the exact because if you've ever heard Ted Cruz talk,
Speaker 1: he's got that like, here's how I've talked to you.
Speaker 1: This is how a genuine person speaks. And that is
Speaker 1: that smile. That is that smile. Clearly, smiling was not
Speaker 1: one of the tin pillars of economic wisdom, so he
Speaker 1: just didn't study it. Now. Ted went to Second Baptist
Speaker 1: High School, which was a fairly expensive private school in Houston.
Speaker 1: First First Now. According to the book he wrote before
Speaker 1: running for president, the title of which I have forgotten
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to give in this episode, fuck
Speaker 1: itt uh Ted Cruise. But according to this book that
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz wrote, Ted Cruiz was one of the cooler
Speaker 1: kids that Ted Cruizes high school. Oh my god, are
Speaker 1: you kidding? Ted Cruise might be, but I'm not. Quote
Speaker 1: midway through junior high school, I decided I'd had enough
Speaker 1: of being the unpopular nerried. I remember sitting up one
Speaker 1: night asking a friend why I wasn't one of the
Speaker 1: popular kids. I ended up staying up most of that
Speaker 1: night thinking about it. Okay, well, what is it the
Speaker 1: popular kids do? I will consciously emulate that. That is
Speaker 1: that's where he learned how to smile. Well, that's everything,
Speaker 1: is Ted Cruise. If you've seen the pictures of him,
Speaker 1: video with him and his family and stuff, He's consciously
Speaker 1: emulating a human being with a wife and children. That's
Speaker 1: Ted Cruise. Anytime he tries to kiss his wife for
Speaker 1: a child, ohoy, just the worst moment. They seem offended
Speaker 1: that he's near them. There was an article today about
Speaker 1: his wife. We can talk about that later, but it
Speaker 1: was tragic breaking. It's really sad. They're sationship and how
Speaker 1: she basically, well, we can get to him. I would
Speaker 1: describe the way that human beings look when Ted Cruz
Speaker 1: kisses them. Human beings that Ted cruize is related to
Speaker 1: the way they look when he kisses them. It's not
Speaker 1: like I know, you know, people get like pictures of
Speaker 1: like Milannia and try and some of them look like,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple that's having a fight and they're
Speaker 1: a little angry or something like that. But like most
Speaker 1: couples will have moments like that in their relationship. When
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz kisses one of his beloved family members, it
Speaker 1: looks like almost gravitational force repelling. Yeah, like magnets that
Speaker 1: are going further away. It's a it's an instinct. It's
Speaker 1: not even emotion right, right, There's like there's coldness that
Speaker 1: you can see in relationships, but then there's like just recoiling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and how could you not recoil from how could you?
Speaker 1: But no, there's no This isn't even about his appearance.
Speaker 1: This is about yea sure. I mean this woman remembers
Speaker 1: meeting him for the first time and like within seconds,
Speaker 1: like dating. This is a bad human being. Yeah. Now.
Speaker 1: Ted says that in order to get popular, he got
Speaker 1: involved with sports, got contact lenses instead of glasses, and
Speaker 1: was soon a regular party boy. He was even briefly
Speaker 1: suspended for smoking pot um I know, yeah, according to
Speaker 1: the Guardian quote. On other occasions, he wrote, he was
Speaker 1: beaten up by drunk older kids at two am and
Speaker 1: reprimanded by the principle for a prank that involved covering
Speaker 1: a rival schools building in toilet paper and shaving cream,
Speaker 1: then fleeing in a nineteen Ford Fairmont with Wagner's Right
Speaker 1: of the Valkyries blaring out of the car. Sta do
Speaker 1: think being popular includes getting beat up? Yeah? I think so.
Speaker 1: It's attention. Okay, so now we disconnect here. I'm well
Speaker 1: known for getting beat up at two am. Also, I mean,
Speaker 1: I will say a lot of people listen to Right
Speaker 1: of the Valkyries while doing various things. The choice of Wagner, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little fashion, but maybe not in those days. Though
Speaker 1: maybe not in those days people aren't aware. People know
Speaker 1: Apocalypse now would just come out. Maybe that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe it was like he was a populyce. Now that
Speaker 1: I know, Ted is a big film puffy and he
Speaker 1: likes art, so I'm sure that he was. Really he
Speaker 1: does enjoy a nice art, likes to eat it. I'm
Speaker 1: a big fan of the art. Many of Cruz's former
Speaker 1: fellow students and teachers do agree that Ted Cruz was
Speaker 1: widely seen as very intelligent and gifted. He was the
Speaker 1: valedictorian of his class in night. He was always an
Speaker 1: outspoken conservative and always clear that his goal in life
Speaker 1: was to get into politics. It seems like, rather than
Speaker 1: becoming popular by acting less nerdy, Cruz actually gained most
Speaker 1: of what popularity he did have from his nerdiness. Second
Speaker 1: Baptist was a big speech and debate school, and Ted
Speaker 1: Cruz was a fantastic debater. Uh speaking of someone who
Speaker 1: was in speech and debate in Texas, it is definitely
Speaker 1: a community that attracts outspoken, annoying, opinionated conservative kids, which
Speaker 1: I was when I was Ted Cruz's age in an
Speaker 1: attacks in high school. So I can guess what a
Speaker 1: lot of those conversations were like yeah, yeah. Now when
Speaker 1: he graduated in nineteen, seventeen year old Ted Cruze wrote
Speaker 1: this description of his hopes and dreams in his yearbook.
Speaker 1: Upon graduation, Ted hopes to attend Princeton University in major
Speaker 1: in political science and economics. From there, he wants to
Speaker 1: attend law school, possibly Harvard, and achieve a successful law practice.
Speaker 1: He then wants to pursue his real goal, a career
Speaker 1: in politics. Ted would like to run for various political
Speaker 1: offices and eventually achieve a strong enough reputation and track
Speaker 1: record to run for and win president of the United States.
Speaker 1: Presidency has been Ted Cruz's goal from the very beginning. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I was a sixteen year old conservative debater
Speaker 1: who wanted to be the president, and then I became
Speaker 1: an eighteen year old who had to pay rent and
Speaker 1: realized that wasn't a job A good person once. Also,
Speaker 1: like that video of him from high school, I think, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what we're about to get into. Yeah. So, in
Speaker 1: a video filmed right after graduation, Ted Cruz lays out
Speaker 1: his ambitions in a much less polished fashion, and we're
Speaker 1: just gonna play this whole video for y'all. Have you
Speaker 1: both seen this? Oh good, Katie, I'm excited for this. Cody,
Speaker 1: just live through it again. So let's listen to eighteen
Speaker 1: year old Ted Cruise talk about his hopes and dreams. Katie.
Speaker 1: I think you should be able to you can at
Speaker 1: least see him because he's um, he's a character character
Speaker 1: that like went on my butt. Let's don't know, I
Speaker 1: see what you want me to do. What I want
Speaker 1: to do in life, Well, my aspiration is to uh oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, being a teen pit film like that
Speaker 1: guy who played Horatio. You know he was in Malva
Speaker 1: Bikini beach shop. Well, other than that take Over the
Speaker 1: World roll, everything written, powerful, that sort of stuff, that was,
Speaker 1: of course a fake Ted Cruise campaign at using that now,
Speaker 1: normally it would be unfair. I did worse stuff than
Speaker 1: that when I was eighteen. I don't want anyone seeing
Speaker 1: the videos I made when I was eighteen. No, no, no.
Speaker 1: The thing that's in interesting about this is that this
Speaker 1: is probably the best thing Ted Cruze ever did from
Speaker 1: a moral standpoint, because he's not actively harming anyone in
Speaker 1: that video other than perhaps the cameraman. So Ted did
Speaker 1: get to go to Princeton and he went to Harvard
Speaker 1: after that. But his roommate at Princeton was a guy
Speaker 1: named Craig Mason. Now Craig would later go on to
Speaker 1: write the screenplays for the Hangover movie trilogy. Good on, Craig,
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, all right for himself. Weird that that
Speaker 1: took a Princeton education, interesting way to Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: Life's funny like that. Nothing against it. Of all of
Speaker 1: the movies that star, you know, the guy who was
Speaker 1: sexy for a hot minute and then he got huge
Speaker 1: and he played that sniper who lied about Jesse the
Speaker 1: body of Ventura. That guy Bradley, I thought, Okay, is
Speaker 1: he still alive? He is? Apparently he's looking real hot
Speaker 1: in his new movie. A Star was born. Good directed
Speaker 1: that Lady Garga movie and started this Lady Gaga, she's
Speaker 1: still alive. Fantastic, they're all still living? Good I didn't.
Speaker 1: Sophie is covering her her face. Yeah, well, you know what.
Speaker 1: You know more about those people then, and I know
Speaker 1: more about Ted Cruz. So so is the winner now,
Speaker 1: although everyone is about to know the same amount about
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz, who is still alive? Who is still alive?
Speaker 1: Technically that's the point. Now, when we get back, we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about what Craig Mason has to say
Speaker 1: about Mr Cruz. But first, you know, what I love
Speaker 1: is not Dorito's. I do love Cres, but I'm no
Speaker 1: longer giving free ad space to Dorrito's. Well, I just
Speaker 1: feel a little bit like you got to move on.
Speaker 1: I understand. I mean they're not answering. That's just yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to if you love something, let it, let
Speaker 1: it go. Let it go and maybe it'll come back
Speaker 1: to you. And provide free ads for Stretch Island fruit leather.
Speaker 1: The only fruit leather that is currently sitting on the
Speaker 1: table as we record this podcast. That's true, that's the
Speaker 1: only one I right now. Fantastic. All right, here's some
Speaker 1: ads that paid us and we're back. We're talking about
Speaker 1: Craig Mason, who, when Ted Cruise ran for president, his
Speaker 1: former roommate, Craig Mason, screenwriter of the Hangover movie series,
Speaker 1: got onto Twitter and started to talk about his opinions
Speaker 1: on his former roommate, Ted Cruise. It turns out he
Speaker 1: doesn't like him very much. You know. There's some interviews
Speaker 1: with Mr Mason and like with Laura, it sounds like
Speaker 1: Craig pretty much hated Ted Cruise from the moment they met. Quote.
Speaker 1: I remember very specifically that he had a book in
Speaker 1: Spanish and the title was was Carl Marks a Satanist?
Speaker 1: And I thought, who is this person? Even in nineteen
Speaker 1: eight he was politically extreme in a way that was
Speaker 1: surprising to me. It's all, Oh, it's all there, it's
Speaker 1: all there, hasn't changed. For reference, here is a picture
Speaker 1: of Ted Cruz at the time. This is his yearbook
Speaker 1: photo actually from high school. And I'm going to hand
Speaker 1: this to, let's say, Katie. I just just described for
Speaker 1: me as best you can the look on his face
Speaker 1: in that yearbook possessed. I mean, his eyes are kind
Speaker 1: of rolling back. It's almost like he's a shell of
Speaker 1: a man possessed by the spirits of two dead conservative
Speaker 1: ideal laws. I know him. Yeah, I've seen this person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen this person today writing their opinions on the internet. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty remarkable. Now. The Daily Beast talk to
Speaker 1: Mazing and several other members of Princeton's nineteen ninety two
Speaker 1: graduating class. These people all knew Ted Cruise at the time,
Speaker 1: and the Daily Beast concluded after all their interviews that quote,
Speaker 1: the Ted Cruz who arrived as a college freshman in
Speaker 1: nineteen eight was nearly identical to the man who arrived
Speaker 1: in Washington as a freshman Republican senator in two thousand thirteen,
Speaker 1: Which is one thing everyone agrees about with Ted Cruz.
Speaker 1: He has not changed at all since he was a child.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, when you're indoctrinated that early, Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: not going to pick through that. We're just digging deeper.
Speaker 1: You're going to think that Carl Mark saving you already
Speaker 1: know the ten pillars of economic wisdom? What else is
Speaker 1: there to know? Now? Eric Leitch, who lived with Ted
Speaker 1: Cruz at one point during their time at Princeton, said quote,
Speaker 1: it was my distinct impression that Ted had nothing to
Speaker 1: learn from anyone else. The only point of Ted talking
Speaker 1: to you was to convince you of the rightness of
Speaker 1: his views. The worst kind of person. Yeah, yeah, and again,
Speaker 1: very much sounds like a high school speech and debate kid.
Speaker 1: I've resembled that at a time in my life. Normally,
Speaker 1: you go into the world, you meet other people, you
Speaker 1: realize you're not as smart as you thought. You encounter
Speaker 1: some surprises, you meet people with different backgrounds, and you
Speaker 1: become less of that Ted Cruise never did. Yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker 1: You slowly realize like, oh, I'm a dumbas. Oh I'm
Speaker 1: an idiot. I don't have all the answers. Life's really complicated.
Speaker 1: I should listen to other people that you have to
Speaker 1: be able to learn and grow from your mistakes to
Speaker 1: do that, though, So I wonder if that's something we'll
Speaker 1: see Ted Cruise do or if he'll just be continually
Speaker 1: noted as an unchanging monolith of man. At this point,
Speaker 1: it's too late. I don't start now. No, No, other
Speaker 1: classmates at Princeton called College Cruise abrasive, arrogant, creepy, and
Speaker 1: a crank. The Daily Beast notes that four former classmates
Speaker 1: all independently described him as creepy. That's also half of Congress,
Speaker 1: like you, like, you don't even need to say, like, oh,
Speaker 1: someone said this about Ted Cruizes correct, just like described
Speaker 1: Ted Cruise for a second. If there was a vote
Speaker 1: in Congress as to whether or not Ted Cruiz was creepy,
Speaker 1: it would be the only unanimous vote our Congress has had.
Speaker 1: Ted Cruise would vote yes. Finally, Finally, some bipartisanship and
Speaker 1: kind of like, if we can't come together on this,
Speaker 1: what can we agree to? Start with the basics? Ted
Speaker 1: Cruise grossest ship right, Okay, the floor. I'd like to
Speaker 1: agree with my colleague, Ted Cruises absolutely creepy stares at
Speaker 1: me in the bathroom. Yeah. Ted Cruise apparently had a
Speaker 1: habit of putting on a Paisley bathrobe and wall walking
Speaker 1: to the other end of the dorm where all the
Speaker 1: women lived and just sort of hanging out there. No, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what Craig Mason says. I would end up fielding
Speaker 1: the girl's complaints. Could you please keep your roommate out
Speaker 1: of our hallway? Ted Cruise. Now, Cruise played poker regularly
Speaker 1: with a group of upperclassmen and was apparently just as
Speaker 1: bad at that as he is at all vanig stuff.
Speaker 1: He wound up owing eighteen hundred dollars in nineteen eighties
Speaker 1: money to several students. That's a lot a lot of months,
Speaker 1: like six grand a day in like college yeh and
Speaker 1: college an insane amount of money. It's crazy now, Ted
Speaker 1: Cruizes campaign spokesman in two fifteen was asked about Ted
Speaker 1: Cruz being terrible at poker, and she confirmed that Senator
Speaker 1: Cruz once had a quote foolish poker problem. He went
Speaker 1: to his aunt, who worked at a bank in Dallas,
Speaker 1: and borrowed eighteen hundred dollars from her, which he paid
Speaker 1: in cash and promptly quit the game. Is A spokesman
Speaker 1: claims that he worked two jobs and gradually paid his
Speaker 1: aunt off over the next two years. Physical responsibility, responsibility
Speaker 1: more than he's shown as a congressman, which we'll get
Speaker 1: to in a second. Now. In general, it seems like
Speaker 1: the kids who were in debate club with Cruise actually
Speaker 1: did like him, and everybody else kind of hated him.
Speaker 1: His old debate partner speaks particularly well of Ted Cruz. Quote,
Speaker 1: I consider Ted to be very kind. He's a very
Speaker 1: very gentle hearted person. He took me under his wing
Speaker 1: and was a mentor to me. He was very kind
Speaker 1: to me. I am a much smarter and much better
Speaker 1: person today because of Ted Cruz. What did he want?
Speaker 1: I don't know, don't you know? It seems like some
Speaker 1: people did like him, really didn't. I think it's probably
Speaker 1: just that like that kind of relationship that he like.
Speaker 1: Some people are looking for that kind of relationship and
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz only response to that kind of relationship, like
Speaker 1: he's sizing everybody up, like you're useless to me. I
Speaker 1: think you're beneath me, So I'm not going to treat
Speaker 1: you well. This Oh I can mentor I can, I
Speaker 1: can indoctrinate him. And he's a debate kid who's never off.
Speaker 1: Other debate kids who were never off probably get along
Speaker 1: with him. So one thing no one denieses that Ted
Speaker 1: Cruze was exceptionally good at speech and debate. He won
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff. Here's how The Daily Beast described
Speaker 1: his place in that community. Debate weekends included Friday night
Speaker 1: parties that Cruise often attended, where he was remembered to
Speaker 1: be sort of a stud with girls on the debate circuit.
Speaker 1: Princeton debators also said he spent extra time mentoring them
Speaker 1: to improve their skills, even though they competed against each
Speaker 1: other Ted Cruz, that's nice. Pretty Much everyone, whether they
Speaker 1: loved or hated Ted Cruz, agrees that he has not
Speaker 1: changed at all since he was a teenager. After graduation,
Speaker 1: Ted attended Harvard Law School and pretty much immediately got
Speaker 1: into government work. He was the first Hispanic solicitor general
Speaker 1: of Texas and also the longest serving Solicitor General of
Speaker 1: Texas from two thousand three to two thousand eight. He
Speaker 1: argued in front of the Supreme Court a number of times,
Speaker 1: including to defend a Ten Commandments monument at the Austin
Speaker 1: State Capitol. His proudest moment was arguing Medine versus Texas
Speaker 1: before the Supreme Court, which defended the state of Texas
Speaker 1: right to execute a Mexican citizen without letting him talk
Speaker 1: to his consulate. Imagine that being the the hell you
Speaker 1: want to die on. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a
Speaker 1: complicated case, but that's sort of what it boils down to,
Speaker 1: is they didn't inform Ammy at a Yeah. Anyway, it's
Speaker 1: my soul skating riv slowly sliding out of you. That's
Speaker 1: the Ted Cruise effect. Now, for a long time, cruizes
Speaker 1: ambition was to become the Attorney General at the United States.
Speaker 1: But rather than getting good with Mitt Romney and try
Speaker 1: to wangle a job as Attorney general if he you know,
Speaker 1: somehow one in two thousand twelve, Ted Cruz made the
Speaker 1: in retrospect wise decision to run for Senate in two
Speaker 1: thousand twelve instead one in the primary and that victory
Speaker 1: was one of the most stunning upsets of the entire year.
Speaker 1: He was essentially swept into office by a wave of
Speaker 1: Tea Party sentiment that was still a big deal. Back
Speaker 1: in two thousand twelve, he won the general election as well,
Speaker 1: and just like that, Ted Cruiz was one step closer
Speaker 1: to his dream of becoming the president. Here's young Ted Cruise,
Speaker 1: fresh faced, looking good. I mean, that's all very He's
Speaker 1: just such a tweet, such a tete. I love the
Speaker 1: pictures of Ted Cruiz with a gun because he holds
Speaker 1: a gun like someone who's had them described to him before.
Speaker 1: That's about it. And he's aware of what they are.
Speaker 1: He's aware of what they are. Have you seen him
Speaker 1: shoot the bacon? Oh god, yeah, that's a bad one,
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. Yeah, where he's trying to cook the bacon,
Speaker 1: it's like, what are you like? Wait, and he shoots
Speaker 1: it instead. No, no, no, you can cook bacon on
Speaker 1: a collash on any kind of gun that has a
Speaker 1: long enough exposed like wrap, you wrap the bacon around.
Speaker 1: They shoots it and heats it up and then he
Speaker 1: eats it. And because he's a real Texan man, I
Speaker 1: used to live in Texas and did a bunch of shooting,
Speaker 1: and we would for fun. You do stuff like crack
Speaker 1: eggs in the receiver of a clashnikov or something, and
Speaker 1: you'd like line it with foil and you can cook eggs,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of rounds and the eggs will cook,
Speaker 1: and it's like a fun thing drunk people do on
Speaker 1: the weekend. Not congressional candidates right to prove you're like
Speaker 1: Texan clout like no, Ted, this is no, you're not.
Speaker 1: You're not. It's your Canadian and it's fine, be okay
Speaker 1: with that. So the next year, after being elected two thirteen,
Speaker 1: Senator Cruz made a name for himself in Washington, and
Speaker 1: by many accounts, not a good one. One of his
Speaker 1: first moments of dominance was arguing against the Women's Health
Speaker 1: Protection Act. Crews said that this act, which would have
Speaker 1: essentially there was a law in Texas that cut down
Speaker 1: by like half the number of abortion clinics that were
Speaker 1: allowed to be open in the state by putting a
Speaker 1: new restrictions on them. This was a federal act that
Speaker 1: was supposed to basically stop that law and stop other
Speaker 1: laws like that all around the nation, so that women
Speaker 1: could have more access to safe sexual health care and abortions.
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz called this a manifestation of a war on women,
Speaker 1: and he claimed planned parenthood was unnecessary because there wasn't
Speaker 1: a shortage of rubbers is the term he used? Gross?
Speaker 1: Really gross? Sex? Have he has weighed in, Ted Cruz
Speaker 1: actual sex have her yeah now. In late two thousand thirteen,
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz is one of several House Republicans who threatened
Speaker 1: the United States UH that they would shut down the
Speaker 1: government and refused to pass a new spending bell if
Speaker 1: that spending bell included any money for Obamacare. Cruz was
Speaker 1: one of the main architects of the shutdown, and he
Speaker 1: spoke for twenty one hours in order to help delay
Speaker 1: the vote. He read green, eggs and ham on the
Speaker 1: Senate floor for a section of this because politics is
Speaker 1: serious business. Theoteen shutdown lasted seventeen days and cost the
Speaker 1: United States and estimated twenty four billion dollars. Ted Cruz now,
Speaker 1: he was not the only Republican obviously, who supported the shutdown.
Speaker 1: It's not the only Republican who are getting against the
Speaker 1: Women's Health Protection Act. One of the things that stands
Speaker 1: out about Ted Cruz is the sheer vitriol, a contempt
Speaker 1: that he's held in by other Republicans. It's really the
Speaker 1: thing that's remarkable about him, and it seems to have
Speaker 1: started with John McCain. So McCain got mifted ted during
Speaker 1: that twenty one hour speech he gave arguing in favor
Speaker 1: of the shutdown because crews compared Republicans who voted to
Speaker 1: approve the Spinning Doll with Nazia peasers. Oh, Ted, you
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking. If you go to the
Speaker 1: nineteen forties Nazi Germany. Look, we saw in Britain Neville
Speaker 1: Chamberlain who told the British people except the Nazis. Yes,
Speaker 1: they'll dominate the continent of Europe, but that's not our problem.
Speaker 1: Let's appease them. Why because it can't be done. We
Speaker 1: can't possibly stand against them. Not when Neville Chamberlain said
Speaker 1: not at all, not at all, would never Chamberlain, Uh part,
Speaker 1: for the course, I don't know why, I absolutely not.
Speaker 1: John McCain, being a human being who's read a history book,
Speaker 1: was offended by this. He considered this inappropriate and shameful,
Speaker 1: especially since it was basically calling many Republicans who was
Speaker 1: friends with Nazis McCain took to calling Cruiz a wacko bird.
Speaker 1: One of McCain's advisers later told a reporter, he fucking
Speaker 1: hates crews. He's just offended by his style. In two
Speaker 1: thousand sixteen, when Ted Cruz was running for office, you
Speaker 1: remember there was a little bit of a controversy over
Speaker 1: whether or not he could be president. What the whole
Speaker 1: board in Canada. Now, most Republicans were pretty adamant that
Speaker 1: Cruz was able to be president. John McCain said he
Speaker 1: didn't know the live interview, which is beautiful bit of
Speaker 1: John McCain's shade right there. Maybe might be who knows,
Speaker 1: John McCain and I fucking hate Ted Cruise. How Speaker
Speaker 1: John Bayner, a Republican, called Ted Cruise lucifer in the flesh.
Speaker 1: Senaer Lindsay Graham, also a Republican, said in two thousand
Speaker 1: and sixteen, if you killed Ted Cruise on the floor
Speaker 1: of the Senate and the trial was in the Senate,
Speaker 1: nobody would convict you there. It is. When Ted ran
Speaker 1: for president in two thousand, fifteen and sixteen, only one
Speaker 1: of his fellow congress people would stoop to endorsing him.
Speaker 1: Some guy from Utah. His fellow Texan John Cornyn wouldn't
Speaker 1: even do it. Yeah. Now, Cruise has been a consistent ticket.
Speaker 1: After the ISIS attacks in Brussels in March of two
Speaker 1: thousand sixteen, he suggested the government quote patrol and secure
Speaker 1: Muslim neighborhoods to stop radicalization. He proposed banning refugees from
Speaker 1: Syria almost the incident they started fleeing from there. In
Speaker 1: two thousand fifteen, he sought and accepted the endorsement of
Speaker 1: Troy Newman, an anti abortion activist who is an anti
Speaker 1: abortion activist in the same way that hit there was
Speaker 1: an anti communist activist. Newman has called for the execution
Speaker 1: of abortion doctors and said that the entire nation will
Speaker 1: be quote blood guilty until people start murdering abortion doctors
Speaker 1: in the streets. I Think Progress notes that that same year,
Speaker 1: Cruz was interviewed and asked if he knew of a
Speaker 1: single pro life activist who had ever advocated violence. Ted
Speaker 1: Cruz said he did not. Um, what what do you
Speaker 1: do on this podcast? If someone is speechless? Usually I
Speaker 1: just laugh. That's kind of my my self defense mechanism
Speaker 1: is just to giggle, just to giggle at this gargoyle
Speaker 1: of a man, and like, it's just I think this
Speaker 1: so many times every single day. Just say this to
Speaker 1: his face and record it. And then when he says no,
Speaker 1: say but Mr Cruz, I have here on my phone.
Speaker 1: But we're drawn up. It's right here. We know for
Speaker 1: a fact you saw this guy's endorsement out here's things
Speaker 1: he said. I'm presenting you with all these facts that
Speaker 1: you can read right now. What do you have to
Speaker 1: say to that God? It would be nice if there
Speaker 1: were some group of people in society whose job was
Speaker 1: to speak truth to people in power. It would be
Speaker 1: really good if that job existed. Create that job. Did
Speaker 1: we just invent a new thing? Yeah? It's like almost
Speaker 1: like a fourth branch of government, like a fourth sort
Speaker 1: of institution that you look like like in a state
Speaker 1: that's not one of the other three. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: want You don't want one of the three. You want
Speaker 1: like a fourth one. We'll circle back around on this.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're corroborators, because that's already taken. Could
Speaker 1: we just be corroborators? Corroborators the corroborators. Okay, well it's
Speaker 1: got your name in it, so that works. We'll circle
Speaker 1: back on that there's something there. No one's ever called
Speaker 1: me rob and I don't approve of people doing it
Speaker 1: in this Roberts thank you. Now. Near the end of fifteen,
Speaker 1: right wing gunman Robert Dear murdered three people at an
Speaker 1: abortion clinic. You may remember this. One week later, Ted
Speaker 1: Cruz claimed in an interview that Christians hadn't carried out
Speaker 1: terror attacks and centuries stating this at a rally, President
Speaker 1: Obama gave a speech in which he said, yes, Isis
Speaker 1: commits terrorist attacks, but so do Christians, and so do Jews.
Speaker 1: And then he invoked the Crusades in the Inquisition. Now,
Speaker 1: last I checked those in about nine years ago, and
Speaker 1: I don't think it's asking too much for the President
Speaker 1: of the United States to stay in the current millennium. Now.
Speaker 1: Cruise reaction to the Deer shooting is interesting because he
Speaker 1: simultaneously shamed the news media for daring to assume that
Speaker 1: this massacre at an abortion clinic was a right wing attack,
Speaker 1: and he found a way to blame the left for
Speaker 1: the murders. His initial statement was that basically he floated
Speaker 1: the idea that Deer was a quote transgendered leftist activist
Speaker 1: for really no reason at all but to be a dick,
Speaker 1: because it's just as plausible that a transgender leftist activist
Speaker 1: shot up an abortion clinic as a right wing anti
Speaker 1: abortion active. Clearly the same thing. Now, his sliminess during
Speaker 1: the two thousand and sixteen primary new no ideological bounds.
Speaker 1: At different times during his campaign, Cruise sent out a
Speaker 1: photoshoped image of Marco Rubio shaking hands with Barack Obama.
Speaker 1: Uh nerve, how dare a member of Congress? My god,
Speaker 1: so did you refuse to shake the President's hand for
Speaker 1: eight years of shaking? It's just like a normal human
Speaker 1: thing to do. Anyway, Ted Cruz sent out a robot
Speaker 1: call design to trick Republican listeners into thinking Marco Rubio
Speaker 1: supported amnesty. The actual audio of the call was essentially
Speaker 1: nonsense in Spanish, but it included the words Marco Rubio
Speaker 1: amnestia and immigrassion iligal, so that English speaking Republicans who
Speaker 1: didn't speak Spanish but overheard it on the radio would
Speaker 1: assume it was a Marco Rubio ad reaching out the
Speaker 1: Spanish speaking voters by promising them amnesty is illegal. You
Speaker 1: think that would be an illegal kind of thing to do? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you would think that would be a crime. That's incredible,
Speaker 1: you know what I do think it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say so. I love that. Uh. He definitely
Speaker 1: never had an answer for that. Yeah, like nobody ever
Speaker 1: held him accountable for. He also sent out a robotall
Speaker 1: attacking candidate Donald Trump for not supporting the Confederate flag.
Speaker 1: The recording started with a clip of Trump saying, put
Speaker 1: it in a museum, let it go, and then an
Speaker 1: announcer said, that's Donald Trump supporting Nicki Haley removing the
Speaker 1: battle flag from the Confederate Memorial in Columbia. Trump talks
Speaker 1: about our flag like it's a social disease. That's not
Speaker 1: your flag, man, No, it's not. It's the flag of
Speaker 1: an enemy we beat. How did I just agree with something,
Speaker 1: Donald Trump. That's the amazing thing about Ted Cruiz is
Speaker 1: that now we're both sympathetic towards Marco Rubio and Donald
Speaker 1: Trump in the space of two paragraphs. Because Ted Cruiz
Speaker 1: is that slimmy scare you. Now. Another thing Cruises campaign
Speaker 1: did was make a fake Facebook profile for South Carolina
Speaker 1: Congressman Tray Goudy, who had endorsed Marco Rubio. They had
Speaker 1: their fake out he endorsed Cruise instead and repeal. Now,
Speaker 1: the Cruise campaign officially denies they had anything to do
Speaker 1: with this, but come yeah, who did it then? Ted Cruz,
Speaker 1: guy who has done nothing but the shadiest things. One
Speaker 1: of Cruiz's attack ads in the election was even banned
Speaker 1: because it basically blamed Marco Rubio for the San Bernardino
Speaker 1: terror attacks because he supported immigration reform. It's getting that
Speaker 1: man the presidency. This is a guy we need in
Speaker 1: the Oval office. Every time Ted Cruz has been on
Speaker 1: the campaign trail, his number one advocate has been his father.
Speaker 1: Rafael Cruise is a pastor and a fiery speaker who
Speaker 1: can say things out loud that Ted Cruise only gets
Speaker 1: to think. Here's a brief list of things that Rafael
Speaker 1: Cruz has claimed over the years. Number one, the United
Speaker 1: States is a Christian nation. Number two Barack Obama is
Speaker 1: an outright Marxist who wants to destroy all concept of God.
Speaker 1: Number three, Barack Obama should be sent back to Kenya.
Speaker 1: Number four, social justice is a cancer. Number five gays
Speaker 1: and lesbians are a group of sexual deviance driving the
Speaker 1: political agenda in this country. Number six, Barack Obama is
Speaker 1: setting up death panels and in two thousand fifteen had
Speaker 1: established quote another tyrannical dictatorship with no control by anyone.
Speaker 1: You guys, remember when Barack Obama established a dictatorship. I'd
Speaker 1: forgotten to thank you for the reminder. Remember, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was really weird because uh we voted for a new president. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The dictator was like alright, stepped down peacefully and did
Speaker 1: everything he could to make the transitions move. Did everything
Speaker 1: he could like a dictator, classic Hitler move, making things
Speaker 1: easier for the next time. Hate dictator, classic Hitler move
Speaker 1: to accept the idea of the next guy. Now. Mother
Speaker 1: Jones published an article about Pastor Cruise as wildest Statements
Speaker 1: in October two fifteen. This forced Cruises spokeswoman to clarify
Speaker 1: that Pastor Cruz did not speak for his son. Then
Speaker 1: Mothers found documents that proved one of Senator Cruz's aids
Speaker 1: had worked to help Pastor crew schedule his appearances and
Speaker 1: booked gigs, including paid gigs, which is probably illegal, but
Speaker 1: you know, just enough on the side of deniable that
Speaker 1: not much ever happened. It's impossible to overstate how critical
Speaker 1: Papa Cruz has been in his son's rise. Ted Cruz is,
Speaker 1: as of Americans, seemed to agree a gross, creepy weirdo.
Speaker 1: His dad, however, fought against a dictator and survived being tortured.
Speaker 1: He's an immigrant hero success store, whereas Ted is just
Speaker 1: a kid who is good at debate. On the campaign trail,
Speaker 1: Ted claimed that his lifelong desire to quote fight for
Speaker 1: liberty had been born out of hearing his dad's stories
Speaker 1: of his time as a revolutionary. So that's what we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about next for a little while, because
Speaker 1: extensive research by The New York Times suggests that these
Speaker 1: stories of Rafael Cruz are largely fabricated. Rafael Cruz claims
Speaker 1: that he was close comrades with a famous martyred student activists,
Speaker 1: Frank Pies, who died months after Cruz claims to have
Speaker 1: watched him die. Now. Rafael also claims that he was
Speaker 1: given up by a double agent and tortured by the
Speaker 1: Batista government. He claims he threw firebombs and blew up
Speaker 1: buildings and was in general badass revolutionary. But The Times
Speaker 1: talked to numerous Cubans, both in Cuba and in the
Speaker 1: United States who were active in the country's rebellion at
Speaker 1: the time, and in interviews, Raphael Cruz's former comrades and
Speaker 1: friends disputed his description of his role in the Cuban resistance.
Speaker 1: He was a teenager who wrote on walls and marched
Speaker 1: in the streets, they said, not a rebel leader running
Speaker 1: guns are blowing up buildings. Here's the New York Times.
Speaker 1: Leonor Aristuche seventy nine, a student leader in the fifties
Speaker 1: whom the Castro government later hired to verify the supposed
Speaker 1: exploits of revolutionary veterans, said a term existed for people
Speaker 1: like Mr Cruz oh Ya Laterro's or wishful thinkers, people
Speaker 1: wishing and praying that Batista would fall, she said, but
Speaker 1: not doing much to act on it. Now. Leonard is
Speaker 1: obviously biased since she works for the government, but The
Speaker 1: New York Times also talked to former rebels who now
Speaker 1: live in the United States. They were all firm that
Speaker 1: Pastor Cruz had vastly exaggerated his part in the revolution.
Speaker 1: The truth seems to be that he was busted for
Speaker 1: carrying an illegal gun and beat up by the cops,
Speaker 1: but was never able to do much more than draw
Speaker 1: some graffiti. So if you're all up to date on
Speaker 1: American politics. You know that Senator Ted Cruz is currently
Speaker 1: running to defend his seat from the Democratic challenger Beto O'Rourke,
Speaker 1: who ran up on a skateboard and for some reason recently, yeah,
Speaker 1: because somebody gave him one. They're like, it's like, here's skateboard. Oh,
Speaker 1: you wanted me to write it. Yeah, I'll be cool.
Speaker 1: I'll be I'll be I'll be the cool young candidate. Relatable.
Speaker 1: We all skateboard, we were all stateboarders here. It was
Speaker 1: a relatable thing to do if he had been running
Speaker 1: in Santa Monica, the only place I've seen the skateboard
Speaker 1: in the last nine years. So during this election, this
Speaker 1: is a very tight race. Obviously, Beto has raised substantially
Speaker 1: more money than Ted Cruz, but Ted Cruz is a
Speaker 1: Republican with a beating heart in Texas, which gives him
Speaker 1: a pretty significant advantage still to overcome. Now. During this campaign,
Speaker 1: Cruiz has continued to use his trademark super Gross Slimy
Speaker 1: Eelman tactics. The campaign, for example, allows people to volunteer
Speaker 1: to send texts and to call voters on behalf of
Speaker 1: the campaign. Several Cruise people have apparently infiltrated the effort
Speaker 1: as a way to slander Beto God. One of these
Speaker 1: infiltrators sent this text message out to random voters. Hi,
Speaker 1: it's Patsy here with Betto for Texas. Our records indicate
Speaker 1: that you're a supporter. We are in search of volunteers
Speaker 1: to help transport undocumented immigrants to polling booths so that
Speaker 1: they will be able to vote. Would you be able
Speaker 1: to support the scrassroots effort? Oh my god? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the good stuff, the stuff. Yeah. People making a
Speaker 1: big deal about this because all you can do is
Speaker 1: just it's just more like it's all he does. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: that's so upset and it's super sleecy. Yeah, just because
Speaker 1: like last weekend I was doing canvasing and the very
Speaker 1: first thing they said, be respectful to the other people,
Speaker 1: don't tear down other people's lines, don't do like this
Speaker 1: is we want people to vote. It to be fair. Actually,
Speaker 1: we respect each other in a democracy. Just don't like
Speaker 1: we're not like literal worms. Yeah, like we're not all
Speaker 1: chomping at the bit to kill each other. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna throw in a little Texan is m here for
Speaker 1: the listeners in Texas who are about to go vote
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz is oilier than a water burger. Rapper Burger
Speaker 1: is really popular in Texas. That new uh link later?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, the second was like, yeah, anyway, they
Speaker 1: talk about what a burger. Yeah, they talk about what
Speaker 1: it's It's a big thing in Texas for reasons that
Speaker 1: are inexplicable to people who don't live there. I've seen
Speaker 1: the discussions that I just couldn't care less about. No,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't, you shouldn't. It's a it's the heat stroke.
Speaker 1: We're all of heat strike in Texas and it damages
Speaker 1: people's brains. And water Burger that's very popular anyway, water Burger.
Speaker 1: If you want to support the show, I will recant
Speaker 1: my statements about brain damage being the primary driver of
Speaker 1: sales to your hamburgers. It's actually the delicious taste. It's
Speaker 1: the delicious taste of water Burger. Actually like water Burger.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm just I'm just I'm hurt
Speaker 1: from the breakup with Derrito's, and I'm just throwing shade
Speaker 1: on innocent brands. Yeah, well, that's natural in a normal
Speaker 1: part of the healing process, don't you know. What else
Speaker 1: is natural in a normal part of the healing process.
Speaker 1: So now there have been a couple of different variations
Speaker 1: on the having members of the Cruise campaign infiltrate the
Speaker 1: Beto campaign and send out blatantly illegal text messages. There's
Speaker 1: been a few different variations in this tactic. It's debatable
Speaker 1: obviously if Cruise had any involvement. I bet you would
Speaker 1: debate it really well. I bet he debated very well.
Speaker 1: He's a good debater, he's ready. He wanted to debate
Speaker 1: him about it too. It is worth noting that the
Speaker 1: Cruise campaign also sent out fundraising letters to raise money
Speaker 1: for the campaign, in an envelope that said summons enclosed,
Speaker 1: open immediately and looked like a court summons people who
Speaker 1: opened it. It was actually a summons to give the
Speaker 1: Cruise campaign money. Uh, something that could backfire? It does?
Speaker 1: It does? He actually tried the same thing in two
Speaker 1: thousand fifteen, but with a voting violation notice printed on
Speaker 1: top to make dumb people think they've broken along. Grossest
Speaker 1: stuff for Ted or else. You're in trouble, like you
Speaker 1: can't be honest about your opponent, you can't be honest
Speaker 1: about your own campaign. No it's so disgusting. There's nothing
Speaker 1: else to you that all you have is dirty tricks.
Speaker 1: It's just like dirty tricks that Richard Nixon would be like, dude,
Speaker 1: like get a dog and give a speech with a dog.
Speaker 1: Don't be fucking don't do this. Ship. It's not even
Speaker 1: like it's just like scamming. It's like you're just doing
Speaker 1: cammera tax ye to get people to vote for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not even like sometimes you hear about sleazy political
Speaker 1: stuff where it's like, well, that's evil, but it's genius, right,
Speaker 1: like that that crosses the line a little bit, or
Speaker 1: like oh that's a little sleazy. No, this is just
Speaker 1: like scammer tactics. Yeah, blatantly. It's like he's trying to
Speaker 1: sign people from an MLM, but instead he's running for Congress. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now it's unclear at this point who's going to win
Speaker 1: at the mid term tex who's gonna who's gonna win
Speaker 1: that election. I think everyone listening to this can guess
Speaker 1: which side I'm on. I suspect more Republicans than will
Speaker 1: admit it, but I think everyone's sort of in the
Speaker 1: in the camp of like I just don't want to
Speaker 1: be involved in our national discourse. I mean the fact
Speaker 1: that Beto O'Rourke has closed the gap so much as
Speaker 1: pretty remarkable. You know, Win Ted Cruz was arguing the
Speaker 1: Women's Health Act thing was a manifestation of a warren women.
Speaker 1: I was in Austin at that point and marched when
Speaker 1: Wendy Davis did her big filibuster, marched on the state
Speaker 1: capital with a bunch of friends. I had a concealed
Speaker 1: handgun license at that point, and I carried a gun
Speaker 1: with me. And when we went to the state capital
Speaker 1: to protest, I was with several ladies and they were
Speaker 1: searched and had to empty all of the tampons out
Speaker 1: of their backs. They couldn't carry tampons into the Texas
Speaker 1: State Capital because the guards worried that they would throw tampons.
Speaker 1: But your gun was I was allowed to take my
Speaker 1: gun into the Capital house. Yeah, I could walk in
Speaker 1: with a loaded forty caliber. They saw semi automatic, and you, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I showed it. I showed they saw the guns because
Speaker 1: I'm a responsible gun onner. I showed him my license.
Speaker 1: I did. Well, you know of women can't be trusted
Speaker 1: with tampons, Well, no, women can't be trusted with his tampons,
Speaker 1: with them shovel off their vagina. Well, if they threw
Speaker 1: a tampon, I mean, it is a potential projectile way
Speaker 1: deadlier than a forty caliber round traveling at percond That
Speaker 1: is bonkers. It's crazy, right, my god. Can you believe
Speaker 1: that ship? That is? I mean, I believe it sadly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now it's anyone's guests obviously as to who's going to
Speaker 1: win this election no matter what happens, though, I think
Speaker 1: the story of Ted Cruise is ultimately quite tragic. He
Speaker 1: was raised almost from birth on the very specific ideals
Speaker 1: of two different conservative idealogues, Fred Clark and Roland Story.
Speaker 1: Both of these men are now dead and most of
Speaker 1: their ideals have sort of fallen by the way side,
Speaker 1: even in mainstream Republican society. Hence the whole constant expensive
Speaker 1: wars overseas Ted Cruz. It's almost like he's the political
Speaker 1: equivalent of some sort of like AI defense system designed
Speaker 1: by an ancient race extinct. Yeah, and then the Aliens go.
Speaker 1: There's a Star Trek Next Generation episode called the Lost
Speaker 1: Outpost episode four, season one, and in this episode that
Speaker 1: the Enterprise and the Ferengi ship get captured essentially by
Speaker 1: this planet. That's like there's this defense system on it
Speaker 1: that was part of an alien empire sixty million years
Speaker 1: ago or something that that has since fallen, and the
Speaker 1: AI that runs this defense thing doesn't know that the
Speaker 1: empire has fallen. That's that's kind of Ted Cruise. Yeah,
Speaker 1: full capacity, his systems online. Yeah yeah, still attacking, doing
Speaker 1: damage even though, but everyone that wrote the code is
Speaker 1: like long dead and wrong. Yeah, dead and wrong by tragic.
Speaker 1: It is tragic, and I think a really accessible reference
Speaker 1: for the great episode. Not a great episode, knows. It
Speaker 1: introduced the Ferengi, which we're pretty anti semitic. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a little gross, Yeah, little gross there. I mean they're
Speaker 1: Ted Cruzy and there they are. It's like a whole
Speaker 1: race of Ted Cruizes. Yeah. Now that's all I have
Speaker 1: to say about Ted Cruz. Hopefully ever, hopefully better with
Speaker 1: Rourke beats him. Yeah, we might never have to talk
Speaker 1: about Cruise again. Yeah, we may never have to talk
Speaker 1: about again. Or like I like part of the imagine
Speaker 1: is like, okay, so he loses the better and then
Speaker 1: he's like, oh well, now I'll find my principles and
Speaker 1: I'll run against Donald Trump. Uh, and I'll try to
Speaker 1: primary him because he's a principled man who wants you
Speaker 1: to vote your conscience. Like you said that one time
Speaker 1: and then totally flipped around. I was. I was at
Speaker 1: the RNC and the one moment in my life I
Speaker 1: almost had an inkling of respect for Ted Cruz is
Speaker 1: when he gave that speech where everyone was expecting to
Speaker 1: endure Donald Trump and then he didn't. But then he
Speaker 1: did it anyway anyway, and it's just so embarrassed. It's
Speaker 1: so shameful. Yeah, about your conscience dog just eating that
Speaker 1: pile of ship and then needing to do that fake
Speaker 1: smile afterwards, like it's not even that he's spineless, and
Speaker 1: that it's that he's such an absence of spine that
Speaker 1: he lowers the bone density of people around. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: bringing back that article about his wife and her trying
Speaker 1: to spin it positive about stuff, and it's sad and
Speaker 1: you can maybe I'm reading between the lines, but I'm
Speaker 1: not about her lack of respect, Like she wandered onto
Speaker 1: the freeway on ramp one night because she had to
Speaker 1: give up her career to come do this for him,
Speaker 1: And then it was like, oh, a spiritual person on
Speaker 1: a Christian retreat, was you put on God to help
Speaker 1: your husband all that stuff like that, and that that's
Speaker 1: what this article is about. And she's just like, well
Speaker 1: like just kind of biting your tongue about her gross,
Speaker 1: spineless husband that she can't possibly be attracted to. No, No,
Speaker 1: I mean, we're not going to go into detail, but
Speaker 1: we can all picture what we would think Ted Cruz
Speaker 1: would look like during sex. And it's gross. It's gross,
Speaker 1: and it's uncomfortable, and I have to imagine it's gross
Speaker 1: and uncomfortable for his wife for sure. Oh yeah, it
Speaker 1: comes the sex. She did say that he was his moves.
Speaker 1: Here comes the sex, going to do a sex at you.
Speaker 1: He's gonna sex towards you, Ted Cruz. Alright, this has
Speaker 1: been behind the bastards. Katie Cody. You guys want to
Speaker 1: plug the plug doubles that you have to plug, there
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