1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:06,040
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. Sit is Friday, October the seventeenth, and

2
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 1: a simple question for you? Do you think you've truly

3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,680
Speaker 1: been in love? What is your answer to that question?

4
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:20,799
Speaker 1: Because j Lo's answer to that question created all kinds

5
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,079
Speaker 1: of headlines and now has sparked this conversation on this

6
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,320
Speaker 1: episode of Amy and TJ Robes. Can you end? Is

7
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:32,600
Speaker 1: that a simple question? Do you think you've truly been love?

8
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,839
Speaker 1: That's different saying have you ever been in love? That's different?

9
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,960
Speaker 1: That's a Is that a heavy question?

10
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,280
Speaker 2: I think it seems simple on its face, and yet

11
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:47,840
Speaker 2: once you've lived enough life and have had enough relationships,

12
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,239
Speaker 2: it actually becomes a complicated question. But I don't think

13
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,760
Speaker 2: that's a bad thing. I think it's actually really cool.

14
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,680
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I'll ask you. You've seen more of the

15
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 1: headlines and are they are they questioning and saying about

16
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,120
Speaker 1: j Lo? You know, what is the feedback or what

17
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,760
Speaker 1: is the reaction to her doing this? Howard Stern interview.

18
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,160
Speaker 1: He asked her that question and her response to it.

19
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,920
Speaker 1: What is the reaction to her response?

20
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,480
Speaker 2: I think people are just repeating what she said and

21
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,679
Speaker 2: wondering what it means, and I think people are taking

22
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 2: it actually is very thought provoking because everyone internalizes that. Look,

23
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,319
Speaker 2: she did a whole movie while she was married to

24
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,679
Speaker 2: at the time what seemed like the love of her

25
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,520
Speaker 2: life Ben Affleck when she did a whole movie about love,

26
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,960
Speaker 2: and it points to the fact that you can think

27
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,720
Speaker 2: you're in love, and you can think you know what

28
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:41,560
Speaker 2: love is, and then when life happens, you actually recognize

29
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,760
Speaker 2: that you don't know what you don't know. And I

30
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,680
Speaker 2: just think that answering that question, you might have different

31
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,520
Speaker 2: answers to that question at different parts or phases or

32
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,400
Speaker 2: points in your life.

33
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,280
Speaker 1: Okay, see mine was it that? That's what you're saying

34
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,640
Speaker 1: makes sense, But that's oftentimes when somebody asks you if

35
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:04,480
Speaker 1: you have truly been in love? I was interested in

36
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:08,840
Speaker 1: this answer. If you think you have truly been in love?

37
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,240
Speaker 1: That was a different question. It made me been loved.

38
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 1: Excuse me, that made me stop and think about this

39
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,960
Speaker 1: whole question in relationships differently. I can answer for me

40
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,600
Speaker 1: very easily, right, and most people listening, have you ever

41
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,320
Speaker 1: been in love? Boom boom boom boom boom, have you

42
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:28,120
Speaker 1: truly been loved? That's stop and think about that. And

43
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,840
Speaker 1: for a woman who's been through at least relationship wise.

44
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I see like I know more about her

45
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,200
Speaker 1: relationship history than I know about my own sometimes because

46
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,400
Speaker 1: her stuff has been out there so much. But I

47
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,400
Speaker 1: thought she did give an interesting answer to it. And

48
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,320
Speaker 1: I was surprised when you brought this to my attention,

49
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,360
Speaker 1: just how much has been talked about she did. How

50
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,840
Speaker 1: long was the interview with howidch S turned hour and

51
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:47,200
Speaker 1: a half.

52
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,000
Speaker 3: It was very in depth.

53
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,360
Speaker 2: It was one of the most, if not the most

54
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,520
Speaker 2: in depth interview I've ever seen her give.

55
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 3: Annie. I've been lucky.

56
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,200
Speaker 2: Enough to interview her twice, and you know, you get

57
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,680
Speaker 2: like a fifteen minute time limit.

58
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 3: I guess that you don't want to.

59
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:05,280
Speaker 2: Get too many people asking you too many questions unless

60
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,080
Speaker 2: you fully trust them. And so I think she really

61
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,600
Speaker 2: believes she's on a campaign here promoting her new movie,

62
00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,120
Speaker 2: The Kiss of the Spider Woman, and she's getting rave reviews,

63
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:18,400
Speaker 2: and I think maybe she's feeling successful in this new

64
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,600
Speaker 2: movie and feeling good and proud of the work she's

65
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,640
Speaker 2: done since the divorce with Ben, that she finally sat

66
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 2: down with someone in depth that she trusts or knows,

67
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,320
Speaker 2: Howard Stern, And she actually was very insightful in a

68
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,840
Speaker 2: way I have not and not performative and not prepared

69
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,040
Speaker 2: and not planned and canned and had these prepped responses.

70
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,240
Speaker 2: I felt like we were really hearing her bear her soul,

71
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 2: which was really cool.

72
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:46,720
Speaker 1: And we heard from her on the question about true love. Now,

73
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,720
Speaker 1: this is a woman Rose, and I applaud I applaud

74
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 1: anybody like her who has had her or him who's

75
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,839
Speaker 1: had right. Love keeps knocking you down and you get

76
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 1: back up. Right. She's been knocked down four times, you

77
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 1: could argue, now I would applaud her if she decided

78
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 1: to get married at fifth time, to hear her keep

79
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,560
Speaker 1: going for it. And I've always applauded what does that mean?

80
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,600
Speaker 1: Someone have different opinions of it, but all she's been through,

81
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,839
Speaker 1: I would like to give her a credit for being

82
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:21,160
Speaker 1: a hopeless romantic. Is that too fantastical on my part?

83
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,320
Speaker 2: No? And I think that part of the I think

84
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,120
Speaker 2: the naysayers, the people who are looking at it with skepticism,

85
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,880
Speaker 2: are saying, Okay, she just doesn't know what love is.

86
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,800
Speaker 2: She wants the feeling of excitement and the thrill of

87
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:40,040
Speaker 2: new love, and that like romantic. Oh okay, that romantically

88
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 2: to continue and when it dies, when it goes away,

89
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,400
Speaker 2: which it inevitably does.

90
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,680
Speaker 3: That's not what she is chasing.

91
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,240
Speaker 2: Isn't love, it's the feeling of being in love, of

92
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:55,320
Speaker 2: being infatuated. That actual love isn't glamorous or sexy or

93
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,800
Speaker 2: hot all the time. It's actually tough and hard, and

94
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:03,560
Speaker 2: it making the choices that you stick with someone, and

95
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,200
Speaker 2: you invest in someone, and you respect someone and all

96
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,440
Speaker 2: of that. So I'm not saying that she hasn't done

97
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,040
Speaker 2: all of those things. I'm just saying that's I think

98
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 2: what the naysayers would say that anyone who's been married

99
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,200
Speaker 2: that many times.

100
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,599
Speaker 3: And look, we're knocking, we're right behind her.

101
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,800
Speaker 2: So I'm not throwing stones in any way, I understand,

102
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,880
Speaker 2: but I think we get it from a different perspective,

103
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,919
Speaker 2: and that you can have the best of intentions and

104
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: you can actually believe that love is hard work, and

105
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,919
Speaker 2: that love is what comes after the infatuation. It's what

106
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,640
Speaker 2: comes after the commitment. But still, if you haven't found

107
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,720
Speaker 2: the right person, I applaud someone who says this isn't

108
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,599
Speaker 2: right for me. I thought it was in the moment,

109
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,680
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna keep looking for it.

110
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,320
Speaker 1: It doesn't a right person. That gets into the issue

111
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,799
Speaker 1: here with her is it's not a matter of who's

112
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 1: the right person. Are you the right person for me?

113
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,640
Speaker 1: Or I'm not the right person for you? And that's

114
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,120
Speaker 1: too often what we look at in the conversation is

115
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,240
Speaker 1: that something's wrong with the people I am picking and

116
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,880
Speaker 1: nothing is wrong with me. She seems a little reflective, correct.

117
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,760
Speaker 2: And I think that is one of the beautiful things

118
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,080
Speaker 2: that comes from experience that you gain and wisdom that

119
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:10,640
Speaker 2: you gain from having had some relationships that didn't work

120
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,400
Speaker 2: out the way you wanted them to. And you and

121
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,080
Speaker 2: I can speak to this directly. I really do believe that.

122
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,480
Speaker 2: But so much of what she said actually truly resonated

123
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,000
Speaker 2: with me. When Howard Stern asked you still believe in

124
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,120
Speaker 2: true love? She said, yes, I agree. Do you still

125
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:24,920
Speaker 2: believe in true love?

126
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,000
Speaker 1: See that's what that true right? That word is key.

127
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,960
Speaker 1: Do you believe in love? Do you believe in true love?

128
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,839
Speaker 1: True love feels very princess bridish to me. True love

129
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,839
Speaker 1: puts you immediately into this fantastical world of what love

130
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,159
Speaker 1: is supposed to that we've been told from story books

131
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,880
Speaker 1: is supposed to look like. And I think true love

132
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 1: is a is not. Yes, I believe in it, but

133
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,039
Speaker 1: nowhere close to the definitions of and given my whole life,

134
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,240
Speaker 1: my true love looks like sacrifice, My true life of

135
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:07,919
Speaker 1: looks like pain, it looks like h it looks like

136
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:13,640
Speaker 1: trial and error. Love is ugly and messy and hard

137
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,000
Speaker 1: as hell. And when you're still standing and you're still

138
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,720
Speaker 1: standing with that person, and you still like that person,

139
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: I have experienced true love. Now that's just other people's definition.

140
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,720
Speaker 1: Now what he was meaning, I think he was meaning

141
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,280
Speaker 1: it in the way that most people.

142
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 2: Do, don't they look Yeah, And he has a long marriage,

143
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,120
Speaker 2: so I mean he's experienced all of those ups and downs.

144
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,160
Speaker 2: And I love that he wished her that experience as well.

145
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,600
Speaker 2: And I think I think everyone looks at other people's

146
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 2: relationship through the lens of.

147
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,480
Speaker 3: Their relationships and their experience.

148
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,440
Speaker 2: And having had several of them now and you as well,

149
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,120
Speaker 2: I can now say that each one has taught me

150
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:02,679
Speaker 2: so many things about myself, about what where I still

151
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 2: needed to grow, and then also recognizing that it's important.

152
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,800
Speaker 3: And she talks.

153
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,080
Speaker 2: About this, to love yourself, to recognize what you need

154
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,120
Speaker 2: and a partner, And I think when I know, having

155
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,480
Speaker 2: rushed in early on and rushed in for lots of

156
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:23,480
Speaker 2: different reasons. Sometimes we don't consider what we need or

157
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,840
Speaker 2: what we actually want because we don't know ourselves, because

158
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 2: we haven't taken the time to love and invest and reflect.

159
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,120
Speaker 2: And she is talking about doing all of these things now.

160
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 2: And look, some people, my mom and dad have said this.

161
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,760
Speaker 2: They got lucky, right, They didn't know anything at eighteen,

162
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,720
Speaker 2: but they just so happened to And look, their marriage

163
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,320
Speaker 2: has been has had plenty of ups and downs. It

164
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,240
Speaker 2: hasn't No one has a marriage that's been easy or

165
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,760
Speaker 2: breezy or just full of rainbows and butterflies and unicorns.

166
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,880
Speaker 3: So yes, it's hard.

167
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,960
Speaker 2: But when you have the right person who you like

168
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 2: and you respect, that is what Those are the tooth

169
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,480
Speaker 2: that I did not know to invest in that those

170
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,880
Speaker 2: were actually the cornerstones.

171
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,840
Speaker 3: The foundation. Attraction is important.

172
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:12,440
Speaker 2: Yes, only initially, only initially agreed, because.

173
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,200
Speaker 1: See, people who you are wildly attracted to get ugly

174
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,400
Speaker 1: after two weeks once you get to know them. Four weeks,

175
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,760
Speaker 1: hell yeah, after four years, and ugliest individual you've ever seen,

176
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,000
Speaker 1: you like.

177
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,000
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly, So I think, I mean, it's taken some.

178
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,720
Speaker 3: Time, but what I have learned is man.

179
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,000
Speaker 2: If you like that person and you respect that person,

180
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,080
Speaker 2: that is the foundation. And I do think you do

181
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,480
Speaker 2: need to be attracted to that person, of course, but

182
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 2: more important because I think you can become attracted to

183
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,560
Speaker 2: somebody who you like and respect, yes, and you can

184
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,560
Speaker 2: be attracted to somebody you end up disliking and despising.

185
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,040
Speaker 2: So I think you know and the people are so duh.

186
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,520
Speaker 2: But okay, I learned it the hard way, and I

187
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,080
Speaker 2: see j Loo doing the same thing.

188
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,760
Speaker 1: Yes, but sometimes you do learn through trial and error.

189
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,319
Speaker 1: You have to let well, I say trial and er

190
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,719
Speaker 1: what was called experience And look, we make a lot

191
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,599
Speaker 1: of us. Make you do the best you can with

192
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,640
Speaker 1: the information you have, and maybe it works out, maybe

193
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:16,000
Speaker 1: it doesn't. Sometimes you hope for the best, and then

194
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,000
Speaker 1: other times you understand that hope shouldn't be a strategy

195
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,120
Speaker 1: after you learn a little more and go nope, I've

196
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,480
Speaker 1: seen this one before. I know not to do that.

197
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,319
Speaker 1: And that's what it is. It's just she's had to

198
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,120
Speaker 1: live it in such a public way. She continues to

199
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,560
Speaker 1: live in such a public way. And yes, people will

200
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,840
Speaker 1: bat their eyes or roll their eyes or whatever, but

201
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,560
Speaker 1: so many folks go through what she's going through in private.

202
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 1: This is very difficult stuff to learn about yourself, to

203
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:46,440
Speaker 1: go through terrible relationships sometimes to make those mistakes, to

204
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 1: see yourself. She has. Let's to your point. She made

205
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,240
Speaker 1: a movie about how in love. She was a documented

206
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,720
Speaker 1: two different movies essentially about a relationship that now she's

207
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 1: divorced from that game that's awful and she's having to

208
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,160
Speaker 1: go through it and still sitting there saying hell, yeah,

209
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,160
Speaker 1: I believe in true love. I love that power to

210
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:03,640
Speaker 1: your system.

211
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,640
Speaker 2: So and I also think that you know, I think,

212
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,440
Speaker 2: and I love. I don't think she's ever said this,

213
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,000
Speaker 2: and you and I would neither. None of the relationships

214
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 2: that got you to where you are today were mistakes

215
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,600
Speaker 2: because you learned who you were, what you didn't want,

216
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,920
Speaker 2: what you didn't like, and you took that with you

217
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 2: and it helped you grow. And so they're not mistakes.

218
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,319
Speaker 2: They're just a part of the journey. And I think

219
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,040
Speaker 2: that's important.

220
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,480
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of mistakes in my journey. So

221
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 1: I know what you're saying, but it's it's a lesson.

222
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 1: As long as you don't do that thing again, you

223
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,679
Speaker 1: can correct, you can say it's not a mistake as

224
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,599
Speaker 1: long as you don't do it again. The things that

225
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,480
Speaker 1: got j Lo and we talked about the thing that's

226
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,920
Speaker 1: making the most headlines ropes is when she was on

227
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,040
Speaker 1: wasn't just about believing in love? I thought it was interesting.

228
00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:00,959
Speaker 1: Do you think you've truly been loved? She immediate said no.

229
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:01,040
Speaker 2: No.

230
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 1: She expounded on that, and we'll tell you the whole quote.

231
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,120
Speaker 1: Do you think you've truly been loved? She's a fifty

232
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,679
Speaker 1: three fifty four years five, a five year old woman

233
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,120
Speaker 1: who's been married four times, and the answer to the

234
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,800
Speaker 1: question do you think you've truly been loved? Is no.

235
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 1: Now I think a lot. That might be surprising or

236
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:28,200
Speaker 1: shocking initially, but after I take a beat, certainly after

237
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,720
Speaker 1: I hear the rest of her answer, I go wow.

238
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:31,720
Speaker 1: I could see why she'd say.

239
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,120
Speaker 3: That, babe.

240
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,960
Speaker 2: It resonated with me immediately. And she's fifty six, by

241
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,160
Speaker 2: the way, I just looked it up. I mean, she

242
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 2: looks like she's thirty six, so it's hard to know

243
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:44,720
Speaker 2: how old she is. The woman is spectacular physically, she's gorgeous.

244
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,440
Speaker 2: And do you think you've truly been loved? Her answer

245
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:52,240
Speaker 2: was no. I actually felt emotional when I heard this.

246
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,400
Speaker 3: Because I get it.

247
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,560
Speaker 2: I think, especially when you're someone like j Lo and

248
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,680
Speaker 2: you look the way you look and you've had the

249
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,560
Speaker 2: success you've had, I have said this. I'm not comparing

250
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,120
Speaker 2: myself in any way to her, but I think I

251
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,080
Speaker 2: have said the same sentiment, where you feel like someone

252
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 2: has been in love with the idea of you, but

253
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,720
Speaker 2: that when they actually meet all of you, the messy

254
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,120
Speaker 2: parts of you, the ugly parts of you, the not

255
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,960
Speaker 2: so likable parts of you, when you don't feel like

256
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,840
Speaker 2: you've had that person, you haven't been truly loved. Because

257
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,200
Speaker 2: we're all not the best version of ourselves. We are messy,

258
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 2: we're a work in progress, and sometimes we're hard to love.

259
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:38,040
Speaker 2: And I thought that was a really honest, scary answer

260
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,520
Speaker 2: to give that really resonates with a lot of people.

261
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 1: You know. I'm looking her quote here and what she's

262
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 1: saying she wasn't love. She was talking about them not

263
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:56,400
Speaker 1: being capable. That was, and I'm trying to put that

264
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,000
Speaker 1: with your point, But she went farther in her answer

265
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:04,200
Speaker 1: and that she spoke of them not being capable of

266
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,160
Speaker 1: loving her. But then she took some responsibility for not

267
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,640
Speaker 1: loving herself and not knowing who she was, how do

268
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,200
Speaker 1: you balance that? How are you supposed to make sense of,

269
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 1: like to you what you just said when people have

270
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,520
Speaker 1: to love all of you and not in some of

271
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,440
Speaker 1: the parts that aren't so good. But then there's also

272
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 1: a responsibility that she seems to take, and some people,

273
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 1: through their own work, understand that some of the stuff

274
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: they're giving off. How would you expect somebody to love that?

275
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:33,160
Speaker 2: Right?

276
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 1: People say this is just who I am. You gotta

277
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 1: love who I am. It drives me crazy to hear that,

278
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,800
Speaker 1: because that's a suggestion that there's nothing about you could

279
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,040
Speaker 1: make you a better mate, Like there's nothing you should

280
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,560
Speaker 1: change about yourself or consider even about yourself that would

281
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,520
Speaker 1: make you a better partner in a relationship that gets problematic.

282
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,480
Speaker 3: That's a red flag for me.

283
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 2: If someone says this is just who I am, that

284
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 2: is implying or actually directly stating I am who I

285
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,720
Speaker 2: am and I'm not going to change. And I think

286
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 2: part of what I have learned through life is that

287
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 2: we have to change, or we need to change. We

288
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,640
Speaker 2: need to evolve. That's why we're here to grow, and

289
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 2: we grow when we learn. We grow when we're in pain,

290
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 2: we grow when things are uncomfortable, and it's on each

291
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 2: one of us as individuals to be introspective and to

292
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,480
Speaker 2: figure it out. What I took away from Jalo, which

293
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,960
Speaker 2: I appreciated. So her quote that's making a bunch of

294
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 2: headlines is what I learned. It's not that I'm not lovable,

295
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 2: it's that they're not capable. They don't have it in them.

296
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 2: They gave me what they had. They gave me all

297
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,280
Speaker 2: of it every time, all the rings, all the things

298
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,720
Speaker 2: I could ever want. The house is the rings, the marriage,

299
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,160
Speaker 2: all of that. The point being is she's recognizing, and

300
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 2: she talked about all the work she's done that we

301
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,200
Speaker 2: all have an individual responsibility to love ourselves, which gives

302
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 2: us the capability of loving other people because we understand

303
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,240
Speaker 2: our own flaws, our own weaknesses, and when we see

304
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 2: it in other people reflected, we can show compassion and empathy.

305
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 2: And we can on each one of us to give

306
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,720
Speaker 2: ourselves that compassion. We can't expect it from our partner,

307
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of expectations are placed on

308
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 2: our significant other. You need to love me no matter what. No,

309
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 2: we need to love ourselves no matter what. But to

310
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,440
Speaker 2: accept the fact that we're tough sometimes to love in

311
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 2: moments and you give each other grace. But that only

312
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 2: when both partners are in that space. It works when

313
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 2: one is and the other isn't. It doesn't period.

314
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 1: It's hard. I was very surprised to hear it's certainly possible,

315
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 1: because I was late thirties, early forties before I figured

316
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of stuff out about myself and what

317
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 1: I need to do differently. But she's been through this much.

318
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 1: To hear her, like you said, it's fifty six, you

319
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 1: just said to have the now four marriages under her belt,

320
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 1: I mean how many there were a couple engagements as well.

321
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 1: I mean she was engaged to a Rod I think

322
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:50,400
Speaker 1: for a little.

323
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 2: Bit as for a while she was engaged and Ben

324
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 2: she was engaged too before or you know, however many

325
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 2: twenty years ago.

326
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 1: I forgot about that one. Actually, to hear her at

327
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 1: fifty six, I think was surprising but also encouraging for

328
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 1: her to say, yeah, at this age and all this

329
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 1: life I've lived, I just recognized there was more to

330
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: be done and for me to actually figure out. I

331
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,400
Speaker 1: applaud that you also look at where along the way

332
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 1: were those lessons missed and the just sometimes it happens,

333
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 1: it happens later, and that is okay. But that was

334
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 1: a part I certainly sat up on and related to

335
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,360
Speaker 1: and applauded that. I mean, you can't think old dog

336
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,440
Speaker 1: nu tricks. I'm saying she's old. I'm what I'm saying,

337
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:37,919
Speaker 1: she's well set in her ways at fifty plus. To

338
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,680
Speaker 1: hear her say, yeah, there's some work to be done,

339
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,480
Speaker 1: says she threw everything at it, therapists and men of

340
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 1: the enclergymen and all the stuff to figure out what

341
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 1: is going on.

342
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 2: I think she said she had an individual therapist, a

343
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 2: couple's therapists, a spiritual advisor, a health coach, like I mean,

344
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 2: and I get that, like trying to seek the answers,

345
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 2: but they're they're all within.

346
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 1: But it was another quote that she gave folks in

347
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,360
Speaker 1: which she said it was the best thing in her

348
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 1: life that has ever and could have happened to her.

349
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,439
Speaker 1: Would you believe what it is? You might have guessed already.

350
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:29,959
Speaker 2: Stay here, continuing now on our conversation about j Lowe

351
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 2: opening up to Howard Stern in a real and I

352
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 2: really think vulnerable and inspirational way. It certainly spoke to

353
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,639
Speaker 2: me and I think it probably spoke to a lot

354
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 2: of folks. Yes, there are the headlines and the clickbait

355
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 2: about it seemed as though she was saying that her

356
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 2: husbands didn't know or weren't capable of loving her.

357
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,439
Speaker 3: It's so much deeper than that.

358
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,880
Speaker 2: You know. We see the headlines and we think, oh, wow,

359
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 2: she's blaming them.

360
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 3: No she's not.

361
00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: She took total responsibility in her role in all of

362
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 2: these relationships, and I just thought it was so interesting

363
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: for anybody who is in between relationships, coming out of one,

364
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 2: going into one. There are lessons to be learned from

365
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: anyone who has walked life in the way she has

366
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 2: in a public way, but is willing to be introspective

367
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 2: and willing to take a look at her role and everything.

368
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 2: And when she said, because we were so personally devastated, teaj,

369
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,639
Speaker 2: you made no bones about this. When she and Ben

370
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 2: got divorced, we just kept hoping that it was temporary,

371
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 2: that maybe they just had a falling out and they

372
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 2: were going to come back together, because it just seemed

373
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,719
Speaker 2: like such an incredible love story twenty years in the making.

374
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,679
Speaker 2: But she said, when I got divorced this last time,

375
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 2: it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

376
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 2: Most people would think it's the opposite. But because she

377
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 2: was at her lowest, and again the movies that were out,

378
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 2: the pressure of them to finally live out their fairy

379
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 2: tale dreams is overwhelming.

380
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 3: It seemed devastating.

381
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 2: But she said because of that, it made she said,

382
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 2: it really made me journey into and this is what

383
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: she said. I had a religious coach, a therapist, a

384
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 2: couple's therapist, an individual therapist.

385
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 3: I had a coach to understand addiction.

386
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 2: I had everything, and I was like, I'm going to

387
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,479
Speaker 2: figure this shit out if it kills me. When you

388
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 2: hit rock bottom, you are forced to look inward.

389
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 3: Period.

390
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 1: Maybe that's where maybe this was the empathus that finally

391
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 1: got her to do that work she's talking about. And

392
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: she sounded as passionate and sincere and comfortable and all

393
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: she's talking about. Look, and we know she's a good

394
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 1: she's good with press. She's had everything thrown at her,

395
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 1: she knows all the tricks. But she looked different and

396
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 1: sounded different with Howard Starn that she would have on

397
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 1: a broadcast news morning show. She was different. I won't

398
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: say she's completely off guard, but this was an in

399
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 1: depth interview. I learned a little bit. I don't know

400
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: how much about her, but I certainly learned about where

401
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 1: she is now, and then a lot of it can

402
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: relate to. But I'm hopeful for and room for for

403
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 1: the next thing and whoever she ends up dating.

404
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,880
Speaker 2: Next, I do too, And I do think that when

405
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 2: you go through shit in life, you either are buried

406
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,719
Speaker 2: by it or you rise up a better version of yourself.

407
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 2: And it does seem like she is in the ladder

408
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,400
Speaker 2: of the two, and I appreciated when she talked about

409
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 2: the former relationship she was in. She said, I think

410
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 2: they all saw and wanted to see me, and they

411
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 2: got that glimpse and then their own version of that

412
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: for them is what God in the way. I think

413
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,439
Speaker 2: we do have expectations that we place on the people

414
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 2: we're with, and especially if you're someone like j Lo,

415
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 2: where you think you have, wow, I'm dating this person

416
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 2: or I'm married to this person who is X, and

417
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: you let that be the expectation. And if it doesn't

418
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 2: rise up to that, or if something departs from what

419
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 2: you think it should be out, or you're offended or

420
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 2: you're upset. And I really get that. I understand what

421
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 2: she's saying. That we all place expectations of what we

422
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 2: think another person should be like, and if they don't

423
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: meet them, we're angry, we're upset, and it causes friction

424
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 2: and problems. And the point is if you can actually

425
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 2: be in tune with yourself and recognize why you feel

426
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 2: upset or why you're upset what someone else said, it's

427
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 2: all about at the end of the day, it's about

428
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,959
Speaker 2: how you feel about yourself and it's projected onto other people.

429
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 1: Well, look, JL, maybe she got to figure it out

430
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: better late than other never and do you think so?

431
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,199
Speaker 1: Just to but it's just an interesting question then, I

432
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 1: guess if all of you ask yourselves that question, I'm

433
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 1: curious how you would answer it. Do you think you've

434
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: truly been loved? And with that, folks, always appreciate you

435
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: hanging with us for a little bit on this Friday

436
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 1: going into the weekend. I hope this question didn't start

437
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: fights in the house for the weekend, but I always

438
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 1: appreciate you hanging with aus. I'm TJ home to behalf

439
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,479
Speaker 1: of my partner Amy Roback will talk to us soon.