Speaker 1: Why does it have to be five o'clock somewhere? I
Speaker 1: just want to know, why can't it be it's nine
Speaker 1: am somewhere I'm having a cocktail. I don't understand. People
Speaker 1: in Asia eat salmon for breakfast. They eat me so soup,
Speaker 1: they eate fried rice. Like sometimes I like pizza for breakfast.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I wake up and I'll want like chicken salad
Speaker 1: for breakfast. Why because it's my body, it's my choice.
Speaker 1: I'm a grown woman. And who the funk said that
Speaker 1: eggs have to be for breakfast and that steak is
Speaker 1: not and the pizza can only happen after a sertain hour,
Speaker 1: But like after am, you're legal to eat lunch. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I don't understand why on vacation, I look around,
Speaker 1: I'm like, huh, okay, it's takacock. Those people are drinking cocktails.
Speaker 1: I like it, but only on vacation. Like why why
Speaker 1: on vacation? I know, because you're not working, But like
Speaker 1: on Saturdays, I don't see people, uh in Connecticut just
Speaker 1: at ten o'clock in morning just blending up pina coladas
Speaker 1: instead of smoothies. And I don't I don't understand. Why
Speaker 1: not if you're not working. It's just a fucking smoothie
Speaker 1: with no alcohol with with a sorry. It's just a
Speaker 1: fucking smoothie at alcohol. So like I don't. I was
Speaker 1: on vacation, I was thinking, I want to have a
Speaker 1: margarite at any time I want. I'm a grown woman
Speaker 1: who pays my own bills. Like, I'm gonna have a
Speaker 1: margarite at any time. It doesn't have to be any
Speaker 1: any clock, anywhere. It could be any time, nine o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning, wake up at breakfast, May I have
Speaker 1: an egg white for Tata and a margarita was salt, please,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Right at dinner, I'd like oatmeal
Speaker 1: and a Voka martini. Like, let's just do what we want.
Speaker 1: I just do not understand who decided alcohol was earlier.
Speaker 1: And by the way, drinking until the wee hours of
Speaker 1: the morning and the night, like drinking until two three am,
Speaker 1: that's how to feel like ship the next day, drinking
Speaker 1: all day until five o'clock, having a gorgeous dinner and
Speaker 1: going to sleep like a baby. That sounds like a
Speaker 1: very healthy life style in comparison. So I just think
Speaker 1: we're all upside down. Let's start. Here's a good idea.
Speaker 1: Let's start drinking at nine o'clock and quote unquote pregame,
Speaker 1: Let's go out to dinner and let's drink till three
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning, wake up and fucking feeling like
Speaker 1: we want to kill ourselves. Or let's wake up at
Speaker 1: nine in the morning, have some eggs and bacon, start
Speaker 1: drinking cocktails and clothes shop at five o'clock. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: five o'clock somewhere, so let's stop drinking. Let's have a
Speaker 1: nice night and go to bed. I don't know. They
Speaker 1: go one's fucking upside down, So I think this will
Speaker 1: get me into trouble. I can't wait. The Hamptons are
Speaker 1: made up of a couple of factions. Locals out there,
Speaker 1: they call him bonnos. It has something to deal with
Speaker 1: like part of the Hampton's or like sabonic or they
Speaker 1: call them bonnos. Okay, that's like a derogatory word for
Speaker 1: like locals, you know what I mean. That's but they
Speaker 1: all say it, and I'm sure I'm gonna be canceled
Speaker 1: by the bonnox. But they all say like it's very bonnet,
Speaker 1: like it's a bonnic garage sale. Okay, locals very cool.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of this faction. These are a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends. This is a good cruel cool.
Speaker 1: These are like fisherman people that go you know, dig clams,
Speaker 1: that teach surfing, that lived there all year, that run restaurants.
Speaker 1: These are the locals. Okay, there's a T shirt that
Speaker 1: Aviator Nation made called Locals Only. The locals would never
Speaker 1: wear the fucking Locals only eighty eight dollar eight eight
Speaker 1: Nation Nation t shirt Only a douche bag that wants
Speaker 1: to be a local and spend time in the Hampton's
Speaker 1: more than like one day before Memorial Day and one
Speaker 1: day after Labor Day only those people would dare to
Speaker 1: wear Locals Only Aviator Nation Teacher T shirt. I digress.
Speaker 1: So Hamptons is made up of multiple groups, Locals, Wasps,
Speaker 1: and Jews, and the Wasps and Jews are equally as
Speaker 1: whole Ish. And I'm going to explain why Wasps and Jews. No,
Speaker 1: I'm Jewish, my mother converted for my father, my uncle
Speaker 1: is a Rabbi. I just am not a practicing Geo.
Speaker 1: I'm culturally a Jew, and I grew up with Wasps
Speaker 1: and Jews. So I'm offending on both sides of this
Speaker 1: but I have a Jewish last name, so I'm going
Speaker 1: to take the Jewish ass whole card. And I'm more
Speaker 1: of a Jewish asshole than a waspy asshole. And as
Speaker 1: my ex fiance said, when his mother asked if I
Speaker 1: was Jewish, he said, well, she complains a lot, so
Speaker 1: technically I guess I'm Jewish. But I went to Catholic
Speaker 1: school and was baptized and had a communion because my
Speaker 1: stepfather was Christian, so I really i've I went to St.
Speaker 1: Agnes six and seventh grade. I went to Old Westbury
Speaker 1: School the Holy Child eighth grade, so I really can
Speaker 1: comment on all of this. But the Jews come out
Speaker 1: to the Hamptons and go to expensive lobster salad for
Speaker 1: a hundred dollars a container, proprietors and fucking buy out
Speaker 1: the place, the whole entire place, on Friday and then
Speaker 1: have their housekeepers throw it out on Sunday. That summarizes
Speaker 1: the Jews in the Hamptons. Okay, the Jews are are
Speaker 1: like all over the fucking reservations at the hottest restaurants,
Speaker 1: like they're not playing around. They need the rest resid ovations.
Speaker 1: The Wasps are just living in like a different and
Speaker 1: the Jews are like plastic surgery and don't seem like
Speaker 1: they should be out in the Hamptons because they're so
Speaker 1: pulled and tucked and the star wars bar and like
Speaker 1: it's so such a juxtaposition because the Hamptons is like
Speaker 1: farm and beach and like free and it's the most
Speaker 1: beautiful place that like assholes have ruined myself, I guess
Speaker 1: included um. But the the assholes have sort of ruined
Speaker 1: the Hamptons, but the Hampton's wants it because they're getting
Speaker 1: the business, and the locals need the Hampton's assholes business
Speaker 1: in the summer to make the world go round. So
Speaker 1: that's that asshole and the locals truth let r and assholes.
Speaker 1: They could just be a little angry because of the
Speaker 1: Jews and the wasps that come in the summer and
Speaker 1: fucking override this place. Okay, And it's more summer than
Speaker 1: other places. The Hamptons is more year around now, which
Speaker 1: is great, but there are other places like the Cape,
Speaker 1: which is more year round. Nantucket is a different version
Speaker 1: of person that's like just you know, a very white,
Speaker 1: wealthy place, just different. I could talk about that after
Speaker 1: I go to Nantucket but I alread know it. But
Speaker 1: we're talking about the Hampton's assholes. Now. It's different, different
Speaker 1: different assholes are in different vacation places. But the wasps
Speaker 1: are mostly in South Hampton, some are in East etcetera.
Speaker 1: The wasps are more concerned with the alcohol of the
Speaker 1: Hampton's than the food. And there's just like a lot
Speaker 1: of like a lot of polo, a lot of tennis,
Speaker 1: a lot of like Lilly Pulitzer, who's a wonderful person
Speaker 1: and designer who I owned some of the pieces because
Speaker 1: I'm half an asshole too. But the waspy assholes are
Speaker 1: about the tennis, and you know, they're from old money
Speaker 1: and they're from like it's a different level in South Hampton,
Speaker 1: and they're like real old school rich and have those
Speaker 1: original Hampton's names. They don't have the fuck you Jewish
Speaker 1: asshole money. They don't. They're not the billionaires the billionaires
Speaker 1: of the Jewish assholes, but they have a lot of
Speaker 1: money and it's like more you know, really old money names.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a whole mixed bag. But there are
Speaker 1: just two types of assholes and they're can earned with
Speaker 1: very different things, but they do cohabitate and that's what
Speaker 1: happens in the summer in the Hampton's just a bunch
Speaker 1: of assholes. And then there are like Coachella, like I'm
Speaker 1: wearing fringe Montalk assholes. These are people that like are
Speaker 1: only in the Hampton's to go to Montalk and do
Speaker 1: like Coachella, burning man like like hats that are like
Speaker 1: I don't know why they're felt because it feels wintry,
Speaker 1: but they're felt and they have like a little feather
Speaker 1: in the side. And these are young people who are
Speaker 1: into music and really free as a burden natural, but
Speaker 1: they'll pay twenty five dollars a glass of rose and Montalk.
Speaker 1: They have their own faux spiritual bag of bullshit. It's
Speaker 1: just a different bag of bullshit there. You know, rich
Speaker 1: people that pretend they're sort of living off the land,
Speaker 1: listening to Montalk music and super earthy and at the
Speaker 1: Surflage and you know, just being very local at Rushmeier's
Speaker 1: and you know, just just just don't want anything to
Speaker 1: do with the rich Jews that go to Bill Bouquet
Speaker 1: and pay forty dollars for a side of argola or
Speaker 1: the wah supposed to go to that think it's the
Speaker 1: Meadow Club and where Lily Peeltzer and really do hang
Speaker 1: out on their own streets. So the Jews zone, the
Speaker 1: Jews zone, the Jews zone each East Hampton, that's their turf.
Speaker 1: It really is. You can you could deal your drugs
Speaker 1: on other turf, but like the Jews only Stampton. The
Speaker 1: Wasps owned Southampton. Bridge Hampton is like a hybrid. Sag
Speaker 1: Harbor used to be more like charming and intimate and
Speaker 1: some some Wasps go there, but like the Jews took
Speaker 1: that over to They fucking took that ship right over
Speaker 1: and um Fox spiritual musically inclined, wealthy hedge fund surfers,
Speaker 1: they migrated to Montalk. So that's basically break. And then
Speaker 1: there's like a there's some people in West Hampton and
Speaker 1: Quag which, um it's just a different, it's a different,
Speaker 1: it's not you can't really you can't really say. I
Speaker 1: think maybe more Italians in West Hampton, but I don't know,
Speaker 1: not an expert. And Quags like sort of a subtle
Speaker 1: purgatory hybrid Hampton that is probably more year round, such
Speaker 1: as the Black