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Speaker 1: Why does it have to be five o'clock somewhere? I

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Speaker 1: just want to know, why can't it be it's nine

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Speaker 1: am somewhere I'm having a cocktail. I don't understand. People

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Speaker 1: in Asia eat salmon for breakfast. They eat me so soup,

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Speaker 1: they eate fried rice. Like sometimes I like pizza for breakfast.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I wake up and I'll want like chicken salad

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Speaker 1: for breakfast. Why because it's my body, it's my choice.

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Speaker 1: I'm a grown woman. And who the funk said that

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Speaker 1: eggs have to be for breakfast and that steak is

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Speaker 1: not and the pizza can only happen after a sertain hour,

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Speaker 1: But like after am, you're legal to eat lunch. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I don't understand why on vacation, I look around,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, huh, okay, it's takacock. Those people are drinking cocktails.

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Speaker 1: I like it, but only on vacation. Like why why

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Speaker 1: on vacation? I know, because you're not working, But like

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Speaker 1: on Saturdays, I don't see people, uh in Connecticut just

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Speaker 1: at ten o'clock in morning just blending up pina coladas

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Speaker 1: instead of smoothies. And I don't I don't understand. Why

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Speaker 1: not if you're not working. It's just a fucking smoothie

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Speaker 1: with no alcohol with with a sorry. It's just a

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Speaker 1: fucking smoothie at alcohol. So like I don't. I was

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Speaker 1: on vacation, I was thinking, I want to have a

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Speaker 1: margarite at any time I want. I'm a grown woman

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Speaker 1: who pays my own bills. Like, I'm gonna have a

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Speaker 1: margarite at any time. It doesn't have to be any

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Speaker 1: any clock, anywhere. It could be any time, nine o'clock

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Speaker 1: in the morning, wake up at breakfast, May I have

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Speaker 1: an egg white for Tata and a margarita was salt, please,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. Right at dinner, I'd like oatmeal

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Speaker 1: and a Voka martini. Like, let's just do what we want.

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Speaker 1: I just do not understand who decided alcohol was earlier.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, drinking until the wee hours of

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Speaker 1: the morning and the night, like drinking until two three am,

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Speaker 1: that's how to feel like ship the next day, drinking

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Speaker 1: all day until five o'clock, having a gorgeous dinner and

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Speaker 1: going to sleep like a baby. That sounds like a

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Speaker 1: very healthy life style in comparison. So I just think

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Speaker 1: we're all upside down. Let's start. Here's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Let's start drinking at nine o'clock and quote unquote pregame,

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Speaker 1: Let's go out to dinner and let's drink till three

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Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning, wake up and fucking feeling like

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Speaker 1: we want to kill ourselves. Or let's wake up at

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Speaker 1: nine in the morning, have some eggs and bacon, start

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Speaker 1: drinking cocktails and clothes shop at five o'clock. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: five o'clock somewhere, so let's stop drinking. Let's have a

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Speaker 1: nice night and go to bed. I don't know. They

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Speaker 1: go one's fucking upside down, So I think this will

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Speaker 1: get me into trouble. I can't wait. The Hamptons are

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Speaker 1: made up of a couple of factions. Locals out there,

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Speaker 1: they call him bonnos. It has something to deal with

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Speaker 1: like part of the Hampton's or like sabonic or they

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Speaker 1: call them bonnos. Okay, that's like a derogatory word for

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Speaker 1: like locals, you know what I mean. That's but they

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Speaker 1: all say it, and I'm sure I'm gonna be canceled

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Speaker 1: by the bonnox. But they all say like it's very bonnet,

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Speaker 1: like it's a bonnic garage sale. Okay, locals very cool.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of this faction. These are a

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Speaker 1: lot of my friends. This is a good cruel cool.

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Speaker 1: These are like fisherman people that go you know, dig clams,

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Speaker 1: that teach surfing, that lived there all year, that run restaurants.

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Speaker 1: These are the locals. Okay, there's a T shirt that

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Speaker 1: Aviator Nation made called Locals Only. The locals would never

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Speaker 1: wear the fucking Locals only eighty eight dollar eight eight

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Speaker 1: Nation Nation t shirt Only a douche bag that wants

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Speaker 1: to be a local and spend time in the Hampton's

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Speaker 1: more than like one day before Memorial Day and one

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Speaker 1: day after Labor Day only those people would dare to

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Speaker 1: wear Locals Only Aviator Nation Teacher T shirt. I digress.

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Speaker 1: So Hamptons is made up of multiple groups, Locals, Wasps,

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Speaker 1: and Jews, and the Wasps and Jews are equally as

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Speaker 1: whole Ish. And I'm going to explain why Wasps and Jews. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm Jewish, my mother converted for my father, my uncle

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Speaker 1: is a Rabbi. I just am not a practicing Geo.

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Speaker 1: I'm culturally a Jew, and I grew up with Wasps

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Speaker 1: and Jews. So I'm offending on both sides of this

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Speaker 1: but I have a Jewish last name, so I'm going

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Speaker 1: to take the Jewish ass whole card. And I'm more

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Speaker 1: of a Jewish asshole than a waspy asshole. And as

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Speaker 1: my ex fiance said, when his mother asked if I

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Speaker 1: was Jewish, he said, well, she complains a lot, so

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Speaker 1: technically I guess I'm Jewish. But I went to Catholic

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Speaker 1: school and was baptized and had a communion because my

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Speaker 1: stepfather was Christian, so I really i've I went to St.

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Speaker 1: Agnes six and seventh grade. I went to Old Westbury

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Speaker 1: School the Holy Child eighth grade, so I really can

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Speaker 1: comment on all of this. But the Jews come out

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Speaker 1: to the Hamptons and go to expensive lobster salad for

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Speaker 1: a hundred dollars a container, proprietors and fucking buy out

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Speaker 1: the place, the whole entire place, on Friday and then

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Speaker 1: have their housekeepers throw it out on Sunday. That summarizes

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Speaker 1: the Jews in the Hamptons. Okay, the Jews are are

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Speaker 1: like all over the fucking reservations at the hottest restaurants,

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Speaker 1: like they're not playing around. They need the rest resid ovations.

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Speaker 1: The Wasps are just living in like a different and

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Speaker 1: the Jews are like plastic surgery and don't seem like

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Speaker 1: they should be out in the Hamptons because they're so

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Speaker 1: pulled and tucked and the star wars bar and like

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Speaker 1: it's so such a juxtaposition because the Hamptons is like

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Speaker 1: farm and beach and like free and it's the most

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Speaker 1: beautiful place that like assholes have ruined myself, I guess

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Speaker 1: included um. But the the assholes have sort of ruined

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Speaker 1: the Hamptons, but the Hampton's wants it because they're getting

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Speaker 1: the business, and the locals need the Hampton's assholes business

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Speaker 1: in the summer to make the world go round. So

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Speaker 1: that's that asshole and the locals truth let r and assholes.

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Speaker 1: They could just be a little angry because of the

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Speaker 1: Jews and the wasps that come in the summer and

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Speaker 1: fucking override this place. Okay, And it's more summer than

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Speaker 1: other places. The Hamptons is more year around now, which

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Speaker 1: is great, but there are other places like the Cape,

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Speaker 1: which is more year round. Nantucket is a different version

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Speaker 1: of person that's like just you know, a very white,

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Speaker 1: wealthy place, just different. I could talk about that after

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Speaker 1: I go to Nantucket but I alread know it. But

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Speaker 1: we're talking about the Hampton's assholes. Now. It's different, different

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Speaker 1: different assholes are in different vacation places. But the wasps

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Speaker 1: are mostly in South Hampton, some are in East etcetera.

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Speaker 1: The wasps are more concerned with the alcohol of the

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Speaker 1: Hampton's than the food. And there's just like a lot

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Speaker 1: of like a lot of polo, a lot of tennis,

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Speaker 1: a lot of like Lilly Pulitzer, who's a wonderful person

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Speaker 1: and designer who I owned some of the pieces because

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Speaker 1: I'm half an asshole too. But the waspy assholes are

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Speaker 1: about the tennis, and you know, they're from old money

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Speaker 1: and they're from like it's a different level in South Hampton,

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Speaker 1: and they're like real old school rich and have those

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Speaker 1: original Hampton's names. They don't have the fuck you Jewish

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Speaker 1: asshole money. They don't. They're not the billionaires the billionaires

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Speaker 1: of the Jewish assholes, but they have a lot of

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Speaker 1: money and it's like more you know, really old money names.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's a whole mixed bag. But there are

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Speaker 1: just two types of assholes and they're can earned with

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Speaker 1: very different things, but they do cohabitate and that's what

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Speaker 1: happens in the summer in the Hampton's just a bunch

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Speaker 1: of assholes. And then there are like Coachella, like I'm

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Speaker 1: wearing fringe Montalk assholes. These are people that like are

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Speaker 1: only in the Hampton's to go to Montalk and do

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Speaker 1: like Coachella, burning man like like hats that are like

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Speaker 1: I don't know why they're felt because it feels wintry,

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Speaker 1: but they're felt and they have like a little feather

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Speaker 1: in the side. And these are young people who are

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Speaker 1: into music and really free as a burden natural, but

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Speaker 1: they'll pay twenty five dollars a glass of rose and Montalk.

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Speaker 1: They have their own faux spiritual bag of bullshit. It's

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Speaker 1: just a different bag of bullshit there. You know, rich

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Speaker 1: people that pretend they're sort of living off the land,

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Speaker 1: listening to Montalk music and super earthy and at the

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Speaker 1: Surflage and you know, just being very local at Rushmeier's

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Speaker 1: and you know, just just just don't want anything to

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Speaker 1: do with the rich Jews that go to Bill Bouquet

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Speaker 1: and pay forty dollars for a side of argola or

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Speaker 1: the wah supposed to go to that think it's the

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Speaker 1: Meadow Club and where Lily Peeltzer and really do hang

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Speaker 1: out on their own streets. So the Jews zone, the

155
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Speaker 1: Jews zone, the Jews zone each East Hampton, that's their turf.

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Speaker 1: It really is. You can you could deal your drugs

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Speaker 1: on other turf, but like the Jews only Stampton. The

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Speaker 1: Wasps owned Southampton. Bridge Hampton is like a hybrid. Sag

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Speaker 1: Harbor used to be more like charming and intimate and

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Speaker 1: some some Wasps go there, but like the Jews took

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Speaker 1: that over to They fucking took that ship right over

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Speaker 1: and um Fox spiritual musically inclined, wealthy hedge fund surfers,

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Speaker 1: they migrated to Montalk. So that's basically break. And then

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Speaker 1: there's like a there's some people in West Hampton and

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Speaker 1: Quag which, um it's just a different, it's a different,

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Speaker 1: it's not you can't really you can't really say. I

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Speaker 1: think maybe more Italians in West Hampton, but I don't know,

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Speaker 1: not an expert. And Quags like sort of a subtle

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Speaker 1: purgatory hybrid Hampton that is probably more year round, such

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Speaker 1: as the Black