Speaker 1: Quest Love Show is a production of iHeartRadio. Hey What's up, Everybody?
Speaker 2: Welcome to The Questlove Show, a new era and a
Speaker 2: format for QLs. After close to a decade of award
Speaker 2: winning podcast You Know and Love, I'm back with a
Speaker 2: new idea after a lengthy hiatus having conversations with people
Speaker 2: who always wanted to get to know on a deeper level.
Speaker 2: This week I spoke with Chelsea Handler virtually. She was
Speaker 2: at home in Los Angeles and I was in my
Speaker 2: office at thirty Rock in New York City, the Red Room.
Speaker 2: We know Chelsea as a comedian, television host, and a
Speaker 2: seven time New York Times bestselling author, with her latest book,
Speaker 2: I'll Have What She's Having out this year. Chelsea is
Speaker 2: also part of the iHeart Podcast family.
Speaker 1: With her Dear Chelsea Show.
Speaker 2: This year, you can catch Chelsea Handler on her High
Speaker 2: and Mighty tour along with her Las Vegas residency at
Speaker 2: the Cosmopolity.
Speaker 1: I was really happy to have her.
Speaker 2: On the sho as the launch of this QLs two
Speaker 2: pointoero period.
Speaker 1: For me.
Speaker 2: This conversation you're gonna hear why Chelsea is present. She
Speaker 2: lives in the moment, She loves vacations, She also prides
Speaker 2: herself as a listener, which she was with some of
Speaker 2: my questions. Chelsea is raw and unfiltered, and in this
Speaker 2: conversation we discussed perhaps traveling together. Listening to Chelsea talk
Speaker 2: about her favorite places. You know, sounds fun, liberating, and
Speaker 2: grateful her work ethic. Like me, she wears many hats,
Speaker 2: and this one was for me and Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Like a few QLs guests in the past, she was
Speaker 1: opening to random questions and jumping around a little bit.
Speaker 2: So I hope you liked this new approach for QLs
Speaker 2: and let's get to it all right, enjoy.
Speaker 1: Hey, Chelse, welcome to the quest Left Show. How are
Speaker 1: you today? How's it going?
Speaker 3: I'm good. I like the looks of where you are.
Speaker 4: It looks like it is a marijuana infuse dark room.
Speaker 1: I am so not that person.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So this is what I want to know.
Speaker 2: What time did you wake up this morning?
Speaker 3: Six twelve am?
Speaker 1: Is that typically where your body clock sets off? Or yeah?
Speaker 4: Unfortunately I kind of would prefer to sleep a little
Speaker 4: bit later, but like, I kind of need a good
Speaker 4: two to three hours before things get going.
Speaker 3: Just to decuntify.
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean like I'm a bitch
Speaker 4: and I have to wake up.
Speaker 3: I write in my gratitude journal that's now on my phone.
Speaker 4: So that's a lot easier than writing because I've lost
Speaker 4: the I've lost the aptitude.
Speaker 3: For writing or the design. It hurts. So I do
Speaker 3: my little gratitude.
Speaker 4: I say everything I'm grateful for, even if you know
Speaker 4: I'm not feeling great.
Speaker 3: Then I meditate for twenty minutes.
Speaker 4: I play with my dog, I let him out, and
Speaker 4: I just slowly.
Speaker 3: Come to you know what I mean. I need a
Speaker 3: good two to three hour lead time to start. I
Speaker 3: had everyone else to start my day.
Speaker 4: So yes, wherever I am in the world, typically I
Speaker 4: wake up pretty early.
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's what your first fifteen minutes. But what
Speaker 2: I want to know.
Speaker 1: Is, what was the last half hour of your last night,
Speaker 1: of your day? Last night? What is the last half hour?
Speaker 3: Huh? Last half hour?
Speaker 4: I went to this tech conference or like this kind
Speaker 4: of tech gathering. So I came home from that pretty early.
Speaker 4: I was home by like nine p thirty. I came
Speaker 4: home from that, I got into bed, I put on
Speaker 4: Charlie Sheen's documentary and then that's like background noise. So
Speaker 4: I'm not really watching it, but I just kind of
Speaker 4: liked the TV to lull me into sleep. And then
Speaker 4: while that's happening, I'm checking my phone, returning my emails.
Speaker 4: I'm doing a big stand up tour next year, so
Speaker 4: I looked at my ticket accounts because it just went
Speaker 4: on sale, so I peruse that.
Speaker 3: Then I looked.
Speaker 4: At my emails, look at my day tomorrow, and then
Speaker 4: I just put my eye shades on. I put my
Speaker 4: rain machine on so that I have the thunderstorm going,
Speaker 4: and then Charlie Sheen, and then usually about like ten
Speaker 4: minutes of whatever background TV I have on. After I
Speaker 4: put my eye shades on, I turn off, and then
Speaker 4: I'm usually down.
Speaker 1: Okay, I was going to ask, do you sleep with
Speaker 1: the TV on or off?
Speaker 3: So off off, but I fall asleep with it on.
Speaker 4: I find it helpful to fall asleep, And I know
Speaker 4: that's not Everyone will say that's a bad but I
Speaker 4: don't really give a shit. I'm fifty years old. I
Speaker 4: know what's best for me.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 2: During the uh what I'll say in air quotes the
Speaker 2: first cycle, I used to always sleep to the news,
Speaker 2: just to make sure that we are all in one piece.
Speaker 1: The next morning, right right.
Speaker 2: But then the more I started studying about how the
Speaker 2: brain works and how the subconscious works, I realized that
Speaker 2: sleeping the doom and gloom as I was sleeping was
Speaker 2: making my day worse. So I actually started maybe turning
Speaker 2: off the television maybe in yeah, three years ago.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, in general, it's probably a good privent,
Speaker 4: like not to watch the news at all. I mean,
Speaker 4: there's really nothing that we're gaining from watching that. Listening
Speaker 4: to a podcast, a political podcast, I find is much
Speaker 4: less damaging, especially while you're out and driving.
Speaker 3: There's something about.
Speaker 4: Driving and listening to the news that is less damaging
Speaker 4: to your system than actually just sitting on your couch
Speaker 4: and watching the news.
Speaker 2: So the way that I take an information, for instance,
Speaker 2: like if the Roots have a difficult song to master,
Speaker 2: or if I have to do something that requires like memory,
Speaker 2: I'll actually sleep to that loop, you know, like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: when you're in your sleepy, tired, THETA state, that's where
Speaker 2: you retain. But I also believe that when you're driving,
Speaker 2: that's the equivalent of sleeping, because you're still in your
Speaker 2: subconscious state even though you're.
Speaker 1: Aware in driving.
Speaker 2: But I tend to read a lot of audiobooks and
Speaker 2: listen to podcasts while driving because I'll retain the information better.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but you know I love driving.
Speaker 3: I love driving.
Speaker 1: That is like my live in California.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I live in LA. So there's a lot of
Speaker 3: traffic here and that's the lamee.
Speaker 4: But it's so nice to know when I can leave
Speaker 4: somewhere and it's like a forty five minute drive, not
Speaker 4: sitting in traffic, but an actual forty five minute drive
Speaker 4: Like that, I can go up to maulhalland and look
Speaker 4: at the views and have a long ride with myself,
Speaker 4: Like that's my kind of that's my vibe.
Speaker 2: People are often shocked that when I get to LA,
Speaker 2: I want to drive myself. For me, especially you know,
Speaker 2: when I'm testing music, Like I whenever an album was complete,
Speaker 2: I would go up the Pacific Coast Highway and test
Speaker 2: the material because for me, if it works on that drive,
Speaker 2: then it works elsewhere. So it's it's a therapeutic thing
Speaker 2: for me. But I never heard a person that lives
Speaker 2: in California.
Speaker 1: Like I thought I was the only one.
Speaker 2: People look at me like, wait, you like to drive,
Speaker 2: And I thought I was the only one so I'm
Speaker 2: glad to know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I prefer I don'tfer I like, if I'm in
Speaker 4: New York City, I prefer to be driven.
Speaker 3: If I'm in LA, I prefer to drive.
Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Okay, So how old were you when you realize you
Speaker 2: had a gift? Be it charisma or organizational skills or.
Speaker 4: It's definitely not organizational skills. I've never realized anything about that.
Speaker 4: In fact, I mean, yeah, don't.
Speaker 3: I don't have that.
Speaker 4: I have no logistical expertise, no domesticity. I think I
Speaker 4: realized I was precocious and that I got attention for that.
Speaker 4: And I was the youngest of six children, so like,
Speaker 4: to me, that was an avenue to get what I
Speaker 4: wanted was to be kind of bold and brazen and
Speaker 4: say the things that nobody would accept a little five
Speaker 4: or six year old girl to say. And I got
Speaker 4: rewarded a lot from my three brothers because they thought
Speaker 4: it was so funny because I was obnoxious, and they'd
Speaker 4: be like, go up and tell that guy that he's
Speaker 4: an idiot, and I'd be like, no problem, and then
Speaker 4: I'd go and tell them and they'd be laughing, you know,
Speaker 4: like they made me do stuff like that all the time,
Speaker 4: and I loved their reaction to that. So then that
Speaker 4: became my commodity. Like I became that kind of personality
Speaker 4: and I leaned into it pretty hard.
Speaker 3: Six siblings, five siblings. I'm the youngest of six.
Speaker 1: Can you rank them in order?
Speaker 3: Yes? I can.
Speaker 1: Rank your siblings in order.
Speaker 3: Chat Roy, Glad Simone and Shashana Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I don't mean by age, I mean by closeness.
Speaker 4: Oh oh oh, sorry, I thought my brothers and sisters.
Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck it, I hope so.
Speaker 1: Or what skill set does each sibling have that you
Speaker 1: admire the most? I won't make you okay.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, my brother, my oldest brother, not to be
Speaker 4: a bummer, but he died when I was nine years old,
Speaker 4: so he's out of the picture. But I still account
Speaker 4: to him as my brother because obviously my brother, my
Speaker 4: second oldest brother. Roy is a chef and he is
Speaker 4: the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was the
Speaker 4: chef on Chelsea Lately. He was the chef on my
Speaker 4: Netflix show. He's the one you just always want around.
Speaker 4: He's like a party favor. Roy is the sweetest, most
Speaker 4: gentle man you know, Like we just all love him.
Speaker 3: My sisters and I are like, that's our teddy bear.
Speaker 4: Then there's Glenn, my other brother, who's very intelligent but
Speaker 4: also slightly misogynist and like he's married to a Russian
Speaker 4: woman who's a real Putin sympathizer. So I have a
Speaker 4: little of a bit of a challenging relationship with that
Speaker 4: part of the family.
Speaker 3: I spent my last twenty.
Speaker 4: Five years going on vacation with my whole family, Like
Speaker 4: I take a lot of pleasure and like taking my
Speaker 4: whole family away. And after, like, you know, like four
Speaker 4: years ago, I was like I'm wrapped. I was like,
Speaker 4: I didn't marry this woman, Olga, you did you go
Speaker 4: on vacation with her. I no longer want to finance
Speaker 4: a vacation where I'm listening to Russian state propaganda, So
Speaker 4: that relationships a little bit, you know, it's got some friction.
Speaker 4: My sisters are Simone and Shashana, and my sister's a
Speaker 4: healthcare attorney, and my other sister has her own ear
Speaker 4: piercing company in New Jersey, and the.
Speaker 3: Girls are always reyal tight.
Speaker 4: Our whole family's pretty close and communicative.
Speaker 1: But like, you know, are you the family alpha? Yes,
Speaker 1: you're the organizer.
Speaker 3: Definitely.
Speaker 1: Okay, so Thanksgiving time.
Speaker 3: Who's Thanksgiving time?
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving start for you.
Speaker 4: Well, Thanksgiving time starts for me by telling my family
Speaker 4: we're not celebrating together this year.
Speaker 3: Leave me out of it.
Speaker 4: I don't care about holidays. I don't care about Christmas.
Speaker 4: I don't like being told when to celebrate general.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I.
Speaker 4: Find that all very annoying. Like I want to celebrate.
Speaker 4: I want to have a life when I want to
Speaker 4: have a life. I don't like when people are like, Okay,
Speaker 4: today's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3: I'm just not into it. Butgiving whatever the hell.
Speaker 4: I feel like I hopefully ski somewhere, but yeah, or
Speaker 4: I'll go to a friend's house, Like, I just don't
Speaker 4: like it to be I don't like the formality of that,
Speaker 4: you know. I want it to be casual and I'm
Speaker 4: going to do my own thing. But we do vacation
Speaker 4: several times. I mean, we usually vacation over Christmas, like
Speaker 4: for a long week, and then in the summer we'll
Speaker 4: go to Martha's vineyard or something. Typically speaking, although in
Speaker 4: the last couple of years, like I just said, I've
Speaker 4: kind of taken ownership over.
Speaker 3: My holidays again.
Speaker 4: And I'm vacationing less with my family and more with myself.
Speaker 1: You said, now you're even preparing for your set, Like
Speaker 1: for you, like what is the process of honing your
Speaker 1: skill set as far as having fresh material for a comedian,
Speaker 1: which I know, like especially when all of you are
Speaker 1: choosing from the same subjects, like your take on where
Speaker 1: we are now, Like how do you what's that whole
Speaker 1: creative process?
Speaker 4: Like well, I think you know, for me personally, like
Speaker 4: I've made a living by being myself. You know, I've
Speaker 4: made a living off of my personality, which is not
Speaker 4: something as a little kid even and knew I could do.
Speaker 4: I didn't even know that was possible. You know, when
Speaker 4: you do stand up, you're writing your own script. I
Speaker 4: mean some people in may of writers, but still there,
Speaker 4: Like it's so important. Whether it's me writing books, whether
Speaker 4: it's me doing my podcast Dear Chelsea, or whether it's
Speaker 4: me doing stand up. These are all self generative, right,
Speaker 4: I'm all like they're all coming from me, And I
Speaker 4: think that, you know, like I work really hard when
Speaker 4: I work, and then I you know, don't work really hard.
Speaker 3: When I don't work, I go and vacation.
Speaker 4: Really hard, and I experience really hard because I want
Speaker 4: to have experiences to talk about. Like you have to
Speaker 4: live a life to gain the material to write books.
Speaker 4: You have to live a life to gain the material
Speaker 4: to write a set.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I like, last year, I put out my my most
Speaker 4: recent special on Netflix, and that means you start over
Speaker 4: that you have to have a whole new hour of material.
Speaker 4: So then you go into your life and you're like,
Speaker 4: what haven't I talked about yet? What's happened in the
Speaker 4: last year, you know, Just like I was telling you
Speaker 4: about my family and my family vacations, like that's a
Speaker 4: topic in my stand up, Like I started editing people
Speaker 4: in my family. I'm like, listen, I didn't marry your wife.
Speaker 3: I'm not required to go.
Speaker 4: I've extended my generosity for twenty five years. I want
Speaker 4: to go on vacation with your kids, bring me your kids,
Speaker 4: but you.
Speaker 3: Guys stay back.
Speaker 4: Or I want to go on vacation with my siblings
Speaker 4: and none of their spouses, you know. Like I'm actually
Speaker 4: setting different a set of rules now because I just
Speaker 4: don't feel like doing that anymore.
Speaker 3: Like I'm a woman.
Speaker 4: I pay for almost everything that my family does together,
Speaker 4: and now I'm making the rules to fit what I desire,
Speaker 4: and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2: Okay, So maybe a decade and a half ago, I
Speaker 2: was in the beginning process of maybe maybe will they
Speaker 2: or won't they dating a comedian and someone put something
Speaker 2: in my ear and I couldn't get rid of it,
Speaker 2: which is basically they were like, you know, you've better
Speaker 2: not never mess up, or you'll be part of her.
Speaker 1: Set, right, And I almost think.
Speaker 2: That I subconsciously sabotage the relationship so I could get
Speaker 2: out of it. Do you find it hard to sort
Speaker 2: of draw in people? And I don't mean like your
Speaker 2: comedy circle or whoever your creative circle is, but do
Speaker 2: they often have is that apprehension or are they slow
Speaker 2: to come into your sphere for fear that they might
Speaker 2: be the subject of your life, which is the stage.
Speaker 4: I'm sure that that is something that lots of men
Speaker 4: think about, if there's ever a chance of connecting with them.
Speaker 3: I'm sure many men are like, oh god, I've talked.
Speaker 4: I've spoken publicly about almost every relationship I've had, not everyone,
Speaker 4: because some people who are private, like, if you're not
Speaker 4: a public figure, I try to leave you out of
Speaker 4: it because it's not fair.
Speaker 3: But if you know, like I dated Joe Coy.
Speaker 4: Who's also a median, so I've spoken about that publicly,
Speaker 4: very limited. Nobody really knows why we broke up, but
Speaker 4: you know, we were a very public relationship, so we
Speaker 4: publicly broke up.
Speaker 3: But I didn't drag him.
Speaker 4: You know, I would have done that probably ten years ago,
Speaker 4: but now I'm a little bit more mature, So I
Speaker 4: try not to humiliate men because I know, a my
Speaker 4: feeling is a lot of men are already turned off
Speaker 4: by me and my bold personality and the fact that
Speaker 4: I'm confident. That turns a lot of men off sadly,
Speaker 4: you know, instead of men going, oh my god, that's
Speaker 4: a woman who knows what she wants and is confident.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I often say that, like, you know, we'll say like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I want to strong, will d d D D D
Speaker 2: D da da da. But then in almost every situation,
Speaker 2: the person that tells me that we'll have some sort
Speaker 2: of buyers remorse later and I'm like, well, you got
Speaker 2: to be honest with what you really want in relationship.
Speaker 3: Because yeah, it looks good like what.
Speaker 4: Paper, yeah, right, what you think you may not want
Speaker 4: when it's put to the test. And it's real, Like,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm an independent I don't really need a
Speaker 4: lot from a guy.
Speaker 3: You actually have to be a great guy and we
Speaker 3: have to have great chemistry for you to be in
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 4: I'm not like my standards are so high because I
Speaker 4: really don't want to settle or have to for anything less.
Speaker 3: And you know that's not a threat, that's just my truth.
Speaker 4: Like I've been through gross guys and idiots, Like I'm
Speaker 4: not doing that again. I'm too secure and I'm totally
Speaker 4: fine also being single. Like I'm not one of those
Speaker 4: women who's on dating apps every night going, oh, I
Speaker 4: got to hook up, I got to find somebody, I
Speaker 4: got to go on dates.
Speaker 3: I don't operate like that.
Speaker 2: So who's in your trusted circle then that you really trust,
Speaker 2: like that knows where the bodies are buried?
Speaker 1: Like what's the number?
Speaker 3: A number of people? Probably like five people. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: but you know I'm.
Speaker 4: Not like a private person. Obviously, I'm not precious about
Speaker 4: my privacy. I'm a very public I've always been very public.
Speaker 4: That's kind of part.
Speaker 3: Of my deal.
Speaker 4: You know, there's not a lot of mystique here because
Speaker 4: I'm always willing to talk about everything. So it's not
Speaker 4: like I have a ton of secrets. You know, they're
Speaker 4: out there. It's not like I have a ton of
Speaker 4: like hidden stuff that only certain people know about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's stuff that is in public.
Speaker 4: But as far as like bodies being buried, like I
Speaker 4: would have already outed myself on.
Speaker 1: That, who's your first like life role model, like a
Speaker 1: real life person that you know in your childhood, And
Speaker 1: then I was going to say, who's your north star?
Speaker 1: As far as creativity?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, I think my sister was my hero, my
Speaker 4: oldest sister, Timoe, when I was growing up, because she
Speaker 4: kind of played the role of my second mother.
Speaker 3: She was my de facto mother. My parents were you know,
Speaker 3: when you have six children, they're out to lunch.
Speaker 4: They were exhausted. My mom slept like a cat throughout
Speaker 4: my whole childhood. I mean they would forget to pick
Speaker 4: me up from school. I'd walk home, like in the
Speaker 4: middle of a blizzard, and I'd walk home and my
Speaker 4: dad would be sitting at the kitchen table reading the
Speaker 4: New York Times.
Speaker 3: I'm like, hello, hello.
Speaker 4: Devin, and I just walked home and a in a snowstorm.
Speaker 3: So yeah, my sister was my hero.
Speaker 4: Because she was kind of the one that mediated between
Speaker 4: me and my father and my parents when our relationship
Speaker 4: was more volatile as far as artists or creatives.
Speaker 3: You know, I grew up on The Cosby Show like
Speaker 3: that was my show. I wanted to be part of
Speaker 3: the family.
Speaker 4: Like I considered myself to be a Huxtable. I wanted
Speaker 4: Rudy and Vanessa to be my sister. I wanted to
Speaker 4: fuck my brother, you know, not my real brother, but
Speaker 4: my brother.
Speaker 3: On the show.
Speaker 4: And I love the idea that my father was a
Speaker 4: guynecologist or an obgyn basically with those swinging kitchen doors
Speaker 4: and those sitcoms in the way, it just felt like
Speaker 4: the most idyllic childhood, right the Huxtables.
Speaker 3: To me, that was it.
Speaker 4: And then you know, we all know what happened with that,
Speaker 4: So there you go for heroes.
Speaker 2: I was going to say that watching Malcolm Jamal Warner vicariously,
Speaker 2: I was him on that hill, right, And when he
Speaker 2: passed away, I had to return to like dust off
Speaker 2: my my my DVD player and break out the box
Speaker 2: set and rewatch all eight seasons as a mournful process.
Speaker 2: And I realized how much that show kind of pushed
Speaker 2: me forward in life, you know, like I didn't know
Speaker 2: that we could live like that, and so, yeah, it
Speaker 2: is a hurtful process if you get betrayed on that level,
Speaker 2: like how do you how do you even deal or
Speaker 2: return to it?
Speaker 4: And so I was also also this is I've told
Speaker 4: the story before, but maybe you haven't heard it. I
Speaker 4: went to I was performing in Atlantic City doing stand
Speaker 4: up and Bill Cosby was also performing in Atlantic City.
Speaker 1: The end of the story.
Speaker 4: Okay, so this casino manager approaches me. I was doing
Speaker 4: two nights. He was doing two nights. We were in
Speaker 4: two different rooms.
Speaker 3: And he calls me.
Speaker 4: I mean, we're performing in two different rooms. Obviously we
Speaker 4: were staying in two different rooms. But the casino manager
Speaker 4: approaches me. She's like, oh, Bill Cosby would like to
Speaker 4: meet you. And I'm like twenty seven, twenty eight or no, no,
Speaker 4: I was in my thirties because I was on Chelsea
Speaker 4: Lately at the time.
Speaker 3: And I was like, They're like, Bill Cosby wants to
Speaker 3: meet you.
Speaker 4: He's you know, he wants you to come to his
Speaker 4: hotel room at three pm. And I was like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, are you kidding me? Bill Cosby knows who
Speaker 4: I am? What And so I go up and I
Speaker 4: brought the guy that was opening for me, who was
Speaker 4: also on Chelsea Lately with me in one of the comics,
Speaker 4: Chris Frangola. I had a security guard with me, and
Speaker 4: I was like, guys, do you want to meet Bill Cosby?
Speaker 3: Knowing nothing, knowing just like the more the merrier. We
Speaker 3: go up. We knock on the door and I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, Oh my god, mister Huxtable's coming like this.
Speaker 3: He opens the door.
Speaker 4: Bill Cosby opens the door and you know, you know,
Speaker 4: he's got that great face, at least it used to
Speaker 4: be great, and it was like, you know, that jello pudding.
Speaker 3: Smile he had on his face. And he opens the
Speaker 3: door and he's got this big smile and he doesn't
Speaker 3: see the two guys that are standing next to me
Speaker 3: because they were like to my right.
Speaker 4: And I jump into Bill Cosby's arms. I'm like, dad,
Speaker 4: I'm home. Like That's how I greeted him. And he
Speaker 4: was holding on to me, and I was holding on
Speaker 4: to him. He held on a little bit longer than
Speaker 4: I and then and then I said, and these are
Speaker 4: my friends, Chris, and then my security guard and.
Speaker 3: His face dropped.
Speaker 4: Yes, and we go in, and we go in and
Speaker 4: we sit and it's like, you know, he's got this
Speaker 4: huge suite and we're sitting. We sit down and he's like,
Speaker 4: who are these guys, blah blah. I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: this is Chris my opener. And he proceeds to go
Speaker 4: in on Chris Frangola for opening for a woman and
Speaker 4: telling him how he'll never be successful in comedy because
Speaker 4: he's opening for a woman.
Speaker 3: And I was like, wait, what is this? Like I
Speaker 3: thought we were being punked.
Speaker 4: I was like, is this a And then you know,
Speaker 4: at a certain point, I had to stand up for
Speaker 4: my friend because he was just dragging him. And I
Speaker 4: finally went up and I'm like, you know what, I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: We're out of here, Like we don't need to listen
Speaker 4: to this.
Speaker 3: This isn't pleasant or fun.
Speaker 1: Oh we got that serious?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, it was like it was really obnoxious.
Speaker 4: So we walk out and that feeling of you know,
Speaker 4: you meet someone that you should you know, we couldn't
Speaker 4: even speak to each other, the three of us.
Speaker 3: We walked down the hall out out of his room
Speaker 3: and we're all just like, you know, speechless.
Speaker 4: So I'm very grateful that I had the enough intuition
Speaker 4: to bring people with me.
Speaker 2: I think what people don't know when they look at
Speaker 2: your life as a goldfish or as a person that's
Speaker 2: separate from their lives, is that you.
Speaker 1: Haven't met that. It's easy.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you what was your version of air
Speaker 2: quote making it when you were ten years old? What
Speaker 2: was your version of what you thought success was going
Speaker 2: to be?
Speaker 4: First class? And like being flying first class at ten
Speaker 4: years old? I went on my first flight and I
Speaker 4: walked past the first class section and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
Speaker 4: Who are these people right here? Like this looks like
Speaker 4: my group? And my mother was like, keep walking, sweetheart,
Speaker 4: that is not our group. That will never be our group.
Speaker 4: We have six children. We will never be able to
Speaker 4: afford to fly first class. And I was like, fuck
Speaker 4: that shit. I'm like, the next time I fly, that's
Speaker 4: where I'm sitting. And it took me about three years
Speaker 4: of saving up babysitting money and lemonade stand money. But
Speaker 4: when I took my next flight, I was thirteen years old,
Speaker 4: and guess who sat in tuc while my family sat
Speaker 4: all the way and coach, wait.
Speaker 1: Did you do this independent of them as well.
Speaker 3: Yes, I went down the street.
Speaker 4: We had a neighbor who was a travel agent. I
Speaker 4: bought my own first class ticket. It was something like
Speaker 4: eighteen hundred dollars. It was like nineteen. It would have
Speaker 4: been nineteen eighty eight because I was thirteen flying from
Speaker 4: We're flying from Newark to LA. I had grandparents that
Speaker 4: lived in LA and I bought my own first class ticket.
Speaker 4: And I didn't tell anyone because I was flying with
Speaker 4: my two brothers, Glenn and Roy, and I want I
Speaker 4: could not wait to see the looks on their faces
Speaker 4: when I sat down in my seat.
Speaker 3: I couldn't wait.
Speaker 4: And when I did, I stopped and I was like,
Speaker 4: you know, thirteen years old, but acting like I was,
Speaker 4: you know, forty.
Speaker 3: I was like a businesswoman. I had a briefcase. I
Speaker 3: was like in California, I had kidneys.
Speaker 1: I had to dress up back then, correct, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you didn't have to, but I wanted to.
Speaker 2: I was told you had to dress up. If you
Speaker 2: said I had to wear suits until yeah, that.
Speaker 4: Was like the SEVENTI yeah, I guess that was the
Speaker 4: eighties two when people dressed up. But I sat down
Speaker 4: in tuc My brothers thought I was joking. I put
Speaker 4: my little briefcase in the over had been with my
Speaker 4: little Barbie, you know, backpack and for my week in California,
Speaker 4: we were going to Disneyland, and my brothers are like
Speaker 4: looking at me, and I just showed them my ticket
Speaker 4: and I was like, I'll see you counts at the
Speaker 4: end of the flight, and then I went back to
Speaker 4: coach where they belonged. And at one point my brother
Speaker 4: came up to the first class like we were up
Speaker 4: in the air for like an hour. You know, I'm
Speaker 4: enjoying a glass of champagne because they don't know how
Speaker 4: old I am. And my brother comes up to my
Speaker 4: seat and he's like, you can't do that.
Speaker 3: You can't do that. I go, I can't do what
Speaker 3: he goes.
Speaker 4: You can't fly first class without giving it to You
Speaker 4: can't buy a first class ticket and not give it
Speaker 4: to one of us or mom. And I'm like, are
Speaker 4: you I go, what are you serious? Get the fuck
Speaker 4: out of my face. I'm like, you're ten years older
Speaker 4: than me. I'm thirteen, you're twenty three years old, and
Speaker 4: I figured out how to do this before you did. No,
Speaker 4: thank you, sir. And I'm like, I don't even know
Speaker 4: how you got up in this section.
Speaker 3: Go back to your robe.
Speaker 1: Please behind the curtain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get back on the garden.
Speaker 2: What unfair rule was implemented in your childhood? Don't go
Speaker 2: out past eleven?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 4: If this wasn't I don't know if this was unfair,
Speaker 4: but I got caught. I got when my girlfriends and
Speaker 4: I were like eight years old, we did what was
Speaker 4: called the feeling, where you would basically masturbate but over
Speaker 4: your clothes so everyone would call. You would just like
Speaker 4: rub your vagina but over your genes. Actually, the thicker
Speaker 4: the material, the better the traction, so you wanted more attraction,
Speaker 4: so you would never actually touch your vagina directly, but
Speaker 4: we would do it in school. We would use rulers.
Speaker 4: We would just all be like, are you going to
Speaker 4: get the feeling? During math class? Like whenever we could
Speaker 4: try and hide it. So I got pretty confident about
Speaker 4: getting the feeling. I'd go home and I'd lie down
Speaker 4: in front of like an ottoman and kind of shade
Speaker 4: my body so that I could, like, you know, just
Speaker 4: watch General Hospital and masturbate the whole time. And then
Speaker 4: my parents caught me, and I guess they had known
Speaker 4: for some time that I was.
Speaker 3: Doing it, but I thought it was unfair, and they.
Speaker 4: Were like, you cannot masturbate in the living room anymore.
Speaker 1: They shamed you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, totally shamed me because I was starting to
Speaker 4: use appliances like spoons, like a wooden spoon or you know,
Speaker 4: I would see a corner of a wall and I'd
Speaker 4: go up to that. I was getting a little carried
Speaker 4: away in truth. So they told me I couldn't masturbate
Speaker 4: at home anymore, or.
Speaker 3: No in the living room.
Speaker 4: They're like, if you want to do that, save it
Speaker 4: for the privacy of your own room. And I thought
Speaker 4: that was unfair because I was just experimenting with my
Speaker 4: body and finding out what my desires were.
Speaker 1: Wow, this is not the answer I was expecting. Wow.
Speaker 1: So no master being with our utensils or I know.
Speaker 4: And also I felt like keeping my clothes on was
Speaker 4: the first step, you know, like, that's pretty respectful being.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're being respectful. Absolutely. Are there any mementos or
Speaker 1: toys from your childhood that you've kept this entire time?
Speaker 4: Not toys, I would to say, but mementos, yes, like
Speaker 4: you know, school pictures or family lots of family stuff,
Speaker 4: like when you have such a big family, We had
Speaker 4: like a lot of fun ridiculousness, you know, it was
Speaker 4: always chaos. And we had this summer house in Martha's
Speaker 4: Vineyard and so we have a lot of.
Speaker 3: Fun up there.
Speaker 4: So yeah, Like and we always had dogs, like, we
Speaker 4: always had a family dog. So I have a lot
Speaker 4: of like memories from that and mementos like pictures of
Speaker 4: my childhood dogs and stuff. But as far as like
Speaker 4: actual mementos or toys, no, I don't think I'm not
Speaker 4: like sentimental like that, Like I'm not somebody who saves
Speaker 4: a lot of stuff. All I care about is anything
Speaker 4: that's in writing, like a card or a photo. Those
Speaker 4: are the things that mean the most to me.
Speaker 2: Well, wait, you can't say that you're not sentimental, because
Speaker 2: I would assume that for you. I mean you've written
Speaker 2: seven books, correct, yes, seven books, and what you do
Speaker 2: for a living is recalling the past. So I mean
Speaker 2: there's a part of you that has to be somewhat sentimental.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean sentimental it lends that that word kind
Speaker 3: of means that you're holding onto the past in this
Speaker 3: kind of Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, it's just like you know, it's like I miss it.
Speaker 4: You know, it's more of a reflective than it is sentimental,
Speaker 4: Like it's more of a I mind it for material.
Speaker 4: I mean, there are parts of it that I am
Speaker 4: sentimental about, you know, like my brother who passed away.
Speaker 4: Of course I'm sentimental about his stuff, and I do
Speaker 4: have a couple of his things actually, But like I
Speaker 4: find the word sentimental to mean, like, oh, I get
Speaker 4: emotional when I think about things, Like a lot of
Speaker 4: things are just references and reflections that I take with me,
Speaker 4: and my past is so much a part of who
Speaker 4: I am, Like I had to be salty to survive.
Speaker 4: I had to have a big personality to be heard,
Speaker 4: and so it's part of the fabric of who I am.
Speaker 1: Can you tell me a story of the worst time
Speaker 1: you ever got in trouble in your childhood?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, I mean there were a couple. I once
Speaker 3: had a party at my house.
Speaker 4: My dad was actually in the hospital, and I was
Speaker 4: like perfect, and we have the house free. And I
Speaker 4: was like in seventh grade and I had a huge
Speaker 4: party at my house and everyone just started taking stuff
Speaker 4: from my house, and the cops came.
Speaker 3: Like people were.
Speaker 4: Stealing stuff like pieces of furniture and then the cops came.
Speaker 4: And when the cops came out, I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: out of here too, and I left my own party
Speaker 4: and went and hit at our elementary school in the
Speaker 4: woods until they left, because I didn't want to get
Speaker 4: in trouble.
Speaker 2: So you thought you could get her away with so
Speaker 2: obviously you raised on like eighties, nineties teen movies, like
Speaker 2: you thought you could get away with us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. I was like, Oh, if they don't see me,
Speaker 3: then they can't prove I was there.
Speaker 1: And it's like, where are your parents? Did you? What
Speaker 1: did your parents do for a living?
Speaker 4: My dad was a used car dealer and my mom
Speaker 4: was like a home health care nurse, but she didn't work.
Speaker 4: She only worked when my dad's business was doing pretty badly,
Speaker 4: which was quite often because he was he was a
Speaker 4: used car dealer, but he didn't have like a place
Speaker 4: of business. He just sold cars out of our driveway.
Speaker 4: So our driveway was like this big circular driveway covered
Speaker 4: in these terrible geloppies, like there would be tire irons
Speaker 4: and tires and everything was just strewn. It looked like
Speaker 4: like the front yard of Sanford and Son.
Speaker 1: So they were sentiment.
Speaker 4: Well, my dad was I mean or he just couldn't
Speaker 4: sell a car, depending on how you look.
Speaker 1: At it, got it.
Speaker 2: So wait, what happened when when you got found out?
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean I got in trouble.
Speaker 4: I mean the police found me in the woods, like
Speaker 4: we were all gathered there together. We had no experience
Speaker 4: in like dodging the police or anything. Another embarrassing thing.
Speaker 4: I got caught shoplifting at Sears. Remember Sears. I don't
Speaker 4: know Sears still exists, maybe.
Speaker 3: But I got caught shoplifting.
Speaker 4: But bras and underwear. First of all, it's like a
Speaker 4: home appliance store, so buying bras and underwear from Sears.
Speaker 3: Is already off.
Speaker 4: And my girlfriend and I, Jill, got caught shoplifting and
Speaker 4: then I had to go and that was really shameful,
Speaker 4: Like my mom wouldn't even talk to me for a week.
Speaker 3: She was like, that is so gross that you went
Speaker 3: and stole.
Speaker 4: And my dad had to take me to these shoplifting
Speaker 4: classes where you had to get up and the father
Speaker 4: was like, I am the father of a shoplifter.
Speaker 3: And then I had to go out.
Speaker 1: You had to take the photo in like the were
Speaker 1: they hanging in the back?
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then I had to get up and be like,
Speaker 4: I'm a shoplifter, and then you have to talk about
Speaker 4: what you shoplifted. And mine was like a red bra
Speaker 4: and underwear panty set. And I was in seventh grade.
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 4: I mean, who's buying launcherie from Seers? Like none of
Speaker 4: it made any sense at all.
Speaker 1: Ah, Okay, what's the last thing that you cooked for yourself?
Speaker 3: Oh? This is I did this the other night.
Speaker 4: I was staying with a girlfriend because my house is
Speaker 4: under construction, So I was staying with a girlfriend and
Speaker 4: she cooks, she can cook. I was staying with her
Speaker 4: for about a month, and I wanted to not leave
Speaker 4: until she taught me how to cook at least one thing.
Speaker 4: I am terrible in the kitchen. I'm very bad with instructions.
Speaker 4: If you'd give me the instructions, it's very hard for.
Speaker 3: Me to follow through.
Speaker 4: So I wanted to cook chicken pacata, and we cooked
Speaker 4: it together with her help.
Speaker 3: She did probably about seventy percent of the work.
Speaker 4: I did about thirty percent, and it's still tasted like garbage.
Speaker 1: Got it? What restaurant would you fly across.
Speaker 3: The world for Kespatra March.
Speaker 1: Is that that's.
Speaker 4: That's a restaurant in Mayorca in Day of Mayorca. I
Speaker 4: have a house in Myorca and we go there. We
Speaker 4: ride our bikes to this restaurant. It's up this huge
Speaker 4: hill and then you ride down and it's right on
Speaker 4: the water, so you're sitting on the Mediterranean while you
Speaker 4: eat the most fresh fish and fried onion. They put
Speaker 4: these little fried onion rings on everything that they serve,
Speaker 4: so you get this beautiful like dorado fish or sea
Speaker 4: bream or whatever you're into. And then they have these
Speaker 4: crispy onion rings that they put everywhere, and then you
Speaker 4: can jump off from your table into the sea and
Speaker 4: it's this beautiful cave.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just heaven on earth.
Speaker 1: I want to go to this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, come anytime. I'm going for the month of October
Speaker 3: quest You're welcome to join me.
Speaker 2: So you're big on vacations and break and self care, yeah,
Speaker 2: I take it.
Speaker 1: Yes, Okay.
Speaker 2: So I'm a person who is notoriously known for, you know,
Speaker 2: filling up every second of the day with I don't
Speaker 2: see it as work.
Speaker 1: It's a passion to me, but I was.
Speaker 2: You know, when you start dating, you you're forced to
Speaker 2: go on vacations, and it was hard for me to
Speaker 2: not work. Convince me why taking vacations are important.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I mean, listen, there's always a little work,
Speaker 4: like I'm always always a little bit working, Like I need.
Speaker 3: To just decompress. I need My life is crazy, as
Speaker 3: I'm sure yours is. All of our lives are crazy.
Speaker 4: It's just so important to get to a point where
Speaker 4: you feel recharged, where you feel like where you can
Speaker 4: just take your stress. Because first of all, you go
Speaker 4: on vacation for a week, you don't start relaxing until
Speaker 4: like the fifth or sixth.
Speaker 3: Day, and then you're leaving the next day.
Speaker 4: That's why I go on vacation for a month, because
Speaker 4: I take a first week to adjust, and then I
Speaker 4: can actually chill out. I can read a book and concentrate.
Speaker 4: I can go on a bike ride for two hours
Speaker 4: without thinking about a million things.
Speaker 1: Like.
Speaker 3: To me, vacation is letting your mind not run you.
Speaker 4: To me, vacation is like getting so relaxed that it
Speaker 4: doesn't matter which way the wind blows. You might go
Speaker 4: to dinner that night, you might just sit at home.
Speaker 4: You might stay in bed all day and watch TV.
Speaker 4: You might be out in the ocean all day. Like
Speaker 4: to not have a plan and let see where the
Speaker 4: day takes you. That's my idea of a vacation, to
Speaker 4: not have anything regimented.
Speaker 1: What is your preferred month of not working?
Speaker 3: It could be any month.
Speaker 4: I mean, I like working during the summer because it's
Speaker 4: gotten so hot, so it's like I don't enjoy that.
Speaker 3: Being in the heat and vacation. But I love the
Speaker 3: winter to ski.
Speaker 4: I go to Canada in the winter to do my skiing,
Speaker 4: So I base myself out of Whistler, Canada for like
Speaker 4: four months in the wintertime.
Speaker 3: That's also part vacation.
Speaker 4: I mean, I do my podcast from there, and I'll
Speaker 4: be on tour from there. But it's just a different
Speaker 4: kind of I like to change the channel a lot,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I get bored being in
Speaker 4: the same place. I find La to be a little
Speaker 4: bit sleepy. I find New York to be much more stimulative.
Speaker 4: And then I split my time between Spain and Canada.
Speaker 1: All right, So have you ever gotten lost in another country? Yeah?
Speaker 3: All the time.
Speaker 4: I got lost on a vespa in France for an
Speaker 4: hour and a half in a bathing suit on a
Speaker 4: freeway with eighteen wheelers driving by me because I couldn't
Speaker 4: even follow direction. With my friends, We're all on vespos,
Speaker 4: and I was like, just had my head in the clouds.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I guess I'll make a left
Speaker 4: here when no one else made a left and I
Speaker 4: got on a major freeway. I was in beer Ritz, France,
Speaker 4: and I got on a major freeway and could not
Speaker 4: get off of it for miles and miles, and a
Speaker 4: vespa only goes like forty five miles an hour at tops,
Speaker 4: and these cars are blowing past me, beeping like, get
Speaker 4: out of the lane, get out of the lane. So
Speaker 4: I was a very dumb American on that trip. But
Speaker 4: I get lost all the time. Quest I have no
Speaker 4: sense of direction all right?
Speaker 1: When traveling? Are you a window or an out seat person?
Speaker 3: Doesn't really matter.
Speaker 4: I'll probably because I have to pee a lot, so
Speaker 4: it's easier for me not to walk over anybody.
Speaker 2: Okay, when all is said and done, what city would
Speaker 2: you like to retire in?
Speaker 4: Probably I mean somewhere. I'd probably like to live out
Speaker 4: my last days in my Orca. Yeah, that's pretty much
Speaker 4: in my happy magic place.
Speaker 1: What is it about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 4: So I love to be on the water. I love
Speaker 4: to hear water when I'm sleeping. I love to be
Speaker 4: in the water. I love to sail. I just love
Speaker 4: that whole vibe like outdoorsy. And the great thing about
Speaker 4: my house in my Orca is it's got this huge
Speaker 4: outdoor terrace, so it's like you kind of don't even
Speaker 4: have to leave the house to feel like you're part
Speaker 4: of Like there's this little port and all these shops
Speaker 4: and restaurants and people are always walking back and forth.
Speaker 3: I'm bringing my dog this time so he can experience
Speaker 3: like the magic of it.
Speaker 4: We got him a life jacket so we can go
Speaker 4: into the Mediterranean and throw him off of a paddle
Speaker 4: board or a catamaran, whatever we decide. But also New
Speaker 4: York I think like in terms of you know, New
Speaker 4: York is so stimulating that I think as you get older,
Speaker 4: that really is the place to live, because you can't
Speaker 4: really La is too sleepy to get older, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. I could die early here just from
Speaker 4: being so lazy. When I come here, it's almost like
Speaker 4: a rehab. Like I sleep a lot, I get healthy,
Speaker 4: I work out all the time. New York I'm out
Speaker 4: and about, you know, there's a lot more fomo there.
Speaker 1: What time do you normally go to bed?
Speaker 4: I go to bed pretty early in LA, Like I
Speaker 4: go to bed around ten ten thirty in LA. I mean, listen,
Speaker 4: this weekend, let's be honest. I went out to a
Speaker 4: party and I got home at six am on Saturday morning.
Speaker 3: But that was an anomaly for me.
Speaker 4: I usually don't do that, so that was really fun
Speaker 4: because I hadn't done that in a long time.
Speaker 1: So you don't go as heavy as he used to
Speaker 1: go in.
Speaker 3: Your oh oh no no.
Speaker 4: I like day partying, Like I like to go out
Speaker 4: to a fun lunch. I'd like to go do something.
Speaker 3: Early at night.
Speaker 4: It's kind of why I love ski culture, because you
Speaker 4: get up early, you go skiing, you have a little
Speaker 4: margarita juice boost at around eleven thirty in the morning,
Speaker 4: then you have app ray around three thirty, and that
Speaker 4: kind of counts as my dinner, and then I'm home
Speaker 4: and bed by like eight o'clock, and I get up
Speaker 4: in the morning and do it all again. So I
Speaker 4: kind of like that lifestyle. But I mean there's a
Speaker 4: lot of lifestyles I like.
Speaker 2: Okay, So practical Advice twenty twenty is what I consider
Speaker 2: to be. You know, we might be living through another
Speaker 2: type of pandemic, a spiritual pandemic. But twenty twenty for
Speaker 2: me was a crucial year of what I consider like
Speaker 2: my BC eighty years in terms of I wasn't the
Speaker 2: same person now than I was before then.
Speaker 1: So twenty twenty was a pivotal change for me.
Speaker 2: What was different for you in your life now post
Speaker 2: twenty twenty that you're still implementing.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think anyone is really recovered from that.
Speaker 4: I mean I don't think you know, the work ethic
Speaker 4: is not the same for a lot of people. People
Speaker 4: don't want to go back to work. They didn't want
Speaker 4: to go back to work for a while, so there's.
Speaker 3: That in the air.
Speaker 4: In general, there's a kind of malaise about working hard.
Speaker 1: So you're not as hustle based now as you were
Speaker 1: before twenty twenty.
Speaker 4: No, I didn't impact me as much. Like I mean,
Speaker 4: I grew up as a hustler. So I'm from New Jersey, Like,
Speaker 4: you're not going to get that out of me. What city,
Speaker 4: Livingstone and they it's by like Montclair, Like we's Caldwell. Okay, No,
Speaker 4: but I mean I think just the reflection of so
Speaker 4: many like whether it's gen Z or what you know,
Speaker 4: millennials or their attitude from COVID. You kind of absorb it,
Speaker 4: or you're constantly exposed to the fact that people liked
Speaker 4: not going into work, people liked the virtual life, people
Speaker 4: liked talking like this rather than being in person. I
Speaker 4: would always choose to be in person with people. That's
Speaker 4: just my preference. I feel like there's much more of
Speaker 4: a connection. So but my life, my life has a change.
Speaker 4: I mean, I would say I'm busier now than I
Speaker 4: was before twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: That was, like, you know, I'm.
Speaker 4: Busier now without a talk show than I was when
Speaker 4: I had a talk show, which doesn't really make a
Speaker 4: lot of sense to me, but.
Speaker 3: Somehow it's true. So I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, that whole pandemic, it just changed our country
Speaker 4: and our like you know, it changed the whole world.
Speaker 3: But on a personal level, I don't feel so changed
Speaker 3: by it. I felt more of an observer of it
Speaker 3: rather than in the thick of it. I wasn't upset
Speaker 3: by it.
Speaker 4: It didn't freak me out, I wasn't scared. I welcomed
Speaker 4: the break quite frankly.
Speaker 3: I liked it. I read a lot of books, and
Speaker 3: I took a lot of mushrooms. Same.
Speaker 1: All right, we're going to be friends, Chelsea. What book
Speaker 1: would you say probably changed your life?
Speaker 2: What was a paradigm shift for you? Hmmm, or at
Speaker 2: least the author that pushed you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, letting Go.
Speaker 4: There's a book called Letting Go by David Hawkings that
Speaker 4: I always talk about.
Speaker 3: That book. Have you read that.
Speaker 2: Somebody was explaining to me, you know, like his enlightened,
Speaker 2: like his number system that he has as far as
Speaker 2: our vibration. Yes, okay, So someone was explaining that to
Speaker 2: me and they sent me a clip and then the
Speaker 2: next thing I know, I fell down a vicious rabbit
Speaker 2: hole and damn near his So I'm reading his entire anthology,
Speaker 2: if you will, and anything he's ever written I've read over.
Speaker 1: Like him and Neville Goddard are my two go tos?
Speaker 3: Oh Okay, I don't know him. Nevill Goddard. I'll have
Speaker 3: to look him up.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Number one, I'm working on a movie right now in
Speaker 2: which the lead subject it's a documentary, but he believes
Speaker 2: in metaphysics and you know, the idea of positive thinking, affirmations, breathing, meditation,
Speaker 2: all those things, and so in order to understand that subject,
Speaker 2: I had to at least I took about a year
Speaker 2: off just to read all the metaphysical so between like
Speaker 2: Joe Despenza and but David Hawkins to me is God
Speaker 2: of them all.
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, it's fascinating stuff.
Speaker 4: It's fascinating to stuff to be like because it's scientific,
Speaker 4: but you know, it doesn't get as much airtime because
Speaker 4: it's not as easily measurable. You know what the ideas
Speaker 4: that he's talking about, even though they are scientific and
Speaker 4: they are measurable.
Speaker 1: Do you find it hard to talk about this with
Speaker 1: other people?
Speaker 4: Well, I mean I just frame it in the way
Speaker 4: that energy is. You know, like you're going there's a
Speaker 4: magnetic attraction. If you're going to put out positive energy,
Speaker 4: that's usually what you're going to get back. If you
Speaker 4: practice being positive, if you practice being upbeat, that becomes
Speaker 4: infectious and contagious.
Speaker 3: If you're negative, that's what you attract.
Speaker 4: Like, I mean, how many times have we sat around
Speaker 4: feeling sorry for ourselves or being negative and and then
Speaker 4: you just draw more negativity towards you. So it is like,
Speaker 4: it's it's pretty powerful to understand like the laws of attraction,
Speaker 4: and to understand that you can like higher your frequency,
Speaker 4: like you can get on a higher frequency, and the
Speaker 4: higher your frequency is, the more good that comes your
Speaker 4: way and the more people that you're able to positively impact.
Speaker 3: I find that to be just like the kind of
Speaker 3: point of that.
Speaker 4: Whole book is to really let go of the negative,
Speaker 4: like let things go, do not resist reality. Something doesn't
Speaker 4: work out your way, that's okay, make a left you
Speaker 4: know what I mean, that didn't work out. Don't sit
Speaker 4: there and bemoan that it didn't work out over and
Speaker 4: over and over again.
Speaker 3: Move forward.
Speaker 1: So you're big on pivots.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm big on pivots, all right.
Speaker 1: So how do you handle what I call the F word?
Speaker 2: I'm a reform perfectionist, and so for me, I would
Speaker 2: take failure very hard, like obsessively reading every record review,
Speaker 2: every show review, writing angry letters to you know you
Speaker 2: want you know. And it took me maybe half a
Speaker 2: decade like to finally not to let that go. But
Speaker 2: for you, how do you so now when something doesn't work?
Speaker 2: I almost I think I've convinced myself that when I
Speaker 2: see the F work, failure is a gift because technically
Speaker 2: it's it's a teachable lesson.
Speaker 1: But for you, how do you handle failure? Well in
Speaker 1: the lightest way.
Speaker 2: You're a comedian, so sometimes every joke doesn't work, and
Speaker 2: so how do you handle it in that sense? And
Speaker 2: then I want to know, how do you handle a
Speaker 2: major perceived failure?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean a joke not working is not a
Speaker 4: huge failure. That's a part of the work. Like, that's
Speaker 4: a part of trial and error, you know, that's my
Speaker 4: job is to test things out, see if they work,
Speaker 4: and then you know, let go of something if it
Speaker 4: doesn't work.
Speaker 3: As far as a failure.
Speaker 4: Like you know, trying to do something it not working, Yeah,
Speaker 4: those hit they can hint a little harder. But it's
Speaker 4: also like, you know, I just have this kind of philosophy.
Speaker 4: You know, it's a bummer. You can be okay, you know,
Speaker 4: bummed out for a day or two, but I'm not
Speaker 4: going to get angry.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get motivated. I'm going to like, you know,
Speaker 3: re pivot. I'm going to figure out what the next
Speaker 3: thing is.
Speaker 4: Like you can't, you know, I just don't have the
Speaker 4: patience or the time.
Speaker 3: To be in victim mode for too long. So if
Speaker 3: something doesn't work out.
Speaker 4: First of all, most things, you know, I understand a
Speaker 4: review is personal or feels personal, I should say, but
Speaker 4: most of that shit isn't personal. Most of that shit
Speaker 4: is about somebody else's bullshit. And like if someone doesn't
Speaker 4: like me, or if I don't sell a project that
Speaker 4: I'm going out to sell, it's like, Okay, well it
Speaker 4: didn't work at the right time, that person doesn't like me,
Speaker 4: or then look over where the light is, Like go
Speaker 4: where the light is instead of focusing on the negative.
Speaker 3: So I just always try to practice that, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've had lots of failures, but that's part
Speaker 3: of the process. You're not just going to be good
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 4: You know. Things can really irk me, Like if I
Speaker 4: find out someone doesn't like me, I'm like, wait what,
Speaker 4: I've never even met that person or I've never done
Speaker 4: anything to that person. And you know, when I was younger,
Speaker 4: I used to get a little bit upset about that.
Speaker 4: You know, if someone would be like, oh, we don't
Speaker 4: want her on the show, she's not for us, or
Speaker 4: I would hear something like that, I'd be like.
Speaker 3: What, Like what do they think of me? You know?
Speaker 3: But then you just kind of outgrow all of that.
Speaker 4: It's like that really has That's really not on me,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I haven't done anything wrong
Speaker 4: to hurt people, you know, like, I'm just doing my thing.
Speaker 4: Either it's for you or it's not for you, that's fine.
Speaker 4: If you don't like it, don't listen to it.
Speaker 1: Kind of a dark question. Who would you want to
Speaker 1: deliver your eulogy?
Speaker 3: Probably? Well, God, who would I want to delive for
Speaker 3: my eulogy?
Speaker 4: I guess it would have to be someone who do
Speaker 4: You would probably be my sister Simone. She wouldn't be
Speaker 4: able to do it though, because she can't even give
Speaker 4: me a birthday toast she gets too emotional. So I
Speaker 4: would say either my sister Simone or my friend Michael
Speaker 4: Tiberi and Dean Ward. They've been my writers for since
Speaker 4: Chelsea Lately days, and they know me inside and out
Speaker 4: and they know everything about me and my gardener. I
Speaker 4: wouldn't mind him chiming in because he knows a lot
Speaker 4: about me too.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in bucket list?
Speaker 2: And are there is there anything that you've not checked
Speaker 2: off your bucket list for your life?
Speaker 3: I don't really believe in bucket lists. I'm not like that.
Speaker 3: I'm not a planner. I don't have goals. I just
Speaker 3: am like I kind of fly, just kind of fly
Speaker 3: by the seat of my pants.
Speaker 4: Like you know, my plans change all the time, and
Speaker 4: I always just kind of go with that. I don't
Speaker 4: make huge plan I don't have like a five year
Speaker 4: prospectus or anything like that.
Speaker 3: But is there anything that? I mean?
Speaker 4: All I care about really is traveling and seeing as
Speaker 4: much of the world as I possibly can and meeting
Speaker 4: as many interesting people as I possibly can. Those are
Speaker 4: the things I care about the most. I'm very into
Speaker 4: people and I'm very into experience.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's the best compliment you've ever received.
Speaker 3: That I'm a good listener?
Speaker 1: Really? Are you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I am when I'm interesting.
Speaker 1: Okay, it comes with the all right, okay, cool.
Speaker 3: Comes with the caveat. You have to write to be
Speaker 3: one of two things interesting, compelling or funny.
Speaker 2: My last question for you, what's more important to you?
Speaker 2: Respect or love?
Speaker 3: Love? But I care about being respected, absolutely, it's close.
Speaker 3: But love is obviously more important than respect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but love requires a certain amount of guard dropping.
Speaker 2: I think as we get older, it's harder to drop
Speaker 2: our guard.
Speaker 4: You know, yeah, maybe yeah, or it becomes easier depending
Speaker 4: on you know, how self actualized you become as a
Speaker 4: as a grown person. I think I was probably much
Speaker 4: more guarded in my twenties than.
Speaker 3: I am now.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know, at the end of every conversation I have,
Speaker 2: I have to figure out what it is that I've
Speaker 2: learned from you, and I will say that probably people
Speaker 2: are always saying live in the present, and to me
Speaker 2: that sounds like a good sound bite, and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: live in the present. But you know, I'm such a
Speaker 2: meticulous planner. And of course I'm a meticulous planner because
Speaker 2: of whatever trauma is in my rear view mirror in
Speaker 2: the past makes me think, oh, I got to plan
Speaker 2: my future out. And so for me, one of the
Speaker 2: hardest things ever is living in the present. But more
Speaker 2: than that, you're the first person that I've heard that
Speaker 2: really makes not working sound appealing to me. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: I might have to seriously take you on your offer.
Speaker 2: I'm getting your information when we're done this taping, but
Speaker 2: I will absolutely take you on your offer because I
Speaker 2: just I need advice on I don't know where to
Speaker 2: go or who to I mean, for a person that
Speaker 2: did at least two hundred and fifty days, like I've
Speaker 2: traveled the world at least fifteen times over as a musician.
Speaker 2: But you know, I don't feel comfortable unless I am
Speaker 2: doing a three hour show or DJing at night, So
Speaker 2: like to go, nothing is like terrifying for me.
Speaker 1: So I think this kismet that we're.
Speaker 2: Talking right now because I need someone to convince.
Speaker 1: Me of that. I thank you for that.
Speaker 3: Text, Quest, I appreciate it for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Chelse.
Speaker 2: The Quest Love Show is hosted by me Amir Quest
Speaker 2: Love Thompson. The executive producers are Sean g Brian Calhoun,
Speaker 2: and Me. Produced by Brittany Benjamin and Jake Paine.
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