WEBVTT - Episode 156: Move over, you're not eating it right! (Feat. Lloyd) 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:05.640 What's up. It's a lift service. This is a really 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:08.879 really special one. Yes. First of all, everybody's chatting before 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:11.840 we even tearing the mics on. I mean, but I'm 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:20.600 Angela ye MacGuire, Oh, I mean Stephanie hold off. No, no, 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.239 we're not gonna start her lover, and see what I mean. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.680 We wanted her to hold up because especially because I'm 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:30.560 Luria and guests, who's back to actually be on lift 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:34.760 service because she's been away for so long. I'm here, 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:38.280 everybody's asking used to saying my name after I know 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:43.040 and it's been seven months and me saying it it's 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:45.320 not seven months. I've only been in l a for 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:51.160 four months, okay seven to number. And speaking of people 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:56.880 coming back, we got Lloyd here as well, special guests 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:00.240 and just how we like, we love motherfucker it to 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.880 it like this. It's not it's gonna be fine. You know, 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.039 you get tricky. We have the guitar, take off the 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:12.640 clothes and when you come in here naked, this is 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:15.440 false advertisement. That's what I thought we was getting good 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.840 going on. We thought he was getting naked Lloyd. But 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:21.959 I do think people should be able to walk around 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.320 like that. Listen me to for real, I'm naked all 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.840 the time. I can't make it out. People do really 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:29.840 high behind a lot of ship a lot. And now 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:32.160 that I'm thinking about it, this morning, I was having 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.480 a dream that I was naked in the street. Yeah, 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:38.680 yeah you should. You should live your dreams. I will 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.640 say this, though, I do think sometimes if we could 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:44.440 all be naked, I think maybe we would know what 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:49.240 we're getting into. That's a fact. There's a show Dating Dating. Yeah, 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.840 I had a dream about being on there once. Really 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.440 I did an album shoot ever with you? I agree 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.040 with you because if I was on Dating naked, I 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.440 could tell you right away if I was with you 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.040 or not. That's not fair for guys. I'm getting some 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.640 guys that actually growers and our showers, so we might 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:09.320 think we're getting something, but then bang. Or he might 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:12.040 be a female with your period. What happens when you 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:18.440 got your period? Not a do it? Some guys dicks 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.000 like really small until they get hard, right Like it's 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:28.760 a grower maybe maybe, but you can't help us anyway. 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:33.280 I'm saying grower, not a shower. You never heard that expression. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.240 He's a growing but I have now though your large 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.480 shower clearly he's a shower. He don't need to grow. 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:43.120 Some people need to grow. Were you winning out grower? 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.799 Is it five to or is it fine? Is it 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:53.840 the size of the guitar for years? We're fine? What's 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:56.160 tell us now? I don't think I could tell you 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:58.360 about me like that. I think you have to ask 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.520 somebody I was with. That's what we want to know. 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.919 Who can we ask? Because you are very private, private 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:08.600 and secretive. You ain't been linked. Anybody's hit it with Lloyd. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:10.440 Hit us up right now, let us know. It's he 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:13.160 a grower or it's her shower. I don't want my baby, mom. Now, 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:18.400 that's that's nice. River River. That's your son's name? My son? 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.760 How old is he? He's eleven months, he'll be a 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:29.760 little little boy. I'm expecting my second to it's like 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.600 a son or second we don't know. We don't delivery. 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.440 And then like that pig two names with your son. 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.760 Yeah nice, you're not gonna have one of those fancy 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:44.600 gender revealed parties. Put blue chem trails in the sky. 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:46.720 But yeah, what do you buy? Do you buy like 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.160 yellow clothes for them to come? Now in the fact, 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.320 it's dope because you end up not getting a lot 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.920 of clothes. You get more to other ships. You really 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.920 need the smartest thing you could clothes, you know, I 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:01.360 learned fast ship. They don't happen. And he's never wearing 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:07.200 newborn size ever. My son and my son is, he's 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:12.720 a big guy. He's a big baby. Eight month right exactly. 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:15.120 He's wearing eighteen or twenty four months right now and 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.440 he's eleven months. That's how my son was. Boys are 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.720 like my man, Yes I am, but yeah, but I'm 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.159 expecting my second now. And what's funny is I was 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.560 there for the birth to help with the delivery, you know, 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:30.880 and it really let me see her in a different 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:34.719 light for real. I mean I encourage and having a 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:39.640 child to at least experience. I looked at everything, but 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.960 I'm like that though I want to see what's going on. 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:44.640 I tried to record he was you know, it's crazy, 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:47.600 but like this is very personal on the table. But 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.840 right after, I mean even during, I was saying to myself, 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.720 I'm never going to touch this bitch again. That's why 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.440 I never look for her again. Like we could just 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.720 be co parents. That's the thing now, you know what, 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:04.360 I and just be party, never doing this ship ever again, 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.680 and then it was like it was like it was 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:11.640 like two weeks later and that damn little pouch start 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:16.520 going down a little bit with some little started looking 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:21.280 back to normal. So you forgot about but you have 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.800 to wait a little while. I was supposed to wait 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:26.440 three weeks. Yeah, I think I waited like three weeks 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.600 in a day, okay, yeah, yeah for me and my 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.960 son's father when we he looked at it right and 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.600 he's like, you know, like he's just like, oh my god, 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:41.560 like I'm sorry that that happens to your pussy. And 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.720 I'm like, yo, like it's not a big deal, like 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.760 what happened, Like it's a human thing. But then my 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.320 sister showed me the video of it, and I was like, 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.280 how you I got so mad at him, like you're 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:53.600 really gonna look at me like that? How dare you 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.640 stare at that? I was, But I would say, this, man, 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.800 it's like a totally different it's a totally different appreciation 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:03.000 of what it means. Yeah, a woman for real, you 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:05.800 know what I mean, Like on so many levels, and 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.840 just to see what chalk endure, you know what I mean, 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.200 like childbirth of course, but even just on a day 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.800 to day basis, I don't think a lot of dudes 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:17.920 could be a woman, you know what I mean. It's 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:21.440 just and when she was pregnant, I will always she 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.960 would be complaining about certain stuff, you know, and I said, 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:28.240 oh man, you know what I always say, Serena Williams 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:33.320 one the goddamn women. You can do it. You could 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:43.640 do it. You can everybody, Serena Williams you're talking about. 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:47.040 But because I was your feel that's somebody. But even that. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:49.680 But I'm like that thought. That's why That's what makes 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:52.440 me a good art musician too, though, is I'm always 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:54.920 like we like they say nothing, you could do it, 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.560 you could do it, you could do more, you do more, 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.960 do more. But it should have been like, well Michael 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:04.120 Jackson waiting time, but what's what up? But but I'm 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:06.400 the kind of first and that probably would have motivated me. 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.040 Not Michael Jackson did that would have motivated me. Now 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:12.800 with child you know, with child birth, that's probably just 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:19.960 suck up, like it was just taking up. Yeah, that's 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:22.920 would I feel like taking a chap, Yeah, because times 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:26.080 have paid it and they feel like something dude taking ship. 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:32.080 Giving the birth that happens that happens. She must happened 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:34.840 to me real, everything's coming out of it, everything's coming 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:36.680 out for real, and they had to put a sucking 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:40.480 oxygen mask on. He almost died. And you're not even 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:49.960 the one almost missed what happened? Please, you might have 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:54.120 been like, Serena didn't pass out. Movie happens in the movie. 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:55.920 But I was going to say that in the movie, 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.000 the man always passes out and they'd be in a 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:04.040 wheelchair pass out. But you will say this though, it's 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:09.320 like snap back. She don't believed. No, she didn't breastfeed, okay, 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:11.720 because I know they said that. She said that was 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:15.080 more painful than it was to me to kid. Yeah, 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:18.800 but you see, every woman is different. Because I don't agree. 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:22.360 I don't feel like giving birth feels like you're constipated. 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:25.640 Ship ship. I felt like when she came out, I 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.640 just felt like it was such a relief, like the 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.080 same feel when you got a guy. That doesn't sound 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:39.160 too bad to me. That's that's where great girls don't 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.760 take a ship. I feel like a new person. I 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:45.680 had a new person. I love that about taking this ship. 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:53.199 The more they spank no, no, you spent so much 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.920 time trying to squeeze that ship in the public. Just 0:08:56.960 --> 0:09:00.439 start rotting in there and ship man, and once that 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:02.280 ship ain't healthy, man, just let this ship out. I 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.760 don't know what girls, because girls don't like to fart 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:11.719 in public, anyone. Why did Why did? My stepdad used 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.679 to say, that's unladylike, I don't know what I mean. 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.400 I think it's so natural, Like what the fun else? 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:26.000 You're supposed to act like? It wasn't you exactly? They 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:35.520 came in here now before I leave, have you ever 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:48.920 gone to pee and shipped by accident? Shart me too crazy? 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:52.800 Before I was just dropping lemonade. Oh yeah, and then 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:54.920 you got to do an EPs and salt at the 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:57.000 end of the day. It's supposed to help you flush it. 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:00.439 And that ship actually backfired for me and I'm throwing up. 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:06.719 Now that's a detox every It seems like it was 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.199 like throwing up in between your legs. Now, I just 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.640 let the ship go. It just over there, you okay, 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:15.400 got it? And throw up this ship on the you 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:20.679 know facts, Yeah, yeah, I rather do that. G Before 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.520 we started, you said, y'all know we had it from magic, 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.240 Well not really personally, but I have been an eight 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:30.640 shift time man, I love g man. In fact, I 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:35.000 actually compare everybody I ever see at a gentleman's club 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.679 was actually it's actually home girls with my home girl Helen. Yes. Right, 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:45.520 So that's how I kind of got put onto the 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:49.000 first times actually going to a strip club when you 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:52.320 dance for me, right. The first time I went, I 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.120 was in St. Louis. I was with my part of 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:58.320 Tea Love who came up with Nellie. He took me 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.440 to this place called Bottoms up on the East Side. 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.360 On the East Side, they do this thing and they 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.120 was like, oh, they're gonna make you feel like royalty. 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:07.480 And they came in there and they said, we're gonna 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.560 do roll call, right, so they did roll CARDI bro 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:11.800 all the girls out, introduced all the girls, and all 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:14.160 the girls make their way around the club and do 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:16.200 something for each person and then you give him something 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:19.319 and the next girl come same thing, and it was like, 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.240 you know, all the girls was cool. And then this 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.560 one ship came up there and they said baby girl. 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.000 She was the feature and she was pregnant like a month. 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:32.360 She was like six months pregnant, some showing and I 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:37.080 was like, oh my god, the baby girl she was 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.280 the feature and came and did some poetry and and 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:43.160 then made some stuff. But she was pregnant, y'all. Na man, yeah, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:47.080 I was just like, wow, me up. I gave her something, 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:51.719 I said, get the baby something, and then and then 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.040 and then. So the first time I went in Atlanta 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:56.880 was Magic City, right, I think it was. I don't 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:58.720 know if it was a Monday or not, but losing 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.000 that mother, so it probably wasn't. It was because she 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.280 was the best, and Helen was like, we're gonna see 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.400 my girl. She dope and me and Helen we both 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:10.240 used to dance together when she was so so when 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.840 we go to the club, we was looking at the 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:16.000 talent like we're looking at the beast mode type of 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:21.120 we ain't really looking at It's like, yo, fucking she 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.640 dopest ship type of ship. And we went and g came. 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:27.400 She did a fucking thing just for us. The club 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.640 was fucking packed. It was crazy in there, and she 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:32.920 came and just danced for us for a good second. 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:38.440 And I fucking spent all my Christmas and I didn't. 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:40.360 I went home. I was like, man, what then against 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:46.520 my family? Like iired, I was so inspired on the 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.440 time I ever did that with the first time I 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:51.160 went to an all black church because I grew up 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:52.839 Catholic from New Orleans. The first time I went to 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:54.960 all black church, and then people were passing out of ship. 0:12:55.040 --> 0:13:00.280 Now I gave all the money I had. My said, 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.840 it was really the only other time my spirit was 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:09.080 moved so much. And then and then so I'm like, 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.040 you know, she was like the homie, so I probably 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.599 was doing some sh it I wasn't supposed to do 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:14.840 and she wasn't tripping. But another time I went, I 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:18.960 went to a spot I went to a one time 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.440 anybody was talking about honest. So I'm in there and 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.000 I got about you know, I'm not I'm a cheap, 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.520 real cheap person. So I spent the thousand. I had 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:30.439 a thousand to spin, and that's a lot for me 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.600 because I'm like, I'm not getting that back right, So 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.400 so I'm like, I'm gonna just have it. It's gonna 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.679 look all right, just in case maybe my brother might 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.200 want to do something. We're gonna just do this. So 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.840 I'm getting there, the girl is dancing for me, and 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.960 I'm like thinking, I'm in the fucking music video. So 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:53.120 I'm just right out of the money on the floor 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.200 at the end of the thing. So and then I 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.720 also noticed that some of the money was kind of flying. 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:01.080 So another girl came over there was oh this me too. 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:06.920 Oh wait, man, this ship side of control. Right. So 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:10.400 then at the end that the girl says, okay, now 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.800 you owe me such and such and such, and said, 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:18.240 I got the same face got on right now for right. 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.920 He's like, no matter how long she was, could have 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:23.560 been up for two seconds. The money I had spent 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:28.160 on the floor for the dance, right, she says, no, No, 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:30.880 the money that you're throw on the floor is tips. 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.520 Oh she tried, you, she said. She said she was 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.520 trying to get somebody get show money and you know, dances. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.080 I said, look, if you said you don't pick that 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:46.960 ship up right now, I said, that's everything right there 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:54.320 for you mother. Right, she tried to try to try. 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.960 She tried to that more than technically, it's ten dollars 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.560 a song. So if she was over there, right, So, 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.000 if she was over there for ten songs, that's a 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:08.120 hundred dollars. You ain't pay a thousand dollars. But I 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.400 gave him more than just a dance. But me, that's 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:12.920 how we do that or at least at magic. That's 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.280 how we did the equation, like ten dollars a song. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:16.880 If I feel like I ain't got enough for ten 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.480 dollars home, then I'm gonna say, all right, well dota. 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.000 But if if it's a pile of money on the floor, 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:22.680 then I'm gonna take that and keep it. And she's 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.480 kind of mad at somebody only gave you ten dollars 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.560 to but yeah, we got that. Yeah, but got the 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.600 point that he sat he was cheap. It was probably 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:35.600 fifty dollars. Lloyd says, he said dollars and one so's 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.360 it's a hundred dollars band. So even if he popped 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.280 the hunted band on it, that's ten songs that she 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:44.760 danced tonight. That's why I said, how long was she 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:47.000 over there? Man? When I was a shupper back in 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:51.160 the days of dance was like a different kind of strip. 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:53.960 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the resident hood. We're talking about 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:58.320 the hood d club. Yeah, I wasn't the caucasion. A 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:01.120 whole different world. So gentlemen's clubs is forty dollars dance, 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:03.880 and they're different all over the world. It's differently because 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:09.400 even you know in Australia the currencies and coins. So 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:13.920 you can have a two dollar coin x amount of 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.040 dollar like a five dollar coin and some ship. So 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:18.440 what you gotta do is you gotta pay for like 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:20.840 the dances in advance. You gotta get like a bundle. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.040 You can't be throwing a coin, you can't. You can't 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:43.040 do that. You put in ashole like one credit. A 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:47.360 lot of club etiquette going. Now let me ask you. 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:49.480 Let's back up a little bit though, so how did 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.640 you manage to get locked down? Because now you're in 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.640 a committed relationship, a second child on the way. So 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.840 what made this woman special? I realized less is more, 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.880 to be honest, and I've lived in my life like 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:03.240 a tourist, you know what I mean. Like when I 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:06.560 first came into game, I was just I want to 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.679 just savage mode. I fucking want to be everywhere. I 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:13.919 want to do everything. Nobody's gonna tell me nothing. I 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:17.080 don't have to live by these rules that you know, 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.320 society puts on me and all this kind of ship. 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.440 And then I also had a little bit of power 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.399 and influence, so I think just naturally, you know, just 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.040 you know, jumping off the porch for the first time, 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.320 I just pretty much existed like a tourist. I come through, 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.800 I break some ship and then the fun. Yeah. And 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.399 then the older I got, the more attached I started 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:40.680 becoming the things that just meant way more than that 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.160 to me, you know, Like the first the first catalyst 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:46.679 I think was my niece when she was born, and 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.359 I was there for that, helping my sister through medical school, 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:51.280 and then I was I took my sister to get 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.359 her last meal. I was there with my niece, and 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:58.040 I remember like how she just would look at me. 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.359 You know. Sometimes when she would get older, the first 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.080 thing she would do is she would run in my room. 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:04.840 She said, oh a lot like wake up, wake up, 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.159 let's dance because I gotta. I got a turntable in 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:10.200 my room where I played my vinyl and we put 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.120 music on and we just start getting down, she laughing, 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:14.800 and I love you so much that she said, come 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:16.880 hugging me. And then I was like, you know what 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.520 every woman I ever been with is this starts off 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.560 as this, you know what I'm saying. And then I 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:26.560 also realized that a lot of the girls that I 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:31.560 was with, it wasn't really they fault that they were 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.280 kind of I don't want to say being taken advantage of, 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.600 but that just that they didn't look at it like that, 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.280 you know what I mean, that they was okay with 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.960 a lot of ship, because a lot of ship stems 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:48.160 back to a lot of things, you know, and there 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.280 or somebody might have been too strict on you or 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:53.880 not there enough, or you know, you might have been 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.040 taking advantage of when you was young girls, just all 0:18:57.080 --> 0:18:59.440 these things that go into the makings of a person. 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.200 So the all yere I got, the more I start 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.280 trying to understand that, like the why behind things, and 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:08.119 it just eliminated that tourist aspect out of my life. 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:11.920 So then I started to just appreciate people, like really 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.080 seeing a person for who they was, maybe what they've 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.920 been through that I never understood, you know what I mean. 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:20.800 And then from there it was just like I kind 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:26.240 of lost the desire to to be that anymore. And savage, yeah, 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.800 just yeah, pretty much to be selfish really in a 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:34.679 in a sense. And um, I also think that, um 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:37.600 it was easier easier for me once I curved out 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.879 other temptation in my life because a lot of things 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:42.960 are temptation for us, you know, what I mean, and 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:45.639 they kind of like are representative of each other. So 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:49.159 my first thing was was food. My first thing was 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:52.479 to take the temptation of food out because I fucking 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:55.760 love food and I eat food for satisfaction. I don't 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:58.000 eat it for nourishing. I eat it because I craving. 0:19:58.440 --> 0:20:00.760 I wanted, I desire it, and I could get it 0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:03.240 when I wanted. You became a vegan, so I became 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:05.800 a vegetarian, and a vegan. I was going in and out, 0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:08.920 you know, depending on depending on what was going on 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:13.560 and um, and that actually ended up taking most of 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:17.159 my time and energy, and then it started to trickle 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:19.199 out in other aspects of my life. So then I 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:21.320 was like, yo, you know what, I want everyone around 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:24.159 me to be like that. I want everybody around me 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:26.600 to value they ship, to have respect for each other, 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:29.480 to you know, that kind of thing. And then it 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:32.440 just that ship became my music, my life, my everything. 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:35.320 Me and Lloyd had the same bad things exact same day. 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:43.359 But the reason I was going to say that was 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:45.399 because a lot of times, if you guys and my 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:47.440 friends that know me know, I always had to explain 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:50.200 like why people activate the act and sometimes I don't 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:52.320 take things for face value. Like I look at somebody 0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:53.760 and my friends will be like, well, how could you 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.640 be cool with that person? And how are you okay? 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:57.719 And I'm always like, well, I can kind of understand 0:20:57.760 --> 0:20:59.640 why that person did that, because if I look at 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.000 you know, certain things that happened in their life, or 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:04.040 how they might view things differently than me than I 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.320 actually feel like sympathy toward somebody, even if they did 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.600 something sucked up to me, it usually better understanding. And 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:12.320 and let me tell you this too. This was this 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.920 was like the biggest thing for me. It was okay. 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:17.480 At one point in my life, I was in love 0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:21.159 with three women. There were three women in my life, 0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:23.320 and I was in love with different parts of each 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:26.000 one of them, and so in my mind, I was 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:28.800 bringing all of them together to make one person, right, 0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:33.080 But really I was really what I was doing was 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:36.399 I was selling myself short because I was never really 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:40.640 able to get a full experience out of a relationship, right, 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:42.600 So he was dividing it up. Yes. So then what 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:45.840 ended up happening was I started to become afraid, hesitant 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:50.800 about just one one person because I knew no one 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:54.760 person can be everything for you all the time. But really, 0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:56.800 once you get to a point where you're not even 0:21:56.880 --> 0:21:59.320 looking for that from a person, I think you kind 0:21:59.320 --> 0:22:02.760 of start moving towards being able to be with them 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:05.239 for extending amount of time. Right, And my theory was 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:08.520 like dumb shit, like, yo, I don't want to eat 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:11.320 pizza every day to say that, I used to say 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:15.159 that a lot. I get that just the fact that 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:17.680 I understand, just the fact that I could traveled so much, 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:20.880 I get to see so much, and I really experienced 0:22:20.920 --> 0:22:23.800 I'm still experiencing ship, you know, like, and then all 0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:29.000 the women in my life they gangsters, my mama, gangster gangsters, 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:32.560 Like they all say, don't trust these holes, don't don't 0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:36.440 move too fast, live your life, you know what I mean? 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:39.560 And they really don't like nobody, you know what I'm 0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:44.840 So it was like, damn, you know, well, I can't 0:22:44.840 --> 0:22:47.000 trust nothing, all the holes, I can't trust them. Right. 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:50.879 But then what end up happening was because I started 0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:54.720