Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy centralow.
Speaker 2: From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central.
Speaker 3: It's America's only sorts for news. This is the Daily
Speaker 3: Show with your homeless Daisy Line.
Speaker 4: Welcome.
Speaker 5: I'm lighting, We've done I much to talk about tonight.
Speaker 6: RFK Junior goes doctor shopping, Pete Hexith gets into a catfight,
Speaker 6: and Elon Musk is sorry for what he said when
Speaker 6: he was definitely not high. So let's check in on
Speaker 6: the best cabinet ever and another installment of the Worst Wing.
Speaker 2: What a bunch of losers.
Speaker 5: Let's start with Robert F.
Speaker 6: Kennedy, Junior Secretary of Health and the only member of
Speaker 6: Trump's cabinet to be reheated in an air frer. Earlier
Speaker 6: this week, Kennedy abruptly fired all seventeen members of the
Speaker 6: CDC's Vaccine Advisory Committee, which understandably caused a lot of
Speaker 6: concern among people who prefer not to die from an
Speaker 6: old timey Oregon trail disease. But RFK Junior has got
Speaker 6: a new batch of doctors to replace them with, so
Speaker 6: I'm sure they're all equally qualified.
Speaker 5: So let's get to know some of these vaccine experts.
Speaker 5: Some of the picks are well known vaccine critics, including
Speaker 5: doctor Robert Malone.
Speaker 1: Robert Malone who's claimed that millions of Americans were hypnotized
Speaker 1: into taking the COVID nineteen shots and has suggested those
Speaker 1: vaccines cause a form of AIDS.
Speaker 6: I think I like this guy a lot better when
Speaker 6: he was just selling us dose.
Speaker 5: Ekis.
Speaker 6: I don't always take vaccines, but when I do, they
Speaker 6: give me AIDS. Look, this guy's obviously crazy, but you
Speaker 6: can't deny there was some hypnosis going on during the pandemic,
Speaker 6: like we were washing our hands.
Speaker 5: Every day, Like what was that all about? But forget
Speaker 5: the Department of Health.
Speaker 6: Let's move on to the great work being done by
Speaker 6: Tulca Gabbert, Director of National Intelligence and the only Hawaiian
Speaker 6: who can make a loha sound like a threat. She
Speaker 6: decides which of America's secrets need to stay secret, but
Speaker 6: lately she's been getting some help.
Speaker 7: Tulsa Gabbert, head of D and I, says the government
Speaker 7: is now using artificial intelligence to speed up its work
Speaker 7: in determining which documents can be declassified and released to
Speaker 7: the public. That includes files related to the assassination of
Speaker 7: President John F.
Speaker 3: Kennedy.
Speaker 6: Cool that technology we're all scared of and have no
Speaker 6: idea how dangerous it is. Let's teach it how to
Speaker 6: kill a president? What could go wrong? Also, why are
Speaker 6: you having.
Speaker 5: AI read the JFK files for you? AI is for
Speaker 5: tedious things.
Speaker 6: These are the most exciting documents in the government. It's
Speaker 6: like asking AI to watch all the sex scenes in
Speaker 6: a pornos so you can focus on whether the pizza
Speaker 6: got delivered. Maybe I've been using AI wrong this whole time.
Speaker 6: I thought it was for doing my kids' homework and
Speaker 6: seeing what I look like as Shrek.
Speaker 5: Now stay thirsty, my friends.
Speaker 6: Let's move on to Pete hegxas Secretary of Defense and
Speaker 6: guy whose favorite cologne is Rufie. He's been actsing a
Speaker 6: bunch of medical research programs for veterans that he claims
Speaker 6: are boondoggles. But when Senator Dick Durbin called him out
Speaker 6: on it yesterday, he gave a specific example of waste
Speaker 6: and it was very specific.
Speaker 8: To give me an example of a boondoggle in medical
Speaker 8: research and our defensive I.
Speaker 9: Mean, we're talking about some stuff I should shouldn't say
Speaker 9: in public. You know, marbles in the rear ends of cats,
Speaker 9: tens of millions of dollars.
Speaker 6: Sometimes they hear about science experiments and I thank god.
Speaker 5: I am so glad.
Speaker 6: When I was growing up, no one was telling women
Speaker 6: they should be scientists.
Speaker 5: Really dodged the bullet there.
Speaker 6: To be fair, they were trying to find out why
Speaker 6: Garfield hates Mondays.
Speaker 5: Now they know. Now they know.
Speaker 6: Also, anyone who has cats knows that this isn't the
Speaker 6: weirdest idea ever. I mean, they are constantly showing us
Speaker 6: their buttholes. At some point someone's going to be like,
Speaker 6: all right, let me try something. But in case you're
Speaker 6: wondering who would fund such a ridiculous study, that would
Speaker 6: be President Trump himself. In twenty twenty, his defense departments
Speaker 6: said it was part of a revolutionary new treatment for
Speaker 6: spinal cord injuries. And that's the thing about science. It's
Speaker 6: easy to make it sound made up and stupid. It's
Speaker 6: not airtight like the Bible, and someone who just wants
Speaker 6: to cut funding can trivialize any research because, yeah, trying
Speaker 6: to make dogs salivate by ringing a bell sounds weird,
Speaker 6: but it proved an important point that dogs love bells.
Speaker 5: I think I don't know.
Speaker 6: I failed psych But this is a great example of
Speaker 6: how anti science the Trump administration is. When Pete Hegseeth
Speaker 6: talks about science, he makes it sound stupid, and when
Speaker 6: RFK Junior talks about it, he makes it sound like
Speaker 6: someone dropped a fork in the garbage disposal. Let's move
Speaker 6: on to the reason your horse's prescriptions are out of stock.
Speaker 5: Elon Musk.
Speaker 6: Last week he got into a fight with Donald Trump
Speaker 6: that got so ugly. He claimed that Trump is in
Speaker 6: the Epstein files. The friendship seemed unsalvagable, but it turns
Speaker 6: out it wasn't quite as cyberf as we thought.
Speaker 10: The world's richest man is now apologizing to the world's
Speaker 10: most powerful man, Musk backing away from some of his
Speaker 10: online attacks, posting this apology. I regret some of my
Speaker 10: posts about President Trump last week.
Speaker 3: They went too far.
Speaker 6: No no no no no no no no no no
Speaker 6: no no. You cannot Whoopsie Daisy your way out of
Speaker 6: saying someone's.
Speaker 5: In the Epstein files.
Speaker 6: It's not like saying sorry, I slammed the door, Sorry
Speaker 6: I shoved marbles up your cat's butt. I mean, I'm
Speaker 6: glad he apologized, because I guess it showed US exactly
Speaker 6: how long it takes for ketamine to wear off. Let's
Speaker 6: move on from the worst wing, because America is having
Speaker 6: a hard time right now. The military is invading California.
Speaker 6: US senators are getting manhandled by federal agents, and people
Speaker 6: are about to be run off their medicaid. And President
Speaker 6: Trump is hearing everyone's concerns and he's decided to rush
Speaker 6: to where he's needed the most, the THEATA. President Donald
Speaker 6: Trump going to see a performance of le Mez at
Speaker 6: the Kennedy Center on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Do you identify more with Jean Valjean or Javert. That's
Speaker 2: a last part of that question.
Speaker 5: That's tough.
Speaker 2: I you better answer that one, Honey. I don't know.
Speaker 6: I don't know what's worse that A reporter thought it
Speaker 6: was a good idea to ask Trump if he's the
Speaker 6: hero or the villain or that.
Speaker 5: Trump's response was, Oh, that's a tough question. But while Trump.
Speaker 6: Ponders which Leman's character he is, activists are planning nationwide
Speaker 6: protests this weekend. For more on those protests, we go
Speaker 6: live to Michael Costa in Los Angeles and.
Speaker 5: Jordan Klepper in DJ.
Speaker 2: Michael with you.
Speaker 5: What's the latest in la does he.
Speaker 11: Protesters here are still fuming about Trump sending marines into
Speaker 11: the city. It was the biggest overreaction since the time
Speaker 11: that ice cream truck didn't have rainbow sprinkles, so I
Speaker 11: slashed its tires.
Speaker 3: Costa don't do chalk sprinks.
Speaker 11: Okay, The point is these the tension raids are a
Speaker 11: cruel display of Trump's villainy. He's definitely the jauvert of
Speaker 11: our time.
Speaker 6: Okay, thank you, Michael and Jordan. How are protestsing DC feeling?
Speaker 8: The protesters in DC are equally upset and want to
Speaker 8: see an end to these cruel raids. And by the way,
Speaker 8: Trump is not javert. Costa is way off. But uh,
Speaker 8: what do you expect from a guy who only hears
Speaker 8: Broadway songs that they show up in a pornhub video.
Speaker 11: Well, I'm sorry, I guess Jordan thinks Trump is Jean Valjean,
Speaker 11: the redeemed Catholic, so saintly that he adopts a prostitutes child. Jordan,
Speaker 11: you're a few rogers short of a hammer.
Speaker 2: Start, Hu, Guys, I.
Speaker 6: Think we're getting a little distracted here. Let's focus on
Speaker 6: the tests, not about your musical taste.
Speaker 8: No problem for cossa. He doesn't have any The point
Speaker 8: is Dessi, the protester see Trump as a godless con artist,
Speaker 8: much like Tenardier, the corrupt innkeeper, which Michael would know
Speaker 8: if he weren't the kind of person who thinks guys
Speaker 8: and dolls is a strip club in Peoriadasi.
Speaker 11: I'll tell you the only thing protesters fear more than
Speaker 11: the Marines right now, it's hearing Jordan Klepper bomb another audition,
Speaker 11: trying to nail the riff in defying gravity.
Speaker 8: It's not about getting the work from the audition.
Speaker 3: The audition is the work. You're flat on every shark,
Speaker 3: every shark. Is that right?
Speaker 10: Is that right?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 8: Time to drop the bomb. Michael is in the scene files.
Speaker 2: Who whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 3: That's out a line.
Speaker 8: Okay, okay, okay, okay, you know what, you know what,
Speaker 8: you're right. I regret what I said. I've been on
Speaker 8: ketamine this whole time.
Speaker 6: Okay better No, wait, Jordan is consta in the Eine files.
Speaker 3: I said, I'm sorry, Let's move on.
Speaker 11: Yeah, DESI let it go. That's from that's from Frozen, Jordan.
Speaker 11: I thought a musical for children would be more up
Speaker 11: your speed.
Speaker 8: Okay, dnamed Zella is a national treasure costa, thank you
Speaker 8: very much.
Speaker 3: DESI excuse me? Can I interrupt? Oh?
Speaker 5: Yes, Josh Sason, what are you?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I snatched me up at a protest and dropped me
Speaker 4: in the desert. That's not even protocol. They just doing
Speaker 4: whatever now, all right, I don't know where I am.
Speaker 4: I could be in Phoenix. I could be in Yemen.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I hope I'm not in Phoenix.
Speaker 8: Oh that that sounds truly awful. So, Josh, do you
Speaker 8: think Trump is a javert?
Speaker 3: Who?
Speaker 2: I need help?
Speaker 11: And we're gonna get your help, buddy, But first you
Speaker 11: gotta tell us which character Trump would be in le miz?
Speaker 3: Is that the one with the cats? What means the
Speaker 3: one the cats?
Speaker 2: Gee?
Speaker 3: Today, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I don't spend all my time watching white people sing.
Speaker 8: Okay, don't make this about race.
Speaker 11: Yeah, there's a proud black tradition in theater. I just
Speaker 11: saw Audrey McDonald and Gypsy.
Speaker 3: Fine, you're an ally. Is someone gonna help me? Yeah?
Speaker 11: Yeah, I'll help you by getting you a rush ticket
Speaker 11: to cabaret.
Speaker 3: Let's start. Then, of course you pick cabaret.
Speaker 8: Of course it's cabaret with Yukasta.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, that's enough, Josh Josh Johnson.
Speaker 7: Michael Conton, we get the first take from sitting in Smithson.
Speaker 5: If he's been.
Speaker 6: On Fable Television anytime in the last few months, you
Speaker 6: may have stumbled across stephen A. Smith spouting opinions about
Speaker 6: well everything. But how did he become so ubiquitous. Let's
Speaker 6: find out in a brand new daily show agraphy.
Speaker 2: We live in a world of takes.
Speaker 10: JJ would have to be a lunatic to take the
Speaker 10: Lakers breeze of fucking plissy.
Speaker 2: Hot takes, quick takes, retakes, mistakes.
Speaker 6: I won't get them, Kidney, absolute effing snob.
Speaker 2: I'm drinking like Monster energy drinks sometimes, which are piss magnets.
Speaker 2: But we all know there's only one king of takes.
Speaker 3: You can't be the king without a crime. You cannot
Speaker 3: be the king without the crime.
Speaker 2: This is the daily show agraphy of Stephen A. Smith.
Speaker 2: Greatest of all take caverns, Stephen A had an optimal
Speaker 2: childhood for his future reign.
Speaker 12: On the Broms raised in Queen's reigns about the greatest
Speaker 12: mind in the world.
Speaker 2: That's right, every other mom in the world is a scrub.
Speaker 2: I don't care if your mother Teresa or that hot
Speaker 2: mom from the Brady Bunch. Those moms should be riding
Speaker 2: the bench behind. Janet Smith buying a career as an athlete.
Speaker 2: He enrolled in college at the Fashion Institute of Technology.
Speaker 2: It's called seeing the whole field people.
Speaker 13: It was primearily a girls' school, and the other dudes
Speaker 13: were homosexual and left it all.
Speaker 2: To up fit. Might not have the greatest tradition of sports,
Speaker 2: but it definitely had a playoff. Eventually, he put down
Speaker 2: the sewing needle and picked up the rock, transferring to
Speaker 2: the greatest basketball program in North Carolina, excluding all the
Speaker 2: other ones.
Speaker 13: I hit seventeen straight three points saw me the scholarship
Speaker 13: on a spot.
Speaker 2: That's right. Stephen A. Smith was the king of threes
Speaker 2: until he started playing actual games and became the king
Speaker 2: of one point five's per game.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out how you ever one and
Speaker 3: a half for like, don't you gift two?
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, stephen A could not explain the mathematics, as he
Speaker 2: had attended the Fashion Institute of Technology. But if Smith
Speaker 2: struggled in the paint, he dominated in the Prince, joining
Speaker 2: the student newspaper and immediately proving himself the top college
Speaker 2: take ham in the country with a legendary dunk on his.
Speaker 3: Own Hall of Fame coach.
Speaker 2: That earned him a post college stint in newspapers and radio.
Speaker 2: And then stephen A was called up to the big league.
Speaker 2: It was the moment he'd been training for his whole life.
Speaker 3: I had no television training whatsoever.
Speaker 2: Okay, that didn't matter, so I went.
Speaker 4: To the next best plan, be myself, say what I feel.
Speaker 2: Yes, he had the rare ability to open his mouth
Speaker 2: and let words form indis sentences that people could hear
Speaker 2: on TV. No one had seen anything like it before.
Speaker 2: Smith was dropping takes from everywhere. Hot take.
Speaker 3: This man was a bona fide scrub.
Speaker 2: He can't play loud takes Aaron Bron is arid, freaking
Speaker 2: run louder takes a sylum who was on crap hour
Speaker 2: on freaking screaming takes.
Speaker 10: Stinks that home was over me every time my name
Speaker 10: is associated.
Speaker 3: With this damn franchise. Weirdly Quiet takes Lebron James is
Speaker 3: the goat.
Speaker 2: Stephen A was the best ESPN had ever seen. I mean,
Speaker 2: not as good as in the Golden Age. But since then,
Speaker 2: oh there he is the natural. He was poetic, it
Speaker 2: was Shakespearerian and he never yelled. But the trophy he
Speaker 2: really needed was his own catchphrase. Every great broadcaster in
Speaker 2: history has had.
Speaker 5: One good night.
Speaker 2: Yes, and soon Stephen A. Smith hit upon something equally iconic.
Speaker 3: Stay off the weed.
Speaker 10: Don't stay off the weed, stay off the damn weed.
Speaker 2: Or hear me out, maybe trial weed horrible. It was
Speaker 2: time for Smith to make his biggest move yet, coming
Speaker 2: for the reigning king of takes himself.
Speaker 13: There are toms when I look at you, you should
Speaker 13: just be flat out.
Speaker 3: Of shame of yourself. Don't have a charity?
Speaker 2: Are the hell to question?
Speaker 3: Night zimpit I'm talking.
Speaker 2: They were the Larry Bird and Magic Johnson of yelling
Speaker 2: at the top of their lungs. Once Smith ousted his rival,
Speaker 2: he began breaking take records left and right. We're talking
Speaker 2: three hundred takes a day, with the sentence completion percentage
Speaker 2: of ninety three point three percent and off the charts
Speaker 2: decibel levels. The man even had a correct prediction average
Speaker 2: of well, that one doesn't matter. In twenty twenty five,
Speaker 2: Smith officially earned his greatest of all take avers Crown
Speaker 2: a five year, one hundred million dollar contract. Ah Now
Speaker 2: his takes can no longer be contained by the world
Speaker 2: of sports.
Speaker 3: I have always been against Wolf Kolching.
Speaker 13: Now what I'm gonna say, Shamanda because it reminds me
Speaker 13: of me because of the foyhead. I am not about
Speaker 13: to sit here in Augwood have grown ass man about
Speaker 13: the movie?
Speaker 4: Call?
Speaker 3: Come on, Leo Craney is a thing. We have one.
Speaker 3: Now we on death's door. We might as well go
Speaker 3: down swinging. Steven A.
Speaker 13: What is the correct way to wipe yourself standing the city?
Speaker 3: That is a nasty ask question.
Speaker 2: That's the difference between just talking shit and having a
Speaker 2: take on shit. But what a man has taken all
Speaker 2: there is to take?
Speaker 12: I have spewed an opinion on over forty five thousand
Speaker 12: issues in my career on first.
Speaker 2: Take, what takes or left for the taking? Smith?
Speaker 1: Who is floating a potential twenty twenty eight presidential run.
Speaker 5: There is somebody else is thinking of running president? Stephen A.
Speaker 2: Smith?
Speaker 13: The Democratic Party look so pathetic after this election.
Speaker 2: I'm entitain Okay, hold up, does anyone really think a
Speaker 2: loud mouthed TV personality with endless opinions no qualifications and
Speaker 2: a bad hairline would be a plausible candidate for president
Speaker 2: of the United States.
Speaker 9: I've been pretty good at picking people and picking candidates,
Speaker 9: and I will tell you I'd love to see him run.
Speaker 2: Oh right, God damn it, Hi, darly show, you had
Speaker 2: your fornight, you.
Speaker 12: Had guess what, it still was a sorry ass take.
Speaker 13: You got some work to do, and maybe, just maybe
Speaker 13: you'll do it.
Speaker 3: What if you stay off the week? Welcome Baby Show.
Speaker 6: My jef Night is an actor writer a comedian new
Speaker 6: memoir called Actress of a Certain Age.
Speaker 5: Please welcome Jeff Hiller.
Speaker 6: I love having to stand on my tippy toes in
Speaker 6: heels to hug you.
Speaker 14: Yeah, I'm a real big monster.
Speaker 5: You are a tall drink of water. Thank you for
Speaker 5: being here.
Speaker 6: I'm such a fan of yours and I enjoyed this
Speaker 6: book so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 5: Actress of a Certain Age.
Speaker 14: Actress of a Certain Age. It's all about my sort
Speaker 14: of humiliating experiences in my career. Yes, and I thought,
Speaker 14: but you know, I've made it. Things are all better now.
Speaker 14: And then when I opened the book, there's a typo
Speaker 14: on the cover of my book Actress of a Satin Age,
Speaker 14: not Today's cetanin not today.
Speaker 6: Who judges a book by any Please?
Speaker 3: Actually don't please, don't listen.
Speaker 6: I grew up in Kentucky public school, so I thought
Speaker 6: this was how you spell certain, So I.
Speaker 5: Think you're okay.
Speaker 14: I see, I grew up in Texas where everything's fine
Speaker 14: for sure.
Speaker 5: Sure it is. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6: I love how each of your chapters in your book
Speaker 6: is titled for a different actor, a different actor's memoir.
Speaker 14: Exactly. Yeah, because I read a lot of celebrity memoirs.
Speaker 6: Yes, you talk about it in here, and then there's
Speaker 6: a footnote at the at the bottom of the front
Speaker 6: page of the chapter that says when that actor has
Speaker 6: has met mainstream fame.
Speaker 14: Exactly got their big break. Because I always read the
Speaker 14: celebrity ones and they don't always say exactly how old
Speaker 14: they are. Then I have to go get a calculator,
Speaker 14: look up IMDb, and then check it out and figure
Speaker 14: out how old they were, and then compared to how
Speaker 14: old I am when I'm reading the book. And spoiler alert,
Speaker 14: it was never a consoling math equation.
Speaker 5: That was such a unique detail. What made you want
Speaker 5: to share that?
Speaker 14: Well, when I got this opportunity to write a celebrity
Speaker 14: memoir with the really loose definition of the word celebrity.
Speaker 14: I wanted to, you know, rely on the fact that
Speaker 14: I have read all of these memoirs. And I also
Speaker 14: wanted to write it for other people who maybe committed
Speaker 14: the cardinal sin of aging past forty without realizing all
Speaker 14: of the dreams that they wanted in their life and
Speaker 14: and and have a little bit of hope in it.
Speaker 14: So I talk about how compare invites despair. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 14: And I did come up with that on my own.
Speaker 3: I didn't. It's a pretty hack cliche.
Speaker 5: Actually that should go in your next memoir. Yeah, I think.
Speaker 14: That that which But it'll say compare invites to pair?
Speaker 5: Oh, your publish Who was your publisher?
Speaker 14: Yes, I'm going to say about love exactly. It was
Speaker 14: some girl at Starbucks and I said, Jeff, I was like,
Speaker 14: it doesn't start with an h what are you doing?
Speaker 5: Oh my god?
Speaker 6: I so you Your IMDb reads like a comedy sizzle
Speaker 6: reel of all time great comedies. But I think most
Speaker 6: people know you're know you from your beautiful work on
Speaker 6: Somebody Somewhere.
Speaker 10: Thank You.
Speaker 14: Yes, I love that show.
Speaker 6: It is such a beautiful show. It is so funny
Speaker 6: and so heartfelt. Tell me if people haven't seen it,
Speaker 6: tell us what it's about.
Speaker 14: Oh, you should see it.
Speaker 5: You should see it. Yeah, leave now to see it.
Speaker 5: We'll wait here.
Speaker 14: It's on you know Max or HBO. I don't know
Speaker 14: what HBO Max. And it's about people in Kansas who
Speaker 14: have found their family and and it's also about being
Speaker 14: queer and in the Midwest and being someone who isn't
Speaker 14: giving up on yourself, which is a lot of what
Speaker 14: the book is about too. And so yeah, it's good.
Speaker 14: It's not like rewatching Gray's Anatomy. It's not like a
Speaker 14: big commitment. It's only three seasons one season, and is
Speaker 14: less than an Avatar movie.
Speaker 3: Yes, you'reus.
Speaker 6: It's food for the soul. It really feels so good
Speaker 6: to watch it. It is such a joy. I loved
Speaker 6: your this is Church moment and you talk about it
Speaker 6: in your book as well. Tell us what's behind what
Speaker 6: was behind that moment in the show?
Speaker 14: Well, that was just an improvisation I did that did
Speaker 14: make it into the final edit. I'm not branging about it,
Speaker 14: but I did do that, and it felt right because
Speaker 14: it was the scene about these friends who were hanging
Speaker 14: out and were joyful and we're finding each other. And
Speaker 14: my character is involved in the church, but it's having
Speaker 14: some weirdness with church. And he's saying, this moment is church.
Speaker 14: This moment where we're hanging out together and being together
Speaker 14: and having community, that's what my church is. And I
Speaker 14: think that that's true of me too, and beautiful, I
Speaker 14: think for all of us right yes, and especially right now.
Speaker 5: Times are role Yeah, they are.
Speaker 6: And you talk about growing up in the church, and
Speaker 6: you grew up Lutheran, and you have this beautiful chapter
Speaker 6: in your book that talks about when you came out
Speaker 6: to your church as a twenty two year old and
Speaker 6: you wrote this beautiful speech. It was so moving for
Speaker 6: you know, there are so many queer youth in this
Speaker 6: country that are having a hard time under attack right now.
Speaker 6: What would you say to those twenty two year old
Speaker 6: younger Jeffs that are out there struggling with that, and
Speaker 6: say Texas or other parts of the country, what would you.
Speaker 5: Say to them?
Speaker 14: Well, I would just say I'm sorry, and we got
Speaker 14: your back. And I think you know, we're in Pride
Speaker 14: month and it's a time to celebrate, but it's also
Speaker 14: a time to protest and a time to gather together
Speaker 14: and lead with compassion and hope and protection for especially
Speaker 14: the most vulnerable among us.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's absolutely right.
Speaker 6: Also, have a chapter in your book, kind of author
Speaker 6: that you talk about being bullied in junior high.
Speaker 14: Can you believe that?
Speaker 6: Well, let me just tell you, as a perpetual volunteer,
Speaker 6: hole monitor, I see you, I see you, I am
Speaker 6: with you.
Speaker 3: I thought you're gonna say, as a perpetual bully.
Speaker 5: Yeah, now that's just what I became.
Speaker 6: You you talk about you talk about how, even to
Speaker 6: this day, you were teased for how you carry your books,
Speaker 6: and even to this day you think about how you
Speaker 6: carry your books.
Speaker 14: Right, and who even has books anymore? Although this one's good. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 14: I used to carry them like this, and then a
Speaker 14: bully said carry your books like a girl, And so
Speaker 14: now I always carry things down here and it sticks
Speaker 14: with you for the whole life. And that's why it's
Speaker 14: important to protect those kids.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And you talked about like what helped you get
Speaker 6: through that time?
Speaker 14: My mom? Yeah, I had a good mom. And I
Speaker 14: actually dedicate the book to good parents because everywhere, not
Speaker 14: just my mom, because that cares about my mom, right,
Speaker 14: But I think that providing that safe space, showing your
Speaker 14: kid that they are loved no matter what, that it
Speaker 14: really is unconditional. It allows them a foundation that even
Speaker 14: when the bad things roll in, which they will inevitably do,
Speaker 14: you're still secure enough to go out there. And I
Speaker 14: had a great mom, and you know, and she had
Speaker 14: a great Texas accent, which you can hear me impersonate
Speaker 14: in the audiobook.
Speaker 5: Thank God for good moms out there.
Speaker 3: Seriously, thank God for good moms.
Speaker 6: So you mentioned you have read hundreds of celebrity memoirs.
Speaker 6: So I'm wondering if you would play a little game
Speaker 6: with me. Okay, if I name a celebrity, okay, could
Speaker 6: you give me an interesting fact about their life?
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, okay, here we go. Here we go.
Speaker 14: Barbara streisand Yes, which I listened to forty eight hours
Speaker 14: and fifteen minutes. I listened to it all. There's a
Speaker 14: lot of good ones. She's really obsessed with food. She
Speaker 14: will talk about a ravioli that's a single ra a raviolo.
Speaker 14: But the funniest fact is one of her husbands, John,
Speaker 14: who was a hairdresser, the way that they had their
Speaker 14: meat cute. He came over to do her hair, and
Speaker 14: as they were walking up the stairs, he goes nice
Speaker 14: eares and that's how they met and fell in love.
Speaker 5: Wow, he's a keeper.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Denny's on great.
Speaker 6: Okay, speaking of nice asses, Rosie Press, you.
Speaker 14: Gotta read Rosie Present's book. But also you got to
Speaker 14: listen to that one because her metaphorical voice matches her
Speaker 14: literal voice, and it's she got do the right thing.
Speaker 14: Because she was in a dance club in Bedford Stuyvesant
Speaker 14: and there was it was two crowded, so she got
Speaker 14: up on the speaker and started dancing, and Spike Lee
Speaker 14: was like, you want to be in my movie and
Speaker 14: she's like, I guess.
Speaker 5: Good for her.
Speaker 6: Not surprising, not surprising, okay, brook Shields.
Speaker 14: Brook Shields, Well, the most surprising thing is Liam Neeson
Speaker 14: proposed marriage to her.
Speaker 3: Yes, I know, getting hold on.
Speaker 14: Thenny was like, I gotta go to La you know,
Speaker 14: we'll come back and we'll get married, and then he
Speaker 14: never spoke to her again. To America's Sweetheart and labor
Speaker 14: Union leader Brookshields.
Speaker 6: Brook Shields, someone ghosted brook Shields.
Speaker 3: I know her book is great, you should read. I
Speaker 3: know I'm gonna promote mine, but.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but also goods, also good hurt. I am so
Speaker 6: glad you were here to promote this book. It is hilarious,
Speaker 6: it's heartwarming, it is so beautifully written.
Speaker 5: Congratulations, thank you. You know what.
Speaker 6: You take this you hold this book however that you want,
Speaker 6: You deserve that available now ye killer everyone where do
Speaker 6: they get break bok.
Speaker 2: So tonight? Now you're a moment recognized on the re
Speaker 2: subpeening is the gnome because a US Senator was just
Speaker 2: rose to the ground and detained in his own William
Speaker 2: to show you, no, you don't know. You're not gonna
Speaker 2: tell me to shut up.
Speaker 9: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 9: searching The.
Speaker 1: Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3: Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 2: Ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime
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Speaker 3: This has been a Comedy Central podcast