Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to
Speaker 1: talk back. Hey, welcome to a new episode of We
Speaker 1: Talk Back as your girl a j holiday. Hey, and
Speaker 1: it's tim Am. I love you, and hey everybody, what's up.
Speaker 1: My name is Misha and I am a business owner.
Speaker 1: I am retired veteran from the Air Force. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for your support. I'm a wife of a
Speaker 1: three years, a mom of two. Um full town batty,
Speaker 1: part town government contract there, all right, I know that's
Speaker 1: the right period. We need to talk, girl. What you
Speaker 1: doing the type of government contract? And we're business? Maybe
Speaker 1: I pushed papers this administration. That's it, Okay, we need
Speaker 1: to talk. Thank you. I have a commercial furniture installation company.
Speaker 1: We definitely need to talk. Look at the networker happen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: excellent it. So last week I did an episode of
Speaker 1: Brilliant Idiots. I went to New York. It was a
Speaker 1: good time. Y'all check it out. But I got so
Speaker 1: many dick pics in my d M. What's wrong with me?
Speaker 1: You were stick though? Yeah, but that don't mean I
Speaker 1: mean no, no, no, that's not appropriate. But still you
Speaker 1: were stickt it girl. I still haven't showed my husband.
Speaker 1: Yet I'm like, wait, I mean, you know, I ain't
Speaker 1: like it, like it, but dog women do not like
Speaker 1: unsolicited cock shots. Stop that ship, y'all. Nigg is a
Speaker 1: hell aware though. I'm just always thinking like what you what? What?
Speaker 1: What do you think the response is going to be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't wait to see that. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be I want to show you something,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to be inappropriate. And then it
Speaker 1: was a dick, Oh my god, they're inappropriate. I was
Speaker 1: eating my bacon. It was breakfast. I got the side
Speaker 1: of dick with my baker. I did not ask for that.
Speaker 1: What don't you like? Yes? And I'm trying to understand
Speaker 1: why the fund do y'all think that sexual harassment only
Speaker 1: happens on the job site, Like I could literally call
Speaker 1: the police and file a claim against your ass because
Speaker 1: you're sexually harassing me via Instagram? The fuck do you
Speaker 1: think about sexual harassment when you get yeah, that's sexual harassment.
Speaker 1: I was trying to have breakfast. I don't want that
Speaker 1: disturbing my soul. Were they big though? What do you
Speaker 1: look like? That was? That was? It was kind of
Speaker 1: pretty eating with big Dick's blood to show you right right,
Speaker 1: maybe the first ones to pull it out. Maybe he
Speaker 1: had the cock shots on the man girl. Maybe you
Speaker 1: just having ready, like let me send me a cot
Speaker 1: just have a nice one ready, ready in the camera, ready,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, nah, send me a new one.
Speaker 1: What happened on Earth this week? What happened Earth is
Speaker 1: good him? It is well, we know the mob cancel culture.
Speaker 1: They're trying to cancel a baby. The baby. Now for
Speaker 1: the comments that he made last week while performing what
Speaker 1: was the festival? It was Rolling Loud, Yeah, the Rolling
Speaker 1: Loud Festival. My take on it. I guess everybody should
Speaker 1: have seen what he said, right y'all saw the videos
Speaker 1: and all that ship. My favorite part was when somebody
Speaker 1: throw that fucking shoe bitch. I don't know who did
Speaker 1: it better, him or George Bush, but I feel like
Speaker 1: the baby is a street dude, but he just like
Speaker 1: a college guy to like college could be trying him,
Speaker 1: you know, street but still educated. I don't think he
Speaker 1: went to college. And what he said was not educated
Speaker 1: because it was just unnecessary, like it had nothing to
Speaker 1: do with anything. And I think what people are mad
Speaker 1: about is because you know, prior to talking about gay.
Speaker 1: He started talking about HIV. Shout out to anybody who
Speaker 1: in here who don't have HIV. You got a million
Speaker 1: people at a at a big, big as festival, and
Speaker 1: exactly what's the percentage of you know, they say one
Speaker 1: out of every such and such like there's gonna be
Speaker 1: at least I'll say eight percent ten percent of the
Speaker 1: people at that type of event that us and that size. Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was in Miami. Okay, girl, girl,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. All I know is like when I
Speaker 1: heard it, I was actually sucking digging the parking lot
Speaker 1: and I was like hanging up my face. What I
Speaker 1: wasn't I just wanted to wasn't listening. I was sowhere
Speaker 1: like this mid choke. I was offended. Okay, I'm all right.
Speaker 1: So so here's why people I've said, and some may
Speaker 1: say that, uh t, I kind of add a little
Speaker 1: bit of more. Yeah, but he really didn't. He was
Speaker 1: just stating this thing. The thing is is that baby
Speaker 1: doesn't have the the baby excuse me, doesn't have the
Speaker 1: intellect even get himself out of this ship. Really, what
Speaker 1: you need to be doing and shutting the funk up
Speaker 1: and stop responding stop trying to troll the trolls. Like usually,
Speaker 1: cancel culture only last about three weeks. So if he
Speaker 1: would just lay low, he wouldn't be losing all of
Speaker 1: his um endorsements or whatever he has now and he
Speaker 1: new shows he was supposed to do he's being canceled
Speaker 1: for because of Yes, now you know you can't talk
Speaker 1: about l g B t Q plus community. You can
Speaker 1: say nigga, you can say holes, bitch whatever. Cracker ed
Speaker 1: it back in blood shooting your mama, you can say
Speaker 1: all that ship, but we already know you can't talk
Speaker 1: about that community. And there's a second community I definitely
Speaker 1: don't want to talk to you about because yeah, they're
Speaker 1: probably run this ship. Don't say nothing that's gonna get
Speaker 1: us called in the office. A god. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: just looking at can you please turn your bag? And
Speaker 1: then you work for the government. I just got my
Speaker 1: security clearance three approved, so I'm like, hey, the next
Speaker 1: time you go to get approve, they're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: did you do a podcast with these two ratchets on?
Speaker 1: We're talking back, I don't know, was sucking dick in
Speaker 1: the parking lot. We just need your badge and are
Speaker 1: you sure. Wait what I feel like what baby said
Speaker 1: was a failed attempt to celebrate hetero sexuality. You know,
Speaker 1: I really don't feel like he eights gave people. I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm wrong, but I just feel like what he
Speaker 1: should have said is, men, if you got your dicks
Speaker 1: up by a bad bitch in the parking lot, makes
Speaker 1: a noise or something, right, instead of saying, celebrate, you know,
Speaker 1: celebrating in a way that excluded people, don't exclude anybody.
Speaker 1: That's the problem. And look, and he was hating on
Speaker 1: bitches who might have just had a bad day and
Speaker 1: came up there. Yeah, it's hot outside, it's a festival.
Speaker 1: I know it was a lot of stink coochies out there.
Speaker 1: Let me spend y'all so much and then let me perform,
Speaker 1: and then also exactly and then inher is my thing. Men,
Speaker 1: If y'all don't know, y'all be the cause of stink pussy,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry me personally exactly Personally, I don't like sperming
Speaker 1: my vagina like I like the act of it, like
Speaker 1: the intimacy of it all. But I want you all
Speaker 1: to come in the cup, set that shirt on the
Speaker 1: side of the bed and come back in two days
Speaker 1: and see what it smelled like. Oh man, good, wait wait,
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be a snellow? Would it be like residue?
Speaker 1: Would it be like it's gonna be? Yeah, come in
Speaker 1: that cup because you listen, give your girl a day
Speaker 1: offer to you if she started like pH get a
Speaker 1: little give her some days off without sucking filling the pie. Goddamn,
Speaker 1: don't pussy shame her. You've made her couchie steak. Now
Speaker 1: you're talking about like that your soldiers came and marched
Speaker 1: up in this Wellfucker that my ship felled like a
Speaker 1: war zone. You gotta get honey pie, alad water, water
Speaker 1: BV yogurt up that motherfucker. Hey, I got a couchie.
Speaker 1: Let me Let me give y'all a coochie hack for today. So,
Speaker 1: if you are a type of person who have like
Speaker 1: yeast infections, I don't want to say often, because it's
Speaker 1: not natural for you to always be having YaST affection.
Speaker 1: But if you find yourself with east affection, a natural
Speaker 1: remedy for east affection this off topic. You take a
Speaker 1: clove of garlic, you stick a needle through it, and
Speaker 1: you take the string off the end of your tampon
Speaker 1: and wrap it around and then you take the You
Speaker 1: don't stick the need on your couch. You take the
Speaker 1: needle out, but you want to have the thread. The
Speaker 1: string go through the clover garlic, and you stick the
Speaker 1: garlic into the tampon applicator and you shoot it up
Speaker 1: in your couchie. Do it at night, because as soon
Speaker 1: as that garlic gets in your in your pussy, like
Speaker 1: your mouth, you're gonna start tasting the garlic in your mouth.
Speaker 1: But the next morning, no east affection. This is a
Speaker 1: natural cure. Vampires, you're gonna kill. Oh my gosh, hold on,
Speaker 1: tam let's pay some bills. Let's get into today's topics.
Speaker 1: So we finished with the baby bit. You ask, but Ji,
Speaker 1: I wish you best get your life shut out seven
Speaker 1: or four. I funk with the baby. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: just disappointed in his choices. I hate cancel culture because
Speaker 1: nobody's perfect, and I don't want to be canceled because
Speaker 1: of a mistake. I hate your opinion, like your opinion
Speaker 1: is okay, what do you say what your opinion is?
Speaker 1: Because but okay, we don't all have to agree. You
Speaker 1: don't have to agree. But and that's okay, and that's
Speaker 1: what freedom of speech is about. But you also have
Speaker 1: to be prepared to suffer the consequences of your your words.
Speaker 1: Be responsible. Yeah. So, um, with Maisha being a married mother,
Speaker 1: she's been married for eighteen years. Yeah, who talks aback,
Speaker 1: we thought it would be a great idea that had
Speaker 1: this particular conversation with her because we are wives. Um.
Speaker 1: Of course we've all been in committed relationships at some
Speaker 1: point in our lives, but we haven't been actually married yet, right,
Speaker 1: So I've been married to the gang, that's it. Oh.
Speaker 1: When I was doing my hair over the weekend, she
Speaker 1: was sharing with me about feminine energy and masculine energy
Speaker 1: and how she her change in her approach in that
Speaker 1: realm helped her relationship and I was like, well, damn,
Speaker 1: that's you know interesting. I would love to hear more
Speaker 1: about it. Would you like to come and talk with
Speaker 1: our listeners about how that help your relationship and drop
Speaker 1: some jewels because maybe that can help some of us,
Speaker 1: you know with ours, you know for me personally, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm like from the mindfulness community, so like I believe
Speaker 1: you believe in something, you can achieve it. If that
Speaker 1: sounds cliche, but It's true. You create your own path,
Speaker 1: and so in my higher self, I always see myself
Speaker 1: being like you know, tops here and so in that,
Speaker 1: you know, one of my roles is to be a wife.
Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, how can I do this better?
Speaker 1: You know? And like I said, I've been married for
Speaker 1: a very long time. We got married when I was
Speaker 1: a kid old, you know. To be at the age
Speaker 1: that I'm at now and to have you know, the
Speaker 1: understanding and awareness that I have now that I didn't
Speaker 1: have when I was twenty one, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: giving that credit. And so part of that is seminine energy.
Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, personally speaking from my
Speaker 1: own relationship, it has been huge to that revelation because, um,
Speaker 1: my husband and I you know, he brought it to
Speaker 1: my attention. He like, you know, I don't. It's like
Speaker 1: a again with a nigga, Like you talk to me
Speaker 1: like a dude. And I'm very feminine. You know. Anybody
Speaker 1: who knows me knows that I am a girly girl.
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I don't want to be again.
Speaker 1: You know, I know, you don't be married to a man.
Speaker 1: So it wasn't just that easy either, guys. It wasn't
Speaker 1: just that simple conversation, but ultimately that's what was the
Speaker 1: gist of it. Him bringing it to my awareness and
Speaker 1: being able to communicate what he actually saw was an
Speaker 1: issue with me. For me also being able to give
Speaker 1: some aware this to and give credit to it, to say, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I could just do better in this area. Mhm. And
Speaker 1: so what did that consist of, Like, how did you
Speaker 1: feel like you align energy? Well? Um, for me, it
Speaker 1: goes back and um, I know I get this from
Speaker 1: my mom, Like I'm to me. My perspective how I
Speaker 1: have view myself in the world is that I'm a
Speaker 1: very nice, very feminine woman. You know. Sometimes I guess
Speaker 1: it could be taken as flirtations, but really it's not.
Speaker 1: You know, if I sing my words to everybody like hi,
Speaker 1: how are you? How is everybody? You know, I don't
Speaker 1: give no pushback. I worked in customer service for a
Speaker 1: lot of years and you know, and it's it is
Speaker 1: a stereotype, but it can be true too. You know,
Speaker 1: it's the angry black woman or we have an attitude
Speaker 1: or whatever, and it's like those are the things we
Speaker 1: kind of fight against because it makes us uncomfortable to
Speaker 1: see us, to see us in the mirror. But it's
Speaker 1: also things that are true, Like some of the prettiest
Speaker 1: women have some the worst attitude. I don't want to
Speaker 1: deal with him, you know, and I'm one of them.
Speaker 1: I'm not admitted from that um. But how I deal
Speaker 1: with it, how I dealt with Like I said, it's
Speaker 1: very new, but it really is just listening, you know,
Speaker 1: and not um matching his energy because he is a
Speaker 1: man and he, like I was telling Sammy this weekend,
Speaker 1: you know, men are aggressive. Not to say he's going
Speaker 1: to knock my head off in that kind of way,
Speaker 1: but you know, he's more aggressive than our female energy
Speaker 1: would be. And so it kind of goes back to
Speaker 1: that story with your grandma being super nice to you know,
Speaker 1: to granddaddy and he cuts the howd and you know,
Speaker 1: got kids all over town and he's just like horrible.
Speaker 1: But Grandma Steel, you know, don't talk back. Grandma Steel
Speaker 1: washed his underwear, Grandma Steel cook his food. And that
Speaker 1: was my grandma. Grandma would but she didn't stay with
Speaker 1: him no matter what. They stayed gather through it all.
Speaker 1: But she did my granddaddy up. And and this is
Speaker 1: a part where I think it will get controversial because
Speaker 1: then this is my opinion. You know, I'm not the standard,
Speaker 1: but I feel like and us operated in our roles
Speaker 1: of who we were whatever. Genday, we identify with identified
Speaker 1: with being a female, so you know, operate in that role,
Speaker 1: and my husband is a male, he operates in that role.
Speaker 1: That really is harmony. You know, it's like trying to
Speaker 1: um soothe the beasts, you know, instead of he ra
Speaker 1: ra and then I'm rah ray. It's like, are we
Speaker 1: really trying to win, you know, individually or are we
Speaker 1: trying to win for the relationship. So it's like, honestly,
Speaker 1: it's like being a bigger person. It's saying, okay, okay, okay, bro,
Speaker 1: you're mad right now, I'm not mad you're mad. But
Speaker 1: it's also denying your triggers, you know, things that people
Speaker 1: say that could just get you turned up. And it's
Speaker 1: like really being selfless in that moment and just listening
Speaker 1: and then taking a minute to respond and then just
Speaker 1: seeing how that works. And I would say that has
Speaker 1: worked for me. It has worked for me. Like you know,
Speaker 1: even on the way back from talking to you, I
Speaker 1: was met with a girl and so he was talking
Speaker 1: to me and talking to me about talking about the show,
Speaker 1: and you know, you invited me on and so you know,
Speaker 1: he was excited about it. But then it went up
Speaker 1: to something personal between he and I, and I just
Speaker 1: I just had to sit there and listen. And then
Speaker 1: afterwards he was like, thank you so much for just
Speaker 1: let me get it out. And it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: like I had to deal with some uncomfortable stuff. So
Speaker 1: the feelings did come later, but I appreciated that moment
Speaker 1: when it could have just turned up to ten because
Speaker 1: he was telling me how he felt versus me saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how you feel. But um, what you did this
Speaker 1: to me too, you know, not really making a conversation
Speaker 1: more about me, but giving form to me in the
Speaker 1: black community, Um, this whole masculine feminine energy thing. A
Speaker 1: lot of times black women and black men we are
Speaker 1: acting out of trauma responses to how we grew up
Speaker 1: and things we experienced as children. May maybe us, you know,
Speaker 1: growing up in a home with a mother which we
Speaker 1: would call a strong woman, right because she was able
Speaker 1: to raise the children that she made with a man
Speaker 1: who decided not to be there. But is that really
Speaker 1: a strong woman is just a woman you know, and
Speaker 1: a lot of women aren't even single parents. They're uh
Speaker 1: they are. Um, you have a you have a man.
Speaker 1: Maybe you guys aren't together, but you're not necessarily a
Speaker 1: single mom. You're just a mom that single. But um,
Speaker 1: I don't associate masculinity with aggression. To me, like, masculinity
Speaker 1: is more so like an active person, like somebody who's assertive.
Speaker 1: And I think a man who knows who he is
Speaker 1: would have could appreciate a woman that's assertive, and you know,
Speaker 1: and and and when when a man is assertive, it's
Speaker 1: like boss energy, right. When a woman is assertive, it's
Speaker 1: the other b it's bitch energy, right. So that's why
Speaker 1: it kids kind of messy because I feel like when
Speaker 1: somebody reaches their higher self, it's going to be a
Speaker 1: person who has that masculine and feminine energy. And that's
Speaker 1: why children need that masculine and feminine Like I feel
Speaker 1: like women should be masculine and should have that feminine
Speaker 1: energy at the same time. And I wanted to read
Speaker 1: the definition of masculine energy, right, this is off should
Speaker 1: be masculine. We don't say masculine as in strong. We'll
Speaker 1: talk about yes. So let me this is why I'm
Speaker 1: about to read the definition of masculine energy right. Masculine
Speaker 1: energy is active and assertive. It knows where it's going
Speaker 1: and it takes action to get there. Masculinity does not receive,
Speaker 1: but rather it goes forth. Masculine energy influences it's environ men,
Speaker 1: not the other way around. Masculine energy is very clear
Speaker 1: and its intentions. So you have a lot of men
Speaker 1: like that won't They're not clearing their intentions. They don't
Speaker 1: know where they're going, you know what I'm saying. They
Speaker 1: aren't assertive, So would we associate them with feminine energy?
Speaker 1: I would say this, So that's not feminine energy because
Speaker 1: we know it's where we're going. If you said something
Speaker 1: that was like huge, and that's that's healing and therapy.
Speaker 1: That's not to say that we all gated rights. You
Speaker 1: know that we don't all bring years of trauma that
Speaker 1: we all have experienced related people, you know, from coming
Speaker 1: from broken homes, from homes with just single moms, like
Speaker 1: moms having to have that duality of male and female
Speaker 1: really really mostly male because like I grew up with
Speaker 1: a single parent for a short while. My mom was
Speaker 1: always angry, you know, like it's like do this, do
Speaker 1: that that. It was never no love of it was
Speaker 1: never feminine shown, it wasn't it wasn't that. Now, I
Speaker 1: think we can have masculine energy where were doing when
Speaker 1: we're handling business in the corporate center or whatever. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to our relationships, like we can we
Speaker 1: can be more softer to our significant others. But I
Speaker 1: just I just hate like associating masculinity with men and
Speaker 1: associating feminine energy with women because it's it's it's a
Speaker 1: it's an aura, and I believe that both of them
Speaker 1: are necessary for a person to reach their higher self.
Speaker 1: That's why, that's why I was telling Tam like Prince,
Speaker 1: eventually he stopped going by any names or any titles.
Speaker 1: He was just the symbol because he mastered his feminine energy.
Speaker 1: You can even look at Michael Jackson and how he
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson actually had a deep voice, but he spoke light.
Speaker 1: You know, he spoke light, and he kind of was
Speaker 1: childlike because even with a man who's masculine, he turns
Speaker 1: on that feminine energy for his children. So you know,
Speaker 1: some of them, some of them are just mean people.
Speaker 1: They're gonna be mean to you. They're gonna be meaning
Speaker 1: to the kids. But you have some men who could
Speaker 1: be naturally aggressive all day long, but something sparks that feminine.
Speaker 1: If we want to associate feminine with soft, A man
Speaker 1: can also have that feminine energy when it comes to
Speaker 1: something he really, really really loves to drink. Could be
Speaker 1: his child or his wife. So I really don't associate
Speaker 1: like the maskine. This is like a thing right now
Speaker 1: in the Black community, I think, and I think a
Speaker 1: lot of it has targeted towards Black women. But I
Speaker 1: definitely seeing myself where I can listen more right, but
Speaker 1: men can also listen more so is listening associated with femininity?
Speaker 1: I think, what what was happening right now? Like I said,
Speaker 1: for me personally, and then this is my opinion on
Speaker 1: what I see being portrayed in the community and on society.
Speaker 1: Is that for years, for years, whether you guys, I
Speaker 1: can't remember or agree or not, but we've always heard
Speaker 1: the rhetorate of a no good nigga like anna ship,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm fine one okay, Now you need
Speaker 1: know when I say when I say to be king,
Speaker 1: you know, okay, And that's the big period. People all right,
Speaker 1: People aren't But it's like the world caters to a
Speaker 1: woman what it really does. And so it's like we
Speaker 1: take on all these myriads of like roles like we're
Speaker 1: a mom, we're your wife, we're a counselor we're a friend,
Speaker 1: we're a cousin with your sister, were your dick sucker
Speaker 1: in the park? You know we are. We wear a
Speaker 1: lot of heads and where I feel like men have
Speaker 1: more of a past to do whatever. That's how we
Speaker 1: portrayed them, not saying that's true, but because we wear
Speaker 1: my hats, we're like, oh, if you know I do
Speaker 1: all this, so you need to respect me everything I won't.
Speaker 1: I need to get it. And if you ain't doing that,
Speaker 1: then it's like you fall into the stereotype of being
Speaker 1: nothing else news and it's not. It's saying like, if
Speaker 1: the relationship is not working, how feminine energy can work
Speaker 1: is to examine. Okay, we no way, we know, we
Speaker 1: already know what bird did. We know? Okay, we're sorry,
Speaker 1: but how can you be better? Our relationship can go
Speaker 1: wrong in so different ways, but it's only two people
Speaker 1: in it. So it's like, don't look at what he's
Speaker 1: done and even all his trauma, what brings what he
Speaker 1: brings to the table for yourself singularly, how can I
Speaker 1: be better as a feminine woman in relationships because even
Speaker 1: like on your job, if you have to deal with
Speaker 1: a guy, me personally, I used to have the worst
Speaker 1: relationships that work because hell no, you're not going to
Speaker 1: tell me what to do, like I know, period, Yes,
Speaker 1: my drop my boss all day and I used to
Speaker 1: have I struggled with that though. I struggled because you know,
Speaker 1: I did my job. And just because I'm not going
Speaker 1: to kiss your butt in the process, don't mean that
Speaker 1: you know, and it's I don't know. I just I
Speaker 1: know I handled it wrong. It could have did a
Speaker 1: lot better, could have won my feminine energy instead of
Speaker 1: trying to give them masculine energy like I could have used.
Speaker 1: I could have used it better. And that's just the
Speaker 1: introspection of me manipulation. So you were saying, like it's
Speaker 1: our superpower and we don't use it enough. We don't
Speaker 1: it is our superpower, we don't use it enough. And um,
Speaker 1: one example I was trying to give Like I said,
Speaker 1: this is new, but I've been thinking about this for
Speaker 1: the last few weeks. But you'll see all the time
Speaker 1: like Scarlett Johannesson. You know she plays oh who did
Speaker 1: you play? Black widow somebody, and you know she'll seduce
Speaker 1: the guy to like distract him. Right, but then what
Speaker 1: what are we programmed to see right inter there? Like
Speaker 1: she will possess basically, So it's like we we only
Speaker 1: get to see feminine and even like Marilyn Monroe is
Speaker 1: a great example, we only get to see feminine energy
Speaker 1: portrayed um one way, but but small but on a
Speaker 1: like sellular level, we get it. But it's it's always
Speaker 1: like be strong, be independent, you know, bring yourself to
Speaker 1: the table. You're Linney Littney of degrees and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But it's like a man really don't care about all that.
Speaker 1: Men let me tell you see, oh boy, this is
Speaker 1: all the bullshit that's going on the black community right now.
Speaker 1: Black American men don't care about it. That African mama
Speaker 1: care about your background and who your family is and
Speaker 1: what type of education you have. That Asian mama mama,
Speaker 1: not son. I understand that, but I'm saying the families
Speaker 1: other people in an African family, that son he cares
Speaker 1: about those things because he has to take you home
Speaker 1: to his parents. You see what I'm saying. It's only
Speaker 1: in a black community where you have men saying that
Speaker 1: they don't care about our degrees and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: That's because they're not acquiring them at the rate that
Speaker 1: that black women are, so they're they're using that to
Speaker 1: make it like a bad thing on our end. Like
Speaker 1: I don't feel like women are leading with degrees and
Speaker 1: I don't need a nig in all this ship because
Speaker 1: I feel like if you're a woman, if you're if
Speaker 1: you're a woman and you have never experienced a good man,
Speaker 1: chances are you ain't ship because there's a lot of
Speaker 1: good men out here. You probably passed them up, you know,
Speaker 1: for the nigga you gotta chase. That's what we do.
Speaker 1: You pass some the niggas that want you for the
Speaker 1: nigga you want. So try like nigga like you, it
Speaker 1: would be so hard. Like so let's go back to
Speaker 1: trauma responses. So in the black community, we all we
Speaker 1: have black mama's daddy not in the home. So your
Speaker 1: mom best thing is and even with her what I
Speaker 1: heard saying, right, you see how she had to struggle
Speaker 1: and things like that. So in your mind is like,
Speaker 1: let me get this because this nigga could leave whenever
Speaker 1: he feels like it. Let me make sure I'm straight,
Speaker 1: because he can leave whenever he feels like And that's
Speaker 1: what they kind of instilled in us. Even even if
Speaker 1: you have a mom that didn't actually say that you
Speaker 1: saw what happened to her. So because that that now
Speaker 1: trauma responses for you to make sure you got your
Speaker 1: ship in the cut, just in case he decides to
Speaker 1: leave you, or just in case you running a man
Speaker 1: that's not willing to take care of you. What you
Speaker 1: bring to the table and all this bullshit. Nobody's asking
Speaker 1: any other women, any other ethnicities what they bring to
Speaker 1: the table. It's only black men in America asking a
Speaker 1: back black women what we bring to the table, like
Speaker 1: you know. So then black women are like, I bring
Speaker 1: the whole table, like you know, the attitude, the money,
Speaker 1: the degree, all this ship. And the man's like, I
Speaker 1: don't care nothing about that. You got basic bum ass
Speaker 1: niggas who's saying they don't care about it. Nigga, you need,
Speaker 1: you need helping your child support, So you do care
Speaker 1: about how much I make? And I think because I think,
Speaker 1: And it's like, and this is another thing too, that
Speaker 1: I always not always, but I have said this before,
Speaker 1: but realizing it against you. It's accepting what people say
Speaker 1: for what it is. You know, if you say it
Speaker 1: might be. But like let's say me and you're right,
Speaker 1: we're in a relationship, but we're friends and you're like,
Speaker 1: you know my share when you did this and made
Speaker 1: me feel some kind of way. If you care about me,
Speaker 1: you will accept what I say instead of saying, okay,
Speaker 1: yeah that's true, but it's some bis because that is
Speaker 1: hurtful too. And I also feel like that's not us
Speaker 1: being soft and loving and caring and don't mean we're
Speaker 1: weak because we've got nothing to prove to nobody. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not fighting anybody. I'm gonna shoot you, period. This
Speaker 1: is what it is. I'm not fighting. No, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna do that, you know. But but I'm just saying
Speaker 1: I don't want to shoot people. I don't. But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying when it when it comes to like like
Speaker 1: why would you gauge being tough right just to say,
Speaker 1: oh I can whoop you or I can like cut
Speaker 1: you out better. You know what I'm saying, Like it's
Speaker 1: a tough factors, Like if I don't act like this
Speaker 1: with him, I'm weak or you know, I ain't strong enough.
Speaker 1: Or if he don't act like this, he ain't he
Speaker 1: ain't strong. So now you've got niggas I hate killing
Speaker 1: at each other because how tough can you be? You know?
Speaker 1: And they only can want to be tough to get us.
Speaker 1: So it's like I was telling to him, it's like
Speaker 1: dating a pretty nigga, you know, like we were so tough.
Speaker 1: We really are, and it's okay to acknowledge that we
Speaker 1: are very tough, but it's also okay to examine, like
Speaker 1: do we have to be I don't know we have
Speaker 1: to be. I don't want to be tough, but these
Speaker 1: niggas will run over you sometimes if you don't. So
Speaker 1: you just have to know who you're with. That's why
Speaker 1: partner selection is so important. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You don't want to be that submissive push over to
Speaker 1: just like this guy who the world doesn't respect, and
Speaker 1: then he he gets to come home to you and
Speaker 1: just control you because you're the only constant thing that
Speaker 1: he can control. So she gotta be real, real careful.
Speaker 1: So it just has to be balanced, because women are
Speaker 1: You can set yourself up for some botion mhm, and
Speaker 1: lots of healing and lots of grace too, Like we
Speaker 1: definitely have been traumatized and taught some things that we
Speaker 1: can honestly say instant it wasn't really bad, but it
Speaker 1: was an all the way productive for relationships either, Like
Speaker 1: we were taught how to be single and how to
Speaker 1: like date basically and that. And the thing is is
Speaker 1: that women give men access to sex, right, the men
Speaker 1: give us access to relationships and marriage because we already
Speaker 1: know that before you get that pussy up, you running
Speaker 1: all ship. As soon as you get that pussy up,
Speaker 1: now you're chasing him, and like what you what we're doing?
Speaker 1: Like all this you had all that control beforehand. That's
Speaker 1: why you put them expectations on the table first for
Speaker 1: busting that pussy over for real exactly. And you gotta
Speaker 1: have those conversations, man, because that's your treasure, like it
Speaker 1: really is. And the reality is and and yeah, I
Speaker 1: might you know, this might go crazy. I hope it don't.
Speaker 1: But you got women like who are older who have
Speaker 1: had kids, and you can tell they've had sex because
Speaker 1: they have children. But thene it's like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: okay to put it on the pedestal. It's okay to
Speaker 1: still put on the pedestal, but it's like, what are
Speaker 1: you also bringing to the relationship because I can smam
Speaker 1: shiny like everybody got everybody got a penis. So it's
Speaker 1: like what makes you set apart? And it's like and
Speaker 1: and this's what me and Tom got into this weekend.
Speaker 1: I ain't know do I can't speak for me. But
Speaker 1: when when you know everything's saying everything going to get
Speaker 1: in the relationship, you're selling the honeymoon phase. And then
Speaker 1: something happened, you get triggered, you know, you don't answer
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then you start losing your ship. You understand,
Speaker 1: and then it's like, now you have turned turned into
Speaker 1: another person. You're not. Now you're strong, you're trying to
Speaker 1: put a defense mechanism up and you and that's the
Speaker 1: that's what you're speaking too earlier about healing, like healing
Speaker 1: those traumas so you can give somebody your best self
Speaker 1: and stay in that honeymoon phase, because that's how all
Speaker 1: a person gets when they like cheat or you know,
Speaker 1: find somebody else's that newness. Oh she's nice to me.
Speaker 1: You know, she don't fuss at me when I don't
Speaker 1: do this. And you know, as soon as the one
Speaker 1: he started checking that crazy, he'll go to thirstback he
Speaker 1: coming home. Is like, being in love is just a
Speaker 1: state of mind. It's nothing more, nothing less. It's a
Speaker 1: state of mind, fall in and out. So when you're
Speaker 1: with some my state of insanity. Girl, when you wear somebody,
Speaker 1: y'all have to do things every single day to continuously
Speaker 1: fall in love with each other every day because if
Speaker 1: you're not falling in love, you're falling out of love,
Speaker 1: you know, so you'll arguing and all this bullshit. Is like,
Speaker 1: you know, I love no more. It's easy to fall
Speaker 1: out of love. Maybe I'm just in a dark place
Speaker 1: because I don't believe in being in love forever with nobody.
Speaker 1: That's what. That's what I'm saying. It's easy to fall
Speaker 1: out of love. So you have to make sure you're
Speaker 1: the two people really really want to be together. Every
Speaker 1: day has to be loving, Like, yeah, y'all gonna have
Speaker 1: like bumps in the road, but this has to be
Speaker 1: the person that you're willing to put up with bullshit
Speaker 1: from forever. That's just it. Because everybody is different and
Speaker 1: everybody come with their ship, right, Yeah, that that has
Speaker 1: to be the person that you are willing to deal with.
Speaker 1: They bullshit for ever and when you know, yeah and
Speaker 1: we no longer, relationship is over. I find it hard
Speaker 1: to pick one that well because you're probably not getting
Speaker 1: everything you need and that one person you know, but
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get everything you need and nobody. But
Speaker 1: if you know that, then what are we What are
Speaker 1: you saying if you know that you can't get everything
Speaker 1: from you need out of one person, So get to
Speaker 1: if that's what you choose to do and you're being
Speaker 1: honest with people, Yeah, get too, should get three money man,
Speaker 1: dick man ship lanmore man. I don't know nigga who
Speaker 1: can fixtion in the house? Who listened to my feelings? Look,
Speaker 1: Tammy is uh dwelling and her masculine energy if we
Speaker 1: want to associate if we want to associate masculine energy
Speaker 1: with with promiscuity. Bitch, I didn't say I was fucking
Speaker 1: all of them. I heard a ladieship. I had a
Speaker 1: lady on Instagram. I'm sure y'are not saying this lady.
Speaker 1: She was snapping, she was gone all the way off,
Speaker 1: but she was like y'all bitches won't oh y'all. Man
Speaker 1: to be single, I mean, just be with y'all. But
Speaker 1: what if he come home and sake. He wanted to
Speaker 1: have sakes from the standalia and he wanted to do
Speaker 1: this right, you got tim so I found like she
Speaker 1: was promoting Poligaby. You know, they're yeah, probably you know,
Speaker 1: do whatever works for you. But that's like you said,
Speaker 1: aj is having that conversation and you know what you
Speaker 1: want and what you can handle, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: saw a video like that, and she's basically like, do
Speaker 1: you have time to be all the things that all
Speaker 1: the other women was? Could you be the one woman
Speaker 1: who provides all that ship? But why why? And a
Speaker 1: man doesn't require a man. When a man doesn't like
Speaker 1: thirst for pussy like that, that's when he's reaching out
Speaker 1: itself when sex isn't driving him anymore. Like ice Cube
Speaker 1: said him and his wife they have been married for
Speaker 1: twenty five plus years, right, and he said he's not
Speaker 1: overly sexual, Like he's not overly like like men who
Speaker 1: just go out to get some new pussy all the time,
Speaker 1: like it just takes a while for them to get
Speaker 1: to the place where they can turn down some pussy.
Speaker 1: Is also a man hasn't arrived, but he but yeah,
Speaker 1: but he's saying that's how he's been able to keep
Speaker 1: his marriages because he wasn't not here chasing other bitches,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like, it's just like that
Speaker 1: speaks to something else too, though, like something that can
Speaker 1: be handled in therapy, honestly, because what are you looking
Speaker 1: for even with women? What are you looking for when
Speaker 1: you're just going out there just having sex with all
Speaker 1: open through women, are you trying to like they're boosting
Speaker 1: their ego up? That's all it is. But once you
Speaker 1: once you relinquished some of that ego, because ego, a
Speaker 1: healthy ego is a good thing, right, But once you
Speaker 1: relinquish some of that ego, you could turn down pussy
Speaker 1: and like you can really get to the bag. All
Speaker 1: types of things can just start happening. Like, man, once
Speaker 1: you start making your wife happier to the person you with,
Speaker 1: like your fucking life just elevates. I've seen it happen
Speaker 1: when they can start doing their wife, right, I've seen
Speaker 1: it happen. I agree. I'm here to tell the story.
Speaker 1: And then you know another thing is like I cannot
Speaker 1: stand like the strong Black woman title, I think black
Speaker 1: women are the only people who have that self proclaimed
Speaker 1: strong black woman. I had seen this video one time
Speaker 1: on YouTube and a lot of people was pissed about that.
Speaker 1: It was an Indian. No, it was an Indian Indian
Speaker 1: man and he was saying, how black women we like
Speaker 1: the only women that have children for a bunch of
Speaker 1: different men then struggle to take care of their children.
Speaker 1: And then when they are able to take care of
Speaker 1: the children, then they are self proclaimed strong woman because
Speaker 1: you struggled with children. Like that should really had me
Speaker 1: feeling away. But at the same way, like that shoud
Speaker 1: is really real because other other groups of people just
Speaker 1: don't be out here like people be having a lot
Speaker 1: of people just it just depends, right, So people do
Speaker 1: be out here fucking having kids just like Black people do, right,
Speaker 1: but the family structure structure is a little bit different.
Speaker 1: Like the family is gonna come together to take care
Speaker 1: to kids. Child could go off and go to school
Speaker 1: just and a third or whatever it may be. But
Speaker 1: you're just a woman, and you know what, a super
Speaker 1: strong black woman. That's what we are. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of weak bitches out here, you hear me, There's a
Speaker 1: lot of bitches, But Black women are the strongest creatures
Speaker 1: on earth. I believe it. We mothered this entire earth. Okay,
Speaker 1: this whole earth came from us. Just let die, no bitch,
Speaker 1: I do not. I just feel like, man, it's the cycle.
Speaker 1: It is a vicious cycle for us. And I think
Speaker 1: if we could get that aspect right, we could really
Speaker 1: really win as black and black women and black man
Speaker 1: because like, like, okay, we brought up China this weekend, right,
Speaker 1: Tammy and Tammy talking about the suicide rates of women
Speaker 1: because the Chinese women are more submissive, they aligned in
Speaker 1: their families energy more. I was like, yeah, and they
Speaker 1: also commit suicide more than anybody else too. But look
Speaker 1: at their country though, look how much wealth they have.
Speaker 1: Like people stick together and listen. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you should stay in a relationship that's not healthy. But
Speaker 1: Black people will leave. We're leavers, will not stay that
Speaker 1: bread get their head and I'm definitely a lever and
Speaker 1: take a while though, but I'm deaf. I will leave
Speaker 1: right but you know that. So because you know that,
Speaker 1: then you will. But it's like finding the ways to
Speaker 1: work it out and decide I'm gonna stay with you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stake this out through thinking thing like that's
Speaker 1: the thing. I never leave these niggas be leaving me,
Speaker 1: but they come back once they find out the grass greener.
Speaker 1: They always try to come back, and then they can't
Speaker 1: because they'd be damaged. Man, it's a lot of damage.
Speaker 1: I think I've never dumped the nigger. I've never dumped.
Speaker 1: I've stayed through the bullshit, and then I always get
Speaker 1: dumped and then they come back like I made a mistake.
Speaker 1: You sure the funk did? Because after that, I won't
Speaker 1: come back. I'll fight for you. And I'd be like,
Speaker 1: all right, if you sure you did, I'd be dramatical. Mother,
Speaker 1: I'd be so dramatic. I mean, poll you haul truck.
Speaker 1: I packed that bitch by my fucking self. Dramatic, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm out. You gotta be a stayer like okay, So
Speaker 1: have you ever seen this video? And it's really profound
Speaker 1: to like kids and it was just white guy. I
Speaker 1: think he might have been a pastor or something, but
Speaker 1: he had a whole diverse soccer fieller kids, right, it was,
Speaker 1: but it was predominant. It was more white kids there
Speaker 1: and it was um some black kids as well. So
Speaker 1: the concept was they stid on one single line all
Speaker 1: at like to say, the gold line, and he was like,
Speaker 1: step forward type of things. So step forward, if you
Speaker 1: have a cell phone, you know, okay, step forward, if
Speaker 1: both your parents are together, step forward. Everything that really
Speaker 1: applies to a more the white community. And so you've
Speaker 1: got these kids. They took the fund the line. They're
Speaker 1: laughing it, you know, they ha ha ha. And then
Speaker 1: you look back this black kids still let the goal line.
Speaker 1: Who hasn't left, And it's like, we will get together
Speaker 1: and procreate, we'll have sex, and we'll have children, which
Speaker 1: is really the outcome of six And then we're leaving
Speaker 1: these kids on the goal line because we can't get
Speaker 1: it right, because we are traumatized, we can't communicate, we're fighting.
Speaker 1: You know, nobody wants to admit to their own wrong
Speaker 1: and see awareness, set their own stuff. And we're leaving
Speaker 1: our kids at the goal line, guys. And that's really
Speaker 1: the biggest issue. So people talk about all the time,
Speaker 1: like how can we fix the things in the black community,
Speaker 1: And I do believe that one of the big fixes
Speaker 1: is black family and marriage. Like two people too, healthy
Speaker 1: healed people get together and produce healthy, healed children or
Speaker 1: just children that don't even have to heal. So people
Speaker 1: always talk about like generational curses. Nah, it has to
Speaker 1: be generational blessings going forward in the black The only
Speaker 1: way that starts and starts with the man and the
Speaker 1: woman healed people creating children, because we all know there's
Speaker 1: black people and there's then there's niggas, right, and niggas
Speaker 1: pro create way quicker than black people. Listen, I disagree
Speaker 1: because a black person and so that's a hybrid. All right,
Speaker 1: we could be high because you know, I like her.
Speaker 1: Niggas who made it. I like hybrids, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. But you know what I'm saying, like people
Speaker 1: who got the time to make kids like black people,
Speaker 1: we at least try to set stuff up a little bit.
Speaker 1: You know what, have we ever seen at work that's
Speaker 1: like ideals that is not even real to us? But
Speaker 1: you can do everything. Man still end a single mom,
Speaker 1: But you can be a mom that's single. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be a single mom. You can pick a
Speaker 1: man that you know, we'll raise your children, whether y'all
Speaker 1: are together or not. Cept that's where partners selection comes in.
Speaker 1: You want to get pregnant by the nigga who already
Speaker 1: got to kids that he isn't taking. That's your responsibility.
Speaker 1: You mismanaged your pussy. That is not that man's fault.
Speaker 1: It's your fault. That's true. And sometimes we run then off.
Speaker 1: We run them off, man, And that's it's a hard right.
Speaker 1: You just gotta be just you gotta get your life together.
Speaker 1: We have to its us. It's us taking it for
Speaker 1: the team. Man. And I have two daughters and leave
Speaker 1: them with my kids, they pop off and they'd be
Speaker 1: like like me and then it turning like my mama,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh no. So black women, we could
Speaker 1: try to be a little bit more feminine, but feminine
Speaker 1: to me, not push over. It's not. But you you
Speaker 1: could be you can still just miss somebody femininely. And
Speaker 1: if you and if you and if you say you can't,
Speaker 1: that's now you're making a choice to not because you're
Speaker 1: not being your feelings right. And then also if you
Speaker 1: have to argue, you don't have to argue. You could
Speaker 1: just improve of your arguments. Right. But so with this,
Speaker 1: all right, let's talk about women in hip hop. So
Speaker 1: a lot of this rap music is masculine, innerne mast
Speaker 1: and we got girls like A J sent me this
Speaker 1: video over the weekend and it was girls like your
Speaker 1: niggas ain't no but some little holes to buzzed over.
Speaker 1: Get the debrisa my ass for folks, My ass wide
Speaker 1: open and eat the Debriata for phone. About that nigga
Speaker 1: three five and he shirked me up right quick. Come on, yeah,
Speaker 1: we talked about y'all like that too. Y'all giving up
Speaker 1: sloping topy four three five? Come on, man, y'all niggs,
Speaker 1: I always want to talk sheet about but y'all needs
Speaker 1: out here. Eat a fossils as all. You're easy and
Speaker 1: for the funk, my little bit niggas out he eat
Speaker 1: as sucking man. Put a little extra twitterdolls on it,
Speaker 1: a little sprinkle, nigga, open your head cheeks and licked
Speaker 1: the debris. That motherfucker was I was. I was splashing
Speaker 1: my pearls. I'm like, ain't a minute are we buying
Speaker 1: these niggas ship to eat our ass out now? They
Speaker 1: asking what we bring to the table, like we're some
Speaker 1: grown as men. Nigger asked to eat if you're trying
Speaker 1: to eat. But it was just like very masculine energy,
Speaker 1: like I buy you a little three five. It was
Speaker 1: not even talking to a man who act like that.
Speaker 1: So is that masculine energy or just ignorant energy? A
Speaker 1: little boy? If I could say that, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I never talked to nobody that seek.
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you talking to me like that?
Speaker 1: I would be feeling like I need to turn the
Speaker 1: neck on and the dress that comes to my ankles.
Speaker 1: She said that was a hard out of a lot
Speaker 1: of the energy. But I think it's a trauma response. Honestly,
Speaker 1: we've been having years and years, in decades and decades
Speaker 1: and centuries of just being played right. Because at one
Speaker 1: point women ran of ship the lightest men want to
Speaker 1: take it. There were women rulers, right, and we we
Speaker 1: talked about this before about being submissive, Like being submissive
Speaker 1: does not mean go sit in the corner and do
Speaker 1: what this man says, because the Bible also says, if
Speaker 1: we want to be biblical, a man is supposed to
Speaker 1: consult with his wife. So y'all supposed to come counsel
Speaker 1: with us, like we're the counselor for real, for real,
Speaker 1: And if you think about like the medieval times and
Speaker 1: the women really was running ship in the background, talking
Speaker 1: with their man, letting them know how to do war,
Speaker 1: letting them know how to handle whoever else. And then
Speaker 1: they go out and they act like they came up
Speaker 1: with the idea, like it was just an epiphany and
Speaker 1: we just lit them, you know so, And that's a
Speaker 1: beautiful exchange. Though, that's a beautiful exchange because then return
Speaker 1: be to get a kingdom. Period. Exactly. We are the
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say only. I hate using the word
Speaker 1: only because it's somebody out there that they did some
Speaker 1: same stuff we don't did. But predominantly we are the
Speaker 1: ones that fight against each other. You got black men
Speaker 1: saying they down the down date women, but their MoMA's black.
Speaker 1: You know we gottem has been set up for us
Speaker 1: to be this way, you know that. But take it
Speaker 1: all the way back to Willie Lynch. We can take
Speaker 1: when they would take the black man and tie one
Speaker 1: side of his arms to a horse and tie his
Speaker 1: legs to another horse and then beat both horses. So
Speaker 1: they try to run away and rip that man in
Speaker 1: half in front of his woman. So how she gonna be,
Speaker 1: She's gonna be like, I gotta be strong because you
Speaker 1: can go any time, any time. He can be taken
Speaker 1: away from me, and that ship has been in our
Speaker 1: mind ever since, and it's just like a parent. We
Speaker 1: need a paradigm shift for all of this to change.
Speaker 1: The paradigm shift is the therapy. So a lot of people,
Speaker 1: you know, you see people say a little funny shit
Speaker 1: about you know what. Charlemagne pushes the Mental Health UM movement.
Speaker 1: That's what the community needs. I really feel like that
Speaker 1: is his purpose to push more black men to therapy,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because we need to be together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we need to heal, That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1: We need to heal separately and then we need to
Speaker 1: heal together. But conversations like this too are very profound
Speaker 1: and healing because if you even if you don't agree,
Speaker 1: you can at least you can, Yeah, you plant the seed,
Speaker 1: because I mean, let's be honest, we can all go
Speaker 1: to therapy. But if we don't take accountability for our
Speaker 1: own actions, and we always constantly looking at somebody like,
Speaker 1: well you did this, and that's why I did that.
Speaker 1: Even if we go back to the programming and the
Speaker 1: systematic racism that's but set against as we can blame
Speaker 1: people all day, we have a lot of people to blame. Okay,
Speaker 1: we know the problem. We know the problem. We've been
Speaker 1: talked to problem for four hundred plus years. We know
Speaker 1: the problem. What is the solution, right, The solution is
Speaker 1: stopped being full of ship. The solution is stopped forfeitting
Speaker 1: the game. Let's just let's just to pretend us as
Speaker 1: a football game. Right, if you are refusing to understand
Speaker 1: your opponent and who you playing against, you're essentially forfeit
Speaker 1: in the game. You've got a lot of black people
Speaker 1: that's just sitting back forefeitt in the game because the
Speaker 1: white man and and this one did dad man nigga?
Speaker 1: Come on? And that's really what black women are saying.
Speaker 1: But on the other flip side of that, right, we
Speaker 1: also know that empowering black women is also a form
Speaker 1: of white supremacy, because who's gonna who's gonna help our men?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Like you even see like
Speaker 1: a high school and ship like that, Like girl, little
Speaker 1: girls always have a car, and then they got some
Speaker 1: nigga who got a car, come from a broken family
Speaker 1: in the passenger seat. Right, So we empower the women,
Speaker 1: and then we don't empower the little boys, and then
Speaker 1: we call them bumbass niggas when they get older because
Speaker 1: they work the warehouse warehouse job their whole fucking life,
Speaker 1: while you told him to go get a job because
Speaker 1: now you don't made a baby ticket your family. But
Speaker 1: then you got the little girl family who allows her
Speaker 1: to then go to college while they help her with
Speaker 1: her child. So it's like it's kind of the balance
Speaker 1: is all that fuck up? We gotta take care of
Speaker 1: our little boys, have to take care our little girls,
Speaker 1: and and fuck these grown people. It starts with the children. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's over. It's over for y'all. Girl. We need worry
Speaker 1: about the kid, but we do, man. And at a
Speaker 1: point in time where we can start saying that we
Speaker 1: have to look at our children because we are the examples.
Speaker 1: We aren't the examples like they're gonna do. They're gonna
Speaker 1: emulate what they see. Yeah, because children are being raised
Speaker 1: by the unraised. They're just being raised by people were raised.
Speaker 1: We have no idea. I tell my kids all the time,
Speaker 1: this is my first time with a ten year old.
Speaker 1: I never had a ten year old before. I don't know.
Speaker 1: So you can tell your mom if I'm messing it up.
Speaker 1: For you like, I provide them my platform. My kids
Speaker 1: speak very freely and we do that. That's another thing
Speaker 1: say and not as I do. Our generation kind of
Speaker 1: changing that. Our generation changed that a little bit. And
Speaker 1: my mom I talked to her about how I withou
Speaker 1: raise my kids and things. I don't have kids yet,
Speaker 1: but I know there are some things I'll take from
Speaker 1: how I was raised. But there are a lot of
Speaker 1: things I'm not taking. What meant, I don't believe. I
Speaker 1: don't believe in hitting little people. Little people have half
Speaker 1: the life experiences of your big grown ass. If I
Speaker 1: can't smack my nigga when he's sucking up, why would
Speaker 1: I put my hand on this kid? You said something
Speaker 1: they don't know, and you're gonna have to repeat yourself
Speaker 1: a thousand times the same way you gotta repeat yourself
Speaker 1: a thousand times to a big grown as man. So
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things. M hmm. Maybe gonna get
Speaker 1: a little pop pop every now. Yeah, pop pop is school.
Speaker 1: But there's such a thing as a bully parenting bully. No, No,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing and I don't want to kill my kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the touba for you were trying to murder somebody,
Speaker 1: you don't want to pop pop is necessary because my
Speaker 1: bad she had tried to hell out of me, Like
Speaker 1: don't just the reason why I don't want to like
Speaker 1: like take pop pop all the way out is because
Speaker 1: I don't want to raise a little motherfucker's like mo
Speaker 1: ship my fucking door mom. I don't think that's what happened.
Speaker 1: I think if you're in goal is to make a
Speaker 1: child cry. If that's really what you want to do,
Speaker 1: you want to make them cry because oftentimes we beat
Speaker 1: the assy ain't gonna have no change behavior. Try telling
Speaker 1: your child, you know what, just really really calm and
Speaker 1: you're feminine. G I'm really disappointed in you, period and
Speaker 1: dropped the mic walk off? But how many time? Let
Speaker 1: me tell you my daddy. My daddy beat me one
Speaker 1: time in life, and he beat my sisters so he
Speaker 1: wouldn't have to beat me by myself. But I was
Speaker 1: so afraid of disappointing my daddy and he never yelled
Speaker 1: at me, but not one time when I was younger.
Speaker 1: But as a teenager, like I remember, I still let
Speaker 1: nigger car and I went to my boyfriend's house and
Speaker 1: I sud run oversleep. I had to be the school
Speaker 1: and that nigger had to be the work. And I
Speaker 1: came home, he was like, give me my keys, I
Speaker 1: should beat your ass. I couldn't believe it. I was
Speaker 1: like six seventeen. I was like, oh my god, he's
Speaker 1: been beating your ass already. You would have been home
Speaker 1: before six o'clock in the morning, that's what. And look
Speaker 1: I was. I still was going right. But them asked
Speaker 1: what I made me remember. It was I don't think
Speaker 1: you gotta because my daddy will suck me up. That
Speaker 1: I was, but I was so scared. Nigga said I
Speaker 1: should beat your ass. I couldn't believe it, Like, who me,
Speaker 1: You're gonna me? Daddy mean your little girl? Imau you
Speaker 1: up y'all late for school. I lay for where I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe it, but I just closed my eyes and
Speaker 1: I saw it all over again. If he would have
Speaker 1: been tagging that but all them sixteen years and living,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't even thought twice to go out the house.
Speaker 1: He would have been right, there, don't be the main ones,
Speaker 1: the ones that we have no leadway be the main
Speaker 1: ones doing all the whole ship. What you talking about?
Speaker 1: And I ain't doing it tomorrow? I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: be that to them. Yeah, so this conversation today was great.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna try to practice staying in our feminine
Speaker 1: energy a little bit more. And I do like to
Speaker 1: tell people I'm a grown ass man. Sometimes I don't
Speaker 1: really mean it. Just be beautiful always. Submission guys, for
Speaker 1: dumb bitch advice today. Okay, let's hear it all right,
Speaker 1: hold on, so let's let's um, actually, let's take a break.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get into our dumb bitch story, but let's
Speaker 1: take a break and pay these mother fucking bills dumb
Speaker 1: bitch stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at
Speaker 1: least once or twice. Alright, So here's our dumb bitch
Speaker 1: advice for today. She was she needs some advice from us, guys,
Speaker 1: So here's what she sent. Uh. So, I've been in
Speaker 1: a relationship for about seven months now. The man that
Speaker 1: I'm with is a good guy. He's laid back, home body,
Speaker 1: he has his head on straight, good job, supportive, hold
Speaker 1: our house down, et cetera. This man literally drives to
Speaker 1: me on his lunch break to bring me lunch instead
Speaker 1: of enjoying it for himself. And I get a different
Speaker 1: color roses every week. He's made it a routine at
Speaker 1: this point. Pretty much what I want I get. One day,
Speaker 1: during my nap, I said I wanted a funnel cake
Speaker 1: talking in my sleep. He drove forty minutes, and when
Speaker 1: I woke up, I had a funnel cake waiting on me.
Speaker 1: It's literally the little things. However, there's a few things
Speaker 1: about him that that completely turns me off. First off,
Speaker 1: when we first met, he knew a lot about me
Speaker 1: that he shouldn't have known. To this day, I still
Speaker 1: don't know where he got his info. When he gets
Speaker 1: upset about things, he doesn't communicate. He literally he literally
Speaker 1: just stops talking period until he goes until he goes smoke,
Speaker 1: then acts as though nothing has ever happened. He even
Speaker 1: goes to me for four days one time to avoid
Speaker 1: talking and texting. When I tell him we can't have sex,
Speaker 1: or honestly, if I tell him no to anything or
Speaker 1: to stop a certain behavior, he's goofy. He literally holds it,
Speaker 1: folds his arm, stops one time, and pounds like a
Speaker 1: two year old in time out. Yesterday, we had a disagreement.
Speaker 1: I tried to express how I felt, and he laughed
Speaker 1: in my face and walked away. Lastly, he's the best looking,
Speaker 1: though I don't let his looks sway my decision. We
Speaker 1: can't do missionaries in sex because I laugh at the
Speaker 1: faces he makes. We got together two weeks after my divorce.
Speaker 1: I originally planned to work on myself and be alone
Speaker 1: for a while, but got into a relationship with him
Speaker 1: because I kept hearing why not, why not? He's a
Speaker 1: good man. Hold onto him before you lose him. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna find someone else like him, and I like
Speaker 1: the feeling I got from his affection after getting away
Speaker 1: from an asshole like my ex husband and finding him
Speaker 1: about a month into us talking and him asking three times,
Speaker 1: I said why not. Now, I'm feeling like this was
Speaker 1: a mistake. I don't know what to do today. I
Speaker 1: told him I need my space to think and get
Speaker 1: clarity on what it is that I truly want. And
Speaker 1: I'm in a dilemma where I really have doubts about
Speaker 1: this relationship but feel kind of stuck because I don't
Speaker 1: want to give up a good man. I truly don't
Speaker 1: know what to do right now. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 1: I love your show, Give me some advice. God damn
Speaker 1: all right, so the nigga ugly. I remember that part
Speaker 1: because I was kind of at the end. He's very
Speaker 1: um um thoughtful. He's very thoughtful. Um. He sucks at communication,
Speaker 1: he avoids communication. He then laughs at you when you
Speaker 1: tell him that's kind of abusive. Um to me that
Speaker 1: the way he communicates would definitely outweigh the thoughtfulness. I
Speaker 1: would not be able to deal with somebody when I
Speaker 1: bring up something that about them that bothers me, like
Speaker 1: we were talking about Misha, and you laugh or dismiss
Speaker 1: what I'm saying or say I'm sensitive. That's some narcissistic behavior, right,
Speaker 1: Or he could have avoidance issues because he's had trauma too.
Speaker 1: And like you know, she said she was with divorced
Speaker 1: with two kids, no divorce for two months before they met. Okay,
Speaker 1: it wasn't some children in there at the beginning, that
Speaker 1: he didn't take hand of kids. Well, you know, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't really have any. I don't think I
Speaker 1: have any on top of my hand, any good advice
Speaker 1: because I feel like that said a whole lot about
Speaker 1: both of them. You know, like if you you win
Speaker 1: somebody that you don't not attracted to, I really don't
Speaker 1: see how far that's gonna go. Let's just be honest,
Speaker 1: like if you only gotta get funk from the backs
Speaker 1: and listen, if you don't got listen, I really don't
Speaker 1: care about looks, but I care about looks right now
Speaker 1: because I don't got no kids. If I was like
Speaker 1: out here like single mama looking for a man and
Speaker 1: already got kids, like, I wouldn't be giving a funk
Speaker 1: looks like, but I'm not about to having no little
Speaker 1: goonies running around here. I just feel like, you got you?
Speaker 1: Are you? Like you said she just got divorced or
Speaker 1: whatever she wanted to work on her Still, I feel
Speaker 1: like that's where the conversation stops for me, because it
Speaker 1: like leave him alone and honestly and work on yourself,
Speaker 1: because if you're in a relationship, let's be honest. Beauty face, Okay,
Speaker 1: the older you get, you might not be looked like
Speaker 1: that same twenty year only know how all these people are,
Speaker 1: but beauty phasing. If you can't love somebody like if
Speaker 1: he got shot in the face, you're definitely gonna hall
Speaker 1: that on him because he already on attractive. So if
Speaker 1: you know, I would say you should just cut your
Speaker 1: losses right now while it's still early. She said, he
Speaker 1: already shot in the face. That's what she said, And
Speaker 1: it matters to her because if it didn't matter, she
Speaker 1: wasn't address you. So it makes matter to you, So
Speaker 1: don't settle, says. You know, he might be a nice
Speaker 1: guy and keep him as a good friend. Baby, you'll
Speaker 1: see him with one of your friends and they can
Speaker 1: live their best life together. Or maybe in the future, y'all,
Speaker 1: can you know, come back together once both of y'all
Speaker 1: work on yourselves. But the most important thing is is
Speaker 1: to do what you said out to do. And this
Speaker 1: hell yourself from that last marriage, because one month out,
Speaker 1: how are you even ready to start with somebody new
Speaker 1: after one month after a divorce, you know? And then
Speaker 1: I fear if he asked her to marry her, like
Speaker 1: if he said, well you married me, I fear that
Speaker 1: what happens next because then that's a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: more because you might feel relationship yeah, or you know,
Speaker 1: can you say no so I will just leave? And
Speaker 1: you know, I know, I said we need to stay,
Speaker 1: but it's out there too, yeah, because you're already so
Speaker 1: when we are, when you're all head dating even if
Speaker 1: you're a long term relationship, it's okay to leave, is okay? Right?
Speaker 1: And at at that point you're doing a disservice to
Speaker 1: yourself and him, you know. But sometimes you gotta get
Speaker 1: in and out of relationships to really find what it
Speaker 1: is that you with, what your likes and dislikes are.
Speaker 1: But you definitely need to know thyself before you talk
Speaker 1: with anybody else, because he already said. And it's hard
Speaker 1: too because she's been a wife, i'm sure for a while,
Speaker 1: so she's used to having that companionship constantly. So it's
Speaker 1: like it's okay to nasis. So she said her ex
Speaker 1: husband was an asshole. It sounds like this guy kind
Speaker 1: of is displaying some asshole behavior and he could very
Speaker 1: well be loved bumming you when he does go and
Speaker 1: get those things that you like, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like that sometimes can be a little form of manipulation,
Speaker 1: so you can overlook the things that he falls short.
Speaker 1: But but I will say this too though, sorry a
Speaker 1: j to interrupt you, but visualize with me for a second.
Speaker 1: If this man is not attractive, you think he might
Speaker 1: know that too, right, And if y'all don't have missionary
Speaker 1: he's aware of that too. So that's two things that
Speaker 1: says that he's not that he might be like a five, right,
Speaker 1: and maybe she's like a seven or eight. So he's
Speaker 1: gonna try to keep her because he has just leveled up.
Speaker 1: You know, he supposed to have her anyway rights because
Speaker 1: she laughing. God, you need to that's horrible. Managine getting
Speaker 1: funk and be like, I'm sorry, keep going, boy, I'll
Speaker 1: just think about missing and Seeley in that moment. Man, girl,
Speaker 1: I love a nice looking face. Nigger, I cannot do it.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Let me let me get the nice looking man. Please,
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I gotta be able to look
Speaker 1: at you in the face. Dog, I like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't mind a little ugly. You could be one ugly.
Speaker 1: You can't be like ugly ugly, like, you can't be
Speaker 1: too ugly. One ugly it's okayone's like so one ugly
Speaker 1: is like where you have cute features but they just
Speaker 1: ain't going together on your face. You can be ugly
Speaker 1: with pearly white nice teeth, yes that I'm making cute, yes,
Speaker 1: and a bit dimple's bitch. Oh yeah, you can be
Speaker 1: ugly with some dimple be pretty teeth and then be like,
Speaker 1: oh he could hear me if he turned to this,
Speaker 1: can you be ugly and rich? What you mean? I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking? Make you cute? And look
Speaker 1: I didn't met. I didn't met a nigger who was
Speaker 1: like richest hell but too ugly to date for me.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't care how nice and how
Speaker 1: much money he got. He is hideous. I can't do it.
Speaker 1: Don't add acne. On top of that, he was like
Speaker 1: he looked his face looked like this, y'all, I'm sick
Speaker 1: of you. I'm not sick. And my friend told me
Speaker 1: he was ugly because she's like, he's so nice though,
Speaker 1: and he'll treats you so good, but I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 1: He kind of ugly. I'm like, I like kind of ugly.
Speaker 1: And then when I met him, I was like, bit,
Speaker 1: you said kind of ugly. Look he looks so he
Speaker 1: was a thousand they're not a millionaire. No, he was
Speaker 1: a millionaire. Just yeah, very's like, uh, he did like
Speaker 1: commercial real estate shoot, and he was wealthy, but he
Speaker 1: was just baby m okay. So to our listener, I
Speaker 1: don't know, baby, get the funk about it there. Just
Speaker 1: try try again next lay. Just take the time off
Speaker 1: that you know you need it in the first place,
Speaker 1: because maybe you were just that vulnerable that you're dealing
Speaker 1: with these things and just that little piece he's giving
Speaker 1: you is a little bit. It's enough right now, but
Speaker 1: if you were actually healed from your previous relationship, it
Speaker 1: wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be right, and it managed to you,
Speaker 1: so you'll be honest with yourself. So I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: this episode, y'all. Thank you guys for having me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we do appreciate it. Well. So if you need somebody
Speaker 1: to fix your credit, you can find me at four
Speaker 1: U s C g RP dot com. I fixed credit
Speaker 1: for our melonated community because that is in high demand
Speaker 1: and we're learning about credit. You know, um do that.
Speaker 1: And also if you just want to be my friend,
Speaker 1: you can follow me on Instagram at belove patres on
Speaker 1: the score. Alright, girl, Look, since she she mentioned some
Speaker 1: credit and financial literacy and all that ship, I know
Speaker 1: you'll haven't seen me posting about these stock options, y'all.
Speaker 1: Niggas is playing y'all lacking, Like I saw some posts
Speaker 1: people were talking about when they see somebody like with
Speaker 1: the UM the graphs and they and they bio they
Speaker 1: automatically block them, y'all blocking, y'all, motherfucking blessings. I want
Speaker 1: you to teach me we are there. You got get
Speaker 1: in the class. So y'all hit me up if you're interested.
Speaker 1: Y'all can d us d M on We Talked Back
Speaker 1: Podcasts and give us that website one more time or
Speaker 1: the number four all caps u SC like University of
Speaker 1: South Carolina for usc g r P dot com for
Speaker 1: US Consulting Group, Black Owned Black Ram for the Black community,
Speaker 1: that black period, and we love that ship. You got
Speaker 1: anything else with a people tam follow me at official
Speaker 1: tam bam and I'm a j Holiday two point oh,
Speaker 1: make sure you hit us up. Also on We Talked
Speaker 1: Back podcast on Instagram A and we got a couple
Speaker 1: of new episodes on YouTube UM that will be posting
Speaker 1: soon some little visuals and we'll try to get you
Speaker 1: guys more visuals soon. But anyway, we're getting the funk
Speaker 1: up out of here. Thanks for having me again, guys,
Speaker 1: beautiful black queens. Thank you bye, guys. Than