1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it. 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: I'm an og Okay Storytime podcast host. I don't care. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,960 Speaker 1: I'm making sure that you stay here for the next 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: two minutes. 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 2: All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 2: before we get into this episode. 7 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, we got some ads coming up. Just stick around. 8 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 3: Stick around. 9 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: A professor tried to boss me around until she realized 10 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: who my husband is. 11 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, do you not even know who my husband is? 12 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: And it's back to School Week on Okay Storytime Podcast, 13 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: where we're cracking up the wildest campus tales from college 14 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: sweethearts to evil professors that'll make you question is my 15 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: student loan worth it? If you're new here and looking 16 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: for the story my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly 17 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: and now I'm seriously suspicious. Just click the link in 18 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: the show's notes and description, or search back to School Week, 19 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dive into 20 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: this one. My husband works for a pretty prestigious university 21 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: as the director of student Life. He oversees a decent 22 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: sized staff and their work encompasses all manners of student 23 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: activities groups, Greek life, et cetera. By the way, this 24 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: comes from Fluffel for five and if you want to 25 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the rt slash Okay 26 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: story time separed it so a little background before I 27 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: get into the incident. A few months ago we were 28 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: expecting our baby. Most people on campus knew this and 29 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: knew that my husband, let's call him Joe, would be 30 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: taking paternity leave. When the big day came, I called 31 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: them at work and told them it's time meet me 32 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: at the hospital. And he dropped everything and ran at 33 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: the door, as you do in the delivery room. We 34 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: had plenty of downtime, so from time to time he 35 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: checked his work email while I rested. He's looking through 36 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: it and goes what the f A professor wrote him 37 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: the most caustic, unhinged rant, saying, basically, I came into 38 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: your office to see you about a matter concerning my students, 39 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: and you weren't there despite the department hours clearly dating 40 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: eight to five. This is unacceptable and unprofessional. Contact me Immediately, 41 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: he looled and said, won't she feel silly when she 42 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: gets this out of office reply? But no, ten minutes later, 43 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: she's pestering him again. Finally, he sent her a very 44 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: terse reply, and it seemed that was the end of it, 45 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: but not for long. Every day for the next week 46 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 1: this professor came into the office demanding to know if 47 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,799 Speaker 1: Joe was there. More than one tear was shed by 48 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: the staff during this time. I don't know exactly what 49 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: she was saying or why no one else could do 50 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: what she needed. The staff was kind enough not to 51 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: burden Joe with this while he was on paternity leave, 52 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: but reports are it was like having an angry dementor 53 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: come through. On the first day Joe returned to work, 54 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: he got to meet this professor face to face. He 55 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: was in his office on face time with me. Actually, 56 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: when yelling erupts from down the hall. Uh oh, he 57 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: says to me, But that's her. We hung up and 58 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: what conversation happened in that office can only be imagined. 59 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: Or maybe he told me and I forgot hashtag newborn life. 60 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: By all accounts, she was cantankerous, irate, and incorrect in 61 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: what she was trying to do, and could not be 62 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: told otherwise. As he is in charge of the department 63 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: but not of her, he could only put his foot 64 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: down on the request, but not the behavior. Finally she 65 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: left and the whole situation was done and dusted, finished 66 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: and forgotten, but again not for long. Fast forward to yesterday. 67 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: I decided to pop in with the baby to surprise 68 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: him and hopefully we could go to lunch also show 69 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: off the baby. Of course, when we arrived, it was 70 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: squeeze all around from the office staff, and one of 71 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: the ladies took the baby for a tour of the 72 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: around the building. 73 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 3: That's cute. She just steals your baby. 74 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: I've been holding that kid for three months straight, so 75 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: I was happy to let her. Joe's admin assistant told 76 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: me he was in a meeting for another ten or 77 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: so minutes, and then she went off on the baby 78 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: world tour. So I decided to sit in his office 79 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: and enjoy merciful silence. But and you guessed it, not 80 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: for long. Oh No, we know who's coming. She's on 81 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: her way, stomping through heels, clicking. 82 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 2: I can hear him. 83 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, enter the professor from Heck. I knew it was 84 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: her before she said one word. She looked like an 85 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: ivory tower Karen with a I want to talk to 86 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: your dean hairdoo professor from Heck. 87 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 4: Does nobody do any work around here. This is outrageous. 88 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 4: Where is admin assistant? Why is Joe even on the 89 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 4: payroll and he's never here? Go find him? 90 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: What? 91 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 4: Oh my fing god, are you effing hungover to accept 92 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 4: a simple direction? 93 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: What the f is wrong with you? I punt your 94 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: butt out of class looking like that. 95 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,840 Speaker 4: I don't care where he is. 96 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:53,280 Speaker 1: Go and get Joe me. Oh you think I'm a student. 97 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pretend. 98 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 4: I'm not a student now, sitting in the office with 99 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 4: the university sweatshirt and all book bag. What group are 100 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 4: you in? Because Joe will be very interested to hear 101 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 4: how nept you are. 102 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, book bag? Oh yeah, diaper bag. 103 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:10,119 Speaker 3: Loll. 104 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 1: At this point, I decided to ride this out and 105 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: hope he comes back and sees it in progress. 106 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 2: Ope, he's kind trolling right now? 107 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like, yeah, uh huh. 108 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 2: I have no consequences to where this action will go. 109 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: How far can we let it go? 110 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 3: Op? 111 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: He says, let's say I am a student. What makes 112 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 1: you think I work here? That was exactly the wrong 113 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: or right, depending on your point of view. Thing to 114 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 1: say this? Lady comes undone in a torrent of maniacal hissing, 115 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: and shrieking. Her vitriolnew no bounds as she directed me, 116 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: the office staff, my husband, all students except hers, the 117 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: building itself. I've never seen such a tantrum. Give the 118 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: baby a few years. As she's having her belt down, 119 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: I moved out of the chair where I'd been sitting 120 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: and sidled up to a photo of our wedding that 121 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: Joe hung up. She just goes, She goes, like she goes, 122 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: she goes. 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 2: She points out it. 124 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 5: Like, Hey, it's this picture on the wall is pretty great. 125 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 3: Huh whoever's in that photos? Really track? 126 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,919 Speaker 5: Yeah, this guy's got a hot. 127 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 2: What life also great? Riding super nova? Says yes, amazing, Right. 128 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: I leaned against the wall like a laconic. I leaned 129 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 1: against the wall like a laconic cowboy, with my foot up, 130 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 1: arms folded, smirking. Unsurprisingly, she didn't notice the similarities between 131 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: the beaming bride and the dumpy, sleep deprived chick standing 132 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 1: before in her before her, but I remained committed. 133 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 5: To the con pause. Laconic is basically a way to 134 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 5: say a man a few words. M a interesting context 135 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 5: of applying it to a person. 136 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 2: Apparently, she is giving it. She is giving a laconic 137 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 2: vibes right now. 138 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she just goes. 139 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 2: She's really said much. The conversation has been ninety percent 140 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 2: this professor in ten percent, Opie. 141 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: After several moments of non star abhorrent of verbal abuse. 142 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 4: Joe's not even fit for community college Holie. After he 143 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 4: get a job. Here was the one that made me toortal. 144 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 4: She didn't like that much. 145 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: I hear a flurry of footsteps coming flying down the hall. 146 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: The admin assistant comes sliding through the door like Kramer, 147 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: face white as a sheet. I ask her if Joe 148 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: Junior is okay. Another coworker had him in another office 149 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: because they heard uh Professor from Heck and didn't want 150 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: his baby self to learn what madness lurks in the world. 151 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: That's such a tender age. She has exactly enough time 152 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: to answer yes before Professor from Heck Unleasha's the kraken 153 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: in her direction visa the ineptitude of ma clutch pearls. 154 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: This is the admin assistant. 155 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what is wrong with this one? Why did 156 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: she wake up with the wrong side of the bedroom? 157 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 3: I don't know. 158 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: I don't think she's ever woken up on the right 159 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: side of the bed. You know why, dang man, Admin assistant, Wait, 160 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: what are you talking about? That's missus, department head. Me 161 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: still pose like the Marlboro man, points at my picture 162 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: and right on cue. Here comes the man of the hour, Joe, 163 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: complete with Joe Junior in arm. The coworker holding the 164 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: baby had called his cell phone and told them what 165 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: was happening and to get back here a sap. Joe 166 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: was livid, but that eerie, scary sort that is schodenfreud 167 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: lover's delight when directed at a deserving recipient. He handed 168 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: me the baby and asked if I was all right, 169 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: then turned to Professor from Heck. Joe, get out, don't 170 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: come back until I've spoken to your department chair. I'm 171 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 1: going to lunch. Me boy, do I have a story 172 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,719 Speaker 1: to tell you? And out the door. We swept off 173 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: the lunch where we got pizza and migrains from laughing 174 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: so hard. Eh, that's fun. At this time, I don't 175 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: know what action is being taken against Professor from Heck, 176 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: but if I asked, I will surely be happy to 177 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: give testimony. 178 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: She's gonna say it in such a cool way of 179 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 2: the story. Man, you're the coolest part I think she's 180 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 2: the coolest person ever. 181 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: There is an update, folks. But that was great. Yeah, 182 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:09,839 Speaker 1: excellently handled. Loved it. She sucks. That lady sucks, and. 183 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 2: Uh, like, what possesses a person to go to this 184 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 2: grade of links and still be in the right. 185 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: I mean, even if she was a student, why are 186 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: you treating OPI like a you know, why are you treating. 187 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 2: A student like I've seen some teachers that just like 188 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 2: the power and the power they have o her students 189 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 2: what they can do. 190 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: Agreed, But there is an update, folks. Okay, Joe talked 191 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: to the head of the Department of Engineering and turns 192 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: out professor from HECK is an associate professor from ECK 193 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: and therefore I'm tenured. Wow, Joe is leaving for a 194 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: conference tomorrow and won't be back until Wednesday, so I 195 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: probably won't know more until then, but stay tuned. 196 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 2: It's not even she's just what what you take a 197 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 2: little bit of power, you just go crazy with you. 198 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't even have like security here, man admin 199 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: assistant is gathering up a paper trail of literal papers 200 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: that Professor from HECKS has submitted that she isn't allowed 201 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: to and checks she signed that she can't sign. She'll 202 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: also be forwarding all harmful emails from Professor fro Meck 203 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: and making a written statement of her behavior. Joe will 204 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: probably send the emails he received HR and the department chair, 205 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: but he's not as heated now on his own behalf, 206 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: but still lived about the way the staff are being 207 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 1: treated as he was the other day, as he was 208 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: the other day, and might not press too hard except 209 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: in support of the staff. And there's another update. Admin 210 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 1: assistant has submitted her complaint to HR. The professor from 211 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,599 Speaker 1: X department chair suggested to her that she not contact 212 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: Joe's department, not for the least of which reason. The 213 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,119 Speaker 1: things she's trying to do can only be done by students, 214 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: and she overtook the responsibility in an effort to mega 215 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: ultra micromanage them. Call surprise that she treats her students 216 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: like that and usurped control of a student led group. 217 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: In all likelihood, this process will drag on for some time, 218 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: and she'll probably get a slap on the wrist for 219 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: both offenses and folks. 220 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 3: There's an update. 221 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: I slap on the wrist. I don't think that's warranted. Okay, okay, 222 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 2: slap on the risk as long as she gets to 223 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: go to therapy too. 224 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: I think I think she could get way more trouble. 225 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: I think she's like actively causing everyone in different departments 226 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: so much trouble and multiple people have complained. 227 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 2: Multiple people and signing checks. 228 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 1: I think she can watch update for that girl got 229 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: censured and asked to step down to another institution, jail, 230 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: Heck wherever. When we last heard from the professor from HECK, 231 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: she was making support staff and add my assistants cry 232 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,439 Speaker 1: on a weekly basis. Yikes, get this girl out. During 233 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: these summer months, most of the students have been off campus, 234 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: but that hasn't stopped professor from HECK from bringing the drama. 235 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: I'll warn you now, I'm going to obscure some of 236 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: the details to protect the parties involved, innocent and otherwise. 237 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: Part of what the professor from HAC did that started 238 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: all this trouble in the first place was steamrolling the 239 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,719 Speaker 1: leaders of a student group she was mentoring, taking over 240 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: the responsibility, and being an absolute monster to everyone involved. 241 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: She was told umpteen times that the group's treasury was 242 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,079 Speaker 1: solely a responsibility of the students, and yet refuse to 243 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: let them so much as play a part. Even though 244 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: she's given Joe a wide berth, she continues to be 245 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:32,599 Speaker 1: harmful to everyone else in the department. He could not 246 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: let this go on and began a too pronged approach 247 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: to flesh her out. In addition to working with HR 248 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 1: and providing them weekly examples of her awfulness, he also 249 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 1: asked the employee who works with the incoming and outgoing 250 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: checks from and two student groups to dig deep. Sure enough, 251 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: Jackpot Eureka, Professor FROMHC was signing the checks. She can't. 252 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: Submitting the checks she can't. Hence the fights with the 253 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: office staff to making over the funds from the group 254 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: once received, cooking the books and skimming off the top. 255 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: No way, You're done, girl, You're done, Yanks. In the 256 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: same week, Joe received word from HR that action would 257 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 1: be taken and learned about the straight up fraud, which 258 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: probably caused Professor from HECK to be an extra prickly pair. 259 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: He received a call from the chair of professor from 260 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: X College. The guy was halfway around the world on vacation, 261 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 1: but he was so disgusted by all of this he 262 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: actually spoke to Joe to discuss matters I like to 263 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: think he was sitting on top of an elephant and 264 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: or drinking a Singapore Sling while making this call. There 265 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: is a little bit left to this story. Do you 266 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: have any final thoughts? 267 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 3: Riley? 268 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 2: I am seeing everything kind of come together here. Why 269 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 2: she was being so mad at everyone because she's if 270 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 2: she steamrolled, she got what she wanted. And thank you 271 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 2: Opie's husband for stopping done and for uh just forgeting 272 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 2: the catalyst. 273 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: Really yeah, yeah, without you, there'd be nothing. She would 274 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: still have a job, and we wouldn't have this story. 275 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 2: And people will still be crying. 276 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: But there's a little bit left. Professor from Hex horrendous 277 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: actions now brought to light. She was presented with a 278 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: choice of police involvement or resignation. Last I heard, she 279 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: still hasn't made an official reply. Now, if it were me, 280 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 1: I'd have chucked Professor from Eck in the slammer and 281 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: thrown away the key. But the powers up you don't 282 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: live for messy drama like I do. I guess there 283 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: you have it, friends, theirs are exciting, if not slightly disappointing. Conclusion, 284 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: So long form a Professor from Eck, good luck finding 285 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: a job in any school anywhere. Now common one says, 286 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: says that was a delightful read. I'll never understand why 287 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: someone who's doing something illegal or unethical would draw more 288 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: unnecessary attention to themselves. Makes it way more likely you'll 289 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: get caught. Indeed, but she did it, and she got caught. 290 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: Sucks for her. My sister accused me of stealing her boyfriends. 291 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: Now her husband won't leave me alone steal him too. 292 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: When I was in college, I had a rough patch 293 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: with my sister at Gabrielle, and we were both very 294 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: mean and vindictive to each other. It started with an 295 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: inheritance that was rightfully hers that my parents made her 296 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: split with me. Long story short, she became resentful of 297 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: having to share her money with me and kept track 298 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: of every dollar I spent. By the way, this comes 299 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: from blar what now, what now? And if you want 300 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash 301 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: Okay storytime separate. She even reported to my parents anytime 302 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: I went out drinking with friends or doing anything I 303 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: shouldn't be doing, just so she could say, see, I 304 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: told you, we shouldn't have given her the money. I 305 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: was twenty years old at the time and very resentful 306 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: of having what felt like a PI intruding on my 307 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: life and making my parents constantly yell at me. So 308 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: I did the immature thing and kissed her boyfriend, and 309 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: one Thanksgiving or Christmas can't even remember. Two years later, 310 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 1: when my sister and my relationship was improved but not perfect, 311 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: we got in a petty fight before her birthday and 312 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: I wound up flirting with her boyfriend as some kind 313 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: of immature revenge. I remember the cringe faces my friends 314 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: made at me were basically grinding with Gabrielle's boyfriend on 315 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: the dance floor that night, and I'm still completely embarrassed 316 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: of that memory, even though it was five years ago. 317 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: Fast forward to now, my sister and I have a 318 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: good relationship as we are both adults with confidence, stable careers, etc. 319 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: It helps that we did not see each other as 320 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: much before because I moved across the country for several years. 321 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: I've since moved back to the city close to our 322 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: hometown where my sister lives, and we have resumed weekly 323 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: or bi monthly dinners with the family on Saturdays or Sundays. 324 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: Four dinners ago, my mom was remarking on the state 325 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: of our relationship now and commenting on how silly it 326 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: was that we used to get on so poorly. My 327 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: sister joked, but I was a crappy human being then 328 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: and I'm not now. Her husband, Nick, reacted strongly to 329 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: crappy human beings, so in defense of her word choice, 330 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: my sister revealed the thing about me kissing her boyfriend 331 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: once and then grinding on another years later. It was 332 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: a bit uncomfortable, but we all laughed and went on 333 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: with the rest of the night. But since that dinner, 334 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: I noticed Nick starting to flirt with me. Ah, I fear, 335 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: oh pee, this is a boy who cried Wolf's situation. 336 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: It sucks that Nick is flirting with you, and you 337 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: probably aren't going to flirt with him, hopefully, but I 338 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 1: fear You've done it two times and on the third 339 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 1: people aren't going to believe you when you say that 340 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: you weren't flirting with him. 341 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, and you set yourself up. 342 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: I can't even explain some of the moments because they 343 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: were wordless, but I'll list the most blatant offenses below. 344 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: That night, we were watching TV and he said I looked 345 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: like a certain actress on TV who in that scene 346 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: happened to be wearing a very revealing outfit. It felt 347 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: a little weird, but I figured I was the one 348 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: being weird because he said it in front of my 349 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: sister and she didn't flinch. Next time he came to 350 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: hang in my room. Well, Mom and sister cooked downstairs. 351 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: He has done this once or twice before, but this 352 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: time kept looking for pictures of my college days because 353 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 1: he wanted to see what I looked like back when 354 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 1: I was seducing Gabrielle's boyfriends. He got me going through 355 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,719 Speaker 1: my favorite fitness instagrams, lots of booty shots element and 356 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: asked if I was watching corn. I said no, and 357 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: he exaggerated a disappointed expression and said, let me know 358 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: if you are okay, are more, but say what you 359 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: gotta say. 360 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 6: At first, I was like, that's not necessarily like saying like, 361 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 6: oh you look like yeah. He could have gotten away 362 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 6: with that one, even the second one, which was like 363 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 6: hanging out in your room if he's done it before, sure, 364 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,640 Speaker 6: if it's normal, but but no. 365 00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's more of these instances, so I'll keep going. 366 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: He got too close to me in the kitchen, and 367 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: I said, you don't have to stand so close, to 368 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 1: which he responded, is it okay if I do? I 369 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 1: said I'd prefer that he didn't, and he made a 370 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: narrowed eye face at me as if to convey being skeptical. 371 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: I flat out said, why are you being weird? He 372 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: didn't give me a real answer. I'm angry because he 373 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: never really acted inappropriately around me before. We had a 374 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: pretty good relationship and liked to talk about sports, movies 375 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,479 Speaker 1: the like. I always felt he and my sister were 376 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: a good match and that he was a good husband. 377 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 1: But now it seems he heard a story and saw 378 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: it as his green light to start messing with me. 379 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 1: I feel I feel he sees me as someone whose 380 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 1: word against him would be invalid because of my history, 381 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,679 Speaker 1: and I want very badly to prove him wrong and 382 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: just tell my sister and even parents what is happening. 383 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: But I don't feel that any of his offenses thus 384 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: far sound big enough to report to someone about. At 385 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: the same time, I don't want to keep going to 386 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: dinner and just waiting to be pestered in some way 387 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: or another just so I can point it out. I'm livid, 388 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 1: and I'm a little embarrassed, and I don't know which 389 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: way is best to approach the situation. I'm not comfortable 390 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,160 Speaker 1: telling anyone I know about this, so I appreciate any 391 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: insight or advice at it. A lot is being made 392 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 1: of the will. When I say rightfully, I mean legally. 393 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 1: Grandmother wrote Gabrielle in because she was the older child, 394 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: but it always referred to it as our money. Many 395 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: years back, Dad asked Mom to have Grandma legally change it, 396 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: and Mom went nuts on him, saying that it was 397 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: ugly and not how our family worked. Grandma did not 398 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 1: know about my or Gabrielle's rough patch or any of 399 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: my poor behavior, so the will was certainly not written 400 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: with that in mind. This hurts to say, but she 401 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: passed away thinking we were perfect young women. And there 402 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 1: is an update. But do you have any thoughts? 403 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 3: You gotta talk to that brother or the sister. 404 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: Now, yes, like get the thing is, yeah, she might 405 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: not believe you, but I think you need to go 406 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: to your mom, go to your sister and say hey. 407 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 1: Ever since that conversation, I've been feeling really really uncomfortable. 408 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: He's done this, this and this, uh, and I really 409 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable being around him. 410 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 6: Because if you if it comes out from him, yeah, 411 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,719 Speaker 6: if it comes out from someone else that it happened, 412 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,640 Speaker 6: it's like he said, you cried wolf. 413 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 3: It's never gonna work. 414 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 1: And every and I honestly don't even think your sister 415 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: will believe you when you say this, like be ready, 416 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 1: I don't think she'll believe you. Maybe she will, maybe 417 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 1: she'll surprise us, but I think that you tell her 418 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 1: right away, you tell the mom right away, and then 419 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 1: every time you see him, or just even before that, 420 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: every time you see him, you're far away from him. 421 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 1: If he tries to get flirty, leave the room like immediately, like, 422 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: do not put up with any of that. 423 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 6: Because also after you tell her, they're gonna be more 424 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 6: aware of it, Yes, exactly, so they'll actually be watching 425 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 6: you for it, which it could help your cause. 426 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 3: I think you're still screwed. 427 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, you got this, Zoopie. There is an update though, 428 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: figured i'd write this for the people who asked for 429 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: an update. Since writing my last post, I've been to 430 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 1: one more dinner at my parents' house. I brought a 431 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,719 Speaker 1: family friend with me and asked her to keep an 432 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,680 Speaker 1: eye out for any funny behavior coming from Nick. I 433 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: also hoped her presence would dwart any of his advances. 434 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: I think a combination of my friend's presence and him 435 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: being the one cooking that night made it so that 436 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: he didn't talk to me much, which was great. Of course, 437 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: there was still a weird moment, and it happened when 438 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: I was grabbing wine from my parents' fridge in the garage. 439 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: I had no idea Nick followed me, so I yelped 440 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: when he said something. My sister called from the kitchen 441 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 1: to ask what happened, and I said, Nick scared me 442 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: because he came out of nowhere. He said there's a 443 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: joke to be made about that. I gave him a 444 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 1: weird look and he said, me call me out of nowhere. 445 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 1: Clearly a spicy related thing. Yeah, yeah, pretty obviously. I ignored 446 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: it and booked it out of the garage before he 447 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: could do anything else, and for the rest of the night, 448 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: that was it. My friend and I left early, and 449 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,439 Speaker 1: I said goodbye to everyone from the door, pretending to 450 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 1: be in a rush. Two days after that dinner, I 451 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 1: woke up to way more Instagram notifications than I'm used to. 452 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: I checked it and it was one brand new account 453 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 1: tagging me in a bunch of spicy sleep joke memes 454 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,920 Speaker 1: or spicy related pictures, a lot of them being women 455 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: wearing wet T shirts. There was also one of a 456 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:28,199 Speaker 1: woman in an S and M looking catwoman outfit, and 457 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: I was tagged along with the words you in this 458 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 1: That's disgusting. Immediately suspected Nick didn't know how to approach 459 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: it and didn't tag me in anything beyond that burst 460 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 1: of ten photos, so I didn't do anything about it. 461 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: I told some friends, but wasn't sure what else I 462 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 1: could really do. Later that week, I got a Facebook 463 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: friend request from someone I didn't know. I recently created 464 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: a new for people I actually know Facebook profile close 465 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 1: friends and family I actually talked to and haven't seen recently, 466 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,400 Speaker 1: or and have seen recently. I don't get friend requests 467 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: off it anymore, as I'm totally private and unsearchable, so 468 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: this request was the only one that day and made 469 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 1: me instantly suspicious. I thought it was some fake profile 470 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 1: Nick made, but weirdly enough, I looked into this guy's 471 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: profile and saw that he was a real person with 472 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: real friends and a job. He is googleable a check 473 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: to see his high school or college to see if 474 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: he was a friend of Nick's, and there were no 475 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: schools listed, only current employment. Also, he lives in the Midwest, 476 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: in a state where I know no one. Most everyone 477 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,120 Speaker 1: I know lives on the East Coast. Anyway, I accepted 478 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: the friend request and asked how this guy knew and 479 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: found me, And the first thing I got back from 480 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 1: him was a long and very explicit story using my 481 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: name as the main character. Considering how he messaged it 482 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 1: to me right away, it was clearly written already in 483 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: waiting for me. I took a screenshot blocked him instantly, 484 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: and I've since regretted it because I wish I could 485 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: look at his profile and find his connection to Nick. Oh. 486 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,880 Speaker 1: Fel so bad for OP because it feels like when 487 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: like in a movie where you know, the Invisible Man movie. Yeah, 488 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 1: this is what it feels like where she's going crazy. Yeah, 489 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: thinking that he's everywhere and he like kind of it 490 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 1: kind of is Yeah. 491 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 6: My thing though, is like, is he? And I'm sure 492 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 6: we'll find out getting friends in on this. 493 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 1: I feel like he might be. But also there's a 494 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: chance that this is just like a weird Facebook you know, 495 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: troll or something. 496 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 3: With her name in it. 497 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: Though, well, you can Facebook It depends on how much 498 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: information they have, you know, pretty weird though. Definitely take 499 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 1: screenshots of everything that you get and send them to 500 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 1: your friends, your family. 501 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 6: You might know Facebook better. Couldn't you just unblock him 502 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 6: and find the connection to Nick? 503 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, that's true. 504 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,640 Speaker 6: She was like, and I'm so mad that I blocked 505 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 6: him so quickly unblock him? 506 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, that you could just block him, that's a good point. 507 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 6: I get maybe the fear of like, he'll send me more, 508 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 6: but just real quick. 509 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: Real quick. Honestly, I feel like there was no way 510 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: this isn't all Nick. Even if that wasn't his Facebook profile. 511 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: I feel like it's someone he knows and he put 512 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: him up to this. He and I have never talked 513 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 1: about wet t shirts or Catwoman, but I also don't 514 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,360 Speaker 1: know anyone else who would do it except him. There 515 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: is a little bit left to this story. Do you 516 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,200 Speaker 1: have any final thoughts? 517 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 3: Part of me is like, gotta be Nick hundred percent. 518 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. 519 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 6: But I think maybe he told a friend about it 520 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 6: and was like, hey, this girl's open to flirting. 521 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I don't think. Maybe it's not directly Nick, 522 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 3: but maybe he's like pastor off to like a gross friend. 523 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think what you should do is go to 524 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: your mom, go to your sister, say hey, I've been 525 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 1: noticing these kind of weird, kind of uncomfortable things for Nick. 526 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: Don't really like it. If you could talk to him 527 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: about it, like you can frame me in that way. Two, 528 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 1: you don't even have to accuse Nick of the Facebook thing. 529 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 1: Just say, look at this super creepy thing I got. 530 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 1: I have no idea who this is, and just like 531 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: literally show it. 532 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 3: Everything just needs to be out there, yeah, in the world. 533 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: Just start telling them everything. You don't have to accuse 534 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: Nick of anything. But there's a little bit left of 535 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: this story. So yeah, that's my update. I honestly have 536 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 1: no idea if I have a move here at all. 537 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: Since everything happened mostly anonymously on social media. I've asked 538 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: around about the Facebook guy and even asked Gabrielle, but 539 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 1: no one knows that name. I have made excuses to 540 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 1: avoid future dinners at my parents' home, and we'll continue 541 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: to do so. I'll see them on my own when 542 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: Nick isn't around. There hasn't been any online pestering since then, 543 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 1: but I won't be surprised if another incident pops up 544 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: sometime soon. Not sure how and where it'll happen, but 545 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm hoping it will include a that points me towards Nick, 546 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: because right now I've got nothing and that's the end 547 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: of the story. John here og host. 548 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick 549 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 2: three minute break from hoss from our sponsors. 550 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 6: My husband and his mother are making me so crazy 551 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 6: that I almost cheated. 552 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: That's a pretty bad excuse. Hello. 553 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 6: First, I would like to say that I come from 554 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 6: an economically developed country in Asia, but the society here 555 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 6: is still very patriarchal in its view of family and 556 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 6: the women's roles within it and piety. The way I 557 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 6: was raised influences the way I think and look at situations. 558 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 6: It may be hard for others to understand, but that's 559 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 6: just the way things are. By the way, this comes 560 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 6: from g one Ta, and if you want to submit 561 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. 562 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 6: So background, I will try to be brief with this. 563 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 6: It is to provide context on the issues that exist 564 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 6: that I describe later on. I met my husband Sean 565 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 6: at Universe when I was twenty doing undergraduate while he 566 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 6: was twenty eight and completing his doctorate. My major was 567 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 6: English education, and I had planned to spend my last 568 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 6: year of university abroad in either the US or UK. However, 569 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 6: Sean told me he loved me asked me to stay 570 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 6: with him, and I did because I loved him too. 571 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 6: I graduated and found work as a teacher's assistant at 572 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 6: an elementary school. Sean finished his doctorate a few years 573 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 6: later and began working as an assistant professor at our 574 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 6: alma mater. We got married in twenty ten. My very 575 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 6: wealthy in laws bought us a gorgeous house as a 576 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 6: wedding gift and paid for our honeymoon, during which I 577 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 6: got pregnant. 578 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 3: My husband and. 579 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 6: In laws requested me to retire from work at least 580 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 6: until our child started school. I agreed because one I 581 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 6: wanted to spend as much time with the baby as possible, 582 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 6: and two I was grateful to my in laws for 583 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 6: everything they'd done and wanted to follow their wishes. Three, 584 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 6: it is commonplace in in my country, and my mother 585 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 6: had done the same for me. And four my in 586 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 6: laws offered to supply a monthly allowance to support our family. 587 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,480 Speaker 6: In twenty eleven, my daughter was born. It was the 588 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 6: happiest day of my life, and she grew into the 589 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 6: most beautiful, sweet little girl. My husband worked around fifty 590 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 6: to sixty hours per week and it was tough, but 591 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 6: I loved being with my daughter, and my in laws 592 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 6: and parents helped me a lot. 593 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 3: In this time. 594 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 6: My husband and I had some disagreements about his contributions 595 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 6: to raising our daughter, the current issue. In twenty fourteen, 596 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 6: my father in law passed away unexpectedly. The whole family 597 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 6: took the death very harshly. My mother in law was 598 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 6: very adamant about not living alone, and because my husband 599 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 6: is the eldest son in the family, his mother became 600 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 6: his responsibility, and so she moved in with us. Not 601 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 6: long after, we enrolled my daughter in a preschool in 602 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 6: the neighborhood. I was originally going to start job hunting 603 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 6: around this time. However, because of my mother in law, 604 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 6: I decided to delay going back to work so that 605 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 6: she wouldn't be alone. 606 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 3: During the day, which is very nice. 607 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 6: She was very curt and highly critical of me, but 608 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 6: I endured it because I was grateful to her and 609 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 6: my father in law, and out of love for my husband. 610 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 6: I was very kind and accommodating despite her behavior to me, 611 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 6: as I thought she would get better as she grieved, 612 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 6: but instead she got progressively more controlling, manipulative, and generally malicious. 613 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 6: Obvious disdain towards me started when I expressed that I 614 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 6: wanted to return to work. She accused me of being ungrateful, 615 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 6: trying to escape her, and not caring that she is 616 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 6: left alone all day, asking me if I expected her 617 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 6: to do all the housework while my husband and I 618 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 6: are both working. I decided to just commit to be 619 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 6: a stay at home mom as I thought that submitting 620 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 6: to my mother in law would solve the problem, and 621 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 6: it hasn't. For the past almost five years, my self 622 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 6: esteem has been chipped away at and I feel like 623 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 6: I'm at the end of the rope now. There are 624 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 6: just too many things to write in this format, so 625 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 6: I will just list some main points below. I gained 626 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 6: around thirty three pounds fifteen kilograms after giving birth, and 627 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,440 Speaker 6: my mother in law constantly made comments about my weight 628 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 6: and tried to restrict me from eating certain foods like 629 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 6: rice and meats. I joined a city jogging club to 630 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 6: get exercise and because I myself wanted to lose a 631 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 6: bit of baby weight. I lost ten kilograms of the weight, 632 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 6: but I haven't been able to keep off the last 633 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 6: five kilograms eleven pounds. But I am pretty to all 634 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 6: five to seven, and I like how the extra curves 635 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 6: look on me. But my husband and mother in law 636 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 6: still tell me that I'm overweight, even though medically I 637 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 6: am far from an unhealthy body mass index. 638 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry your husband is saying that too. Bye bye, 639 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: you had a baby. You literally had a baby. You 640 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,600 Speaker 1: had a child. You had a child, and your body 641 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: changed after it did an amazing thing, like that's how 642 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:57,720 Speaker 1: bodies work. 643 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, you never comment on that. I should never even 644 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 3: if you didn't have a baby. 645 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 646 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 6: Mother in law is constantly making pointed comments about me, 647 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 6: from my cooking to the way I do laundry. 648 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 3: I wait what I wear. 649 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,600 Speaker 6: For example, she accused me of trying to attract other 650 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 6: men because I wear spandex leggings to jogging meats. She 651 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 6: thinks it's inappropriate to wear a chiffon blouse only to 652 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 6: the store, even though she can't go outside without being 653 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 6: wrapped in designer brands. Or when I curl my hair 654 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 6: before going out, she'll say, which man are you meeting today. 655 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 6: She often wonders out loud why I'm not good at 656 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 6: anything of use. I heard my mother in law talking 657 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 6: on the phone with someone about how I still have 658 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 6: the trophy I received from winning a campus beauty contest 659 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,960 Speaker 6: when I was in university. She told the person she 660 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 6: me is just lucky that her school only had four 661 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 6: thousand students. She wouldn't even touch the top ten at 662 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 6: why University, which has over thirty thousand students. The professors 663 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 6: in my my husband's department have dinner parties, and he 664 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 6: and his mother always tell me to diet before I 665 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 6: go so that I don't embarrass him by being the 666 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 6: thickest woman there at the dinners. My husband becomes annoyed 667 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 6: if I express my opinions or try to engage in 668 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 6: academic conversations. Even when the other men ask for my opinion, 669 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 6: he always pats my leg, which is his signal for 670 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,800 Speaker 6: me to stop talking. 671 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,400 Speaker 1: I'm not in a place where I experience probably what 672 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 1: you're experiencing culturally. Yeah, so I can never understand exactly 673 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,600 Speaker 1: what you're going through and how hard it is to 674 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:39,440 Speaker 1: break from that. But my advice to you is to 675 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:40,320 Speaker 1: leave your husband. 676 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can if you can. 677 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 1: You're not happy taking care of his mother. You seem 678 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 1: pretty young still, like you're at most maybe you know, 679 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,799 Speaker 1: mid twenties, I would say probably, and he's probably like 680 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,640 Speaker 1: mid thirties now. Like you have so much, you know, life, 681 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: you could do whatever you want. You do not have 682 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: to not pursue your dreams because he doesn't want you to. 683 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 6: I feel like a big issue could be if they 684 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 6: are in a country where it's like women's rights like that, 685 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,920 Speaker 6: for getting the kid at all, that's a good point. 686 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 6: Any custody ability. I hope you have a son. 687 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah. 688 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 6: My husband always complains about his stresses to me, but 689 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 6: is always too tired to listen to my feelings or worries. 690 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 6: He blames me for the friction between my mother in 691 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,000 Speaker 6: law and me and things. The problems will just disappear 692 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 6: if I ignore them for a long enough. While there 693 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 6: is no spicy related intimacy in the marriage. When I 694 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 6: try to initiate, my husband usually says he is too 695 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,320 Speaker 6: tired or has no time, or initiated something that required 696 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,319 Speaker 6: no effort on his part and was not stimulating to 697 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 6: me at all. When he was in the mood, it 698 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 6: was fast with little foreplay, and he only satisfied himself. 699 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 6: As a result, I have stopped trying to be intimate 700 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 6: with him and rebuff him when he tries to initiation 701 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 6: eight with me. 702 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 5: Uh. 703 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 6: Though I do receive a lot of attention from males, 704 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,439 Speaker 6: I do not feel good about it because my own 705 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 6: husband does not act interested in me. Ninety five percent 706 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 6: of the time. I have wondered whether he is cheating 707 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 6: or if I don't look attractive to him because he 708 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,399 Speaker 6: is around young girls all the time. This has really 709 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 6: hurt my self image because my husband used to say 710 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 6: I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and 711 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 6: now he only looks at me when he is in 712 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 6: the mood for quick, spicy sleep. 713 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 3: I just I. 714 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:31,399 Speaker 1: Can't imagine that you're anywhere, like, at the very most, 715 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: you're thirty years old, yeah, in which case you're still young. 716 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 6: Yeah, because what they were already like together at twenty two, 717 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,919 Speaker 6: were together at twenty two, because well they met twenty 718 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,280 Speaker 6: they met at twenty two. 719 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,480 Speaker 1: And then have a kid. You know, so another kid 720 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 1: seems like still pretty young because she's a stay at 721 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: home mom with the kid. 722 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 6: Well, they put her into preschool, Okay, like five six Okay, so. 723 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,760 Speaker 1: She's probably around twenty six to twenty eight. Yeah, girl, 724 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 1: so young, you're so young, You're so young. 725 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,759 Speaker 6: My daughter what is starting to lose respect towards me 726 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,879 Speaker 6: because of the way my husband and mother in law 727 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 6: treat me. She has started copying my mother in law's 728 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,319 Speaker 6: habit of clicking her tongue at me. 729 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 3: She doesn't listen to me. 730 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 6: I have to ask her around three times to do 731 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,239 Speaker 6: something before she does it. When she has upset at me, 732 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,959 Speaker 6: she copies things that she has heard her grandmother say. 733 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 6: I feel like I am losing her. It was my 734 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 6: daughter's birthday last week, and my mother in law agreed 735 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 6: that I would make dinner for my daughter while she 736 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,720 Speaker 6: would buy a dessert. But when I arrived home after Errand's, 737 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,800 Speaker 6: my mother in law was in the process of preparing 738 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 6: a multi course meal. She told me she had changed 739 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,560 Speaker 6: her mind and forgotten to call me, so I had 740 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,560 Speaker 6: to run out and get a cake, even though it 741 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 6: was quite late. After dinner, I had to wash all 742 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,839 Speaker 6: of the dishes and clean all of the vegetable and 743 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,719 Speaker 6: meat scraps out of the sink while my daughter, mother 744 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 6: in law, and husband took a walk together without saying 745 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 6: anything to me. A few days later, I almost cheated 746 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 6: on my husband. A man from the running club, Justin, 747 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 6: who I had become acquainted with, told me that he 748 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 6: thought my hip flex or muscles were tight. He is 749 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 6: a personal trainer, and after the morning running finished, showed 750 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 6: me some stretches to doom. He said he had overheard 751 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 6: me telling another woman in the club that I was 752 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,960 Speaker 6: craving Italian food, and he asked me to go to 753 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:23,080 Speaker 6: his favorite Italian restaurant with him later that day. Honestly, 754 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,440 Speaker 6: I should have noticed his intentions with me, his intentions 755 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 6: with me from the stretching excuse. But Justin is a tall, 756 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 6: swarthy and well built man that all the women like, 757 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 6: and I was admittedly flattered by his attention, so I accepted. 758 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 6: We met for lunch. He was very charming and I 759 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,439 Speaker 6: flirted with him. He complimented me a lot, ended more 760 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,799 Speaker 6: asking than telling. After lunch, he invited me to go 761 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,400 Speaker 6: for a drive in his car, and I accepted at first, 762 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,360 Speaker 6: but excused myself when I realized what I was doing. 763 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 6: I know what would have happened if I had gotten in. 764 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,520 Speaker 6: I didn't think about my husband at all, just my daughter. 765 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:05,120 Speaker 6: I confess to my husband immediately. Oh, I mean, how 766 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,400 Speaker 6: do you feel about that? Because nothing happened? Yeah, well okay, okay. 767 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: If this were a good relationship, yes I'd be like, yes, 768 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: absolutely so good. And like, I still am not advocating 769 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,400 Speaker 1: that opecheet at all, Like OPI needs to leave her relationship. 770 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,560 Speaker 3: You still need to leave before anything happens. 771 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: But I feel like I left. So am going to 772 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 1: say like, oh, she should have done that. I think 773 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: she should have done it, but I think she is 774 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,320 Speaker 1: trying to save the relationship that is, or save a 775 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,000 Speaker 1: relationship that has already gone. Yeah, So I feel like 776 00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,680 Speaker 1: the solution is not tell him and try and fix it. 777 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,400 Speaker 1: It's leave it because. 778 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,160 Speaker 6: Almost we're like I had this feeling and because of that, yeah, 779 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,279 Speaker 6: we're not working exactly. Part of me felt bad, and 780 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 6: part of me felt like this was the way out. 781 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,800 Speaker 6: To my surprise, he broke down with tears and apologize. 782 00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 6: He said he was wrong and begged me to stay 783 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 6: with him. He said he wouldn't tell his mother and 784 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,719 Speaker 6: asked me to go to marriage counseling with him. 785 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,439 Speaker 3: He said he would change, but I don't believe him. 786 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 6: I know he does not respect me or love me, 787 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,799 Speaker 6: and from my meeting with Justin, I know that I 788 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 6: don't respect or love him either. 789 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:15,360 Speaker 3: Good. 790 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 6: I am not interested in being with him. But the 791 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,600 Speaker 6: one reason that I consider reconciliation. 792 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 3: Is for my daughter. We do have another update, But 793 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:24,760 Speaker 3: what are your thoughts. 794 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 1: I think that you would be doing your daughter more 795 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,360 Speaker 1: of a favor if you left, because you're already seeing 796 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:38,719 Speaker 1: her adopting these negative views on motherhood. Yeah, from her 797 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,919 Speaker 1: ma or from her grandma and her dad. They don't 798 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 1: respect you, and she's noticing and she's picking up on that. 799 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,640 Speaker 6: Yeah, I do wonder if the divorce would change any 800 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 6: of that. 801 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, leaving him would actually be a fix. 802 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 6: Like I'm almost just kind of like that might just 803 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,879 Speaker 6: unfortunately be a. 804 00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:01,440 Speaker 1: Really totally totally could. But I feel like, right now, yeah, 805 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,760 Speaker 1: she's already saying being told what to do. 806 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,319 Speaker 6: Yes, and she will see you out with someone who 807 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 6: loves you and cares for you. 808 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,600 Speaker 3: And if you don't want to teach her. 809 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:15,520 Speaker 6: That this is okay, Yeah, give her good standards, yes, please, Okay, 810 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 6: we're gonna find out a bit more about their country's laws, 811 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,040 Speaker 6: which will be good. In our country, divorce is somewhat 812 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 6: uncommon and kids from divided households are often subject to 813 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 6: bullying in school. I also love my daughter more than anything, 814 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 6: and I am terrified that she will hate me if 815 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 6: I leave my husband. At the same time, I cannot 816 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,759 Speaker 6: tolerate my mother in law any longer. Even if I 817 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,880 Speaker 6: go to marriage counseling, I am one hundred percent sure 818 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 6: that he would not agree to punt her out. I 819 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 6: am past the point of being thankful for the house 820 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 6: and the money. 821 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,720 Speaker 3: She's made my life terrible. 822 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,600 Speaker 6: I am so confused and conflicted about what to do, 823 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,440 Speaker 6: and I'm sorry that this post is much longer than 824 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,719 Speaker 6: I had planned. But I would really like advice that 825 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 6: comes from outside the view of my own culture. 826 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 3: Thank you. 827 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,200 Speaker 6: So if anyone reads this, and that's the end. 828 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, my advice from outside the culture is divorce. 829 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:06,239 Speaker 3: Divorce. 830 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,760 Speaker 1: I truly think in the long run your your daughter 831 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,279 Speaker 1: will benefit from the divorce, yeah, more so than she 832 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 1: will from, you know, maybe not getting bullied, but still 833 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 1: seeing her mother get bullied. 834 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:21,839 Speaker 6: Sam here og host. 835 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three 836 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,640 Speaker 1: minutes fads from our sponsors. First, my sister in law 837 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,960 Speaker 1: kept giving unsolicited advice. Now I don't want to. 838 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,520 Speaker 3: Hear my son give her worst advice. 839 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 1: I twenty eight female, had my son Kaisen, four months ago. 840 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 1: At twenty two weeks, I was diagnosed with partial placenta 841 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,880 Speaker 1: previa and we were hoping and praying it would resolve. 842 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,160 Speaker 1: But at twenty eight weeks I was told I have 843 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:50,320 Speaker 1: complete placenta previa. By the way, this comes from prestigious 844 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,640 Speaker 1: Ice seventy two ninety three and if you want to 845 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,760 Speaker 1: spit your own stories, go to the rs slash Oakay 846 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:58,279 Speaker 1: story time separate it. So this news hurt because I 847 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 1: had a birth plan, but my doctor's still closely monitored it, 848 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 1: even though he made it clear that there might be 849 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,520 Speaker 1: less chance of resolving it and I might have a 850 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 1: sea section. At thirty five weeks, I had heavy bleeding, 851 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,200 Speaker 1: so I delivered my beautiful baby boy through an emergency 852 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,399 Speaker 1: sea section. My son was in the NICU for two 853 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 1: weeks before we got to go home. Two weeks ago, 854 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,560 Speaker 1: there was a family party at my mother in law's house. 855 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,840 Speaker 1: I was sitting in the ladies when Kai started crying, 856 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,440 Speaker 1: so I breastfed him while chatting. Nobody had a problem 857 00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 1: with that. Then after that I handed him to my 858 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 1: sister in law since she wanted to play with him. 859 00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 1: While she was holding him, she said something. So they 860 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,319 Speaker 1: started talking about my sister in law's labor and she 861 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,240 Speaker 1: said it was a breeze. Then I said, oh, that's nice. 862 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 1: I hoped up a natural with my second someday. Then 863 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:50,719 Speaker 1: she said a natural birth needs preparation during the whole pregnancy. 864 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,359 Speaker 1: Then she went on to say, you never worked out 865 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 1: or got active much. So I told her it was 866 00:43:55,960 --> 00:44:01,360 Speaker 1: because of the placenta previous situation. This woman literally said, 867 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,680 Speaker 1: that's not an excuse. Though I had round ligament pain 868 00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: and I still managed to keep active, So that's different. 869 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,960 Speaker 1: That's a different thing. You just said different words. You 870 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,680 Speaker 1: said different, You said a different thing. 871 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,160 Speaker 3: And why are we like bullying her for birth? 872 00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,560 Speaker 1: It's so weird. I told her I was kept on 873 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,720 Speaker 1: bed rest half my pregnancy and had too many hospital visits, 874 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,040 Speaker 1: so I didn't want to do anything to risk putting 875 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,359 Speaker 1: myself in danger. Then she said, your body can feel 876 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,040 Speaker 1: the nerves and it reads accordingly. You should have relaxed 877 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,640 Speaker 1: and let nature take it course. That's how natural births work. 878 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,560 Speaker 1: The the section was avoidable. I told her to f 879 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,000 Speaker 1: herself and took my baby out of her arms and 880 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 1: went to my hobby. We left after apparently she told 881 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,719 Speaker 1: anyone who asked where I am that I got sensitive 882 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,840 Speaker 1: and left the party. After a few days, she asked 883 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 1: to see Kaysen and I said I'm not comfortable being 884 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,480 Speaker 1: around her at the moment. She accused me of weaponizing 885 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,600 Speaker 1: my son and using him to hurt her. Note the 886 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:02,360 Speaker 1: whole pregnancy, she kept giving unsolicited advice on how to 887 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,640 Speaker 1: fix the placenta previa, and I feel like she thinks 888 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: if I had listened to her, I would have had 889 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,839 Speaker 1: kaison naturally. I felt sad for a few weeks after 890 00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 1: birth because my birth plan didn't go how I wanted 891 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,440 Speaker 1: it to. These feelings just feel like they resurfaced. To 892 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: be honest, I thought I was okay. Am I the 893 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,000 Speaker 1: ale for grabbing him and not agreeing to visit her? 894 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,239 Speaker 1: And there is an update? But what do you think? No, 895 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 1: you're not. I mean if she hasn't apologized for what 896 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 1: she said, you don't know her anything? 897 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:35,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, not at all? And like that's your own medical issue. 898 00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, like what is she? She's not a doctor, she 899 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 1: doesn't know anything, anything, nothing. But there is an update. 900 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,320 Speaker 1: I made my post hours ago and I'm so overwhelmed 901 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:48,279 Speaker 1: at the amount of support and kindness I've gotten. So 902 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,759 Speaker 1: when I told my husband about what he did, I 903 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:55,400 Speaker 1: didn't like his reaction. I told him exactly what happened, 904 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:59,160 Speaker 1: and he said, I don't want to interfere in women arguments, babe. 905 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,400 Speaker 1: I then told him that he can at least ask 906 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,120 Speaker 1: his sister to be sensitive about my experience, and he said, 907 00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,359 Speaker 1: why don't you too talk to my mom about it 908 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 1: so she sits you two down and have a mature discussion. 909 00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: My husband knows sister in law is the apple of 910 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,080 Speaker 1: my mother in law's eye, so she would side with her. 911 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,080 Speaker 1: There have never been there has never been a need 912 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,200 Speaker 1: for my mother in law to pick sides, but if 913 00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:24,040 Speaker 1: there ever was, we all know who she'd choose. I 914 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: told him that I would feel more comfortable if he's there, 915 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,480 Speaker 1: but he said, it's a birth thing, so women should 916 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,000 Speaker 1: discuss it. I mentioned in a comment on the original 917 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,000 Speaker 1: post that my husband suggested therapy. He feels like the 918 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,400 Speaker 1: only reason I was offended by sister in law is 919 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 1: because I have not gotten over the fact that I 920 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,759 Speaker 1: had an emergency sea section. The reason that she was 921 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,759 Speaker 1: offended by your sister is because your sister was. 922 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,400 Speaker 3: Rude, and why does he sound mad that she had 923 00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,080 Speaker 3: a sea section? 924 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,799 Speaker 1: Now, I mean he's right, but I just really want 925 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 1: him to talk to his sister. Is that so wrong? 926 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,000 Speaker 1: I want his support and for him to make things 927 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,640 Speaker 1: clear to her. If you're wondering whether I have a 928 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,360 Speaker 1: support system like family, then no I don't. My parents 929 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,160 Speaker 1: are in a different country and I live in my 930 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,239 Speaker 1: husband's home country. I do have a few friends. That 931 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,680 Speaker 1: is why I would appreciate all of your comments. And 932 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,040 Speaker 1: there is a second update. But what should ope you do? 933 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,640 Speaker 6: I'm like kind of torn because it sounds like you 934 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,000 Speaker 6: need your husband to go to talk to the mother 935 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,240 Speaker 6: in law, but he's not gonna. 936 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: He sounds scared of his own mother. I do need 937 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,279 Speaker 1: to sit him down and say, hey, pregnancy is not 938 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,360 Speaker 1: just a woman issue. This is we had a son together. 939 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,720 Speaker 1: You were involved in this. Yeah it was my body. 940 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,400 Speaker 1: But I need you to like, your sister is being 941 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,160 Speaker 1: rude to me, and I would like you to tell 942 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: them not to be rude to me. 943 00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:53,120 Speaker 3: And yeah, and you're my husband, husband, I need I. 944 00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,919 Speaker 1: Need your partnership because right now I feel very unsupported. Yeah, 945 00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,920 Speaker 1: it's not it's not I'm not trying to. You know, 946 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,440 Speaker 1: we're not being catty. It's not just this like silly, 947 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,839 Speaker 1: immature thing that we're having a fight over. Your sister 948 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,160 Speaker 1: made a rude comment and I would like to address it. 949 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,319 Speaker 1: And if he doesn't like that answer, then you say, hey, 950 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 1: we might need marriage counseling because you're not hearing me 951 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,319 Speaker 1: update too. Hey everyone, First off, I would like to 952 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,399 Speaker 1: thank you all for the support I got. I saw 953 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 1: some comments saying I named my son tragedyay with an eigh. 954 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:26,239 Speaker 1: My husband and I agreed that I would pick the 955 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,279 Speaker 1: first name and he would pick the middle name, so 956 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,799 Speaker 1: we both get to name him. If you don't like 957 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,440 Speaker 1: the name, then I don't know how to help you 958 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,160 Speaker 1: with that. Besides, I did not want his first name 959 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,400 Speaker 1: on the post, so I used his other name, Kaison. 960 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,759 Speaker 1: I now realized that I could have just choose a 961 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,640 Speaker 1: fake name. Today a lot happened. I talked to my 962 00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,080 Speaker 1: sister in law and mother in law, and I also 963 00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:49,560 Speaker 1: talked to my husband. It went terribly Actually, that is 964 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,919 Speaker 1: an understatement to what happened today. My talk with sister 965 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,840 Speaker 1: in law and mother in law took place at my 966 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,799 Speaker 1: mother in law's house at around ten am. I got 967 00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,880 Speaker 1: there and they were already there. Expected my hobby to 968 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,000 Speaker 1: have gone with me, but he didn't. My sister in 969 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 1: law got to the point and asked me why I 970 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,520 Speaker 1: was that sat with her. I reminded her all that 971 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,879 Speaker 1: she said to me, and she said, what's I wrong? Though? 972 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,000 Speaker 1: You're just offended that I spoke the truth. I remembered 973 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,680 Speaker 1: all the advice I got from your comments, and I 974 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,160 Speaker 1: told her what I had learned about placenta previa and 975 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 1: her misinformation. I also told her about the difference between 976 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:27,200 Speaker 1: round ligament pain and placenta previa and what I went through. 977 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,839 Speaker 1: She rolled her eyes and said, that's what doctors want 978 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,360 Speaker 1: to do, so they make money off of c sections. 979 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,560 Speaker 1: Do you know anything about anything? I think your regular 980 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,880 Speaker 1: birth would have still been very expensive. Girl, You don't. 981 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,279 Speaker 1: It feels like you're just pulling things out of thin air. 982 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,160 Speaker 1: My mother in law the whole time sat there defending 983 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,879 Speaker 1: her and saying I shouldn't take it to heart. Well, 984 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,840 Speaker 1: sister in law still stood on all she said. She 985 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:56,800 Speaker 1: called me incompetent and sensitive. So I said some colorful 986 00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,240 Speaker 1: words and walked out. By the way I was baby wearing, 987 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,759 Speaker 1: she grabbed my arm and pulled me, telling me she 988 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,960 Speaker 1: isn't done talking and that I am walking away with 989 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 1: her nephew. I told her to let me go or 990 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,240 Speaker 1: I'll get her arrested for handling me in that manner, 991 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,480 Speaker 1: so she let go. I told them, when they are 992 00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:17,320 Speaker 1: ready to behave like adults, then they will see kaisu. 993 00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,360 Speaker 1: I was so scared of standing out for myself, but 994 00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,799 Speaker 1: I did it. My hands were shaking hellel. I got 995 00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,239 Speaker 1: home and Hubby wasn't there, so I got Kai to 996 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,640 Speaker 1: take a nap and called my dad. I spilled everything 997 00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:32,279 Speaker 1: to him and he was furious. He told me to 998 00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,160 Speaker 1: either move out or fly back home. I told him 999 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:36,960 Speaker 1: I have to talk to Hobby first and I will 1000 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,080 Speaker 1: tell them how things go. When Hobby got home later 1001 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,040 Speaker 1: in the afternoon, I was breastfeeding. He came into the 1002 00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,479 Speaker 1: living room and asked how the meeting went. I could 1003 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 1: tell he had a sour mood. I told him it 1004 00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,600 Speaker 1: went bad, and he told me, oh. 1005 00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:51,040 Speaker 3: I know. 1006 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,319 Speaker 1: He told me that his mother is so hurt by 1007 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,319 Speaker 1: my disrespect. I told him how they behaved and he 1008 00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 1: told me that I'm trying to say his mother is 1009 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,200 Speaker 1: a liar. So basically, his mom called and told him 1010 00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,160 Speaker 1: I was screaming and shouting at them. She told him 1011 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,239 Speaker 1: I was hysterical and even rattled Kai up. Sister in 1012 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,400 Speaker 1: law backed brother in law up, so it was like 1013 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,759 Speaker 1: a tag team. I explained what actually happened, and he 1014 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,160 Speaker 1: said all this drama wouldn't be happening if I didn't 1015 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,560 Speaker 1: overreact to a few comments made at the party. 1016 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:19,640 Speaker 3: I was shocked. 1017 00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,200 Speaker 1: I told him I thought he was supposed to defend me, 1018 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,680 Speaker 1: and he said he can't ruin the relationship with his 1019 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,160 Speaker 1: family because of my insecurities. I told him that I 1020 00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,279 Speaker 1: will leave with my son and go to people who 1021 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,239 Speaker 1: actually care about me, and that my dad will book 1022 00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,280 Speaker 1: my fight. I walked away with Kaisen, and he grabbed 1023 00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,080 Speaker 1: my arm and said, his son goes nowhere. He told 1024 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:42,080 Speaker 1: me he was tired of my continuous complaints about his family. 1025 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 1: He said if I was still hurt by those comments, 1026 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,239 Speaker 1: then maybe I'm the problem and need to look into 1027 00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,959 Speaker 1: fixing it. He brought up a few memories I don't 1028 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,080 Speaker 1: want to mention, but just past experiences with his family. 1029 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,680 Speaker 1: At this point, it was getting loud and Kai was crying, 1030 00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,520 Speaker 1: so I told how he to relax. He didn't. Let's 1031 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,240 Speaker 1: just say the living room wall. Understood, he was angry, 1032 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 1: so I told him I want to go somewhere I 1033 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,600 Speaker 1: feel safe. I left with Kai and we are currently 1034 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,920 Speaker 1: in a hotel. I want to move to another city 1035 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,840 Speaker 1: and start life fresh there. I can request for a transfer. 1036 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,440 Speaker 1: My husband expresses himself audibly when angry, So what happened 1037 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,799 Speaker 1: after that was so unusual and a shock. He has 1038 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,920 Speaker 1: called me asking me to come home and that he 1039 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,680 Speaker 1: was just frustrated. No, does not. No one punch his 1040 00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,719 Speaker 1: walls when they're You don't need to do that when 1041 00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:31,080 Speaker 1: you're frustrated, And. 1042 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,640 Speaker 3: If he already did it to a wall, it will 1043 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:33,960 Speaker 3: get worse. Yes, Nope. 1044 00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, he knows this account, and he knows about the posts. 1045 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,399 Speaker 1: So he saw the comments that I got. He sent 1046 00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,120 Speaker 1: a message about how I let strangers on the internet 1047 00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,280 Speaker 1: get into my head and convince me against my family. 1048 00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,759 Speaker 1: He said he felt torn between supporting his sister and 1049 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,640 Speaker 1: supporting me, and I can't blame him for not knowing 1050 00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:52,680 Speaker 1: which side to take. 1051 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:53,600 Speaker 3: I can. 1052 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,040 Speaker 6: That also means that he read all these comments fully 1053 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:58,200 Speaker 6: siding with her and. 1054 00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,320 Speaker 1: Was like, how dare you They just I don't know 1055 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,640 Speaker 1: the full story. There is a little bit left to 1056 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:03,200 Speaker 1: this story. 1057 00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:06,440 Speaker 6: But do you have any final thoughts, nothing beyond I 1058 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,319 Speaker 6: think you did what was good and you took your kid. 1059 00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,600 Speaker 6: You got out at the first sign of anything bad. 1060 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,120 Speaker 6: I mean, maybe not the first sign, but the first 1061 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,560 Speaker 6: sign of really bad. And uh, do not go back. 1062 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,440 Speaker 1: Do not go back. Yeah, this is totally inappropriate behavior. 1063 00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,480 Speaker 1: Should not have your child around that. Go to your 1064 00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:28,000 Speaker 1: support system, go see your family. Yeah, this is not okay. 1065 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,480 Speaker 1: But there is a little bit left to this story. 1066 00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:32,520 Speaker 1: I told him I don't want Kay to grow up 1067 00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:36,000 Speaker 1: in such an environment and stopped replying. I don't know 1068 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,080 Speaker 1: if I was dramatic or did too much. I still 1069 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,799 Speaker 1: don't understand why he got so angry and why he 1070 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:44,400 Speaker 1: reacted that way. I also want to know why his 1071 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:45,960 Speaker 1: mom and sister lied to him. 1072 00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:46,799 Speaker 3: I don't know. 1073 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,400 Speaker 1: There's a lot of uncertainty right now, but Kai and 1074 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,600 Speaker 1: I are safe. I will talk to a lawyer about 1075 00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,239 Speaker 1: the next steps to take. I feel at peace. I 1076 00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,719 Speaker 1: have gone through so much in my five years of marriage. 1077 00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,760 Speaker 1: I now want to raise my son in a healthy environment. 1078 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,840 Speaker 1: Thank you for the support. Really, and folks, that is 1079 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:06,759 Speaker 1: the end of that story. But uh, yeah, get get 1080 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,399 Speaker 1: your support, Get what you need. Yeah, take your dad 1081 00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:10,279 Speaker 1: up on the flight home. 1082 00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:10,760 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1083 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,440 Speaker 1: Absolutely,