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Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Lettington,

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Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Well, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It Crew, and welcome to.

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Speaker 3: Another episode of Call It What It Is.

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Speaker 1: The Social Media Edition.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we've talked about this a little or a lot

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Speaker 2: in terms of youth right and its effect on youth

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Speaker 2: and then and then we had some conversations this week,

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Speaker 2: and then we thought we'd deep dive into like the

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Speaker 2: adultness of it all and adulting in the world with

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Speaker 2: social media. But I'm gonna lie, we use it how

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Speaker 2: it affects us it totally.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So, well, this particular subject came from personal

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Speaker 1: experience this week. Great, So I had a moment where

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Speaker 1: you know, when you're when you're launching a show, you're

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Speaker 1: I mean I personally, just to set up how I

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Speaker 1: use my social media, I'm I pretty much mostly use Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I also use TikTok or I'll sometimes you know, share

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Speaker 1: the same reel or TikTok.

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Speaker 3: You know on both you cross promote, I cross.

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Speaker 1: Promote, I cross pollinate. And you actually were the one

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Speaker 1: that brought me into making it fun and and having

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to put together reels that actually were a

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Speaker 1: little bit like it's me, but it's not me, Like

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Speaker 1: it's me playing a version of me, and then kind

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Speaker 1: of coming up with these situations where you're either you know,

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Speaker 1: picking up on a trend that is, you know, fun

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Speaker 1: and interesting and kind of like you can step into

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Speaker 1: another persona right, whether it's using another audio or whether

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Speaker 1: it's another person's idea that you're sort of dovetailing on.

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Speaker 1: And that part for me was really great because it

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Speaker 1: let me step out of myself because I found that

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Speaker 1: if I was only posting for me as Jessica Capshaw,

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Speaker 1: I felt a little self conscious. I felt a little vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: I felt a little bit like what who cares like?

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Speaker 1: Or what what am I posting a picture of my food? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my interests, my kids, my work. Like it was like

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Speaker 1: there's just too much. So you actually were the person

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Speaker 1: that pulled in and pulled me into it and made

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Speaker 1: it fun. When I came back to Grays and we

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Speaker 1: did the Barbie video, that was like the first one

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Speaker 1: that I was this is fun and I really if

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Speaker 1: you my memory was I just did whatever you told

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Speaker 1: me to do.

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Speaker 3: You did you did?

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Speaker 2: I see it as I mean, I can appreciate the people,

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Speaker 2: and I think it's really vulnerable for the people that

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Speaker 2: are out there really truly like blogging their lives right,

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Speaker 2: and they are putting them they're.

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Speaker 3: Full authentic selves on social media.

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Speaker 2: I think of my social media as an extension of

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Speaker 2: like another way of performing in a way, and it's

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Speaker 2: just fun and you get to promote and show different

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Speaker 2: sides of yourself. And you know, we both work on

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Speaker 2: you know, dramatic shows, and I wanted to be like, well,

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Speaker 2: and here's here's the comedy.

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Speaker 3: That I like to play with too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that the podcast ends up being Camilla

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Speaker 2: showing up. But the social media, to me, is an

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Speaker 2: extension of performance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Camilla as an actress who plays different parts. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but you're still You're still you, right because you Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're in charge. And that's what I think is really

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Speaker 1: important about social media is that you are in charge.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how how you decide to curate your feed,

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Speaker 1: whether it's your static feed or your stories is it's

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Speaker 1: your choice. I mean, no one's You're doing it for yourself.

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Speaker 2: But you're not going to know how I'm feeling that

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Speaker 2: week off of my reels. No, if you listen to

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Speaker 2: call at what it is. You're going to have an

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Speaker 2: idea of how I'm feeling that week. But if you're

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Speaker 2: looking at my reels, it's it's a whole different.

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Speaker 3: Medium for me, right, Yes, And when.

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Speaker 1: I look at yours, they're without artifice. I don't see

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Speaker 1: you putting anything on. I see you just having fun

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Speaker 1: and telling a story. Yes, No, so it's not I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's inauthentic. I don't think it's you know, no,

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Speaker 1: not you. I just think it's like this, this performance.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, I have been engaging in all of that,

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Speaker 1: just a little bit more and leaning into it. And

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Speaker 1: full disclosure, my kids don't have it. My daughters don't

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Speaker 1: have it, And and by the way, they still figure

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Speaker 1: out how, how and what is happening on there?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, because their friends probably have it and

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Speaker 3: there they work around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, yeah, do they want it? Wait, I'm

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Speaker 2: interested they what do they want?

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Speaker 3: They want? Instagram? What the what is it that they

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Speaker 3: would want?

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Speaker 1: The threshold line right now is being held at Snapchat.

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Speaker 1: So because that's how they that's how they communicate.

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Speaker 3: I learned this, by the way, when I was with

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Speaker 3: your children.

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Speaker 2: I was like, so deeply confused, and they had to

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Speaker 2: tell me over and over again what was happening.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I don't get it.

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Speaker 1: Still, yes, and that's just Luke and Eve because it

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Speaker 1: feels age appropriate for them, right, but it's not the youngers.

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Speaker 1: And we are again full disclosure or like there's a

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Speaker 1: real plan and there's a real, carefully considered amount of

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Speaker 1: screen time and exposure. I do think that there's some

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Speaker 1: aspects of it that are just you know, really need

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Speaker 1: to be examined by parents. And it's your choice, and

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Speaker 1: you know, you go get the information and you do

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Speaker 1: with it what you will. Anyways, so this week, yes,

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Speaker 1: you would love Instagram. Instagram. Okay, I would argue that

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Speaker 1: Instagram is probably exactly what she does not need.

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Speaker 3: It, But truth is, we don't need any of it.

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Speaker 3: But what was it?

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Speaker 2: What is interesting is we have we've covered this, we've

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Speaker 2: covered the teen element, and we've we've talked about like

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Speaker 2: the I have like I've pledged the oath like no, no,

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Speaker 2: and you haven't done that because yes, and you were

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Speaker 2: explaining your reasons why you didn't do that, and I

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Speaker 2: was explaining the reasons for it was pretty close by

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Speaker 2: the way, Yeah, yeah, The adulting of it, though, is

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Speaker 2: what we're really deep diving into. Do you want to

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Speaker 2: say sort of more on what happened this week?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So Eve finds this trend which is throwing a fit,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, I think that this is the one.

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Speaker 1: So you know, we're playing around and we're at work

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Speaker 1: and we're doing a bunch of stuff, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I pulled Chris into it, and I pulled Chris Odon

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Speaker 1: into it, and he's like, totally game to do this

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Speaker 1: this piece of it, and then we did it all

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Speaker 1: together and then I see the final product, and for

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Speaker 1: whatever reason, I have a completely unreasonable what would we

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Speaker 1: call it? Because I called you did it? What did

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Speaker 1: it sound like to you?

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Speaker 2: I mean it's you were over analyzing, overthinking like it

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Speaker 2: like it's like inside out like anxiety and inside out too.

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Speaker 2: It just reminded me of anxiety and inside out too.

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Speaker 2: You're like, what do you think about this? But what

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Speaker 2: about this part of it? What is part of it?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: And it's like as an outsider, you're like, it's cute,

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Speaker 2: it's funny, it's fine, it's just posted like there's nothing.

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Speaker 3: It's all cute, you know, and.

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Speaker 2: It's like you start to I will say, in our defense,

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Speaker 2: you are posting to a lot of people you're not

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Speaker 2: posting to.

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Speaker 3: Like Aunt Bev. And then it's you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: like and that's all that's gonna see it. I do

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Speaker 3: you think there are elements?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I post this is from the show and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, what's in the background.

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Speaker 3: Is there a spoiler? Like I'm thinking in terms of that, yes,

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Speaker 3: that adds.

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Speaker 1: To it, for sure.

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Speaker 2: It was a side of you that I rarely see.

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Speaker 2: And You're like, I have true anxiety right now in

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Speaker 2: my world, and I was like, welcome to the dark side.

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Speaker 3: I was like, listen, you've got anxiety.

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Speaker 2: I know what that is, because when we were starting

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Speaker 2: out this podcast, by the way, you would say, I'm

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Speaker 2: not someone that has a lot of anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, well, And then I got very curious. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've gotten very curious about anxiety because I have so

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Speaker 1: many people who I love that are negotiating it, and

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Speaker 1: I want to be there for them in the best

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Speaker 1: way that I can, because evidently it's not to tell

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Speaker 1: the person who's worried to stop worrying. Yeah, that's evidently

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Speaker 1: not the right answer or to even tell them it's

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Speaker 1: all going to be okay. That's also not a you know,

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Speaker 1: great answer for someone who's genuinely worrying. But something rang

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Speaker 1: really true for me, which was that in that moment,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't having a worry. I wasn't having a singular worry.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like, I'm worried about this, and that's my

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Speaker 1: body and brains natural process of letting me know that

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Speaker 1: there's a disturbance in the force and I need to

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Speaker 1: pay attention to it. I was worrying. I was I

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Speaker 1: was having more than one worry. And the worries were

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Speaker 1: all in the future. They were how was going to

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Speaker 1: play out, not what it was. It wasn't about the

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Speaker 1: present tense and the intent of this cute little reel

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Speaker 1: or how it came together or what it looked like

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Speaker 1: it was like, but what will And evidently, by the way,

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Speaker 1: this worrying and the perseverance of the worry, all those,

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Speaker 1: all those the way you don't want to go is

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Speaker 1: all the what ifs. Like as soon as you start

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Speaker 1: saying what if this and what if that, you're definitely

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Speaker 1: going down the road of just letting that worry get

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Speaker 1: bigger and bigger and bigger. So I found myself worrying

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Speaker 1: and in unfamiliar territory because I didn't know how to

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Speaker 1: stop the worry. And so I called you because you

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Speaker 1: also are a social media expert. And I said, as

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Speaker 1: my social media expert and my bestie, what can you

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Speaker 1: help me with this? Yeah? And what did you say?

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Speaker 2: Well, first off, I saw the reel because I thought

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Speaker 2: it was super cute before you posted it.

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Speaker 3: And I think we should acknowledge that.

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Speaker 2: These are these, these will this is what's in I

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Speaker 2: was thinking about anxiety.

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Speaker 3: These are not.

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Speaker 2: World like crazy houses on fire problems, right, Oh, but

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Speaker 2: your body feels like it is. This is what I

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Speaker 2: deal with anxiety. A very tiny thing could really step

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Speaker 2: me off, where it's like this is the end.

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Speaker 3: Of the world, right, and it's not, and it's tiny

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Speaker 3: and really not and.

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Speaker 2: It's and in this case, it was a social media

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Speaker 2: post and you had started to like overanalyze, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And so I said to you, I know that it

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Speaker 2: doesn't help anybody to see like it's great, it's fine,

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Speaker 2: just post it, right, because you're futurizing.

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Speaker 3: You told me that you were futurizing.

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Speaker 2: I was, and without even telling me what exactly those

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Speaker 2: futurizing things were I said to you, which we've talked

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Speaker 2: about on the pod before, ask yourself what else is true?

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Speaker 2: Because it sort of grounds you back, like okay, what

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Speaker 2: if you know, like what if the social media post

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Speaker 2: go you know, like leads to.

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Speaker 3: Blah blah blah blah, Well, what's true?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: And so I I literally wrote out for you in

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Speaker 2: a text what I thought was all true about it,

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Speaker 2: Like why it's it's true, this is a cute post.

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Speaker 3: What else is true? You have to promote your show?

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Speaker 3: What else is true?

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Speaker 2: You look great, Chris looks great, Like it's fun, it's light,

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Speaker 2: there's nothing.

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Speaker 3: And so we broke it down. And then I think

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Speaker 3: that it helped.

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Speaker 1: It absolutely helped because it brought me back to the

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Speaker 1: present tense, and it brought me back to I was

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Speaker 1: going into I'm wrong or I could be wrong or

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Speaker 1: I or you know, I mean to put a finer

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Speaker 1: point on it, you know, I think it was like,

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Speaker 1: do I look like a big old ing dong? Do

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Speaker 1: I look like I'm taking myself seriously? Do I look

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Speaker 1: like that was like a big one for me? Do

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Speaker 1: I look like I'm taking myself seriously? And I think

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Speaker 1: I'm all that I've been a bag of shifts, you know,

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Speaker 1: walking down and also by the way, throwing a little

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Speaker 1: let them. You can't control it, right, once you put

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Speaker 1: stuff on social media, you can't control what the comments are.

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Speaker 1: You can't control how someone sees it, and it's not

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Speaker 1: yours to to do that, right.

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Speaker 2: I also do think I want to give you some

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Speaker 2: credit for this, for feeling this way, because I also

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Speaker 2: do think that when you're like twenty two, strut in

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Speaker 2: your stuff and like a black it's like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's young, she's feeling herself, and there is and we've

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Speaker 2: talked about this, there is and I hope hopefully it's

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Speaker 2: not it's it's we're all steering away from this. But

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Speaker 2: I do think there's a party of where it's like

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Speaker 2: I'm getting older, like I'm in my forties, like, and

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling myself, Like can I feel myself?

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Speaker 3: Does it look lame that I'm feeling myself?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: But I but I feel like there is this element

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Speaker 2: of that in it too. It's like a layer right

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Speaker 2: right as a female, which I really don't like. I

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Speaker 2: hope we're strutting like that in a short dress at eighty.

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Speaker 3: Just yes, and.

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Speaker 1: We will be. We will be arms linked wherever we are,

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Speaker 1: whatever fabulous place we've gone to. I mean that's what

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Speaker 1: I want for us.

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Speaker 2: I think does it manifest for you physically, because we

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Speaker 2: haven't talked about you having an idea.

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Speaker 3: I feel like this.

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Speaker 1: I like my somatic response is instance, sweaty armpits. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's real sexy, it's instant sweaty armpits. And then I

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Speaker 1: think I feel it in my stomach and my chest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and it's weirdly linked to it always goes

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Speaker 1: back to the same thing, which is like have I

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Speaker 1: done something wrong?

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Speaker 3: And it's like, yes, what what?

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Speaker 1: Why? What? Why am I bringing that in? So it's

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Speaker 1: interesting because we started with saying social media can be

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Speaker 1: this incredible expression, and for us it can be these

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Speaker 1: moments where we can not just perform at work, or

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Speaker 1: we can be in charge of a performance, or we

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Speaker 1: can curate and find funny, cute little ideas that we

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Speaker 1: then take on and make our own. And that is

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Speaker 1: really fun. And as someone who enjoys, you know, going

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Speaker 1: on for a scroll, I really love finding the humor

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. I mean, I think there are some incredible

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Speaker 1: mediums out there that think of things and do things

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Speaker 1: in way.

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Speaker 2: I think that like humanity is hysteric. That's what I've

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Speaker 2: learned from That's my favorite thing I've gotten from social media.

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Speaker 3: Humanity is looking funny.

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Speaker 1: Oh and you don't have to be you know, there

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Speaker 1: isn't Well doesn't feel like to me and the things

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Speaker 1: I'm watching, it's not the funny parts. For me, it

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Speaker 1: has nothing to do with status. They have nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with who you are. It's how you're doing it right.

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Speaker 1: You're either making someone laugh or you're not. It's not

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Speaker 1: about you know who you were when you did it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's really just and then and then

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Speaker 1: of course there's the animal content and also that little

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Speaker 1: tiny chef. He's so funny.

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Speaker 3: You love it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But I think that that's the thing that I

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Speaker 1: just love, love love.

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Speaker 2: I think what was so interesting about the conversation we

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Speaker 2: had after you were feeling this way because we had

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Speaker 2: a different episode kind of we're thinking, different episode being

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Speaker 2: planned today, is that we it suddenly occurred to me like, wait,

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Speaker 2: I never hear about the social media anxiety for adults, right,

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Speaker 2: And I was like, let's deep dive into that because

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Speaker 2: we hear about it. We've talked I'm repeating myself, we've

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Speaker 2: talked about it for the kids, but like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: it's it's giving adults anxiety too, and what does that

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Speaker 2: look like? So we did some deep diving for this episode,

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Speaker 2: and what would you guess without looking just how what

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Speaker 2: a percentage of adults in the US use social media?

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Speaker 3: Do you know this already?

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Speaker 1: I read it once, but I well, I did read

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Speaker 1: it once and I remember it being around sixty five percent.

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Speaker 3: Sixty nine yeah, yeah, yeah, yea yeah. So that's a

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Speaker 3: lot of people.

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Speaker 2: And social media has been linked to obviously poor sleep,

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Speaker 2: memory issues, and academic or work struggles. What I found

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Speaker 2: the most interesting is this article from May first, twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty five the Northeastern Global News, and it talked about

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Speaker 2: a study in which thirty five thousand participants were randomly

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Speaker 2: assigned to deactivate Facebook or Instagram for six weeks versus

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Speaker 2: a control group, and they showed very clear, significant improvements

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Speaker 2: in their happiness, depression, anxiety, and deactivation was about fifteen

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Speaker 2: percent of Facebook and twenty two for Instagram.

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Speaker 3: And it was as effective. This blew my mind.

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Speaker 2: It was as effective as average psychological interventions like CBT

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Speaker 2: or mindfulness, just deleting, just deleting it. And here's what's crazy,

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Speaker 2: because we're talking about adults on social media having anxiety.

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Speaker 2: The benefits from deactivation were more pronounced in users over

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Speaker 2: thirty five.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know why that is.

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Speaker 1: I want thinking.

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Speaker 2: I so it's not woven into our DNA in the

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Speaker 2: same way that like the youth, yeah is experiencing right now.

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Speaker 1: But we didn't grow up with the tiny screens that

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Speaker 1: had We.

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Speaker 2: Didn't grow up with the tiny screens, We didn't grow

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Speaker 2: up with the tiktoks of the instagrams. So I think

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Speaker 2: that maybe it's that maybe it frees us back to

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Speaker 2: like feeling a little more old school. What's your because

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Speaker 2: that was so fascinating to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I mean I do

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Speaker 1: as a mainstay in my whole life, no matter what

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Speaker 1: department you're talking about, I do always find myself attracted

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Speaker 1: to the middle like reduction not abstinence in pretty much anything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and again I would I would say, or I would

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Speaker 1: report that when I use social media mindfully, and that

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Speaker 1: means to me, you know, I don't know, cumulatively twenty

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Speaker 1: to thirty minutes a day, like not more than that

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Speaker 1: a day. I'm I'm good to go, but I mean

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Speaker 1: that requires discipline, that requires me putting on a timer,

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Speaker 1: because it can go like that. And I've done the

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Speaker 1: other where I just you know, I mean, here I

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Speaker 1: am on, you know, working again, and you do have

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Speaker 1: downtime and if it's your lunch hour and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, you know, but and it completely has been

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Speaker 1: the thing that is the you know, it's rerouted where

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Speaker 1: I go for the filling in of space. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I love reading, and now I just carry books around

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Speaker 1: because once you pick up your phone, if you start

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Speaker 1: on one of them, it just ends up being the thing.

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Speaker 1: Also because you know all the things that they say

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Speaker 1: your phone learns you, and once it knows you, it

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Speaker 1: does actually give you things that are nutritive for you.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I follow who I follow and and

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Speaker 1: and they really I must confuse the system because it

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Speaker 1: is everything from you know, the claimation tiny chef to

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Speaker 1: you know, animal animal follies and then like you know,

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Speaker 1: you know, doctor Peter Tilla, and then it's Brene Brown

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Speaker 1: and then it's you know, it's I'm so all over

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Speaker 1: the place that it gives me at my news outlets,

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Speaker 1: like it gives me all the things, and it gives

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Speaker 1: me in the bite sized morsels that we're all use,

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Speaker 1: we've all grown accustomed to taking them in as so

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Speaker 1: it's hard. So I would say, in a perfect world

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Speaker 1: for me, it's moderation, not abstinence, and so I and

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Speaker 1: that just has to be really looked after for me,

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Speaker 1: like I have to. I have to say this is

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Speaker 1: how it's going today, and this is how it's going

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Speaker 1: tomorrow or whatever it is, because I do know, and

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Speaker 1: I've already told this story a million times, but I can,

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Speaker 1: if left with no restriction, and you know, absolutely convince

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Speaker 1: myself after an hour of being on Instagram that everyone's

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Speaker 1: life is better for doing things that are way more fun.

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Speaker 1: That there are parties that I wasn't invited to, That

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Speaker 1: there are friendships that mean so much more than the

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Speaker 1: ones I have, That.

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Speaker 3: That we should be on a yacht, a yachting.

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Speaker 1: We should be yachting.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why I'm doing the school run.

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Speaker 1: Yes, how did you end up there?

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Speaker 3: What is that like?

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Speaker 1: But I mean even even just the like, I remember

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Speaker 1: when it first started feeling like you know this this

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Speaker 1: this content is you know, content rains, and so you're

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Speaker 1: supposed to at every part of your life be getting

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Speaker 1: the content, which completely takes me out of being present

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Speaker 1: in any moment. Right the minute that you're filming the thing,

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Speaker 1: you're not in the thing. So that's why I do

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Speaker 1: it works for me to have the moderation and then

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Speaker 1: uh sort of like designated chunks where I'm like, this

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Speaker 1: is when we're going to grab a bunch of stuff,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have a little fun, we're going to film

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Speaker 1: it all and it's going to be in this you know,

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Speaker 1: a little this period of time, and then we're going

404
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 1: to take all of it and we're going to figure

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Speaker 1: out what to do with it and which you know,

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Speaker 1: which which trends worked, which audio worked, what makes sense,

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Speaker 1: and you know, sometimes you do end up using it,

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Speaker 1: sometimes you don't. And then I think that I consider it.

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Speaker 1: That being said, that's that's just my process. So I'm

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Speaker 1: actually interested from our listeners because I think that this

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Speaker 1: actually should be in we haven't had we haven't done

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Speaker 1: this in a while. But I actually think this is

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Speaker 1: a conversation and I think that people I know that

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Speaker 1: people are really asking themselves questions and or struggling and

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Speaker 1: maybe getting to social media being part of the struggle.

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Speaker 1: And I would love to hear from people what they

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Speaker 1: how they do it and what what works for them.

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Speaker 3: Do you think I'm curious. I have a couple of

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Speaker 3: questions for you.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that there is as much pressure sure

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Speaker 2: on women anybody. Our age to post the life is

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Speaker 2: perfect in comparison to like the younger generations, because as

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Speaker 2: a part of me, that almost feels like there's more

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Speaker 2: in a weird way.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think that's also a generational difference. I think

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Speaker 1: that we were sort of grown in the era of presentation.

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Speaker 1: You know, presentation dictated whether you got the job, It

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Speaker 1: dictated whether you you know, how people saw you, I mean,

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Speaker 1: what you're what your image was. And now I think

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Speaker 1: it's that that images can be so different and there's

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Speaker 1: actually there's actually value in it. But that was going

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Speaker 1: to go back to this, which is that I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like everything has to be perfect that

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Speaker 1: we put out or that I put out. And yet

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Speaker 1: when we're shooting something and I've already been through like

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Speaker 1: hair and makeup, and of course I'm in this altered reality.

437
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: Then that's when I at least want to make it funny,

438
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: you know, like I just don't. Maybe that was my

439
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: even my push pull with that particular video, like I

440
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to think that. I thought, like, Okay,

441
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 1: I am at work. I've already worked this morning, and

442
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 1: I'm already in hair and makeup, and now it's like

443
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: and now we're going we're streatting our stuff.

444
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 2: But I think that that's I think that's where you.

445
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: And I lean into.

446
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: We always lean into the comedy of it because it's

447
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: the exact opposite, like we know that we're in full

448
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 2: comb yeah, and like it's like we have to sort

449
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 2: of make fun of it a little bit, right, Yes,

450
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 2: I do think. I do think what's happening on social

451
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,239
Speaker 2: media for our generation, and I think I don't know

452
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 2: where it started. Maybe it started with like the Kardashian

453
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 2: I don't know where it started. But the decorating, right

454
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: I listen, I'm ready for Halloween right now.

455
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 3: I do love it.

456
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 2: But then for me, it's not really like the yacht

457
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: Vacasians or the diamonds that I'm like to us over.

458
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 2: I'm like, what do they do to their house? How

459
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: do they get that how they get that spider out there.

460
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 2: Everything can just can just be more elevated. Always, whatever

461
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 2: you're doing, there's a more elevated version that you're going

462
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 2: to scroll through and you're gonna want to do that, right.

463
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, the dances, Oh my gosh, I can't the dances.

464
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 3: All of it?

465
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, pressed send on your post. Yeah, and again

466
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 2: it's just a social media post. But this is why

467
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 2: anxiety is so interesting. Yeah, did your anxiety lift? Were

468
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,679
Speaker 2: you able to let it go? Or did you need

469
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 2: to like see the comments to like see if you

470
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 2: felt okay about it.

471
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: That's been the interesting thing about what I've been experiencing

472
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: lately is that and I'm gonna grow. I'm going to

473
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 1: learn I have faith in myself and I'm bet on

474
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: myself here. That's where the anxiety is getting me. I'm

475
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: because it's also it's it's not it's not just happening

476
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: to me, it's reported from all over from the front lines.

477
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: It's that there's a component of avoidance. So when you

478
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: part of the perseveration, part of the asking yourself the

479
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 1: what if, what if? What if? What if? Is actually

480
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: avoiding making a decision. And once you what I'm finding

481
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 1: is once I do make the decision and I press send,

482
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 1: and I've really considered it clearly because I've just almost

483
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: had it. Yeah, I've almost taken myself down in the process,

484
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: and I've leaned on and I've gone to I hope

485
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: you know, I think smartly and I and this is

486
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: what I'm really grateful for is the people in my

487
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 1: life and the support systems in my life so that

488
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: I can go to you and know that you're going

489
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: to help me. And that's the relationship piece.

490
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 2: I also give you a very real answer. There was

491
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 2: anything about any video I'd like cut.

492
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 3: That, dude?

493
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: Yes, Well that's also the that's that's the trust, right,

494
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: But the trust is in the relationship. And so once

495
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: I had avoided making the decision and perseverated and worried,

496
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 1: and then you had introduced this idea that I could

497
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: also instead of thinking what if the worst happens? What

498
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: if I flipped it and said, what if the best happens? Yeah?

499
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: What if this thing is? Also? What if this is true?

500
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: What if this other thing is?

501
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 3: What's real in this moment? Like what are the facts?

502
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's bigger than my worry? Then I was able

503
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: to see it and once I press sent, I actually

504
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: didn't have anxiety. I did not have worry. I stopped

505
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: worrying about it because I made the decision.

506
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 3: So, for you, is your anxiety sitting in the in between.

507
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 1: Yes okay, and the avoidance and the avoidance of doing

508
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 1: the hard thing or doing the thing, sitting in the unknown,

509
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: doing the thing that you're not sure what comes next,

510
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 1: because there could be a bunch of things that come

511
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: next and you're not in control of them. And I

512
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: we all wrestle with control. That's human. I definitely have

513
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: had like waves of wanting or feeling like having more

514
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: control would keep me in more in control. I don't

515
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: think it's been like the top note of my life.

516
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: That's not been my experience of me. That being said,

517
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: I don't know throw in there that we laugh about

518
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: this all the time, like if you open up my refrigerator,

519
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 1: it's I'm a very organized person. Is that control? Is

520
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,479
Speaker 1: it not? I don't know.

521
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is so interesting for me because we talk.

522
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 3: I'm type B. Obviously we all know.

523
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 2: So what does a type A person that likes to

524
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: be in control about a lot of stuff when they

525
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 2: bump up against anxiety.

526
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: It's just interesting hearing that experience.

527
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and add in that your I think that

528
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: that's maybe that that's why I got to the what

529
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: I what I do wrong is that I actually know

530
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: I'm very aware of it not being helpful. I'm very

531
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: aware that this is not good for me. And it's

532
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 1: not often that I will choose to do the thing

533
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: that I know is not good for me, and yet

534
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: in this moment, I can't control it. The thought is coming,

535
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: the worry is coming, and then the worrying is coming.

536
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: Does your anxiety manifest as a separate voice to you,

537
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 2: almost like devil on your shoulder kind of thing, or.

538
00:27:58,359 --> 00:27:59,120
Speaker 3: Does it take over?

539
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 2: Because sometimes I can literally have like I can feel

540
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 2: the pull of like Camilla grounded in the argument with

541
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 2: anxiety almost Yeah.

542
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that I still have an understanding of

543
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: what is not right, but what is what is true?

544
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: You know, going back to your point of bringing yourself

545
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,479
Speaker 1: back to what is true? I think I do. And

546
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: yet the what if, the idea of the future what

547
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: if is so real to me that it's it's it's

548
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: a real match, like it's a real it's a real

549
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: force that's reckoning with what I think is true. So

550
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,959
Speaker 1: I become locked and as it's and sometimes overpowered, and

551
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: it's interesting because it's really unenjoyable.

552
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 4: I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte.

553
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 4: I'm so excited to share that I got to sit

554
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 4: down with incredible Bridget moynihan, who plays Natasha Bigg's wife.

555
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 4: She is telling stories from the very beginning, like why

556
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 4: she almost left the audition.

557
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm calling my agents.

558
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, guys, I have to go to the other one.

559
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 3: And they're like, stay for this, you need to stay

560
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 3: for this. I'm like, well, can't be late for the

561
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 3: next one.

562
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: She shares her thoughts on the big and Carry affair.

563
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: I think I actually said out loud sometimes like no,

564
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: she was having an affair with my husband.

565
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: Let's break this down.

566
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 4: And what it was like coming back to the show

567
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 4: when we did, and just like that.

568
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: I love that it's Natasha who is caring for her.

569
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean there really is that bond between them.

570
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: You can't miss this.

571
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 4: Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,

572
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 4: Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

573
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: Do you think that you have anxiety later in life

574
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: because you know more.

575
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: I also think I probably didn't completely represent like when

576
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: I say, like, I don't think that I walk around

577
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: there aren't a ton of things that worry me or

578
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: make me. But absolutely like when the kids were younger,

579
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: like did I run?

580
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course that's normal. I'm talking about what you're

581
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 2: experiencing now.

582
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, No, I've had it before in my life.

583
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: I've had it before in my life. Yeah, I have,

584
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: I have. I mean I think I just I think

585
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: that I figured out how to write yeah, or it

586
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: was just not as strong. I think that. I think

587
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: it just I think that it goes in ways. I

588
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: think it is your management of it. I think that

589
00:30:54,240 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 1: it's it's it's something that we do have the I

590
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: want to hope that it's it's something that we do

591
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: have the ability to work through.

592
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 2: I wonder if that's also an element of like, you

593
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: are part of a new show that's launching, that's huge,

594
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 2: that's so exciting, and there's an anticipation that comes with

595
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 2: that that's can sometimes manifest as anxiety.

596
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: I think it's just I mean, I think it's that

597
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: whenever you're sitting in expectation.

598
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying.

599
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: And you're I mean, whether you're insert the thing right,

600
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: You're about to get married, you're about to host a

601
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: big party, you're going to have a big presentation. I mean,

602
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: you have this conversation with yourself about your expectation. And

603
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: I guess that's the thing is like there's a reasonable, yes,

604
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: feeling of nervousness when you're about to sure go into

605
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: a scene, like how will I sound? How will this

606
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: play out? Will my scene partner, you know, pick up

607
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: on what I'm picking up? Will they give me something?

608
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:05,239
Speaker 1: Like all the things? And that actually I think is

609
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 1: fuel for perform for doing well wherever you are, if

610
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: you're in if you're a job, a deak job, if

611
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 1: you're in a home job, if you're whatever. But again,

612
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: there's this other thing that happens. And I think that

613
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: recognizing what a reasonable amount of nerves looks like versus

614
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 1: an unreasonable amount of nerves. And what I was experiencing

615
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: when I called you, I actually did know was an

616
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: unreasonable amount of nerves. So I could say to you,

617
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: I'm having this unreasonable experience and I just sort of

618
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: and you gave me exactly what I needed, which is

619
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: what is true? Like what is true, what else is true?

620
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: And also it's you know, it's the whole name entertainment.

621
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: I say it all the time because it really does help, Like,

622
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: don't be afraid to say what it is. Whatever it is, whatever,

623
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: if you think it's ugly, if you think it's dark,

624
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: it's just a word, right, Like I'm mad, I'm jealous,

625
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm that name it and it sort of does lose its.

626
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: Umph, it does, it does. I mean, I definitely do

627
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: that with Matt. I definitely name it well because it's

628
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: there all the time. It's not there all the time.

629
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: It's not there all the time, but it helps me

630
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 2: to say, like, hey, I just need to say.

631
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 3: Right now, this is how I'm feeling.

632
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: It's unreasonable sometimes I'll even I've been doing this about

633
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: health recently. I'm like, I just had a heart flutter,

634
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: So in my head, I think I might be having

635
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 2: a heart attack or an aneurysm, and I know that's crazy,

636
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: and just saying it out loud.

637
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 3: And hearing the crazy helps me.

638
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious because obviously we don't have the same therapist,

639
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 2: and so when you talk to your therapist about anxiety,

640
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: what is something that is it?

641
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 3: She? She she what is something that she tells you.

642
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 2: To do or with some coping macnet like what is

643
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: what are your marching orders for that?

644
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: It's not dissimilar. It's not dissimilar. It's wrapped in a

645
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: different package and it's a little bit more. Uh, it's

646
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 1: very straightforward. It's the it's the futurizing. When I futurize,

647
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: when I go into the what if, when I go

648
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: into the how it's going to roll out, and I

649
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 1: start playing out a future that has not happened yet. Yeah,

650
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: I don't imagine. I can, I can go to a

651
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: place where I don't imagine good results and then I

652
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 1: start to experience them as though they're true. And so

653
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: the advice really is about stopping that.

654
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: So I'm wondering, like what technique she gives you, because

655
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 2: for me, I'm someone that like needs a technique, So

656
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 2: like the what else is truth makes me.

657
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 3: Spit out the facts of the situation.

658
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if there's something because I know that I'm futurizing.

659
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 3: I know that I'm doing it.

660
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, but I need like the interrupter, the like

661
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 5: the technique out of it, the way that the door

662
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 5: on the handle that get me out of here. Yes,

663
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 5: and that really helps me, right because then I'm forced

664
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 5: to the things and I'm wondering if she has.

665
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I I've done if. It's been a bunch

666
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 1: of different things, and I think it's been very much

667
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: like you know, trial by error. And again this is

668
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 1: sort of a new ish moment. So I actually thank

669
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: you for helping me put something on my to do

670
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: list for this week's therapy. But it's, you know, so

671
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 1: far it's been. I guess it's started off as and

672
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 1: now it sits in what do I do when I

673
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: go to the what ifs and go to the future

674
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: and how do I interrupt that cycle? And what is?

675
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: And I think that's it helps to have like a

676
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: little bit of a mantra. I also am very curious.

677
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: I have never felt successful at meditation. Have you ever

678
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: tried it? No? I feel like I feel not good

679
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: at it, and I.

680
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 3: You know what, I can't say that I've tried it.

681
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 2: I can't say that. I really I think I probably

682
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: tried it twice in my life. But like I truly

683
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: don't know how you silence your mind. Yes, that's I

684
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: don't know how happens because I'm thinking of all the things.

685
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 3: Yes, so there's no meditating. I'm just sitting still.

686
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: Well, but I think that's part of it. I was

687
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: asking chat about it last night. Actually tell me, I mean, well,

688
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: I mean you're picking you know, well, you also have

689
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: to pick your which which kind of meditation are you

690
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,399
Speaker 1: going to focus on? And then there are teachers. But yes,

691
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 1: it is the it's your mind gets busy, and there

692
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: are ways of meditating. Thinking about meditating where you you

693
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: acknowledge that. I don't think that anyone who meditates says yes,

694
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 1: and I sit on my pillow and I instantly fall

695
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: into my meditative state. At least that in the beginning

696
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 1: is my understanding. So I think you have to work

697
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 1: on it. And I do think you know, the numbers

698
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: can't be wrong.

699
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 2: I would find it very hard to meditate my way

700
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: out of anxiety.

701
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm I'm telling myself that story too. I'm not sure

702
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 1: how that works. I believe, I believe people when they

703
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: say it does.

704
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 3: I believe it can work.

705
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: I just I'm not sure.

706
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 3: Right. The voice is so loud for me. Yeah, yeah,

707
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 3: the voice is so loud for me.

708
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: Wait. I wanted to not take a U turn, but

709
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: just take a little side rock because I want to

710
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,879
Speaker 1: go back to social for a second. So you so

711
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: Instagram would be kind of where the only one that

712
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 1: I've let into my real like rotation. You love TikTok.

713
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 2: I here's why I like TikTok and and I rarely

714
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: really scroll Instagram. I'm very rarely on Instagram. I love

715
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: posting on there, but it's just TikTok feels like all

716
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: the things that I watch have absolutely nothing to do

717
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 2: with me. They're not remotely in my world. So I

718
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 2: love it well. I love like the ones where it's like, hey,

719
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 2: I'm a mom of five kids, and here's what I'm

720
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: making for dinner real quick, and it's like, you know,

721
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 2: I'm just like so fascinated with like, okay, five ingredients

722
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: she's going to put together this thing because I can't cook,

723
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,959
Speaker 2: So what is that? So I actually love it because

724
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 2: I feel like it's less of a slice of like

725
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 2: Los Angeles or the entertainment industry or our world and

726
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 2: more just maybe people live in their lives and putting

727
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 2: it off. There's something I'm just I don't know what

728
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 2: it is. I can't describe it, but I like it better.

729
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: I'm sure that's what the algorithm feeds me too. Obviously

730
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 2: your experience would be totally different, but I feel like

731
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 2: Instagram feels a little more shiny and curated than TikTok.

732
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, for sure.

733
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 2: I do think it's worse though, because I think I can.

734
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 2: I can spend way more time on TikTok.

735
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: Well that's what they're trying to do, aren't they. I

736
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: don't know who they are, but it's then.

737
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 2: It does not give me anxiety though Instagram. Instagram is

738
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 2: the I've gone on vacation and I'm in Paris, France

739
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: wherever I'm in, can't you know? It's like and then

740
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 2: all the actors and their makeups, and then I'm like, well,

741
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: why is it mine?

742
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 3: And maybe do I need to go blonde? Do I

743
00:38:59,400 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 3: need bang?

744
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, I'm all those I feel like

745
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: there's a more superficial element to it when I'm scrolling

746
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: through that makes me think, like, I don't know it.

747
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 3: Just I prefer the tiktoks.

748
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: All right, Well, this is one where I really do

749
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm committed to it. I want to know

750
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,800
Speaker 1: how social media is living in all of your old lives.

751
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: If you're if you're interested in.

752
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 3: Sharing, Yeah, I would.

753
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: I feel like I want to do a follow up

754
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: episode with everybody because we are always hearing about what

755
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: it does to the youth, but like, what is it

756
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: doing to the moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas

757
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 2: and everybody else? Yes?

758
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: And what are the answers to these questions? What are

759
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: you interested in trying? Are you interested in, you know,

760
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: quitting cold Turkey? And do you wish you didn't have it?

761
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,399
Speaker 1: And do you delete it often? I know people who

762
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: do that all the time, that will delete it for

763
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: a month and then they kind of come back to it.

764
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,919
Speaker 2: I've taken it off my phone. I took X off

765
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 2: my phone and I never put it back on.

766
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I'm not on there. X x X

767
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 3: really gave me a lot of anxiety.

768
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 2: It was way too mostly news outlets. Yeah, it was

769
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 2: just a lot of It was just a lot. I

770
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 2: think I felt like there was a lot of aggression

771
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 2: on there. And I'm sure you can find it on

772
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 2: any app, but it just felt like a lot to me.

773
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: I will say, what's tricky for us a little bit

774
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 2: as people in the entertainment industry is it feels like

775
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 2: you have to be on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

776
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 2: and it's it's really a non negotiable for part of

777
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 2: your job.

778
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: Yes, well, I mean I feel that way about launching

779
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: this show next week nine pm.

780
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you.

781
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: Do in one Nashville. But it feels like, yeah, it

782
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: feels like part of the job.

783
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 2: Of course it's And I think it started off with

784
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 2: ABC TG I T you know, scandal was they were

785
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 2: the ones that really.

786
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: Is Harry Washington.

787
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,240
Speaker 3: She was so great and smart.

788
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: She made it feel joyous. It was smart, it was tight.

789
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 2: It was also a different time than where it didn't

790
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 2: field joyous, And now it feels it's.

791
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: It's I think that that might have been part of

792
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 1: my the my existential crisis.

793
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 3: It was.

794
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: I really actually only want to I can say this

795
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: with total authority. I only want to put things on

796
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: social media that feel like are either or are on

797
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: some level a pathway to joy Like whether you're laughing

798
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 1: at me or yeah, you're laughing with me, I want

799
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: it to be joyous. I want it to be hey,

800
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 1: come look at this other thing. That's that's the only

801
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: way that I see it. So I sort of definitely,

802
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 1: I don't sort of definitely I reject the idea that

803
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: you that one should use social media for aggression or

804
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: any kind of unkindness.

805
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 2: No, but I think back in like the t G

806
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 2: A T time, it was more like, hey, for the

807
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: first time ever, we can not like, you know, get

808
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 2: stopped on the street by fans, like we can just

809
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 2: like we can.

810
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 3: Interact with fans. Is the shows air like? How amazing?

811
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 1: The live tweeting?

812
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, the live tweeting, and then I think all

813
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: the other things have sort of taken over, right and muddy.

814
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: They love live tweeting, I actually really did.

815
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 3: I loved live tweeting, the.

816
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: Instagram version of life watching live.

817
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 2: Well, I get, I mean there probably is some version

818
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 2: of threads, I guess, but I don't have X so

819
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 2: I can't do it.

820
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 3: You guys can't do it.

821
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: Well. I think this is a conversation to be continued.

822
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: I think that it affects us all differently. I do

823
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 1: think that we cannot I mean, you did, you helped me,

824
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: so I hope that we can all help each other

825
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,439
Speaker 1: in it. And you know, I don't know. You don't

826
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: all have to look at it the way that I do.

827
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: But I do think that we're living in a time

828
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,800
Speaker 1: where the path to joyce seems like Yeah.

829
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,359
Speaker 2: One of the reasons why I wanted to do this

830
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:55,760
Speaker 2: episode today is because I do think the impression always

831
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 2: is is that like you're in the industry, you're an actor,

832
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: like obviously you're like bam posted like you know, and

833
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: you're not You're not ever second guessing, and you're not

834
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 2: ever really like you know, oh my god, you're not

835
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 2: getting anxiety from like hitting send or something, and it

836
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 2: happens to all of us Champagne problems. But like these

837
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: things are really honestly causing people anxiety. I mean, there

838
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 2: are studies on it. So I do want to hear

839
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 2: more from everybody.

840
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 1: And again, as you pointed out, if it's happening to adults,

841
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: imagine what it's happening No, I know, you know, adolescent

842
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 1: brains that really don't have the tools to you know,

843
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: to phone the friend, to self talk to look for support.

844
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: I mean, and these are oftentimes adolescents that are living

845
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: in homes that are full of love and in communities

846
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: that are full of love. But then they can go

847
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: on and have this like split second.

848
00:43:55,920 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 6: Full body, full mind response to this tiny little post

849
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 6: that it makes them feel like that post means more

850
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 6: than all the love and all the support in their

851
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 6: lives or the.

852
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 3: Reality of what's around them.

853
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: The little thing that you're holding in your hand, Yes,

854
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 2: takes over too much from like the actual reality around

855
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: you that you're living. Yeah, this is one of those

856
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 2: episodes where we just really wanted to be like, hey,

857
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 2: this is sort of what's been going on this week

858
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 2: with us.

859
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this.

860
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 3: Is where we're at. This is these are the conversations

861
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 3: we're having.

862
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: No joke, I you you really helped a sister out

863
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 1: of a jam.

864
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 3: Listen, if you've got anxiety, you know who to go.

865
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 3: But you did.

866
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: Not to minimize that. And I understand it is not it's yes,

867
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: and by the way, of course, so do I. These

868
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 1: are not these are not grave problems, these are these

869
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: are the.

870
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 3: But I think these are the things that are triggering

871
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:53,439
Speaker 3: people all the time.

872
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: Is the point, the things that happen in between our ears.

873
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 2: And that's what's shocking, because you're like, there's there's not

874
00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,959
Speaker 2: an earthquake, but.

875
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: My body feels like there's an earthquake.

876
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: It feels like there's an earthquake. And then think about

877
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 1: this is where I think you do get into how

878
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: the domino effect, you know, or what happens in the

879
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: domino effect is that that state of mind goes out

880
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 1: into the world and it's contagious, right, Like that person

881
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: has been made worried and worrying and they're no longer

882
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 1: in their state of path to joy and they're going

883
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,919
Speaker 1: out and they're the person that's like cutting you off

884
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 1: on the highway. They're a person that's stepping on your front.

885
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 1: I'm not saying sorry. They're the person that's not holding

886
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: the door. I'm obviously making all this up, but I

887
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 1: just I think there's a connection.

888
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:41,439
Speaker 2: No, I think you're absolutely right. Yeah, it manifests into

889
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 2: the energy of your day, and then that affects you

890
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 2: an X person, that affects an next person, and there's

891
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 2: a cumulative.

892
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:47,800
Speaker 3: Effect for sure.

893
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, we want to hear from you. This

894
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 2: is a to be continued to be see.

895
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: All right, Well, let's call it the end of the episode.