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Speaker 1: The nick Nikki Hey guys, how's it going. Happy Monday,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Nicky Glazer Podcast. Oh boy, I can't

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Speaker 1: even believe the last time I talked to you guys,

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Speaker 1: Where was I Los Angeles? Noah, where the hell was

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Speaker 1: I on Thursday? That right? Oh my god, I didn't

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Speaker 1: even talk about that. So much has happened since I

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Speaker 1: last talk to you guys. Um, yeah it was. You know.

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Speaker 1: I was talking about a show I was on last

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Speaker 1: week that I did for a couple of days, and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you what it was. It was amazing.

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Speaker 1: It was such a good experience. People are in my

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Speaker 1: d m s guessing what show it is. Um, some

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Speaker 1: of you are right, some of you are wrong. I

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Speaker 1: cannot reveal, but you will, but you will find out.

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Speaker 1: And UM, I got I'm just I'm forever changed from

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Speaker 1: my experience on that show. And I can't wait for

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Speaker 1: you guys to see it. And then I went to

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Speaker 1: the ted Lasso season two premiere, which was so fun.

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Speaker 1: UM didn't know, Noah that it was going to be

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Speaker 1: the event that it was because of COVID and everything

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Speaker 1: like these events that these premieres, these um even awards

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Speaker 1: shows are just way less uh glitsee and glamy. Then

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Speaker 1: they were prior. Like if ted Lazo premiere would have

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Speaker 1: been in a pre COVID world, I would have had

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Speaker 1: full hair and makeup, gotten h an outfit done, had

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Speaker 1: like a purse to match my office, like everything. But

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Speaker 1: this one, I was like, there's gonna be like of

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Speaker 1: you know, five ft of step and repeat, you know,

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Speaker 1: like not because ted last is not a big deal

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Speaker 1: and just got nominated for like literally every Emmy and

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Speaker 1: Tony even though it's not a musical. Um that's not true.

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Speaker 1: Don't look that up. It didn't, but it's it's it's like,

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Speaker 1: got every nomination. Um. So I should have figured it

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Speaker 1: would be a huge event because it was. It was

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Speaker 1: probably the biggest event I've ever been to. No, I

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Speaker 1: guess the vm AS two thousand ish was probably the

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Speaker 1: biggest one. But I mean it was up there, we

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Speaker 1: got there, um, and I was not I'll go back.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared for how much press this would get

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Speaker 1: and how much of a um, how many photos of

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Speaker 1: me would be taken. And I was trying to save

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Speaker 1: money because I spent so much money last week on

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Speaker 1: styling for that secret show. I was on and I

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Speaker 1: was just trying to, you know, like see if I

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Speaker 1: could do it myself. I did my own makeup. I

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Speaker 1: used my hair from the day before that was put

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Speaker 1: up in like a really tight um bun with a

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Speaker 1: bunch of pins and by a professional hair stylist, um

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Speaker 1: my guy Drayton. Uh. He did a great job. And

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Speaker 1: I tried to hold it from Wednesday to Thursday, slept

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Speaker 1: with like a I wrapped my head in a swimsuit

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Speaker 1: because I didn't have anything like a key to put

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Speaker 1: on it. And it held pretty well, and then like

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Speaker 1: an hour before Thursday's event and starts like falling out

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Speaker 1: and it legit looked like I just slept on it

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Speaker 1: and like just threw it. But sometimes up dudes literally

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Speaker 1: just I mean this one was a day old, so

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Speaker 1: I can't blame it. But sometimes it just looked like

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Speaker 1: I had a messy bond that I threw up my

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Speaker 1: hair after U you know, oh high intensity workout at Equinox.

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Speaker 1: Like I looked like disheveled in my hair, And I'm

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Speaker 1: all I'm thinking about, is my glam team seeing pictures

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Speaker 1: of me from the ted last from You're going, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, why didn't she use us? And the answer is,

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Speaker 1: because you're expensive. You're very expensive. And so I did

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Speaker 1: my own makeup and I didn't do a bad job

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Speaker 1: on that. I wish I had put on fake eyelashes,

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Speaker 1: but I go, fuck it. I used serum. They're big

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Speaker 1: at they're you know, thick enough. I got there. Oh

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Speaker 1: and then my um, one of my stylists, is like

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Speaker 1: my friend, and I was like, listen, I couldn't afford

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Speaker 1: to get you guys for this thing, but um, can

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Speaker 1: I borrow these one boots that you guys left at

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Speaker 1: my place during a fitting? And they were like, sure,

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Speaker 1: to totally use the boots. I met her in the

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Speaker 1: lobby because I was giving her my outfit from the

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Speaker 1: day before so she could return it because you don't

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Speaker 1: get to keep these clothes. And I go, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: wear the boots and she was like, let me see

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Speaker 1: if I have anything in my car I can give you,

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Speaker 1: just like a personal items. So she had this like

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Speaker 1: leopard print shirt. Um, and she was like, maybe you

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Speaker 1: can do something with this. It's kind of fun. I

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Speaker 1: think it's like a show. I went back to my

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Speaker 1: room and I took a picture of everything that could

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Speaker 1: be a good outfit for red carpet, like a cool look.

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Speaker 1: And the the the sheet that we got about the

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Speaker 1: event said the dress code is smart casual. So it's

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Speaker 1: just like put on a pair of glasses with something

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Speaker 1: you feel comfy in and you are like carry a

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Speaker 1: book with you um, and or where like one of

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Speaker 1: those graduation cap like mortar board thing that's smart. Um.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, Jason's snake is wore a tight eye,

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Speaker 1: you know, hoodie on the golden globe, so that's kind

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Speaker 1: of like the ted Lasso vibe. I didn't know. I

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Speaker 1: think I thought it would be a good idea that

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Speaker 1: if you have a party you have to share what

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Speaker 1: you're going to wear with your guests because it's causes

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Speaker 1: women so much worry and consternation being like what should

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Speaker 1: I wear? I mean I I met up with Jamie Lee,

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Speaker 1: who was a writer on the show, and we went together,

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Speaker 1: like our groups went together, and she was like, I go,

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna wear? And she's like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I bought this like funky dress and I was like,

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Speaker 1: a funky dress is perfect. And then we met up

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Speaker 1: and we had like two kind of different interpretations of

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Speaker 1: smart casual, but it still worked, and there were some women.

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Speaker 1: I saw some women there in like pleather jumpsuits that

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Speaker 1: were like a little too dressy. It's works being too

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Speaker 1: dressy than underdressed. I think I was definitely under dressed.

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Speaker 1: I think I was dressed perfectly for it. But what

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Speaker 1: sarks for you showing up to an event overdressed or underdressed? Overdressed,

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Speaker 1: my biggest fear is trying too hard and then underdressed

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Speaker 1: also is a fear because it shows a level of

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Speaker 1: disrespect for the thing you've been invited to. So both

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Speaker 1: suck and I mean they're barely overdresses barely worse than underdressed.

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Speaker 1: They're both awful. Um, but I was definitely I was

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Speaker 1: a little bit. No, I was perfect, but this is

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Speaker 1: what I ended up doing. No, So I went shopping

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Speaker 1: that day to match the leopard thing I wanted. She said,

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Speaker 1: just put on like a black slip dress underneath. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't find one. I did find a black dress, but

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Speaker 1: it was too long and like not that cute, and

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Speaker 1: I bought it just in case to have something, And

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Speaker 1: then I ripped the slip out from inside it because

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Speaker 1: it's way cute. It was shorter, and I put that

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Speaker 1: on top, and then the leopard thing underneath it, and

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Speaker 1: then with the boots and my sales and I agreed

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Speaker 1: from the pictures I took in my bathroom, like that's

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Speaker 1: the look. However, the slip was completely see through, so okay, ship,

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Speaker 1: it's a black slip see through, and it's like a

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Speaker 1: shitty slip inside a shitty dress, like if this isn't

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Speaker 1: nice stuff and so, but it's underneath the leopard thing,

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Speaker 1: which is nice enough, so it's kind of hidden. But

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Speaker 1: I could not. I don't know what the flashes are

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Speaker 1: going to be, like on the Red Carpet. It could

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Speaker 1: just be one of those moments where you're wearing see

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Speaker 1: through underwear. And I don't mind the toppings either. I

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Speaker 1: don't mind seeing a braw underneath, but like underwear, you

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Speaker 1: don't really want to see that. I predict that's going

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Speaker 1: to be the next fashion is like, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: see through bottoms where you can just see your underwear. Um,

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Speaker 1: So what I did was I was like, I have

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Speaker 1: to layer it. What am I gonna do? So I

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Speaker 1: found a black tank top that matched the straps. This

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Speaker 1: is so uninteresting to men, but in possibly most women.

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Speaker 1: And then I found a blue skirt that would then

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Speaker 1: like I had to find stuff to wear under the

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Speaker 1: slip to make it not see through right and just

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Speaker 1: make it look like it was just a So I

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Speaker 1: found a blue skirt that I got an American apparel

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Speaker 1: ages ago that I had just thrown in my bag

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Speaker 1: on a whim that was to lose. So I took

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Speaker 1: a belt and I fastened the belt and the tank

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Speaker 1: top underneath my lip with a cinching belt that like

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Speaker 1: cinched my waist like you know, bridgeton. And then on

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Speaker 1: top of that was the slip. So I had this

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Speaker 1: crazy rig underneath to make this slip that was already

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Speaker 1: shitty not that had homus on it. I've somehow gotten

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Speaker 1: hummus on my fingers and it wiped. It looks like deodorant,

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Speaker 1: but it's harder to get off. And I wear it's

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Speaker 1: a new natural deodor and I'm trying and it's just

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Speaker 1: sabra hummus, and I go on the red garpet I

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Speaker 1: get there. The vet is we had to get COVID

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Speaker 1: tested in a garage. Uh. We arrive on foot from

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Speaker 1: an uber. Everyone else in l A is driving in.

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Speaker 1: They have no entrance for us unless you're driving into

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Speaker 1: the parking garage where the COVID test is. So we

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Speaker 1: have to walk through traffic, and it's like it was

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Speaker 1: this whole thing. I um. I invited Jeff Die to

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Speaker 1: go with me, my friend Jeff Die, who has one

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Speaker 1: of the most obnoxious cars I've ever seen in my life.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, a, Jeff, we gotta pick up

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Speaker 1: Jamie Lee. She's gonna go with us on the way there,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, I go, is that okay? Knowing

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Speaker 1: it was okay, you know, but also getting too I

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Speaker 1: do asking for permission, and so I go to Jamie

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Speaker 1: go it's gonna be fine, but I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I gotta ask Jeff. And so he rides back. Actually

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Speaker 1: I can't give her a ride because my car is

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Speaker 1: a two seater. And I was like, okay, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wonder what car he's gonna bring, because

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Speaker 1: I have seen his red Jeep. That is truly I mean, noah,

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Speaker 1: this car. It's a gigantic, red, flashy red Jeep. The

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Speaker 1: tires are I'm gonna say there, it's a monster truck.

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Speaker 1: You cannot get into the car without stepping upon the

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Speaker 1: wheel and then up like it's um it felt like

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Speaker 1: a Jurassic park ride. I felt like I was at

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Speaker 1: Universal Studios. He pulls up to get me before we

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Speaker 1: get Jamie. So so we agree we're gonna go to

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Speaker 1: Jamie's park your car, then we're all going to uber

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Speaker 1: it from there so we can all go together. He

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Speaker 1: pulls up, I get in. I am like struggling. He goes,

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Speaker 1: do you want me to help you? And I go

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Speaker 1: I would like you to get the door from me.

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Speaker 1: If I was in a Honda Civic, much less just

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Speaker 1: having to climb upon a wheel to get an and

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Speaker 1: I'm wearing like a nice dress. So so he's trying

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Speaker 1: to help me. He's like, you didn't even let me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're right. I I often do that

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Speaker 1: to Everyone's like why didn't you give me this thing?

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Speaker 1: And it's like because you are fast and I'm slow

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Speaker 1: and you didn't give me time. So I just go

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Speaker 1: fuck it. I climbed in. I like flashed him on

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Speaker 1: the way and I was like, I'm wearing underwear. I

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Speaker 1: don't even care because I had to. Like it was

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Speaker 1: just like I was sweaty and like we're in this

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Speaker 1: jeep that's open air. Thank god, my hair was already

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Speaker 1: pulled back. But it's like a and then he has

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Speaker 1: a he has a little speaker thing on it too

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Speaker 1: that he takes. He takes the little thing and there's

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Speaker 1: a speaker on it where he'll just go like like

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Speaker 1: your like added intersection to a guy walking by. He

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Speaker 1: is insane. It was so I was like, Jeff, please

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Speaker 1: do not stop using that because he'll he was he

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Speaker 1: does these things called life oaks that I am deeply

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable by, but like like they're just he he has

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Speaker 1: allowed obnoxious car and he also has this like speaker

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Speaker 1: thing that he only brings joy to the world with.

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Speaker 1: Like he's just like sorry about that, man, I'll move

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Speaker 1: right along. Like it's just everyone laughs whenever he does it.

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Speaker 1: It's not like obnoxious, but it's like a speed like

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Speaker 1: it's a cop speaker on his car. So we get

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Speaker 1: to Jamie's. We park, I climbed down from the um

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Speaker 1: dune buggy, go to the event. Were like schluffing it

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Speaker 1: and we go get COVID tested. It takes forever, but

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Speaker 1: it's still fun because we're all just like hanging out

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Speaker 1: in a parking garage and like looking at everyone else

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Speaker 1: and I don't see any celebts yet. And then we

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Speaker 1: finally get to the red, red, blue carpet and there's

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Speaker 1: bleachers of fans, two huge bleachers filled with fans all

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Speaker 1: massed up, just like waiting for the celebrities to arrive,

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Speaker 1: kind of like the Red Carpet things you see. I've

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Speaker 1: never seen an audience for the Red carpet before. And

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Speaker 1: I go walk the carpet. Um, I'm the first one

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Speaker 1: to walk. And we don't even get there early, and

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Speaker 1: they're like you're the first one. I was like, that

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Speaker 1: feels awkward. And the woman there's like a woman assigned

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Speaker 1: to walk you down the red carpet. She's dressed in

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Speaker 1: all black. She's kind of like one of the crew

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Speaker 1: and um, and I'm joking with her and like being

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Speaker 1: fun and like we're putting in eye drops getting ready

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Speaker 1: to go. The audience is kind of like watching us

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Speaker 1: get ready, being like who is that? Like people don't

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Speaker 1: really know who we are or anything, and um uh.

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Speaker 1: One person said I'm a comedy icon and like filled

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Speaker 1: the rest in and just like shouted like you're a

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Speaker 1: comedy icon, Nicky Glazer, and I was like, thank you Dad.

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Speaker 1: I was like, thank you to that one person who

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Speaker 1: informed everyone else that I'm someone. Uh, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: really need it. Was just like I love red carpets.

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Speaker 1: I've been a nobody on red carpets for so long

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Speaker 1: because I've had opportunities from famous friends who brought me that.

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Speaker 1: I always just tell the photographers, I know you don't

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Speaker 1: know who I am. I'm Nicky Glazer. You're going to

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Speaker 1: use this someday, whether or not, like whether it's on

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Speaker 1: deadline because I get something announced or um, I die

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Speaker 1: tragically and they're gonna buy this, so just please get

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Speaker 1: a picture. I've always make the photographers laugh. It's like

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Speaker 1: I don't have a problem being addressing them in a

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Speaker 1: way that's like I know I'm not a big deal,

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Speaker 1: but just please get my picture. I need this for

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Speaker 1: Instagram or whatever. And they laugh and they kind of

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Speaker 1: take a picture. But this woman's going through and uh,

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Speaker 1: it takes my go can you take my purses? That?

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Speaker 1: Okay too old? It's like a part of my look

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Speaker 1: but maybe not. And she's like old you. She goes,

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Speaker 1: do you have a different lipstick. It's just like this

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Speaker 1: woman is just like working. She's not a part of

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Speaker 1: the beauty team. There's no she doesn't have this role.

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Speaker 1: She just goes your lipsy, it's a little like, it's

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Speaker 1: just your lips are disappearing in your face. Literally, as

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Speaker 1: she's putting me on my mark with sixty photographers screaming

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Speaker 1: my name, she goes gep a different lip and she's

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Speaker 1: probably like my mom's age. And I was just like, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't I go this is I like this? And

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Speaker 1: she was like, it's just and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: she's making me feel insecure right away. I take a

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Speaker 1: bunch of pictures. I fucking kill it. She's a little

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Speaker 1: surprised because she's like, Wow, this girl like knows what

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Speaker 1: she's doing, and people are calling her name and wanting

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Speaker 1: to nick you over here, dick you over here. I

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Speaker 1: can tell this woman's like, I mean, I thought this

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Speaker 1: girl was like a nobody and kind of and then

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Speaker 1: she goes, oh, and before this, she goes, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of like, you know, reporters here doing interviews. We'll

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Speaker 1: see if they want to talk to you. Maybe you

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Speaker 1: can get them to talk to you if you flash

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Speaker 1: a little leg And I go, what if I just

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Speaker 1: blow one of them? Because I hate the idea that, like,

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Speaker 1: it really disturbed everyone who heard me say this to her,

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Speaker 1: because I just this woman was already annoying me. And

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Speaker 1: then she goes flash legs so that anyone wants to

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Speaker 1: talk to you, meaning that's the only reason someone want

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Speaker 1: to talk to me, and I go, I'll just blow

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Speaker 1: one of them. Just tell them I'll blow them, because

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Speaker 1: first of all, it's such an old fashioned like way

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Speaker 1: to get It's just like I just didn't like it.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, shut up. She's a nice woman,

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Speaker 1: she's only trying to be nice, but I just kind

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Speaker 1: of snap back at her. And then we're going through No,

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Speaker 1: I get done with all my pictures, and then there's

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Speaker 1: there's a huge line like all the way down the

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Speaker 1: carpet photographers, but also people doing interviews Hollywood reporter, E news,

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Speaker 1: different YouTube celebt, show biz channels. You know, the guy

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Speaker 1: with a little microphone that has the name of their

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Speaker 1: YouTube channel on the thing. And she goes out to me.

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Speaker 1: She goes, the Hollywood reporter wants to talk to you,

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Speaker 1: and I go, Okay, great, I do that interview he

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Speaker 1: wants to talk to She goes up, she goes, he

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Speaker 1: wants to talk to you, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: all right, cool, And then by the end of it,

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Speaker 1: she goes, wow, everyone wanted to talk to you, and

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Speaker 1: I go, oh, my gosh, it's almost like I'm talented.

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Speaker 1: Hu huh, where's my purse? And I just like, I'm

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Speaker 1: just like, I can't deal with you anymore. Woman who

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Speaker 1: is hired to make me feel marginalized before I do

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Speaker 1: one of the most important things. And and I was

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Speaker 1: already feeling insecure because I did not plan. I'm wearing

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Speaker 1: a blue skirt from American Apparel with a belt underneath,

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Speaker 1: address underneath. Mean, it was a whole nightmare. And I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if any of this was interesting, but

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Speaker 1: the event was awesome. We finally get in there. We

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Speaker 1: watched two episodes of UH Last So Tim Cook from

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Speaker 1: Apple introduces Bill Lawrence, who then introduces UH Jason Sadekis

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Speaker 1: the Lawrence is my friend who is the creator of

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Speaker 1: the show. With Jason Sadekis. They're all hilarious. Actually, um

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Speaker 1: Jeff at one point Jeff who does these life jokes.

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Speaker 1: At one point, Tim Cook, like the head of Apple,

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Speaker 1: is like, I really appreciate you all being here tonight

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Speaker 1: and kind of made a thing like you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: say anything. And and and Jeff, we're in the front.

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Speaker 1: We're in the second row. And by the way, all

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Speaker 1: the cast and everyone is like kind of behind us

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Speaker 1: because they're not wanting to be like center of attention.

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Speaker 1: But they put me. I think they put me in

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Speaker 1: this second row because I was like, uh, probably one

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Speaker 1: of the people who wasn't on the cast, one of

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Speaker 1: the most famous people there, and that's not and just

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Speaker 1: because I got an invite, it wasn't because famous people

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be there, like it was just select people.

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Speaker 1: And I'm friends with Bill Lawrence and it was just

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Speaker 1: such and a huge fan of the show, so it

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Speaker 1: was an honor. And when Tim Cook Cook goes, uh,

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Speaker 1: it's great to be here with you all. I'm excited

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Speaker 1: to be here with you, Jeff goes, we're excited to

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Speaker 1: be here with like he had called Tim Cook and

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Speaker 1: I collapsed and I just go, Jeff, no, And then

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Speaker 1: Tim Cook liked it. He was like thanks man, and

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Speaker 1: then it got a laugh and like made him much

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Speaker 1: more comfortable. So the heckle helped. But I was humiliated,

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Speaker 1: And but it was kind of fun because he was

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Speaker 1: getting a kick out of how embarrassed I was, and

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Speaker 1: then Tim Cook kept talking in the whole time. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: please do not see anything else. Please. Bill Lawrence at

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Speaker 1: one point got up and was like, uh, said a

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Speaker 1: joke and was like, wow, I thought that was gonna

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Speaker 1: get more or he goes he got like an applause

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Speaker 1: and he goes, well, you gotta be honest. I expected

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Speaker 1: a little bit more just making a joke. And then

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Speaker 1: Jeff stood up to give him a standing out and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, sit down, stop it right now, Like and um.

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Speaker 1: It was just one of those things where it was

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Speaker 1: like I was mortified. I was like, Andrew is whenever

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Speaker 1: I do. When I was practicing our dance the airport

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Speaker 1: the other day to do on stage, Andrew got so

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Speaker 1: embarrassed at the airport that I was doing the dance.

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Speaker 1: I have to go now and bring Andrew in. But um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know I know what that felt like. And the

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Speaker 1: truth is, uh, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

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Speaker 1: Everything was fine, and um, but I just I get so.

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Speaker 1: I felt the way people feel when they're at a

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Speaker 1: comedy show and someone at their tables heckling, and the

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Speaker 1: rest of the tables like please make her stop. And

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Speaker 1: I always say that whenever someone had coles, I go.

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Speaker 1: Your table is so humiliated being with you. You are

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Speaker 1: ruining this for them. They feel responsible for you. Just

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Speaker 1: don't do this to your friends. So, um, I just

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Speaker 1: don't do that to your friends. Let's get one of

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Speaker 1: my friends in here. Hey, he's been here all morning.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand your vibe. Hey, Andrew, no one comes

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Speaker 1: in our podcast studio. I mean, Luigi just got very

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Speaker 1: mad at our one of our technicians. Have you ever

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Speaker 1: been a random stranger me? The first day I had

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Speaker 1: remember when you bait me, bitch? Yeah, the first day

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Speaker 1: I got him. He was rescue and um did not

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Speaker 1: like my vibe and bit me in the hand and

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Speaker 1: I cried. And my parents were in town in l A.

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Speaker 1: And they were like, you need to get rid of

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Speaker 1: this dog. This is because I was fostering him. And

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Speaker 1: they were like, you cannot do this. This dog is broken.

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Speaker 1: And my Dad's like, I've never had a dog bite

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Speaker 1: me before. This dog is there's something wrong with this dog.

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Speaker 1: I've never had a dog. And I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna keep this dog. And not only am I gonna

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Speaker 1: keep him, but he's gonna be better and more well

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Speaker 1: behaved than any dog you've ever had, dad in your

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Speaker 1: sixty six years of life. And guess what he is.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what Luigi is. I'm gonna brag right now.

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Speaker 1: He's a dog where I could walk down the street. Yeah,

401
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Speaker 1: listen up, listener, listen up, besties, because this you know

402
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,159
Speaker 1: what kind of dog that says I don't have to

403
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Speaker 1: have him on leash, and he follows me, and he

404
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 1: can be around other dogs, and he can be around people,

405
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Speaker 1: and he follows right next to me like a calm

406
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Speaker 1: little dog, and he can be awfully so suck at Dad.

407
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Speaker 1: Not only did this dog bite me in the first day,

408
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Speaker 1: but now he has a dog that follows me next

409
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Speaker 1: to my ankles, and uh, he's well more well behaved

410
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: off leash than on. When he's on leash, he'll pull,

411
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Speaker 1: but when he's off he knows that this is a

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Speaker 1: privilege and he needs to stick to the rules. And

413
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Speaker 1: I'm I'm a person that can walk on the street

414
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Speaker 1: with a dog off leash in the city. That is amazing.

415
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 1: People look at me and I don't like that, and

416
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Speaker 1: I'm like, my dog's gonna have an issue. It's your dog.

417
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Speaker 1: The problem is people go off leash with dogs that

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Speaker 1: should not be off leash. Yes, it happens way too much.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I always put him on leash as

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Speaker 1: soon as I see a dog coming, because I don't

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Speaker 1: want that owner to be like grow with the dog

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Speaker 1: off leasing. You know, but I do know, and Luigi

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Speaker 1: is a pussy and will not get into any skirts. Scuffle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah when when he bat he beat your hand. Blood

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Speaker 1: blood there there there was there was, there was blood

426
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 1: and I just bid by a dog because I was,

427
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 1: you know, as a dog walker. I was your dog walker.

428
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 1: It took a while for Luigi to open up to me.

429
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 1: He never bit me now because I'm better looking and

430
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 1: more attractive and the thicker nipples know that, uh than me.

431
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 1: Should we have a nipple off? No? No, like we'll

432
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: just show Noah, Noah, I'm not What do you mean

433
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: a nipple off? I mean like yours are men, My

434
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 1: nipples definitely get bigger than yours and like puffier because

435
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: I'm a woman who obulates around your period. You nipples

436
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 1: get no dude, I mean yours have like puffiness around

437
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: the areola, like it's not even like the nip part

438
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: is puffy. It's like the puffiness around it and mine's flat.

439
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, mine, that's what I'm saying. Puff. Yeah, they're

440
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 1: not bad. Thanks, that's full puff too. I showed you. No,

441
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: I didn't even try to harden a moment. Well, thank

442
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: you for that? Does that, Louie. That's not like a

443
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 1: that's not sucked up to do that to someone show

444
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: if you're jerking off while doing it, or just ask.

445
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: I mean, it would be weird if someone did asked

446
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 1: for that. You kind of said Noah, and I still

447
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: went without no. I said, I don't want to show

448
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: no Noah my nipples. Um this dog. He had a

449
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 1: Bernie's mollin dog and uh, I always think of Bernie

450
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 1: Sauce whenever I say that Bernie Weekend at Bernie's Bernie

451
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: Sauce Weeken and Bernie Max was an idea I had,

452
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 1: and then someone else, Bernie Mac died much after Bernie mcdog.

453
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: I thought that. I mean, it was an idea for

454
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: a tweet. It was gonna be like a video. I

455
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 1: was gonna shoot with a guy that looked like Bernie Mac. Yeah,

456
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: weekend at Bernie Max. So which black friend were you

457
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: going to get to play. Bernie Mac might have thought

458
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: about doing black face at the time, but I'm glad

459
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: that was before you knew it was wrong. I'm glad

460
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: I was lazy, um and yeah, I was sleeping on

461
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: the couch and the Bernie's Mac Bernie's Mac dog was

462
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: on the ground and I was sleeping and he was

463
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 1: sleeping and I just look put my hand barely onf

464
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: and he bit my hand, yeah, causing blood. And it's

465
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: a big dog. I told my buddy about it. He

466
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 1: gave me, he venomin me twenty dollars to keep my mouth,

467
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:23,479
Speaker 1: I mean, and it didn't work. That is hilarious. Just

468
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 1: what does that even? Honestly, what's it for? Just to

469
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: be like man? There's nothing yet man can in terms

470
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: of like a tip if you leave, like your maide

471
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: a tip, or like the guy helps you with your

472
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: bags to your room twenty verses of five, that'll keep,

473
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: that'll keep. That's hush money for Like there were certain

474
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 1: tips I've left for maids that are like, if you

475
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: smell weed in this room, can you not report it?

476
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: I left you twenty dollars to clean up of room

477
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: that doesn't really need that much, Like I haven't soiled

478
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: much seems like you're breaking a law there paying someone

479
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: to keep quiet. No, I'm not actually doing it, but

480
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: it's like I could see where they just got done

481
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: cleaning room that that that was trash. The person left

482
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: them no money. Which if you ever check out of

483
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: a room and you don't leave cash for the maids

484
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: your you should stop listening to this podcast. Someone recently

485
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: told me this. We should have a segment called don't

486
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast, or it should be called don't

487
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast because I say it so many

488
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: times an episode. But truly, if you're someone who doesn't

489
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: leave cash tip for a maid when you leave a hotel,

490
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 1: don't listen to this podcast or change your way because

491
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: you didn't know better until now. Um, what if, though,

492
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: you had a dog in your hotel room and it

493
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,679
Speaker 1: bit the maids neck, and then how much would you

494
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: give the maid? Not twenty? You'd give her like a hunt.

495
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: I would pay for her medical bills that she needs,

496
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: like I I'm good about giving what they didn't started

497
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: I should have went to the doctor. And it's been like,

498
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 1: hey man, yeah, you go to the doctor when you

499
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 1: think you're choking on air. Yet you won't go when

500
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: you get bit by a dog that could be rabbit. Yeah,

501
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: I asked him if you had raby shots. The dog

502
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 1: died not long after. I don't know. I probably got

503
00:24:54,280 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: rabies from me. It got lazies, ladies, bird names. No,

504
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,959
Speaker 1: it's uh. The dog bite thing is interesting because my

505
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 1: dad I just remember being like, our dog, I've never

506
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: had a dog bite me. Then later on they had

507
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 1: a dog that would bite everyone, Karma and then yeah,

508
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: that dog named Karma, and then and then uh, and

509
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: then Marian got attacked by a dog and they're like,

510
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: or why would do dog was a vicious kujo that

511
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: needs to be put It's like, no, you had dogs.

512
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: That dog is sweet. That dog that bit Marian in Tech,

513
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: Marian was just dogs don't do that because they're they're

514
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: either trained to do it and attack things or they're

515
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: acting on instinct. It's not like a dog is actually

516
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: a sociopathic dog that like wants to cause harm. Like,

517
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: it's not the dogs. The dog is just being an animal.

518
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: So I literally don't get mad at dogs when they bite,

519
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 1: but that dog is fucked up. All it was like,

520
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? It's just a dog. It

521
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 1: was being a dog. Yeah, let a dog be a dog.

522
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 1: How do we expect? I got so mad when I

523
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: posted that Mary got attacked by a sweet I go,

524
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: Marrion's a sweet dog, and so is the dog that

525
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: attacked her. And my dad saw that on Instagram and goes,

526
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: what do you really he's a sweet dog? And I go,

527
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 1: because every dog is sweet. No dogs are born like

528
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna rape and murder like there are no I

529
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: don't think there's psychopathic dogs. And so if you were

530
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: a dog that attacks someone, I think you're sweet and

531
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: you're just trying. You're you're probably chained up in the

532
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: backyard so much and you have a lot of anger

533
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: and angst and it comes out when you see a

534
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: little white dog that looks like a squirrel that it

535
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: looks a hundred years old. And if I saw Marion

536
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: running out, I would think it was like a white

537
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: walker like that. Marian doesn't look like a dog. Marion

538
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: looks like a floating rag that's like made out of

539
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: like cream cheese, old cream cheese. Probably just thought it

540
00:26:55,080 --> 00:27:01,120
Speaker 1: was a hydrated poodle, an air fried poodle. I mean,

541
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: I told you about my one, but he got bit

542
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: by a dog bird well, and he was laying on

543
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 1: the couch at Doberman bit his nose off and ate it,

544
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: ate it to ship and pick up the nose. He

545
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:18,959
Speaker 1: picked his nose all right, Oh my god. And they

546
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 1: took the doorman's nose. They were like, I nose for

547
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: a nose. Yeah, it's his name is bird Well and

548
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 1: it should be dog Well. Well, it sounds like bird

549
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: Well is such a weird I kind of like that

550
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: last name. Does he really have a weird nose? So

551
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: they took skin. I used to do a joke about it,

552
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: but I think I was wrong. I think they took

553
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 1: skin from his thigh, but I used to do that.

554
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: He took skin from his ass and made a nose

555
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: out of it, and then that nose grew hair, so

556
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: he had ass hair coming out of his nose. Happened

557
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: sometimes where they takes scrowdum skin because you guys have

558
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 1: so much extra skin down there. It'll be used to

559
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 1: patch up. I saw someone with a like a finger,

560
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: like their finger was burned, so they need to do

561
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: a graft or something, and so they put it or

562
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: their hand and they they put it on their finger

563
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: or hand and then it looks like ball skin. On

564
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: and it grew like it grew like pubic ball skin.

565
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 1: I think that's cool. The place change your ball skin

566
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: is your elbow skin. Could get a ball skin transplant,

567
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: but you know, a ball skin looks ridiculous. I think

568
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: it would be so funny if I had a part

569
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: of my hand that was lady a skin, I would

570
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: show it off and be like, my lady is on

571
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: my hand. I think it's cool. My friend Catherine had

572
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: tore her a c L and anyone look at the

573
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: cameras frozen on Noah, and she literally looks like her

574
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 1: head is into her skin, laughing, but her head back

575
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: and she looks like that guy from ninety D Fiance,

576
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: the little one that's like that has no neck but hot,

577
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: but like so hot. Um, my friend got her a

578
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: c L ripped and got a cadaver's a c L,

579
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: which is a popular isn't one of the ways that people,

580
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: I have a dead guy's balls tell you? I mean, yeah,

581
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: I didn't tell you that. Yeah, that's what you mean.

582
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have your dead ball guy skin on your hand,

583
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: but you would have your own. I don't know, I

584
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: wouldn't want no. I'm just saying why are we taking

585
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: our I mean that's absurd to skin from your balls,

586
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 1: I mean, get it from anywhere else where. It looks

587
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: like regular skin because you have a lot of extra

588
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: skin down there and you then that means you have

589
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: to take out a piece of your thigh that's going

590
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: to be uh. Your balls already looked gross enough. Who

591
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: cares if you? And I would want to tighten those up.

592
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: If I were with the guys, I would want to

593
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: remove ball skin and I'd like to take my handskin

594
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 1: and put it on my balls, smooth it out a

595
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 1: little bit. These things, right, I'd have to get an

596
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: old man's hand and ball shape. You a should be

597
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: a new thing too, But oh yeah, if your ball's

598
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: got mangled nine year old, you use a cadaver's ball

599
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: skin or hand skin to match. I'm so confused, But

600
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: my friend got to cadaverse a c l and I

601
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: think it's so cool to have someone's a dead person's

602
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: part in. I think it's awesome. I want one, you want,

603
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go skiing so I can fuck my a

604
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: c l up. I just want a dead person's body,

605
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: And I think it would just be a cool story

606
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: to be like, um, I think I do donate to Oregon,

607
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: and um this, I think everything I donate ends up

608
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: at good Wills across America. Uh yeah, I think I'm

609
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: an organ donor because I'm not one of those people

610
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: that's like, you're gonna kill me on purpose that they

611
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: can give my heart to one which person? Oh my god,

612
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 1: people say that all the time. It's it's yeah, it's obnoxious.

613
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: It's you know, conspiracy stuff of like, I'm not going

614
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: to do it because what if um, okay, what if

615
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: Princess Diana someone like that needs eyes? And then I'm

616
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: happy to be in a car accident the same day

617
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: and they could they could, uh, they could save me,

618
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: But they go, this girl has some pretty blue wise

619
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: and Diana couldn't really use though or whatever happened. She

620
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: needs something, so they just like, don't work as hard

621
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: on me. And then they have the eyes for the rich,

622
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: famous person. And then Ivanka Trump has my eyes. Yeah,

623
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: i'd bet art. She has such a pack of all taste.

624
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: And then you know, like you're like, yeah, I broke

625
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: my wrist. We got she died, but her wrist was

626
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: just t I why aren't you putting me to death?

627
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: I saw a guy get shot one time outside of

628
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: comedy club, a comedy show in l A. And he

629
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: was shot like by the neck area, and when they

630
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: were walking, he was able to walk out though, like

631
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: he wasn't like like grazed on my guests. This was

632
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: like outside the show right before he show started and

633
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: they walked like five years ago the comedy Store. No,

634
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: this was in um there was like a weird like

635
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: bookstore show in l A. Did you ever do it where?

636
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, like Camille had that show where yeah,

637
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: you mean meltdown comics and uh, Camille, I mean, what

638
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: did you say? Last night? There was some show on

639
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: and you go yet stars we were watching, Oh okay,

640
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: there's a snooze show called song Exploder. It's based off

641
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: a podcast about songwriting. And Andrew's like, you gotta watch

642
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 1: song Exploder on Netflix. I go to look at it.

643
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: The first episode is du Alipa. And Andrews already saw

644
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: that episode. Can we watch the next one? And then

645
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: he starts telling me about it and like and he

646
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: goes Dowey Lappa like you could. I can only imagine

647
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: how many times they said dou Alipa and you couldn't

648
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: retain it and then Camil you need to know that name.

649
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, he is. Okay. So you saw a

650
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: guy get shot outside of Belt Down Comic. Yeah, and

651
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: he's walking away and they put him in like a

652
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: little gown and his pants were off, so his little

653
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: ass was out and I was like, why, maybe they're

654
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: robbing it so that they could remove a tonk of

655
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: it and put it on his Uh true, they took

656
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: his balls on his neck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm obsessed

657
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: with like face transplants, and I wonder if you needed

658
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: a face transplant and there was a black person, if

659
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: they would put a black person's face or vice versa. Interesting,

660
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: I take it. I take whatever I could get, so

661
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: I didn't have like one of those face look like

662
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: an asshole where it's like sucked in the in the

663
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: middle because people like they tried to do a full

664
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 1: head transplant, really, which is the person died obviously because

665
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: they cut his head off. Well, at least they tried,

666
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: keep trying, keep trying. Let's get to the news. The

667
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: feeling there's going to be something in the news that's

668
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: gonna be similar to these things. Yeah. First, I got

669
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: a great show today, folks, I'm pulling up the news.

670
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: You're talking like it's hasn't started yet because I'm stalling. Okay,

671
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: a year it is, and here we are. I hope

672
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: you're having a great time out there at all the swells.

673
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: I hope your weekend was as romantic and as ours was.

674
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: What what was your? Was your weekend romantic? No? She

675
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: had this poops mine was true? Wait is she okay? Yeah?

676
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 1: I stayed up with her all night last night. I

677
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: came over there she had She didn't think I was

678
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: coming over. She never wrote a come over. I just

679
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: read I'm coming over to save the day because my

680
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: girlfriend has horrible stomach pains. And she had like little

681
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: zip like you know band aids on her head and

682
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: she's like, you shouldn't see me like this, and I

683
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: was like, she's eating gas acts and I was like,

684
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: this is great. I like you more now than ever.

685
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: That's great. Um. Yeah, so okay, first headline. I bought

686
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: those little zip band aids that she told me to get.

687
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: They haven't arrived yet, but I got a z yesterday.

688
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: I was so excited. I was like, oh, I can

689
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: use one of those little patches that Brenna told me

690
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: about it hasn't come yet. Hasn't come yet? Okay. Top

691
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: twenty things that millennials think make you old, as well

692
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: as percentage of respondence who agreed millennials are old right now?

693
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: By the way, gen z is the so this is millennials, Yes,

694
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: millennials that yes, Okay, I'm a millennial? Are you? Yeah? Barely? Barely?

695
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: Is it like right under the wire? I think it's

696
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 1: up to no, no, no, no, no no, no no no.

697
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 1: I think one is the gut off. What would I

698
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: be a gen baby boomer gen X? We got to

699
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: look that up. Okay, here we go. Top twenty things

700
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: that millennials think make you old using cash Dude, I

701
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: had got Thus why we're millennials are old? The new

702
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: thing is gen z is telling us what makes millennials old.

703
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: So is this millennials telling millennials what makes them old?

704
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Remember when gen Z's came out and said,

705
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: if you have a side part that equals old, if

706
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,359
Speaker 1: you use emojis that means you're old. If you write

707
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: L O L instead of that means too old. If

708
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: this is this is signs that make you old according

709
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 1: to millennials. Okay, So millennials saying, like, guys, let's get together.

710
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: There's things that are making us look old. Let's stop

711
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:18,479
Speaker 1: doing them using cash. I agree. I get cash when

712
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 1: I perform at this show in l a and they

713
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: give me so much cash, and I don't I don't

714
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: know what to do with it, and I um, I

715
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: mean I use it for tipping, that's it. And then

716
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: then you literally can't spend it anywhere. No one I

717
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: haven't paid for something in cash, they look you got

718
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: looked at like a leper if you bring out cash.

719
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 1: Especially I don't know. I had those hundred dollar bills

720
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: from over the weekend and I couldn't get rid of them.

721
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: So I went to Golf Galaxy and I got rid

722
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: of them real quick. But just you dropped him in

723
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: the dressing room when you were trying on pants, Yeah,

724
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: and just lost them. It's pretty sad at I literally

725
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: I used to have a joke that was like, I

726
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: lost so much money this weekend. Literally I lost it,

727
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 1: like it fell out of my wallet. I if I

728
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: thought about all the money I've lost, not just like

729
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: no gambling or lost it on a bad deal, literally

730
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 1: fell on the floor or got was in my pockets

731
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: and I sent it away for laundry, and gratefully, I've

732
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: had really honest laundry people in my life that have

733
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: found hundred dollar bills from When I get these gigs,

734
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 1: I just like they pay me on the spot and

735
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 1: I just put I don't want my personal me put

736
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 1: in my back pocket. I forget to check it and

737
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: they've put in a little bag and then and I

738
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: eventually like give it to them because I'm like, you

739
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: were returning, that's so or whatever. But um, I lose

740
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 1: money all the time. I lose credit cards all the time.

741
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: I'm just I lost those chips the other night. Essentially,

742
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: cash is like a gift certificate, you know, like there's

743
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: no more gift certificates. There's just gift cards. Remember you

744
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: used to go to a place and they have to

745
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 1: write concursive on it and it's a big looks like

746
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: a big check that you would win with if you

747
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: get the latto almost that. I always just say that

748
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 1: Canadian money was a gift card, was a gift certificate

749
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: to buy things in Canada. I always look at it

750
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: doesn't even look like real money to me. I'm just

751
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: like I need to spend this while I'm here on

752
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 1: something in this big store that is Canada. But that's

753
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: what cash is now in America. Yes, yes, feels like

754
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 1: it feels like monopoly. It doesn't even feel real, doesn't

755
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like you can convert it to the

756
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: numbers that you see in your bank account, even though

757
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 1: that money is not real, although it feels really good

758
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 1: because you don't hold it a lot, because you don't

759
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: have a magazine in your hand like when you Actually

760
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 1: I was holding on that hundred the other day and

761
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: I was like, this feels nice. I forgot this tangible

762
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: thing like Venmo. You just here's fifty bucks? Did I

763
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: was that even like that's why bitcoin and cryptocurrency to

764
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,839
Speaker 1: the thing because no one I spend so much more

765
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: money because I just do Apple Pay and I go,

766
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: I don't even bring my wallet anywhere anymore. I literally

767
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: just bring my phone and I go click, click, double,

768
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: and then and it does it and it doesn't feel

769
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: like anything. And if I walked into the kitchen and

770
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: you had an actual newspaper and you were like folding, yeah,

771
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: I'd be like, what the funk are you doing? That's

772
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: what cash is now? Yes, it's yeah, it's absolutely I

773
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: hank you up your sleeve. No, millennial did that? Are

774
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 1: these magicians how to getting bills through the through the mail? Oh? Yeah,

775
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: I literally haven't checked the mail. I've said literally a

776
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,479
Speaker 1: lot today, but I literally haven't checked our mail in months. Yeah,

777
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 1: there's stuff in there for you. I'll bring it up. Yeah.

778
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever paid a paper bill in

779
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: my life. And they scare me, scare me so much.

780
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: I what I do is I put them on the

781
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: side and I go, I'll open it later than I

782
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: and then I wait until it's so late that it

783
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, and then I and then I've flipped it

784
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: over and written down a note that to myself and

785
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: never opened the directions to a place. Yeah, dude, one

786
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: time I kept ignoring this bill from a hospital, and

787
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 1: it was like eating me up and inside because I

788
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 1: couldn't open it and see how much. Because I thought

789
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 1: it was gonna be hundreds of thousands of dollars. I

790
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: ignored this thing for seven months. Five dollars. You just

791
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 1: couldn't even look at it. So often the things we're

792
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: similar and like kind of those like weird, like what

793
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: we like are afraid of? Go to my email anymore.

794
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: My email is turning into my mailbox where I just go.

795
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: There's some days where I'm just like I used to

796
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: love my email. It's just only good news, only cool things,

797
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 1: and now it is just it's just it's bills. It's

798
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: not even bills, but it's just like things that are

799
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: going to take your time and money to account for

800
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: and people are waiting, um, and it's it's yeah, it's

801
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: it's a bad habit to be scared of these things.

802
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,439
Speaker 1: And I always remember that book The Tools that I read.

803
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,879
Speaker 1: One chapter of the first tool was fear. The first

804
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: tool was to be excited about fear. So whenever I'm

805
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: like scared about doing something, I go, I love fear.

806
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: Fear makes me stronger. I can't wait, bring it on.

807
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: I do the mantra that that thing taught me, and

808
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 1: I think about how much I like love the fear,

809
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 1: and then it makes you just throw yourself into it

810
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: a little bit more. But it takes so long to

811
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: get there. Do you like that? I remember that one

812
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 1: chapter we both kind of skimmed yeah, And it talked

813
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: about though, how you gotta say what your fear is like,

814
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 1: literally verbalize what's the worst, what are you afraid of

815
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: and verbalize it and like get to know it, like

816
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: so for that and learn to love it and realize that,

817
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: like I actually love what I bring it on, and

818
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,479
Speaker 1: you're supposed to say, bring it on. I love fear.

819
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 1: Fear sets me free. Bring it on. That's what you're

820
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: supposed to say, over and over until you believe it.

821
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: And it actually works for me to edit my special

822
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,280
Speaker 1: back in the day, writing lists with pen and paper.

823
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: You do that, Um, yeah, I make it to do list.

824
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: It really makes me. I when I do to do

825
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: list before I go to bed, you're supposed to do

826
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 1: six tasks on it, because that's that's all you should

827
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: be able to get done in a day at most, Like,

828
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 1: don't give yourself more than six. And then whatever you

829
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: don't get done, um, add those those come at the

830
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: top of your list. You should put them in order

831
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: of importance. And whatever you don't get done, those go

832
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: to the top of your list the next day, and

833
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 1: then you make six again. And it's just for some

834
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: reason that helps me get stuff on so much more

835
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: than literally anything, more than a deadline, more than someone

836
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,399
Speaker 1: texting me, hey can you send this? Having a list

837
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: and being able to cross it out. And I've never

838
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: made a list in my life, really never in my life. Man,

839
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: I know you've never made a list of like the

840
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: top forty comics to watch, but like, you've never written

841
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: a list. I'm sorry, I'm just um wait, you've never

842
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: made a list. Yeah, I've never written I've never written

843
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 1: down a list. One time I made a list of

844
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: like every guy I've ever hooked up with. That's fun,

845
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: that's I would just write down unknown, a list of

846
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: your favorite Um, that's a good joke, Unknown sixty times.

847
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: That's so funny. And then Brenna um zip patch, Hey, Chad, No,

848
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 1: she knows I love her and she's one of the

849
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 1: most beautiful people I've ever seen in person. Um, why

850
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: don't you make a list of you have nothing to

851
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: do with it? Um, why don't you make a list?

852
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 1: You had nothing to do with her creation? It's not true,

853
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 1: my father, Oh dear, I'm sure that gets said in

854
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: bed sometimes. Um let's get okay. But I love lest Yeah, No,

855
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: I like going through these though. I feel like we

856
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: can you make a list someday. Well, Top one bottom

857
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: woman is a list, and sometimes you make that. We're

858
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: gonna do a top one bottom one today, let's get

859
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 1: to the next. Uh. Two, I'm so sick of this two.

860
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 1: You ever know, if you ever hear Andrews say two,

861
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 1: it's it's an inside joke that him and Brenna have together.

862
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: It's a cute, like you know, the couples have like

863
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 1: cute things. I think it's adorable when they do it together.

864
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll do it to me and I go, no, no,

865
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 1: this is you and Brenn. Don't bring me into two,

866
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: and don't bring it on our show unless you want

867
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: to give it to us. But I feel like it's

868
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: your thing. Yeah. True, we have true. We have yam

869
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: where with something you say yam. We have chacom, which

870
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: is a chicken cone plays down the street. We just

871
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 1: combined it the con that's cute and we got Oh.

872
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: We can't wait for this relationship to end. Um. I'm

873
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: so glad she's moving to Chicago so you can totally

874
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: stop making these words up and sharing them with us. No,

875
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: I think it's really cute. Yesterday, I the person that

876
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 1: I'm kind of talking to. Uh, we were working on

877
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,720
Speaker 1: a cross word together and it was like a sounded.

878
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 1: It was like the clue was like a sounded dog,

879
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: Me sounded dog and it ended up being r. It

880
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: was three letters arf. It ended up being arf. But

881
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: it could be like you know that, it could be

882
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: it could be yip that was three letters yeah, but

883
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: bark b r K. No, it wouldn't be that because

884
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,479
Speaker 1: it would be actually a word. So but he wrote

885
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: down w u F as in wolf, and I just

886
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: thought that was the cutest thing. Like, if like anyone

887
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: else did it that I didn't think was an adorable man,

888
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: I would just be like, you idiot wolf. But I

889
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: was just like, that's so cute. You think what was

890
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: spilled w uf and so I like dog could have

891
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: a speech impediment. It's so cute. It's just so funny,

892
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: the things like if you like someone like the things

893
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: they do as like adorable versus if you did it,

894
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 1: I'd be like, Andrew, you don't know what wolf is? Yeah,

895
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: you get. I wouldn't be like that's so cute. Maybe

896
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: I want I don't know. I'm trying to be nicer

897
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: to you. I am. I'm almost trying to be a

898
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: nicer person, all right. They called me a lobster lady.

899
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 1: Virginia or Jenny is a hundred and one years old

900
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: and maybe the oldest person in the world, lobster and

901
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: hundred and one getting out on the boat every day.

902
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: And she said, I usually stirring. Is that really the verb? Yeah? Okay,

903
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: and she goes, I usually get up quarter of five.

904
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: That sex move we talked about in that Kama Sutra

905
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: day the lobstering a hot bath and you scream and

906
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: you put rubber bands around your hants and you inside

907
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 1: a restaurant. Yeah, oh man, I usually get up a

908
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: quarter of five, piling into the old ford and drive

909
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 1: the wind and road to al Main one. I do

910
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 1: like this her seventy eight year old son. Like, I

911
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: just love when people have kids that are eight. Like

912
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,919
Speaker 1: it's like when my grandma had a boyfriend and would

913
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: be like Grandma's boyfriend. It was just like combining an

914
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: old and young thing, like someone's oh you know her

915
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:25,240
Speaker 1: taught Winston because three, she's got a little one running around.

916
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: How long do you want to work? But that's what

917
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: I was thinking about when I was reading this. I

918
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 1: was like, I could see Nikki has a hundred and

919
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: five being like, my pussy is a dusty Yeah, you know,

920
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: well that changed. I definitely want to be funny till

921
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: the end. But I just I just know that when

922
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: you get older, you get less funny because you're cognitively

923
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 1: like not as much there. So I still want to

924
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 1: be working, and like, I just want to be happy.

925
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: So if work still makes me as happy, I'll still

926
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: be working. This weekend when I did UM, I went

927
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 1: to Florida on on Friday for a Saturday show. I

928
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 1: was doing a private birthday party, which I didn't know

929
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: that I was going to enjoy because it was beach

930
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 1: such a hell gigs. But it was in Palm Beach

931
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: at my old the old stomp grounds, uh where you

932
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: just used to stomp around you were angry. Boy. It

933
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 1: was a really nice section where like the only stores

934
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: are like Gucci and Versace and like uh and like yeah,

935
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:26,240
Speaker 1: all just like the highest end stuff. Like just who's

936
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: buying this ship right now? Like it's so funny to

937
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: me that stores. I wouldn't sex fith Avenue because I

938
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: was getting Starbucks at the near where I was staying

939
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,959
Speaker 1: and I walked past Sacks and it was like early

940
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 1: in the morning on Saturday, and I was like, oh,

941
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: maybe I could find it dress for tonight or just

942
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: like browse around these places that you know, sell four

943
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: shoes that are like that's the cheapest shoe they sell,

944
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 1: and like all these nice clothes. These places are embarrassing

945
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: to go in now because it's like everything must go.

946
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 1: Things we're seventy pc off because no one likes luxury

947
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: anymore because it's right now with way the world is.

948
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: I think there's like just a vibe of like having

949
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: things that are luxury is kind of not in like

950
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 1: it's it's more in to do like up cycled things

951
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: and to like less is more. It's not like abundance. Yeah,

952
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 1: like that was more like nineties two thousands, like you know,

953
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: labels and stuff, and now it's just you go in there.

954
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 1: I mean Barney's close. Barney's was like the hippest place

955
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 1: to shop up until the pandemic and now it shuttered

956
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: its doors and I go into sacks and it's just

957
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 1: like the fact when you keep saying sacks like keeping vision,

958
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 1: that's the place you go to get ball skin to

959
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: get Yeah, well they should get into that business because

960
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 1: they they And next to a Gucci bag, have you

961
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: seen that backpack that looks like a screw um that's

962
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: always on Reddit? It literally looks like a gigantic screwed

963
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 1: um and it's like, yeah, it looks really looks real.

964
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 1: But yeah, so you'll go in there, but didn't you

965
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: buy something? Yeah? I bought a lot of stuff because

966
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: it was all marked down like crazy. I bought so

967
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: much stuff. I bought um And I loved stopping there

968
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: because I've never stopped at Sex because it's like an old,

969
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 1: rich woman's store. And I went in there and really

970
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: like felt like, uh, Julia Roberts, like it sounds like

971
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 1: Florida grew on you a little bit. Yeah, it was nice.

972
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: I mean that was there very short time. What I

973
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 1: was gonna say about the hundred three year old woman

974
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 1: as I was at this birthday party for a guy

975
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 1: as sixty years old. He was a huge fan. His

976
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 1: wife's surprised him by booking me. It was a fifty

977
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 1: person event inside this um banquet hall and they called

978
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: it the Roast of Kevin. Uh. I don't want to

979
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 1: say the guy's last name, but his whole family was there,

980
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 1: and I asked if they wanted me to roast him

981
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: when I initially got booked for this, because that would

982
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: be very easy. I would just write a bunch of

983
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 1: jokes and then have him on a paper and read

984
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: them and have a good time, and they'd be specific

985
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 1: for him. But they were like, no, just do material.

986
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: He just wants material. And I get there and there's

987
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: a sign that says the Roast of Kevin. But it's

988
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,479
Speaker 1: a big face, and I go, why didn't I asked

989
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: if this was a roast. They were like, no, well,

990
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: they're roasting him all weekend. It's like it's a whole

991
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: weekend event. His friends have been roasting him a weekend,

992
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: that's what we called it. That. But we want you

993
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: to do material. I go, yeah, I don't have the

994
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 1: one person who's best at roasting in the world to

995
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: your event. And then, uh, you know what you said yesterday.

996
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: You were like, that'd be like having uh you know,

997
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 1: we got Michael Jordan to come, and uh, we don't

998
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 1: want you to play basketball. We want everyone else to

999
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: play basketball, and for you to do uh, you know,

1000
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: to do a theatrical presentation of Space Jam. It's like, why,

1001
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,799
Speaker 1: I mean that would be great. I mean I would

1002
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: like that better than you know, a demo. Um. But anyway,

1003
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 1: the show was so fun. His mom was there. He

1004
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: wanted me to do the most filthy six material. That's

1005
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: what his wife said. He's he loves oral sex, especially receiving.

1006
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: He like jokes about it. All he does is watch

1007
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: stand up. I I hear your voice all the time.

1008
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. She gave me this amazing and Drew

1009
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 1: I came in surprised everyone. He was just so excited.

1010
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: Um and his nine year old mother was there, who

1011
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: I thought was when to just be in the corner,

1012
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: like dying right or like not really present. She was

1013
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: so with it, had the funniest jokes for me. Afterwards.

1014
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 1: She was like she told all these like me too

1015
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,360
Speaker 1: jokes of like oh honey, I feel like you lived

1016
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 1: these back in the day, Like these are all like

1017
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: jokes about like a dentist assaulting a woman, and like

1018
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 1: it was just like but they were funny, but they

1019
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 1: were just like really like Jesus Christ. Lady. She was

1020
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 1: ninety and she was so I go your spry as fuck,

1021
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: like I love you. I told her that my bucket

1022
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: list would say eat pussy. I asked her what's on

1023
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 1: her bucket list? If we could just bang too out

1024
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 1: that night was like, let's just do it right now.

1025
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: It was she was no, she did it. I probably

1026
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: didn't let her because I was scared of losing control

1027
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: of the crowd. Um, but yeah, it was she was.

1028
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: I just I think that I'll be going that long too.

1029
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: There's something about these old people were also stunning. All

1030
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 1: the women were so stunning. They were all in their

1031
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: like seventies, eighties, and maybe like some were in their

1032
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: late fifties, and they all were going up to me

1033
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,800
Speaker 1: being like, you're too skinny, look at your young and glamours,

1034
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,439
Speaker 1: because I was younger than them, and I'm just like,

1035
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: I can't. I want to look like all of you.

1036
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 1: You look so fucking fancy. These were richly moving into

1037
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 1: a nursing home, now just plastic surgery. They looked I

1038
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: wanted to look like them. I felt like kind of

1039
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 1: embarrassed that I looked, um, not as regal. So I'm

1040
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: I don't know, after seeing all these women that just

1041
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 1: looked really sexy and older and like women that looked

1042
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 1: sexy in their sixties and seventies and eighties, and this

1043
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 1: woman in her nineties was like legit gorgeous and um,

1044
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: it just made me excited. It was fun. So yeah,

1045
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: I'll be lobstering wore. It sounds like it sounds like

1046
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 1: a lot of them are just hanging out by the

1047
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 1: people spending their husband's money on a surprise birthday gift

1048
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 1: for their The the guy whose gift it was he

1049
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: his dad used to own these like stores where he

1050
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: I go, was your He used to own electronic stores

1051
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: and he was known as the cheapest guy in town?

1052
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:54,879
Speaker 1: And I go, was your dad one of those guys

1053
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 1: where like like, Larry, you gotta stop selling all these TVs,

1054
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 1: look at us stopped to death. And he was like yeah,

1055
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:03,280
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's so fun. I always

1056
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: wanted my dad to be the commercial guy in down.

1057
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 1: I was like that, and I go, I'm glad that. Um,

1058
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 1: I go, I bet you inherited his jeans. And so

1059
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 1: I'm glad your wife booked me. And You're gonna be

1060
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: very upset with how much I'm getting for this. Was like,

1061
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: she really spent your and she was like, girl, And

1062
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: I asked her if she was good at oral sex

1063
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: and she was like, how do you think I paid

1064
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: for all of this? She was like very open about

1065
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: like yeah, it was great. Next story or are we

1066
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: doing top one? Why do we care? Why do I care. Uh.

1067
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 1: An eighteen year old is going to space with Jeff

1068
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 1: Bezos tomorrow, taking the place of an auction winner who

1069
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 1: would purchase the ticket in the auction for twenty eight

1070
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: million dollars, but then no longer could attend because of

1071
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 1: scheduling conduct conflicts. Do you get a refund on this?

1072
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: He goes on the next he said, needs to do

1073
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:50,919
Speaker 1: enough future one. I think he got scared. I think

1074
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 1: he got space feet. What could that have been? He's like,

1075
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 1: they can only give me an unsuper cuts at four

1076
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: o'clock on Friday, so I have to cancel the That's

1077
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 1: how rich these motherfucker's are that a guy could spend

1078
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 1: twenty eight million dollars ago. I got a A thing

1079
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 1: I think he got scared is their cancelation fee. Like

1080
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: you gotta pay ten million because we had to reschedule. Like,

1081
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 1: and so an eighteen year olds going in this place?

1082
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 1: What did the eighteen year old do? So the eighteen

1083
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: year old has an only fans where she blows basis, no, no, no,

1084
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 1: it's an eighteen year old who's the son of of

1085
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: a guy, this capital guy who's like a billionaire as well,

1086
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 1: who bought a seat decided to give it to his son,

1087
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,360
Speaker 1: because I think he got scared. He doesn't care for

1088
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: his son dies to pass rigorous physical tests to go

1089
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 1: up there to the other the other guy's eighty two

1090
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: this pilot or eighty one year old man. Wow, yeah,

1091
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 1: um so an eighteen year old who has a rich

1092
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: dad is going to space. Yeah, I would not want

1093
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 1: to go to space. If someone goes, Nick, you want

1094
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 1: to go to space, I would pass. I have a

1095
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,760
Speaker 1: couple of things with space that I just don't understand.

1096
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:57,399
Speaker 1: Number one, okay, take air airplane travel for instance, right

1097
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 1: in the twenties thirtiest in the fifties was like whoa,

1098
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 1: and it was expensive, and it was like regal, and

1099
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: people would look out the window and be like, oh

1100
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 1: my god, there's Tom's house or whatever. And nowadays we

1101
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: close our shade. We don't give a fuck, especially the

1102
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: higher we get, the quicker shade goes down that it's space.

1103
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 1: By the time it gets cheap enough for people like

1104
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: me or you or whatever, like where maybe you'll get

1105
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,479
Speaker 1: on before me. But uh yeah, you gotta I gotta

1106
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 1: move a hair appoint in it, yea. But my point

1107
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: is is, by the time it's there, we'll get the space.

1108
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 1: You're barely outside the earth. You're gonna be like, oh

1109
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 1: that's a star, like I'd rather watch Avengers on my phone.

1110
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna close the shade, like we're not gonna care.

1111
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 1: So it's like where these billionaires that are like we're,

1112
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 1: we're it's like the initial, right, brother, they're trying to

1113
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:46,760
Speaker 1: like be like the ripe. You're not the ripe brothers.

1114
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: You're just like rich and going to a place what

1115
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: we uset about it? Though, I'm confused because because they're

1116
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 1: saying it like, oh, I'm doing this so then poorer

1117
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 1: people can go up one day, Yeah that's what or

1118
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 1: like you dream I dreamed as Richard Branson. Awesome. My

1119
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,919
Speaker 1: other thing is is we went to fucking the moon

1120
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 1: sixty years ago and these billionaires are like, we bare

1121
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 1: they barely got outside space. And my point is is like,

1122
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 1: tell me when they get to Pluto and open a

1123
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 1: cheesecake factory right with a smaller menu, that's what I want.

1124
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 1: So you are sold on space just because it's space,

1125
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 1: like you would be up But when you think it's

1126
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 1: cool to be up there and look out the window

1127
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: or now, don't you think if you ask someone fifty

1128
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: years ago. Can you imagine things become ubiquitous? We don't

1129
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 1: think there is cool anymore. I mean like black and

1130
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,800
Speaker 1: white teeth. But so when you get excited about anything,

1131
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: so you just go, why am I excited? Because eventually

1132
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be as excited. I mean a

1133
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 1: new relationship in the Honeyman phase, you're like, oh my god, right,

1134
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 1: brothers were up in this. We're like, but then does

1135
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: that mean they don't get in relationships because that's gonna

1136
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 1: fade because it's always going to fade. The initial awe

1137
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 1: of anything will always fade over time. Okay, so then yeah,

1138
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: so then take space travel sixty years ago, we landed

1139
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 1: on the Moon, right, So why are we excited again

1140
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 1: because a billionaire went up there? Because it was like

1141
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: a more of a jet kind of plane. Because it's

1142
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: becoming something that people can do that aren't in NASA,

1143
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 1: and it's becoming you know, I mean, it's still insanely exclusive.

1144
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm just saying

1145
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: like it are I don't care? Like I literally don't care.

1146
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know what they're doing up there? Are

1147
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: they just going to look at the Earth from that end,

1148
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 1: go to Imax Theater. It's eleven minutes. He's flying, He's

1149
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 1: getting barely outside into space and then coming right back.

1150
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 1: Um is he okay? Is that so? What is he

1151
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 1: even doing up there? He's gonna go He's gonna float

1152
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: for two minutes and then be like, dude, Oh I

1153
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 1: did it for every American. Give me, Give every American

1154
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 1: a million dollars. Give everyone that works in your factories

1155
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 1: a pea break for forty more seconds, and two of

1156
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: them space one time. Yeah. Yeah, um, I will say.

1157
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:01,440
Speaker 1: The other day I ordered something on Amazon Prime, and

1158
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 1: I swear to god, I got a parcel notification like

1159
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 1: five minutes later of like a parcel in it. There

1160
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 1: was a part of me that it was just part

1161
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 1: of me goes, wow, we're there. It literally just like

1162
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: it's gonna be there at some point where it's just

1163
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: gonna be like tubes that send things from factories and

1164
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,919
Speaker 1: none of us will. It'll all be machines. I am

1165
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: waiting for the day when the machines take over, when

1166
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 1: they just turn on us, because they said that when

1167
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: it happens, it's your bedroom already. It's gonna be dude,

1168
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 1: I think. But Amazon has all these commercials now where

1169
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: they're like trying to show that their workers are so

1170
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 1: happen like honey, bunch of votes factory with like we're

1171
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: making serial and it's like a happy black woman. It's like, no,

1172
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 1: this woman is peeing into it was all disabled people.

1173
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 1: Another commercial the other day of Amazon workers we have

1174
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 1: disabled people were good, We're a forklift of dildos. Boxes

1175
00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 1: of dildos fell on them in a factory because they

1176
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:01,640
Speaker 1: were trying to meet their quote of they have little

1177
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: timers on them. That's why they were disabled. I mean, yeah,

1178
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 1: every company tries to be like, look how green we are,

1179
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 1: even ones that are like eggs on valid you know,

1180
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: we're throwing oil. Oh the dawn soap we help birds

1181
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 1: clean up. One bird gets oil wiped off of it,

1182
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 1: and we're like, oh my god, they are so eco friendly.

1183
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 1: If I buy down soap, ducks are going to be saved.

1184
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 1: And it's just like what this. I mean it's the

1185
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: same thing of when you buy celsius because it says

1186
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: it burns fat, like you just believe whatever. Oh yeah,

1187
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 1: that's right, okay, different reason. All right, let's get to

1188
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: top one bottom one. Every Monday, we list the top one,

1189
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 1: bottom one thing of a category. Minoah and Andrew are

1190
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: today going to say our top one bottom one jobs jobs,

1191
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 1: and they know it's not gonna be Steve jobs or

1192
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 1: blow jobs. These are employment positions we've had in our lives.

1193
00:59:56,440 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 1: Bottom job you've had in your life, be like, fuck,

1194
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 1: you can't do those. Bottom job has to be me

1195
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: working as a fish truck drive, a lobster fish truck driver.

1196
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 1: It was actually a place called lobster Place. I lost

1197
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 1: all my money. I moved to New York to be

1198
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 1: a screenwriter. I took one screenwriting class in New York,

1199
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: and my whole family was like, you gotta have a career.

1200
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: You've got to get a job. There were no jobs.

1201
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 1: Everything was destitute, probably two thousand eight seven. So my

1202
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 1: family is all a bunch of you know, rich Jewish people.

1203
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 1: I thought, you moved out of Florida after the market crash,

1204
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,920
Speaker 1: so it's got to be you know that was two right,

1205
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 1: that's two thousand five. I thought, okay, you lost millions

1206
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: of dollars in that crash, and you don't remember what

1207
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: year it was, was very very umous. I take it

1208
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: out of my mind. Did you hear that. So long

1209
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: story short, I get I take a job to be

1210
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: like fuck you, I could a blue collar job. You

1211
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 1: guys can't do this ship. It's kind of like you

1212
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: with your dad, like I'm gonna save this dog. I

1213
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck fuck you mom and dad. And

1214
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: I took this job where I added a bronx. I

1215
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 1: had to leave at five in the morning. My brother

1216
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: knew the owner of the play so I even still

1217
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 1: need a family to get brother. But can you call

1218
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 1: your friend? Yeah, d that's so jeb jeb lobsters. And

1219
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: so I end up having added a hunt's point you

1220
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,320
Speaker 1: know how far. That's like an hour and thirty minutes

1221
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: on the train at six in the morning to drive

1222
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 1: a fish truck. I wore again like a button down.

1223
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 1: I gave him a resume with my college degree. Everyone

1224
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: thought I was in like, uh, like you know cover

1225
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,160
Speaker 1: boss that drew that dressed overcover, you know, like it

1226
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 1: was some woman a fish truck delivering fish when you

1227
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 1: were a fishmonger. That was when I got a raise.

1228
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: They put me in the fishmonger store. But we would

1229
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 1: drive the fish truck. We had to cure like a

1230
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: hundred pounds of fish down the stairs, like that's what, Like,

1231
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 1: that's what someone's doing that right now? And drive I

1232
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 1: know I've seen that before where they show up and

1233
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 1: then they carry all the fish down. Yeah. And I

1234
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 1: would back on the train and homeless people would move

1235
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 1: away from me. I was just smelled like a fucking

1236
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 1: like like like you were definitely not doing your laundry

1237
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 1: often this is the time in your life when you

1238
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 1: were not taking care of yourself. So what what would

1239
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 1: you do with your clothes? You just buy new ones? No,

1240
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 1: I just would just I just turned in the sea creature.

1241
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: Did you have friends at the time? Are you doing

1242
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: stand up for people? Like before? This is when I

1243
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 1: was doing screenwriting classes. What I don't even know about

1244
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: this time in your life. It's very Oh this is

1245
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,640
Speaker 1: a whole fun time. But yes, that was my worst

1246
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 1: job because dude, one time I was I was in

1247
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: the fish truck and the guy looks over to me

1248
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 1: and he got sick. He was like throwing up out

1249
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: the window and he's like, you drive here to captain now,

1250
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: pretty much like I'm driving the truck and I had

1251
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: to drive him to the er. It was why, what

1252
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 1: was the worst part about it? I mean six am

1253
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: on our and thirty minute yeah, our thirty minute commute

1254
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 1: to literally moving to New York to be a writer,

1255
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 1: comedy writer, and now I'm in a fish truck. How

1256
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 1: long did this last? That was three months? And then

1257
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 1: they moved into the fish money and then how long

1258
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 1: did you do that? Like? Six months? Dear God, what

1259
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 1: a terrible time in your life. But you know what,

1260
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 1: I met some great people. Okay, good, Okay, well maybe

1261
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: not so bad. No, what was your bottom job? Okay,

1262
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 1: this happens to be the only job I've ever gotten

1263
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: fired from. It was I was so bad at it.

1264
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: So I worked for a c p A who was

1265
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 1: an accountant and I was the bill collector and I

1266
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: had to call people and get them to pay their

1267
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 1: past debts. And it was the worst and most uncomfortable

1268
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 1: job I've ever had. Sucked at it calling cold calling people,

1269
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: well with your voice, Noah's voice, being like hey it's

1270
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 1: so you know, or we're going to take away your

1271
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: family car. And I did get crushed out. Um, they

1272
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 1: just like ignored me or whatever, and I had to

1273
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: go after him. Then I had to like pretend, um

1274
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 1: like to be like an actual credit company and write

1275
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 1: them a letter and stuff. My god, you know they

1276
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: didn't collect that, but they didn't open that bill. So

1277
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 1: I used to do the reception is for this company too,

1278
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 1: and um then I had to work part time so

1279
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: they were helping me out and they gave me this

1280
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 1: job as like the bill collector. And I remember getting

1281
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: fired and the guy felt so bad for firing me,

1282
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 1: but I was just like, it's okay, I'm really bad

1283
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 1: at this job. Yes, knowing that, like it's okay that

1284
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm not good at this. I don't want to be

1285
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 1: good at this tore me. Yes where they're just they

1286
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 1: politely let you go. Um yeah, I uh that's my

1287
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 1: attempt for a while when I was trying to make

1288
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:05,360
Speaker 1: ends meet in l A and they called. I had

1289
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 1: a tent job that was like the whole week and

1290
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 1: they I think they called me on Wednesday and they

1291
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 1: were like you don't need to go in Thursday and Friday. Um,

1292
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,440
Speaker 1: they're gonna find someone else. I was like, it was

1293
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:17,959
Speaker 1: just I was so bad on phones, like connecting phones.

1294
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:19,920
Speaker 1: But my worst job for sure. You just remind me

1295
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,560
Speaker 1: of I was gonna say it was that one, but

1296
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 1: it's either when I know I always do a million

1297
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:29,600
Speaker 1: of these, but it was it was Oh wait, I

1298
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 1: just lost it. Hold on, let me get it back.

1299
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, babysitting for people who's the parents

1300
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,000
Speaker 1: stay home when you're babysitting for the kid, that is

1301
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 1: fucking If you're someone who has a nanny and you're

1302
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:44,200
Speaker 1: there while the person is there that I know, sometimes

1303
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 1: you have to be there because you're getting work done

1304
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 1: at your home office and the kids are inder the room.

1305
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:50,240
Speaker 1: It just you can't beat the kids when the parents there.

1306
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 1: You can't do You can't eat their snacks as much

1307
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 1: as you want, No, you just can't. Every time the

1308
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: kid gets upset, they go right off to the parents

1309
01:05:57,800 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 1: and then you look like you're failing. But it's just

1310
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 1: like if they know you're there, they're gonna want you,

1311
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: and they're not gonna want the babysitter. But the worst

1312
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:08,000
Speaker 1: job was calling. I worked at the call center at

1313
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 1: KU my College my senior year, uh, the endowment center,

1314
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 1: And you had to call alumni and parents and ask

1315
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,760
Speaker 1: for money to give to the endowment center, money that

1316
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 1: they're already oh for their student loans, they already owe money,

1317
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 1: they already paying for their kids. They're either parents or alumni.

1318
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 1: They're already given so much school and you have to

1319
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: call and ask them. There's an ask ladder and you

1320
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 1: have to start here, and then it's just sales. I

1321
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:31,840
Speaker 1: hate sales any door. My dad made me do a

1322
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 1: door to door cable sales for a summer. I hate

1323
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 1: convincing people to spend money on something I don't believe in.

1324
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 1: I just hate it. I hate it. I remember I

1325
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,240
Speaker 1: had to do door to dude, going up door to door.

1326
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,720
Speaker 1: I I did real estate for you know, a long time,

1327
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,880
Speaker 1: and this guy and we had a new like Boston.

1328
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 1: He made me like go to the person's house and

1329
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 1: be like, hey, do you want to sell your house?

1330
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 1: And the person's like get the fuck out? How much?

1331
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,080
Speaker 1: You know? No, no, no, but like really like it's

1332
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: it feels extremely awkward, doesn't it. When you're walking up

1333
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: It's like a slow walk up the driveway. Yes, the

1334
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 1: idea that you were just trying, it's just your shyster

1335
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 1: like unless I really believe. I don't want anyone to

1336
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: ever spend money on anything unless they wanted. I don't

1337
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 1: want have to convince you. Same with dating. I don't

1338
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 1: want to convince you to like me. Like, I you

1339
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: just gotta do it otherwise I feel like, I'm um,

1340
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 1: I'm lying. Have you tried door to door with I

1341
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:30,960
Speaker 1: mean backdoor to back door because guys always sneak me in?

1342
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,400
Speaker 1: That wasn't an anal joke. Um, I have to write

1343
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,760
Speaker 1: back to this thing right now. So sorry the font

1344
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:42,479
Speaker 1: is so small? Um? Okay, uh best job, top top

1345
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 1: top job, I mean this excluding probably yeah, it has

1346
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:48,880
Speaker 1: to be from our past, I'm thinking, I mean, no,

1347
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:51,480
Speaker 1: not necessarily. The most fun people I ever worked for

1348
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,280
Speaker 1: is when I worked in grilled cheese and I was

1349
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 1: a grilled cheese cashier. Didn't have to great people when

1350
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,720
Speaker 1: they walked in like yeah, like welcome to that's what

1351
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:01,880
Speaker 1: they tried to get me a dude, like welcome to mos,

1352
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:04,760
Speaker 1: Welcome to melt shop. Hey, welcome to milt shop. Yeah.

1353
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:06,040
Speaker 1: Every time you walk into place that hey, when they

1354
01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:09,920
Speaker 1: go welcome and you're just like you don't you just

1355
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 1: hear the door bing and then you just like it's

1356
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:16,360
Speaker 1: like you're on on autopilot. It doesn't feel personal. But

1357
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 1: the people I you know, a lot of these jobs

1358
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 1: that I had later on in life I should have

1359
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:21,640
Speaker 1: had when I was like seventeen and I would have

1360
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,360
Speaker 1: learned about work ethic and making money and stuff. But

1361
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 1: I did it when I was you know, thirty, you know,

1362
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:29,640
Speaker 1: thirty years old. But I took this job when I

1363
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:32,320
Speaker 1: first moved to New York to do stand up. I

1364
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 1: was sleeping on a couch and uh, I knew the

1365
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:37,000
Speaker 1: guy that owned the melt shop and he gave me

1366
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:39,759
Speaker 1: a job. And I was the cashier. But the people

1367
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:42,400
Speaker 1: that worked there, I mean, the job stopped, but what

1368
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:45,040
Speaker 1: they were so funny. I mean this guy day day

1369
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 1: Ron I never told you about day Roun day Ron Wash,

1370
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,160
Speaker 1: this black guy from like Brooklyn who definitely like he

1371
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 1: was just like they say the most outlandish things, or

1372
01:08:57,479 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 1: he would not they you know what I mean. And

1373
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:02,640
Speaker 1: he goes, uh he said to me one time. He goes, um,

1374
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: because you're you drew right, And I go yeah, he goes,

1375
01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:08,680
Speaker 1: you know, I like them jew girls. They got them

1376
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:11,760
Speaker 1: green eyes. He goes, I found them so hard they

1377
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:15,960
Speaker 1: turned black. And I was like their eyes turned black

1378
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:18,559
Speaker 1: because he sucked him so hard with his black penots.

1379
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: And then I go, well, can I have sex with

1380
01:09:21,479 --> 01:09:23,640
Speaker 1: a black girl and make her eyes turned green? He goes, Now,

1381
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:27,760
Speaker 1: you got that jud dick. Black girl's eyes aren't black,

1382
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 1: by the way, Yeah, you I just think about that,

1383
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:38,960
Speaker 1: do you know what I'm saying? Yes, But for you

1384
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 1: saying that the girls, oh gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I

1385
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:44,800
Speaker 1: don't know why they would turn black then, And I

1386
01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:48,360
Speaker 1: mean they would turn black, like their eyes would turn black,

1387
01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 1: or they would as a person would turn black. Their

1388
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:52,960
Speaker 1: eyes would turn black green to black. So you were

1389
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 1: just making a joke that could I change a black

1390
01:09:55,920 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 1: girl's eyes two green eyes? But even though some black, Yes,

1391
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: there's some fallacies in the analogy when I bring it

1392
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,360
Speaker 1: back the other way, and he said, no, you got

1393
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 1: that j dick, So you couldn't do that. Especially my

1394
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:11,000
Speaker 1: dick is too small to turn anyone's eyes any color,

1395
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 1: which is not wrong. Yeah, I mean that this is

1396
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:19,800
Speaker 1: all It's all makes sense why you have the dick thing,

1397
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:22,519
Speaker 1: and this is all only playing into it. Oh yeah,

1398
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 1: the fear of not having a big enough dick. And yeah, yeah,

1399
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:30,760
Speaker 1: but you know my girlfriend said, my dick is good. Yeah,

1400
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's happy. Lesbians don't complain that their girlfriends

1401
01:10:36,439 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 1: don't have a big dick. Is not that important the

1402
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 1: size of your dick. I'm really serious, Like, I don't

1403
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,920
Speaker 1: understand why people go, oh, I need a big dick.

1404
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,240
Speaker 1: I need to have a big dick. It's like, if

1405
01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 1: you're lesbian, do you think that lesbians and women street

1406
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 1: women both like the feeling of something inside that. But

1407
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 1: this guy on sex Life has a long elephant cock.

1408
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:01,280
Speaker 1: It changed his whole life. Yeah, and it. But that's

1409
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,240
Speaker 1: because women don't understand that you can use dildos, and

1410
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:06,680
Speaker 1: they go, it's not warm. There's ones that warm up.

1411
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:09,559
Speaker 1: You're saying. All these women women that are like became

1412
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 1: a fans of this guy not because of his acting,

1413
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 1: because of his long freaking elephant cock. They're just not

1414
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,439
Speaker 1: smart enough to think about if they could date a

1415
01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,519
Speaker 1: guy with small dick and just have the any size

1416
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:22,479
Speaker 1: thing put in them that would feel exactly like that

1417
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:25,040
Speaker 1: guy's dick and actually would feel better. Because you can

1418
01:11:25,120 --> 01:11:29,560
Speaker 1: operate a dildo much easier if you're using here, a

1419
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:32,640
Speaker 1: vibrating dildo, a dildo, whatever you want, you can operate that.

1420
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:35,160
Speaker 1: A guy can operate that on a woman much easier

1421
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:37,600
Speaker 1: than he can with if it's I always give the

1422
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,320
Speaker 1: analogy of like if you're trying to if you have

1423
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:41,639
Speaker 1: a hammer on your dick and you're trying to nail something.

1424
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:44,000
Speaker 1: It would be hard with your body to hit the nail,

1425
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,720
Speaker 1: whereas with your hand it's very dextrous and you can

1426
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,479
Speaker 1: do a lot more things with a dildo than you

1427
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:53,040
Speaker 1: can your deck. But some would say it's it's connected

1428
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:55,560
Speaker 1: to the body, so there's more. There's more. I get it,

1429
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:59,880
Speaker 1: so put it somewhere else and then have the you know,

1430
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 1: have the other stuff. It's just I don't people go Nikki.

1431
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:06,600
Speaker 1: There was because I was, you know, talking about the

1432
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:08,800
Speaker 1: hooking up I've been doing recently. We should do a

1433
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:12,200
Speaker 1: poll on our Instagram. Um, take a pole and shove

1434
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:14,760
Speaker 1: it up your puss because you don't need I'm just

1435
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:17,640
Speaker 1: telling women out there, like, stop this whole thing of Like,

1436
01:12:18,760 --> 01:12:20,880
Speaker 1: even I I blew people's minds the other day when

1437
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:23,120
Speaker 1: I was I was talking about, Um, I blew my

1438
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 1: own mind because I've been like a little bit ashamed

1439
01:12:25,439 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 1: of being someone who's just only doing everything except vaginal sex,

1440
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:33,360
Speaker 1: being like I have that kind of that one kind

1441
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:36,519
Speaker 1: of sex. Every time now I hook up, like five

1442
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:39,680
Speaker 1: times a week, I'm having Yeah, I'm going through the

1443
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:41,760
Speaker 1: back door. And there was a part of me I

1444
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 1: was like, no, that was that time. Um, I think

1445
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,439
Speaker 1: that for a while, even you know, a week ago,

1446
01:12:49,520 --> 01:12:51,040
Speaker 1: I was feeling like, oh my god, that's so like

1447
01:12:51,439 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 1: I'm such a slut, Like that's such a gross thing

1448
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,320
Speaker 1: to do, like that's a special occasion thing, like oh

1449
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,240
Speaker 1: my god, what's wrong with you? And then I was like, wait,

1450
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:00,720
Speaker 1: thinking what about gay men in relationship that have sex

1451
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,439
Speaker 1: five times a week? Would you be would you be

1452
01:13:02,520 --> 01:13:03,920
Speaker 1: weirded of if you found out a gay couple at

1453
01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:06,599
Speaker 1: sex five times a week, you wouldn't go, oh my god,

1454
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,760
Speaker 1: he's having anal sex five times a week. But when

1455
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:10,320
Speaker 1: I say I have anal sex five times a week,

1456
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:13,200
Speaker 1: it's somehow like, oh, she's such a slut. It's like no,

1457
01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:16,640
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean that poop is falling out of

1458
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:17,840
Speaker 1: my ass all the time and that I just have

1459
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:20,360
Speaker 1: a gaping. It's like, none of that is true. If

1460
01:13:20,479 --> 01:13:23,479
Speaker 1: gay men can walk around and not be shipping their

1461
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:26,040
Speaker 1: pants constantly, it doesn't change anything about you to have

1462
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,200
Speaker 1: more animal sex than that could be. Why you like

1463
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:32,120
Speaker 1: a small penis thought, No, No, I like a big

1464
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:35,840
Speaker 1: penis actually, but I like uh I but that doesn't

1465
01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:39,760
Speaker 1: mean anything to any of my partners Back now, you

1466
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:43,680
Speaker 1: like a big penis. I like big things in me,

1467
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:45,400
Speaker 1: but it needs to be it could be a dildo,

1468
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:48,680
Speaker 1: but I like big stuff, but I don't need it

1469
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:51,360
Speaker 1: to be the man's penis that's operating the things that

1470
01:13:51,439 --> 01:13:53,479
Speaker 1: they could. So if a man has a big dick,

1471
01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:57,120
Speaker 1: then he's coming with something that you like. But a

1472
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,120
Speaker 1: guy with a small penis can bring things in a

1473
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:01,080
Speaker 1: bag that I like way more than a dick that's

1474
01:14:01,120 --> 01:14:02,760
Speaker 1: connected to a guy, because sometimes you don't want a

1475
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:09,760
Speaker 1: big dick. And then ordered so many toys online to

1476
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 1: get good stuff. So my up your best job was,

1477
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:17,960
Speaker 1: and we know what my best job is? Now, No,

1478
01:14:18,280 --> 01:14:21,439
Speaker 1: what was your best job? Am I allowed to say radio?

1479
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,679
Speaker 1: Or are we going before that? Okay? So definitely working

1480
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 1: on You Up was my favorite job ever. And I

1481
01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:32,679
Speaker 1: say it because you know, uh, when I worked in radio,

1482
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,080
Speaker 1: I had a lot of fun jobs and I really

1483
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,960
Speaker 1: really love working in radio. But when I started working

1484
01:14:38,280 --> 01:14:41,200
Speaker 1: on a show called You Up with Nikki Glazer, I

1485
01:14:41,320 --> 01:14:43,799
Speaker 1: feel like all the parts that I loved in radio

1486
01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:47,000
Speaker 1: were there. And then also there was a lot more

1487
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,680
Speaker 1: um fun stuff and like bonuses added where it was

1488
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:53,320
Speaker 1: like I loved a percent of my job. There was

1489
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:55,479
Speaker 1: no part of it where I was like dreading or

1490
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,400
Speaker 1: like oh I gotta get this done. I love that. Yeah,

1491
01:14:58,479 --> 01:15:00,360
Speaker 1: I felt the same way. And we've put all of

1492
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:03,439
Speaker 1: that into this obviously, and um yeah, it just all

1493
01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:05,560
Speaker 1: felt like it came together. And I always felt that

1494
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:08,000
Speaker 1: from you two of like you were always just having

1495
01:15:08,040 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 1: a great time and really grateful for the experience, as

1496
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:13,280
Speaker 1: was I, And um yeah. If I take out doing

1497
01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:17,160
Speaker 1: podcasting as a job in radio, my best job was

1498
01:15:17,479 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 1: f Boy Island. Like it was just working in reality

1499
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,920
Speaker 1: being myself on camera, not having to memorize lines, being

1500
01:15:24,960 --> 01:15:28,400
Speaker 1: able to be funny, while also hosting a reality show,

1501
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:32,000
Speaker 1: which is my favorite kind of uh thing to to watch.

1502
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 1: It was just the perfect show. It was like my

1503
01:15:35,040 --> 01:15:37,360
Speaker 1: perfect job, and I was in paradise, I was on location.

1504
01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:39,439
Speaker 1: It's a different world. You get to meet new people

1505
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:42,280
Speaker 1: and be on this like cast with people, but there's

1506
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:45,240
Speaker 1: again no memorizing lines. I'm doing something I'm extremely good at,

1507
01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:48,599
Speaker 1: which is hosting mixed with uh. I just was any

1508
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:50,200
Speaker 1: job where you just feel comfortable and you don't go

1509
01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:52,360
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for today, what am I gonna do?

1510
01:15:52,600 --> 01:15:54,120
Speaker 1: And then when it's over, you go, God, I just

1511
01:15:54,160 --> 01:15:56,040
Speaker 1: want to hang out. Every time we would wrap, I

1512
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,840
Speaker 1: would wrap and I'd go like, I don't want to

1513
01:15:57,880 --> 01:15:59,320
Speaker 1: go back to that. I just want to keep hanging

1514
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:03,639
Speaker 1: at work. It's like summer and you don't age there. Yeah,

1515
01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:09,679
Speaker 1: it really is all right. Well, let's get the final thought.

1516
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,760
Speaker 1: Um I wanted to tell you that last night I

1517
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:17,080
Speaker 1: went on Bumble because I'm um my. I convinced my

1518
01:16:17,160 --> 01:16:19,439
Speaker 1: friend to go on Bumble. She's someone that has been like,

1519
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:21,519
Speaker 1: I don't want to go on the dating apps. I'm

1520
01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:23,080
Speaker 1: never gonna go. They're not for me. And I'm just like,

1521
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:26,080
Speaker 1: stop this, that's not interesting. I'm so tired of people

1522
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:29,320
Speaker 1: saying I don't do I can't do them. It's like, oh, really,

1523
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:31,280
Speaker 1: does do you think anyone ever wants to go on

1524
01:16:31,360 --> 01:16:34,200
Speaker 1: dating apps? Everyone has felt that way. Stop it. Stop

1525
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:36,479
Speaker 1: being like no, but you don't understand me. I'm different.

1526
01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:39,519
Speaker 1: I can't go on those. It's so embarrassing. Everyone feels

1527
01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:41,880
Speaker 1: that way. Just bite the bullet into It's the only

1528
01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:44,320
Speaker 1: way to meet people. This girl isn't going out in socializing.

1529
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:47,960
Speaker 1: She's because of COVID and where she lives. There in

1530
01:16:48,080 --> 01:16:50,519
Speaker 1: places to go. I go the app. It's the only

1531
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:53,040
Speaker 1: and I know you're scared people in your town will

1532
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,519
Speaker 1: see you on it, but they're on it if they

1533
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:57,120
Speaker 1: see you, so there's nothing to be ashamed of. Just

1534
01:16:57,360 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 1: do it. So she finally signed up yesterday. I got

1535
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,600
Speaker 1: to her and UM, and I go, you know what,

1536
01:17:02,640 --> 01:17:04,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to swipe too, because it is fun to

1537
01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:05,599
Speaker 1: swipe and to see what's out there. And I started

1538
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,639
Speaker 1: swiping in St. Louis. I found a guy who looks

1539
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:12,679
Speaker 1: exactly like a guy that I was once in love with. Like, literally,

1540
01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:14,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to show you this person and you tell

1541
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,920
Speaker 1: me how much they look like the person. It is

1542
01:17:17,560 --> 01:17:21,559
Speaker 1: honestly insane. Wait, what's going on here? This update my profile?

1543
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:25,840
Speaker 1: No says I'm three ft? No do I work out?

1544
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:29,040
Speaker 1: Skip all this ship? I just sent him three feet

1545
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:30,559
Speaker 1: on here and they're not gonna believe and you don't

1546
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:36,120
Speaker 1: work out? Wait? What did I just said I was

1547
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:37,840
Speaker 1: a weird religion. I think I just said I was

1548
01:17:37,960 --> 01:17:42,759
Speaker 1: not a weird religion, but not my religion. You okay,

1549
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:45,040
Speaker 1: look at this guy, he wrote back to me. I

1550
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:48,120
Speaker 1: can't even read what he wrote. I'm nervous. Um, look

1551
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,599
Speaker 1: at this guy's picture and you tell me this isn't

1552
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:52,560
Speaker 1: the St. Louis version of someone I was once in

1553
01:17:52,640 --> 01:17:57,280
Speaker 1: love with. Keep going, keep going on it, go down

1554
01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:01,960
Speaker 1: his name? Can say his name? Yea Andrew? Yeah? Yeah,

1555
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:05,280
Speaker 1: I mean that insane. How much that looks like someone

1556
01:18:05,400 --> 01:18:10,200
Speaker 1: from my past, like identical, and I'm horny for him.

1557
01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:11,880
Speaker 1: I don't even know this guy, and this guy is

1558
01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:14,439
Speaker 1: not someone I generally be attracted to, But because I

1559
01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:17,680
Speaker 1: was attracted to the spirit behind the person that this

1560
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:20,600
Speaker 1: guy reminds me of, I am now projecting all of

1561
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:23,200
Speaker 1: that onto him, and I'm going to actually have closure.

1562
01:18:23,479 --> 01:18:25,360
Speaker 1: I wrote the guy, can I can I go to it?

1563
01:18:25,680 --> 01:18:27,800
Speaker 1: Did you already read what I wrote? No? I'm just

1564
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:32,840
Speaker 1: amazed by how much he looks like he's Like I said, Hi,

1565
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,520
Speaker 1: you're one of the best looking men at St. Louis. Congrats.

1566
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,519
Speaker 1: That was my intro and bubble He didn't often because

1567
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:43,200
Speaker 1: he's he's not traditionally that handsome, But to you, I

1568
01:18:43,240 --> 01:18:45,280
Speaker 1: said in St. Louis. Yeah, I said, you're one of

1569
01:18:45,280 --> 01:18:47,160
Speaker 1: the best looking men in St. Louis. Congrats. I think

1570
01:18:47,160 --> 01:18:51,280
Speaker 1: that's a good intro. No, is that too much? Be honest?

1571
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:57,639
Speaker 1: I like it's cute. It's obviously not like he said, thanks,

1572
01:18:57,720 --> 01:18:59,280
Speaker 1: But most of my friends say, I just take a

1573
01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:01,200
Speaker 1: good picture. Maybe be meat for a drink sometime if

1574
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:03,400
Speaker 1: you're If you'd like to weigh in on the debate.

1575
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,679
Speaker 1: I like that he does any drinks, but I'll watch

1576
01:19:07,760 --> 01:19:09,479
Speaker 1: him drink. I'm definitely gonna meet up with this guy.

1577
01:19:10,439 --> 01:19:13,200
Speaker 1: He's so cute. He looks exactly like that guy. I'm

1578
01:19:13,240 --> 01:19:14,800
Speaker 1: not gonna tell him that, but it might be. We'll

1579
01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:19,400
Speaker 1: hear this um an umbrella and um okay, we've got

1580
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:26,080
Speaker 1: to go at the well. Thank you, stop it, guys,

1581
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:28,000
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this show this week.

1582
01:19:28,280 --> 01:19:30,160
Speaker 1: They're always on Breddit being like what are these fashion

1583
01:19:30,240 --> 01:19:32,439
Speaker 1: xt mean? What are they trying? And it means nothing

1584
01:19:32,800 --> 01:19:35,000
Speaker 1: you guys, I didn't. I mean there's stuff here and there,

1585
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:37,439
Speaker 1: but I'll it will all be revealed at some point.

1586
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:39,439
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to the show today.

1587
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:42,040
Speaker 1: We have a great week lined up for you. I'm

1588
01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:44,160
Speaker 1: going to reconnect with an X on one of the

1589
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:48,160
Speaker 1: episodes this week. Right no, uh, yes, uh, sat tuned

1590
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:51,040
Speaker 1: for that. Yes, we're gonna have a listener mail as

1591
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:53,320
Speaker 1: we always do. On Thursday tomorrow. We will have a

1592
01:19:53,479 --> 01:19:55,280
Speaker 1: Reddit dump. I've got some good stuff for you. And

1593
01:19:55,360 --> 01:19:56,760
Speaker 1: Andrew will be here all week and we're gonna be

1594
01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:58,639
Speaker 1: here in St. Louis together and I can't wait. Thank

1595
01:19:58,680 --> 01:20:01,639
Speaker 1: you for listening, besties. Uh follow us on Instagram, Nikki

1596
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:04,200
Speaker 1: Glaser Pod. It's private, so you'll have to be request

1597
01:20:04,280 --> 01:20:09,080
Speaker 1: access and UM rate and review on whatever podcast thing

1598
01:20:09,280 --> 01:20:13,200
Speaker 1: you listening to. Um. Do you listen to podcasts on

1599
01:20:13,360 --> 01:20:18,160
Speaker 1: a Spotify? Oh? You do Spotify? Okay, I do Apple podcasts,

1600
01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:20,080
Speaker 1: but I think I'm going to try like Stitcher one

1601
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:23,200
Speaker 1: of those I don't even know anymore, or maybe the

1602
01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:26,280
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio the I Heart app, which is a

1603
01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:28,400
Speaker 1: great one because we are an I heeart radio podcast.

1604
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:32,120
Speaker 1: That's the probably the easiest way to find us. And

1605
01:20:32,320 --> 01:20:35,320
Speaker 1: they have so many good podcasts, especially in our sweet

1606
01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:39,720
Speaker 1: network Big Bunny Players. Yes, it's Will fucking Ferrell. We

1607
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:42,240
Speaker 1: always forget about that. Yeah, well Will Ferrell has put

1608
01:20:42,280 --> 01:20:45,559
Speaker 1: his stamp of approval on this show with Lost culture

1609
01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:49,960
Speaker 1: restas uh poug uh And what was that? There's a

1610
01:20:49,960 --> 01:20:57,599
Speaker 1: new one, The Daily zeitgeys current Kerm like you you're

1611
01:20:57,680 --> 01:21:01,479
Speaker 1: friends with him, so mehow let's get out of your

1612
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:04,800
Speaker 1: friend Camil. Thanks guys, we will get to borrow on

1613
01:21:04,880 --> 01:21:07,640
Speaker 1: the show. It's Nikki Glags podcast, Don't Be Kut and