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Speaker 1: Get away from the hustle and bustle of this crazy

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Speaker 1: ass life. Yeah, me too. Do you want to connect

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Speaker 1: with like minded women, get free, heal in the jungles

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Speaker 1: of Costa Rica. Yep, me too. And that's why I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited to announce the Good Vibe Retreat. Yes, we

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Speaker 1: are doing our first retreat in Costa Rica and we

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Speaker 1: just announced all the details on our website. So make

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Speaker 1: sure you go to Good Mom's Bad Choices dot com

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Speaker 1: to fill out the survey. The deadline is this Friday. Yes, ladies,

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Speaker 1: September twenty fourth, you have till September twenty fourth to

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Speaker 1: fill out the survey so that we can hand select

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Speaker 1: a group of amazing women to join us for two

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Speaker 1: retreats in Costa Rica in February. I'm so excited. I'm

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Speaker 1: leaving the details of everything you need to know to

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Speaker 1: sign up in the description of this episode.

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Speaker 2: See you in the jungle.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 4: I'm Erica and I'm Mela and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday, y'all,

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Speaker 4: Happy Wednesday. How are you feeling today, my love.

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Speaker 2: Don't ask me that question. I'm great.

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Speaker 1: I've slept two hours so you know, I'm running on fumes,

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Speaker 1: but I'm here and I'm about to wake the fuck

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Speaker 1: up because I'm good to get about to learn a

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Speaker 1: lot about you know, my stak gass attitude.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 4: Well, I guess I hope to learn more about your

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Speaker 4: attitude too, my dear. We're really excited because today we

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Speaker 4: have Sandra on from Family Personalities podcast.

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Speaker 5: Hi, Sandra, Hi, it's actually Sandra.

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Speaker 3: Andra. I'm sorry, so it's much class.

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Speaker 5: Worries, and I'm really really happy to be here. I

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Speaker 5: didn't know you guys existed before the Podcast Movement conference

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Speaker 5: where I met you, and have been listening to a

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Speaker 5: few episodes watching what you guys do, and I just

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Speaker 5: really love that you guys are living life unapologetically and

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Speaker 5: then putting it out there publicly in giving other women

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Speaker 5: and people permission to do the same. Not that we

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Speaker 5: need permission, but you know what I mean, like it

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Speaker 5: gives when there's an example out there, it makes you

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Speaker 5: feel like you have permission to live your life your

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Speaker 5: own way too. So I just I think what you

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Speaker 5: guys are doing is incredible and I'm honored to be

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Speaker 5: here on your podcast with you.

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Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much. Shout out to podcast movement

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Speaker 4: for connecting the dots on so many amazing women, including you.

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Speaker 4: It's cool to be able to connect with people you

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Speaker 4: probably wouldn't have otherwise. So I'm so excited to be

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Speaker 4: able to bring you on and be in your realm.

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Speaker 4: Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your

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Speaker 4: podcast and what you do over at Family Personalities.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so I work with personality type in the family setting,

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Speaker 5: and specifically I use the Myers Briggs personality type model.

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Speaker 5: But on the podcast we talk any Graham too, because

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Speaker 5: that's a really incredible, like very deep almost like when

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Speaker 5: you find your type, you almost feel like it like

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Speaker 5: breaks you a little bit inside and then you have

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Speaker 5: to like put yourself back together. But I bring that

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Speaker 5: into the family to help with parenting and also just

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Speaker 5: to help with like a peaceful family dynamic, So we

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Speaker 5: talk about that on the podcast. I also work directly

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Speaker 5: with families, and most recently I've started working with teenagers too.

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Speaker 5: I did some workshops at the high school last week,

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Speaker 5: and I just helped people understand themselves and the people

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Speaker 5: around them bet are using personality type.

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Speaker 2: Awesome. I think it's so important.

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Speaker 1: You know, this month is September is back to school September,

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Speaker 1: and all month we've been, you know, wanting to really

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Speaker 1: learn new things. And you know, last week we had

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Speaker 1: an episode with Sylvia Ancestral. If you guys haven't checked

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Speaker 1: that out, I highly recommend. We had our kids natal

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Speaker 1: charts read and it was very, very insightful. And obviously

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Speaker 1: that's more in the space of like the spiritual realm

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Speaker 1: and what you do is a lot more. I think,

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Speaker 1: just like, what's the word I'm looking for, like cerebral

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Speaker 1: or like these are like foundational reasons why you are

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Speaker 1: like this? And I took a Meyer Briggs test. We

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Speaker 1: were talking before we started the episode. I took one

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Speaker 1: years ago. I don't recall. I can't remember where I

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Speaker 1: was or what I, you know, was assigned to. So

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Speaker 1: I'm really interested to know where me and Mila fall

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Speaker 1: on the Meyer Briggs spectrum.

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Speaker 2: Is that what you call it?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, the Meyers Briggs model? I get all, Yeah, I

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Speaker 5: call it yeah. Speaking of your guys' chart reading last time,

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Speaker 5: I didn't get to listen to the whole episode, but

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Speaker 5: I started listening to it and I think I'm not

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Speaker 5: sure if it was Meela Erica. I'm thinking it was Mela,

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Speaker 5: one of you guys said something that like really stuck

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Speaker 5: with me about we are the bearer of souls, so

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Speaker 5: we're bringing our children's souls into the world, and then

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Speaker 5: we have to figure out how to parent them. And

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Speaker 5: that like hit home for me so much because I

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Speaker 5: don't know what I was expecting when I had kids.

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Speaker 5: Maybe I just thought there was just gonna be like

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Speaker 5: little miniature versions of me running around, But I am

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Speaker 5: constantly like, who are you? And I'm surprised by how

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Speaker 5: they need such different things from me than I needed

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Speaker 5: from my parents, and how figuring that out can be

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Speaker 5: quite challenging. So that's a lot of what I like

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Speaker 5: to do, is you can use personality type to really

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Speaker 5: understand who are you and what do you need and

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Speaker 5: how is that different from what I need? And then

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Speaker 5: you know, I can kind of use that to shift

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Speaker 5: how I'm coming at them and relating to them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's really interesting. I think it's even

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Speaker 1: like parenting yourself too. Like I think that these kinds

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Speaker 1: of conversations and models and you know, breaking down the

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Speaker 1: different I guess elements of who we are really help

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Speaker 1: us even better understand what we need because we'd be

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Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, I know, I need this to feel good,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like it's not really working so good

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you try something different.

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Speaker 1: So I'm interested to see, like if there's ways that

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Speaker 1: I can shift in the way that I parent myself

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Speaker 1: and treat myself that would be healthier and more effective

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Speaker 1: for that, so that I can be you know, an

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Speaker 1: effective and you know, high functioning.

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Speaker 2: Parent, human, entrepreneur, all those things. So I'm excited.

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Speaker 4: I confess one time, I like went on an interview

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Speaker 4: for this woman and she was I don't know what

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Speaker 4: she did. I remember she was like a motivational speaker,

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Speaker 4: but it was like an assistant job. And she made

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Speaker 4: me take the test and I was so irritated because

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Speaker 4: I felt judged in the test because you know, they

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Speaker 4: ask you all those very specific questions. I'm like, she's

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Speaker 4: gonna judge me based on this test. She doesn't even

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Speaker 4: know me yet, So I've always had like a preconceived

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Speaker 4: notion of what this test meant, you know. So I'm

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Speaker 4: interested in like open to finding out again, not in

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Speaker 4: a job interview space.

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Speaker 5: Right, not where you're being judged, what which Myers Bragg

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Speaker 5: should never ever ever be used to decide what someone

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Speaker 5: can or can't do, and we'll talk a little bit

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Speaker 5: more about why. But they should not be using that

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Speaker 5: in a job interview situation because we are human and

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Speaker 5: we can do anything. We can stretch and use all

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Speaker 5: parts of ourselves, and I hate when I hear that

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Speaker 5: it's being used for that. It should be used to grow,

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Speaker 5: not to limit.

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Speaker 4: True, right, maybe that's why I was pissed. So before

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Speaker 4: we get started, we always ask our guest to bring

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Speaker 4: an affirmation with them for the day for our listeners.

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Speaker 3: Do you have an affirmation for us today?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of going from what we were just talking

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Speaker 5: about that I am worthy just as I am, I.

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Speaker 3: Am worthy, just as I am I am. I love

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Speaker 3: that that. Yeah. I needed to hear that today to

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Speaker 3: get into the card.

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Speaker 4: So today I pulled the Four of Pentacles, Sandra. We

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Speaker 4: always pull a tarot card also at the top of

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Speaker 4: the episode, just to see what's going on.

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Speaker 3: With the mystics.

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Speaker 5: Let's hear it.

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Speaker 4: The Four of Pentacles is about saving money, security, servotism,

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Speaker 4: and scarcity and control. The Four of Pentacles ask you

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Speaker 4: to examine your relationship with money. Are you accumulating wealth

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Speaker 4: and investing your money wisely while still enjoying your day

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Speaker 4: to day life, or are you desperately clinging to every coin,

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Speaker 4: afraid to spend your money for fear that you could

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Speaker 4: not have enough or could lose it forever. In its

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Speaker 4: most positive state, the four of Pentacles suggest that you

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Speaker 4: have created wealth and abundance by maintaining a steady focus

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Speaker 4: on your goals and acting conservatively. You are attentive to

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Speaker 4: your long term financial security, actively saving money and watching

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Speaker 4: your expenses so you can accumulate wealth and live a

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Speaker 4: comfortable lifestyle, not just now but also in the future. Well,

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Speaker 4: I hope that's good, because that's my biggest fear of

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Speaker 4: not being good with the money.

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Speaker 5: So is this supposed to be like what we should

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Speaker 5: be doing now or is it like the energy that

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Speaker 5: it's saying we do embody right now?

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Speaker 4: It could be either one. It depends I guess how

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Speaker 4: it applies to you. It also suggests that you're placing

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Speaker 4: too much value on money and material possessions may be

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Speaker 4: attached to material things, allowing possessions to become your life.

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Speaker 4: I think it's about balance doing both not being in scarcity,

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Speaker 4: but also you know, not being overly gluttonous.

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Speaker 3: Spending.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like in the last few years. I

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Speaker 5: was just telling Erka before you hopped on that we

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Speaker 5: made a big move a few years ago for lifestyle reasons.

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Speaker 5: We were trying. We were in the Bay Area, California,

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Speaker 5: and we just felt like we were in the rat race,

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Speaker 5: you know, just trying to make money to pay those

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Speaker 5: ridiculous mortgages. And we moved to Bend, Oregon, which is

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Speaker 5: really like outdoorsy, like get to go out and play

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Speaker 5: in the snow in the winter and in the lakes

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Speaker 5: and the rivers in the summer, and housing prices were

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Speaker 5: a lot lower. We went remote for working, so we

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Speaker 5: don't have the three hour commute anymore, and we our

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Speaker 5: money can do more for us. And I feel like

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Speaker 5: it's been a three year journey to now we're just

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Speaker 5: starting to realize what we moved here for and just

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Speaker 5: starting to to relax a little bit more into our

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Speaker 5: new lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure that like definitely makes the quality of life better,

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Speaker 4: you know, making that decision, doing it and then trying

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Speaker 4: to chill in it and like see how it you know,

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Speaker 4: how it's you guys, and how you can chill. Whereas

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Speaker 4: I'm sure in the Bay. It's expensive as well, just

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Speaker 4: like La, So.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it is, and it's starting to get that way

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Speaker 5: here too. I think everyone has had the same idea

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Speaker 5: and is also moving here.

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Speaker 4: So true, true, hence the pandemic. But let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: Who are we? What kind of personality styles do we have?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she'll teach us about us.

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Speaker 5: Oh I'm ready, I'm super excited. Okay. So Myers Briggs

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Speaker 5: kind of looks at two main things. It looks at

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Speaker 5: how you take an information, and it looks at how

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Speaker 5: you make decisions. And it's divided for listeners who you know,

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Speaker 5: you've probably heard of various personality type models. This one

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Speaker 5: is denoted by four letters, So like, my type is I,

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Speaker 5: N F J, And for each of those four there's

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Speaker 5: two choices. And so we're going to be looking at

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Speaker 5: those two choices today. And it's not that you are

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Speaker 5: only one or the other for each. So like I'll

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Speaker 5: start with the first one because it's it's the most

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Speaker 5: easily accessible for people. The first one is introversion or extraversion.

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Speaker 5: And we're not trying to say that you only do

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Speaker 5: one or the other, or that you're only good at

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Speaker 5: one or the other. Right, Like, I'm someone who prefers

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Speaker 5: introversion overall, but here I am interacting with you guys.

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Speaker 5: I went to podcast movement. I can get there in

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Speaker 5: my outer world and I can connect with other people,

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Speaker 5: and I can do that extroverting. But what we're looking

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Speaker 5: at is which one's most natural to you, Which one

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Speaker 5: takes less energy, Which one is just kind of more

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Speaker 5: instinctual versus the opposite usually takes us more energy, it's

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Speaker 5: more awkward, it's more frustrating, maybe more draining, more tiring.

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Speaker 5: And so with all the Meyers breaks choices that we're

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Speaker 5: looking at, that's what we're looking at. We're not saying

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Speaker 5: you can't you can only do one or the other,

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Speaker 5: Just which one gives you more energy?

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Speaker 2: Got it?

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Speaker 3: It makes more sense.

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Speaker 5: So you guys want to dive in with introversion extraversion.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.

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Speaker 3: Sure, Okay, So do you.

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Speaker 5: Guys already have an idea, like right off the bat,

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Speaker 5: what you are?

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Speaker 2: Can you be both?

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Speaker 5: Well, all of us do both, but there's one for

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Speaker 5: everyone that's more natural. Think of it as being right

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Speaker 5: handed or left handed. Okay, there's one that from the

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Speaker 5: beginning of your life, you just you reached for more

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Speaker 5: than the other and we continue to although we may

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Speaker 5: have trained ourselves on the other side as well.

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Speaker 1: I think in my life, even as a kid, like

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Speaker 1: I was an extrovert, Like I liked it to be.

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Speaker 1: I like to be the center of attention. I like

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Speaker 1: to perform. I wasn't really shy. I mean in some

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Speaker 1: way and sometimes in some ways I was, but I

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Speaker 1: wasn't really. I think as an adult, I've become more introverted.

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Speaker 1: So but I don't know, maybe and maybe not, maybe

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Speaker 1: I've been like not feeding my extraversion soul enough. If

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about, like how I remember myself as a child,

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Speaker 1: I would say extrovert.

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Speaker 5: But but if you're thinking of yourself now, you're thinking

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Speaker 5: more introvert.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 5: Okay, do you have an off the bat answer, Mila.

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Speaker 5: We'll go more into it, but I'm just curious if

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Speaker 5: you guys have a first reaction.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm for sure an extrovert. Okay, it's in

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Speaker 4: my nature to like be chatty and.

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Speaker 3: Talk to people. Yeah, like start conversations.

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Speaker 4: I mean it doesn't mean like I don't get nervous

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Speaker 4: about stuff or like have anxiety about stuff that like,

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Speaker 4: it's more in my nature to do it than.

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Speaker 5: To Okay, yeah, it doesn't always necessarily have to be

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Speaker 5: social either. So the concept of introvision and extra vision

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Speaker 5: in Myers Briggs is whether you prefer to orient yourself

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Speaker 5: to your outer world or orient yourself to your inner world.

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Speaker 5: Do you get more energy when you're orienting yourself to

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Speaker 5: your outer world, which can be people, and for a

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Speaker 5: lot of extroverts it is, but it can also be

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Speaker 5: things in doing and like interacting, whether it's you know,

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Speaker 5: sports or building things with your hands, like being in

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Speaker 5: that outer world. Or are you more energized from your

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Speaker 5: inner world of like thoughts, ideas, emotions going inward, which

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Speaker 5: is where I really get my most energies. For me,

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Speaker 5: it's when I go inward. It's different for every introvert.

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Speaker 5: For me, when I go inward, I'm thinking about like

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Speaker 5: the deeper meaning of things. I'm thinking about the future,

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Speaker 5: putting together ideas and plans, and that's where I feel

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Speaker 5: like if I don't get enough time doing that during

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Speaker 5: the day, I just get really drained. If I have

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Speaker 5: to be in my outer world all the time, talking

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Speaker 5: with people, getting things done, racing from place to place,

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Speaker 5: that is just exhausting and draining for me, that makes sense,

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Speaker 5: and then it looks a little can I tell you,

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Speaker 5: can I do like a little brain? A little brain

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Speaker 5: explanation of this, I'd get a little nerdy when we

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Speaker 5: start to get into this stuff. But there's a researcher

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Speaker 5: at UCLA who put together this study where he actually

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Speaker 5: did EEG maps of people's brains and he looked at

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Speaker 5: like the different regions of the brains and when they

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Speaker 5: light up, and compared it between different personality types and

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Speaker 5: with introversion extraversion. He noticed a pattern in the different

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Speaker 5: ways that we use our brain. I'm not a neuroscientist,

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Speaker 5: but this is my general understanding of this is that

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Speaker 5: we have these two areas, like in the front of

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Speaker 5: our brain, in the front of our neocortex that light

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Speaker 5: up when we are acting or deciding. So we're making

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Speaker 5: a decision, we're acting, those these light up, and then

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Speaker 5: the back of our brain there's a bunch of regions

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Speaker 5: that we use to reflect, to consider, to analyze, and

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Speaker 5: those light up when we're doing those things. And he

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Speaker 5: noticed that people who use extraversion when there's an input

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Speaker 5: when he asks them to do something, consider something. When

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Speaker 5: they're doing something, this front part of the brain lights

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Speaker 5: up first, so the first thing they do is act

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Speaker 5: and act and decide before they go to the back

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Speaker 5: of their brain to consider or reflect, whereas introverts it's

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Speaker 5: the opposite. The back of their brain lights up first

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Speaker 5: to consider, to reflect, to decide, to analyze or not

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Speaker 5: decide to consider, reflect, analyze before the front of their

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Speaker 5: brain lights up to act and decide. And so what

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Speaker 5: you see is more of a hesitance, a observing before

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Speaker 5: you jump in, or a thinking before you speak. You know,

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Speaker 5: like if you think of like a class of kids

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Speaker 5: and you ask them a question, you know that the

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Speaker 5: ones who prefer extra version are ready to just share

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Speaker 5: because they're acting and deciding first, whereas the kids who

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Speaker 5: prefer introversion, there's going to be a long pause and

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Speaker 5: a wait because they need to use the back of

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Speaker 5: their brain first.

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Speaker 2: Hmm, okay that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that does make sense.

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Speaker 4: I've never heard it broken down that way medically, but

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Speaker 4: that that makes sense.

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Speaker 5: So when you guys, think of your brains, which one

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Speaker 5: do you think you're using first? That front or the back?

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Speaker 5: Do you ever get that like foot in your mouth? Feel? Okay?

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Speaker 5: We got back For Erica.

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Speaker 4: I probably do a lot more acting than I do considering.

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Speaker 3: Then the considering comes later.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, A lot of times people who prefer extra version,

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Speaker 5: they'll say that actually a lot it. Speaking out loud

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Speaker 5: for them is how they do their thinking, So they're

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Speaker 5: thinking as they speak rather than thinking before they speak.

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Speaker 5: Another way that you could, if you're trying to sort

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Speaker 5: this one out, you could think of spending an entire

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Speaker 5: week in one world or the other. So if you

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Speaker 5: think of spending your entire week in the world of extraversion,

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Speaker 5: of like interacting with people, of interacting with your outer

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Speaker 5: world without being able to go to your inner world,

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Speaker 5: and how does that feel versus on the opposite end,

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Speaker 5: if you spend the entire week in your introversion world,

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Speaker 5: of the inner world of thinking, reflecting. You know, whether

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Speaker 5: it's like reading, listening to music, which one tires you

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Speaker 5: out faster, which one Probably none of us want to

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Speaker 5: spend an entire week doing either one, but which one

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Speaker 5: is just going to get you faster Where it's like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, I need to go to that other world.

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Speaker 5: For me, it's if I'm with people all day long,

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Speaker 5: every day, like oh I just can't I just shut

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Speaker 5: down at a certain point.

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Speaker 2: I get more tired in the outer world.

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Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, I love being around people, but

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Speaker 1: it's like I do get drained easily. I think literally

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Speaker 1: this week, I spent the weekend with friends, and I

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Speaker 1: literally feel like I partied for like ten days straight.

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Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck?

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Speaker 1: I am exhausted, like, and like, I feel that way

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Speaker 1: kind of often when I'm in like heavily social situations

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Speaker 1: for extended periods of time. Also, like if I'm alone

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Speaker 1: too long, I'll feel drained as well too, because I

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Speaker 1: could sit in my thoughts all day long and fucking

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Speaker 1: think all day long. My brain like doesn't turn off,

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Speaker 1: which is a problem, blessing and a curse.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know. I don't know, Like I don't know.

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Speaker 5: It sounds like that's a normal state for you, though,

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Speaker 5: to be in your thoughts you can't turn it off.

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Speaker 5: So maybe that introversion there is what you lean toward

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Speaker 5: versus not being able. Maybe Mila is someone who identifies

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Speaker 5: as an extrot maybe feels like she can't turn off

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Speaker 5: the interaction.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, for sure, I do get more energy from

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Speaker 4: the outer world. But I think as I get older,

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Speaker 4: I'm realizing like how draining it is We did go

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Speaker 4: out for like two days, and I did feel like

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Speaker 4: it was like a hardcore party weekend.

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Speaker 3: Literally went to dinner twice. WHOA that was? WHOA? I

387
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Speaker 3: was went crazy?

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Speaker 4: So I guess, yeah, I feel like as you get older,

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Speaker 4: you generally try to find more balance, you know, like,

390
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Speaker 4: even if you are an introvert, you'll step out of

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Speaker 4: your comfort zone. You'll go to a podcast movement because

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Speaker 4: fuck it, why not? You know, like maybe push yourself

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Speaker 4: to seek that balance a little bit more. Like I'm

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Speaker 4: an extrovert, but I'm like, sometimes you need to sit

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Speaker 4: the fuck down.

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Speaker 3: You have enough talking, you know.

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Speaker 4: So it's like I think as we get older, we

398
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Speaker 4: show to find the balance and more things like stepping

399
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Speaker 4: outside of our comfort zone more naturally.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes people who are in their middle ages and

401
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 5: beyond can be some of the tougher ones to type

402
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Speaker 5: because they have started to find more of that balance

403
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Speaker 5: between these two opposites. So a lot of times you

404
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 5: need to look at like the pattern through your life,

405
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Speaker 5: because we're looking at who was I born ass rather

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Speaker 5: than who've I trained myself to be?

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Speaker 1: Well, how do we go about knowing? Are you going

408
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Speaker 1: to ask us a series of questions or are these

409
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Speaker 1: the questions? Are you like just as it now? Well,

410
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Speaker 1: I'm like, am I answering these? Right?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm scared.

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Speaker 5: No. Meyer's breaks is best done when you choose the

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Speaker 5: type for yourself. Oh okay, So I like to talk

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Speaker 5: you through what it all means, and then you guys

415
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Speaker 5: are doing the inner reflection of which one sounds more.

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Speaker 2: Like meel and I can give you, guys.

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Speaker 5: Want you want some more specific examples.

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Speaker 2: I mean I feel like I'm like, I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: like this. I'm kind of like that. I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: both yeah, kind of and I'm like, she gave me

421
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Speaker 2: a way to tell I'm gonna be like all the letters.

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Speaker 4: This is why I was so true during the interview,

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Speaker 4: because I was like, I'm both okay, who can answer these? Honestly,

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Speaker 4: I'm everything so frustrated. I'm inner outer Okay.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's more of a reflection of which one is

426
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Speaker 5: more natural and which one is more of an effort. Right,

427
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 5: So we're doing that reflection. But I can give you

428
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Speaker 5: some more specific examples on one side, on the introversion side,

429
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Speaker 5: do you tend to reflect more before responding to quiquestions?

430
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Speaker 5: Or are you the type of person that respondes to

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Speaker 5: questions immediately?

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Speaker 1: I think it depends on if it's like emotional, because

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Speaker 1: I can be very reactive emotionally, and then if it's not,

434
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Speaker 1: if I don't feel emotionally invested in it, then I'll

435
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Speaker 1: take my time to react, which I probably need to

436
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Speaker 1: like do that more.

437
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 2: I think of my mother. She's really patient and.

438
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: Like thoughtful when she well maybe not with me, but

439
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 1: with everybody else.

440
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,479
Speaker 2: When she thinks about things.

441
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 1: And I sometimes can be abrasive, I've been told, and

442
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: I'm not good at hiding my feelings at all. Ever, Okay,

443
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 1: if you can't tell, so, I guess I would say

444
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 1: that I I'm pretty quick with like I guess I

445
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: respond quickly. I'm not super duper and like I don't

446
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: really take the time all the time to really like think.

447
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 2: I have a friend who literally we have conversations.

448
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 1: It fucking drives me crazy because we're talking and he

449
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,959
Speaker 1: literally takes five hundred years to answer a question, like

450
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 1: I see him look up and they say that geniuses

451
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: like look up a lot when they're like processing and thinking,

452
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: and that's what he does. And he's borderline genius and

453
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 1: a conversation with like three questions last an hour because

454
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: he is so intentional, intentional about how he responds to.

455
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 5: Her response, whereas I'm just like yeah, and then sometimes

456
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 5: I'm like, let.

457
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: Me think of this, okay, you know what, I don't.

458
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 2: Let me make sure that I'm being thoughtful.

459
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: But I think for the most part, I think we

460
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 1: have a podcast to I mean, we have a podcast

461
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: because we're.

462
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 2: We are kind of like quick on our feet.

463
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: We react quickly to like questions, and sometimes they're good answers.

464
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,479
Speaker 2: Sometimes they're not well thought out.

465
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, and I you know, I do a podcast also,

466
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 5: but that's a challenge for me thinking on my feet

467
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 5: and responding right away. And so I love that I

468
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 5: get to control and edit my own podcast because I

469
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 5: take out the longest silences and with my co host,

470
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 5: and I am always like, wait, hold on, let me

471
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 5: think about that how I want to say that for

472
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 5: a minute before I say it, And then I get

473
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 5: to just cut all that out, and everyone thinks I

474
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 5: responded right away with the most intelligent answer. We were

475
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 5: talking about this earlier, Erica. But also on the introversion side,

476
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 5: usually people are more contained and harder to read, whereas

477
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 5: on the extra version side, you get more nonverbal information

478
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 5: like gestures and facial expressions, so even if it's not verbal.

479
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: Oh, I've always been told I'm hard to read, so

480
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 2: I must be an introer.

481
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 5: Okay, but you also said everyone knows exactly what you're thinking,

482
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 5: so that that would be easier to read.

483
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,479
Speaker 1: I think they don't, like they're like they don't know.

484
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: They know that there's something going on, they're just not

485
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: sure what it is, like is she or is she

486
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: what is she thinking over there? And I think it's

487
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: just they know that there's a mood happening, they're just

488
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 1: not sure what the mood is and why. I think

489
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 1: I've always been told like, I mean, I have resting

490
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 1: butch face, it's a fact. And I've been told that

491
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: I'm hard to read and that I'm intimidating. So I

492
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 1: don't know if that's, you know, because I'm an introvert,

493
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: or if that you know, but I've heard that my

494
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 1: whole life pretty much.

495
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 5: Okay, it's more hard to read. It also seems like

496
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 5: you get drained faster by your outer world. I was

497
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 5: hearing and being socializing when it's not an emotional reaction,

498
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,679
Speaker 5: you feel like you think it through unless it's an

499
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 5: emotional reaction. So I'm hearing more introvert vibes from you,

500
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 5: but maybe not one hundred percent decided yet.

501
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 4: Were you gonna say, Mela, Oh nothing, I was just

502
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 4: gonna say I have resting kind bitch face, because no

503
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,479
Speaker 4: matter where I go, people start talking to me, and

504
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, wow, I must look so friendly because I

505
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 4: was not inviting this conversation at all, but now I'm

506
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 4: in it. I must just give off a very kind

507
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 4: of bubbly bitch please speak to me.

508
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 5: I don't know what Meyers Briggs letter that is, but

509
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 5: maybe we'll get there.

510
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 3: We need to call Meyer.

511
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 2: There's no KBF kind bitch.

512
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 5: Face, No, not that I know of. I haven't learned

513
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 5: that one yet. All right, So I want to make

514
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 5: sure we get through all of them before the end

515
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 5: of the recording, So I'll move on to the next one,

516
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 5: and you could put a question mark for the first

517
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 5: letter if you want, or we can, or I don't know.

518
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 5: It seems like, Mela, you feel pretty strong on extrovert. Yeah,

519
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 5: and Erica maybe kind of split.

520
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 2: Probably leaning more into introvert with a dash of extrovert.

521
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 5: Still sprinkling, and sometimes this can take. It can take

522
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 5: like you know, I mean, we're doing it this in

523
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 5: one podcast session, but really it can take a long

524
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 5: time to kind of reflect and pick your own type.

525
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 5: So you know, this is a journey and it doesn't

526
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 5: have to stop here, but you can consider to read,

527
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 5: can can continue to reflect on this afterward.

528
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 2: Okay.

529
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 5: So then the second letter pairing or choice that you

530
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 5: make in Myers Briggs is how you take an information

531
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 5: from the world. And on one side we have sensing

532
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 5: people who prefer sensing and that's denoted by an S

533
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 5: and to prefer details, facts and practical applications. Okay. And

534
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 5: then on the other side we use the letter N

535
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 5: for intuition, prefer to deal with theories, ideas and the

536
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 5: big picture. And so when you think of like sensing,

537
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 5: which is the details, right, facts and the practical, those

538
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 5: people see the trees, and when you think of intuition,

539
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 5: you zoom out, and those people tend to see the forest.

540
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 3: I am both.

541
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 4: I need the facts and I need my intuition because

542
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 4: the facts are the fun.

543
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,439
Speaker 5: And when you say intuition, what does that mean to you?

544
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 5: Because sometimes these words don't mean exactly what we are

545
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 5: used to them, meaning people prefer sensing. They focus on

546
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 5: what can be experienced and verified, whereas on the intuition

547
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,439
Speaker 5: side they focus on patterns, meanings, and interconnections.

548
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 2: I think I'm more intuition.

549
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I always I consider facts, but

550
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: I generally I am very intuit in my decision making,

551
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: and anytime I'm not, it's fucked up for me.

552
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 5: You feel like you've made a bad decision if you don't.

553
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime I consider the facts and I make decisions

554
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: purely based on just facts, and I ignore my intuition,

555
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: which might be contesting the facts.

556
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: M hm, I generally regret it.

557
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 5: Okay, how about when it comes to you know, when

558
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 5: I always tell people whenever I read an article on something,

559
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 5: you know, whether it's like, say, the headline says you

560
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 5: shouldn't eat dairy anymore. It's not a very catchy headline,

561
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 5: but we'll just pretend. I always like, I read it

562
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 5: through and I pay attention to the details and the

563
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 5: facts and the article. But when I get to the end,

564
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 5: for me, I just remember the main takeaway and then

565
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 5: I'll bring it to someone else and be like, hey,

566
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 5: I read this, or this is incredible, like we really

567
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 5: shouldn't be eating dairy anymore. And they'll be like, well, why,

568
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 5: and I'll be like, oh, you know, I read it

569
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 5: and it made sense at the time, but I don't

570
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 5: remember the details of why because I'm more intuition. So

571
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 5: I remembered that big picture idea and then I want

572
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 5: to apply it to things, but I forget the details.

573
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: That's me.

574
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 5: Yep, let's see two. Okay, we might have two inhibition.

575
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 2: My stomach is gonna tell me, girl, you shouldn't eat

576
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: and dairy. We don't need to read an article.

577
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter.

578
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: I've been told.

579
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 5: You another thing you could look at for sensing intuition.

580
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 5: People prefer sensing. They like to take a step by

581
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 5: step approach to things. They also like to be kind

582
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 5: of told, like here's how you say, Like I don't

583
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 5: know when it comes to doing a you know, a

584
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 5: project for work, like here's exactly how I should do

585
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 5: a podcast episode number one. I learned how to this

586
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 5: number two, I do this number three, I do this

587
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 5: number four. You know, I put it out there and

588
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 5: it's out there. Whereas people on the intuition side, they

589
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 5: prefer less details of how to do things. So that

590
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 5: they can create their own way of doing it.

591
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 3: I like to make my own way.

592
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 2: I'm a mixture of both in ways. I am a researcher.

593
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: I guess I do look at things and be like, Okay,

594
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: I know that worked. That work that, like, for example,

595
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: because I'm always thinking about like marketing and stuff, and

596
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,719
Speaker 1: I'm always like, Okay, that impacted me because of this

597
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: and this and that.

598
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 2: How can I apply that to my business? How can

599
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: I apply that to my life in my own way?

600
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: So it's like, like I said, like I always do

601
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: consider the facts, but ultimately it always falls back into

602
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: like my intuition, which I think is like the overlaying layer,

603
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: and then like facts lie under that, somewhere under the surface.

604
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 5: Yep. And again this is something that all of us

605
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 5: can do both things. We kind of have to do

606
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 5: both of these things to exist in the world. But

607
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 5: generally there's more comfort with one or the other. And

608
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 5: so I'm with you, guys. I have more comfort with

609
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 5: the big picture and the meanings and the theories, and

610
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 5: I love thinking about new ways to do things. And

611
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 5: then sometimes, you know, we have to be careful not

612
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 5: to lean into that too much, because have we just

613
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 5: recreated the wheel has someone else already done it better?

614
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 5: And sensors are really good at bringing it back to like,

615
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 5: here's a really good model that someone else has already

616
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 5: done that we can follow. And they prefer to do

617
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 5: things in experience YaST ways, in ways that things have

618
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 5: already been done, bring things forward into a more repeatable right,

619
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 5: do you guys both feel like yeah, you feel like

620
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 5: intuition on this one?

621
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 3: I think intuition.

622
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, So let's end rothe This one's really interesting because

623
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 5: most of the letter pairings are you find about approximately

624
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 5: half of the population on one side and half of

625
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,719
Speaker 5: the population on the other side. But this one is

626
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 5: unevenly divided in our population. It's actually sixty five approximately.

627
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 5: Please don't quote me on that aproc because I'm not

628
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 5: details right, sixty five percent of the population is on

629
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 5: the sensing side, whereas thirty five percent of the population

630
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,959
Speaker 5: is on the intuition side.

631
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna say that makes sense. A lot

632
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 4: of people are are not using their intuition.

633
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I love knowing that because for one, and

634
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 5: this is part of why I really like using Myers

635
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 5: Briggs with kids, is when we recognize something in our

636
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 5: kids that's maybe not in conjunction with the rest of

637
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 5: the world, can see that hey, they may not fit

638
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 5: in in one way, but they also have this special

639
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 5: gift to bring and to recognize that in ourselves that

640
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 5: you know, we are the people who are the innovators,

641
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 5: as in people who use intuition. We want to look

642
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 5: at new ways of doing things. We're really good at

643
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 5: connecting ideas and theories, and that if we didn't have

644
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 5: that in the world, you know, nothing wouldever change.

645
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree, m Yeah, even with like what you're saying,

646
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 4: with like the astrology, things like just approaching your child

647
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 4: in a different way, and like I always say, mother

648
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 4: yourself like you'd mother like your child, you know, like

649
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 4: when you can see your child and see these amazing

650
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 4: gifts that like maybe they're not like traditional, but they're here,

651
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 4: you can often offer that type of like tenderness and

652
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 4: gentleness to yourself too.

653
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

654
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 5: So this was a big thing for me that I

655
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 5: struggle with in my parenting. I don't know about you guys,

656
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,479
Speaker 5: but as far as I know, it's just human nature, right.

657
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 5: We all compare ourselves to other parents out there, and

658
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 5: something that I think sensors are really good at that

659
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 5: I'm not is the daily practical details that need to

660
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 5: be taken care of in a home, and that's something

661
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 5: that's really difficult for me, Like getting dinner on the

662
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 5: table at the same time each day, taking care of

663
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 5: the practical tasks of keeping the home neat, whatever it is.

664
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 5: Those things are more of a struggle for people on

665
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 5: the intuition side. It takes more effort, it takes more

666
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 5: of our energy. We're more drained by that. And when

667
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 5: I find myself comparing, I feel lesser.

668
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 2: Then.

669
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 5: But when I see the gifts that my intuition brings,

670
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 5: and that I have a different gift that I can

671
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 5: bring to my should I can look at the deeper

672
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 5: meaning of who they are and bring that out. I

673
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 5: have a different thing that I can provide them with

674
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 5: my intuition, Then that can help me feel more, you know,

675
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 5: going with my mantra at the beginning of the episode,

676
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 5: more like I'm worthy as I am.

677
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 3: Thank God, because I was just thinking I was lazy.

678
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 5: I know it feels like that sometimes.

679
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: Fuck, I just cleaned like one day ago.

680
00:32:59,120 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 5: I gotta do it again.

681
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 3: No, right, Like, yeah, look I do it, but I

682
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 3: don't like it.

683
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 5: I gotta do the dishes again. I just did them.

684
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 4: I just fed you, I just made you dinner yesterday,

685
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 4: and I guess I'm like, God, we're all hungry every day.

686
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 5: So fucking annoying, like five times a day, like six

687
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 5: times a day with the kid.

688
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 3: I'm hungry, You're hungry. Everybody's fucking hungry.

689
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 4: Half my fucking life is just feeding people, including myself.

690
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 3: I'm over it, okay.

691
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 5: And my daughter, she's the same age as your guys daughters.

692
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 5: She's a very she'll eat a lot of different things,

693
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 5: which is great because my son's picky and that's hard

694
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 5: on a whole other level. But she will get into

695
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 5: this maybe at the end with what her Myers brigs

696
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 5: type is. But she is like kind of a what's

697
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 5: the word I'm looking for, like a foodie. I don't know,

698
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 5: the kid version of a foodie. So, but she wants

699
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 5: her food to be like exciting and so tasty and

700
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 5: like a variety of things every time, and she won't

701
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 5: pick what she wants. She wants to be surprised, so

702
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 5: she'd be like, I'm hungry, and I'll be like, what

703
00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 5: do you want? I don't know, surprise me, eh, Like really,

704
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 5: I got to go through the kitchen and like make

705
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 5: you a surprise meal every two hours.

706
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 3: That surprised me, Well, I love that.

707
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: Sha oh my god, my daughter's a surprise and I'm like, girl,

708
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 1: you ain't gonna be surprised the same shit you got yesterday.

709
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 2: And okay, because.

710
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 4: My daughter she'll never say surprised, maybe because you know

711
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 4: she only she.

712
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: Does not want to be surprised. She does not want

713
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: to be surprised at all.

714
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh, we're going to get that to that one

715
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 5: on the last letter, people who like being surprised and don't. Okay,

716
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 5: so we're going in for you guys. Let's move on

717
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 5: to the third one, and this one has to do

718
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 5: with how we make decisions. And again it's really important

719
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 5: to keep in mind we all do both of these things,

720
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 5: and in order to make good decisions in our lives,

721
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 5: we have probably learned how to find at least somewhat

722
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 5: of a balance between these two things. And the labels

723
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 5: that we use for this is thinking and feeling. But

724
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 5: just erase from your mind the standard conventional definitions of

725
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 5: thinking and feeling. It doesn't Thinkers aren't people who think

726
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 5: or are smarter more anymore than feelers. And feel are

727
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 5: not any more emotional than people on the thinking side.

728
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 5: We all have emotions. This has nothing to do with

729
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 5: intelligence level or anything like that. On the thinking side,

730
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 5: and we use T to denote thinking, are people who

731
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 5: prefer to step outside of a situation emotionally when they're

732
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 5: making a decision, making their decisions based on a purely

733
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 5: objective logic. And this can be any decision from like

734
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 5: what you're going to where in the morning, to what

735
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 5: you're going to respond to someone in the middle of

736
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 5: a conversation, to bigger life decisions like am I going

737
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 5: to make a career change? And then on the opposite

738
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 5: end we have on the feeling side, we denote it

739
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 5: with f We have people who prefer to step into

740
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 5: a situation emotionally making decisions based on either their own

741
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 5: feelings and values or the feelings and values and desires

742
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 5: of those around them. So a really good example on

743
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 5: this is like that friend you know who you can

744
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,439
Speaker 5: always count on to tell you like it is right,

745
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 5: like they're not going to sugarcoat it, They're going to

746
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 5: that's on the thinking side. On the feeling side, you

747
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 5: have that friend who's always there to build you up

748
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 5: no matter how bad you look. They're like, you look

749
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 5: so great, go get it, because they're they're taking your

750
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 5: feelings into consideration based on what to decide what to say.

751
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 2: I think that I'm on the other side, what was

752
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 2: the other side called.

753
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 5: Not the feeling side, thinking tea.

754
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 2: I think I'm on that side.

755
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: But I think I've learned that I have to, like

756
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 1: my delivery has to be a little more gentler because

757
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: or else, whatever I'm saying doesn't matter, like it won't

758
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: nothing doesn't matter, but it won't.

759
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 5: Receive it, receive item, you know.

760
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: So, I mean, I am pretty straight up and I'm

761
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: pretty honest about, you know, to my friends about whatever

762
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: it is that I'm being honest about.

763
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: But I think that, you.

764
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: Know, I I definitely hold my hold back in ways,

765
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: and I try to encourage my friends too, because I

766
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,720
Speaker 1: know that, like, you know, everyone.

767
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: Is going through their own shit.

768
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: You know, everyone is like farther along or farther behind,

769
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: and like you can't expect everyone to be like where

770
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: you're at, or they can't expect you to be where

771
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: they're at.

772
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 2: But I would say I probably lean more on the

773
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: on the other.

774
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 5: Side of that, on the tea side, Yeah, it sounds

775
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 5: like I really like how you worded it, that you

776
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 5: have learned that you needed to soften things up so

777
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 5: they can be received well. Because a lot of times

778
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 5: one side for us is a learned skill and the

779
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 5: other one was the natural one.

780
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 4: I'm a feelings type of gal. I'm honest, though, I'll

781
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 4: keep it real with you, like bit no, but I'm

782
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 4: going to hug you. You know, I think I'm an

783
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 4: honest but a feeler. A lot of things come from

784
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 4: my feelings.

785
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, let me give you guys some specific examples of

786
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 5: this one. I hesitate on using this example because again,

787
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,359
Speaker 5: like as adults that we kind of have a lot

788
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 5: of us have learned to balance this. But you think

789
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 5: of like when you're going out to dinner as a

790
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 5: group and deciding where to go, and you have, you know,

791
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 5: one person who has different eating preferences, maybe they're vegetarian

792
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 5: or whatever than the others we have on one side.

793
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 5: The actually, you know what this is getting into a

794
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 5: little bit a deeper level. There's actually two different types

795
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 5: of feeling. There's people who are more like guided by

796
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 5: their internal values. They're kind of like march to the

797
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 5: beat of their own drum, kind of people, and like

798
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 5: they're not going to compromise what they're doing to like

799
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 5: fit what other people want, and like, how how much

800
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 5: does that sound like your Guys's podcast?

801
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 2: Right?

802
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds pretty much. Yeah.

803
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 5: And then you have a second type of feeling that's

804
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 5: more external facing. So it's more like these people have

805
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 5: a hard time making decisions that will go against what

806
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 5: other people want or need or desire. And we call

807
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 5: that extroverted feeling, which is more the type of feeling

808
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 5: I use. It's more of like a people pleasing type

809
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 5: of feeling. And as we grow and mature, you know,

810
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 5: we have to learn how to balance that so that

811
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 5: we are still honoring ourselves.

812
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can people, please, I'm not a people pleaser.

813
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 2: Have you ever just been too damn high I have?

814
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 4: It's funny you may ask, because today I went to

815
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 4: the back to school meeting and I was just too

816
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 4: damn high.

817
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 2: Dad.

818
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,239
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819
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820
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Speaker 1: you're trying to talk to teacher Mary about your daughter's

821
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,399
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822
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823
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824
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Speaker 1: I'm a vibrator connoisseur, as you know. I've talked about

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844
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845
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859
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Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my god, you're sad. I can't like

860
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,479
Speaker 4: she's going like she's sad. I can't not do it

861
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 4: or she needs.

862
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 2: I sound like a bitch.

863
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm not a people pleaser. I don't not connected to

864
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: my feelings. I'm an introvert, Like what the fuck?

865
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:24,919
Speaker 3: Big?

866
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,240
Speaker 2: I let her be on myers.

867
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 5: Brain like b I T no s.

868
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 3: I T H.

869
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 1: I mean I don't Yeah, I don't because I don't

870
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: really identify with people pleasers. As a people pleaser, I

871
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: don't think in some ways, maybe in relationships sometimes I

872
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: can be.

873
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 2: Not anymore.

874
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: But no, Actually, in fact, people pleasers irritate me a

875
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 1: little bit because because I just feel like it takes

876
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: away so much of yourself by being a people I

877
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: think it's a gift in ways, but then sometimes I

878
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: see my friends and I'm like, you gotta think of

879
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: yourself first. You gotta like you got you have to

880
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 1: at least I do, you know. I feel like that's

881
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: the only way I can like survive if I'm constantly

882
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: considering other people, like I'm never gonna consider myself. And

883
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: so I don't mean to like generally put like a

884
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: blanketed statement like that, like people pleasers irritate me, But

885
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 1: there's I guess there's parts of that that like I

886
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: just don't understand.

887
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 2: I guess is what I'm saying.

888
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: I don't understand, And so for me it feels very foreign,

889
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: and when I see it, I'm like, what what are

890
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: you doing?

891
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, And for me it's the other way. It's something

892
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 5: that with wisdom and with age, I've had to learn

893
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 5: how to even recognize my own thoughts and opinions and

894
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,439
Speaker 5: feelings on everything because I take on other people's needs

895
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 5: as my own that sometimes I forget that those aren't

896
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 5: my own needs.

897
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can identify with that generally, that come I

898
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 4: think people pleasing in general comes from like kind of

899
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 4: wanting to feel validated in childhood or seen that's what

900
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 4: I've heard or like. And so it's so subconsciously like

901
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,839
Speaker 4: woven into your personality that you almost feel like you're

902
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 4: finding joy in helping someone else or pleasing someone else.

903
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 4: And then you have to really like do some inner

904
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 4: reflecting and to be like, I'm a little irritated why

905
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 4: like I agreed to do this, you know, And it's

906
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 4: like you have to really evaluate are you doing it

907
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 4: because you should or you feel like you should, or

908
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 4: because you genuinely want to because you have to sit

909
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 4: with it, and if you're not happy, you'll feel depleted

910
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 4: or have a little bit of an attitude about it,

911
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 4: and it's like you shouldn't have done it in the

912
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 4: first place.

913
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 3: So I totally can agree with that.

914
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 5: I understand that I have a good podcast movement example here, Oh,

915
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 5: this is like getting revealing some of myself. So to

916
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,760
Speaker 5: get to podcast movement. I was talking to Erica before

917
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 5: we got started about how I've been transitioning over the

918
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 5: past two three years. I would stay at home mom,

919
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 5: and then I've been transitioning to starting my own business,

920
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 5: and it's been some growing pains and I things have

921
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 5: blown up a little bit more for me over the

922
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 5: last couple months, and so it's been a lot more

923
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 5: intense trying to figure out how to transition to you know,

924
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 5: mom works, mom travels now, and to get to podcast movement.

925
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 5: Here's what I did to make it easier on my family.

926
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 5: I drove my kids eight and a half hours to

927
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 5: my parents' house and so that my husband wouldn't have

928
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 5: to deal with like driving them to camp and whatever

929
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 5: else while he's working. And then I because my parents

930
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 5: live in a small town, I had to take two

931
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 5: or three different planes to get to Nashville travel for

932
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 5: the whole day. I was there for two days. I

933
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 5: didn't want to be there for too long, even though

934
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 5: it was a four day conference. I stayed for two

935
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 5: days because I didn't want to put any hardship on

936
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 5: anyone else. And then I flew back and I get

937
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 5: nauseous on planes. It's just like miserable travel day, and

938
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 5: then I drove my kids eight and a half hours

939
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 5: back home.

940
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 3: I think you told me this that I saw you,

941
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 3: and I was like what.

942
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 5: And then I got home and it was exhausted. And

943
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 5: then I actually got a call for a job that

944
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 5: I was really excited about, and I was like kind

945
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 5: of trying to like cram to like get everything I

946
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 5: needed to get that job. And my husband got kind

947
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 5: of upset and with me because he was like, hey,

948
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 5: you've been gone for like five or six days and

949
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 5: now you're like all up and work and like what

950
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 5: about me kind of a thing. And I got instead

951
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 5: of getting like, oh, what do you need from me?

952
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 5: Like what I don't understand and talking it through, I

953
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 5: got like super resentful and angry. I was like, do

954
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 5: you know what I just did for you? I drove

955
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 5: eight and I went through that whole story of I

956
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 5: did this and this and I'm exhausted now, like I

957
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 5: need a break now, and he's like, wait, why did

958
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 5: you do that? I didn't ask you to do that,

959
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 5: and I was like, it was for you, but he

960
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 5: never told me that I needed to do that. That

961
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 5: was me trying to take other people's needs on as

962
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 5: my own and not only that, but trying to guess

963
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 5: what I thought their needs were.

964
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then it's like you even have to do that,

965
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 4: and you really put yourself in and like stressed yourself

966
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 4: out more than you needed to when he probably could

967
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 4: have figured out the camp thing.

968
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I couldn't be anything that anybody needed

969
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 5: because I was over exhausted at that point.

970
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

971
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 4: I think that's what women do. I mean, like a

972
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 4: lot of times we do that moms.

973
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, for.

974
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: Sure, I've definitely done some shit. I've definitely done some

975
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: shit because I just didn't want to be a burden,

976
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 1: you know.

977
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be I didn't want my child

978
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 2: to be a burden, me to be a burden.

979
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: And I could have just you know, said hey, this

980
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: is what I need yep, so that I can go

981
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 1: to podcast movement and not be fucking exhausted, damn, Sandra.

982
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 5: And I didn't do it again. So I learned my lesson.

983
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 5: I just went out of town for eight days. I

984
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 5: did not I just let my husband handle not that

985
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 5: I didn't, like, you know, help out here and there

986
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 5: with getting things prepped, but he just handled the kids

987
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 5: for eight days and guess what. They were fine too.

988
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 3: Everybody's alive.

989
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: Everyone survived somehow. They the kids probably didn't shower for

990
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 1: four days, but it's fine.

991
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 5: They did not.

992
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 3: Who cares, you weren't there to smell them.

993
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 5: I mean, okay, so we've got it. Sounds like Mela

994
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 5: on the F for feeler, erica T for thinker. So

995
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 5: we've got We're almost there. We've got NF for Mela,

996
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 5: I nt erica. But of course this is the journey,

997
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 5: and you may change your mind after this episode. But okay,

998
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 5: So the last letter pairing here that we're looking at

999
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 5: is J and P. And again I don't want you

1000
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 5: to get locked into the conventional definitions of these words.

1001
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 5: These words Carl Jung, who's like big guy in psychology,

1002
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 5: he's the one who kind of created these labels, and

1003
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 5: they don't mean what you know these conventional words mean.

1004
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 5: So for this one, it's J for judging and it

1005
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 5: has nothing to do with being judgmental or P for perceiving.

1006
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 5: Is the other side, and this has to do with

1007
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 5: how we approach our outer world. And on one side

1008
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 5: you have on the J side for people who prefer judging,

1009
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:50,280
Speaker 5: they like to put control over their outer world by planning,

1010
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 5: by deciding, by structuring. And then you have people on

1011
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 5: the other end, on the P for the perceiving, who

1012
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 5: prefer to take the outer world as it comes to

1013
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 5: them and just fit into it as it comes to

1014
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 5: them by staying open, flexible, and spontaneous. B. I had

1015
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 5: a feeling or P?

1016
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 3: Is it P? Yeah? P, it's P.

1017
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you know A or B?

1018
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1019
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1020
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 2: Wait can you explain the first one one more time?

1021
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, So people who prefer to have put control on

1022
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 5: their outer world by deciding by structuring, by planning.

1023
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,479
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, no, all right.

1024
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 5: I had a feeling. You guys both, but both might

1025
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 5: be on the piece.

1026
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 2: I think I can be. I can.

1027
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 1: I need a little bit of structure, I dom hm.

1028
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: But for the most part, like, I don't like rules.

1029
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: I do like organization. I'm just not good at doing it.

1030
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 1: But I like, I love a clean, organized situation. I

1031
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: think because I was raised by two what's the other

1032
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: one that's a letter not pay my mom and my

1033
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: grandmother jay to the maximum, So that rubbed off on

1034
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: me in some way. So I do like I appreciate structure.

1035
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 1: It's just not top of mind. I wish I was

1036
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 1: more structure because I feel like my life would run

1037
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: more smoothly. But I just can't wrap my head around

1038
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: and stay consistent, consistent in it. I just needed an assistant,

1039
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: a live in assistant. I need my assistant to camera.

1040
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: Can you move in with me if I get another room,

1041
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 1: I'll give you the master sweet Okay.

1042
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 3: I know you know what I'd like structure.

1043
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 4: I was just going to say, like I want, like,

1044
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 4: hopefully my husband's a jay, and then he can just

1045
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,720
Speaker 4: I can just listen. And then sometimes I won't listen,

1046
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 4: and that's okay. But here's the structure for me, and

1047
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 4: I'll probably love it. I'll love it. I'll love to

1048
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 4: be home and dinner's made. I love to tell me

1049
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 4: what to do, but also don't plan too much. I

1050
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 4: dated a guy who was a Burgo. He's a fucking jay,

1051
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 4: and I never met someone who planned so much like

1052
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 4: he did so much youtubing before we went to the

1053
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 4: actual place.

1054
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,399
Speaker 3: I'm like, Negga, you already, you.

1055
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 4: Already went, you already went on YouTube five hundred times.

1056
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,240
Speaker 4: How much can you fucking plan for the outer world?

1057
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 4: Like chill the fuck out? So, I mean, I do

1058
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,839
Speaker 4: appreciate structure, but I'm probably not the one gonna make

1059
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 4: that itinerary unless I have to.

1060
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, then she'll canva queen it. She'll make a whole

1061
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 2: beautiful presentation on Canva.

1062
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 3: And then I will.

1063
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 4: I will do it, and I'll be happy doing it

1064
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 4: as soon as Erica tells me three times.

1065
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,879
Speaker 5: I really admire people who are on the perceiving side.

1066
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 5: Just wish that I could just like take the world

1067
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 5: as it come. So instead, I'm like, no, I need

1068
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 5: to plan and envision how this is going to go,

1069
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 5: and then I need to make it go exactly that way.

1070
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 4: Nope, don't tell me what's happening on the news. Don't

1071
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 4: want to hear it. I'm living in a bubble and

1072
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 4: I'm doing great over here. I'm lovely. Everything's lovely. I

1073
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 4: don't know what you're talking about, no idea.

1074
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 1: No, I have a friend, well, we have two friends

1075
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: that are both capricorns, and there's like I.

1076
00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: Don't and they're both busy.

1077
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: I don't know when the fuck they find the time

1078
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: to make these spreadsheets and these charts and these listens

1079
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: like they'll pull some.

1080
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 2: Shit up spreadsheets and I'm like, when did you make this?

1081
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 1: I'm like at four am, like me, except I'm trying

1082
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 1: to like, you know, I'm at the four am because

1083
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 1: I have no structure trying to figure some shit out,

1084
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 1: versus them. They were tucked in bed at nine pm

1085
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:27,399
Speaker 1: because they made a little at four am to.

1086
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 5: Do the Excel sheet.

1087
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 2: And now they're asleep before nine.

1088
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, yep, that's me, I am. It's when you talk

1089
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 5: about deadlines. I just did some workshops with high schoolers

1090
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 5: last week, so high schoolers are really fresh on my mind.

1091
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 5: But we do this activity where we say, okay, you

1092
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 5: have this big project due for school, and we can

1093
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 5: think of it as work also right that it's worth

1094
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 5: fifty percent of your grade and you have thirty days

1095
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 5: to do it. Are you the person who gets started

1096
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 5: on day one? You know, day seven, day fifteen, or

1097
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 5: you know day thirty? Like I have them stand in

1098
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 5: a line on that line, and a lot of times

1099
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 5: you find people who prefer judging more towards the first

1100
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 5: half because they feel like they're going to have it

1101
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 5: hanging over their heads. Right. They they want to get

1102
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 5: it done and over with so it's not hanging over

1103
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 5: the heads and then they can relax. And it's really

1104
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 5: hard for people for judging to relax before the to

1105
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 5: do list is done. On the perceiving side, they tend

1106
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 5: to mix fun their work with their play more. They

1107
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 5: can do a little bit and then they can relax,

1108
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 5: and then they can do a little bit and then

1109
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 5: they relax, or they can do it at the same

1110
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 5: time and it's not hanging over their head in the

1111
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 5: same way. And they actually a lot of people who

1112
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 5: prefer perceiving. And I cannot relate to this at all.

1113
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 5: So you guys tell me if this resonates with you,

1114
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 5: actually feel like they get better work done in the

1115
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 5: end because of that like rush to complete.

1116
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 2: You know, as I.

1117
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: Get older, I don't necessarily agree feel that way, But

1118
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: when I was younger, that's definitely how I felt. And

1119
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: I was that person that was writing like a twelve

1120
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 1: page paper like three days before I started like page

1121
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 1: one through three, and then on the last night finished

1122
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: on nine pages. And I usually, like I got pretty

1123
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 1: good grades in school, and so I was like this

1124
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: is working out for me, Like this is great. I

1125
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 1: actually retain more information under pressure, but then once that's done,

1126
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: that information literally leaves my brain because I've put my

1127
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 1: so much stress onto my brain that it's like remembered

1128
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: every single day, like I couldn't. I was like a

1129
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: history genius in high school. I couldn't tell you shit

1130
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: about anything now because.

1131
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,800
Speaker 3: Oh my god, me too. I was in ap history.

1132
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 3: We too don't know shit.

1133
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 4: Don't know fucking shit, like about American history. I'm like, what,

1134
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:35,439
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the tea party.

1135
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 2: Oh, they're like, but you got an A plus.

1136
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, because I memorize of a photographic memory and

1137
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: then it's gone because I had to then make more

1138
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 1: space for the other black last minute paper that I

1139
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 1: was writing or learning. But now as an adult, I

1140
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 1: would say that I think that I still can deliver.

1141
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 1: But I just know that if I gave myself a

1142
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 1: little bit more time, I would be less stress. And

1143
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 1: I know when I'm less stress, I actually and more creative.

1144
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 2: So I don't know.

1145
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I feel like it's something that

1146
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 1: I know that I is not working for me. But

1147
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 1: we're kind of talking about like how we parent ourselves

1148
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 1: and how we feel like, oh, no, this works for me,

1149
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: this is working great, and then like it's like is

1150
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 1: it though, is it working great?

1151
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 3: No?

1152
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:24,760
Speaker 1: You're stressed out, you're tired and it's not working great,

1153
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 1: and that's why now we.

1154
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 4: Have we're also writing the paper of our lives. Like

1155
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 4: right now we actually honestly have deadlines for two hundred

1156
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 4: page paper that is so important to our life in

1157
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,399
Speaker 4: our career and as a creative piece of work. And

1158
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 4: we're working with like a big publisher, so it fucking

1159
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 4: matters that you show up and do a good job

1160
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 4: because we're authors, bitch.

1161
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 3: But also like you can't turn it.

1162
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 4: You can't write two hundred pages at the last hour, no,

1163
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 4: like you know. So it's like, no, it has not worked.

1164
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 4: This is not high school, witch, and we have to

1165
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,320
Speaker 4: Like I'm realizing even with like saying the word perception.

1166
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 4: It's so crazy because I am a feeler and like

1167
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,480
Speaker 4: I do receive information a certain way. I have to

1168
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,879
Speaker 4: be motivated a certain way. So it's like I could

1169
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 4: go through my whole life like doing getting shit done

1170
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:21,280
Speaker 4: good at the last minute. But like as I get older,

1171
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,839
Speaker 4: it's like if someone tells me the right thing, if

1172
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 4: I hear it the right way, then I can shift

1173
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 4: my entire like how I act, how I respond based

1174
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 4: on knowing, Like you can get better, you know, like

1175
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 4: my it could just take one comment to change my

1176
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 4: perception to be like, Okay, let me get this done differently.

1177
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 5: Ah, I was. I thought you were going a different

1178
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 5: direction with that. But the lee's letters work together too,

1179
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 5: and so when you combine an F with the P,

1180
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 5: which you have both an F and a P. Right,

1181
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,879
Speaker 5: those people a lot of times feel like in order

1182
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:57,759
Speaker 5: to get good work done, they need to feel in

1183
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 5: the mood for it, like the setting needs to be right.

1184
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,359
Speaker 5: And my co host is actually she's an FP, she's

1185
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 5: an I n FP, but she's always she was like

1186
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 5: she was, like my big adult lesson this week was

1187
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 5: that I don't have to like feel like doing something.

1188
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 5: I can still do it. I don't know if that

1189
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 5: resonates the.

1190
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 2: Way it does.

1191
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 4: I don't have to because like, just because you don't

1192
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 4: feel like doing it doesn't mean you don't have to

1193
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 4: do it.

1194
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:21,920
Speaker 3: And that's my big thing.

1195
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 4: Like someonemes like bitch, it's not about if you feel

1196
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 4: like sitting down, like you must sit down and do it,

1197
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 4: and in fact, if you actually do that, you will

1198
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 4: produce because you've made yourself do it. It's not about

1199
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 4: like feeling in the mood to write and like.

1200
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 2: I might not I might not produce. I don't know.

1201
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 2: I've tried to for hen't. I can't force certain things

1202
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 2: I can't force. They're just I will literally like I'll.

1203
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 5: Just know, FA fall asleep. I you like you literally, I'm.

1204
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 1: Suddenly exhausted and I need to happen. Then it didn't happen.

1205
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, So a lot of times for fees, it's about

1206
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 5: like setting setting the stage right, like you said me,

1207
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 5: like lighting the candles and like doing maybe the meditation

1208
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 5: first or whatever is you need to do to set

1209
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 5: that mood for producing. Whereas if you have on the

1210
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 5: opposite side of the tjs, which we don't have any here.

1211
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 5: My husband's a TJ. But for them, it's just like no,

1212
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 5: so to the grindstorm, get it over with and then

1213
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 5: you'll feel good, you know, and that's the motivation to

1214
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 5: get something done. So it's just a different mechanism that

1215
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 5: you have to work with. So, Okay, we didn't go

1216
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 5: heavily into that one because it seemed like you guys

1217
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 5: just knew right off the bat on which side you

1218
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 5: were on. But so if this you know, short typing

1219
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 5: session is correct, we have Mila's e n FP and

1220
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 5: Erica's I NTP and again I encourage you to continue

1221
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 5: your journey of this discovering your type past this because

1222
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 5: it's more than just like surface level. Pick really quick

1223
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 5: r E n FP, yeah, A NFP, and then I

1224
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 5: NTP for Erica, and I want to tell you guys

1225
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 5: a little bit about your types and your superpowers and

1226
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 5: what you need and all that tell me, tell me.

1227
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 5: So there's a deeper level to Mars that most people

1228
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 5: don't usually know about because it takes going into it

1229
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 5: a little deeper. It's more than just a surface level

1230
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 5: like introvert extrovert intuition something. And what happens is when

1231
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 5: the letters combine, there's something called cognitive functions, which is

1232
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 5: just like one level deeper, and we each have kind

1233
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 5: of two cognitive functions. I like to use the analogy

1234
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 5: of driving a car. You have these functions that are

1235
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 5: driving your personality car. So if you imagine like a

1236
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 5: family in the car and you have someone in the

1237
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 5: driver's seat that's your driving function. They have the most

1238
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 5: control of the car, they're the most comfortable behind the wheel,

1239
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 5: and then you have a function in the passenger seat

1240
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 5: that's also an adult, and so they can navigate, they

1241
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 5: can give directions. Maybe if things are going awry, they

1242
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 5: can even reach over and control the wheel if they

1243
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 5: need to write, But they're more of a passenger and

1244
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 5: they take a little bit less control. So that's going

1245
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 5: to be your second function. And then in the back

1246
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 5: seat of your car, you have a ten year old

1247
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 5: and you have a three year old, and those functions

1248
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 5: are if you think of kids in the backseat of

1249
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 5: a car, maybe the ten year old can give instructions

1250
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 5: on how to drive to their school, but other than

1251
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 5: that not going to be of great use. And then

1252
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 5: the three year old in the back of the car

1253
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,439
Speaker 5: might even be like a deterrent to safe driving because

1254
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 5: they're shrieking or you know whatever it is. So we

1255
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,440
Speaker 5: have functions in the backseat of our car too that

1256
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 5: are more way, more of an effort for us and

1257
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 5: can even trip us up in our life. So let

1258
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 5: me tell you, guys, about about your functions in your

1259
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 5: personality car And this one, this is interesting. If so, Mela,

1260
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 5: your driving function is something called it's called the technical

1261
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 5: name is extroverted intuition, but I call it imaginative intuition.

1262
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:44,959
Speaker 5: And Erica, that's actually your passenger. Oh, so you guys

1263
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 5: both have this function in the front of your car,

1264
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 5: but it's just more dominant for Mela, and it's more

1265
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 5: of like a kind of back up keeping things moving

1266
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 5: for you, Erica, but it's not your dominant. And what

1267
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 5: this function is all about, it's it's super like pushing

1268
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 5: the boundaries and pushing the norm It's about getting thinking

1269
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 5: outside the box and making connections and exploring new ways

1270
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 5: of doing things. And so I mean, that's incredible that

1271
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 5: you guys can come together and do that, first of

1272
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 5: all in your business, which we see, but also in

1273
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,680
Speaker 5: the unconventional way that you guys have come together to parent,

1274
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 5: right and when we think of like gifts that we

1275
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 5: bring our children, what a gift that you've brought to

1276
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 5: your children to be have found an unconventional way to

1277
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 5: provide them a you know, a family like normal people

1278
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,439
Speaker 5: don't think of a family. It's not like mom, dad

1279
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 5: and you know, two kids. But also you guys are

1280
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 5: probably great at encouraging your kids to think outside the

1281
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 5: box and think for themselves and find new ways to

1282
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 5: do things, problem solve and new ways. So what this

1283
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 5: function needs you guys for self care is lots of

1284
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,479
Speaker 5: opportunities to explore and in new things and new ways.

1285
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 5: I don't know if you found that the pandemic was

1286
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 5: especially hard for you in restricting those things, but that's

1287
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 5: something that needs to be a regular part of your life,

1288
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 5: and the fact that you guys have worked it into

1289
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 5: your careers really means that you're probably getting a lot

1290
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 5: of what you need there.

1291
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure.

1292
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 1: I feel like the pandemic was at first very hard

1293
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:18,920
Speaker 1: for me, like emotion like it was. It hit me

1294
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: in a way I wasn't expecting. I had so much anxiety.

1295
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 1: But then it just allowed me to find to really

1296
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:27,480
Speaker 1: tap more like one hundred percent into what me and

1297
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: Mila do and which is constantly like creating new things

1298
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: and meeting new people and I guess, you know, pushing boundaries,

1299
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 1: I guess, and that fulfills me so much that, Yeah,

1300
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: I feel like being able to do, being able to

1301
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: I always tell like everyone like you, this experience in

1302
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:51,520
Speaker 1: podcasting and in the journey with Jamila has shown me that,

1303
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 1: like you apps like, if you don't love what you do,

1304
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I could never go back now,

1305
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: Like it's so important for me to be able to

1306
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 1: love what I do and also intertwined with my life

1307
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 1: in a way too, like wellness is part of my

1308
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 1: life and it's part of my brand, and it's part

1309
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: of my lifestyle, and it's something that you know, I'm

1310
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: evolving through and I get to like, you know, work

1311
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 1: on myself while you know, speaking to women and you know,

1312
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: gaining perspectives and even talking to you today and learning

1313
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 1: about myself like this is essentially like I'm learning, like

1314
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: I'm it's my job right now is to learn more

1315
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: about myself, which is crazy, like to tap into myself.

1316
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: But whatever that whatever that, I'm sorry, what was that

1317
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:34,480
Speaker 1: was the end in it?

1318
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 2: Right?

1319
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's your It's basically when you combine end with P,

1320
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 5: which both of you guys have N and P. Yeah,

1321
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,920
Speaker 5: and so that's your So that's Erica, it's your co pilot,

1322
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:46,440
Speaker 5: it's your passenger in the car, and Meala it's your driver.

1323
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 5: And it's a very external facing function like exploring with

1324
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 5: the outer world, exploring with other people and getting out there.

1325
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 5: And then let's do since we did Mela's driving function,

1326
01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 5: let's do Erica's driving phone. It's the technical name is

1327
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 5: introverted thinking. I call it precise thinking. So people who

1328
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:09,120
Speaker 5: use this function, they like to they kind of have it.

1329
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 5: It's not about logic as far as like outer rules

1330
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 5: and systems of logic, which is more like the tjs

1331
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 5: are more about like what are the rules, what are

1332
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 5: the convention, what are the you know, can we look

1333
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:22,120
Speaker 5: at it like a chart or a graph to describe this.

1334
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 5: It's more about an inner sense of logic and making

1335
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 5: sure that you are accurate, accurate with your understanding of

1336
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 5: the world. And so these people tend to be pretty

1337
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 5: good problem solvers. And then when you combine it with

1338
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 5: your with your intuition function solving problems in new ways,

1339
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 5: they tend to be really good at recognizing their own

1340
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 5: way of thinking, really good at recognizing their own thought patterns.

1341
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 5: So this is actually it's my third function. So it's

1342
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 5: my ten year old in the backseat. So I actually

1343
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 5: really like using it. It's sometimes our third functions is

1344
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 5: where we go to play. But I'm not very good

1345
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 5: at it because to me, it's like it's for me

1346
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 5: to go just with like a purely objective logic, right

1347
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 5: like I have to you know, look what do other

1348
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 5: people need? That sort of thing, And so being able

1349
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 5: to spend time finding frameworks of logic that you can

1350
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 5: integrate inside of you. Is something that is very energizing

1351
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 5: for this type. So even something like that like astrology

1352
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 5: is like a framework for understanding something. Being able to

1353
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 5: put frameworks to understanding everything in your world is something

1354
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 5: that introverted thinkers or precise thinkers.

1355
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 2: Like to do.

1356
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 5: Okay, and then Miela, we haven't done your person in

1357
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 5: the passenger seat yet. So your passenger seat is something

1358
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 5: called the technical name is introverted feeling, and I call

1359
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 5: it resonant feeling. So it's all about I think we

1360
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 5: talked about this a little bit, but that being driven

1361
01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 5: by your inner values, being in touch with what it

1362
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:55,440
Speaker 5: truly matters to you, and living life authentically through that.

1363
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 5: And it's a function that can have really deep compassion

1364
01:04:59,880 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 5: for or other people because these people tend to feel

1365
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 5: so deeply themselves, they're so in touch with their own emotions,

1366
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 5: they understand they see the individuality in other people and

1367
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 5: that they can have deep emotions or deeply different experiences

1368
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 5: from one another. So a lot of times, yeah, a

1369
01:05:14,920 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 5: lot of times, people with this type to find themselves

1370
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 5: in careers where they're fighting for and helping people who

1371
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 5: can't necessarily help themselves. So whether it's children or animals,

1372
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 5: or the elderly or something like that. My co host

1373
01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 5: leads this as her driving function, and she found herself

1374
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,680
Speaker 5: going into politics to be able to fight for what

1375
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:39,920
Speaker 5: she thinks is right. And she started off as a

1376
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:42,560
Speaker 5: politician herself, and now she's finding she would prefer to

1377
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 5: be on campaigns and help boost other people up.

1378
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 2: But that's cool.

1379
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so again that type needs to be able

1380
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 5: to go into their feelings and sit with their feelings sometimes,

1381
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,200
Speaker 5: and that might be a stretch for you, Emila, as someone

1382
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 5: who prefers to be oriented to your outer world, that

1383
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,480
Speaker 5: sometimes you need to take that time to check in

1384
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 5: and be like, what's going on for me inside? Am

1385
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:03,320
Speaker 5: I acting in line with what I'm feeling?

1386
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:04,080
Speaker 3: For sure?

1387
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 4: I think that's where I'm at, like currently in my life,

1388
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:10,840
Speaker 4: the need of feeling like I need to go inside

1389
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 4: a bit and sit with myself. And it's been challenging

1390
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 4: because it's not in my nature per se, Like it's

1391
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 4: not what I'm generally used to doing, but I'm feeling

1392
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,520
Speaker 4: in my spirit that I need to do that. I've

1393
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 4: been called to do that, but just you know, again

1394
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 4: finding balance in that and finding comfort and things that

1395
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:33,320
Speaker 4: may initially be uncomfortable.

1396
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:36,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, so tell me, do you guys want me to

1397
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 5: go into your back seat functions? I know we're at

1398
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 5: we're over an hour. You guys interested in continuing back

1399
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:43,520
Speaker 5: seat or should we wrap it up and save it

1400
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 5: for another time?

1401
01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know, what do you think? Really? I mean,

1402
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,479
Speaker 2: I think we can. We're here, we might as well.

1403
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 2: I'm interested to know now. I want to know.

1404
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:55,240
Speaker 4: I'm interested in my in my baby because that's one

1405
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 4: that's also can be like a nuisance.

1406
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 3: I need to know.

1407
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:00,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's do the baby funk. The three year old

1408
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 5: in the back seat. It's interesting they call a lot

1409
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,440
Speaker 5: of times people call it the blind spot. Sometimes we

1410
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,920
Speaker 5: aren't even wear how much it trips us up. But

1411
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,840
Speaker 5: sometimes we have like a unique relationship to it where

1412
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:13,040
Speaker 5: we're very attracted to it. We might go through periods

1413
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,960
Speaker 5: of time where we're really going in hard on it

1414
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:19,120
Speaker 5: in not always the most healthy way. Or we can

1415
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 5: be really attracted to partners who have our three year

1416
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 5: old in their front seat. We see someone else doing it, well.

1417
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 2: Put their three year old in the front seat then

1418
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:33,720
Speaker 2: and then they have it. Then they get a three

1419
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 2: year old.

1420
01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 5: Okay, so Meela, your three year old in the back

1421
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:47,080
Speaker 5: seat is something called introverted sensing, which I call preservation sensing,

1422
01:07:47,680 --> 01:07:50,080
Speaker 5: and it's a people who use this function, This is

1423
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,919
Speaker 5: actually the most common function in Myers Briggs to lead

1424
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 5: with and for you, it's your three year old. So

1425
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 5: my dad leads with this function. People who lead with

1426
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 5: this function are really good at consistency and routine. They're

1427
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:05,840
Speaker 5: good at taking the past and bringing it forward, so

1428
01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 5: creating lasting routines that they do each day, maybe slightly

1429
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 5: improved each day. They're really they generally become experts at something.

1430
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,639
Speaker 5: They're the people who stay in the job, the same

1431
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:19,599
Speaker 5: job their whole lives. They're my dad who got dinner

1432
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:21,599
Speaker 5: on the table at the same time every single night.

1433
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:27,800
Speaker 4: Wow, he's a genius, I thock.

1434
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,920
Speaker 3: So that means I have hope. There's hope I can.

1435
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 4: Figure my three year old a little bit more to

1436
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 4: the front seat. If I just tend to my three

1437
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 4: year old in the backseat a little bit more, I

1438
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:41,480
Speaker 4: have the wherewithal to do stuff consistently.

1439
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,600
Speaker 5: You have it in you, it's in your car. But

1440
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:48,120
Speaker 5: also with the self knowledge and self compassion that when

1441
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,480
Speaker 5: we are trying to use our backseat functions. We are stretching,

1442
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 5: we are more exhausted, we are having to do something

1443
01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 5: that's more uncomfortable and tiring for us. And so, you know,

1444
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 5: trying to work in the routine where it's most important

1445
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,560
Speaker 5: to you, but having compassion that you don't want to

1446
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,640
Speaker 5: live your whole life like that because that's going to

1447
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:06,439
Speaker 5: exhaust you.

1448
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 2: So don't ever get organized, Mila.

1449
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 1: Just keep doing what you're doing. You can be exhausted.

1450
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: We're going to get you someone to do it for you.

1451
01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 2: Boo.

1452
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:28,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's also sometimes just recognizing that, like we

1453
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 5: need to outsource our back seat.

1454
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:33,960
Speaker 1: Function, your backat function. We're going to hire her him,

1455
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:35,080
Speaker 1: put him in the front seat.

1456
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 5: You can, you can you can marry your back seat functions,

1457
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:40,040
Speaker 5: or you can hire them.

1458
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1459
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,840
Speaker 5: Sometimes it's easier to hire them because then you don't

1460
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 5: have to like butt up against wanting to do things

1461
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:47,719
Speaker 5: in completely different ways from one another.

1462
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,439
Speaker 1: I can get out of the car every now and

1463
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:51,479
Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh, get out, please get out of

1464
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:51,760
Speaker 1: my car.

1465
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:58,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, Erica, you want to hear your back seat function.

1466
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:00,760
Speaker 5: This is funny because it came up earlier and it

1467
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,400
Speaker 5: didn't occur to me at the moment, maybe because we

1468
01:10:03,439 --> 01:10:06,240
Speaker 5: hadn't finished your type yet. So for IMTPS, their backseat

1469
01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 5: function is called extroverted feeling, which which I call relational feeling.

1470
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:17,439
Speaker 5: And this is about finding what other people's needs and

1471
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:20,600
Speaker 5: meeting them. What is doing stuff for the good of

1472
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:24,320
Speaker 5: the group. It's when you said you hate people pleasing,

1473
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:29,760
Speaker 5: I mean, that's that's essentially what it is, right, It's

1474
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:32,080
Speaker 5: like bringing harmony to the room by taking in the

1475
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:34,120
Speaker 5: vibe of what someone else needs and being what they

1476
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,840
Speaker 5: need for them.

1477
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:38,800
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I guess I have Look, you're not a

1478
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:41,120
Speaker 1: bit well it means that it's hard for me to

1479
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:42,800
Speaker 1: do that though, and I don't tap into that all.

1480
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 3: Oh, oh, never mind, it's false.

1481
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:47,600
Speaker 1: Just like it's hard for you to find organization and

1482
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,440
Speaker 1: you don't do it all the time, but it's possible.

1483
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:53,680
Speaker 1: But it feels uncomfortable, And yeah, I guess it does

1484
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 1: feel uncofortable. It feels uncomfortable to sometimes I guess not

1485
01:10:57,200 --> 01:11:04,360
Speaker 1: choose myself because I feel like you do a disservice

1486
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:06,439
Speaker 1: to yourself when you do that. Not that you can't

1487
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:10,240
Speaker 1: obviously consider people and take care of people and nurture people,

1488
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 1: but I guess I definitely have a very clear hierarchy

1489
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,479
Speaker 1: of like the things in my life and the people,

1490
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:23,120
Speaker 1: and I'm number one, and I don't I don't think

1491
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 1: I've always been that way, but like actually now then

1492
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 1: thinking about it, yes I have. And when I wasn't,

1493
01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 1: I was like very sad and like tired, like tired.

1494
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,439
Speaker 1: But I know that it's good to know that, Like

1495
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I know that, like I can tap into that,

1496
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:41,519
Speaker 1: and I am like a loving and giving person and

1497
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 1: a nurturing friend. But I also know that, like I've

1498
01:11:44,479 --> 01:11:48,519
Speaker 1: had to learn how to I guess even learn how

1499
01:11:48,600 --> 01:11:54,000
Speaker 1: to express emotions to I think I'm trying to say

1500
01:11:54,280 --> 01:11:58,719
Speaker 1: is that, for example, like women, me and friendship.

1501
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,240
Speaker 2: My friendships with women have bloss.

1502
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,559
Speaker 1: Over the last i'd say, four to five years based

1503
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:05,880
Speaker 1: on this podcast and based on just like understanding like

1504
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 1: just how to like be more vulnerable in spaces like

1505
01:12:10,479 --> 01:12:13,800
Speaker 1: like this and in general have helpen me up to

1506
01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:15,479
Speaker 1: that three year old in the back seat more.

1507
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 5: Yeah. Part of this function is recognizing that disclosing about

1508
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:23,120
Speaker 5: yourself helps with connection and helps other people disclose with you.

1509
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:26,640
Speaker 2: That makes sense, yeah.

1510
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so these are totally accessible parts of ourselves

1511
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 5: but with you know, you think of them as like

1512
01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 5: the vitamin you take each day, not the meals and

1513
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 5: like routine that you're keeping each day. It's like you

1514
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:39,640
Speaker 5: need to make sure you have a little dose of

1515
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:41,679
Speaker 5: your three year old each day to stay in balance.

1516
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 5: But don't expect yourself to do it all the time

1517
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 5: because you're not going to be in your You need

1518
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:46,720
Speaker 5: to do what fills you up, which is what's in

1519
01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 5: your front seat. But that's sometimes we need to go

1520
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:51,000
Speaker 5: to our back seat to balance and make sure that

1521
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,160
Speaker 5: we're able to maintain relationships, that we're able to maintain

1522
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,800
Speaker 5: our own physical health. For some of us, things in

1523
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:59,040
Speaker 5: the back seat affect our physical health and all that.

1524
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:03,120
Speaker 4: Ten year olds harder to access, but a little more

1525
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:05,439
Speaker 4: easy to access because they are more.

1526
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:08,800
Speaker 5: Verbal exactly, so it's a little easier to access than

1527
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 5: the three year old, but it is still something that

1528
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:15,160
Speaker 5: can create attention point. So like, okay, okay, let's do

1529
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:18,599
Speaker 5: the ten year olds. So Mila, your ten year old

1530
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:22,759
Speaker 5: in the back seat is something called extroverted thinking, which

1531
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:27,280
Speaker 5: I call effective thinking, and it is getting putting control

1532
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:30,920
Speaker 5: over your outer world to make it run smoothly. So

1533
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 5: it's delegating it's making that to do list, it's putting

1534
01:13:36,479 --> 01:13:39,280
Speaker 5: things in motion that will create long term progress.

1535
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:41,400
Speaker 3: I like long term progress.

1536
01:13:41,680 --> 01:13:44,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, And a lot of times there's all these little

1537
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:47,400
Speaker 5: like complications and stuff that when it comes to type

1538
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:51,320
Speaker 5: and nuances. But a lot of times sometimes we actually

1539
01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:53,920
Speaker 5: skip we we love our We love our front seat,

1540
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,960
Speaker 5: our like our driver, right, we love that function the most.

1541
01:13:57,280 --> 01:14:01,800
Speaker 5: Sometimes we actually skip our passenger and go to our

1542
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:05,240
Speaker 5: ten year old instead, because our ten year old keeps

1543
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:08,360
Speaker 5: us in the same extroverted or introverted world. So if

1544
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:10,000
Speaker 5: you're an extrovert, your ten year old keeps you in

1545
01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:12,559
Speaker 5: your extroverted world. And if you're an introvert, your ten

1546
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:14,799
Speaker 5: year old keeps you in your introverted world. So sometimes

1547
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:17,360
Speaker 5: we skip our copilot because our copilot actually makes us

1548
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:22,000
Speaker 5: go to the opposite world. So like for you, Mila,

1549
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:24,639
Speaker 5: you know you as an extrovert overall, if you wanted

1550
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:27,000
Speaker 5: to use your copilot, your copilot was introverted feeling, you

1551
01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:29,680
Speaker 5: have to go inside to see how you're feeling. But

1552
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:33,400
Speaker 5: you're extroverted. Ten year old extroverted thinking keeps you in

1553
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:36,400
Speaker 5: your outer world doing and getting things done. So sometimes

1554
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:38,960
Speaker 5: we'll skip over that when it's really important that we

1555
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:42,200
Speaker 5: actually make time for that co pilot or the passenger.

1556
01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:45,240
Speaker 4: Wow, this is so interesting. It's like the horse. What

1557
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:47,479
Speaker 4: do you call it, Erica, like the astrology of the

1558
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:49,360
Speaker 4: cerebral cerebral.

1559
01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:54,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like cerebral astrology. That's a great I love that. Okay,

1560
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:57,439
Speaker 5: And then Erica's ten year old is let's see, your

1561
01:14:57,439 --> 01:14:59,920
Speaker 5: first one's introverted thinking, your second one is extra intrusion.

1562
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:02,880
Speaker 5: So your third, your third place or your ten year

1563
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:07,559
Speaker 5: old is the same thing that was Mela's three year old,

1564
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:12,080
Speaker 5: which was the introverted sensing, or I call it preservation sensing.

1565
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:15,600
Speaker 5: And it's about routine and it's about taking care of

1566
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:19,439
Speaker 5: the practical needs. And so this might be something that

1567
01:15:19,479 --> 01:15:22,680
Speaker 5: maybe you skip over your extroverted function to come to

1568
01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:28,360
Speaker 5: this place, probably of creating the routine. And sometimes people

1569
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:30,639
Speaker 5: who use this in a less healthy way can get

1570
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:33,800
Speaker 5: stuck in sameness when what they need to do is

1571
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:37,200
Speaker 5: go to their passenger seat and explore and do things

1572
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:37,800
Speaker 5: in new ways.

1573
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:40,040
Speaker 2: That's so cool, it's interesting.

1574
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:42,639
Speaker 3: This give a different perspective on yourself.

1575
01:15:43,160 --> 01:15:45,640
Speaker 1: I have a question, can you use Meyer brig like

1576
01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:48,120
Speaker 1: not Myron, not can you but like would you say

1577
01:15:48,120 --> 01:15:52,120
Speaker 1: that there's different personality types or I guess for like

1578
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:56,599
Speaker 1: people that maybe struggle with addiction, or I don't know,

1579
01:15:56,720 --> 01:16:00,320
Speaker 1: like certain things like how does this like do they

1580
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:04,160
Speaker 1: take into consideration like trauma that's happened or occurred or

1581
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:06,439
Speaker 1: these just like do you know what I'm saying?

1582
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:08,000
Speaker 2: Like is this can it be used?

1583
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:11,519
Speaker 5: I think? So? We're born with our type. Our type

1584
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:14,520
Speaker 5: stays the same through our lives. However how we express

1585
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:19,480
Speaker 5: it can change based on traumas, based on life experience,

1586
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:23,040
Speaker 5: based on how much self growth we've done, And it

1587
01:16:23,080 --> 01:16:25,439
Speaker 5: can be a really good lens to look at things

1588
01:16:25,479 --> 01:16:29,759
Speaker 5: like addiction through so like there any type can become addicted,

1589
01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,879
Speaker 5: but there are different reasons why you might become addicted

1590
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,840
Speaker 5: and maybe different things that can help you out of it,

1591
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,640
Speaker 5: and understanding your type can help you with that.

1592
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:39,800
Speaker 1: Can you change or is you like this is this

1593
01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:42,400
Speaker 1: would be it forever? Like there's no this is like

1594
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:45,800
Speaker 1: it stays the same. Is true nature just like your

1595
01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:47,720
Speaker 1: natal charge. This is like how I have to like

1596
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:48,920
Speaker 1: reason it in my brain.

1597
01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:50,960
Speaker 5: This is your it's your true nature. And it doesn't

1598
01:16:50,960 --> 01:16:54,080
Speaker 5: mean you can't change as a person obviously, Like I'm

1599
01:16:54,160 --> 01:16:56,519
Speaker 5: a completely different person than I was ten years ago.

1600
01:16:56,520 --> 01:16:58,920
Speaker 5: Maybe not completely different, but I have changed a lot,

1601
01:16:58,920 --> 01:17:02,000
Speaker 5: I have grown a lot, but I still have these

1602
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 5: same tendencies. I've always had a tendency toward introversion, always

1603
01:17:05,280 --> 01:17:07,439
Speaker 5: had a tendency toward intuition. I've always had a tendency

1604
01:17:07,439 --> 01:17:09,799
Speaker 5: towards feeling, and I've always had a tendency towards judging.

1605
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:12,200
Speaker 5: But I can learn to stretch to the other sides

1606
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:17,639
Speaker 5: in different ways and grow grow all of my functions. Yeah, okay,

1607
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:20,200
Speaker 5: it's kind of like being right handed, Like you're always

1608
01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 5: right handed, even if you train your even if you

1609
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:23,840
Speaker 5: break your right hand and you train yourself to use

1610
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 5: your left hand, once your right hand heels, you're probably

1611
01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:27,800
Speaker 5: going to go back to it because it's just still mine.

1612
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Wow, this has been so insightful. I'm

1613
01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:33,240
Speaker 2: so interested. I'm going to do more research on I

1614
01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:35,560
Speaker 2: wrote my what What the hell am I supposed to

1615
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:36,120
Speaker 2: call this thing?

1616
01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:38,200
Speaker 3: Your myer's break?

1617
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:42,639
Speaker 1: I know, but like evaluation, you're tight type down, your

1618
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:45,719
Speaker 1: type type down, And I'm going to do more research

1619
01:17:45,760 --> 01:17:49,960
Speaker 1: on it because I feel like I maybe it's the

1620
01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:52,760
Speaker 1: what is the what is my ten year old it's

1621
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:55,200
Speaker 1: the ten year old in me. I need to understand

1622
01:17:55,240 --> 01:17:58,120
Speaker 1: this more and have put structure around it so I

1623
01:17:58,120 --> 01:18:02,080
Speaker 1: can better assess this and my recent natal chart reading.

1624
01:18:03,960 --> 01:18:05,960
Speaker 3: And I'm going to apply it to your personal life.

1625
01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:10,800
Speaker 1: Applies to my personal life because you know, I like

1626
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:13,280
Speaker 1: life's mysteries, but I also like to get a peek

1627
01:18:13,280 --> 01:18:16,120
Speaker 1: inside the future and who I am in some way,

1628
01:18:16,240 --> 01:18:18,800
Speaker 1: like okay, not the future, but like just a better

1629
01:18:18,880 --> 01:18:21,639
Speaker 1: understanding of like hmm, if all these things are true,

1630
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:24,360
Speaker 1: then you might follow this over on this part of

1631
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:26,000
Speaker 1: the spectrum or this part of the you.

1632
01:18:25,960 --> 01:18:28,960
Speaker 2: Know, the space. So it's so interesting.

1633
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:30,920
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for taking the time to walk

1634
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:34,280
Speaker 1: us through all of this and you know, explain everything

1635
01:18:34,320 --> 01:18:34,920
Speaker 1: so thoroughly.

1636
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:36,360
Speaker 2: I think it's really really interesting.

1637
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:39,040
Speaker 1: I want to encourage everyone to go take their Myerbriggs

1638
01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:42,559
Speaker 1: evaluation and find out and message us. Let us know

1639
01:18:42,560 --> 01:18:45,840
Speaker 1: what you guys are, because I'm interested to know now.

1640
01:18:45,960 --> 01:18:48,519
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, And I just want to caution people

1641
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:51,680
Speaker 5: there are lots of quizzes out there online and just

1642
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,160
Speaker 5: you can take the quizzes because it's fun, but don't

1643
01:18:54,240 --> 01:18:56,840
Speaker 5: rely on your result because the quizzes are not great

1644
01:18:57,040 --> 01:18:59,479
Speaker 5: at being accurate. It's a lot more about that self

1645
01:18:59,479 --> 01:19:02,799
Speaker 5: reflection and really understanding the model and really understanding yourself.

1646
01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:05,479
Speaker 5: The quizes are a good start, but never ever take

1647
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:06,160
Speaker 5: that as truth.

1648
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,160
Speaker 1: So what's the best way to then do it is

1649
01:19:08,200 --> 01:19:10,759
Speaker 1: talk to somebody like you that really.

1650
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:12,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like this, or to really do the reasearch

1651
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,240
Speaker 5: you really understand the model.

1652
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:16,840
Speaker 1: We can really break it down and share personal experience

1653
01:19:16,880 --> 01:19:19,200
Speaker 1: and really get a true understanding versus just a one

1654
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:21,320
Speaker 1: word answer that determines you know.

1655
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:24,519
Speaker 5: So yeah, when you're taking I mean everyone has that

1656
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:27,320
Speaker 5: experience when they take those quizzes where it's like I'm

1657
01:19:27,320 --> 01:19:29,200
Speaker 5: both of these or it depends, and so being able

1658
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:32,519
Speaker 5: to talk that it depends through with someone is really helpful.

1659
01:19:32,720 --> 01:19:33,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. True.

1660
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:36,960
Speaker 2: So where can all of our tribe find you?

1661
01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 5: I'm Family Personalities everywhere on Instagram, Facebook, My podcast is

1662
01:19:42,479 --> 01:19:46,200
Speaker 5: Family Personalities. I have a free download if people are interested, like,

1663
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:48,760
Speaker 5: if you've been thinking through this what your child's type is?

1664
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:52,200
Speaker 5: I have free download to start trying to figure that

1665
01:19:52,200 --> 01:19:55,240
Speaker 5: out at Family personalities dot com, slash downloads and actually

1666
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:58,040
Speaker 5: creating an online course right now where people can figure

1667
01:19:58,080 --> 01:20:00,760
Speaker 5: out their kids type. It's not yet, but you can

1668
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:02,519
Speaker 5: go to Family Personalities dot com and get on the

1669
01:20:02,520 --> 01:20:06,800
Speaker 5: newsletter and I will notify you through that when it's done.

1670
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,120
Speaker 4: Awesome, that's amazing, And I got to find out lunas

1671
01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:14,320
Speaker 4: do you find that people like are in relationships, Like

1672
01:20:14,400 --> 01:20:18,320
Speaker 4: there's a combination of specific relationships that are common together

1673
01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:20,640
Speaker 4: or like I mean, I know you said sometimes your

1674
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:23,320
Speaker 4: three year old is in the is someone your days

1675
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:26,080
Speaker 4: and they're like, I wonder how how common and true

1676
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:26,559
Speaker 4: that is?

1677
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:26,800
Speaker 3: You know?

1678
01:20:27,439 --> 01:20:30,840
Speaker 5: Like that we find I've seen every different pairing. I

1679
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:34,160
Speaker 5: think sometimes we're attracted to our opposites, especially when we're younger.

1680
01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:36,960
Speaker 5: I would say my parents are a complete opposite of

1681
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:39,920
Speaker 5: each other on Myers Briggs. My dad is I STJ

1682
01:20:40,040 --> 01:20:43,479
Speaker 5: and my mom is E NFP, and they just like

1683
01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:45,880
Speaker 5: are at each other all the time because they just

1684
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,519
Speaker 5: don't get each other. But they also balance each other

1685
01:20:48,560 --> 01:20:51,000
Speaker 5: out so well as a partnership in life because one

1686
01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:53,400
Speaker 5: of them their strengths is the other person's weakness and

1687
01:20:53,479 --> 01:20:55,760
Speaker 5: vice versa. So you kind of see it all over

1688
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:57,360
Speaker 5: the place. I've seen people who are the exact same

1689
01:20:57,400 --> 01:21:00,760
Speaker 5: type together. My husband and I I'm ian FJ, he's

1690
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,840
Speaker 5: I INTJ, so we're very similar and we are driver

1691
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:06,160
Speaker 5: is actually the same, and I think we connected because

1692
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:10,479
Speaker 5: we really that main thing that drives our car. Really,

1693
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:13,080
Speaker 5: it's also the rarest function in Myers brigs, and we

1694
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:14,720
Speaker 5: both happen to drive with it, and so I think

1695
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:16,160
Speaker 5: we connected on that level.

1696
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 3: It's so amazing.

1697
01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:20,960
Speaker 1: Well, now one day when I find a partner, I

1698
01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:23,759
Speaker 1: would be like, what's your natal chart, what's your Meyers brigs?

1699
01:21:23,840 --> 01:21:27,000
Speaker 1: I need to know all of them.

1700
01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:30,840
Speaker 5: You need to do Anyagram? Next? What are called nyagram?

1701
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:31,040
Speaker 3: Oh?

1702
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:32,440
Speaker 5: You guys haven't heard of anyagram?

1703
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:33,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1704
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:36,400
Speaker 5: Oh it's so good. It's there's seven numbers and it's

1705
01:21:36,439 --> 01:21:39,960
Speaker 5: basically I'm not trained in anyagram, but I just love it.

1706
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:42,599
Speaker 5: It's basically like kind of the defense mechanism that you

1707
01:21:42,640 --> 01:21:45,439
Speaker 5: walk through life with, or like your core motivation that

1708
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,720
Speaker 5: like developed when you were younger and you carry it

1709
01:21:47,760 --> 01:21:51,080
Speaker 5: forward in your shit. It's like it's deep shit, Like

1710
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:53,720
Speaker 5: I I found my type in it. I think I

1711
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:55,519
Speaker 5: mentioned it like broke me and then I had to

1712
01:21:55,520 --> 01:21:57,760
Speaker 5: put myself back together. But I've grown so much through

1713
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:02,600
Speaker 5: understanding it interesting and instag Yeah, I talk about that

1714
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:04,280
Speaker 5: one of my podcasts too. Though I'm not trained in

1715
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:05,120
Speaker 5: it yet yet.

1716
01:22:05,280 --> 01:22:09,200
Speaker 3: Okay, she's coming. I can't wait. I can't wait. Go

1717
01:22:09,280 --> 01:22:11,320
Speaker 3: get that, go go find out so you can come

1718
01:22:11,360 --> 01:22:14,200
Speaker 3: and tell us again. Okay, thank you so.

1719
01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:17,160
Speaker 4: Much for coming on and chatting with us and giving

1720
01:22:17,240 --> 01:22:21,280
Speaker 4: us better perspective into who we are. I will see

1721
01:22:21,280 --> 01:22:23,120
Speaker 4: you guys next week. You know where to find us.

1722
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:27,160
Speaker 4: We're at Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram and

1723
01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:30,880
Speaker 4: Good Mom's Bad Choices dot Com on their internet. We

1724
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:35,240
Speaker 4: just launched our retreat dates for twenty twenty two, so

1725
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:38,680
Speaker 4: check that out and if you have things, and if

1726
01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:41,400
Speaker 4: you haven't already, sign up for our Patreon because we

1727
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:43,679
Speaker 4: have a lot of cool stuff over there, and that's

1728
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:46,920
Speaker 4: Patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: See you guys next week.

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Speaker 6: Ellaj Solo Recorder Lalo. Then let's us say us Zula

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Speaker 6: servings the Mills and don't do so. Then the Storm

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Speaker 6: the Mills cover Incurse

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Speaker 2: Fo the first first Food, the first first Foo, First

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Speaker 2: yet know why that co