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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Jay Schetty, host of On Purpose. On the

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Speaker 1: newest episode of my podcast, we have an extremely special

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Speaker 1: interview with Matthew McConaughey. Matthew opens up in a way

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Speaker 1: you've never heard before. We talk about identity, purpose, failure, risk, relationships,

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Speaker 1: and the parts of his journey he's never shared. If

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Speaker 1: you've ever felt stuck, lost, or in transition, this episode

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Speaker 1: is for you. You won't want to miss this one.

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Speaker 1: Listen to On Purpose with Jay Schetty on the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Speaker 2: Action was called the Day You Were Born, and cut

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Speaker 2: will be called the Day You What are you doing live?

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Speaker 2: Is that worth the show?

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Speaker 1: Hey? Everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you

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Speaker 1: come to become the happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's

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Speaker 1: guest is someone whose life and work have inspired millions

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Speaker 1: around the world. Also someone that I've had the fortune

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Speaker 1: of talking to digitally, but the first time having him

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Speaker 1: physically in this studio. We've crossed parts many a time,

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Speaker 1: but I'm so grateful to have in the studio the

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Speaker 1: one and only Matthew McConaughey, an Academy Award winning actor,

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Speaker 1: author and storyteller who has spent decades exploring what it

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Speaker 1: means to live with intention, courage, and heart. His new book,

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Speaker 1: Poems and Prayers is a reflection of that journey and

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Speaker 1: invitation to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome to on Purpose, Matthew McConaughey.

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Speaker 2: Good to be here with you.

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Speaker 1: Matthew. It's great to be here with you. I always

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Speaker 1: love our conversations, even when I find us at a

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Speaker 1: conference in Texas or at a party. We always seem

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Speaker 1: to find a way or you always seem to find

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Speaker 1: a way to cut right through it. And then you'll

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Speaker 1: ask me this question of something you've been thinking about,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll share this, and we just always get

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Speaker 1: into these really profound conversations. And today I was excited.

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Speaker 1: I was really looking forward to it because I thought,

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Speaker 1: now we get to do it with a bit more time.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we've had many conversations we didn get to finish today.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we finished that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely absolutely. I wanted to ask you, Matthew, like

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Speaker 1: when you when you think about your life right now,

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Speaker 1: you do so much. You were just talking about all

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Speaker 1: the projects and travel and everything. If you ever get

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Speaker 1: a day that has no plan, no schedule, no timeline,

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Speaker 1: no phone, no commitments. What does that look like for you?

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Speaker 2: I don't get many of those, and I need to

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Speaker 2: my hunches. I need to learn to get meant more

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Speaker 2: of those, and when I get them, I can be

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Speaker 2: better at them because I have a love of accomplishment

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Speaker 2: to even feel a significance for the day. You know,

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Speaker 2: I sleep better when I have a purpose and I

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Speaker 2: went after something, even if it's just building something and

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Speaker 2: I'm still learning. I've got to remind myself now I

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Speaker 2: used to be better at it. Actually to I just

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Speaker 2: go daydream mosey. Let's take everything's go swing by today.

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Speaker 2: That's one thing. I've quit calling appointment to appointments and

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Speaker 2: call them swing buys, and all of a sudden, I

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Speaker 2: find I get just as much done. But I'm just

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Speaker 2: it's just in my dance day. But if I have

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Speaker 2: one full day off, I will get my nine and

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Speaker 2: a half hour sleep, which is preferred, which means maybe

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Speaker 2: I sleep till nine thirty. I'll get up, take my time,

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Speaker 2: Mosey down. If Camilla was up, my wife was up

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Speaker 2: before me. She'll have left me a Mancha tea. If

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Speaker 2: if she wasn't or had to rush out the door.

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Speaker 2: I'll go make that tea while the water's boiling. I'll

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Speaker 2: I'll go probably do eight pieces of a puzzle, which

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Speaker 2: is a wonderful way I love to start my day.

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Speaker 2: I'm that slow simple eight little connections you rhymed eight

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Speaker 2: different things, very simple. Now, I'll usually head out to

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Speaker 2: the maybe the front porch, have that first tea, catch

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Speaker 2: hopefully catch fifteen minutes of some morning sun face. Then

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Speaker 2: I'll catch up on the on the world's news, what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I'll do my word or a couple of simple

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Speaker 2: little things. I'm gonna try and play tennis somewhere in

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Speaker 2: the day. I'm gonna try and break a sweat somewhere

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Speaker 2: during the day. I'll take some project or something that

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Speaker 2: I'm working on or writing with me, maybe too my

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Speaker 2: gym and have one of those lazy little two and

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Speaker 2: a half hour workouts where you kind of stop and

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Speaker 2: write some things and then you kind of strip hop

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Speaker 2: back into it. And then I'm probably gonna cook dinner

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Speaker 2: that night when i don't have anything going on, so

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Speaker 2: either I'm going to get the rabbis and rub them

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Speaker 2: down in my rub and have everything, or I'm going

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Speaker 2: to do tune of melts for the family that night,

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Speaker 2: and then kids and every won't come home. We'll usually

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Speaker 2: hang I'm picking. I'm saying this day that I have

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Speaker 2: off as a school day, and we'll hang catch up.

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Speaker 2: On days after that, maybe the family will all go

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Speaker 2: catch something one of our favorite shows. We'll go watch

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Speaker 2: an hour and if we will start early enough, maybe

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Speaker 2: we get two episodes. Kids go down, then cool and

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Speaker 2: I get to hang and for the last couple hours

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Speaker 2: of the evening. That'd be. That'd be a mosey through

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Speaker 2: my a day day.

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Speaker 1: Nice. I love that. Yeah, how obviously the mindset of

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Speaker 1: achievement and purpose and growth has served you so well.

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Speaker 1: But there's a part of you that sounds like I

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Speaker 1: would like more days like this. Where does that come from?

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Speaker 2: I love to be on task. I love to have

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Speaker 2: something that I'm building and reaching to finish and do.

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Speaker 2: I love the building of that. I've started a lot

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Speaker 2: of the campfires in my life that I'm still building,

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Speaker 2: and I have plenty to fill my twenty four hour days.

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Speaker 2: At the same time, I want to keep learning and

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Speaker 2: be inspired by something new, you know, pick up something

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Speaker 2: that I didn't like I just picked up tennis four

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Speaker 2: years ago. I didn't I noticed. I said, you hadn't

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Speaker 2: had a hobby for twenty five years. McConaughey, You found

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Speaker 2: your first hobby. I thought writing was a hobby, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, no, that's actually not a hobby. You know,

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Speaker 2: but to find to be open to finding a new hobby,

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Speaker 2: a new to go somewhere or not, I don't know

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Speaker 2: where going. It's going for a walk to no destination

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Speaker 2: in particular, you know, to lose track of time with

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Speaker 2: success and with a busy life. And I got a

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Speaker 2: full life and I got a family and I got

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Speaker 2: a career. Ay. My hunch is that while that can

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Speaker 2: fill my days completely for my own evolution and art,

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Speaker 2: just to make sure I can still have that beginner's

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Speaker 2: mind where I can deck, go deck, go daydream for

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Speaker 2: nothing in particular, go go go, go where your nose

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Speaker 2: takes shit, you know what I mean? Or go where

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Speaker 2: your ears take you. Follow that to give my to

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Speaker 2: make sure I'm giving myself time to let that happen.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a good. I think it's a good.

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Speaker 2: It always seems to pay off, and it never looked

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Speaker 2: at it as like time not well spent, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. But in the time, I can get

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Speaker 2: a little bit anxious and be like, let's do let's

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Speaker 2: get ahead on that thing, you know, let's let's bring

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Speaker 2: that thing that you were supposed to have done next Friday,

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Speaker 2: the water. If we got that done now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can relate to that. I can. I can

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Speaker 1: relate to that, and I can see it too, and

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Speaker 1: how easy it is as someone who loves what they

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Speaker 1: do and loves creating and building, and I fully get it.

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Speaker 2: That's I mean, there's the upside, and I'm not over

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Speaker 2: here bitching about that. I'm happy to have things in

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Speaker 2: my life that I love to build and do. My

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Speaker 2: wife knows it. I'm probably most happy. It's probably obvious

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Speaker 2: when I'm when I'm working, when I have when I

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Speaker 2: have a schedule, when I have a day that is

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Speaker 2: this many hours or twelve hours, or I just got

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Speaker 2: through shooting something for two months and then boot hopped

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Speaker 2: off next day, when're shooting something for three days. I

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Speaker 2: love that. I sleep well. The food tastes a little

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Speaker 2: better to me that night. That cocktail that panelonas on

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Speaker 2: ice tastes better that night. I'm actually I think have

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Speaker 2: more time, and I am a better father to my kids,

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Speaker 2: the conversations, and I'm more present when I have that

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Speaker 2: sense of accomplishment through the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's You've written so many chapters, You've lived so

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Speaker 1: many chapters. What would this chapter of your life be called?

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Speaker 2: Who? That's a great question. So I'm just turned fifty

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Speaker 2: six and forties were my favorite decade. I think I

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Speaker 2: really customized and I found that to be true for

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Speaker 2: a lot of people, especially a lot of the men

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Speaker 2: I talked to. The man forties, Oh you get rid

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Speaker 2: of all that stuff where you're wasting your time and

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Speaker 2: you're honing in on the stuff that turns you on. Look, fifties,

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Speaker 2: I'm still in the early The first first few years

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Speaker 2: of fifties were a little wobbly for me. So you go, oh,

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Speaker 2: is this that midlife crisis? And I go, what is that?

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Speaker 2: I don't like the word crisis on that sounds like

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Speaker 2: a mid life for lack of a better word, opportunity

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Speaker 2: that you just it's a time where, for whatever reason,

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Speaker 2: man looks back and goes, what have I done? And

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Speaker 2: now where am I going? And I think my hunch

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Speaker 2: is that most people go through what they call a

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Speaker 2: midlife crisis. And if it's hard for them or not

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Speaker 2: healthy for them, it's because maybe they're not giving enough

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Speaker 2: credit to what they actually have done to get there.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like, oh, no, I did that done? Next,

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Speaker 2: you know, like we're talking about me, need more accomplishment.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute. Sometimes it's all right to go, what

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Speaker 2: did you do back there that? Actually you're still building?

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Speaker 2: What if we take that to another level? Put another

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Speaker 2: log on that fire? My goal when I hit the fifties,

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Speaker 2: my goal, it came to me, was like, hey, you're

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Speaker 2: an actor. You play a character in someone else's script,

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Speaker 2: someone else wrote, directed by someone else, lensed in a

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Speaker 2: camera from someone else, and edited by someone else before

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Speaker 2: your performance is shared. And I love acting, but I go,

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Speaker 2: there's four filters of my raw expression before it's getting

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Speaker 2: to you. We were talking about this before we got

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Speaker 2: on camera. Today you go on stage, boo, it's direct.

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Speaker 2: This is pretty direct, But there's still a filter here,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Writing there's still one filters.

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Speaker 2: But that's when I headed into writing is I wanted

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Speaker 2: to get rid of three of the filters. And that's

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Speaker 2: when I said, oh, what if I write the word.

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Speaker 2: Can I pull off and give someone translate the human

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Speaker 2: experience where the people can see themselves through words? Can

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Speaker 2: I paint a picture of my own experiences which someone

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Speaker 2: else can go, Oh, I've been there, I know what

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Speaker 2: you're talking about. But that's still a filter. So the

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Speaker 2: challenge I've been that that keeps just gnawing at me

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Speaker 2: since I've turned fifty, is like, what's your documentary? What

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Speaker 2: are you doing? Are you a character in life? In

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Speaker 2: the big show? The one there? Our action was called

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Speaker 2: The Day You Were Born and cut will be called

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Speaker 2: The Day You Die? What? What are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Live?

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Speaker 2: Is that worth the show? Is it entertaining? Is it educational?

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Speaker 2: Is it? Is it fulfilling? Is it? Does it turn

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Speaker 2: you on? Could it turn other people? Put people on?

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Speaker 2: What's happened? That's that's now we're talking no filters, and

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Speaker 2: so I've started to question myself, going what's your let's

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Speaker 2: let's let's think about to you as there other avenues

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Speaker 2: for you to live live instead of doing someone else's script.

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Speaker 2: What's your script? Now? That's led me to think about

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Speaker 2: different ways of leadership. It's led me to write more.

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Speaker 2: It's also led me to go on the hard days

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Speaker 2: to give myself a little amnesty and go, dude, take

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Speaker 2: a little wisdom from Bob Dylan. You are what you

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Speaker 2: create yourself to be. Maybe if you feel more live

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Speaker 2: acting in a show through a character, well, pravo, that's

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Speaker 2: still you. No lact like that's not used, and get

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Speaker 2: to your real self. Abby. You are to be the creation.

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Speaker 2: And it's okay if I'm gonna go play a part.

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Speaker 2: We're all playing a part? Are we playing? If we

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Speaker 2: can get to a part that is essentially close to

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Speaker 2: the essentially who we are, bravo for us. If we can't,

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Speaker 2: we're having trouble doing that. If we can play a

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Speaker 2: part that we're good at and shows a piece and

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Speaker 2: translates to show a piece of humanity, turns other people

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Speaker 2: in and us on, even though it may not be

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Speaker 2: coorly who, well, bravo for getting away with that one too,

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Speaker 2: you know. But play one at a time is another.

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Speaker 2: There's another little tip I have to remind myself because

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Speaker 2: the great performers, whether I think in life or enacting,

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Speaker 2: you know, they can play any part, they can be

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Speaker 2: any creation, but they're always one at a time. And

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Speaker 2: that's where some patience has come in. That's where a

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Speaker 2: bit of that, Hey, don't rush to accomplish, play one

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Speaker 2: part at a time. But as life gets big and

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Speaker 2: you've got a career and you've got a family, there's

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Speaker 2: many parts to play, you know, father, husband, performer, you know,

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Speaker 2: or writer, whatever those are. But as you know, with

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Speaker 2: practice those all that instead of feeling like five different

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Speaker 2: hats you gotta wear one day, you go, that's all

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Speaker 2: part of the same story. That's all part of the

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Speaker 2: same man I am.

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Speaker 1: So the chapter would be called one one at a time.

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Speaker 2: The chapter would be called I wish it was caued

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Speaker 2: sometimes I think it should be called one at a time.

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Speaker 1: Along.

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Speaker 2: My long answer to what would the chapter be would be, uh,

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Speaker 2: I we've got a I opened up eight lanes to

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Speaker 2: about twelve lanes. When you open up two more lanes

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Speaker 2: and you've been comfortable on these eight and you know

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Speaker 2: them well, well, there's a little growing pains with getting

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Speaker 2: comfortable in those other new lanes without disregarding my eighth

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Speaker 2: that I've built, that I've built that I'm comfortable in,

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Speaker 2: you know. So I would say four more lanes. It's

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Speaker 2: called that chapter. It's called four more lanes, one more lanes.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting listening to you because I think you've highlighted

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Speaker 1: a really interesting human trait that we all possess, where

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Speaker 1: when we achieve something and it's no longer useful, we

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Speaker 1: start to denigrade it. So, for example, if I think

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Speaker 1: a certain mindset is going to help me at this

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Speaker 1: point in my life, I'll use it. It will get me

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Speaker 1: to where I want to get to, and then when

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Speaker 1: I get there, I'll go I didn't like that mindset.

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Speaker 1: I wish I was this way, And we kind of

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Speaker 1: do that time and time again, and I assume decade

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Speaker 1: by decade where we reject the thing that got us

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Speaker 1: here and don't value it because now it isn't what

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Speaker 1: the new world looks like it's like and making it

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Speaker 1: very basic. A crude example is, oh, I used I

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Speaker 1: thought that was cool to wear, and now ten years

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Speaker 1: later I look back and I think I was a

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Speaker 1: wearing that, Like I'm crazy, right, But think about that

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Speaker 1: on an internal soul level, of the mindsets we wear

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Speaker 1: and the behaviors we wear, and like taking a moment,

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Speaker 1: as you said, to give yourself that amnesty to say.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah, and to and to make sense of human

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Speaker 2: the default emotion when you look back in your embarrass

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Speaker 2: or something you did that actually got you what you

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Speaker 2: wanted to go, you know, to go instead of judging it,

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Speaker 2: at least start off giggling at it. It helps with

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Speaker 2: the amnesty. It also helps change a gear and go oh,

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Speaker 2: the realization, Oh, I wouldn't have I wouldn't have learned

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Speaker 2: that lesson if I wouldn't have been such an egotistical

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Speaker 2: prick at the time, because I wouldn't have had the

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Speaker 2: confidence to put myself in the situation to get ovel.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean. You can look at all

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Speaker 2: the piles of s hi T we step in and

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Speaker 2: they lead to you know, the clean the clean water

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Speaker 2: we get to drink from the from the well down

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Speaker 2: the line, or the truth we figure out. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's it's it's you know, I say that it's a

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Speaker 2: mystery going forward. It's a science looking back, you know,

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Speaker 2: because we can all connect the dots to exactly where

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Speaker 2: we are right now. And there's a science to it

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Speaker 2: even and that science has to do with when we

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Speaker 2: face planted and tripped ourselves and messed up or went

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Speaker 2: about it the wrong way, but maybe got the outcome

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Speaker 2: we wanted or went about the wrong way and didn't

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Speaker 2: get the outcome we wanted. I think that has a

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Speaker 2: lot to do with our and I don't know, do

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Speaker 2: you think this is a Western thing, our relationship with failure.

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Speaker 2: In some ways I wish we were more embarrassed, all right,

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Speaker 2: But in other ways, I'm like, we have to get

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Speaker 2: it with children, you know, it's like they're afraid to fail,

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Speaker 2: and it's like no, no, no, if anything. If I

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Speaker 2: look back, I always answered the question what would you

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Speaker 2: do different? I wish you would have taken more risk

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Speaker 2: and fail more. And I'm still trying to challenge myself

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Speaker 2: to that today. But we have this relationship with failure.

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Speaker 2: It's like an embarrassing thing to do instead of shaking

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Speaker 2: that no failure will happen. And if it doesn't happen,

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Speaker 2: you're probably not taking enough risks or you're not getting

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Speaker 2: out of your comfort zone. So no failure is part

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Speaker 2: of the successful path. It's necessary, and we don't have

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Speaker 2: a good relationship with it. Is that a Western thinking?

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Speaker 1: I think it comes from the Western versus Eastern ideology

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Speaker 1: of time. So in Eastern traditions time is cyclical, and

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Speaker 1: in Western traditions, time is linear, and as soon as

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Speaker 1: you make time linear, failure means a step behind, right.

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Speaker 1: But as soon as time is cyclical, well then it's

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Speaker 1: just repeating itself. So that concept transforms how you view

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Speaker 1: failure because failure then becomes a part of a cycle,

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Speaker 1: whereas failure in a linear journey is bad because it

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Speaker 1: means I'm going backwards someone.

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Speaker 2: Else success in the same way. In the Western word vertical,

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Speaker 2: as in oh, two steps up the latter failure, oh,

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Speaker 2: you step back down the ring, whereas in the Eastern

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Speaker 2: philosophy it's not necessarily so vertical quantity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it's I would say, if the

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Speaker 1: Western is outwards and upwards, then the Eastern is inwards.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: And so the inner journey, for example, the quest to

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Speaker 1: understand outer space would not be as interesting as the

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Speaker 1: inner sky. The inner sky would be more of a

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Speaker 1: magnetic pull to understand herd. If that that helps make yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And so these little mindsets I feel it's it's what

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Speaker 1: you said earlier, you change your language about midlife crisis

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Speaker 1: to mid life of life opportunity. That language shift, it's revolutionary, for.

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Speaker 2: The mind is wild, isn't it. The vernacular the prescriptions,

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Speaker 2: definition or just a word. I had the war I had.

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Speaker 2: I've had the hardest time for forty years dealing with

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Speaker 2: the words humility. Come on, can be humble, you can

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Speaker 2: be humble, humble. My shoulders would start to cave, my

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Speaker 2: head would start to go down. I was I became passive.

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Speaker 2: I had the moment where it was my turn and

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Speaker 2: I didn't take the opportunity. I had a false sense

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Speaker 2: of modesty. No, no, no, you you go, or that

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Speaker 2: person that's that that's at the in front of you,

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Speaker 2: at the stop sign that says no you can go

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Speaker 2: and that you're time to go. No you can go

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Speaker 2: to Like no, it's your turn to go. It's like,

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Speaker 2: just don't sit there and keep telling everythingle that's a

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Speaker 2: false modesty. It's like there's a they wit now you

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Speaker 2: can go. Don't let them all go through, or I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna start a hogging the horn, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Until I heard a definition that was humility is admitting

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Speaker 2: you have more to learn. As soon as I heard that,

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Speaker 2: I oh, oh, I'm in I purchase now. My my

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Speaker 2: chin's up, my heart tie, my shoulders are back, and

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Speaker 2: I admit I've got a lot more to learn, but

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Speaker 2: now I've got the confidence to move forward. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't get that click, and it was just a definition.

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Speaker 2: Vulnerability is another word that kind of has a mingling

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Speaker 2: definition that some people are hard to take it. Ah,

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Speaker 2: you know, sentimentality, it's difference between sentiment and sentimentality. And

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Speaker 2: we all want to be humble, but nobody wants to

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Speaker 2: be humiliated. Well aren't they of the same word, you know?

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, one little flick of a definition we found.

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Speaker 2: You know what Camille and I when we went to

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Speaker 2: d C with the gun control after the shooting, and

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Speaker 2: we said, instead of calling it gun control, and we're

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Speaker 2: talking to especially some people on the far right, the

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Speaker 2: word they love, which is true, not control. Nobody wants

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Speaker 2: to mandate what we call it gun responsibility. Oh oh,

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Speaker 2: they're raising their hand. Go I'm all for responsibility. What

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Speaker 2: do you mean, but the word control? I am not

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Speaker 2: even I'm not listening to another word controls what I

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Speaker 2: don't want. But you say call it responsibility. Oh, now

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Speaker 2: I talk to you. It's amazing how it all words

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Speaker 2: sometimes and you don't know what someone else's definition is.

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Speaker 2: They may have a completely different definition of that, right,

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Speaker 2: How they grew up, what they experienced, what their parents

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Speaker 2: taught them, what school, how that word, what that gave

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Speaker 2: them in their life. When they thought they were acting

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Speaker 2: that way, they're living that way.

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Speaker 1: It's so true, it's so true. And that's such a

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Speaker 1: great example with humility. My favorite definition that I learned

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Speaker 1: about humility was always being honest with yourself. And so

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Speaker 1: it's like, humility is being honest with yourself. So I'm

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Speaker 1: good at this and I'm not so good. I'm great

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Speaker 1: at this, and I can be confident about it and nah,

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Speaker 1: this needs a bit of work, you know. And so

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Speaker 1: if I can be honest with myself, then that's humility

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Speaker 1: because I'm accepting that there's more I need to learn,

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Speaker 1: but there is something that I have to offer.

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Speaker 2: And I love the word, you know. I love to

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Speaker 2: be certain. Yes, sometimes I mistake. I love to be

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Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of the word selfish. And I'm

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Speaker 2: still into redefining this and my pastors something. God, hey,

402
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: you're pushing a large square rock up a very steep hill.

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00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 2: But you know, even biblically speaking to unto others, that

404
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: you would have them do unto. You love your neighbor

405
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Speaker 2: as you love yourself. That's the self that seems to

406
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Speaker 2: me purely selfish. I believe. Seems to me that real

407
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 2: religion is extremely selfish. Live in a way now, if

408
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 2: we believe that you will, whether it's caramel wise in

409
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Speaker 2: life or whether it's life after this life, that you

410
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Speaker 2: will be rewarded later, that projection that delayed gratifications, sacrifices

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Speaker 2: and consequences we make. Maybe it's when we make now

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Speaker 2: to give our children a better life two decades from now.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that the most self Isn't that more selfish than

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Speaker 2: doing only for I at the sake of my neighbor

415
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Speaker 2: or my loved one's future. Seems to me that's maybe

416
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Speaker 2: I'm using the wrong Maybe I'm using the wrong word

417
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Speaker 2: I'm told sometimes, but I'm sticking with it. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: you know, the certainty I like to know. I want

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Speaker 2: to be in the know. I also want to damn

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Speaker 2: well be in the know about what I don't know. Humility,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like I mean, you know

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Speaker 2: they say don't take yourself says no, take yourself real seriously,

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00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: and also take sense of humor seriously, and also take

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Speaker 2: comedy very seriously. Take the falls very seriously they happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I loved your you just referenced it.

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Speaker 1: You talking about karma. I loved your redefinition of how

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00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: karma works. So in the book, you write, when you

428
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,479
Speaker 1: don't do good to others, it's guaranteed basically that they

429
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 1: won't do good to you. But if you do good

430
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: to others, it's not a guarantee. It's not a guarantee

431
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: that that's so good to you. But the universe will

432
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: respond along those lines. Yeah, and I'm doing it for memory.

433
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: That's talking about redefinitions. It stayed with me because I thought,

434
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: you've just pierced the veil of our false understanding with karma,

435
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: which is if I do good to people, they do

436
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,439
Speaker 1: good to me, and if I do bad people, they

437
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: do bad to me. So I'm expecting that when I

438
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: do good to you, bro quo, you'll do good to me.

439
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: And we all know that doesn't work like that. And

440
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: I thought, wow, this really pierces the point because now

441
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 1: I can still choose to be good to others, knowing

442
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: that good comes to me in other ways, right, but

443
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: I don't have to find it through that person.

444
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 2: Can Can we trust that? Can we trust that unconditionally

445
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: for ourselves. Again, that goes back to selfish for me

446
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: for ourselves again, the projection it seems like delayed gratification.

447
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 2: The thing that we really try to teach our children

448
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 2: is what we still have the most to learn about

449
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: as adults. What are the consequences? Can we believe more

450
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 2: in the consequences of our choices today? Can we have

451
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 2: more trust and belief? And you know that what I

452
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: the choice I make today, If I make the better choice,

453
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 2: it's going to reap rewards on others, including myself down

454
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 2: the line. But we don't like to think past now.

455
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: If you're successful and you're a fluent in life, you

456
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 2: have the luxury of thinking of long term thinking. Some

457
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 2: people in misery, which this would be fun to talk about.

458
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 2: Some of the misery, they're delayed gratification. My ass, what

459
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 2: you're talking about. I'm trying to I'm hoping, I'm trying

460
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 2: to get something tonight. We're going to wake up tomorrow

461
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: and put some food on the table. Is it a

462
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 2: luxurious thing to talk about delayed gratification? Is a luxurious

463
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: thing to talk about making sacrifices and doing what's well

464
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 2: for yourself but also well for the most amount of others?

465
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 2: Is that a luxury to someone in misery? Because they

466
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 2: sure as hell. I have a hard time understanding. And

467
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 2: I'm with you, going, I understand. You want me to

468
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 2: talk about it, what we can do peace in the world,

469
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 2: and you're trying to pay your rent. I don't want

470
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: to hear about that. I've got a household here, I

471
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 2: got two bedrooms, I got five kids, I just got fired,

472
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,199
Speaker 2: and you want to talk to me about what the

473
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 2: best idea would be for the most amount of people

474
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 2: right here? Yeah, you know what I mean.

475
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: I understand that, Yes, absolutely I agree. And then what

476
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: do you do about that? Then? So you understand it, but.

477
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 2: Well I try to be humble with it and go

478
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:43,199
Speaker 2: you can't just you know, speak trying to come across

479
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 2: as speaking from on high. I think, you know, you

480
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 2: talk about someone in a position who's lost or in pain, again,

481
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: you talk to them about projection and projecting further in life.

482
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 2: They're like, what are you talking about? But to the

483
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 2: those people, And when I myself have been there and

484
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 2: trying to and confused and frustrated and don't have the

485
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: luxury or the bandwidth to think that far ahead and

486
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: trying to go what all right, so what's the next

487
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 2: that's the right decision? What's and you don't know what

488
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 2: that is? Yeah, well I don't know. That's the one

489
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,239
Speaker 2: of the problems. All right, what do you what are

490
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 2: you most faithful to do that? One? Just one? Let's

491
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 2: just go one in a row when you thinking about

492
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 2: and if then no, just shit to one in a row,

493
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 2: you know, and just start with one and and and

494
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: just stop there. I remember being down in after Katrina.

495
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 2: We were in golf and Mississippi, and we were on

496
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 2: these property. All these houses were wiped out and we're

497
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: in this one place and there's this lady's house was

498
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 2: just a slate of cement with some rubbage and stuff

499
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 2: had been knock down. And she came back and she

500
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: was about eighty years old, and she was still in

501
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: the nightgown and she seize it, saw it for the

502
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: first time, and she was just like, and we actually,

503
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: what are you looking? When she was well, I I

504
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 2: just want to find a picture, maybe in a scrapbook.

505
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 2: So my grandchildren say, I don't lilive her, but that's

506
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: that will that will help me. And then I was

507
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 2: sitting there talking to her and I was like, what

508
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: are you feeling right now? She goes, I just I

509
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: just can you tell me where to put my right

510
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: foot if I take a step?

511
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah?

512
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 2: I just need Yeah? Is it solid? Is it gonna cave?

513
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 2: Am I going to trip? Can you just tell me?

514
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: I don't even want to look right now? Can I

515
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: trust you to tell me that this? If I step

516
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: this way, one step, my foot will be solid and

517
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 2: flat and I won't slip and it won't be danger.

518
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:48,719
Speaker 2: I don't want to step on a piece of glass.

519
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: I'm not It's not gonna and that's just wanted one step.

520
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 2: That's a person in misery going, just show me one

521
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 2: solid step. I don't want to know what's going on

522
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: on No, I don't know what's happening in an hour,

523
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: not what's happening in thirty minutes. Just give me one

524
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 2: solid step. Yeah, that seems to be a place to

525
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: start for someone in misery. Yeah, that doesn't have the

526
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 2: ability to project or so confused, and it's got too

527
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 2: much coming down on you, too much pain to think

528
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: down down the line. And then if you do that once,

529
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 2: then you reset and you bring up the same question,

530
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: what's the next one step? If it's one in a

531
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 2: row over and over instead of oh, I'm going to

532
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: put a string together. No, do one in a row

533
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: over and over and look up and maybe you can

534
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: go look at that. Yeah, ten in a row. We

535
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: got somewhere. Yeah, but that's easier said than done. You

536
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: know what do you think?

537
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: I know. I love that. I think you hit the

538
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: nail on the head. It's how we teach children to

539
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: take one step at a time, It's how we build

540
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: a new habit as people. We do one day at

541
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: a time. I think as soon as we start thinking,

542
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: it's why new as resolutions fail. It's why these big

543
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: claims of I'm going to do this for the rest

544
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: of my life or I'm going to do this for

545
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: the rest of the year, why people struggle with vows

546
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: and commitments or whatever it may be, it's because you're

547
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: making this long term decision based on small amounts of

548
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: information and you're spot on that. I think it's not

549
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: compassionate to challenge someone beyond that one step, that footing

550
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: that that they're just I love that answer. I think

551
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: it's I think it's I think it's the most empathetic, compassionate,

552
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: and loving thing you can do is to teach someone

553
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: how to take the next step without any pressure to

554
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: climb the whole mountain.

555
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 2: So what, then, would you say, is the balance between

556
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 2: keeping the big picture in mind but taking one step

557
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: at a time, the urge, the will, the incentive, the

558
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: being to go. No, I'm chasing my transcendent self. I'm

559
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 2: trying to be more god like whatever that is, which

560
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: is a big big picture. I'm trying living as if

561
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: I want to get to Heaven or whatever, I want

562
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 2: to act in a way that I have good content.

563
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 2: Those are big ideas. So how do you what's the

564
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: what's in your mind? What's the dance between that and yes,

565
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 2: but put your head down one step at a time.

566
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: As you're saying that, I'm reminded of a beautiful lining

567
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: scripture that comes from the bugger Ghita, the Eastern text.

568
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: And the text is not a rule book or a

569
00:31:55,360 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: principal book. It's based on a battlefield and the character

570
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: is the greatest archer of his time and he's having

571
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: a crisis of faith and the bow slipping from his hands.

572
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: He's going to have to fight his family, who are

573
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: the bad side and he's the good side, and he

574
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: doesn't feel capable of taking the lives of people that

575
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: he grew up with. And that's the scene, and he's

576
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: talking to God, who happens to be his charioteer. So

577
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: God's actually riding his chariot and he pauses in between

578
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: the two armies and they have this dialogue which is

579
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: seven hundred verses forty five minutes long in time. And

580
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: God's number one instruction is think of me and fight. Yeah,

581
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: I think of me. It's like, I want you to

582
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: think of me and then do your duty and take

583
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: that step. And so you know, talking about what you're saying,

584
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: it's like this paradox where we think we have to choose,

585
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: but actually the instruction in and of itself. He repeats

586
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: that twice. God repeats that twice in the text. It's like,

587
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: think of me and fight. So think of me, and dude,

588
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: do you think of me and take the stet? Because

589
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: if you think of me and take the stet, you

590
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: will have faith and trust, but you'll also feel your

591
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: action and the confidence. But if you only think of

592
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: me and you just sit.

593
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 2: There, yeah, Like, let's let's explore those two extremes that

594
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: where we don't get it. One are the fatalist. Yes,

595
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: I don't know in Schalla. Yeah, wait a minute, we

596
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: got to have our hands on wheel, you know what

597
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 2: I mean? You know we it is we have our

598
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: freedom of choice and you know, so where is it

599
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 2: that we go? You rely on faith too much? Yes,

600
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 2: and where is it We're like, no, I am fully

601
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: responsible for everything. The next step is all that matters

602
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: had to You don't see any horizon exactly. You don't

603
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 2: see any You're not pursuing anything. You're just you're you know,

604
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 2: not air force, navy mans, your army. You're dealing with

605
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: the ground only spade. You know that. That's the two

606
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 2: extremes when it feels like they can be out of balance.

607
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 2: But that paradox in the middle is what so many

608
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 2: of us are seeking and pursue and try to live it.

609
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 2: But what are practical ways to to keep that in

610
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 2: the in the middle where we're feeling both at the

611
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 2: same time, where we're thinking of God and fate and fighting.

612
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: You know the old what's that old Southern night as

613
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 2: the old man and the boy walking, here comes the

614
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 2: tornado and the boy drops on his knees to pray,

615
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: and does it get your butt? What scared prayer, ain't

616
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 2: where the damn right now? We got to go get sheltered,

617
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: you know. And then other times, and I've had my

618
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: Nietzsche and Agnostic years where I was like, it's all me,

619
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,280
Speaker 2: It is all about my hands on the damn whell. Now,

620
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: I don't regret those, and as a believer, I don't.

621
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 2: I didn't feel spiritually God was mad at me for that.

622
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: I thought he had a right smile on his face.

623
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: He was like, why did get your hands on the wheel?

624
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: I could use some more that from some more y'allah.

625
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: But at the same.

626
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: Time, yeah, you thought you had it. I thought it

627
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: was all too.

628
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 2: But I appreciate the effort. Yeah, but it was. It was.

629
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: It was.

630
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 2: I remember the feeling of appreciation and I needed it

631
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 2: at the time because I was given myself too much. Yes,

632
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 2: amnesty in places, and I was good at my chastis

633
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 2: was a little loose on the edges, and I was like, well,

634
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: you gotta look in the mirror, McConaughey, grab damn wheel man.

635
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 2: It couldn't like just let it, let it all slide

636
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 2: on faith, you know what I mean?

637
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, absolutely, it's I think there's the reason why

638
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: so many spiritual and faith traditions. You you went to

639
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: church on Sunday or temple or whatever. It's like that

640
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: was the day where you were fully dedicated in faith,

641
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: aligned in trust. And then you went and worked six

642
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: days and you carried that with you and you tried

643
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: to practice it as a reminder, but then you went

644
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: back and then you got reminded the then you did

645
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: six days of yourself.

646
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 2: About Thursday evening, you were like, I need Sunday to come. Yeah, exactly, And.

647
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 1: I feel like that's where that that third space has

648
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,439
Speaker 1: been lost. It's like, you know, one hundred years ago

649
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 1: third space theory, we had three spaces. We had church, work,

650
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: and home. And then fast forward as time went on,

651
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: you had working home, and then fast forward after the

652
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: pandemic and you just have home. And they all had

653
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: a purpose. It was like church or temple or community

654
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: or whatever it was. It was a place that gave

655
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 1: you the space to look back on your life and

656
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: take a step back, because at home you have to

657
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: be dad or mom.

658
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:26,919
Speaker 2: It was in a physical place.

659
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: It was a physical place that gave you space to

660
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 1: ask different questions because at work you're just asking how

661
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 1: do I make more money? In at home you're asking

662
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: how do I be a better mom or dad? But

663
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,919
Speaker 1: then what about how do I do all the other

664
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: Where's the space for that question?

665
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 2: So in this age where most people less, they're going

666
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 2: to church less, they're going to the temples less, is

667
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 2: it possible? Do you think or how can we improve?

668
00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 2: If you do think it's possible without the rich of

669
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 2: that third space, Because I understand the concept. Man, when

670
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 2: I'm when I feel most spiritually strong, I'm all days

671
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 2: of prayer.

672
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: Yes, for sure.

673
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 2: My every interaction is a give and take and a

674
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 2: rhythm of Oh. I didn't have to close my eyes now,

675
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:23,959
Speaker 2: but that Sunday ritual where I did need to get

676
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 2: my heart above my head in humility and a bow

677
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: in humility, I saw I've got objective and saw myself

678
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 2: from an eye in the sky. I was like, oh,

679
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 2: are you doing you need? You're not, You're not quite doing,

680
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 2: or you could do this thing that you think you're

681
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 2: doing a little more truly, you could have been more

682
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: benevolent in that. Oh that was but I needed that.

683
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 2: But then a lot of times, I mean, without the ritual,

684
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: and so many people now go, I'm not religious and spiritual,

685
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 2: I'm not religious, some spiritual. I think there's people that

686
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,919
Speaker 2: are a lot more religious and they think they are.

687
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: I think there a lot of that is that term

688
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 2: that's coming from what mankind has done with religion, which

689
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 2: are in the Bible Jesus fought against. Was like, Ah,

690
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 2: that's not what I'm talking about, guys, this is not

691
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 2: it's not it's not it's not religion in the capitalist thing.

692
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 2: It's not a material. It's what we've done with it

693
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: that I think a lot of people are fighting against religion.

694
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 2: The word means from re lagare the Latin root Lagare

695
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 2: means to bind together and re means again. So a

696
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 2: lot of people that I hear saying I'm spiritual and

697
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm for unity, I'm not going that's religion to bind

698
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 2: together again, that's to unify.

699
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 1: But going back to earlier thought, language is limiting, and

700
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:50,760
Speaker 1: once a word is scarred and wounded with battle wounds

701
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: of the past, it becomes less prominent.

702
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm a prescriptionist, keep going back like, let's not.

703
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: I'm not ready to give up on a rigid all

704
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 2: yes definitions so quickly. Yes, and I can get sometimes

705
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,800
Speaker 2: I'm pushing that square rock up the hill other times

706
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 2: you just go adapt. Don't want to be called as

707
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 2: a dinosaur. Right, So how do we again, where do

708
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 2: we hold on to time and tested truths spiritual ones

709
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,720
Speaker 2: in this sense and still say no, let's adapt and evolve.

710
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 2: People move around in society differently. Now. Maybe we don't

711
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 2: need the third space on a Sunday, but we take

712
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 2: the time every day to meditate, to pray in church

713
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 2: is where you are, It's in nature, That's where I

714
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 2: find my chair. Are those do you think these are

715
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: good supplements? Oh?

716
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,479
Speaker 1: I don't know what you think.

717
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,439
Speaker 2: I'd like to say they are, but I'm not sure

718
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 2: where that evolved. I still think we need and want

719
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 2: the responsibility, the hand, the hold. Oh, this is the day,

720
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 2: this is the place, this is where I go, This

721
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 2: is what we do. I try to short sheet that

722
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 2: bed all the time myself mine I know better, and

723
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 2: I've never followed through on go forward with the ritual.

724
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 2: Go I've never followed through on it, come away going

725
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 2: ah six or half. I'm always like yep, yeah, got

726
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 2: to keep doing that, man. And I'm trying to trying

727
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: to do that more as a father and you know,

728
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: a head of the family. And I'm not doing the

729
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: best job of it, and I'm understanding thing. But yeah,

730
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 2: it's where we are, it's how we think, it's how

731
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 2: we're gracious, it's how we're thankful. Before meals we talk

732
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 2: about our day, or we talk about philosophy or stoicism,

733
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yeah, these are some of the same things,

734
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: but are they I'm kind of making an excuse, I

735
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 2: think because the philosophy is different than religion. Although my

736
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 2: favorite parts of what I've Studier's religion is the stuff

737
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 2: I can go Oh, I can take that into the week. Oh,

738
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,720
Speaker 2: I can use that practically. And I still have trouble

739
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 2: with burning bushes and parted seas. But that may be

740
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 2: a failure of my own true faith. That's that seems

741
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: to be. Maybe that's my own pride, or my own pragmatism,

742
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 2: or my own belief in philosophy and the way we

743
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 2: live life, which I'm eternally interested in. But I don't

744
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: believe I'm going far enough. I think I'm short shooting myself.

745
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 2: I think there's a gap there, and I do I

746
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 2: think God's going I appreciate you trying. You you have

747
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 2: too much pride, You're not going far enough. You haven't

748
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: fully surrendered to the faith to believe in faith. That's

749
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 2: my and I think you do need that, my haunches.

750
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 2: I don't care how tired you are Sunday morning. That's

751
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: that's where you should in order and you know go

752
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: for that reason. So that's my hunch.

753
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: We're aligned. I think that what we have available today

754
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: are conduits of a far greater depth that you get

755
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: from the physical community, the connection, the communion of a

756
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: direct message that feels really clear and is from source.

757
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 1: Like there's a power in that that I've personally experienced too,

758
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: and I've dabbled in. But by the way, I'm the same.

759
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm the same as you. I live in a place

760
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: where I don't have that community as I've had in

761
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: other places that I've lived. I constantly make excuses and

762
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:34,760
Speaker 1: find other ways to justify my practice because I can't

763
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: fully be at the depth that I'd like to be.

764
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: And it's and so I'm doing it too to survive

765
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,800
Speaker 1: and to stay connected. But there's a difference between surviving

766
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: and thriving. And I know that when I'm thriving in

767
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: my practice and my faith, it's when I'm doing it

768
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: the way it was done Now this doesn't going back

769
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 1: and just to add the caveat I think we all

770
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: know it is that. I'm not saying that the way

771
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: it was done in all ways was done well. I'm

772
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:02,479
Speaker 1: saying that the form of connecting communion, reflecting connection, that

773
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 1: you can't substitute that with anything else. But we're living

774
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: in a world today where we need new tools, we

775
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 1: need things that are more accessible, and people need them

776
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: and are available to them. And I see them as

777
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: a beginning of the journey and a bridge, not the destination.

778
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: So I think if we're building a longer bridge, then

779
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: that's healthy because if someone never starts the journey on

780
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 1: the bridge, will they ever make it to the place.

781
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: What are we building the bridge with?

782
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: So, for example, I guess if people are trying to

783
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: do their daily meditation, they're trying to Maybe they're meditating

784
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,919
Speaker 1: through an app. Maybe they are trying to work out

785
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: with an online workout, right, like if they were in

786
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: the gym at a class, maybe that would be a

787
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 1: more fun atmosphere for them. Right. Maybe people are reading

788
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: a book about poems and prayers inspired by but not

789
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: directly from the source, but that's their beginning bridge of

790
00:43:56,239 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 1: their journey to that direction in their own pace, their

791
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: own time, whenever, if and when they want to go.

792
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's what what you do and

793
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: what I try and do and what so many do

794
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 1: is we're trying to build bridges hopefully that are not

795
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,280
Speaker 1: the home. I think the problem is when the bridge

796
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: becomes the home.

797
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 2: Amen, you don't want to live on the bridge? Yeah?

798
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: Right. I can't remember who said it. There's a famous

799
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: quote that says the world is like a bridge. Don't

800
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 1: build your house on it, cross over it, And I

801
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 1: don't know who said it. Based idea, I think all

802
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:33,399
Speaker 1: of these platforms and apps and tools, they're all bridges. Yeah,

803
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:34,439
Speaker 1: but don't live there.

804
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't live or don't feel that that's home.

805
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 1: That's it.

806
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 2: I mean, let me ask you this though, because like

807
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 2: in the Bible, it talks about we're all, you know,

808
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 2: we're strangers here, we never we don't find a home

809
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: here in some version and I maybe theologically messing this up,

810
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 2: but what I get from it is, you know, but

811
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: you try your pursuit to try and make heaven on earth,

812
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 2: which you will not because you will never find it

813
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 2: here until you get there. That's that's as good you

814
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 2: can do, but you will always be a stranger, You

815
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 2: always be an immigrant, you will always be looking for

816
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 2: a home here on earth. Yes, Now, how does that

817
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 2: necessarily mean that? That doesn't mean we're living on a bridge,

818
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 2: or does it?

819
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: I believe so I feel like the it's like an

820
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: airport terminal. It just feels like home because we feel

821
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 1: like it's a long time. But because it's not eternal,

822
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 1: it can't possibly be the destination, right from a religious.

823
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 2: Spiritual when you're trying to make home or the pursuit

824
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 2: of home, what you see home, trying to bring it here, yes,

825
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 2: trying to emulate as much as possible, to try the

826
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:46,879
Speaker 2: light of that.

827
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: It's like I'm going to France next year, so I'm

828
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,879
Speaker 1: going to practice French now, right Like that I think

829
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: is the big picture and the daily step at a time.

830
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: It's like I'm trying to I'm trying to aspire to live.

831
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to move country next year, but I'm going

832
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: to practice the rules, the rituals, the language of that

833
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: country this year because then I'll be prepared so I

834
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 1: don't not have a great life. Now. I'm not postponing, joy,

835
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm not postponing happiness or love. I'm practicing that culture

836
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,919
Speaker 1: that I believe is better for me. Yes, now if

837
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 1: that makes sense, Yes, yes, yes it does. What's been

838
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: I feel like you're such a I feel like your

839
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: mind is like you're constantly observing patterns and observing even

840
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: like languages. We've been talking. What's something that you've observed

841
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 1: about humans that fascinates you that surprises you?

842
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: Maybe one our ability to adapt when there's not another option. Wow,

843
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 2: that's We're elastic, man. We are elastic, more elastic than

844
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 2: I like to practically think. But boy, when we're put

845
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 2: to it, I'm amazed how quickly we can change, adapt, evolve,

846
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 2: come to understand the other side. When we're put to it.

847
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 2: You give us the option, we take the out man,

848
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 2: and we we argue and really, I'm not I ain't

849
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 2: budget now, huh, you know what I mean? And then

850
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: on the flip side of that, somewhat is how we

851
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 2: seem to find in this pursuit of the ideal. We

852
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 2: seem to almost say, well, that is our home, that

853
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 2: is who we are, and then go okay, so there,

854
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 2: and then we are practiced. It's not as evolved as

855
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 2: we think it is. But we keep saying, and I

856
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 2: love the we can get tap into the eleventh percent

857
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 2: of our mind which we don't happen to. We can

858
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 2: be greater, we can transcend. But practically every day I

859
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 2: think there's some great wisdom and going. We're not as

860
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 2: evolved as we think we are. Let's quit acting like

861
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 2: we are. I love to pursuit It's like rehabilitation and justice.

862
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm for rehabilitation, man. I mean I love the New Testament,

863
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. At the same time, we

864
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 2: are repeat offending son of the Guns over and over

865
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 2: and over. And if I've done you wrong and you've

866
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 2: allowed me to come to you and ask for forgiveness,

867
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,399
Speaker 2: the first order on the docket should be me. If

868
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 2: you choose to forgive me, the first order on the

869
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 2: docket should be me from now on doing anything I

870
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 2: can to not have to come apologize to you again.

871
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: It's not just that you forgave and gave me the

872
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: chance to be forgiven. I got some sweat equity on

873
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: my side to quit doing the actions that caused me

874
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 2: to have you forgive me, to have me apologize again,

875
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 2: and we don't forget. We see to not forget that side.

876
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: I love Kumbai. Yah, this is the ideal place we

877
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 2: can go. But I feel like we relax in kind

878
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 2: OF's take for granted thinking we're that evolved, and no

879
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 2: we're not. That's the constant pursuit. We ain't there. So

880
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 2: let's deal with the hard math right here. And one

881
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 2: thing we can depend on people being is people. Nothing

882
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 2: we do is unbelievable. We do stupid shit all the time.

883
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: We break our own noses because we tripped ourselves running downhill.

884
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 2: We still we're jealous, we covet we talk blue and

885
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 2: vote red. We talk New Testament and act old. We're

886
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 2: entrenched in some ideas. Now go back to that. The

887
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 2: first half of what surprised me about people, when I

888
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 2: was talking about the adapt the flexibility of adaptation. I

889
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 2: remember it was probably twelve years ago. It was in

890
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 2: Alabama doing research for a film down there, Free State

891
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 2: of Jones and in Mobile, Alabama on the dock at

892
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,879
Speaker 2: that night. The next morning the vote had gone through

893
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 2: about whether Alabama was going to allow gay marriage. I'm

894
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: sitting in Alabama and I was like, I don't think

895
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 2: that's going to pass deep South Alabama. I mean, it

896
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 2: sounds like that's a very progressive idea to them. I'm

897
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 2: judging it. I'm just saying as an anthropologist and sociologist,

898
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, Oh. The next morning it passed fifty percent.

899
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: I was like wow. I talked to my friends. A

900
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 2: lot of them on the left were of hord. I

901
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 2: can't believe that those bigots only fifty three percent. I

902
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 2: was like, only fifty three. I thought it was going

903
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 2: to be eighty twenty. The other way, that was a

904
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 2: massive me talking about meeting people where they are. It's

905
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 2: a massive flexibility that surprised me. And that was just

906
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 2: twelve years ago. So we have to understand where people

907
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,439
Speaker 2: have come from. I write about it in the book

908
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 2: about I wish more crimes were from ignorance. And what

909
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 2: I mean by that is if I know the right

910
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: thing to do and I know the wrong thing to

911
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 2: do and I still do the wrong crime, shame on me.

912
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 2: I knew better. But there's certain crimes we commit that

913
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 2: someone just goes I didn't know. Yeah, Okay, now let's

914
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: talk about some real rehab. Because you didn't make the

915
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 2: wrong choice, you just didn't know. Now talk about some amnesty. Yeah,

916
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: I've got to meet you in a different place. We

917
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 2: have to deal with solving the problem differently than I

918
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 2: do with the guy that knew better and did it anyway.

919
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, do we expect too much from people?

920
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 2: Practically speaking? Yes, yes, I mean we underwhelm and underserve

921
00:51:56,280 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 2: an under show a lot. But we all have different

922
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 2: expectations of ourselves and of others. I mean, so again

923
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 2: part of that, hey, just expect it. That old expect

924
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 2: the worst words the best. I don't like that. I like,

925
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 2: actually expect the absolute best. And when it comes in

926
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 2: under that, you know, shoot for the A, make a

927
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 2: C better and shoot for C make an F how

928
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 2: quickly when you deal with riality, go okay, well that's

929
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 2: a hell of a lot better outcome. And I got

930
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: more out of you and you got more out of

931
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 2: me than we would have if we had come in

932
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: going like, let's just make a C. You know what

933
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 2: I mean. We may be you know what I mean.

934
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 2: We went for the perfection and we came in under it,

935
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 2: but it was still pretty dog on good well done.

936
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,840
Speaker 2: That's where I call it an overshow theory.

937
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 1: How do you deal with when someone disappoints you based

938
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: on your expectation?

939
00:52:55,840 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 2: I'm quicker to say, yep, that was reality that's able

940
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 2: to do, whether it's forgiveness or amnesty, whatever you'll call

941
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 2: it with others than I am for myself explained, I

942
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 2: expect perfection from myself a lot, and I don't reach it.

943
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 2: And I know I can, or I believe I can.

944
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 2: That's a better word. I believe I can, and I

945
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 2: don't want to quit believing I can. That's sort of

946
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 2: where I find myself in approaching life. Keep going for perfection,

947
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 2: keep finding that reality comes in under that, and you

948
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 2: will have climbed more stairs. If we're gonna have a

949
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 2: vertical by the end, you will have had more quality.

950
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 2: Your roots will have been deeper and wider inside and

951
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 2: out vertically and to the south than if you didn't

952
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:56,360
Speaker 2: chase that perfection. The challenge for me is when reality

953
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 2: comes in and it's served and the bells rung and

954
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 2: there's no more time to take test. When you see

955
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,399
Speaker 2: that you didn't make a hundred and you made an

956
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:06,479
Speaker 2: eighty eight, how quickly can you go instead of going,

957
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 2: oh dude, or how quickly can you go? All right?

958
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 2: May not bad? So again, that pursuit of an ideal

959
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 2: plus the practical what's the next step? Solid step? And

960
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 2: I worked to become a work to try and remain

961
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 2: as much as I can to feel satisfaction in that reality.

962
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: But that's the hard part is how quickly can you

963
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 2: go from like I've never I say this all the time,

964
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 2: and I don't like it to be misconstrued. I've never

965
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 2: made a film that lived up to my expectations. I've

966
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 2: never given a performance that lived up to my expectations.

967
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 2: I've done films I think it's a lot better than

968
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 2: I could have done. And I'm not saying, oh, I

969
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 2: should have direct I'm saying, no, that was a it's awesome,

970
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 2: there's a really great piece of art, not transcendent. I

971
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 2: didn't change the world or tap into a piece of

972
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 2: humanity that enlightened myself and everyone else on a unanimous level.

973
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 2: That's what I'm going for, But I had never done it,

974
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 2: so why? And again, I've worked and people made films

975
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 2: I think are outstanding and better than they would have

976
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 2: been if I would have been the director, for sure,

977
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 2: But that's part of I think, maybe why when I

978
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 2: do do good work or make good creations or good art.

979
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 2: I think that was part of it that I was

980
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: going for, the infinite pure spot in space that was immaculate,

981
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 2: believing I could achieve perfection, but knowing I couldn't. But

982
00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 2: I still like to believe. I mean, my favorite word

983
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,399
Speaker 2: in the world's unanimous.

984
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: M What.

985
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 2: I mean unanimous? We don't have as many black and

986
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 2: whites today. Man, here is something unanimous that we can

987
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 2: all agree on. Maybe it's a value, maybe it's a

988
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 2: it's it's a way of making a living. Maybe it's

989
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:21,439
Speaker 2: a piece of art. It just unanimously go no, that's

990
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 2: just that's great. It's a one of one. But you

991
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: seek unanimous Sammy Davis Junior. I don't know what success is.

992
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 2: I don know what failure is. That's trying to please everybody,

993
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 2: you know. I mean, you seek. You ain't gonna get it,

994
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 2: there's no way, but come on to keep believing, you

995
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 2: don't know. I feel like it keeps me in the chase,

996
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 2: keeps me in the race, keeps me going oh okay, okay,

997
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:50,359
Speaker 2: you know yeah.

998
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:53,359
Speaker 1: I like that. You have to live like that, like

999
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: there's a there's a joy to live like that. And

1000
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: it's a joy again. You know, it's been the theme

1001
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 1: of our discussion today. It's when we like being able

1002
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 1: to accept both like you said you believe you can

1003
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: knowing you own right, And it's that what makes it

1004
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: beautiful because if you only believe you can, then you'll

1005
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: be really disappointed when it doesn't happen. Right, And if

1006
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: you only know you'll never get there, then well you

1007
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 1: never do anything. So so it goes back to that

1008
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 1: same Yeah, that same piece. So on your ranking score,

1009
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: where is interstellar of your performance? Where do you go in?

1010
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 2: Is it?

1011
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? Where are you like your performance? Like that's not

1012
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 1: to us, it's perfect to you, it's not. So what

1013
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 1: what is the no?

1014
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's very good. Yeah, and

1015
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 2: I think and I think the movie is really good.

1016
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: I think I think the character is really good. I

1017
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: think my performance is really good. I have appreciation for it.

1018
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 2: And I know if I'm Bogie or if I'm Birdie,

1019
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 2: and I know when I'm like i've seen myself you

1020
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: kind of bullshit and then I've seen it, I'm like

1021
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 2: baym okay.

1022
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 1: So eighty eight, like you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1023
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 2: Well but I'm also, as you know from the book,

1024
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 2: I'm not into extra credit. I don't like four point

1025
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 2: two GPAs that tells me like what happened are then

1026
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 2: we're not giving the right test. Or if four was

1027
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 2: the pinnacle, you know that means not many people should

1028
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,720
Speaker 2: be getting it. If anybody so, now we're getting four

1029
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 2: two s, four fours, that tells me we've over leveraged

1030
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:21,479
Speaker 2: the original task, or we've added amnesty or too many

1031
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 2: places to to not do the have the real competence

1032
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 2: and merit at the task that you're supposed to give.

1033
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 2: Because especially I think in the West, because we want

1034
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 2: to everyone to feel really great participation trophies four point

1035
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 2: two GPA, Well I feel better you have four point

1036
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 2: d GPA. Start getting a three point eight education. The

1037
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 2: credit that extra credit we give is sort of balanced

1038
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: with the debit of the actual what we learned from it. Sometimes,

1039
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 2: if we give too.

1040
00:58:50,920 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: Much extra credit, what validation do you perceive it?

1041
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 2: My wifs, my children. I have a counsel in the sky,

1042
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 2: three people that are extremely important to me in my life,

1043
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 2: my dad, Penny Allen, and John Cheney. And I see them,

1044
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 2: wink at them, talk with them, listen to them, seeing

1045
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: run ideas by them, run decisions by them, and then

1046
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: I look up and see what their reaction is. And

1047
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 2: it's been a very trusted counsel. For me, it's sort

1048
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 2: of my way to give people practical people, physical bodies

1049
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 2: and souls that are no longer with this here on

1050
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 2: earth and physically to put the minute heaven sense. And

1051
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 2: it's a connection there. They're a conduit from God to

1052
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 2: me and I have no expectations of them. And sometimes

1053
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 2: when I'm so excited, like getting this grade, I look

1054
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 2: up and they're not dancing. I'm like, why don't you dancing?

1055
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 2: I got other times where two of them will be

1056
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 2: dancing and one of them isn't, and I have to

1057
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 2: go through, oh whitatt Is that something they don't understand

1058
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 2: or are they the underdog? And I need to be

1059
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 2: listening to them because that's why they're going, m you

1060
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 2: know better than that. I don't agree with that. And

1061
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 2: then sometimes all three of them are you know, my

1062
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 2: dad's gotta you know, dancing in his underwear with the

1063
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 2: middle of light and a piece of lemon mering pie

1064
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 2: pennies up on a chair, screaming out loud. My buddy

1065
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 2: John Change is leaning back there his old cotton yellow

1066
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 2: shorts as you do with the shoulders back going there

1067
01:00:56,480 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 2: you go, buh yeah. So I think their validation. And

1068
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 2: that's a conduit through a practical conduit in my imagination

1069
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: because I don't have a picture in my mind of God,

1070
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 2: and I don't. I don't. I don't think we can

1071
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 2: or should. I think that minimalizes. You know, we have

1072
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 2: pictures of physical beings that have walked the earth that

1073
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 2: we can call prophets and stuff, But of God, I

1074
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 2: don't have a picture. I don't think it's an it.

1075
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 2: I don't think it's a mister or a missus or

1076
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 2: anything like that. So and then I mean, look then

1077
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 2: inharently that all brings me back to seeking my own

1078
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 2: my own validation. You know. I try to measure how

1079
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 2: I counsel and referee myself off of some of the

1080
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 2: people I just brought up to you. So that's where

1081
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 2: I pretty well stick. That's why I prove it. I don't.

1082
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 2: I don't really look outside. That's not much further outside

1083
01:01:54,040 --> 01:02:00,800
Speaker 2: my circumference, just because I can't. It's it's too fickle. Yeah,

1084
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 2: it's too I can't. Really, I don't have to trust. Again,

1085
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 2: that goes to that Sammy Davis Junior, like if you

1086
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 2: want to look around and goes everyone approve. Yeah, it's

1087
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 2: gonna be It's gonna be lonely and hard and not

1088
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,520
Speaker 2: necessarily the best for you, you know what I mean.

1089
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 2: And I know I've pulled some things off my life

1090
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 2: where I You know, people thought I changed and made

1091
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 2: it a wow, what a recreation I'm like, And then

1092
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 2: the same thing you just put it in bold print

1093
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 2: now doing the same thing fifteen years ago. You know

1094
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,439
Speaker 2: what I mean. Sometimes we change by saying the same

1095
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 2: and then other times again, as we talked about in

1096
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:42,720
Speaker 2: the beginning of the conversation, you give yourself time to daydream.

1097
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 2: You pick out a new tact about how to maybe

1098
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 2: go about something, a new way of uncovering something, a

1099
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 2: new way of solving something, a new way of finding

1100
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 2: satisfaction in the situation, a new way of dealing with

1101
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 2: the crisis, a new way of dealing with success, you know,

1102
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 2: looking at it from a different point of view. Just

1103
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 2: to have another or some almost amor m o arrow

1104
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:07,000
Speaker 2: in the quiver. And how in this hunt is life?

1105
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 1: Well, how does someone like you, who built their career

1106
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 1: on control crosp the concept of trust.

1107
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:21,439
Speaker 2: I'm a trust first guy. I come here today, whether

1108
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 2: we had never talked before, I have I have nothing

1109
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 2: in my head going into anyone's situation and they're trying

1110
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 2: to get me. Who is he gonna ask a tricky question?

1111
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:31,440
Speaker 1: Oh?

1112
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: Is he trying to play a guy? I don't uhuh,

1113
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 2: because that'll hang me up. I won't be able to

1114
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 2: freely think and go. Now. At the same time, have

1115
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 2: I been doing this long enough where before I'm about

1116
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 2: to say something, as I'm saying, I can go, Oh,

1117
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:48,000
Speaker 2: if you don't finish this sentence right, that's going to

1118
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 2: be a headline in a rag bag or something. I

1119
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 2: mean you know what I mean. Oh, that's not going

1120
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,800
Speaker 2: to be the headline you want. Yea conscious enough of that.

1121
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 2: But I'm a trust first guy, and I've been and

1122
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 2: I've been burned, and I'm like, I'll make that bet

1123
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 2: again because I know that I put that. If I

1124
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 2: put more trust on Howdie, it's going to do something

1125
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 2: to you where maybe you aren't the most treasury. I've

1126
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,200
Speaker 2: seen people become more trustworthy. I've seen people give more

1127
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 2: because they go, oh, this guy's given me a massive

1128
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 2: amount of true. He just empowered med, he just gave me.

1129
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,680
Speaker 2: He saw a dignity in me that I didn't see.

1130
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 2: He's given me a license, a privilege some hoods paul

1131
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 2: to go okay, And I believe in that, and I

1132
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:36,920
Speaker 2: see that in people, and it's a bit of that,

1133
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 2: you know, may what we give from our soul get

1134
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 2: a like response from others. I believe in that risk pros.

1135
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 2: So I'm a trust first guy. I don't the residuals

1136
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 2: for going through life with that trust shit that sucks.

1137
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I also, you know, I trust myself

1138
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 2: more now than maybe I used to. And that thing

1139
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 2: that's just I'm from growth and evolution, and you know,

1140
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 2: I used to always be a guy who and I'm

1141
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 2: still a guy who. I don't like drawers. I like

1142
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:12,400
Speaker 2: the stuff laid out. I want to see it, because

1143
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 2: if it was in the drawer, I forget I even

1144
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 2: needed it. I want to see it. I was always

1145
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 2: a guy who's like, if I'm going to come in

1146
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 2: this room, make sure that my keys to the keys

1147
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 2: to the door in the other room on the kitchen table.

1148
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 2: Leave that door cracked. I have more confidence now to go.

1149
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 2: You ain't shut the door. I know where I left

1150
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 2: the keys. I don't have to look over my shoulder again.

1151
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 2: I had this spiritually when I went to True Detective,

1152
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:40,480
Speaker 2: I was in a really strong spiritual place and that character.

1153
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 2: My relationship with God at that time was really strong.

1154
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 2: That character. When some philosophical nihilism and things that are

1155
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 2: like away from faith, I was able to go, I'm

1156
01:05:56,320 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 2: locking in and not looking back for five months. Well,

1157
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:02,919
Speaker 2: and I don't need to look over my shoulder because

1158
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:06,800
Speaker 2: I know when I come out of this, my relationship's

1159
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 2: good back there. I don't need to peek over my

1160
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 2: shoulder to make sure. I don't have a tried to

1161
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 2: trust Earlier and many other times in my life, I

1162
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 2: wouldn't have the trust to go that far because I'm like,

1163
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,919
Speaker 2: is this okay? And I'm going about to get struck

1164
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:21,400
Speaker 2: by lighting?

1165
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 1: Here?

1166
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 2: Is this blasphemous?

1167
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:23,400
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

1168
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? Are we good?

1169
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 1: You know?

1170
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just acting, you know what I mean. So

1171
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:32,840
Speaker 2: I had a great amount of trust. I'm strong spiritually

1172
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 2: then to go. And when I feel stronger spiritually is

1173
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:40,520
Speaker 2: that you know, the foundation's strong. We can jump higher,

1174
01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 2: we can go further. We cannot look over our back

1175
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 2: as much. And trust and you know when we travel

1176
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 2: and trusting relationships and away from the kids. I'm away

1177
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:52,800
Speaker 2: from the kids right now. It's been a week, okay,

1178
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,720
Speaker 2: but we check in yet its FaceTime help the trust, Yeah,

1179
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,360
Speaker 2: because you get to just more. There's a phone call,

1180
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 2: but the idea of the very simple natural ideas of going, hey,

1181
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 2: it's ten o'clock. We're on the phone. I'm on one

1182
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 2: side of the world during the other. But we're both

1183
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:12,560
Speaker 2: under the same moon. We're both under the same sun.

1184
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:15,400
Speaker 2: Son you're under right now. I just hadn't got to

1185
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 2: me yet, but it'll be the same one and the

1186
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:19,760
Speaker 2: moon that I'm under right and I just hadn't got

1187
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:23,440
Speaker 2: to you. But it's it's coming. There's a again that time.

1188
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 2: Now we're getting into the cyclical time you talk about it,

1189
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:30,920
Speaker 2: and not the linear where we feel like, oh I'm losing. Yeah, no,

1190
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 2: it's coming around. It's all about there's a trust I

1191
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: get from that, and then another trust I get is

1192
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 2: if I'm you know, it's in between. That's all it means.

1193
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:53,040
Speaker 2: Everything means everything and nothing matters at all. Yeah between there.

1194
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you? Yeah, that's like I love that.

1195
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:56,480
Speaker 1: So do we live like that?

1196
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 2: So again, trust, if I'm going to go to the

1197
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:04,120
Speaker 2: fatalist side of what I do, that doesn't matter, it

1198
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:08,160
Speaker 2: doesn't I'm gonna die, dude, what's it matter? I used

1199
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,600
Speaker 2: to not have the trust to go, oh, but I'm

1200
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:13,200
Speaker 2: gonna still do it, every bit of the work to

1201
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 2: make sure and I'm put my hands on the wheel

1202
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 2: right so to go. Oh, it doesn't matter. It's what

1203
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 2: I'll tell myself if I'm nervous, I'm gonna go give

1204
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Speaker 2: a speech or something. I'm prepared. I busted my tail

1205
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:28,400
Speaker 2: and broke the sweat to get prepared. I'm full now

1206
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 2: if I trust that, and I know I did that.

1207
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:33,679
Speaker 2: Now I need to tell myself, dude, this doesn't matter.

1208
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 2: You're gonna die. What the hell does this matter? Because

1209
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 2: I know I'm not gonna go be lazy and then

1210
01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 2: prepared and f off. So now that I trust that,

1211
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:48,440
Speaker 2: I will that I'm prepared, and I take it very seriously.

1212
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,120
Speaker 2: Now I come to I like to end it with it. Well, now,

1213
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:56,840
Speaker 2: none of this matters. To relax if I go, you

1214
01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:01,200
Speaker 2: know too much. The other side, I'm I'm tight, I'm trying.

1215
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:03,599
Speaker 2: I'm trying too hard. I'm not giving myself the freedom

1216
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 2: to listen and riff and take somebody's answer and go

1217
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:11,360
Speaker 2: with it, you know what I mean. So that's that's

1218
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:13,400
Speaker 2: how I try to balance the two. Yeah, you know,

1219
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 2: but that took but I didn't. That's twenty years ago.

1220
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:19,800
Speaker 2: If I'd have said, and with some of us in life,

1221
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 2: if you tell them, dude, none of it matters. It's

1222
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 2: all faate. It's all going to people just f off

1223
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 2: and go like, well, it doesn't matter how I treat

1224
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,320
Speaker 2: you or treat me, And you're like, no, it does.

1225
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:34,640
Speaker 2: But can you trust that you're not going to be

1226
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:36,720
Speaker 2: a tyrant when you let yourself off?

1227
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 1: Yes?

1228
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:37,960
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

1229
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:41,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well said, well said. It's that that balancing

1230
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: act in everything we're talking about everything, we just keep

1231
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:47,880
Speaker 1: coming back to that, Like to be able to believe

1232
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:50,280
Speaker 1: that what I'm about to do is important and then

1233
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:53,680
Speaker 1: have the ability to embrace my own insignificance at the

1234
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:55,720
Speaker 1: same time is beautiful.

1235
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:58,360
Speaker 2: Like there's a quote I always remember hearing as a kid.

1236
01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 2: It's like you're just you're It's the smaplest grain of

1237
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:06,559
Speaker 2: sand in the palm of God. And for whatever reason,

1238
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:10,720
Speaker 2: very early on in my childhood, when I heard that,

1239
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 2: that felt power. From that. I didn't feel smart. I

1240
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:20,840
Speaker 2: felt like, wow, how cool, how awesome? Yeah, And in

1241
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 2: that is the idea of like it all means something

1242
01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 2: and none of it matters. Yeah, but it's very easy

1243
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:30,920
Speaker 2: to look think that that analogy and go oh, well,

1244
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 2: so I don't matter. No, Can that grain of sand

1245
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:42,240
Speaker 2: and the palm make you go oh No, I mattered

1246
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 2: more than I thought.

1247
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:47,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's both. Yeah, and it's both and it's yeah.

1248
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:49,120
Speaker 1: I remember we were on a beach in South India.

1249
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,719
Speaker 1: I was with my monk teacher and we want to walk.

1250
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:54,200
Speaker 1: And it was a bunch of young monks with my teacher.

1251
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:57,160
Speaker 1: And it's a big fishing town, so South India is

1252
01:10:57,240 --> 01:11:00,320
Speaker 1: very known for being a fishing community. And there'd be

1253
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:03,000
Speaker 1: loads of fish nets full of fishes, and then there'd

1254
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 1: be the few that had fallen out on the on

1255
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: the beach as we were walking, and whenever we'd walk

1256
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: past one, my teacher would pick it up and put

1257
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:10,640
Speaker 1: it back in the water. It was still, you know,

1258
01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:13,280
Speaker 1: tossing up and down on the on the beach, and

1259
01:11:13,479 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: we were just looking at the whole beach in front

1260
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:18,799
Speaker 1: of us, and they were like hundreds, maybe maybe thousands

1261
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:20,800
Speaker 1: of fish that had fallen out of the nets that

1262
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 1: won't go to be cooked in a restaurant, but won't

1263
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:26,840
Speaker 1: make it back the ocean and probably die in between.

1264
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 1: And he was just every time we'd walk past, we'd

1265
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:30,760
Speaker 1: pick one and we'd be like, we said to him,

1266
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,840
Speaker 1: we were like, we're not going to be here all day,

1267
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,400
Speaker 1: and there's no chance we're going to get to all

1268
01:11:34,479 --> 01:11:36,880
Speaker 1: of these. And he was like, yeah, but to that

1269
01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:40,280
Speaker 1: one fish, that's their whole life, Like you know, so

1270
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:41,920
Speaker 1: to you, it's like, we're not going to get to

1271
01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:45,000
Speaker 1: four hundred because you it's and so it's both it's

1272
01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:49,160
Speaker 1: like our work is insignificant, right, but it's significant.

1273
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 2: And and then that goes back to that, Yeah, that

1274
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:55,639
Speaker 2: that that we can get paralyzed. You know they think

1275
01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:58,799
Speaker 2: globally act lobally is another term. Yeah, maybe we get paralyzed.

1276
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 2: You think about I can't it's too much centermount and

1277
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,360
Speaker 2: I just do one in a row.

1278
01:12:02,479 --> 01:12:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, one at a time, one step, just.

1279
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,479
Speaker 2: One at a time, and you know, the sunsets and

1280
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 2: you had to be home by dark and they're still

1281
01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:12,640
Speaker 2: sufficients slipping, Well, get on home and you didn't get

1282
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:14,800
Speaker 2: them all, but you got you were in the assets sex.

1283
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:19,679
Speaker 2: Sometimes that I think is how I deal with maybe

1284
01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:22,920
Speaker 2: let myself off, trying to figure out a proper balance

1285
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:27,080
Speaker 2: of forgiveness and saying no, the buck stops here. You know,

1286
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:29,280
Speaker 2: something goes like, man, I'm not I don't feel like

1287
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:32,840
Speaker 2: I'm this is magic or this is absolutely beautiful, this

1288
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:36,719
Speaker 2: is absolutely true. I'll go Okay, not everything in life's

1289
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:38,719
Speaker 2: going to be that. But are we in the asset section?

1290
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:41,880
Speaker 2: Are we in the black? So to speak? Is the

1291
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:48,639
Speaker 2: thing you're doing a proton and not an elect Try?

1292
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 2: Is it? Yeah?

1293
01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:50,560
Speaker 1: It is?

1294
01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:51,719
Speaker 2: Does it' not harmed?

1295
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:51,880
Speaker 1: You know?

1296
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,679
Speaker 2: Sometimes you know, I mean I do this in work.

1297
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:56,680
Speaker 2: Some scenes are magic. They come to life.

1298
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 1: You just know.

1299
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:00,120
Speaker 2: Some scenes you get in and you're like, dude, I'm

1300
01:13:00,160 --> 01:13:03,040
Speaker 2: just connecting the dots. Let's just get out of here

1301
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,400
Speaker 2: without you know, I don't have a great truth to tell.

1302
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,639
Speaker 2: Let me just get out of here without telling a lie.

1303
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes I have to let myself off and go not

1304
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:18,840
Speaker 2: everything's going to be a wow, magical truth. Sometimes it's

1305
01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:22,280
Speaker 2: just till the soil and don't tell the lie, don't

1306
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 2: don't trip yourself, don't hit the ball out of bounds.

1307
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:27,800
Speaker 2: Take one and it's in the rough. Yeah you didn't

1308
01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:30,360
Speaker 2: add of bounds. You're still you're still playing stay and

1309
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:32,639
Speaker 2: they can just stay in the game on the upside,

1310
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:34,840
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Sometimes it's just that I

1311
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 2: remember and I had an acting teacher. I did a

1312
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:38,360
Speaker 2: performance one time and I was real happy with it,

1313
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 2: and she came back she was like, not bad. But

1314
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 2: every single scene, it's like you're trying to hit a

1315
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:47,759
Speaker 2: grand slam if you Sometimes you need a single, Sometimes

1316
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,320
Speaker 2: you need to take a ball that was not the

1317
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:51,880
Speaker 2: strike zone. Sometimes you need to lay down a bunch.

1318
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:54,599
Speaker 2: Sometimes you need to And I was like, Oh, that's right.

1319
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:58,800
Speaker 2: Not everything's a grand slam. It's not every single thing matters.

1320
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:01,800
Speaker 2: If we think, you know, it's like if we think

1321
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 2: every single thing is significant and everything matters, will be

1322
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 2: nothing will have significance. Yeah, we'll be paralyzed by minutia

1323
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:17,439
Speaker 2: and details and stats. There will there will be no

1324
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:19,479
Speaker 2: baseline to any of it. There will be no song.

1325
01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:21,639
Speaker 2: It will all be notes, you know what I mean.

1326
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, the idea of significance evaporates. If everything was significant, Yeah,

1327
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:28,599
Speaker 1: there is no there. There would be nothing that right

1328
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:32,880
Speaker 1: stands out special. Yeah, it just wouldn't. It wouldn't hold.

1329
01:14:32,920 --> 01:14:35,840
Speaker 1: The idea wouldn't hold anymore. What's the first when I

1330
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:38,400
Speaker 1: asked you the question about validation. The first person that

1331
01:14:38,479 --> 01:14:41,800
Speaker 1: came to you, at least what you said out loud,

1332
01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:45,560
Speaker 1: was your wife is here too. And uh, I was wondering, what,

1333
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:49,400
Speaker 1: what do you feel is the biggest mistake we make

1334
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:50,000
Speaker 1: about love?

1335
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:58,559
Speaker 2: Biggest mistake we make about love? Gruvy groovy question. Make

1336
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:02,280
Speaker 2: He's back there, probably listening right now, going, I can't

1337
01:15:02,320 --> 01:15:05,240
Speaker 2: wait to hear this answer. Hey, one of the biggest

1338
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:07,760
Speaker 2: mistakes that I think I know I could make is

1339
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:12,400
Speaker 2: taking it for granted. Again. It's on the same topic

1340
01:15:12,520 --> 01:15:15,720
Speaker 2: we've been on. You vow to love each other and

1341
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,680
Speaker 2: say a marriage for instance, and it's through sickness and

1342
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:20,800
Speaker 2: everything to the death, and I love you. My love's

1343
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:24,080
Speaker 2: not in question. It doesn't mean it doesn't take maintenance

1344
01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 2: to take it for granted that Oh that's we're fine.

1345
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:31,160
Speaker 2: I'll take it for granted. Oh we got you know,

1346
01:15:31,800 --> 01:15:34,640
Speaker 2: you've got the kids, the family. It's all great to

1347
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:39,919
Speaker 2: take that for granted sometimes and not do the maintenance,

1348
01:15:41,479 --> 01:15:47,160
Speaker 2: which shouldn't feel like work. But is it's it's it's conscious,

1349
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:48,920
Speaker 2: it's it's it could take work. It can be a

1350
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:53,120
Speaker 2: thought and a choice you make to go that little

1351
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 2: thing I'm making my tea. She's not out. I really

1352
01:15:58,479 --> 01:15:59,800
Speaker 2: want to get to that pozzle.

1353
01:15:59,520 --> 01:16:00,000
Speaker 1: For those eightpes.

1354
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 2: Wanna make her one, put it in a yettie and

1355
01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:07,679
Speaker 2: have it covered so when she gets up a trick

1356
01:16:08,040 --> 01:16:12,000
Speaker 2: a little a little thoughtful, a little thoughtful thing like that?

1357
01:16:12,479 --> 01:16:13,120
Speaker 2: Was that work?

1358
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:13,560
Speaker 1: No?

1359
01:16:15,600 --> 01:16:20,840
Speaker 2: Is that delayed gratification for the relationship. Yes, you know

1360
01:16:21,760 --> 01:16:24,400
Speaker 2: that's gonna You know that that that that that'd be

1361
01:16:24,479 --> 01:16:27,160
Speaker 2: a nice thing to do for them. If I don't

1362
01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:30,879
Speaker 2: do it, start conna be missed. As a small example,

1363
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:34,360
Speaker 2: I think another one with love and you and I

1364
01:16:34,479 --> 01:16:38,400
Speaker 2: touched on it, I think before cameras were recording. Is

1365
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:44,000
Speaker 2: the idea that you find the one and that's the one,

1366
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:49,559
Speaker 2: and and and and wow, I make the male makes

1367
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:55,000
Speaker 2: them wonder woman and they think we're superman. Oh shit,

1368
01:16:56,640 --> 01:16:59,560
Speaker 2: don't do that to me, and don't let me do

1369
01:16:59,680 --> 01:16:59,880
Speaker 2: that to you.

1370
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:00,120
Speaker 1: You.

1371
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:05,960
Speaker 2: I can't live up to that. You can't live up

1372
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:09,920
Speaker 2: to that, back to unanimous and seeking perfection. That's a

1373
01:17:10,080 --> 01:17:14,120
Speaker 2: tough nut to handle. When you're like project that on someone.

1374
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:18,720
Speaker 2: That's unfair to project onto them, and they projected on you,

1375
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:20,519
Speaker 2: and neither one of you can live up to it.

1376
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:22,800
Speaker 2: It's the idea of the and I and and and

1377
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:26,000
Speaker 2: and this is not a popular statement with my wife,

1378
01:17:26,360 --> 01:17:29,160
Speaker 2: but I think it's for me. It's true. And I

1379
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:33,559
Speaker 2: hope that maybe maybe I'm too practical about love, maybe

1380
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:36,880
Speaker 2: I'm not romantic enough about it. But I don't see

1381
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:44,880
Speaker 2: how the honeymoon period last forever. I just the honeymoon

1382
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:48,519
Speaker 2: is all on the hope, the possible. We don't know

1383
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,320
Speaker 2: each other as well, so we're gonna know each other.

1384
01:17:50,320 --> 01:17:52,880
Speaker 2: It's before we get married and we make the consecration

1385
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,560
Speaker 2: and covenant of marriage. And now we're getting in this

1386
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:59,879
Speaker 2: real stuff, and we got real pains and real pleasures

1387
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:05,280
Speaker 2: and real responsibilities and real fatigue and real winds together

1388
01:18:06,360 --> 01:18:08,960
Speaker 2: and we're building. We've expanded, and they've got a family,

1389
01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:13,200
Speaker 2: and oh man, we're bonfire. But that's harder. And it's

1390
01:18:13,320 --> 01:18:19,120
Speaker 2: not honeymoons only in the the perfection stage. It's only

1391
01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:22,920
Speaker 2: in the up in the air, while the youth of

1392
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,960
Speaker 2: at the beginning, the springtime, the fresh bud and I

1393
01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:28,280
Speaker 2: love it, but it's if you try to hold on

1394
01:18:28,520 --> 01:18:32,280
Speaker 2: to that hundred watt bulb to be the light all

1395
01:18:32,439 --> 01:18:37,799
Speaker 2: the time, you're wonder woman, I'm super man. It seems

1396
01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:39,800
Speaker 2: to me humanly impractical to live up to it and

1397
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:43,320
Speaker 2: unfair to each other. There's a preacher down in San Diego,

1398
01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:45,800
Speaker 2: buddy Mark Norby turned me on too, him forgetting his name,

1399
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:50,639
Speaker 2: but he talks about it loves more like a It's

1400
01:18:50,680 --> 01:18:53,720
Speaker 2: a thirty white bulb in the light a little bit.

1401
01:18:54,120 --> 01:18:57,800
Speaker 2: It'll last longer, it'll illuminate longer, not as bright, but

1402
01:18:57,920 --> 01:19:00,960
Speaker 2: it'll lasts longer, and it's more realistic for you, and

1403
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:07,559
Speaker 2: it's more human and it's still lovely. It's always stuck

1404
01:19:07,640 --> 01:19:07,800
Speaker 2: with me.

1405
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:11,880
Speaker 1: Is I've never heard that? Yeah, you know it is true,

1406
01:19:12,479 --> 01:19:16,160
Speaker 1: which honeymoon period loss as it is, and things can

1407
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:19,719
Speaker 1: go deeper and be more powerful and be more profound,

1408
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:23,560
Speaker 1: but not be the same. And that if you just

1409
01:19:24,200 --> 01:19:27,120
Speaker 1: dated someone new for three to six months every Yeah,

1410
01:19:27,320 --> 01:19:29,400
Speaker 1: you had experienced the honeymoon period every year. If you

1411
01:19:29,479 --> 01:19:30,040
Speaker 1: rest of your.

1412
01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:34,680
Speaker 2: Life, it keeps crash is transient. It was all brand new,

1413
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:37,240
Speaker 2: but it didn't have all four seasons. You didn't get

1414
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:40,200
Speaker 2: into act two, where the conflict comes, where somebody is

1415
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:44,519
Speaker 2: getting sick, where you didn't get to Act three, where

1416
01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:47,439
Speaker 2: you got to land the plane and figure it out

1417
01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:52,280
Speaker 2: and come down and be on your deathbed going I

1418
01:19:52,400 --> 01:19:55,599
Speaker 2: love you too. Yeah, I did. We did our eye,

1419
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:59,680
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. I always it's a I

1420
01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:02,760
Speaker 2: don't always in my younger years and like, what what

1421
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:04,360
Speaker 2: do you think? There's a god and you see it?

1422
01:20:04,439 --> 01:20:05,160
Speaker 1: What do you? What do you do?

1423
01:20:05,720 --> 01:20:08,960
Speaker 2: Just say to you? I was always like, he's gonna

1424
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:12,400
Speaker 2: say thank you. This has hit me five years ago,

1425
01:20:12,680 --> 01:20:16,760
Speaker 2: a feven years ago. I was like, no, that's a

1426
01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:20,599
Speaker 2: bit arrogant therapauds. What he's probably gonna save immediately. He's

1427
01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:21,479
Speaker 2: gonna say you're welcome.

1428
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:27,880
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. In that it is a.

1429
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:35,880
Speaker 2: A way I'm seeing life more now and just something's

1430
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:38,720
Speaker 2: gonna have have beforeward. In that as an inherent sort

1431
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:41,640
Speaker 2: of what are we doing? You know it's lifelong? Is

1432
01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:46,000
Speaker 2: it short? As hard as ease? I don't know. It's

1433
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:52,120
Speaker 2: hard some ways. It's really long, Jesus, really short easy sometimes,

1434
01:20:52,560 --> 01:21:05,639
Speaker 2: but yeah, you're welcome, and I can say thank you. Yeah,

1435
01:21:07,240 --> 01:21:09,800
Speaker 2: but I've got to. Yeah, We've talked about I'm happy to.

1436
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:13,040
Speaker 2: I'm happy to and I'm not going to shy away

1437
01:21:13,280 --> 01:21:16,519
Speaker 2: from him with still being sensitive to people posicians that

1438
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:20,320
Speaker 2: are like you to say it withccnaughey and he's saying,

1439
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:21,559
Speaker 2: you're welcome to me you know what I mean. I'm

1440
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,920
Speaker 2: not living a life of I want to be open

1441
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:27,400
Speaker 2: and understand that. At the same time, I'm very happy

1442
01:21:27,479 --> 01:21:31,920
Speaker 2: and level eyed with with saying and believing that and

1443
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:37,360
Speaker 2: having hm a life where if I meet yeah, he she,

1444
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:46,280
Speaker 2: it's going to go You're welcome. And that leads into

1445
01:21:46,360 --> 01:21:48,439
Speaker 2: that I wrote it in green Lights about I do

1446
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:53,400
Speaker 2: have a hunch that the world's conspired to make me

1447
01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:57,960
Speaker 2: happy again. I may be off my rocker, I may

1448
01:21:58,040 --> 01:22:02,519
Speaker 2: be that may be a a conspiracy theory for the upside.

1449
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:05,599
Speaker 2: I may be delusionly optimistic, and I I don't care.

1450
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:10,120
Speaker 2: I actually believe it. It's the trust first thing, and

1451
01:22:10,240 --> 01:22:13,920
Speaker 2: I actually believe it. And I believe I'm a part

1452
01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:16,200
Speaker 2: of a lot of other people's army that are there

1453
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:19,240
Speaker 2: conspiring to make them happy. And I believe that I've

1454
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:23,280
Speaker 2: gone a lot on an army that are going not

1455
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:27,120
Speaker 2: consciously just I believe. I look, I believe, I know,

1456
01:22:27,160 --> 01:22:28,240
Speaker 2: I know I got a lot of people in life

1457
01:22:28,280 --> 01:22:30,599
Speaker 2: that believe. I know that if I'm around, I'm looking

1458
01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:32,840
Speaker 2: out for and I have the best interest in mine,

1459
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:36,320
Speaker 2: whether they know it or not consciously. And I know

1460
01:22:36,439 --> 01:22:38,760
Speaker 2: I have a lot of people in life some I

1461
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:41,680
Speaker 2: know what, I know what I don't that are like

1462
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:46,320
Speaker 2: looking out for you McConaughey, and I'm veryfully thankful for that.

1463
01:22:46,439 --> 01:22:48,559
Speaker 2: But I believe that and it is I know it's true.

1464
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:52,320
Speaker 1: Do you think we can all build that belief?

1465
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:57,920
Speaker 2: Yes, I do think we can build that belief everything's conspiring.

1466
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,720
Speaker 2: I don't think we can rely on that belief. I

1467
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:02,320
Speaker 2: do think we can build that belief. I do think that.

1468
01:23:04,720 --> 01:23:10,320
Speaker 2: What reason. You know, kiddos, we're going to acl kiddos,

1469
01:23:10,920 --> 01:23:14,280
Speaker 2: We're going in backstage, come on, me and your mom

1470
01:23:14,280 --> 01:23:18,840
Speaker 2: are here, past security guard. Let's just say it. Did

1471
01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:21,720
Speaker 2: y'all say thank you? Yeah we did? Or no, I

1472
01:23:21,760 --> 01:23:25,200
Speaker 2: Did'll go go say thank you? Why? I don't know.

1473
01:23:25,439 --> 01:23:28,559
Speaker 2: Let's think selfishly, Bud, ten years from now, when you're

1474
01:23:28,560 --> 01:23:31,439
Speaker 2: at the concert and your mom and dad ain't here,

1475
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:36,160
Speaker 2: who got you in backstage to the front of the line,

1476
01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:39,160
Speaker 2: and you're twenty people back in the line and they're

1477
01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:43,120
Speaker 2: saying no more? That's it. It's a chance that security

1478
01:23:43,160 --> 01:23:46,000
Speaker 2: guard may look down and go, hey, leve By, come

1479
01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:48,880
Speaker 2: on up, come on in because you said thank you.

1480
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:52,960
Speaker 2: I'm not saying be that way for like, oh, then

1481
01:23:53,040 --> 01:23:56,320
Speaker 2: I can get more I'll get more privileges. I'm just saying,

1482
01:23:57,439 --> 01:24:01,080
Speaker 2: where you go, how you interact with people at whatever height,

1483
01:24:01,240 --> 01:24:04,880
Speaker 2: in the back kitchen, to the back door, to the alley,

1484
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:09,280
Speaker 2: to the homeless, to the billionaire, to the present, how

1485
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:15,880
Speaker 2: you interact with people you're slowly building on an army.

1486
01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:16,400
Speaker 1: I had this.

1487
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:22,679
Speaker 2: I tell this example. And I was coming home about

1488
01:24:22,840 --> 01:24:27,360
Speaker 2: two years ago, two lane highway and it was all parked,

1489
01:24:27,439 --> 01:24:29,680
Speaker 2: just kind of a traffic jam was taking There were

1490
01:24:29,720 --> 01:24:31,639
Speaker 2: just moving five miles an hour stop five hours our stop.

1491
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:34,439
Speaker 2: And there was a lady in a car here and

1492
01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:37,519
Speaker 2: we just moved into this new home. Lady car and

1493
01:24:37,600 --> 01:24:39,839
Speaker 2: everyone's like, oh, you know, get forward as quick as possible.

1494
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:41,560
Speaker 2: And she was waiting to get into the tournament, and

1495
01:24:41,640 --> 01:24:43,200
Speaker 2: so I was like, we're not going anywhere. I slow

1496
01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:47,160
Speaker 2: down let her in fifteen minutes it takes to get home.

1497
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:50,200
Speaker 2: I'm noticing I'm right behind this lady. As I approached

1498
01:24:50,240 --> 01:24:52,720
Speaker 2: my house, she pulls in the driveway to the first

1499
01:24:52,800 --> 01:24:54,400
Speaker 2: driveway before I get to my house. I pull on

1500
01:24:54,479 --> 01:24:56,759
Speaker 2: my house. I get out of my car. It's my neighbor.

1501
01:24:57,680 --> 01:24:59,880
Speaker 2: I didn't know what was my neighbor, but I'm like,

1502
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:04,000
Speaker 2: I got somebody inherently watching over my house when I'm

1503
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:07,000
Speaker 2: not here from now because I let her in back there,

1504
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,880
Speaker 2: and she goes, thank you for letting me in back there.

1505
01:25:10,920 --> 01:25:16,120
Speaker 2: I remember that. Did I do that because I'm hoping

1506
01:25:16,160 --> 01:25:17,720
Speaker 2: I can get a neighbor and part of an army

1507
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:21,320
Speaker 2: that can keep an eye out? Or no, did I

1508
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:24,320
Speaker 2: get an army someone on the side?

1509
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:28,080
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah. The conspiring point too. I think if you,

1510
01:25:28,960 --> 01:25:32,400
Speaker 1: if you believe that everything's conspiring for you to be happy,

1511
01:25:33,200 --> 01:25:36,760
Speaker 1: you just start to notice those moments. And I think

1512
01:25:36,880 --> 01:25:41,040
Speaker 1: noticing is so much more important than thinking, because we

1513
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:44,200
Speaker 1: all think, but we don't always notice. Yes, It's like,

1514
01:25:44,320 --> 01:25:46,560
Speaker 1: what do we notice every day? If you notice the

1515
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:49,760
Speaker 1: security guard who opened the door, if you notice the

1516
01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:54,280
Speaker 1: you know, the lady who eventually becomes part of your

1517
01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:56,400
Speaker 1: army at home, It's like, what are you noticing? Because

1518
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:58,360
Speaker 1: you can notice both, Like, I think I could say

1519
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:01,120
Speaker 1: it with you, and I'm sure you could tell me

1520
01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:03,880
Speaker 1: two stories. One story of everyone who screwed you over,

1521
01:26:04,520 --> 01:26:07,080
Speaker 1: took advantage of you, exploited you, where the trust for

1522
01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:10,160
Speaker 1: us didn't work, And I think you're telling me another

1523
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:13,840
Speaker 1: story today which you're noticing, which is you saying oh, yeah.

1524
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:16,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So what do

1525
01:26:16,640 --> 01:26:18,600
Speaker 2: we yeah, what do we notice? What are we aware of?

1526
01:26:18,760 --> 01:26:22,320
Speaker 2: What do we give credit to? I think that's part

1527
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:29,040
Speaker 2: of the athleticism of life, because that doesn't mean I'm

1528
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:34,320
Speaker 2: not skeptical, correct. It does mean I'm not cynical. It

1529
01:26:34,400 --> 01:26:40,640
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I'm not clever and wise and letting my

1530
01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:44,800
Speaker 2: home be just pillaged and a lot to protect and

1531
01:26:44,880 --> 01:26:49,040
Speaker 2: I protected. It doesn't mean I'm foolish with myself or

1532
01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:51,040
Speaker 2: with my things and my life and the family and

1533
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:54,479
Speaker 2: things that built. But yeah, what do I what do

1534
01:26:54,560 --> 01:26:59,160
Speaker 2: we notice? What do we give credit to? And go, oh,

1535
01:26:59,240 --> 01:27:04,040
Speaker 2: let's tend that garden, Let's multiply that, let's get some

1536
01:27:04,240 --> 01:27:09,800
Speaker 2: compound interest on that r o I. Let's make that epidemic,

1537
01:27:11,760 --> 01:27:15,360
Speaker 2: not the disease, not the wreck, not the harm. Let

1538
01:27:15,479 --> 01:27:17,839
Speaker 2: talk about it in points of prayers. Make the positives

1539
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:23,600
Speaker 2: plural and the negative singular. And don't talk about the

1540
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:28,519
Speaker 2: negatives in the present tense if they happened, talk about

1541
01:27:28,560 --> 01:27:31,080
Speaker 2: them in the past tense. You stop their path to prophecy.

1542
01:27:31,479 --> 01:27:36,000
Speaker 2: That's the noticing thing. And that doesn't mean don't oh no,

1543
01:27:36,160 --> 01:27:39,479
Speaker 2: I don't see the negatives. No, no, no, that's childhood. Hey,

1544
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:47,479
Speaker 2: Hallmark card, dream it, you can do it? Positive thinking. Yeah,

1545
01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:50,160
Speaker 2: see how far that gets you? You know what I mean,

1546
01:27:50,280 --> 01:27:52,720
Speaker 2: you'll be done unto and the you know, so we

1547
01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:57,760
Speaker 2: go from innocence to naivete to skepticism and then if

1548
01:27:57,800 --> 01:27:59,800
Speaker 2: we can hold off there from going off the ledge

1549
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:05,960
Speaker 2: to that fourth one, which is a disease cynicism. I'm

1550
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:11,800
Speaker 2: off for skepticism and noticing the negative, seeing the harm,

1551
01:28:12,360 --> 01:28:16,760
Speaker 2: noticing the disease. But she'd like to spend time and

1552
01:28:17,040 --> 01:28:20,519
Speaker 2: notice for and compound the interest on the prevention of

1553
01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:25,320
Speaker 2: those cures or the multiplied factor of the good things

1554
01:28:25,400 --> 01:28:27,760
Speaker 2: that are conspiring to work for us and are just

1555
01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:29,920
Speaker 2: like there we go, that works not only for me,

1556
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:33,559
Speaker 2: for you too. Make those epidemic again.

1557
01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:34,880
Speaker 1: Flip flip flip.

1558
01:28:34,920 --> 01:28:37,519
Speaker 2: The word epidemics always used. It's just something like, oh no,

1559
01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:42,040
Speaker 2: just like consequence, we all go. I don't not the consequence,

1560
01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:45,920
Speaker 2: I no get consequence with everything, And the positive side,

1561
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:48,280
Speaker 2: that pleasure side of consequence, is just as valuable as

1562
01:28:48,320 --> 01:28:48,799
Speaker 2: the negative.

1563
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:53,599
Speaker 1: You gotta you know, epidemic, selfish, consequence. Those are the three.

1564
01:28:53,760 --> 01:28:57,080
Speaker 1: Then yeah, there you're gonna fight for I think I

1565
01:28:57,120 --> 01:28:58,760
Speaker 1: can talk to you for hours and hours, and I've

1566
01:28:58,800 --> 01:29:00,960
Speaker 1: been so grateful for your time and energy. We we

1567
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:02,920
Speaker 1: end every episode with a final five, which you did

1568
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:05,760
Speaker 1: last time, so we've reconstructed them for you. Uh, these

1569
01:29:05,960 --> 01:29:08,080
Speaker 1: questions have to be answered in one sentence, but I'll

1570
01:29:08,439 --> 01:29:11,080
Speaker 1: probably want you to riffs that feel free, don't, don't

1571
01:29:11,120 --> 01:29:14,639
Speaker 1: feel any pressure them out in one sentence. You can try.

1572
01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:17,000
Speaker 1: But if but I would like you to, I want

1573
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:20,160
Speaker 1: you to free flow. But yeah, you're always the best

1574
01:29:20,160 --> 01:29:21,320
Speaker 1: when your free flowing, So I don't want to. I

1575
01:29:21,360 --> 01:29:26,360
Speaker 1: don't wanna humper you. And yeah, questionable one. What do

1576
01:29:26,439 --> 01:29:27,639
Speaker 1: you believe makes a good dad?

1577
01:29:28,880 --> 01:29:40,240
Speaker 2: Mmm? Time be in there? You know, I say this

1578
01:29:40,520 --> 01:29:47,760
Speaker 2: is that's what makes a good father. You know we're

1579
01:29:47,840 --> 01:29:51,360
Speaker 2: sometimes we're under the illusion if we make the baby

1580
01:29:52,600 --> 01:29:58,920
Speaker 2: with father. No you're not. You may be either the

1581
01:29:59,040 --> 01:30:03,920
Speaker 2: daddy papa, But it takes time to be a father,

1582
01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:15,200
Speaker 2: to be there for your children, to balance sharing with

1583
01:30:15,479 --> 01:30:18,400
Speaker 2: them what you already know so they can learn a

1584
01:30:18,439 --> 01:30:22,080
Speaker 2: little quicker and hold them back and let them fall

1585
01:30:22,160 --> 01:30:25,200
Speaker 2: from that tree limb and bruise their arm on their own,

1586
01:30:25,280 --> 01:30:27,840
Speaker 2: because that's how they'll remember it. Because even though you knew.

1587
01:30:29,200 --> 01:30:31,960
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's certain heights. I call it tree limbs, or

1588
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:36,120
Speaker 2: certain kids go out on limbs, and if we rush

1589
01:30:37,080 --> 01:30:39,120
Speaker 2: every limb they go out on, I mean they're on

1590
01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:41,360
Speaker 2: the limb and they're they're they're five years old, and

1591
01:30:41,439 --> 01:30:45,639
Speaker 2: it's it's five feet above the soft Saint Augustine grass.

1592
01:30:46,280 --> 01:30:49,800
Speaker 2: If we rush over there and go get down, they no,

1593
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:53,320
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're gonna You're gonna stump their growth.

1594
01:30:53,439 --> 01:30:56,040
Speaker 2: And they have fear of heights. Kids don't fear. Aren't

1595
01:30:56,080 --> 01:30:58,320
Speaker 2: kid of heights until they die, until they fall? All right,

1596
01:30:58,680 --> 01:31:00,960
Speaker 2: let them go out there to save fall. Make it

1597
01:31:01,040 --> 01:31:04,880
Speaker 2: a bruise. Now, there's certain ones. If they're sixty feet

1598
01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:09,280
Speaker 2: up and it's a concrete you might want to go, hey, Bud,

1599
01:31:09,640 --> 01:31:11,519
Speaker 2: I was thinking, come on, just take your time and

1600
01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:13,280
Speaker 2: come on over to the trunk and shimmy on that.

1601
01:31:13,960 --> 01:31:15,400
Speaker 2: Maybe get to help them get them down from that.

1602
01:31:15,479 --> 01:31:17,519
Speaker 2: But certain limbs, let them get on the end of it.

1603
01:31:17,560 --> 01:31:19,639
Speaker 2: So let them let them fall, Let let them get bruised.

1604
01:31:20,360 --> 01:31:23,120
Speaker 2: Let them they'll remember that from experience, and so yeah,

1605
01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:23,960
Speaker 2: I like it.

1606
01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:27,240
Speaker 1: Question number two, what does it mean to be a

1607
01:31:27,360 --> 01:31:27,920
Speaker 1: real man?

1608
01:31:28,880 --> 01:31:33,439
Speaker 2: To be a real man, Well, you know, staying on

1609
01:31:33,520 --> 01:31:36,679
Speaker 2: the fatherhood thing. And this is not this the only definition,

1610
01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:39,800
Speaker 2: but I'll piggyback off the last question. The only thing

1611
01:31:39,840 --> 01:31:42,000
Speaker 2: I ever knew in life I wanted to be was

1612
01:31:42,040 --> 01:31:45,160
Speaker 2: a father. And it is because I remember I was

1613
01:31:45,200 --> 01:31:47,080
Speaker 2: eight years old. My dad was a big yes sir

1614
01:31:47,120 --> 01:31:49,080
Speaker 2: and no sir man. So he would introduce me to

1615
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:51,240
Speaker 2: his friends, right, and I would always is eight year

1616
01:31:51,240 --> 01:31:54,200
Speaker 2: olds looking up from four, five, six, seven, eight years old,

1617
01:31:54,280 --> 01:31:56,519
Speaker 2: shake their hand, yes sir, nice to meet stain. And

1618
01:31:56,640 --> 01:31:59,400
Speaker 2: what hit me at eight years old was that all

1619
01:31:59,439 --> 01:32:01,680
Speaker 2: of those men whose chands I had shaken called them sir.

1620
01:32:01,920 --> 01:32:04,360
Speaker 2: They were dad, they were fathers. And in my eight

1621
01:32:04,439 --> 01:32:10,520
Speaker 2: year old monument, oh that's how you make it. That's success.

1622
01:32:12,080 --> 01:32:18,639
Speaker 2: Become a father, that's how you become a man. That's

1623
01:32:18,760 --> 01:32:25,679
Speaker 2: how you become a king. So that's not answer across

1624
01:32:25,680 --> 01:32:26,920
Speaker 2: the board, but that's gonna be mynder.

1625
01:32:27,000 --> 01:32:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. Uh, and I'll learned to do

1626
01:32:30,120 --> 01:32:33,960
Speaker 1: three because of time lost. One. What does it mean

1627
01:32:34,080 --> 01:32:35,360
Speaker 1: to be a good friend?

1628
01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:45,679
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Yeah, he's a good friend reminds their friend

1629
01:32:48,400 --> 01:32:52,840
Speaker 2: of the the best in themselves, the truth in themselves,

1630
01:32:55,200 --> 01:33:00,920
Speaker 2: whether it's there to say yeah, just like that when

1631
01:33:00,960 --> 01:33:04,840
Speaker 2: they are the most themselves, or whether it's there to go. Hey,

1632
01:33:06,880 --> 01:33:09,080
Speaker 2: you know you got to sell the way when in

1633
01:33:09,120 --> 01:33:11,120
Speaker 2: the situation you handled like this and it was so

1634
01:33:11,439 --> 01:33:16,479
Speaker 2: pure man, and it kind of didn't go that way.

1635
01:33:16,560 --> 01:33:17,680
Speaker 1: This did. Ah.

1636
01:33:18,640 --> 01:33:21,600
Speaker 2: So it's saying hard things and helping them kind of

1637
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:26,439
Speaker 2: renegotiate or showing to them objectively, Hey, I see who

1638
01:33:26,520 --> 01:33:29,120
Speaker 2: you are. You've shown me who you are, and then

1639
01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:33,360
Speaker 2: when you're you, I'm over here going on and uh,

1640
01:33:33,520 --> 01:33:37,519
Speaker 2: I take great pleasure in seeing you succeed without me.

1641
01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:41,200
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, that's powerable.

1642
01:33:42,400 --> 01:33:47,920
Speaker 2: A good friend really takes honest and earnest pleasure and

1643
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:52,000
Speaker 2: seeing their friends succeed without them.

1644
01:33:54,320 --> 01:33:56,600
Speaker 1: We to end. We got a little note from a

1645
01:33:56,640 --> 01:34:00,120
Speaker 1: good friend of yours who sent it in, and I

1646
01:34:00,160 --> 01:34:01,559
Speaker 1: think it would be better if you read it out

1647
01:34:01,600 --> 01:34:03,960
Speaker 1: loud than me, because it's for you, and so I'm

1648
01:34:04,000 --> 01:34:06,240
Speaker 1: going to hnd it to you and you can read it.

1649
01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:12,000
Speaker 2: As we got here, I marvel at how you move

1650
01:34:13,160 --> 01:34:18,519
Speaker 2: through this world. Amazing actor, besting author, innovative entrepreneur, first

1651
01:34:18,600 --> 01:34:22,720
Speaker 2: rate father, husband and son, but more than anything, a

1652
01:34:22,840 --> 01:34:27,920
Speaker 2: brilliant philosopher. And it is that philosophy that pervades everything

1653
01:34:28,080 --> 01:34:34,080
Speaker 2: you do, one that intertwines curiosity with poetry. From the

1654
01:34:34,160 --> 01:34:37,160
Speaker 2: time I met you nearly thirty years ago, I knew

1655
01:34:37,439 --> 01:34:41,240
Speaker 2: you were my brother, and you continue to inspire me

1656
01:34:41,360 --> 01:34:47,360
Speaker 2: to this day. Love you, buddy, would ps miss our

1657
01:34:47,400 --> 01:34:49,599
Speaker 2: cuddle time me and Camilla.

1658
01:34:49,720 --> 01:34:50,040
Speaker 1: That is.

1659
01:34:53,720 --> 01:34:58,800
Speaker 2: Perfect. Ah, thank you, buddy, Thank you. He is a

1660
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:03,600
Speaker 2: great friend. He is a great friend. Boy, he is

1661
01:35:03,640 --> 01:35:06,200
Speaker 2: a good friend to me. I love the way that

1662
01:35:06,400 --> 01:35:11,920
Speaker 2: he loves me. It's really really beautiful to receive.

1663
01:35:13,600 --> 01:35:16,320
Speaker 1: Well, Matthew. Thank you for your time, your energy, whether

1664
01:35:16,360 --> 01:35:18,160
Speaker 1: I'm reading your books, whether you're in your presence, or

1665
01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:19,600
Speaker 1: whether I'm listening to you. As I said to you

1666
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:22,080
Speaker 1: before the first time I interviewed you. I listened to

1667
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:27,000
Speaker 1: your acceptance speech from the Oscars every day for thirty days,

1668
01:35:27,640 --> 01:35:29,760
Speaker 1: once upon a time in my life, and the only

1669
01:35:29,800 --> 01:35:32,599
Speaker 1: two speeches I've done that with. One is Steve Jobs's

1670
01:35:32,600 --> 01:35:36,320
Speaker 1: commencement speech at Stanford and one is your acceptance speech.

1671
01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:37,920
Speaker 1: I listened to it every day for thirty days. In it,

1672
01:35:39,160 --> 01:35:44,600
Speaker 1: I find when you do that, internalizes ideas and concepts

1673
01:35:44,640 --> 01:35:48,840
Speaker 1: and energy in a way that you don't get if

1674
01:35:48,840 --> 01:35:50,600
Speaker 1: you don't repeat. So very grateful to.

1675
01:35:50,640 --> 01:35:53,160
Speaker 2: Your life, your work, and you're welcome and thanks for

1676
01:35:53,240 --> 01:35:55,439
Speaker 2: sharing that. Thank you man, Yeah, thank you so much.

1677
01:35:55,520 --> 01:35:56,320
Speaker 2: Had a wonderful time.

1678
01:35:56,240 --> 01:35:58,960
Speaker 1: Appreciate you. If this is the year that you're trying

1679
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:02,000
Speaker 1: to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need

1680
01:36:02,080 --> 01:36:04,760
Speaker 1: you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on

1681
01:36:04,920 --> 01:36:08,000
Speaker 1: how to break into your most creative self, how to

1682
01:36:08,160 --> 01:36:12,120
Speaker 1: use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret

1683
01:36:12,400 --> 01:36:15,280
Speaker 1: to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to

1684
01:36:15,320 --> 01:36:19,040
Speaker 1: find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is

1685
01:36:19,120 --> 01:36:19,680
Speaker 1: the one for you.

1686
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:22,400
Speaker 2: Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value,

1687
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:25,120
Speaker 2: Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all

1688
01:36:25,240 --> 01:36:28,800
Speaker 2: of the value. That's the success comes when you say

1689
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:31,280
Speaker 2: I like this enough for other people to see it.