1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,960 Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for you. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry letter. Here we go. Subject pregnant. 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: Hey check. Oh all right, good morning, morning show family. 4 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: I am a twenty eight year old working pregnant woman. Well, 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: here is my problem. I began dating a friend of 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: three years about a year ago when he resurfaced in 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: my life. He was in the midst of a rough 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: time where due to tragedy, he lost almost everything he owned. 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: Being the kind and giving soul that I am, I 10 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: offered my help. We both were going through a breakup 11 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: stage as well. Long story short, I let him move 12 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,599 Speaker 1: in with me. He is an artist and he had 13 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 1: to rebuild his tool and supply arsenal. So as he 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: did not he did that. I never asked him to 15 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 1: chip in for anything. So as he did that, I 16 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: never asked him to chip in for anything. I was 17 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: actually glad to help. So several months went by and 18 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: he had little to no money coming in and I 19 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: was starting to wear It was starting to wear on 20 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: me financially and mental. I asked him about getting a 21 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: job and his reply was that he is not the 22 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: type to work for someone making chump change when he 23 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: can sell his designs making hundreds a day. Okay, sounds good, 24 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: but you're not. But you're not, so what's next? Fast 25 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: forward a few months and now I'm pregnant. I am 26 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: very happy to be blessed with my daughter, but I 27 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: seem to be the only one concerned with how she 28 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,039 Speaker 1: will be provided for. I make a decent living at 29 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: my job, pay all of my own bills, and very 30 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: rarely ask for anything, well aside from asking him to 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: get a job to help support his child. I recently 32 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: had to move from my one bedroom to a two bedroom, 33 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: and he's expecting me to ask him to stay, but 34 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: I told him, unless he can pay all the utilities consistently, 35 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: then no. Well that was a month ago, and if 36 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: I were waiting on him, I would be in the 37 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: dark with no water. We've gone to spiritual counseling where 38 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: priests that he has full faith in told him he 39 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: needs to take care of his family. We've had counsel 40 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: with my parents where he lied to them about his 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: plans to take care of us. Now they are very 42 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: unhappy with him, and I've tried to communicate my concerns 43 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: with him, but nothing is working. Don't get me wrong, 44 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: emotionally he is every woman's dream, but he is not 45 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: financially supportive. And this is where my confusion lies, on 46 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: my priorities out of order, because I put money a 47 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: little bit of head of emotion, a little bit ahead 48 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: of emotion. I am concerned about the future and provision 49 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 1: of my child, not me or him or anything else. 50 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: Right now. She's my top priority. But I need help, 51 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: and he's putting pride before blood. Is this right stuck 52 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: between a rock and a hard place. You're stuck between 53 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: a rock and a hard place. You don't have to 54 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: be stuck. You know now that you have identified the problem, 55 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: and it is him. You can change. This man who 56 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: is now your baby's daddy is a loser. Okay. Any 57 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: man who thinks he thinks like he does about getting 58 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: a job is just trifling um, you know. And if 59 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: you keep make excuses for him and letting him, this 60 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: grown man, live off you like you're doing, then you'll 61 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,679 Speaker 1: end up being trifling to okay, your whole life everything 62 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,399 Speaker 1: you know. You're really really wrong about him. You say 63 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: he is emotionally every woman's dream, He's not available to 64 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: you emotionally, financially or anything else. You know, please, he's 65 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: got a baby on the way and he won't even 66 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: get a job, okay, to help out. Can't you see 67 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: the selfishness in this guy? I say, right now, tell 68 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: him to get a job or he is out, or 69 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: else you'll just be taking care of two babies. That's it, 70 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: and that's how you know your life is gonna be 71 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: until you wake up. All right, Steve, come on, let's 72 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: go to part two of your response to today's Strawberry Letter, 73 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: pregnant paycheck, Good morning, Morning show family. I'm a twenty 74 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: eight year are working pregnant woman? Well, here's my problem. 75 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: I began dating a friend of three years about a 76 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: year ago when he resurface in my life. He was 77 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: in the midst of a tough time time where due 78 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: to tragedy. To due the tragedy, he lost almost everything 79 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: he owned, and being the kind of giving soul that 80 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: I am, I offered my help. We're both going through 81 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: a break up stage as well. Long story short, I 82 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: let him move in with me. He is an artist 83 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: and had to rebuild his tool and supply arsenal as 84 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: so as he did that, I never asked him to 85 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 1: chip in for anything. I was actually glad to help. 86 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: So several months went by and he had little to 87 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: no money coming in and it was starting to wear 88 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: on me financially and mentally asked him about getting the job, 89 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: and his reply was that he's not the type of 90 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: work for someone making chump change when he could sell 91 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: his design making hundreds a day. Okay, sounds good, but 92 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: you're not so horse and neck. Fast forward a few 93 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: more months and now I'm pregnant. I'm very happy to 94 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: be blessed with my daughter, but I seem to be 95 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: the only one concerned with how she would be provided for. 96 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: I make a decent living at my job, pay all 97 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: my own bills, and rarely ask for anything, well aside 98 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: from asking him to get a job to help support 99 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: his child. I recently had to move from my one 100 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: bed room to a two bed room, and he's expecting 101 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: me to ask him to stay, but I told him, 102 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: unless he can pay all the utilities consistently, then no. 103 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: Well that was a month ago, and if I were 104 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: waiting on him, I would be in the dark with 105 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: no water. We've gone the spiritual counseling where a priest 106 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: that he had full faith them told him, man, he 107 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 1: needs to take care of his family. We've had to 108 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: counsel with my parents where he lied to them about 109 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: his plans to take care of us. Now they are 110 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: very unhappy with him. I've tried to communicate my concerns 111 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: with him, but nothing is working. Don't get me wrong. 112 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: Emotionally he's every woman's dream, but he is not financially supportive. 113 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: And this is where my confusion lies on my priorities 114 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: out of order because I put money a little bit 115 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: ahead of emotion. Am I concerned about the future and 116 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: provision of my child, not him, Not me or him 117 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,239 Speaker 1: or anyone else. Right now, he's my She's my top priority. 118 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: But I need help and he's putting pride before blood. 119 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: Is this right? Stuck between the rock and hearth? First 120 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: of all, you're not stocking. I agree with Shirley, you 121 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: are not stuck. Let me go over a couple of things. 122 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: A woman marries for two reasons, love and security. To 123 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: number one reason, security not only meaning money, but just 124 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,919 Speaker 1: to have someone in her life that she can depend on, 125 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: confide in, and dream and be all with. That's security 126 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: woman thinking about. But they're married for love. Okay, you 127 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: already loved the guy. But the security issue is a problem. 128 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: Why because you're dating a little artist boy. Now, let's 129 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: go over this profession right here. Not to knock it 130 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: if that's what you're doing, but let's talk about this 131 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: for a minute. He reserves in your life after a 132 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: tough time when due to tragedy, he lost almost everything 133 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: he owned. Okay, now, since here ain't been working, let's 134 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: go over really what he lost doing this tragedy. What happened? 135 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: A strong wind came by and blew his easel and 136 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: paint set off the porch. What tragedy? A fire broke 137 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: out in the bathroom and burn up his makeup that 138 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: he was using to paint this dummy that he was 139 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 1: gonna sail down at the car crash Dumby show. I'm 140 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: just trying to figure out what tragedy happened in this 141 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 1: boy's life that cost him, because here's what she said. 142 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: He's an artist and had to rebuild his tool and supply. Awesome, 143 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: All right, let's go over that. We got to get 144 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: back these paint brushes. We need some more construction paper. 145 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: We're gonna need a couple of cloths. We're gonna need 146 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: some passtails. We're gonna need some paint thin them. How 147 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: long will it take for this boy to build back 148 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: his awesome He is a painter now he ain't working, 149 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: and his pride is getting in the way of him 150 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: taking care of his responsibility as a man. You didn't 151 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: got with this food right here? Who ain't really you're 152 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: saying the letter emotionally, he's every woman's dream. You are 153 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: emotionally drained, emotionally zapped, You are emotionally frustrated, and you 154 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: are emotionally alone because you're the only one to providing 155 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: for you and the baby that's on the way. What 156 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: emotionally dreaming about him? You like? Well, since he wants 157 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: to paint and don't want to get a job making 158 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: chump change, he figured he can make hundreds selling his design. 159 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: But that's like you said, But you're not so horsenecks. 160 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: We're giving some suggestions on paint a sign, will work 161 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: for food? Put your art skill to work. Why don't 162 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: you go in there and paint on an employment application? 163 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:10,199 Speaker 1: Use your skill? Why don't you brushstroke you a job, 164 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: draw a job on Why don't you paint the center 165 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: lines on city streets? You can use your guilt to 166 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: produce an income. Why don't you paint bill boards? Climb 167 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: up there. Somebody got to design that cute little chick 168 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: fil a bill board. Got them cows, talk about them chickens. 169 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 1: That'd be a good job. It's a lot of weight. 170 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 1: But right now, help paint houses. It's a lot of 171 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 1: houses that need paint. All right, Steve, you know we 172 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: gotta go email us or instagram us your thoughts on 173 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at my girl, surely don't forget to 174 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: Please join me. You can join me to Houston. I 175 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 1: would love to have you, uh this Thursday, one thirty 176 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:57,319 Speaker 1: p m. Eastern Time for the Strawberry Letter Live after 177 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: show on Facebook. Okay, we'll talk about that day's letter, 178 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: we'll talk about trending topics. I'll have my fresh strawberry 179 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: pick of the week. So please join me. Okay,