WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Lift For a “Friend” 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:07.880 Rooking jewels second day. You know, women are so hard 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:11.600 to read sometimes because girls like a guy who is 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:15.440 close with his family usually right, And then you end 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:18.200 up living with your mom when you're twenty five years old, 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:23.360 and then they judge you for it. You can't get 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:26.480 that much closer with your family than living with him, right, Yeah, 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:29.600 that's the problem that Carter is having. Carter is on 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:31.440 the phone to do a second date update right now. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:34.360 He emailed us about a girl named Lily. Carter thinks 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:37.199 the fact that he lives with his mom might have 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.319 turned literally off. Carter. How you doing, man? I'm doing 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:41.680 all right? How are you guys? Good? First of all, 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.239 I want to say I support your living situation. I 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:46.480 lived with my parents when I was twenty five, delivering newspapers, 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.960 killing it and and it was awesome. I had no 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:50.600 problem with it. But I could see how a girl 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:52.000 would be turned off by that. So that's why you 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:54.200 think the girl is not calling you back today? Yeah, 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:55.960 that's my hunch. All right. Where did you meet her? 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.800 First of all? I met her online online? All right? 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:00.560 Did you tell her right away that you lived with 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:02.120 her mom? Or did you did she have to come 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.480 pick you up? Because you also don't have a car. No, No, 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:06.400 I have a car. And I'd like to make it 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.840 clear the only reason I'm living with my mom right 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:11.800 now is because I'm saving up to my house. That's awesome, Carter, 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:14.400 It's happening soon. So yes, I just need to save 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:16.640 up some money. As you know, it's you know, is 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:18.120 mom coming to live with you at the house when 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.679 you buy it. Mom's making the down payment. He's just 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.240 working up the mortgage. You guys, this day and age, 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.000 lots of people have to move home at some point. Oh, 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:29.399 I know, it's it's money. It's more common than you think. Yeah, 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:32.240 but they all always say I'm saving money too. Yeah, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:39.000 tell us a little bit about your date. Okay, So well, 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:41.280 I guess we're just meet at my house. And when 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:45.199 she got there, like my mom basically opened the door, 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.400 and you could tell she was like a little shot. 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:49.920 I mean I was kind of standing behind my mom, 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.560 but Lily was a little shocked, like, wow, am I 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.440 at the right place? Who is this person? I'm picturing 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:57.960 your mom answering the door in her bathrobe? Did she 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:01.160 have no? No? No, no, she was not in her bathroom? 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.520 All right? Yeah, you know she was just you know, 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.960 normal stuff like whatever moms were, you know, whatever moms 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:13.600 weans and stuff. But it was definitely awkward. I would 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:17.400 have preferred to answer the door myself. I'm not trying 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:19.400 to hide anything, but I just think it made it 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.200 was like right off the bat, that was through like 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:23.880 first impression of things. You know. But Carter, if you 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:26.720 live with your mom, you should probably tell somebody that 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.160 before they meet you at the house, you know what 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.520 I mean, like at least Warner. Hey, oh, I know, 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:32.800 I just you know, I mean a part of me 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.040 doesn't want to be judged for that, Like right off 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:36.640 the bat. If I tell her that, she's gonna be 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:39.600 like never mind. So your mom answered the door when 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.480 she got to your house. Yeah, And of course my mom, 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.160 you know, asked her a couple of questions, and it 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.120 was kind of awkward. I mean, it wasn't terrible. It 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:47.840 was just a little awkward because she felt like she 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:50.880 was sixteen dating in high school all over again, being 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.560 my mom. I mean, it's just like she's awesome, but 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:58.400 she she just has questions of course. So but the 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:01.679 date went really well, Like we went to a really 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.000 nice dinner. We had great conversation. So why do you 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:07.200 think your mom ruined it? If the date continued to 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.399 go find I don't know. I don't think my mom 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.320 ruined it. I think that the fact that I lived 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.920 with my mom probably was for her was like a 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:15.720 red flag. She probably you know, because there's like a 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.600 stigma attached to it. It's like, Okay, he must be 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:22.600 some bum who's unemployed, who you know, just never I 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.960 don't know. Does she seem like it bothered her? Not really, 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:27.799 at least not during dinner. I mean, like I said, 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.640 we had a really great conversation. When we parted ways. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:32.760 There was a kiss, I mean or anything like steen 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:34.920 he or anything, but it was a kiss. And I said, 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:37.320 I'd like to see you again, and she said, yeah, 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:39.920 that'd be great. So so you're just assuming the fact 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:41.960 that you live with your mom was a deal breaker 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.839 for her. Yeah. And I'm assuming that because I had 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.400 texted her last week and she said, oh, I'm really 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.960 busy this week, let's touch base. And then I've tried 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:52.680 to touch base and I haven't heard back from her. 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.240 Is there any way that you're like frugality spilled over 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.080 into other parts of the date where you were like 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:01.200 asking her to pay for everything. No, I mean, I 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:04.680 definitely paid for the meal. Like I'm not a cheap person, 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:08.440 but like I said, saving up for a house is expensive. Yeah, 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.080 so it's it's taking a couple steps back to make 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:13.520 a giant steps forward. You didn't have to come live 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.320 with her, did you. I'm getting so tired of my 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:19.800 mom being on my case. Can I come stay with you? 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:23.599 All right? So nothing, nothing really strange to happen that 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:25.240 you can think of. She's just not calling you back, 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.320 and you're assuming that it's the fact that you live 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:29.560 with your mom. Yeah, And then I guess a part 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.200 of me like wants to let her know that, like 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:33.880 I'm not just telling her that I'm, you know, looking 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:35.719 for to buy a place, like I'm buying a place, 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:37.960 like I'm closing on a place I should be closing for. Speak. 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.200 Oh really, so you have a timeline, yeah, like it's 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:44.600 happening soon. Okay, okay, okay, all right. You're very insistent 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.320 on telling us that I hope you Yeah, I hope 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.159 you didn't over you know, keep talking about it this 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:51.320 much on the day, Like I promise I'm buying a place. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:55.719 I promise. Yeah, because you guys want copies of the papers, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.600 let me know. I'll fax them over to you. All right, man, 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:00.479 well we'll play a song. Come back, call her and 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:03.279 get your second date update. Okay, okay, all right, hold 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:11.800 on looking jubil in the morning date. Carter is on 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:13.280 the phone with us right now. He wants to call 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:15.560 a girl named Lily. We think we know why she 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.560 isn't calling him back. Carter lives at home with his 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.400 mom for the moment. He's saving up to buy a house, 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.839 but Lily came to meet him. His mom answered the 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.200 door before he had a chance to explain that he 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:29.599 lives with his mother, So we're thinking that that's probably 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.040 the reason she's turned off. I don't know why it's 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:34.080 a deal breaker. Like Lydia, the first couple of years 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:35.680 you were on this show, you used to date a 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:37.400 lot of guys that were like this that lived at 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.280 home with her mom. Right, are you talking about me? 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:42.160 Because I lived at home with us? Yeah, I had 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.039 to move back after college. I lived there until I 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.120 turn off for you, not immediately, But I do think 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:49.400 that maybe you should have told her first, because first 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:52.640 depressions are everything, especially when you meet people online. So 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:54.800 it just might have put her off a little bit. Okay, Carter, 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.240 are you about ready to give her a call? Yeah? 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:58.760 I think so. All right, well I'm gonna give her 0:05:58.760 --> 0:05:59.800 a call right now. See we can get her on 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:12.920 the phon and then get your second date update. Okay, okay, cool? Hello, 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:17.240 Hi is Lily there. This is Lily. How are you. 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.400 This is Jewel from Brook and Jewil in the Morning. 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:24.080 Do you have a second to talk Jewbil from Brook 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:29.839 and Jewil in the Morning. We're a morning radio program. Okay, 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:36.960 you should check us out sometime, it'd be cool. Okay, listen. 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:38.600 The reason that we're calling you, I know it's kind 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:41.040 of strange, is that you recently went out on a 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.760 date with one of our listeners. His name is Carter. 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:50.760 Oh okay, Okay. Carter emailed us because he really liked 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.760 you and would love to see you again, but unfortunately 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.839 you haven't been calling him back, so he asked us 0:06:56.960 --> 0:07:03.320 to call and see if we could find out why. Um, 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.200 isn't I think that's a little personal, don't you think? Well? 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.560 I mean it might be, but he's the one that 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:15.480 wants us to call you. Okay, is there a specific 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:21.320 reason that you're not calling Carter back, Well, I don't. 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:25.120 I don't know, So you just don't know. You have 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.560 no idea why you're not calling him back just so 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:34.520 you'd like to see him again. Wow, So no, you 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:38.200 wouldn't like to see him again. Well, he's kind of 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:43.080 a mama's boy. I knew, I know it. Okay, Yeah, Lily, 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:45.720 we talked to Carter about your date, and he told 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.680 us that he lives with his mom, and he thought 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:50.560 maybe that was the reason you weren't calling him back. 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.080 Was it shocking to open the door and have his 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:57.200 mom standing there? Well? Yeah, and he's standing behind her 0:07:57.240 --> 0:08:01.600 like you know, yeah, all right. He admitted that he 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.400 probably should have told you beforehand if you were coming 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.080 over his house that he lives with his mom. Did 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:07.880 he tell you why he lives with his parents right now? 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.360 He briefly talked about that he was saving money and 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.920 stuff like that. But yeah, he's saving up to buy 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:17.920 a house. Yeah, but it wasn't just that he lived 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:20.560 with his mom. Did he talk about her a bunch 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.440 or something? I mean, when you when you say mom's boy, 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.240 that's what that makes me think. He's like, yeah, yeah, 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:29.240 I mean, okay, we're at his house and I need 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:35.040 his mother. Okay, awkward first date and we're about to 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:39.920 leave and Carter's mom goes, honey, can you drop me 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:44.480 at a friend's house? And he said, and he said, yes, 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:48.920 it's on the way. And that's are you saying? He 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:53.079 gave his mom a ride somewhere. Yes, and it was 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.520 even worse than he put me in the backseats? No, 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:59.000 you didn't even get to ride shot. Well, of course not. 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:02.360 That's his mom. Come on, so he boundaries there that 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.800 are obviously a problem. Okay, so he actually gave his 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:09.320 mom a ride somewhere. Yeah, before our dates. So he 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:14.480 gives his mom a ride and we are dropped her 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.880 off whenever and this is probably the kicker from me 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:22.080 right here. Mom leaned over and they kissed on the 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:27.800 mouth when they said good bye, and that I mean tepsis. Well, 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:34.800 oh I don't gross, no way. Yeah, so all right, 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:39.920 so he's definitely a mom's boy. Then, wow, all right. 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:41.680 He didn't mention that he gave his mom a ride. 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:43.120 He just said that you met his mom and he 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.600 thought that might have been awkward for you. No, I 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:48.360 think putting me in the backseat on their first date 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.640 and then giving his mom a kiss goodbye on the mouth. 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:55.360 I mean they's been kidding me. Come on, all right, Lily, 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.160 At this point I should tell you that Carter is 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.840 actually on the phone and has been listening this entire time. 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:05.880 Hope play not his mom too. I honestly don't understand 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:09.280 what the big deal is. I'm saving up to buy 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:13.199 a house for one To give my mom who gave 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:18.120 birth to me a ride somewhere seems like too much 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.960 to ask. But on a first date, Carter, give me 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:25.240 a break? Weird? What am I supposed to do is say, hey, mom, listen. 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:27.640 Oh no, I don't think she feels comfortable with this. 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:32.240 Can you just call a cab? That's ridiculous. No, But 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:35.280 I mean I'm sure you told your mother we were 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:38.040 around it going on a date, a first date? Yeah, 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.079 I did. But I also felt like I was going 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:41.560 on a date with somebody who might be a little 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:45.360 bit more understanding than this, because this seems like you're 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.120 coming across as really what would you What would you 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:50.040 do if your dad or your mom asked for a ride? 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:54.200 Oh no, Kate, No, I mean that's going on a 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.560 date for the first time with someone. I'm not going 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.760 to be driving my parents around my mother around you 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.719 will you would you would tell your parents who is 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:05.720 what would happen? I would just tell them, No, I'm 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.080 going on a first date. I'm busy. I can't do 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:11.440 anything for you. I'm sorry. Well, I guess I'm a 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:16.360 better son than you are. I find that ridiculous to 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:18.280 put some of these that I'm going out with once 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.880 out of my mom. That's not going to happen. Hey, Carter, 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:22.360 you don't think it's a little weird though, to give 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.080 your mom a ride somewhere on your date. Absolutely not. 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.960 But why couldn't like her friend come pick her up? Carter? 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.640 I mean, there's other solutions, right, I just don't think 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.160 it's that to give a deal to give my mom 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:36.599 a ride. She's letting me live with her. It was 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.840 also on the way to the restaurant. It's not like 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.120 I was driving thirty minutes out of the way. It 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.520 wasn't even an inconvenience. Okay, really, did you at least 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.800 like his mother? You know, I was a little weirded 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.880 out first, and I'm in the back seat. Then he 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.400 kisses his mom on the mouth goodbye. I don't know 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:57.120 that's date, Listen, that's my mom. Okay, he gave birth 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.520 to me. I'm going to tell her to no. Hey, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:03.559 please give me kiss on a cheek. Yeah, I would, Carter. 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.040 If my mom was trying to kiss me on the mouth, 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:08.400 I'd shove her off me so quick that it's disgusting. 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:13.080 Who cares, pervert? Don't kiss me on the lips. You're 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.400 you're my mom. Get off of me. Hey, Lily, I 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:18.760 would love to ask you if you'll go on a 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.960 second date with Carter. We will pay for it. Would 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:22.960 you like to go out with him again? Just him, 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:27.400 not his mom? Honestly, at this point, I'm really not interested. 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:29.320 I thought that she was somebody who she's not, so 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.520 I'm not interested at all. Thank you guys for helping me, 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.320 but I'm not. I don't want to go on Carter. 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:34.520 You want me to send you out on a date 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.720 with mommy, I'll pay for that. He'd probably be a 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:41.160 better time than Lily would say. Better kiss her, you 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:45.560 get more action in the morning.