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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the

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Speaker 1: Velvet Such podcast. This week, my guest is Davi Myisha,

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Speaker 1: which means goddess Maisha. Maisha specializes in showing men and

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Speaker 1: women how to release their trauma and shame around sex,

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Speaker 1: how to create better relationships and transform their lives into

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Speaker 1: abundance and ecstasy. She is a former certified personal trainer

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Speaker 1: and nutrition coach who combines her knowledge and study in

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Speaker 1: the areas of psychology, contra and sacred sexuality with her

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Speaker 1: training and energy work to facilitate growth and healing for

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Speaker 1: her clients. I know the topic of sensuality and sex

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Speaker 1: can be particularly uneasy for some. Some of us have

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Speaker 1: had trauma, some of us grew up in places where

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Speaker 1: many things were culturally unacceptable or religions that put confusion

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Speaker 1: and shame into our bodies. Whatever your experience has been,

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Speaker 1: I know it can be a scary topic to talk about,

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Speaker 1: but I strongly encourage you to listen to this podcast

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Speaker 1: without preconceived notions or judgments. Every one of us has

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Speaker 1: different wants and needs and sensuality and sexuality, and that's

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Speaker 1: what this is about. Tuning into your own body, your

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Speaker 1: own power, your own light and leaning into the places

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Speaker 1: that those things bring you. Misha is here to help

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Speaker 1: us all find peace in that. Here's our conversation. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what is sexual energy alchemy? Oh? Great question. So the

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Speaker 1: central energy alchemy is the understanding that in our human bodies,

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Speaker 1: we experience this world through our senses, and that we

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Speaker 1: use those senses to take in and integrate all of

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Speaker 1: our experiences, and that we are also energetic beings who

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Speaker 1: have the power to alchemize or shift and change our

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Speaker 1: energy at any given time, and we can especially shift

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Speaker 1: and change our energy using those five senses. So this

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Speaker 1: is not all about sex. Sex is just a piece

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Speaker 1: of this. Yes. Second, Well, when I first met you

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Speaker 1: in the workshop that we were talking about, I was

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Speaker 1: so excited because you were so openly speaking about sexual

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Speaker 1: energy and I think, as a woman, a lot of

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Speaker 1: times we're so um stifled in that area, and so

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to learn how to do it and

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Speaker 1: I just actually don't even know that I know, and

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Speaker 1: it's been this exploration process for me. And so the

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Speaker 1: way that you speak so fluently about it and so

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Speaker 1: said with such ease was so refreshing to me. So

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Speaker 1: I was like I gotta do more work with this lady, Like,

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Speaker 1: what is this sexual energy or sensual energy alchemy? How

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Speaker 1: do I get that? That's what I want? So let's

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Speaker 1: talk about that a little bit. Because you say on

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Speaker 1: your Instagram you're you're creating a space to live orgasmically, like, which, like,

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Speaker 1: of course, why wouldn't all of us want to live

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Speaker 1: that way? What do you mean by that? So the

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Speaker 1: orgasm is and the reason why this all ties into sex,

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Speaker 1: because sex is the energy of creation. It's and we've

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Speaker 1: diminished it to to intercourse and intercourse with right, but

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Speaker 1: it's sex is also the energy of creation. It's it's

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Speaker 1: how everything comes into this realm. And so the idea

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Speaker 1: of creating an orgasmic life is the life that that

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Speaker 1: feels good. Again, it ties back into using your senses.

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Speaker 1: People think orgasms are just for the bedroom. And when

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Speaker 1: I say live orgasmically, I don't mean life. You're just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all day long? What I mean? Those you have that energy,

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Speaker 1: the energy of orgasm, how relaxed it is, how we

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Speaker 1: let it slow, how we don't hinder it, how we

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Speaker 1: we allow it to just overtake us, and the joy

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Speaker 1: and bliss that comes along with that. That's living orgasmically.

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Speaker 1: I was just going to ask you to describe what

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Speaker 1: that means. So it's it's the calm, It's the ease

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Speaker 1: with which you would approach life. Is that what you mean?

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Speaker 1: It is? It is and the and the and the arousal, right,

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Speaker 1: of which we can approach life like this. This life

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Speaker 1: should arouse us. It should make us steel, juicy, be

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Speaker 1: excited at the opportunities that we have that we are

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Speaker 1: creating on a daily basis. And it can be difficult

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Speaker 1: even even when we're facing challenges. You know, the question

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Speaker 1: to ask is what is this growing within me? What

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Speaker 1: is what is this creating for me? What doors is

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Speaker 1: opening for me? Instead of I can't believe this is

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Speaker 1: happening to me. Yeah, I actually love that, it said

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Speaker 1: when I when you were talking just then, I just

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Speaker 1: had the word intrigue pop into my brain, which that's

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Speaker 1: such a word tied to sex a lot of times.

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Speaker 1: But I love that if you tie this to this

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Speaker 1: living orgasmically, to approach life with more um curiosity and intrigue, Yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: and just and just this this wonderment. Yeah, So how

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Speaker 1: do we find this orgasmic p our within each of us. Mmm, now,

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Speaker 1: that's a really good question. So the way I approach it,

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Speaker 1: and it's usually with with women. It's men's a little different.

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Speaker 1: So I work mostly with women, and the way I

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Speaker 1: the way I approach it with women is by showing

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Speaker 1: them how they can really dip into their bodies and

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Speaker 1: showing them how creating that orgasmic pleasure literally for themselves

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Speaker 1: often because right there is a problem for for a

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Speaker 1: lot of women just allowing themselves to let go and

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Speaker 1: experience that pleasure and and opening their mouths and and

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Speaker 1: being able to make the sounds that go along with that,

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Speaker 1: to be able to then take that and transform that

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Speaker 1: type of energy into how they moved through the world

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Speaker 1: on a daily basis. So it can look like more

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Speaker 1: self pleasure and massive nation. It looks like wearing clothing

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Speaker 1: that just makes you feel really good, the fabrics, the colors.

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Speaker 1: What do you want to smell like today? You know? What?

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Speaker 1: What is it that your body is calling for? What

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Speaker 1: does it mean? More of? What does it mean less of?

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Speaker 1: It's about tuning into this deeper awareness of you. And

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Speaker 1: and that's how I approach learning how to live life

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Speaker 1: that way is by the little small things that we

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Speaker 1: can do, you know, on a daily basis that makes

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Speaker 1: us just feel excited about life. What are some examples

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Speaker 1: of things that you would tell women to do in

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Speaker 1: search of those kind of in that kind of power. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so one. Now I'm laughing because I think about some

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Speaker 1: of the things that I've I've asked clients to do.

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Speaker 1: Um for some of them, it's really as simple as journalist, right,

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Speaker 1: like that, I just want you to get that on paper.

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Speaker 1: Some women I've had dance to naked. Yes. Actually that

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Speaker 1: was one of the things you suggested in the workshop.

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Speaker 1: And I did that and it was so fun. It

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Speaker 1: was so fun, it was so interesting. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't know why it would be any different than dancing

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Speaker 1: and clothes, but it felt different in my body. I

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Speaker 1: felt so free, right, there is this freedom and it's

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Speaker 1: like this joined exhilaration. Yes, oh absolutely. Um. One woman

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Speaker 1: actually recently I just grew her an assignment of of

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Speaker 1: recording herself either looking at her volba or or while

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Speaker 1: she was mestating oh wow. So I I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of women listening are like do what I take

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Speaker 1: a mirror to like look and she kept calling it

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Speaker 1: down there and I was down there but yeah, a

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Speaker 1: lot of women don't look don't look at that, that

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Speaker 1: the beautiful lips and how they open up like a flower.

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Speaker 1: I always feel like we should know what what our

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Speaker 1: what our lovers are looking at, like how your lips swell?

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Speaker 1: That we can get still turned down by our own selves.

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Speaker 1: And the thing is is that when we realize how

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Speaker 1: much we can turn on our own selves, we stopped

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Speaker 1: looking for other people to do it for us, which

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Speaker 1: means we stopped getting into crappy relationship looking for someone

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Speaker 1: else to turn us on. That's the thing. So if

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Speaker 1: I can, if I can get aroused by me, like

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at my lips well and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, look at what I did for me, like

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Speaker 1: someone else coming along to do it. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not impressed with you. I can do that myself.

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Speaker 1: But what I really want to know is what is

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Speaker 1: your character, like, like you know, how can I can

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Speaker 1: with your spirit? So, yeah, you mentioned that it's different

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Speaker 1: between men and women, and I want to talk more

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Speaker 1: about a woman's mentality and finding her own power and

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Speaker 1: all of those things. But why what is the difference

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Speaker 1: between men and women? Like what do you see the

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Speaker 1: most between your clients. Yeah, so men are much more linear,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I mean, I know people are trying

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Speaker 1: to say that men and women are kind of the shame,

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Speaker 1: but we're really not. And the research has been done

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Speaker 1: on the brains of boys and girls before they've been

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Speaker 1: a sec about society, you know, to show us that

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Speaker 1: there's there's differentult different chemical compounds in just different ways

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Speaker 1: that we va to the world. And it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be different. And so men are much more linear than

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Speaker 1: women are. You know, they're much more alike. That's why

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Speaker 1: it's like I always tell people the easiest example is

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Speaker 1: to think of father time and mother nature because the

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Speaker 1: reason someone decided that that's what that was, it's not

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Speaker 1: mother's time, right. Mother nature is fluid, she flows. You

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Speaker 1: don't know if a season is coming or going. We

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Speaker 1: don't really know when it actually starts. You know, fall

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Speaker 1: can begin in November and the summer can begin in March,

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Speaker 1: and we've seen that actually happened, you know. Um, where

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Speaker 1: as time, like, men are more linear. They need to

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Speaker 1: they have a stop and start, and they see the

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Speaker 1: world very very differently. It is very logical the way

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Speaker 1: they see it. It's like shapes and blocks that must

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Speaker 1: fit into certain places. And it's not always that they're

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Speaker 1: less emotional than we are, but it's that they and

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Speaker 1: it's not even if they're shown how to be emotional,

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Speaker 1: they just show their emotions in different ways than we do.

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Speaker 1: So the way I approach male clients is not the

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Speaker 1: same way that I. Like, I'm not going to tell

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Speaker 1: a man to go dance naked in a mirror to

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Speaker 1: reclaim his sensuality because he probably doesn't need to do that.

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Speaker 1: In fact, what he actually needs to do is to

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Speaker 1: connect his penis with his heart and get more in

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Speaker 1: touch with with with those pieces of him. Like, so

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Speaker 1: there's things are going to be a little bit different,

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Speaker 1: but there was a difference, and that's okay. Do you

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Speaker 1: see more men um having the ability to own their power?

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking through in my life and even in

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Speaker 1: my dating life, the men that I have dated, they

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Speaker 1: always just know what they want, you know, And like

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Speaker 1: I have found it hard as a woman, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know if this is my personality, if this is

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Speaker 1: because I'm a female or what it is, but to

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Speaker 1: find my voice and within relationships specifically, and so like

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Speaker 1: these kind of exercises even getting to know my own

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Speaker 1: body and my own desires and my own wants and needs.

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Speaker 1: UM has helped me to find my power a little

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Speaker 1: bit more. But do you think that men naturally do

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Speaker 1: that a little easier. I don't know that men feel

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Speaker 1: that they're powerful, but they've been taught to project that

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Speaker 1: they are. Oh yeah, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there are there are some men who indeed do not

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Speaker 1: feel like they're in power and control at all, and

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Speaker 1: their harborings, you know, some of the deepest hurts and

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Speaker 1: wounds ever because they don't feel safe enough to discuss

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Speaker 1: that with anyone, and so they actually become very rigid

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Speaker 1: in a sense to try and contain themselves. And that

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Speaker 1: can look like power, but it's really a denial of

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Speaker 1: the self. And with those men, they still have to

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Speaker 1: unravel as well and dig into those hurts and those

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Speaker 1: teams and those fears that they have. What does that

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Speaker 1: look like to connect the penis with the heart? I

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Speaker 1: like that you said that. Yeah, So when I worked

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Speaker 1: with male clients, it was physical UM, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's interesting that it's said it's different. So

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Speaker 1: men response to physical touch in a different way, and

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Speaker 1: it helps to open them up and helps and helps

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Speaker 1: them to um to feel safe for us, just you know,

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Speaker 1: just like talking, you know, talking to a man or

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Speaker 1: doing talk therapy with him. And I'm not a therapist,

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Speaker 1: but doing that didn't always seem to connect um. And

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Speaker 1: so I'm trained in ray key. It's an energy healing

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Speaker 1: modality and also in contra energy other energetic healing modalities.

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Speaker 1: And I would literally just do like massage on their body,

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Speaker 1: conscious massage. I would whisper things in their ear just

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Speaker 1: to kind of reset their brains um words of affirmation

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Speaker 1: which men thrive off off, just to help them be set.

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Speaker 1: And then I would often do a lingam massage or

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Speaker 1: lingam is the Sanskrit words for for penis um. Some

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Speaker 1: clients really felt like they were supposed to have the

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Speaker 1: happy ending that was not what that's about. Well what

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Speaker 1: is it about, because that's what I actually just thought. Yeah, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: It's really about learning how to harness that the same

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Speaker 1: way women harness their power for tex magic. It's really

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Speaker 1: about learning how to harness that power. That arousal state

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Speaker 1: is drought back up in the body to energize the body,

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Speaker 1: to energize his vitality, to energize his life forth, and

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Speaker 1: so the men would actually leave feeling more refreshed, whereas

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Speaker 1: if I left them just ejectively every where, they would

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Speaker 1: have been depleted. And so they thought there was a

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Speaker 1: way to to energize the life work back into their

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Speaker 1: into the body. It's also a way to help men

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Speaker 1: learn how to last longer in bed as well. So

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Speaker 1: that's a great side. So if a man is connecting

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Speaker 1: his penis to his heart, what is the work of

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Speaker 1: a woman that you see? In most cases? Is it

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Speaker 1: finding her power? It is? It is for most women.

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Speaker 1: Of what I've seen is that it is finding a

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Speaker 1: way to open the throat and as directly conductional to

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Speaker 1: the vaginal canal. And so it's it's been finding a

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Speaker 1: way to take that creativity best harnessed in our womb

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Speaker 1: area and allow it to come up out of us

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Speaker 1: in the words that we say and our desires and

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Speaker 1: speaking what we want and being clear and being responsible

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Speaker 1: for for for our desires and for what we want.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean being responsible? Mm? So A perfect

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Speaker 1: example is a skit that I that I saw on

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Speaker 1: YouTube but a friend sent to me as a woman

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Speaker 1: came over and she's sitting on the couch, you know,

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Speaker 1: and they're watching TV or whatever, and she like screeches

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Speaker 1: closely to the guy, you know, and and and and

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Speaker 1: she screeches closer, you know, to drop all the hints,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then he starts like kissing her or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And then she's like no, and she and she stops him,

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Speaker 1: and then they you know, they get into this like

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a honey comedic skip, but they get

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Speaker 1: into this argument or whatever. And if she leaves and

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Speaker 1: he's like, no, so she wanted to, you know, get

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Speaker 1: it in. She's like I did the man on the sofa?

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Speaker 1: Yea what She's like, She's like, I wanted you to

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Speaker 1: take me to the bedroom. He's like what and and

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Speaker 1: and I'm watching it, like see, this is what happens

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Speaker 1: when women don't say, Hi, I want to come over

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Speaker 1: to your house and I want to have sex and

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Speaker 1: I'd love to have sex in your beds. No, So,

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Speaker 1: because we don't want to look slutty or we want sex,

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Speaker 1: we'll we'll we'll approach a man like in this half

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Speaker 1: asked fashion, you know, and hope that he dropped him no,

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Speaker 1: own on it, be responsible for it. And then go

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Speaker 1: get the thing that you were. Well, so how do

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Speaker 1: you because I have a lot of questions written down

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Speaker 1: for you about just the shame that women feel around sexuality.

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Speaker 1: I know it's something I've dealt with my and a

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Speaker 1: part of my adult life that I'm feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: freeing myself from now finally at a thirty eight Um.

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Speaker 1: But there are so many roles that were kind of

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Speaker 1: put into just by the way that our society teaches us.

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Speaker 1: And I know that I've felt a lot of shame.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of my friends have discussed this too.

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Speaker 1: And then I started to think about, like in my past.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like, how was I, um, what was

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Speaker 1: the dynamic between myself and my partner And a lot

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Speaker 1: of times like I was getting satisfied from them getting satisfied,

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Speaker 1: but I myself and in my body was probably not

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Speaker 1: feeling the same satisfaction that they were, if that makes sense. Um,

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Speaker 1: So are you seeing like is there a shift in

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Speaker 1: maybe societal roles and and what you just said about

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Speaker 1: the way that a woman doesn't want to feel slutty?

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Speaker 1: Like are we kind of getting rid of that mentality?

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Speaker 1: Are we starting to or what are you seeing in

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Speaker 1: that area, I hope. So, yeah, so it looks like

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Speaker 1: we are, um, but there's always a balance, there's a balance,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um. Freedom is a beautiful thing, but what

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Speaker 1: freedom does come great responsibility. And and so I I

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Speaker 1: do believe that women should not feel any shame whatsoever

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Speaker 1: about their sexual desires. The flip side of that is

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Speaker 1: that there are some young women who are taking their

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Speaker 1: bodies places that they don't always need to go, under

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Speaker 1: the guise of saying, you know, I'm free to do

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Speaker 1: whatever I want, but really they're still trying to cover

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Speaker 1: up in securities with Yeah, that was such a good

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Speaker 1: way that. Yeah, And so there's a there's a balance

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Speaker 1: there and and understanding. No woman should feel ashamed for

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Speaker 1: her sexual desires. And this is all stems from you know,

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Speaker 1: old puritanical views about what women are supposed to be like,

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Speaker 1: which really stems from the fear of women and and

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Speaker 1: how how men react to women and how powerful women

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Speaker 1: can be. And there are some of us who will

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Speaker 1: take that that sensual nature that we have and and

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Speaker 1: we'll use it to turn a man into you know,

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Speaker 1: something that he you know, not it will not be hisself,

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Speaker 1: you know. Or some people like to say, moleculate him

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Speaker 1: and keep doing things. And so there's a spear of

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Speaker 1: of women because we are very powerful um. And that's

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Speaker 1: and that's what's been in embedded in so many of

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Speaker 1: us from such a young age and forced us to

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Speaker 1: kind of life, not explore, not do things for you

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Speaker 1: of being seen a certain way. Right, Well, so would

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Speaker 1: the goal, as someone asked me the other day, like

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Speaker 1: what do you define as a woman owning her sexuality?

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Speaker 1: And I didn't exactly have an answer, which made me

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Speaker 1: feel strange. So I've really been thinking about it. But

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Speaker 1: would you say the goal would be to own your

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Speaker 1: sexual desires without seeking um validation from someone else? Like

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Speaker 1: is that what we're where? We're mixing it up a

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Speaker 1: little bit, like still seeking that external validation, so maybe

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Speaker 1: we're putting ourselves in positions to get that from someone

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Speaker 1: else versus actually just listening to our own bodies. I

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Speaker 1: would say that's a pretty perfect way to say it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, oh yeah, I mean only your sexuality to

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Speaker 1: be as simple as I don't really don't want to

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Speaker 1: ask us that often, and that's how I am, And

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Speaker 1: I'm okay with that your sexuality could be you know,

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Speaker 1: I want to you know, have sex with every sign

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Speaker 1: of the zodiac, because I just want to speak with

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Speaker 1: the difference between all two album because I'd like to

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Speaker 1: know you only only your sexuality could be I'm waiting

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Speaker 1: until I get married because it's just that important to

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Speaker 1: me to just be with one person. There's so many

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Speaker 1: different ways to do it, as long as we're doing

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Speaker 1: it from a place of of of purity within ourselves

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Speaker 1: and not simply because this is the expectation, because that's

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Speaker 1: when other things like shame and guilt come in if

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Speaker 1: we don't meet those expectations, and then shame and guilt

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Speaker 1: are the killers of any sexual desire. Okay, that's good

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Speaker 1: to know. I have another question. So I had a

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Speaker 1: conversation about Um. I was with two men and we

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Speaker 1: were having the conversation and one of them said, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, though he's a guy in his testosterone and

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And I've always hated that as as

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Speaker 1: an excuse. I'm always I've always felt somewhere internally like

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Speaker 1: that's bullshit when men say that. But I'm just now

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Speaker 1: finally saying that out loud a little bit. Um. But

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Speaker 1: when we were doing the workshop, you said that female

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Speaker 1: sex drives are actually often equivalent, if not more than male.

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Speaker 1: Is that true because I said that to them? Yes, Okay,

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Speaker 1: tell me more about that. Yes, several studies have been done. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think around like psychology today or something like that,

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Speaker 1: if you if you lew it, But several studies have

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Speaker 1: been done to st Yes. In general, when drives are higher,

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Speaker 1: we want sex. We wanted a lot. We often deny

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Speaker 1: ourselves sex because we think we're not supposed to want it,

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Speaker 1: or we've been told that men wanted more than we do.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I've seen it in my own life. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like money. He's like I just need a minute, Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: like I'm tired, have a headache. They're teenagers. When boys

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Speaker 1: the teenagers and teastone comes racing into their body just

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Speaker 1: as they get puberty, it hits them like a rush,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so yeah, from like thirteen to twenty two, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they just want to get all that out there. The

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Speaker 1: reality is, it's most most of them aren't having any

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Speaker 1: sex until somewhere between eighteen or nineteen to twenty two,

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Speaker 1: and so they're missing out in a lot of those

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Speaker 1: good years. But somebody still fed them. The line that

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Speaker 1: you know they're test Afteronte is the reason why they

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Speaker 1: want to go run out and have sex. Meanwhile, with women,

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Speaker 1: it's just like from the time of the Menphis studies,

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Speaker 1: a gradual building of things. You know, it's not it's

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Speaker 1: not like all coming at one time, but it's you know,

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Speaker 1: as the mature and get older. Oh, the desire is there.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely there, and it's left our our own devices.

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Speaker 1: It would be acted upon, um but to silent no

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Speaker 1: one's tell us that we should do nothing and the

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00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 1: boys should do everything, which causes a little flip flop. Well,

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Speaker 1: it makes me really angry, to be honest, because I

392
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Speaker 1: just think it's bullshit. I mean, it's like I think

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Speaker 1: it's an excuse for bad behavior, that's like bad human behavior.

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Speaker 1: And I don't I don't like, I don't agree with

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Speaker 1: because I know, as a thirty eight year old, I

396
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Speaker 1: have never wanted more sex in my life than I

397
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Speaker 1: do at this point. Like that's just my truth. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: it continues, it continues, Yes it does. It doesn't adminish.

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Speaker 1: She keeps going exactly, and I but I don't feel

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Speaker 1: that that gives me the right to go. Well, you

401
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: know what, I just want sex all the time. So

402
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Speaker 1: I'm going to go either cheat on my boyfriend or

403
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: I'm going to check out that guy over and over

404
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: and over inappropriately, you know what I mean. Like, I

405
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: still think as a human being, especially if you're in

406
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: a relationship, there's boundaries around it. And I guess everyone's

407
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: you know, able to define that for themselves. But that

408
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Speaker 1: old mentality, Man, I'm just done with it, Like, I

409
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: just can't handle it. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure

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Speaker 1: on men as well. I think so too, thinking that

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Speaker 1: they always have to want to have and what if

412
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Speaker 1: they don't want to? Yeah, And I've known women who

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Speaker 1: who have shamed men, right, shamed them for not wanting

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Speaker 1: to have sex. I mean it's crazy because they're a

415
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Speaker 1: woman out here saying, you know, hey, don't approach me

416
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Speaker 1: that way. And then they're a woman who are on

417
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Speaker 1: there saying I can't believe you can want you don't

418
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Speaker 1: want to have sex with me? Good? Wrong with you? Right?

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00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: It's like what do you want? Right? That's very confusing. Yes, this, this,

420
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 1: all of these ideas damage all of us. Yeah, so

421
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Speaker 1: what would you say to and if you were in

422
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Speaker 1: that situation that I was in where someone said that.

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Speaker 1: I mean with that, I actually quoted you. I was like, actually,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just learned that women's sex drives are

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Speaker 1: justice hizman, If not more, I just need to maybe

426
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: I need to go google it so I have some

427
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: references next time. And they're probably like no, but they

428
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 1: didn't believe me. Both of them said, now, yeah, yeah

429
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: I would. I wouldn't. I would have said the same

430
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: thing and I probably would have shrugged my shoulders at

431
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 1: this point because I I because they've had enough to

432
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: think about it'll have to rethink their whole entire life, right,

433
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: because if women's sex drives are higher, then what does

434
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: that actually mean for them? That's like they really have

435
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: to read, they have to really read think sexual encounters

436
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: and it's really not that, you know, if they think

437
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: back and they're like, no, all these women didn't want

438
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: to have sex, Like, well, first of all, if we're thinking,

439
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: I think you've got bigger problems than a sex drive.

440
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: If you think you have to course all those women

441
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: having that's number one. Yeah. And the other part about

442
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: that is it's like were they able to keep up?

443
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: She wanted more enough? And another thing is that is

444
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: that men often feel so responsible for trying to, you know,

445
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 1: make women come and give women organs. It's just it's

446
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: a lot on the shoulders. I guarantee they wouldn't searched it,

447
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: googled it, looked it up. They had to figure it out,

448
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: I hope. So not rest with that, not no, no, no, no, Okay,

449
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: let's talk about self pleasure because you mentioned it earlier

450
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 1: as something that women You really really recommend this, and

451
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 1: I actually when we did the workshop, I asked you

452
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: a lot of questions about this because I was I'm

453
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: super confused. You know, I've had some trauma around this,

454
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: and I talked about it on this podcast a lot,

455
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: so the listeners are aware. But that topic is so

456
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: difficult for me. And it's gotten easier and I've been

457
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: working through it, but over the years, it was just

458
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: I blocked it out of my brain, like it was

459
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 1: just something I didn't think about. And now that I'm

460
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: older and like I said, craving sex more, it's because it's,

461
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying to find a healthy relationship there. Um.

462
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: The other point that I'm bumping up against is we

463
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: have a series on this podcast called at Casual that

464
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 1: we do on Fridays, and we talk about sex and dating,

465
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 1: and the number one topic that we get questions about

466
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: from people either single or it's mostly in relationships is

467
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: about masturbation and like, what's a healthy amount? How do

468
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: I do this, you know, in an appropriate way with

469
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: my partner or just like in general women exploring that Now,

470
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: So I want to know what you tell your clients are,

471
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: what your suggestions are, how you find a healthy relationship

472
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: with self pleasure. Yeah, that's a really interesting question because

473
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 1: I don't. And that's that I don't know what an

474
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: unhealthy relationship. I'm sure that you know. They they do exist,

475
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 1: but because people are usually still repressed, Um, they haven't.

476
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: They haven't. Most people haven't even gotten to the point

477
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: of like and usually the question is how much is

478
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: too much? Yes, that really is really what people are wondering.

479
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: And I I mean I think every day it's perfectly fine. Yeah,

480
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: like that there's no issue with masturbating daily. I mean

481
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 1: I don't. I often wonder the question becomes what is

482
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: the what is the thinking of another person if they

483
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: find out that someone masturbates daily? Like if I said

484
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: I had sex with my partner daily, people probably wouldn't

485
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: question it. They'd be like, oh my gosh, that's amazing. Right,

486
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: So pleasuring myself daily, what is the issue that because

487
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: of doing it by myself? Is it kind of like

488
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: drinking alone? You know? Yeah? I mean I know for me, Yeah,

489
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: I know for me it would be does it like

490
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: with I don't. I guess I don't see an issue

491
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 1: if you're single. And so that's another interesting This is

492
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: just me speaking completely freely about what what just popped

493
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: up in my brain. But and I wouldn't feel weird

494
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: about it with the single thing. I think it's within

495
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: our relationship. I wonder or I bump up against Does

496
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: it affect your sex life with your partner? Is there

497
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: some sort of like in my past there was like

498
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: a secrecy thing about it that didn't feel very good

499
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: within their relationships. So what are the parameters? And like,

500
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: I guess each couple defines that for themselves. I don't know.

501
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: Why do you what What is it that you think

502
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: is so important about self pleasure that you would recommend it,

503
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: especially to women? Right? So let me But I want

504
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: to touch on a couple of things. When when people

505
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: are masturbating in shame, it's because they've been taught to

506
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: be ashamed of that. Yes, and so they've come to

507
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: see this this dirty, secretive thing that they cannot share.

508
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: And and and so they you know, they do it

509
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: in secret or because they were taught to be ashamed

510
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: of it. When they did masturbate in secret, it became

511
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 1: such a thrill for them. Then their brain became wired

512
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: in a way to receive the thrill from the secrecy

513
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: of it, like they're getting away with something naughty, right,

514
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: and so and so they continue to seek that thrill

515
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: even if they have a partner, because it's it's just

516
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: it's become part of their makeup. And so the way

517
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: to help unravel that, it's just it's to begin working

518
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: through the shame piece of it. Unfortunately, people who do that,

519
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: you know, kind of, uh what, perpetuate the story because

520
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: you and you know, you want the partner who's like,

521
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: why are you doing that in secret? Right? Which is right?

522
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: Which you know is natural of course, So they're kind

523
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 1: of perpetuating their own trauma and drama in their mind

524
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: by stating it up that way. Um, some people with

525
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: partners masturbate because they are not satisfied sexually. I cannot

526
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: tell you how many times a woman has made jokes

527
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: about well, I had sex with him and I took

528
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: my toy and I finished myself off. So you know,

529
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: women do it, uh, you know, And and I'm gonna

530
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: assume that some men do it too, because the expectations

531
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: that that are always satisfied when they have sex um

532
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: and maybe some men are not. And so then you know,

533
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 1: I've known none who have said they faked or death,

534
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: which I at first it is like, I know, it's

535
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: so funny. I learned that recently too, and I was

536
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: I was shock, like what how? So so, you know,

537
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: I definitely recommend self pleasure as a way just to

538
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: stay in touch with one's own body and what brings

539
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: you pleasure, you know, man or a woman, because if

540
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: you're a man and you're masturbating, you know, then when

541
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: i'm you know, performing oral sex on you, you can

542
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: better help me understand what brings you pleasure. If my

543
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: hand is running up and down you, you can better

544
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: help me understand wring your pleasure. Same for a woman.

545
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't tell my lover what help what

546
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: I like if I don't even you know what I like.

547
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: Now we're I guess we're both kind of figuring it out. Um,

548
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: So that's the way that masturbation can work with in

549
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: a relationship. Also can be just really fucking kinky to

550
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: just watch each other do it, like you play this

551
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,479
Speaker 1: game of don't touch. Yeah, I'll actually watch each other

552
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: from across the road together too. Yeah. Yeah, that's a

553
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: fun way to do it. Or you know, you know,

554
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: you could be in your mouth while you're mastivating. Men

555
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: think it's hot when a woman masturbates in front of them,

556
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: So are they at least of my expects. I'm curious

557
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 1: about that because, um, there's another friend of my he

558
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: was talking about that and she said at first her

559
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: husband was super threatened by that idea because in her

560
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: in his head, it was something about a toy being

561
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: a threat to like his manhood, you know. But they

562
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: got over the barrier and now it's like his favorite thing.

563
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: So it's so interesting. Yeah, because men really like to see.

564
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: Men aren't really hardwired to want to see and and

565
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: and assist woman with pleasure. Yeah, Like they really they

566
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: really want to and so and and it's also something

567
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 1: so powerful to them about seeing a woman who's so

568
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: comfortable and in her sexuality that she can do that.

569
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: It arouses the funk out of them. So to watch her,

570
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 1: whether it's with a hand or a toy, and now

571
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 1: she's all wet and ready. Yeah oh yeah absolutely, um, absolutely.

572
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: Well let's talk a little bit about Tantra because it's

573
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: reading on your website and I initially I love it

574
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: so much because you're just so you say everything just clearly,

575
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 1: and you're like when when you talked in the workshop,

576
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: you were like, yes, I like Tontra. Sometimes I talk

577
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: about B D S M like key, uh, all these

578
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 1: things that I know that. I can just picture so

579
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: many people reading, specifically women and being like, oh my god,

580
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. So

581
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: I want to know. I don't fully understand what tontra is,

582
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: so can you help us understand what that is? Sure?

583
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: And that's for another one on top and I'm polyamorous. Yes, yes,

584
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: that was the other thing I read that I was like, Okay,

585
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to know more about that. All the

586
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: things exactly is Uh, it's not a religion, it's more

587
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 1: of a philosophy. It's the way of life. Okay. Um,

588
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: I think of it, and it's it doesn't center around sex.

589
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 1: But somehow Western culture has taken it and made it

590
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: about sex. It was an easy cell that way to

591
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: bring it back over here. But talk show it's like Buddhism.

592
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: In fact, there's contract. There's there's contract Buddhism, Um, there's

593
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry Buddhist contra and I'm actually studying to get

594
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm studying to bet Buddhist contrast um and and so

595
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: it's really a way of connecting oneself with with your surroundings,

596
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: with your partners, with your own joy and your own bliss.

597
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 1: And in doing so, your sex life gets better because

598
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 1: you've opened up portals and channels within you, and you've

599
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: opened up your energy to be able to receive it.

600
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 1: So it's not just about sect. It's about your health.

601
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 1: It's about um, your ability to to create the life

602
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: you want, it's about your connection to other human beings.

603
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: And and because all of those things are are being done,

604
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 1: I touched this high energetic level. Obviously your orgasms are

605
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: going to be amazing as well. But the focus of

606
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,240
Speaker 1: contract isn't so much bad as sex. Um. It's about

607
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: using sex as a way to heal, using sex as

608
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: a way to connect, using sex as a way to rejuvenate,

609
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: oneself and there are techniques to do that. Yeah, okay,

610
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: Because when I first read it, I also saw that

611
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: you you have a group called the Black Contrare Group

612
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: and you guys do workshops. I was like, what the

613
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: fund did these people do with these workshops? Like are

614
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: you all having sex? You know? I literally was thinking, like,

615
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: what are the activities that you do? But then I

616
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: read more and I understood that it was not like

617
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: you just go have sex in a room with a

618
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: bunch of people or something. That's that's what a lot

619
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: of people thought that Yes, and I heard it and

620
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to run toward and I've meat the commissature

621
00:36:56,120 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: and I just thought, yeah, we're we really teach people

622
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: about um breathing techniques. We teach people how to release

623
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: pain because pain and fear are big deterrent to a

624
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: really great sex life. That goes back to that idea

625
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: of shape and guilt, right, and so we teach people

626
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: how to release those those parts of themselves and to

627
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: be their full authentic self. And that's that's what you know.

628
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 1: Some people those those from destructancy. But UM the basic

629
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: definition because there really is no literal translation, but the

630
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: basic definition of pancha um as has been taught to me,

631
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: is the weaving of light and sound. It's the bringing

632
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: together of the physical and the spiritual. It's it's it's

633
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: melding at all, so that we don't think that we're

634
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: just these it's their spiritual beings who are all like

635
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: love and light. But we also understand that we are

636
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: human body that want to fuck and drink and and

637
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: eat decadent chocolate cake, just and experience waves crashing over

638
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: our bodies and the breeze of the wind. That we

639
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: are all of that, and that is all holy and

640
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: it's all good. M When you said to weave light

641
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: and sound, I got chills. That to me. I mean,

642
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: it's I think it's interesting because when you were talking

643
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: about some of the practices like meditation, popped into my

644
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: mind too as a way that I didn't tap in

645
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: in different ways. So is it a similar I mean,

646
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 1: obviously I know that the activities and the exercises would

647
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 1: be a bit different than that, But is it a

648
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: similar feeling of being in tune that you might get

649
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: from certain meditations. Oh? Absolutely, Intant is full of lots

650
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: of meditation, lots of different kinds of meditation. Is involved

651
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: in contras. So yes, yes, you can learn how to

652
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: achieve altered spaces. You can have orgasms from meditation. Um

653
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: what ye what ye tell me more? Oh yeah, but

654
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 1: I was. I wasn't just the first time I had

655
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: I had a touch list. I had an orgasm just

656
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: thinking about it. I was eighteen and I was you know,

657
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,720
Speaker 1: I had his boyfriend and he was my first sexual partner.

658
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: So my body was all just like, oh my god,

659
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 1: and we've just been having sex a few months that

660
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: I was like hook. And I remember sitting sitting in

661
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: a study hall somewhere in n y U and you know,

662
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: I'm at the table just thinking about the sex and

663
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: im and I was just I'm I'm thinking about how

664
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: it felt, and I'm running back through my mind experiences

665
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 1: that I've had with this guy. And the next thing

666
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: I know, my clitter was just like has gone off?

667
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: What It's like? Yes, it is just like it has

668
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: it is. I was like, oh my god, like I'm

669
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: shooting me just trying to like I've got my head down.

670
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you going right now? It is

671
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: actually happening. Yeah, And that and that was powerful. I

672
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: did that with my mind like your mind and your

673
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: body were so in tune that that could happen. I guess.

674
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: So believe me when I say it sounds cool, but

675
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 1: it freaked the funk out of here. I mean you're

676
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: just sitting there and you're like, what, I all myself

677
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: it's the orgasm. And now years later, you know, I'm like,

678
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: oh wow, part of me is like okay, like some

679
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: of us kind of no end up knowing this is

680
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: maybe what I was born to to kind of teach.

681
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: And then I looked back and I thought, ah, I've

682
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: been doing this for a while, right right, Yeah, so

683
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: you can really you can really meditate and and and

684
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: achieve the state of such relaxed bliss that yes, you

685
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: can feel the orgasmic waves just just coming just coming

686
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: through you. And it doesn't always necessarily feel like the

687
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: cltural orgasm, but it does feel like an orgasm. I mean,

688
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna work on my meditations now. Another thing that

689
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: you said in the workshop is, and this is I've

690
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 1: never thought about this, but the clip is the only

691
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: body part between men and women that is designed purely

692
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 1: for pleasure. Like every other body part that we have

693
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,919
Speaker 1: that men have, it's it produces pleasure, but it also

694
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 1: does something else. I find that fascinating, Like I'm thinking,

695
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,919
Speaker 1: why did the universe I mean, is this some sort

696
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: of maybe positive things since we go through childbirths, since

697
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: we do all these like painful things, maybe the universe

698
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: was like, well, they need to have a clip too.

699
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: Why it's like crazy that our bodies have that. I

700
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: just think it's because women are wonderful, lucky creatures. We

701
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 1: we are we are the portal. We are the portal

702
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: for everything, and and so much has been flipped upside

703
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: down due to fear. And it wasn't just men who

704
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: did it. Women did it too, you know, like men

705
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: and women have put this society. We watched the hand

706
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: based Tail like that's like my that that show. That

707
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: that show shows you what happens when women because it

708
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: was a woman who created that society, right, it was

709
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: Selina who wrote the paper that was the foundation for

710
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 1: what they did. And I found that so fascinating and

711
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: so interesting, and so even in history it has been

712
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: women working with the men who have created a side

713
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: of society that has put women in a position that

714
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 1: has said you cannot enjoy such thing, you cannot have pleasure,

715
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: you know, but I truly believe that women are this.

716
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: We are this powerful vehicle. We are the opening. We

717
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: are we are the vastness of the universe. We are

718
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: the dark, we are the wound. We are through which

719
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: everything comes into existence. And that that mail his purpose.

720
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: His part of it is to make sure that we

721
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: are good and safe so we can create and make

722
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: that happen, and to make sure that we have the

723
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: life force energy that we need in order for that

724
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: creation to find its way into the physical realm. And

725
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: so in doing so, that needs to be a pleasurable activity, right,

726
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 1: and hence the cultus. Yeah, so you would want to

727
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: do We got it? Yeah, look at us. Yes, we

728
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 1: we absolutely have it. I'm excited. Um. I love the

729
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: way you talk about sex and just in general, the

730
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,800
Speaker 1: way that you live in relationships without shame, because I

731
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 1: just think that so many of us are just clinching

732
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: onto I have to do it this way because it

733
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: was done this way for so many years, or I

734
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: have to do it this way because I live in

735
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: the South and that's just how we do it. That's

736
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: kind of like for me. You know, I'm thirty eight

737
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: of new or been married, and um, I just have

738
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: really like that that programming has really participated in my

739
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 1: shame around what dating and sex should look like in

740
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 1: my life, and it's just not going to look the

741
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 1: same as everyone else I'm around. So I think it's

742
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 1: really important to keep talking about that thing you said

743
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: earlier where you're like, well, you can choose to this

744
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: can be no sex before a marriage, just can choose

745
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: to be like, whatever your sexuality is is about you

746
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 1: and getting to know yourself and you deciding that. Um.

747
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: So I do want to hear about the polyamory because

748
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: I personally don't think I could live my life that way,

749
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 1: but I love the way because I'm I feel like

750
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 1: I'm a jealous person because of some other stuff I've

751
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: been through, and so I would kill me. I can't

752
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: imagine it. Like maybe I just don't have the freedom

753
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: yet to think that way. But tell me what that

754
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: means for you. Yeah, And so you know a couple

755
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: of things. I know people who think like polyamory is

756
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: an advanced with being in a relationship. I'm like, mother, funk,

757
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: it's not. It's just it's just different, right. I don't like,

758
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: I don't I don't subscide to that at all. Um,

759
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: so polyamory is yes, just it's loving or being in

760
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,800
Speaker 1: a relationship with more than one person. There are a

761
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: variety of ways to do it everyone. I don't know

762
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 1: that everyone is polyamorous. I think that most people probably

763
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: are to some extent um. But again, because of style

764
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 1: norm there's this idea of no, I could never live

765
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: that life and I could never do that. Jealousy is

766
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: normal and it is a part of polyamory. Polyamorous people

767
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 1: are not do not not get jealous absolutely, It's just

768
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: it's how we view jealousy. Um. The one thing that

769
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: we take into any relationship is the understanding. And there

770
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 1: are people in monogamous relationships who do this by the

771
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: way as well, they just don't have other partners. Is

772
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: the under sending that my partner does not belong to me.

773
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: And then in our society, especially in Western culture, and

774
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: especially um since the advancement of the idea of romance,

775
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: which did not always exist, right because marriage used to

776
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,919
Speaker 1: be about survival and someone started marketing romance and making

777
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: money off of it. That you know, my partner is

778
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: supposed to complete me, belong to me, be my person,

779
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: and that whole thing, um, that part is actually codependency.

780
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: Whether you're monogamous or polyamorous, it doesn't matter what you

781
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: are that and so I I know that I can

782
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: be a codependent person. I'm currently reading Codependent No More,

783
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: which is a very yeah and I and I know

784
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,839
Speaker 1: that I have codependent tendencies, um, and I've been I've

785
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: been working through those. I also realized when I look

786
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: back at relationships that I, you know, that there were

787
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: times and I always felt like why do I have

788
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 1: to choose the one? I want both of them? Like

789
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: it was never in my mind like I only I

790
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 1: was only supposed to be with one person. I decided

791
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: to be with one person when I got married because

792
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well that's I guess that's what

793
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: you do. But I never I never wanted to be

794
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: with just one person. And I found myself, even when

795
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 1: I was in relationships, struggling to to to be in

796
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: that one relationship and honor it. So for me, I'm

797
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 1: probably one of those people who had again kind of

798
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 1: like other things, has just always been a polyamorous person.

799
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in only being with with one person. Um.

800
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: Some people discover that they are kind of you know,

801
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: by accident, but it's it's definitely a journey into learning

802
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 1: about the self. I will say that much. I'm fascinated.

803
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 1: I just like, so, what does it look like like?

804
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 1: I mean, are you like, will you date multiple people

805
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,399
Speaker 1: and you'll know that they're they're dating other people as well,

806
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 1: but it's not just like a surface kind of dating,

807
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: like you're in a relationship. Oh my god, and it

808
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 1: is so freeing and yes, and it is still free

809
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: like so I was just I just started seeing from

810
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: one and so most of most of the people that

811
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 1: I that I consider my lovers are what we would

812
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: call comments. They live in other places, so I see

813
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 1: them when I see them. Okay, um, this person happens

814
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: to be in New York City, which excites me. It's

815
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 1: very difficult to find, at least in my experience, because

816
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 1: find then we're open to poly emory without watching that

817
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: it means that you're having yet because they yeah, because

818
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: they first of all, men don't seem to mind when

819
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: they're the ones sleeping with that. That's what I was thinking, right,

820
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: But if you're willing to see me with other people

821
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: that are just like wait, what okay, okay, okay, I

822
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 1: can't or or they think it means we haven't six tonight,

823
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I didn't say it was a swinger.

824
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 1: I feel o. Everest says a difference, right, um, And

825
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: there is a difference, um. But so no, I was

826
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: just fine at his house and have a beautiful, wonderful experience.

827
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: So I was no listing about all day today. And

828
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: on the side of the bed these slippers that are

829
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 1: like they've got these little sparkly things on them, and

830
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: I was like, I love your partner slippers and it's like, yeah, thanks,

831
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: you know, I'll let her know. I like that. To me,

832
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: it's like that for me feels it feels like freedom,

833
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: it feels like heaven. For him to say, yeah, I

834
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: told her you were coming over, and she was asking me,

835
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: are you excited, and he's like, I don't know, you know,

836
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: We're just gonna see how it goes. And I'm like, yeah,

837
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: this is so cool. Versus a guy that I met

838
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: who was so amazing, who I really liked, and he

839
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: told me that he was seeing someone and I was

840
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: like cool. He's like, yes, it's long distance, great, no problem,

841
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: except she assumed that they were in a monogamous relationship,

842
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: and he she found out that he was seeing me,

843
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 1: and then she reached out to me and we had

844
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: a really nice conversation. But the then I said to him,

845
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 1: I was like, why didn't you tell me that? You know?

846
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: She didn't know. He's like, I'm sorry, He's like, I really,

847
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to learn what I want, what this

848
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: thing is. I was like, all right, well you've got

849
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 1: to go have a conversation with her about it, you

850
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean, But don't see me and not

851
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 1: tell her like I'm not. I've done that. I've done that.

852
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: That's just shady that yeah, yeah, it is, it is.

853
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 1: I've done a complete mistress side check whatever. I've done

854
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: all the things. And that's how I know, Like I

855
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: know what feels good. That's not that's that's that's a

856
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,839
Speaker 1: know for me. Right. I decided that I can't beat

857
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: monogamous men, Well I do. It's not something you hear

858
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 1: a lot of women say. I mean, I think I do.

859
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 1: Here in that so much um communication and honesty, which

860
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: is refreshing because I think sometimes maybe like what you

861
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 1: said in a second example, it's like he's exploring, but

862
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to be honest with his partner.

863
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: Which is really what the scary stuff in relationships is,

864
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: at least for me, is when you don't have that

865
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: kind of connection or um foundation to be able to

866
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: be that vulnerable and honest with your partner. And so

867
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 1: in what you're saying, I hear a lot of honesty,

868
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 1: which is I mean, I would have been like who

869
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: the fox slippers are those? But but that I like

870
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 1: that you're you guys both had responses that honored the situation.

871
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: And I think that's actually really beautiful. Yeah, And I

872
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 1: think that's the thing that I love about it, is

873
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: that for for for whatever reason, and I think it

874
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: does have to do with what you were saying in

875
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: the beginning, Kelly about the shame and the guilt. I

876
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 1: think people have so many different ideas, Like I know

877
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 1: so many men and women who have sexual proclivities, and

878
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, did you tell you a partner like

879
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: I can't, Like, you're gonna look at me funny, They're

880
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 1: gonna they're gonna say something. I've had I've had women

881
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 1: tell me that they've tried to tell their partners that

882
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 1: they want something and they're like no. And I've had

883
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 1: a lot of men tell me that they've trying to

884
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: tell their the women in their lives that they want

885
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: to They're like, that's disgusting, You're a pervert. And then

886
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: what happens is people still have this need. And I'm

887
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: not excusing cheating, but what I have found is that

888
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: most people don't cheat because they're greedy or looking to

889
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: have lots of spress with people, But they are cheating

890
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 1: because they're desiring a connection with someone who understands them,

891
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: and that person understands them in that way where they

892
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: cannot for some reason to communicate with their partners. Now,

893
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: I still keep need to go back and find a

894
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 1: way to either communicate with your partner or come to

895
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 1: some of the kind of agreements because the cheating does

896
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 1: it just wretched it for everybody. The person who I

897
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 1: and I've cheated too, like I've done a lot of

898
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: the things, you know, it makes it. It makes the

899
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,800
Speaker 1: trust more difficult, you know, down the road. It just

900
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: it makes the person who cheat it. I know, I

901
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 1: was act with guilt, you know, by doing it. It

902
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 1: just didn't feel good. So there are lots of discussions

903
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: to be had around that, and that's one of the

904
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: things needs that I try to encourage people to do

905
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: is talk talk a lot, a lot a lot. Don't

906
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: just like someone. You really have to talk about who

907
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,879
Speaker 1: you are and be honest with who you are. I'm

908
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 1: not going to date a guy and pretend like I

909
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 1: don't want to be spank your choked, because what's gonna

910
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: happen is we're gonna get into a relationship. And then

911
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: after three months I say, so bit you think you

912
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: might want to choke? Says you gonna be like what not? Transition?

913
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: All right? Right? Are you? Do you stilt? You ever

914
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: want to try something like that? Now this man has

915
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 1: never heard me right, And now what do I do?

916
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 1: Do I do I go cheat because I want to

917
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 1: be with my responsibility to let him know within the

918
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 1: first couple of days that this is what I was

919
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: into and if he wasn't the one for me to

920
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: let him go, Which go back to that thing about

921
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: us so wanting to be in relationship with someone that

922
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 1: will deny first of ourselves, just to have someone I

923
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: would rather be alone than lie about who I am,

924
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: just to have someone lay next to me who ends

925
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 1: up being a stranger anyway, because there's nothing worse than

926
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: being alone in a relationship that's a sucking, ugly feeling.

927
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: It is. That's the loneliest feeling. I think it really is.

928
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 1: It really is, And I think too many people are

929
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:36,800
Speaker 1: afraid to be by themselves and enjoy their own company.

930
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 1: I think it's hard because then you have to face yourself,

931
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: and so sometimes the things that we've been denying are repressing.

932
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: They're ugly at first until you can get to the

933
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 1: other side of it. I know I've dealt with that,

934
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 1: like I don't want to face something, and the second

935
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: I've finally enforced to, usually it's usually the most freeing

936
00:54:55,719 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: moment when I finally just accept or face or look

937
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 1: at and then it's like the other side's beautiful in

938
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 1: the most peaceful therene place I can find. But until

939
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 1: I get to that place, yeah, it's not pretty. Yeah exactly,

940
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 1: well I like it. Yeah, Masha, where can people find you?

941
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 1: I know I was listening to your podcast today? So

942
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: are you gonna keep recording that? I know I need

943
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 1: to when I need to people on. I know my

944
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,719
Speaker 1: plate is in my dance car is extra fle I

945
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 1: will get back to the podcast. I do enjoy doing it.

946
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: I think I enjoy being on other people's podcasts. More.

947
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: By the way, this is like the Okay, I like this,

948
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,879
Speaker 1: I was want to come back any time, but people

949
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: can find me. Um. I'm mostly I'm most active on

950
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: Instagram or I can do the most and be the

951
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 1: most free. Um. So it's Sensual Energy Algemy across all

952
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 1: social media platforms um and you can also find me

953
00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 1: on my personal Facebook page, Debbie Masha. I'm I've not

954
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: been banned so far. Again, I'm very excited. I was

955
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:10,400
Speaker 1: banned all summer, so I'm being very very cheerful. Energy Alchemy.

956
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah everywhere on all even TikTok. I'm everywhere and that's

957
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:19,879
Speaker 1: also your website, right, Sensual Energy Alchemy dot com. I'll

958
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: put this in the description for the bias and people

959
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,320
Speaker 1: can find you. Would you say, like, what would be

960
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 1: sort of um, a person who's listening to this that

961
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 1: maybe they have questions about what that you would be

962
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: the right person for them to call. Oh yay. So

963
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 1: I've seen myself as like the kindergarten teacher of like

964
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 1: sacred sexuality. I'm here for people who are like I

965
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 1: want to explore this, but I'm not really quite sure

966
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 1: how you want to start. Yeah, you know, like I

967
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 1: love even when I was a personal trainer. I love

968
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 1: I love the newbie people and just and just broadening

969
00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: the newby mind. Yeah. So and another thing asked thought

970
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 1: throughout this whole thing was, um, just if you're feeling

971
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,760
Speaker 1: unsatisfied and I don't even know if I mean sexually,

972
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,800
Speaker 1: but just like out of touch with your own body

973
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 1: and your own self and in your own life. I

974
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:14,680
Speaker 1: feel like you would be a really great person for

975
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: people to reach out to. Yes, come see, come with

976
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 1: a very simple you start with the basics for the

977
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 1: next thing. You know, you're creating your own porn of yourself.

978
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 1: I named my pussy is what you told us we

979
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 1: had to name our volva. I never expected to be

980
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 1: doing that. But she has a name now. So have

981
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 1: you shared it with I haven't shared it. Maybe that's

982
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 1: our next episode. That's so exciting. Yes, Well, thank you

983
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 1: so much for being here. You guys go check out

984
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 1: Sensual Energy Alchemy dot com or Sensual Energy Alchemy on

985
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: Instagram or all the social media's. I think that you

986
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 1: guys will really appreciate it. I just really you appreciate

987
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 1: you being here and talking so openly with us, and

988
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thank you. I really appreciate you

989
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 1: having me on. It was an honor. Thank you so

990
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: much for so much fun. All right, thank you guys

991
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 1: for listening. H