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Speaker 1: If you're going to be chill about money, you gotta

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Speaker 1: be able to be afford to be chill about money.

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Speaker 1: If you were ever going to pay their side of

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Speaker 1: the rent, you have to do so knowing that there

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Speaker 1: would be some level of consequence by the end, whether

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Speaker 1: that mean you don't get that money back by a

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Speaker 1: certain time or at all, that means that you have

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Speaker 1: to pay an additional month just to like kind of

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Speaker 1: figure this out, Like there are consequences that come along

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Speaker 1: with being chill about money. You have to be able

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Speaker 1: to afford that.

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Speaker 2: Ava Fam, it's been a minute, but we are back

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Speaker 2: with the BAQA. So for those who are new, also welcome.

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Speaker 2: But every Friday we take questions from the ba fam community.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to get your questions answered and

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Speaker 2: you want priority lane access to the wisdom that this

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say generations when we win any generations

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Speaker 2: that me and my friends have to offer, y'all sign

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Speaker 2: up for the brand Ambition Patreon right now. You can

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Speaker 2: go to our show notes find out for like five

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Speaker 2: bucks a month you get so much access to me,

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Speaker 2: to the ba community, our private group chat, our book club.

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Speaker 2: You can be live in the audience, getting your questions

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Speaker 2: answered the virtual audience for the Brown Table, so check

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Speaker 2: that out. If you want to submit a question, you

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Speaker 2: can hit me up at Brannibission Podcast at gmail. So

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Speaker 2: consider like the Patreon to be the I just was flying,

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Speaker 2: so you know, I got a first row seat to

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Speaker 2: classism in effect, so we have our first class as

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Speaker 2: our Patreon, then we have our I would say, like

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Speaker 2: regular ba fam your premium economy. There's not really an

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Speaker 2: economy lane, right, because you will still get access to

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Speaker 2: me at Brannivision Podcast on ig you can DM me

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Speaker 2: your questions if you are I hate to say old school,

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Speaker 2: but if you'd like to just send an email. If

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Speaker 2: you're a little wordy for the Instagram, go to email

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Speaker 2: and you can email me Brandnambition Podcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Those emails go directly to me. I read every single one.

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Speaker 2: And now we got to do a little disclaimer because

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Speaker 2: I don't need any of these beautiful women on my

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Speaker 2: show to be sued, least of all me. I ain't

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Speaker 2: got it come for me. I don't have it. But

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Speaker 2: feel free do not see us. We are not your

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Speaker 2: financial planners, your financial advisors. We are just a couple

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Speaker 2: of badass brown women who have some wisdom and some

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Speaker 2: ideas and some opinions to share. I want to take

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Speaker 2: a moment to introduce you to my co host for

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Speaker 2: the BAQA. This week, we have Alexa Claire from The

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Speaker 2: Financial Diet.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, I am so happy to be here with

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Speaker 1: you all you.

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Speaker 2: And then we have Jonquiline Hill, the host of the

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Speaker 2: Boxes podcast. Explain it to me and a new bike

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Speaker 2: riding aficionado and you can call her JQ because we're

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Speaker 2: cool like that. Now. Yeah, so excited to be here,

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Speaker 2: okayva fan, Let's get into our first question. It comes

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Speaker 2: from a listener who wants to remain anonymous, and I

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Speaker 2: think it's pretty obvious when we listen to it. Why

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Speaker 2: but this made me cringe so hard and I don't

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Speaker 2: even know if I have a good answer for this.

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Speaker 2: Anonymous says, help, I have no idea how to handle this.

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Speaker 2: Our landlord raised our rent by five hundred dollars earlier

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Speaker 2: this year. My roommate has been struggling to cover her

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Speaker 2: half already, and now this I've been paying an additional

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Speaker 2: five hundred dollars my so to cover for her. But

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Speaker 2: it's been a few months and it doesn't look like

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Speaker 2: things are changing. How do I ask her to either

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Speaker 2: come up with the money or tell her she needs

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Speaker 2: to go so I can find a new roommate. Am

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Speaker 2: I an asshole?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Is so awkward? Very nice of her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my thing is like girl, you're not like, well,

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Speaker 3: I don't know the gender. Girl is gender neutral in

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Speaker 3: this term, I call everybody girl. But hey, you're not

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Speaker 3: an asshole. But the thing is, you do have to

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Speaker 3: have a conversation with your roommate. And it's a conversation

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Speaker 3: that probably should have come when she initially could.

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Speaker 1: Not pay it.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if the situation is like now she

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Speaker 3: owes you money. I think that would be the thing

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Speaker 3: with me. She would owe me money. I don't have

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Speaker 3: five hundred dollars a month in addition to what I

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Speaker 3: paid her rent to do. I think you're just gonna

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Speaker 3: have to sit her down and say, hey, this is

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Speaker 3: not sustainable. I just straight up do not have it.

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Speaker 3: I guess, like the follow up question, which we don't

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Speaker 3: know the answer to, I'm curious if you all signed

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Speaker 3: the least together or your names individually, because if you

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Speaker 3: signed individually, then I think you may be off the hook.

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Speaker 3: And that's something that she'll just have to deal with.

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Speaker 3: You can help her brainstorm solutions, like here's a side hustle.

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Speaker 3: Maybe we can talk the landlord down or get an

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Speaker 3: arrangement with payment. But if it's under your name, it

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Speaker 3: may be time to find a new roommate and you're

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Speaker 3: just gonna have to sit down and have the hard,

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Speaker 3: awkward conversation. Go in with kindness, don't be a jerk

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Speaker 3: about it. But I think just saying hey, this is

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Speaker 3: not sustainable, I don't have it. I think you just

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Speaker 3: have to be honest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you got to absolutely name the elephant

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Speaker 1: in the room first and foremost by starting with compassion, though,

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Speaker 1: because I'm sure that for your roommate it's already a

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Speaker 1: very embarrassing situation for them of having to be in

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Speaker 1: a situation wherein they can no longer pay a rent

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Speaker 1: that they have been they were fine with before, but

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Speaker 1: then big bad landlord comes around raising rents. So I

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Speaker 1: think first and foremost starting with compassion of just like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I understand that this is a very difficult situation for

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Speaker 1: you and for myself, and make it a week. I

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Speaker 1: hate that we are in this situation that we are

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Speaker 1: dealing with right now. It's definitely a rough patch, but financially,

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Speaker 1: I just can't keep covering your portion. I need to

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Speaker 1: know if you'll be able to start paying your half

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Speaker 1: of the rent buy and then put a date there,

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Speaker 1: like we need a date ideally like a month out, okay,

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Speaker 1: or if we need to start talking about other arrangements

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Speaker 1: like perhaps subletting your room. What can we make happen?

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Speaker 1: How can we creatively you know, find find the answer here?

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Speaker 1: Because my thought process is if she's been paying five

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars extra to cover the roommate, like something tells

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Speaker 1: me that they've been they were friends beforehand, Like this

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Speaker 1: wasn't just like a yeah, like we're just gonna randomly

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Speaker 1: room together some random stranger I met on like Facebook,

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Speaker 1: Like it's something they knew each other beforehand, Which is

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Speaker 1: why I'm really promoting the wee conversation, the compassion. But

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Speaker 1: also we do need to have some solid Let's have

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Speaker 1: a date by when you're going to start paying. Let's

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Speaker 1: write a contract up that keeps you to that date.

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Speaker 1: Let's make sure that you know the required parties that

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Speaker 1: need to be aware of this are made aware of this,

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Speaker 1: Like I just yeah, compassion but also follow.

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Speaker 2: Up with that would like make her the landlord almost like, well,

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Speaker 2: if you were to draw up a contract, I guess

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Speaker 2: it does matter. I'm just like, does she even need

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Speaker 2: to be the bad guy here? Like does she need

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Speaker 2: to draw up a contract? Or can she just say

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Speaker 2: like I mean there, I'm assuming we have to assume

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Speaker 2: we don't know how we have to assume masual landlord

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Speaker 2: and that there's a lease, you know.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I love what you said, though, Alexa, like you're almost

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Speaker 2: giving like a good script to use and like you

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Speaker 2: definitely come into the table with compassion, but at a

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Speaker 2: certain and I don't know about giving a month though.

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Speaker 2: I'm just thinking like if I were the person, and

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Speaker 2: I guess it's not the full five hundred, Like she's

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Speaker 2: paying two she's paying her half of that, which is

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Speaker 2: two fifty, But that extra two fifty unless the roommate

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Speaker 2: has a plan to create that money or find it somewhere.

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Speaker 2: How is the other roommate the one who's like not

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Speaker 2: able to afford it? How are they not stressed about this? Like,

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Speaker 2: how are they not bringing this up? Why is the

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Speaker 2: onus on the roommate who's covering it to like come

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Speaker 2: up with a solution.

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Speaker 1: So here's the thing is, this is what I'm constantly

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Speaker 1: telling my friends about my friends specifically who are more

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Speaker 1: of the quote unquote nice variety, not kind, but nice,

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Speaker 1: like not wanting to rock the boat. It's like, if

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Speaker 1: you're going to be chill about money, you gotta be

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Speaker 1: able to be afford to be chill about money. If

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Speaker 1: you were ever going to pay their side of the rent,

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Speaker 1: you have to do so knowing that there would be

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Speaker 1: some level of consequence by the end, whether that means

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Speaker 1: you don't get that money back by a certain time

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Speaker 1: or at all, that means that you have to pay

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Speaker 1: an additional month just to like kind of figure this out, Like,

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Speaker 1: there are consequences that come along with being chill about money.

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Speaker 1: You have to be able to afford that. So since

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Speaker 1: we're past that point that they should have spoken up

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Speaker 1: about this and said we gotta you know, I'm assuming

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Speaker 1: that the rent of the landlord said hey, within two months,

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Speaker 1: within three months, you will, like our rent will increase.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like a okay, immediately next month, is what

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming. Perhaps y'all disagree with me and care cool

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Speaker 1: with it, but like I would imagine there was sub

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Speaker 1: level of warning and they both just kind of kept

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Speaker 1: quiet about it until it became a whole issue. And

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Speaker 1: then because the run through rote to you didn't like

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Speaker 1: was fine paying that part? Like there's a certain consequence here,

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Speaker 1: at which point I think now the answer is, how

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Speaker 1: can we creatively get out of this? Figure out the situation?

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Speaker 1: Can we sublet your room? Where else can you go?

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Speaker 1: Can you get outside a part time job for a moment?

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Speaker 1: What are our options? Because we have to start the

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Speaker 1: conversation most who started the conversation yet? Which is the

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Speaker 1: issue here in.

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Speaker 2: My opinion, JQ, you think that she owes her money?

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Speaker 3: I mean, if you're paying this additional I mean unless

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Speaker 3: you're like, Okay, you got these past three months, the

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Speaker 3: three past months I got, and then after that we're

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Speaker 3: even we're gonna split it the way we said. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think it's just unfortunately the conversation is going to

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Speaker 3: be uncomfortable. But I think the anticipation of the conversation

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Speaker 3: is likely making you more miserable than actually having it is.

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Speaker 3: That's what I find because there are times where I'm like,

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Speaker 3: if I beat around the bush and if I avoid

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Speaker 3: and once I do it. I'm like, oh, I mean,

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Speaker 3: it wasn't fun, but it's done and I came out

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Speaker 3: on the other side. And if you need to, maybe

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Speaker 3: you all have a mutual friends. Granted I understand if

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Speaker 3: y'all don't want someone in your business, but maybe someone

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Speaker 3: who could serve as a mediator or like, how can

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Speaker 3: we figure this out? And this is assuming that your

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Speaker 3: landlord is acting like in good faith, because if they

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Speaker 3: pulled a switcher roo on you, that maybe they shouldn't have.

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Speaker 3: Also look into your local tent laws, you know, because

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Speaker 3: if that what their behavior isn't on the up and up,

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Speaker 3: maybe y'all both deserve some compensation, you know, like how

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Speaker 3: much notice does a landlord have to give before the

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Speaker 3: rent is raised? Is there a cap on how much

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Speaker 3: the rent can be raised?

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Speaker 1: DC, we have.

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Speaker 3: Some relatively good tenant laws. And also like automatically you're

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Speaker 3: month to month if you do not resign a lease.

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Speaker 3: So depending on the situation, it may even be worth

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Speaker 3: it for you to break a lease and find a

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Speaker 3: cheaper place for you to live on your own, and

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Speaker 3: that would put your friend in an unfortunate spot. But

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Speaker 3: then perhaps they could find a place that they can

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Speaker 3: also afford.

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Speaker 2: I think that's really smart, especially like looking into your

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Speaker 2: local tenants laws I used to. I've lived in both,

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Speaker 2: like do do y'all have? Like, well, I know, Alexa,

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Speaker 2: you're subletting right now, but I've lived in apartments where

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Speaker 2: it was like I lived in someone's basement and my

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Speaker 2: landlord is just the homeowner. And this has all been

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Speaker 2: in New York. Or also like lived in like a

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Speaker 2: big building with like a management company and everything is

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Speaker 2: like very by the books, and there are some situations

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Speaker 2: that are more flexible than others. I feel like if

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Speaker 2: I was the one paying the extra two point fifty

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Speaker 2: for my roommate, I wouldn't ask for the money back.

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Speaker 2: I kind of agree with what Alexa was saying about

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Speaker 2: how if you're going to be flexible with money, if

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Speaker 2: you're going to offer it up, then don't expect to

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Speaker 2: get it back. And I have done that, and I

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Speaker 2: just feel like it's fast tracked to like conflict and

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Speaker 2: in a bad way, like to be disappointed. If you're

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Speaker 2: going to like expect this person who doesn't have the

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Speaker 2: money today to suddenly come up with it a couple

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Speaker 2: months from now, and then oh, two months worth of

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Speaker 2: that money that you lent them, just like but at

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Speaker 2: the same time, like clarity is kindness in the sense

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Speaker 2: of when you doing that, you have to either say

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Speaker 2: either way, I'm expecting this back and here's how it's

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Speaker 2: gonna work, or I'm going to float you for two

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Speaker 2: months and if you can figure this out, that's great.

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Speaker 2: If you can't, just call it even and you can

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Speaker 2: move on. But you got to move on to your

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Speaker 2: own place, because I don't want to keep up this

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Speaker 2: kind of spending.

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Speaker 1: If you are going to spend money on someone in

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Speaker 1: any way without clearly making it none that you expect

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Speaker 1: to have this money come back to you by a

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Speaker 1: certain point in a certain way, that is charity. You

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Speaker 1: signed off all right to that money, now, you know. So,

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Speaker 1: Like even with my situation in DC, we had to

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Speaker 1: make it very clear between all three of us, Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's when we will all move out. Here's how long

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Speaker 1: this other third roommate will be responsible for paying her

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Speaker 1: part of the rent even though she's no longer living here,

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Speaker 1: just to give us some time to save up to

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Speaker 1: figure out how we're going to pay rent. When we

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Speaker 1: were splitting three ways versus now two, and we were

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Speaker 1: all very amenable to it, specifically because of the way

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Speaker 1: the contract was written and the fact that we we

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Speaker 1: came up with it in a way of, Hey, we're

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Speaker 1: all in a sticky situation here, how can we all

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Speaker 1: benefit one another? It's the best of our ability. How

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Speaker 1: can we be aware of you know, each other outside

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Speaker 1: of ourselves, you know, not be selfish about our approach here?

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Speaker 1: It takes an enormous amount of maturity to be able

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Speaker 1: to have that conversation.

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Speaker 2: How did y'all come up with the contract language? Did

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Speaker 2: you just use like an AI?

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Speaker 1: You know what's so funny is yes, we did have

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Speaker 1: chat GPT write up a contract. One of us, however,

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Speaker 1: is a lawyer, so she refined the language. Yeah, very helpful.

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Speaker 1: She refined the language a little bit for us, and

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Speaker 1: then we both made we all three made it some

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Speaker 1: certain edits to make it more menable to what we

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Speaker 1: individually needed, and then from there we signed and just

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Speaker 1: sent it in between ourselves. Yeah, that was really itch

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Speaker 1: that started it off. It's like, how what do you do?

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Speaker 1: How do you start? This is where I'm saying this

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Speaker 1: AI can really help thousand times.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I did a contract with someone who is like

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Speaker 2: helping me with some like a fitness trainer. I made

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Speaker 2: it up myself and I was like, this is fine.

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Speaker 2: I've read enough of them to know what I need

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Speaker 2: to put in here. It's cool, that's really smart. Okay,

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Speaker 2: but I'm really interested by Okay. So the companies bought

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Speaker 2: out your building, right, and how much notice did you?

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Speaker 1: So you have to get out conversation that so nine months.

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Speaker 1: So the conversation, however, to sell the building started a

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Speaker 1: year prior. It was between two different buyers. It was

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Speaker 1: one was an individual, the other was a full company.

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Speaker 1: The individual was like, listen, here's what I can do.

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Speaker 1: I know you guys need a new elevator. We're a

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Speaker 1: pre war building. The elevator is literally from like the fifties.

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Speaker 1: People have gotten stuck in it over the summer for hours.

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Speaker 1: It's really bad. No one uses it anymore.

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Speaker 2: Ooh okay, no no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: Right. So he's like, here's what I can do. I

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Speaker 1: can replace the elevator. I can install a ramp to

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Speaker 1: make this place handicap accessible, and like that was that

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Speaker 1: was pretty much it. And the others were like, so

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Speaker 1: we can give you thirty K per apartment, and on

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Speaker 1: top of that, like nine months extra time for you

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Speaker 1: to be able to move out. Right after we signed

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Speaker 1: at Jewish Point, we're life. Yeah, we're won't take thirty

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Speaker 1: k over a working elevator. But a lot of people

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Speaker 1: were splitting out of course between themselves. A lot of

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Speaker 1: the people in our buildings share their apartments, like by three.

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Speaker 1: Some of us got more than thirty, some of us

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Speaker 1: got less than thirty. It all depends on how long

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Speaker 1: some of you were there. And like the ratio of

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Speaker 1: how it all turned out, I have to check what

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Speaker 1: mine was. I don't remember, but it was. I was happy.

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Speaker 1: I was happy, for sure. But the whole issue came

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Speaker 1: and like with them pushing off the bio because with

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Speaker 1: the tariffs and whatnot, They're like, listen, we got the

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Speaker 1: construction of this building, but now it's like, are we

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Speaker 1: gonna be able to afford the construction because of the tariffs? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we don't know if it's gonna be sold or not.

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Speaker 1: We don't even know if we're gonna get the buyout.

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Speaker 1: So my own, my roommate, the one and I who

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Speaker 1: are sticking around are having a situation here of like

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Speaker 1: are we gonna have to eat this money now? That

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Speaker 1: like we're paying the part of the third roommates in

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Speaker 1: addition to our parts or is it all gonna make

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Speaker 1: sense at the end when we get the buyout, like

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Speaker 1: do we get one or not? So it's it's a gamble.

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Speaker 1: It's a gamble for sure, but we thought it through.

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Speaker 2: That is really awkward.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely is.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like you guys handled it well, but

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Speaker 2: now you have this like uncertainty that's really stressful. So

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Speaker 2: is that why you're subletting or just like, you know,

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Speaker 2: are you paying rent over there and rent in New

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Speaker 2: York or how's that working.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing rent over there and still letting here. But

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Speaker 1: my friend luckily is handling most of this sublet situation

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Speaker 1: for herself, like on her end, like she's paying for

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Speaker 1: some of it because it's really good to her. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: I'm house sitting. It's really where it was. My name

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Speaker 1: is like on an actual sublet agreement. But yes, which

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Speaker 1: I'm very grateful for. Believe me, I'm counting the privilege here.

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Speaker 1: I'm very grateful for the friend and all that kind

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Speaker 1: of situation.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, and I mean having had roommates, like

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Speaker 2: it is nice to get your own space again for

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Speaker 2: a little while. Yeah, well, listener, anonymous, I should have

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Speaker 2: given you a pseudonym. Actually, you should give yourself one.

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Speaker 2: If y'all are going to be anonymous, you gotta tell

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Speaker 2: me or I'm gonna give you something like Corny, like

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Speaker 2: Felicia or Janet. I don't know, but good luck with

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Speaker 2: this situation. I want an update. I love when y'all

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Speaker 2: send me updates on your awkward money situations. I think, then, Alexa,

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Speaker 2: our advice really is going with compassion. But don't forget

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Speaker 2: clarity is kindness. If you did not set boundaries about

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Speaker 2: this money that you were lending her or what it

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Speaker 2: was going to be a lend or gift in the beginning,

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Speaker 2: you have to like do that now and it may

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Speaker 2: require you to eat the expense that you have spent

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Speaker 2: two fifty times too a couple of months you've been

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Speaker 2: paying this rent. But then also give your self grace

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Speaker 2: and give your self compassion. Don't be shy about telling

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Speaker 2: her what you need. And even though the big bad

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Speaker 2: landlord made this change, you did not, that doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: it's your responsibility to cover her rent. She got to

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Speaker 2: put her big girl pants on and either find the

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Speaker 2: money or move it on. You got to help your

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Speaker 2: help find another roommate for yourself, someone who can afford it.

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Speaker 2: So it's interesting how this question is like so tied

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Speaker 2: to what we talked about during the Brown table about

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Speaker 2: just the cost of housing increase and how it is

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Speaker 2: so it's rough. Yeahs is not a little bit of money.

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Speaker 1: The ripple waves are far and wide for sure, because

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Speaker 1: now I'm thinking, even like in situations where, for example,

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Speaker 1: the roommate might have to move back in with their parents,

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Speaker 1: what kind of toll is not going to put on

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Speaker 1: the parents? And then like who does that toll? It

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Speaker 1: just continues on and on. In I hand, I hate

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Speaker 1: it for us.

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Speaker 2: Well, we all need each other. I think that she's

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Speaker 2: lucky to have a friend who could help her out

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Speaker 2: this much. But you can only do what you can

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Speaker 2: do right, and your friend will be okay. I mean,

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Speaker 2: she'll be okay. And corporate greed is the enemy as ever,

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Speaker 2: truly put it on a bumper sticker, all right, Alexa

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Speaker 2: Claire the last one standing, Thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: joining me this week. Y'all noticed JQ had a bounce,

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Speaker 2: but I want to thank my other guests for this

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Speaker 2: week's b A qa JQ from Vox's podcast explain it

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Speaker 2: to me. Y'all gotta go check it out. You gotta

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Speaker 2: go find Alexa and she's at Moments with Moments whack

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Speaker 2: wac on ig. I'm going to be putting it. It's

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Speaker 2: not my fault. You came up with it. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to put it in the show notes. But thank you

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Speaker 2: so much, new friend for joining me on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: It's an occupational hazard of being my friend that I

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Speaker 2: will invite you on the show eventually.

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Speaker 1: And you'll know I liked it. I was smelling so

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Speaker 1: my cheeks were hurt in this afternoon and I got

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Speaker 1: this to yes, absolutely coming up ya.

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Speaker 2: Well, thanks for sharing with Bafam. Yeah reminder, ba Fam,

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Speaker 2: check out us on Patreon. We're at Brand Ambition podcast

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Speaker 2: on Patreon. See all the cool benefits. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: put all of that in the show notes as well,

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Speaker 2: and we'll see you Monday for another episode of Brown Ambition. Bye,

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Speaker 2: ba Fam.