Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, Oh Ship, And just like that,
Speaker 1: we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another
Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless episode. What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. You're gonna
Speaker 1: jump straight into it because what do I do best?
Speaker 1: I fix y'all mess? Hey, what's up? So? I'm eighteen now,
Speaker 1: but last year I had a friend let's just call
Speaker 1: her A. We were not really that close, but we
Speaker 1: hung out a few times. One night I was at
Speaker 1: her house, her boyfriend came. She went outside to meet him.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, it is dark. I didn't see his face,
Speaker 1: but I assumed he was cute by his cologne scent
Speaker 1: for some reason. Fast forward a few months later, I
Speaker 1: was at a party and there was this one kid
Speaker 1: there with his parents. He was talking some weird stuff
Speaker 1: and I was laughing. Then this boy walk up and
Speaker 1: I was like, are you into those things? Jokingly? I
Speaker 1: don't remember what we spoke about, but after I remember
Speaker 1: him asking me if I had an Instagram and I
Speaker 1: said yes. He followed me and we talked for a
Speaker 1: good thirty minutes before I got bored and went home.
Speaker 1: I followed him back A couple of days after he
Speaker 1: texted me and I responded charming as hell, filled with
Speaker 1: sweet talk, and he was so nice, so we started dating.
Speaker 1: After our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like, what
Speaker 1: kind of friend are you? I didn't know what he
Speaker 1: was talking about, so I pretended not to hear that.
Speaker 1: I noticed my friend that we're calling A not texting
Speaker 1: me nor talking to me when we've seen each other.
Speaker 1: All she do is me mug. A few days later,
Speaker 1: somebody told me that the boy was A's boyfriend. I
Speaker 1: was shocked and stopped talking to him. The only person
Speaker 1: I told was one of my friends from church. She
Speaker 1: would always talk me into dating him, even though we
Speaker 1: both know about him having a girlfriend. I didn't listen
Speaker 1: to her well obviously. One day, as I was watching
Speaker 1: the boys, I g story. I saw him post the
Speaker 1: picture of my friend from church, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: when did that happen? Didn't pay it any mind, though.
Speaker 1: He came to my house and stood outside for a
Speaker 1: few nights, and I didn't respond until a few nights later.
Speaker 1: I got tired and went out there to him. He
Speaker 1: cried and told me A isn't who he thought she was,
Speaker 1: and no matter what, he's not going back to her.
Speaker 1: I didn't care because I have it to say. That's
Speaker 1: my friend, so I don't care what he says. I
Speaker 1: tried talking to A, but she wouldn't talk to me
Speaker 1: when I called her. Then I saw a video of
Speaker 1: the boy and my friend from church making out. A
Speaker 1: couple of days after I saw A, she looked sick
Speaker 1: and I wanted to ask her if she was okay,
Speaker 1: but she kept walking. Turns out she was pregnant and
Speaker 1: it was by the boy, and there now together until
Speaker 1: this day. She still thinks that I know that it
Speaker 1: was her BF, and still talked to him. We didn't
Speaker 1: even have sex. He did kiss me, though I know
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie. That was wrong and I
Speaker 1: was falling for him, But right as I heard that
Speaker 1: was her man, I was gone, that's not me and
Speaker 1: I don't care about our friendship no. More so is why?
Speaker 1: So what the funk are you asking me, baby girl?
Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you wanted to tell me this
Speaker 1: story and the way you told this story. You want
Speaker 1: to pay yourself out to be a better person than
Speaker 1: you may have been in this whole ordeal. Now you eighteen,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna break it down to you in terms
Speaker 1: that you can understand. I know you knew that that
Speaker 1: was your home girl's boyfriend. I know because you told
Speaker 1: on yourself and the damn story, little girl. You told
Speaker 1: on yourself right here, you said, after our fourth time
Speaker 1: meeting up, somebody was like, what kind of friend are you?
Speaker 1: And I didn't know what he was talking about, so
Speaker 1: I pretended not to hear. Then I noticed A not
Speaker 1: texting me or talking to me when we're seeing each other.
Speaker 1: All she do was mean mug A few days later,
Speaker 1: somebody told me that was the boy that A was
Speaker 1: going out with. I was shocked, and I stopped talking
Speaker 1: to him. And then you went on and said, the
Speaker 1: only person I told was my friend from church, and
Speaker 1: she would always talk me into dating him, even though
Speaker 1: we knew he had a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her.
Speaker 1: So you told on yourself, baby girl, because you and
Speaker 1: the backstabb and church girl that Beyonce was talking about
Speaker 1: in the Damn Song ran back and told A that
Speaker 1: she was sucking with her. Man A stopped talking to you,
Speaker 1: and then the damn church girl when and started working
Speaker 1: with the boyfriend as well. So now the boyfriend then
Speaker 1: had all of y'all and a goddamn frenzy with A
Speaker 1: being first, I'm just call you be, you be, and
Speaker 1: didn't see for the church girl. I don't got time
Speaker 1: for this all, y'all too damn young. Now we got
Speaker 1: A pregnant by this three time and nigg because he
Speaker 1: ain't two time, because it's three of y'all your ass.
Speaker 1: You knew that was A's boyfriend, And I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you another way that you snitched on your damn self. Baby.
Speaker 1: You remember his cologne that was the same goddamn colone
Speaker 1: had on all four times y'all met up. You ain't
Speaker 1: gonna tell me that you did not know that was
Speaker 1: A's bo a friend. Now, listen, you make mistakes. You're young,
Speaker 1: y'all are children. This ship happens with your ages. Okay,
Speaker 1: some ship like this happened to me when I was sixteen.
Speaker 1: I didn't end up pregnant, and neither did the other
Speaker 1: girl who was my friend, who was working with a
Speaker 1: guy that I was working with. You know, we were
Speaker 1: in fucking high school. It happened. She's still one of
Speaker 1: my good friends till this day. It's just ship that
Speaker 1: you do when you're young. I think you should still
Speaker 1: try to talk to a. I don't think you should
Speaker 1: give up on the friendship, So don't be hitting me
Speaker 1: talking about something. Yeah, I don't care about the friendship
Speaker 1: no more so. Yeah. No, you're and our girl with
Speaker 1: friends and you did her wrong. I think instead of
Speaker 1: trying to get her to respond, you should just apologize
Speaker 1: because you're not taking accountability for what you did, and
Speaker 1: you know you were wrong. And that fucking church girl
Speaker 1: knew she was wrong too. Okay, and I don't even
Speaker 1: mean to be using church and in the A word
Speaker 1: in the same sentence, but she knew she was wrong
Speaker 1: as well. But it's starting with you, starts with yourself.
Speaker 1: You can't speak for church girl. Okay, you need to apologize.
Speaker 1: Go in apologizing. I don't care lose your pride. And
Speaker 1: I know it's hard to not be prideful at such
Speaker 1: a young age, because y'all always feel like somebody coming
Speaker 1: at y'all and y'all tough, and and you got to
Speaker 1: prove a point, especially at your little age. Baby, put
Speaker 1: that product side, and even if you don't get your
Speaker 1: friend back, you still owe her a sincere apology. I mean,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying to you, Okay, I mean it. That's it.
Speaker 1: You are never to go around that nigga game. That
Speaker 1: is a's that is your friend's boyfriend and now baby father. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a family now. Whether you like it or not,
Speaker 1: Whether the connection was strong between you and this young
Speaker 1: boy and not, y'a don't know, but no goddamn connections.
Speaker 1: Y'all don't know about that. I ain't gonna say you
Speaker 1: don't know what love is, but you don't know about
Speaker 1: these connect actions that y'all got. No, y'all just a
Speaker 1: little horny ask people, little cute horny ass humans running
Speaker 1: around and ship and now Aidan got a damn baby
Speaker 1: and it better be his ship. If she was having
Speaker 1: sex with we just gonna call him D. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: she was having sex with D. She having sex with E,
Speaker 1: F and G. All right, but we're talking about you.
Speaker 1: You have to fix the situation. Even if it's not
Speaker 1: fixed in a sense for y'all are friends, you still
Speaker 1: did something wrong that you need to take accountability for,
Speaker 1: apologize for, and move on. She doesn't want to accept
Speaker 1: you as a friend anymore, that's fine, that's on you.
Speaker 1: She has every reason not to. She had every reason
Speaker 1: to whoop your ass. To be honest with you, but
Speaker 1: I'm not going to encourage fighting because y'all already do it.
Speaker 1: All right, check back in with me, but get yourself
Speaker 1: to gether a girl. There's so many little boys out here.
Speaker 1: Stop dating boys after your friends, all right, that's what
Speaker 1: we call leftovers? Should I ain't that old? I know
Speaker 1: y'all still call him that. Moving on, Hold, pull up.
Speaker 1: I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a
Speaker 1: couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
Speaker 1: you'll listen. Hey, Jess, Okay, so boom. I've been with
Speaker 1: my girl for five years, so we slid off the top.
Speaker 1: Everything right now is good, no complaints, just regular relationship ship,
Speaker 1: you know. But the problem, I believe is me. I
Speaker 1: have super bad trust issues that it sometimes affects our relationship.
Speaker 1: And I really do love her and plan to be
Speaker 1: with her as long as time takes us. We've dealt
Speaker 1: with flirting type stuff, but nothing serious that would make
Speaker 1: me not trust her. I say I'm the problem because
Speaker 1: before her I used to be a real bad cheater.
Speaker 1: Not proud, but it is what it is. So my
Speaker 1: question to you is, do you think my past actions
Speaker 1: will always affect my trust if you let it always
Speaker 1: affect your trust. Yes, the will. Yes, that's something that
Speaker 1: only you can control. Because I always tell my baby father,
Speaker 1: I'll tell Rome this all the time. I used to
Speaker 1: tell him this all the time. He is no only
Speaker 1: for me to tell him this now. I used to
Speaker 1: have to tell him all the time. You know, all
Speaker 1: that cheat and you're doing on your significant other or
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, that is making you insecure as well, because
Speaker 1: if you can do this to a person that you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship and that you love so much and
Speaker 1: you have no reason to cheat. If you can do that,
Speaker 1: you're always gonna think it's going to be done to
Speaker 1: you because you can do it perfectly fine, and some
Speaker 1: people will never see it that way. But people bring
Speaker 1: in securities on themselves a lot of times, not just others.
Speaker 1: You can cause insecurity within yourself yourself because it's something
Speaker 1: that he was always looking for. My son's father was
Speaker 1: always looking for something. And he could love you, and
Speaker 1: you could be most loyal to him, in love with him,
Speaker 1: be there, has every beck and call, everything, do everything right,
Speaker 1: and he'll still go cheat. He doesn't feel complete. It's
Speaker 1: not the girl, just like in your situation. It was
Speaker 1: never the girl or in previous relationships. She said, you
Speaker 1: used to be really bad cheater and those relationships. It
Speaker 1: couldn't been the other girls. It was you who did it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you are insecure because of the things that you've
Speaker 1: done to other people. It's true. It happens in marriages,
Speaker 1: not even just relationships and friendships. I had a friend
Speaker 1: who was always losing her friends all the time. It
Speaker 1: was how she was treating her friends. You only want
Speaker 1: to use them when it's convenient for you. You only
Speaker 1: want to be around certain girls to talk about your
Speaker 1: other friends. The only one you know, she was very
Speaker 1: toxic and messy and friendships. That's why we're not friends anymore.
Speaker 1: And she had to see I bought it to her
Speaker 1: attention that it's not everybody else, it's you. The common
Speaker 1: denominator is always you. You're always losing people. It's you,
Speaker 1: all right. You can take advice a r B, A
Speaker 1: stop dating, work on yourself, because you're always gonna have
Speaker 1: this problem if you don't recognize it. That's the answer
Speaker 1: to your question. But that's totally up to you. That
Speaker 1: starts with you. You have to realize that you're insecure
Speaker 1: because of yourself, because of the things that you've done.
Speaker 1: So that's a stop dating. B sit down with her
Speaker 1: and have this conversation with her. If you haven't already yet,
Speaker 1: tell little work with you, because sometimes you'll have that person,
Speaker 1: depending on who you're with it they love you enough,
Speaker 1: they'll help you get through your insecurities. They'll help you
Speaker 1: become better as a person. They'll help you build a
Speaker 1: solid foundation. That is where solidarity comes from. Being able
Speaker 1: to be your girlfriend's friend, being able to be your
Speaker 1: boyfriend's friend, because you know, that's the foundation the friendship.
Speaker 1: You can't just jump from strangers too now we're in love. No,
Speaker 1: it has to be a foundation built, Okay, And it's
Speaker 1: not always easy. It's not even easy in my relationship
Speaker 1: right now, my current relationship, me and Daniel are still building,
Speaker 1: just building. Yes the motherfucker from the show. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: we're still building and that ship takes time. So A
Speaker 1: or B check, I can with me baby moving on, Okay,
Speaker 1: So I wanted to write in for this. I was
Speaker 1: with my ex on and off for like three years.
Speaker 1: I've realized recently she's not only a narcissist, but she's
Speaker 1: been using me for my energy, positivity, the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm stable on my own. So I left two things. One,
Speaker 1: she has a son that I've built a bond with
Speaker 1: and honestly loved this child like he's my own, and
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about this aspect on
Speaker 1: our break. And Two, every time we've broken up over
Speaker 1: the years, I've actively tried getting over her, and honestly,
Speaker 1: nobody has been able to fuck me like her. I'm
Speaker 1: moving on and I'm not about to get used now
Speaker 1: that I've seen it, plainly, but it's hard letting go
Speaker 1: of that fire as sex. You can leave my name out,
Speaker 1: and I'm from p G County and I'm out in
Speaker 1: Atlanta now, but I'm proud to see how far you've
Speaker 1: come and seeing somebody from back home get on like this,
Speaker 1: even if Baltimore is a little different. It's all love
Speaker 1: to me. Oh, thank you all right. Now. She got
Speaker 1: back to the story eventually, because I was like girl,
Speaker 1: just telling me to damn story, thank you, all right,
Speaker 1: continuing with her story, just to give you some meat
Speaker 1: on the bones. I'm twenty nine and she's thirty one.
Speaker 1: We're both bisexual, but monogamous. When we're together and tested. Also,
Speaker 1: she doesn't live with me. I moved down here from
Speaker 1: the DMV before COVID, and I have my own spot card, job, bills, everything,
Speaker 1: L O L. She's living with her mom and son.
Speaker 1: Her son is nine. I don't judge people for whatever
Speaker 1: situation they're in life. Plus, while we would be together,
Speaker 1: she would cash at me for everything in anything. I
Speaker 1: would go out my way for groceries, gas bills, whatever,
Speaker 1: So it was very hard to notice that she was
Speaker 1: using me at all. Oh but she's very negative about
Speaker 1: herself and life sometimes, and I'm a genuinely positive person,
Speaker 1: so I started connecting the dots and noticing the bullshit.
Speaker 1: There you go. Plus, her mom is slightweight, homophobic, and
Speaker 1: hates me, even though I'm the best partner she's ever
Speaker 1: been with. So that was stress in itself. I know
Speaker 1: this is a lot my apology, but Jess, fix my mess.
Speaker 1: The relationship is over with and I'm done. But I
Speaker 1: think the relationship I have with her son is the
Speaker 1: hardest part. Honestly. Oh man, Now I do understand that.
Speaker 1: I understand it's the relationship with the sun, but it's
Speaker 1: also all that fire ass sex that she was talking
Speaker 1: about that you mentioned frequently throughout that damn passage that
Speaker 1: I just read now. First and foremost, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for congratulating me and supporting me and always just
Speaker 1: being a day one. I thank you, babe. Back to
Speaker 1: your ass. Is so much fire sex out this motherfucker.
Speaker 1: It's so much fire sex. Oh Yeah. What sticks out
Speaker 1: to me the most about this you said that she's
Speaker 1: negative about herself and in life period, that's work that
Speaker 1: she has to do on herself. You did the right thing.
Speaker 1: You picked up and you left. Now that little boy,
Speaker 1: all you can do is pray for him. I still
Speaker 1: would not even encourage that you still try to have
Speaker 1: a bond with him, because then that gives her a
Speaker 1: reason to keep you attached to her. And she could
Speaker 1: very well use the fact that you're so close with
Speaker 1: her son to kind of manipulate you to be with her,
Speaker 1: or to still deal with her, or to still send
Speaker 1: her money and do things for her. Her and her
Speaker 1: mother got to get that together, because honestly, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and say it. The apple don't far
Speaker 1: far from the tree, all right. Yes, she was looking
Speaker 1: for someone to take care of her. Yeah, and she
Speaker 1: just happened to have bomb Plussy and an unbelievably beautiful son. Beautiful.
Speaker 1: I can tell the way you speak of him that
Speaker 1: you do love him, but you have to get over that.
Speaker 1: And I'm very very sorry if it seems like I'm
Speaker 1: being harsh, you know, or in sensitive to your love
Speaker 1: for this baby. No, No, I'm not. What I love
Speaker 1: is that he's nine and he's not three. He understands
Speaker 1: these nine year olds these days. I have a ten
Speaker 1: year old. He understands. Listen, I've been in relationships. Ashton
Speaker 1: has known every goddamn guy. When they leave, ash know
Speaker 1: how to cut it the fun off. Now that is
Speaker 1: not to say that that's right, but what's wrong. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about it. What's wrong with it? I feel, and
Speaker 1: a lot of people may disagree. My son has a
Speaker 1: right to know each and every man I call myself
Speaker 1: being in an official relationship with I don't give a
Speaker 1: funk if it was for relationships, all right. He knew
Speaker 1: a j he knew Chris, he knew Wayne, and he
Speaker 1: knows Daniel. And that is how the fund is gonna be.
Speaker 1: If darn ain't then that got married. Whoever the funk
Speaker 1: I do marry ashe gonna know that one. That's the
Speaker 1: type of bond me and my son have. You will
Speaker 1: know each and every person that your mom calls a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: You will, now, Lord flings, No, you ain't even worth
Speaker 1: come around my son. A fling is just I'm using
Speaker 1: you for one thing, baby, that's see it. But something serious. Yes,
Speaker 1: so a lot of people may disagree, and I'm okay
Speaker 1: with that, but that could be how she is with
Speaker 1: her child, because trust me, who her she is dealing
Speaker 1: with now or after you, her child is going to
Speaker 1: meet them too. So you have to cut that off.
Speaker 1: And the great thing about it is you're not in
Speaker 1: the same city anymore. It should be and I know
Speaker 1: it's easier sending done. It should be a lot easier
Speaker 1: for you because you don't have full access to her.
Speaker 1: You can't just pull up on her and ship. You
Speaker 1: gotta get on the flight and her mom hating you
Speaker 1: and her mom being slightly homophobic. You ain't got to
Speaker 1: deal with that either, Okay, you don't have to deal
Speaker 1: with taking care of someone instead of building and taking
Speaker 1: care of each other, getting that solid work that you
Speaker 1: put in to be a family. I'm sorry, you're just
Speaker 1: gonna have to move on. That's just what it is.
Speaker 1: So basically, to fix your mess, all I'm doing is
Speaker 1: confirming what you already told me. You already got all
Speaker 1: the tools. You laugh, you ain't there, she got the
Speaker 1: best sex. Whatever You're in. Atlanta's a whole bunch of game.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker's running around ready to get fun. Go ahead, take
Speaker 1: your pick ship all I'm fishing to see down there.
Speaker 1: I'm glad as you made it out too, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna end it on that. And just like that, we've
Speaker 1: come to get the end of another carefully Reckless episode
Speaker 1: where justice fixing your mess. Y'all tune in each and
Speaker 1: every Wednesday at seven a m. Also tuned into Reckless Discussions,
Speaker 1: which will air every Wednesday evening only on YouTube seven pm.
Speaker 1: Watch like subscribe, give your feedback if it's anything that
Speaker 1: you want us to talk about on Reckless or anything
Speaker 1: you want me to speak on and carefully Reckless. Say,
Speaker 1: if there's a situation that you didn't even go through,
Speaker 1: but one of your friends have a situation, or somebody
Speaker 1: else that you know has a situation and you want
Speaker 1: to give them advice, write me about it. Everything is
Speaker 1: exclusively anonymous unless you beg me to say your name
Speaker 1: or sending a voice no, because Nigga's gonna to your voice.
Speaker 1: Because it's going on here and I can't disguis it.
Speaker 1: I can help, so send it in and in my
Speaker 1: deepest pan voice. Piece Love Carefully Reckless is a production
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