1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, Oh Ship, And just like that, 3 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless episode. What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. You're gonna 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: jump straight into it because what do I do best? 6 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: I fix y'all mess? Hey, what's up? So? I'm eighteen now, 7 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: but last year I had a friend let's just call 8 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: her A. We were not really that close, but we 9 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: hung out a few times. One night I was at 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: her house, her boyfriend came. She went outside to meet him. 11 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: Keep in mind, it is dark. I didn't see his face, 12 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: but I assumed he was cute by his cologne scent 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: for some reason. Fast forward a few months later, I 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: was at a party and there was this one kid 15 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: there with his parents. He was talking some weird stuff 16 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: and I was laughing. Then this boy walk up and 17 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: I was like, are you into those things? Jokingly? I 18 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: don't remember what we spoke about, but after I remember 19 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: him asking me if I had an Instagram and I 20 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: said yes. He followed me and we talked for a 21 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: good thirty minutes before I got bored and went home. 22 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: I followed him back A couple of days after he 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: texted me and I responded charming as hell, filled with 24 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: sweet talk, and he was so nice, so we started dating. 25 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: After our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like, what 26 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: kind of friend are you? I didn't know what he 27 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: was talking about, so I pretended not to hear that. 28 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: I noticed my friend that we're calling A not texting 29 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: me nor talking to me when we've seen each other. 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: All she do is me mug. A few days later, 31 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: somebody told me that the boy was A's boyfriend. I 32 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: was shocked and stopped talking to him. The only person 33 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: I told was one of my friends from church. She 34 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: would always talk me into dating him, even though we 35 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: both know about him having a girlfriend. I didn't listen 36 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: to her well obviously. One day, as I was watching 37 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: the boys, I g story. I saw him post the 38 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: picture of my friend from church, and I was like, oh, 39 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: when did that happen? Didn't pay it any mind, though. 40 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: He came to my house and stood outside for a 41 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 1: few nights, and I didn't respond until a few nights later. 42 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: I got tired and went out there to him. He 43 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: cried and told me A isn't who he thought she was, 44 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: and no matter what, he's not going back to her. 45 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: I didn't care because I have it to say. That's 46 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: my friend, so I don't care what he says. I 47 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: tried talking to A, but she wouldn't talk to me 48 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: when I called her. Then I saw a video of 49 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: the boy and my friend from church making out. A 50 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: couple of days after I saw A, she looked sick 51 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: and I wanted to ask her if she was okay, 52 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: but she kept walking. Turns out she was pregnant and 53 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: it was by the boy, and there now together until 54 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: this day. She still thinks that I know that it 55 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: was her BF, and still talked to him. We didn't 56 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: even have sex. He did kiss me, though I know 57 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie. That was wrong and I 58 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: was falling for him, But right as I heard that 59 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: was her man, I was gone, that's not me and 60 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 1: I don't care about our friendship no. More so is why? 61 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: So what the funk are you asking me, baby girl? 62 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you wanted to tell me this 63 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: story and the way you told this story. You want 64 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: to pay yourself out to be a better person than 65 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 1: you may have been in this whole ordeal. Now you eighteen, 66 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna break it down to you in terms 67 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: that you can understand. I know you knew that that 68 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: was your home girl's boyfriend. I know because you told 69 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: on yourself and the damn story, little girl. You told 70 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: on yourself right here, you said, after our fourth time 71 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: meeting up, somebody was like, what kind of friend are you? 72 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: And I didn't know what he was talking about, so 73 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: I pretended not to hear. Then I noticed A not 74 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: texting me or talking to me when we're seeing each other. 75 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: All she do was mean mug A few days later, 76 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: somebody told me that was the boy that A was 77 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: going out with. I was shocked, and I stopped talking 78 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: to him. And then you went on and said, the 79 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: only person I told was my friend from church, and 80 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: she would always talk me into dating him, even though 81 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: we knew he had a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her. 82 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: So you told on yourself, baby girl, because you and 83 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: the backstabb and church girl that Beyonce was talking about 84 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: in the Damn Song ran back and told A that 85 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: she was sucking with her. Man A stopped talking to you, 86 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: and then the damn church girl when and started working 87 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 1: with the boyfriend as well. So now the boyfriend then 88 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: had all of y'all and a goddamn frenzy with A 89 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: being first, I'm just call you be, you be, and 90 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: didn't see for the church girl. I don't got time 91 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: for this all, y'all too damn young. Now we got 92 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: A pregnant by this three time and nigg because he 93 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: ain't two time, because it's three of y'all your ass. 94 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 1: You knew that was A's boyfriend, And I'm gonna tell 95 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: you another way that you snitched on your damn self. Baby. 96 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: You remember his cologne that was the same goddamn colone 97 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: had on all four times y'all met up. You ain't 98 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: gonna tell me that you did not know that was 99 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: A's bo a friend. Now, listen, you make mistakes. You're young, 100 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:08,719 Speaker 1: y'all are children. This ship happens with your ages. Okay, 101 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: some ship like this happened to me when I was sixteen. 102 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: I didn't end up pregnant, and neither did the other 103 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: girl who was my friend, who was working with a 104 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 1: guy that I was working with. You know, we were 105 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: in fucking high school. It happened. She's still one of 106 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 1: my good friends till this day. It's just ship that 107 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: you do when you're young. I think you should still 108 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: try to talk to a. I don't think you should 109 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: give up on the friendship, So don't be hitting me 110 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: talking about something. Yeah, I don't care about the friendship 111 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: no more so. Yeah. No, you're and our girl with 112 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: friends and you did her wrong. I think instead of 113 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: trying to get her to respond, you should just apologize 114 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: because you're not taking accountability for what you did, and 115 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: you know you were wrong. And that fucking church girl 116 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: knew she was wrong too. Okay, and I don't even 117 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: mean to be using church and in the A word 118 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 1: in the same sentence, but she knew she was wrong 119 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: as well. But it's starting with you, starts with yourself. 120 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,799 Speaker 1: You can't speak for church girl. Okay, you need to apologize. 121 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: Go in apologizing. I don't care lose your pride. And 122 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: I know it's hard to not be prideful at such 123 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: a young age, because y'all always feel like somebody coming 124 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: at y'all and y'all tough, and and you got to 125 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: prove a point, especially at your little age. Baby, put 126 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: that product side, and even if you don't get your 127 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: friend back, you still owe her a sincere apology. I mean, 128 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: what I'm saying to you, Okay, I mean it. That's it. 129 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 1: You are never to go around that nigga game. That 130 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: is a's that is your friend's boyfriend and now baby father. Okay, 131 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: that's a family now. Whether you like it or not, 132 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: Whether the connection was strong between you and this young 133 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: boy and not, y'a don't know, but no goddamn connections. 134 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: Y'all don't know about that. I ain't gonna say you 135 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: don't know what love is, but you don't know about 136 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: these connect actions that y'all got. No, y'all just a 137 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 1: little horny ask people, little cute horny ass humans running 138 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: around and ship and now Aidan got a damn baby 139 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: and it better be his ship. If she was having 140 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: sex with we just gonna call him D. Yeah, and 141 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: she was having sex with D. She having sex with E, 142 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: F and G. All right, but we're talking about you. 143 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: You have to fix the situation. Even if it's not 144 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: fixed in a sense for y'all are friends, you still 145 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: did something wrong that you need to take accountability for, 146 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: apologize for, and move on. She doesn't want to accept 147 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: you as a friend anymore, that's fine, that's on you. 148 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: She has every reason not to. She had every reason 149 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: to whoop your ass. To be honest with you, but 150 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: I'm not going to encourage fighting because y'all already do it. 151 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: All right, check back in with me, but get yourself 152 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: to gether a girl. There's so many little boys out here. 153 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: Stop dating boys after your friends, all right, that's what 154 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: we call leftovers? Should I ain't that old? I know 155 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: y'all still call him that. Moving on, Hold, pull up. 156 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a 157 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, 158 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: you'll listen. Hey, Jess, Okay, so boom. I've been with 159 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: my girl for five years, so we slid off the top. 160 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: Everything right now is good, no complaints, just regular relationship ship, 161 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: you know. But the problem, I believe is me. I 162 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: have super bad trust issues that it sometimes affects our relationship. 163 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: And I really do love her and plan to be 164 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: with her as long as time takes us. We've dealt 165 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: with flirting type stuff, but nothing serious that would make 166 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: me not trust her. I say I'm the problem because 167 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: before her I used to be a real bad cheater. 168 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: Not proud, but it is what it is. So my 169 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: question to you is, do you think my past actions 170 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: will always affect my trust if you let it always 171 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: affect your trust. Yes, the will. Yes, that's something that 172 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: only you can control. Because I always tell my baby father, 173 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: I'll tell Rome this all the time. I used to 174 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: tell him this all the time. He is no only 175 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: for me to tell him this now. I used to 176 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: have to tell him all the time. You know, all 177 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: that cheat and you're doing on your significant other or 178 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: your girlfriend, that is making you insecure as well, because 179 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: if you can do this to a person that you're 180 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: in a relationship and that you love so much and 181 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: you have no reason to cheat. If you can do that, 182 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: you're always gonna think it's going to be done to 183 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: you because you can do it perfectly fine, and some 184 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: people will never see it that way. But people bring 185 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: in securities on themselves a lot of times, not just others. 186 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: You can cause insecurity within yourself yourself because it's something 187 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: that he was always looking for. My son's father was 188 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: always looking for something. And he could love you, and 189 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: you could be most loyal to him, in love with him, 190 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: be there, has every beck and call, everything, do everything right, 191 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: and he'll still go cheat. He doesn't feel complete. It's 192 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: not the girl, just like in your situation. It was 193 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: never the girl or in previous relationships. She said, you 194 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: used to be really bad cheater and those relationships. It 195 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: couldn't been the other girls. It was you who did it. Okay, 196 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: So you are insecure because of the things that you've 197 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: done to other people. It's true. It happens in marriages, 198 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: not even just relationships and friendships. I had a friend 199 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: who was always losing her friends all the time. It 200 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,679 Speaker 1: was how she was treating her friends. You only want 201 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: to use them when it's convenient for you. You only 202 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: want to be around certain girls to talk about your 203 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 1: other friends. The only one you know, she was very 204 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 1: toxic and messy and friendships. That's why we're not friends anymore. 205 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: And she had to see I bought it to her 206 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: attention that it's not everybody else, it's you. The common 207 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: denominator is always you. You're always losing people. It's you, 208 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 1: all right. You can take advice a r B, A 209 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: stop dating, work on yourself, because you're always gonna have 210 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: this problem if you don't recognize it. That's the answer 211 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: to your question. But that's totally up to you. That 212 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: starts with you. You have to realize that you're insecure 213 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: because of yourself, because of the things that you've done. 214 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: So that's a stop dating. B sit down with her 215 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: and have this conversation with her. If you haven't already yet, 216 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: tell little work with you, because sometimes you'll have that person, 217 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 1: depending on who you're with it they love you enough, 218 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 1: they'll help you get through your insecurities. They'll help you 219 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: become better as a person. They'll help you build a 220 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: solid foundation. That is where solidarity comes from. Being able 221 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: to be your girlfriend's friend, being able to be your 222 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: boyfriend's friend, because you know, that's the foundation the friendship. 223 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: You can't just jump from strangers too now we're in love. No, 224 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,679 Speaker 1: it has to be a foundation built, Okay, And it's 225 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 1: not always easy. It's not even easy in my relationship 226 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: right now, my current relationship, me and Daniel are still building, 227 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: just building. Yes the motherfucker from the show. Yeah, you know, 228 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: we're still building and that ship takes time. So A 229 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: or B check, I can with me baby moving on, Okay, 230 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: So I wanted to write in for this. I was 231 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: with my ex on and off for like three years. 232 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: I've realized recently she's not only a narcissist, but she's 233 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: been using me for my energy, positivity, the fact that 234 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: I'm stable on my own. So I left two things. One, 235 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: she has a son that I've built a bond with 236 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: and honestly loved this child like he's my own, and 237 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about this aspect on 238 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: our break. And Two, every time we've broken up over 239 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: the years, I've actively tried getting over her, and honestly, 240 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: nobody has been able to fuck me like her. I'm 241 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 1: moving on and I'm not about to get used now 242 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 1: that I've seen it, plainly, but it's hard letting go 243 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: of that fire as sex. You can leave my name out, 244 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 1: and I'm from p G County and I'm out in 245 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: Atlanta now, but I'm proud to see how far you've 246 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: come and seeing somebody from back home get on like this, 247 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 1: even if Baltimore is a little different. It's all love 248 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: to me. Oh, thank you all right. Now. She got 249 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: back to the story eventually, because I was like girl, 250 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: just telling me to damn story, thank you, all right, 251 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: continuing with her story, just to give you some meat 252 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: on the bones. I'm twenty nine and she's thirty one. 253 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 1: We're both bisexual, but monogamous. When we're together and tested. Also, 254 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: she doesn't live with me. I moved down here from 255 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: the DMV before COVID, and I have my own spot card, job, bills, everything, 256 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: L O L. She's living with her mom and son. 257 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 1: Her son is nine. I don't judge people for whatever 258 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: situation they're in life. Plus, while we would be together, 259 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 1: she would cash at me for everything in anything. I 260 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: would go out my way for groceries, gas bills, whatever, 261 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: So it was very hard to notice that she was 262 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:40,319 Speaker 1: using me at all. Oh but she's very negative about 263 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: herself and life sometimes, and I'm a genuinely positive person, 264 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 1: so I started connecting the dots and noticing the bullshit. 265 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: There you go. Plus, her mom is slightweight, homophobic, and 266 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 1: hates me, even though I'm the best partner she's ever 267 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 1: been with. So that was stress in itself. I know 268 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: this is a lot my apology, but Jess, fix my mess. 269 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: The relationship is over with and I'm done. But I 270 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: think the relationship I have with her son is the 271 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: hardest part. Honestly. Oh man, Now I do understand that. 272 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: I understand it's the relationship with the sun, but it's 273 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: also all that fire ass sex that she was talking 274 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: about that you mentioned frequently throughout that damn passage that 275 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 1: I just read now. First and foremost, thank you so 276 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: much for congratulating me and supporting me and always just 277 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 1: being a day one. I thank you, babe. Back to 278 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: your ass. Is so much fire sex out this motherfucker. 279 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: It's so much fire sex. Oh Yeah. What sticks out 280 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: to me the most about this you said that she's 281 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: negative about herself and in life period, that's work that 282 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: she has to do on herself. You did the right thing. 283 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: You picked up and you left. Now that little boy, 284 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: all you can do is pray for him. I still 285 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: would not even encourage that you still try to have 286 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: a bond with him, because then that gives her a 287 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: reason to keep you attached to her. And she could 288 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: very well use the fact that you're so close with 289 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: her son to kind of manipulate you to be with her, 290 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: or to still deal with her, or to still send 291 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: her money and do things for her. Her and her 292 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: mother got to get that together, because honestly, I'm just 293 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and say it. The apple don't far 294 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 1: far from the tree, all right. Yes, she was looking 295 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: for someone to take care of her. Yeah, and she 296 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:26,359 Speaker 1: just happened to have bomb Plussy and an unbelievably beautiful son. Beautiful. 297 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: I can tell the way you speak of him that 298 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: you do love him, but you have to get over that. 299 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: And I'm very very sorry if it seems like I'm 300 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 1: being harsh, you know, or in sensitive to your love 301 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: for this baby. No, No, I'm not. What I love 302 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: is that he's nine and he's not three. He understands 303 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: these nine year olds these days. I have a ten 304 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: year old. He understands. Listen, I've been in relationships. Ashton 305 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: has known every goddamn guy. When they leave, ash know 306 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: how to cut it the fun off. Now that is 307 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: not to say that that's right, but what's wrong. Let's 308 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: talk about it. What's wrong with it? I feel, and 309 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: a lot of people may disagree. My son has a 310 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 1: right to know each and every man I call myself 311 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: being in an official relationship with I don't give a 312 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: funk if it was for relationships, all right. He knew 313 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: a j he knew Chris, he knew Wayne, and he 314 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: knows Daniel. And that is how the fund is gonna be. 315 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: If darn ain't then that got married. Whoever the funk 316 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: I do marry ashe gonna know that one. That's the 317 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: type of bond me and my son have. You will 318 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: know each and every person that your mom calls a boyfriend. 319 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: You will, now, Lord flings, No, you ain't even worth 320 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: come around my son. A fling is just I'm using 321 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: you for one thing, baby, that's see it. But something serious. Yes, 322 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: so a lot of people may disagree, and I'm okay 323 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: with that, but that could be how she is with 324 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: her child, because trust me, who her she is dealing 325 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: with now or after you, her child is going to 326 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: meet them too. So you have to cut that off. 327 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: And the great thing about it is you're not in 328 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: the same city anymore. It should be and I know 329 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: it's easier sending done. It should be a lot easier 330 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: for you because you don't have full access to her. 331 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: You can't just pull up on her and ship. You 332 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,880 Speaker 1: gotta get on the flight and her mom hating you 333 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 1: and her mom being slightly homophobic. You ain't got to 334 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: deal with that either, Okay, you don't have to deal 335 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 1: with taking care of someone instead of building and taking 336 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 1: care of each other, getting that solid work that you 337 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 1: put in to be a family. I'm sorry, you're just 338 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 1: gonna have to move on. That's just what it is. 339 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: So basically, to fix your mess, all I'm doing is 340 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: confirming what you already told me. You already got all 341 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: the tools. You laugh, you ain't there, she got the 342 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 1: best sex. Whatever You're in. Atlanta's a whole bunch of game. 343 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: Motherfucker's running around ready to get fun. Go ahead, take 344 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: your pick ship all I'm fishing to see down there. 345 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm glad as you made it out too, and I'm 346 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 1: gonna end it on that. And just like that, we've 347 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: come to get the end of another carefully Reckless episode 348 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,199 Speaker 1: where justice fixing your mess. Y'all tune in each and 349 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: every Wednesday at seven a m. Also tuned into Reckless Discussions, 350 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: which will air every Wednesday evening only on YouTube seven pm. 351 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 1: Watch like subscribe, give your feedback if it's anything that 352 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: you want us to talk about on Reckless or anything 353 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: you want me to speak on and carefully Reckless. Say, 354 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: if there's a situation that you didn't even go through, 355 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: but one of your friends have a situation, or somebody 356 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: else that you know has a situation and you want 357 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 1: to give them advice, write me about it. Everything is 358 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 1: exclusively anonymous unless you beg me to say your name 359 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 1: or sending a voice no, because Nigga's gonna to your voice. 360 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: Because it's going on here and I can't disguis it. 361 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: I can help, so send it in and in my 362 00:18:48,359 --> 00:20:03,360 Speaker 1: deepest pan voice. Piece Love Carefully Reckless is a production 363 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more 364 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 365 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.