WEBVTT - Teens: The Power of Vulnerability 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:07.920 Hi everyone, I'm Katie Curic and this is next question. 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:12.080 Do you ever wonder what your teenage kids might be 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:16.680 talking about when you're not listening? Scary right? Well, my 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:19.960 guests today are the host of a very popular gen 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:26.119 Z podcast called Teenager Therapy, gyel Atour, Kayla Suarez and 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:30.280 Thomas fam These kids, and I do mean kids, are 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:34.000 just nineteen years old, but they are wise beyond their 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:40.520 years and you're going to soon hear why they I guess, Gyles, 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:43.400 since you're more of a flaky person, how do you 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:45.720 feel when other people flake on you? It's almost as 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:48.760 soon as I make the decision, I think I regret this. 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:53.320 If you think you know teens, think again. Their podcast 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:58.560 is funny, honest, instructive, real, but most of all vulnerable. 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:06.920 Today we're talking about talks, Bottoms, matthewinity, femininity, and the 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:13.280 endless pain and struggle of finding yourself when gay. By now, 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.880 we've all heard about the mental health crisis affecting so 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:20.800 many teenagers. My guest today have become a mirror for 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.520 other teens, and that's helping all of them cope by 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.959 making them feel less alone. By the way, if you 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.399 want to get Smarter every morning with a breakdown of 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.679 the news and fascinating takes on health and wellness and 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:39.000 pop culture. Sign up for our daily newsletter, Wake Up 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:43.200 Call by going to katiecurreic dot com. Very high tech 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:51.520 operation here I can see. So. One of the things 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:56.400 I love about teenager therapy is it's really not therapy, 0:01:56.480 --> 0:02:01.440 and you're not therapists. You're some friends sitting around talking 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:05.520 about a lot of different things. So tell me how 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:09.919 that in and of itself is therapeutic to listen to, guy, 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:13.600 I want it. You start well. Actually, I think at 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.680 first we didn't realize what could make us so interesting 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:19.240 to listen to. That was one of our biggest words, 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:21.679 and I think we still feel that insecurity of we're 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:24.240 not doing anything special. We really are just sitting down 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:26.720 and saying, Hey, what do we want to talk about today? 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:30.080 And then we talk about it pretty messily. Sometimes we 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.880 go off track, or we go back, or we go 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.520 all over the place, And I realize, I think what 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.800 makes us sell therapeutic for our listeners is that we 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.640 have universal issues. At the end of the day, I 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.760 think the emotions are the same. We all have that 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.160 shared humanity in that aspect and I think there's so 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:50.160 much comfort in knowing that, Okay, they're going through that 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:52.120 as well, they're talking about it, they're dealing with it. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:55.680 It's just comforting. And how do you all decide, Kaylea, 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:59.519 what you all are going to talk about? It's usually 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:02.560 just based on what's going on in our lives. Well, 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:05.720 you all have done something like two thirty episodes, right 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.240 What started as kind of a fun exercise has now 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:12.840 turned into a really, you know, a big deal, a 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:16.640 podcast that gets a lot of downloads. I think the 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.880 topics that our audience loves the most is whenever we 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:25.080 talk about relationships, friend group drama and what else is 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:27.519 a good one? Guys, sex, drugs and rock and roll 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:34.200 minus the rock and roll. But we did just talk 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.880 about drugs, and I think our listeners are really good 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.880 enjoy it. It's kind of interesting how because we grow up, 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:42.960 we have new experience, it's more to talk about. But 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:46.920 also there's just always some little tiny switch in the 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:49.200 emotion we feel or the way we approached it that's 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.000 different from the way we would have even just a 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:54.360 year ago. So documenting that sometimes means even if we 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:57.360 cover the same topic, it's a totally new perspective, right, 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.280 and it feels like the world is changing so quickly late, 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.600 you know, I imagine you all must talk a lot 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:07.880 about social media and the pressures that come from seeing 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:13.040 people quote unquote live their best life. As Oprah would say, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.040 I think with that, I know that I try to 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.919 limit myself. I mean, even with the podcast, you know, 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:21.800 episodes air or things are posted on TikTok, I just 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.520 don't like to look at it. I actively appoint it. Actually, 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:27.960 just because social media plays such a huge role now, 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.039 and I mean especially TikTok. Even myself I fall into 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.400 the trap of I see these teenagers my age doing 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:39.360 these big grand things. They're traveling, and I think to myself, like, oh, 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:43.160 I'm just in school right now, you know. But again, 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:47.120 I'm just reminding myself that not everything is as it 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.240 seems on screen. We'll talk a little more about kind 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:54.159 of gen z and some of their concerns and the 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:58.120 rap they get that might not always be accurate. But 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.880 but let's go back to the kind of logistics of 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:04.960 doing this podcast. It started with five people, right, take 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.640 me back to the genesis of this, Thomas, how did 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.479 it happen? So it was actually Guyle's idea, and he 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:17.040 was listening to Casey Nisat's Couples Therapy, and he got 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.719 really inspired by it because it was a married couple, 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.039 yet he was able to relate to them on such 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:26.359 like a deeper level than he had anticipated. And he 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.719 wanted the same thing but for teenagers, and he got 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:32.440 five of his friends. The idea that I pitched to 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:35.160 them was, I think it'd be interesting to be able 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.360 to hear what other teams are going through. And that 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.760 was what year and you were how old? So we 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.480 were fifteen years old. I was fifteen, so was everyone else. 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:47.159 We were not necessarily all friends with each other, but 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.400 we knew of each other, and you know, the members 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:53.159 were interconnected in different ways. And so I asked my friends, 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.479 do you want to be part of it? They say yes? 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:57.719 And the first episode was published in like September eighteen, 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:03.160 twenty eighteen. And what was the first podcast about? Do 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:07.359 you remember? It was about our friends? We kind of 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.400 It was so funny because all we did was we 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.840 just put a camera with a microphone in the middle, 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.320 and then we said, you sit on a bed. We did, 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.400 we did, We sat on a bed and we didn't 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:19.320 fit and so it was always so hot in the room, 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.919 we were sweating. It was after school. We were also tired. 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:28.600 Pretty low tech tech. Yeah, it's still very low tech, right. 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.880 I mean, that's part of the ethos of the podcast 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:36.400 is really friends sitting around our being in somebody's bedroom, 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:39.640 and that's kind of the ritual. And then you all 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.560 have dinner together, I know, after every podcast, which is 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:45.279 so nice. And and do you think the vibe would 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.960 totally change if it was in a studio like we're 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:51.880 sitting in right now. I feel like it would definitely. 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.960 I think you'd be a lot cooler, Kayla, in terms 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.839 of temperature. The set of the bedroom just let's us 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:02.560 very intimate, and because it's like a place that it's 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:04.840 just his room, so we are all comforted, so it's 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.600 always your room to room. Yeah. And it's back at 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.080 home too in Anaheim, So it's just it all feels 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.440 very natural. When you were putting together the quote unquote 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:17.560 cast Guy Elf for the podcast, did you intentionally seek 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:22.640 people with different life experiences? I'm curious sort of how 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:26.160 you thought about representation when you were putting it together, right, 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.120 I Mean I was thinking about it at the level 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.560 that a fifteen year old would possibly you'd expect to 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.000 think about it, right, I wasn't going into diversity training. 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.880 I guess I'm expecting a lot from you, But I 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:40.600 mean I do remember being like, well, we do want 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:42.840 different perspectives, and Thomas was like, yeah, we should have 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.600 different sexis, like we need a girl perspective. I was like, oh, yeah, 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:49.280 we should do that, and we were like okay, Like Thomas, 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:51.160 you and me were gay, we need straight people, we 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:54.200 need a straight man perspective, and we're like, okay, let's 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:56.080 get a girl too. And so we just kind of 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:59.400 naturally assembled into a relatively diverse cast because we all 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:03.040 actually have pretty different personalities. And I think it's important 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:07.360 for listeners to kind of hear themselves in various stories 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:11.560 and in various people you know and life experiences. I'm 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.480 sure that some listeners relate more to Caleb than they 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:18.160 do to you, or gay listeners relate to you guys, 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:22.200 and probably have some of the same questions or experiences 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.520 as you two have. And I think another aspect of 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:28.720 that is because I didn't envision it to go to 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.319 where we are now, right, Were you surprised Klein when 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:36.800 it really took off. I mean, you guys had you know, 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:41.320 it grew pretty quickly. Now you have how many downloads 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.720 do you get per episode? I'm kind of jealous, actually, 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:49.080 around like forty five thousand dollars per episode. Yeah, it's 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.480 like the podcast I've told over the last four years, 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:54.959 I've gotten like over like twelve million starts, and it's 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:58.520 been wild. How big it is? I bet it's kind 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.920 of shocking, right, Yeah. I think it's kind of surprises 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.000 people because if you go to our YouTube channel that 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:05.200 we don't use very much, it has maybe like a 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.760 couple thousand subscribers, and people like, oh, that's a little podcast. 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:09.959 Because podcasts it's all behind the scenes. So where I 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.559 told them, like how big it actually is, I think 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:16.120 it catches people off guard. How has the podcast evolved? 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.080 Because it's gone from five hosts to three hosts. You 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:24.560 all are now twenty, right, or almost five years ago, 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:30.000 so you've matured and grown, and I'm curious how you've 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:33.480 seen it evolved through the years. I feel that it's 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:37.400 very much the same tone, but it's just us who's 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:42.080 changing in us giving more mature opinions. Sometimes I think 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:46.280 back to when we first started and the opinions that 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:48.840 we were just spitting out when we were fifteen years old. 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:51.760 It just it pains me to know that it's out 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:53.680 there because I don't know what I was saying, and 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:57.440 it probably was not great advice or anything. But I 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:01.120 think that's kind of what is so beautiful about this 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.360 podcast is that it kind of represents and shows how 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.959 much we have grown throughout the years, and it really 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.480 is a coming of age story told in real time. 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:12.960 Where are you in school? Again? Usc? Both of you 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:21.200 go Trojans? So how do you do it if you're 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.040 both in college? I mean, how do you find this 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:27.280 regular time? And do you still do it in your bedroom? Thomas? Yes, 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:30.720 I think going home just made sense for us. My 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:34.160 bedroom has already been set up for that way. Yeah. 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:37.280 I think the college thing was not as big of 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:40.319 an obstacle as we expected it to be, and we 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.360 have just been able to share so much about the 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:47.600 whole transition from high school to college and our college experiences. Guyelle, 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:51.760 why aren't you in school? Yeah? So, how's a big decision? 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:55.000 I suppose? I mean I decided not to go to college, Whine, 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.319 So it was a smart guy, I can tell. And also, 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:02.800 this really good for your college applet it was. It 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.000 really did a lot for my application because it's so 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:08.000 funny because my plan was when I was in high school, 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:09.480 I was like, I want to create something that's a 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:12.160 really big deal, so I don't have to focus on 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:13.959 grades as much and I could just let the work 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.120 speak for myself and hopefully colleges will see that. So 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:19.440 I wanted to go to college, and when college decisions 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:21.720 came around, the college that I was accepted to was 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.000 UC Berkeley, which is in the Bay Area. Right, that's 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:28.719 a damn good school. It is. It is hard to 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.080 get into, it isn't it. Yeah, it's pretty hard to 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:32.600 get into. So I was surprised. I mean, the plan 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.160 works because my grades were not like Berkeley standards. I 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.400 wasn't four point I was like three point three, three 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:40.319 point five bees regular classes. But I guess they loved 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.559 the work that I was doing. And at the time, 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.840 I was just thinking, well, if I go to school, 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:46.360 how am I going to manage? Am I going to 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:50.079 be handling that well? And so I thought maybe I 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:53.080 just should not go because there's a momentum happening with 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.720 the podcast. It was growing really quickly, and I thought 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.360 do I really want to go to school for four years, 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:01.439 possibly pause the podcast to slow it down to focus 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.080 on school, and then come back and have to restart 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.199 this momentum. And so I made the decision. I think 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.960 I just want to focus on doing what I already do. 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:11.760 I I was going to go to school for marketing 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:14.120 and business, and I'm like, I already got the hang 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.079 of it somewhat. I mean, the work speaks for itself. 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.840 And so decided not to go to school focus on 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:22.320 the podcast. And so that's been my full time job 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.959 until now until now, meaning well now I also am 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.360 like working on funny enough. The next step for me 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.199 is creating a podcast network, my own startup along with Kayla. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.040 So now I guess I just fell into the career podcasting, 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.000 and so I started with teenager Therapy, but now I 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.439 want to make even more and kind of give birth 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.120 to a lot of baby podcasts that and do you 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:47.120 want them all to be targeted to teenagers or are 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:51.160 you open to other things? So it's called Astro Studios, 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:55.120 and it's a gen z podcast network that's focused on 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:58.360 developing and producing podcasts for young people that are mostly 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:01.560 focused around self help and helping teams answer the question 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.920 what are others going through? It's the same thesis of 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.520 teenage of therapy that if you share the experiences of 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:09.079 real people, real people want to listen. And that's all 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.400 really what podcasts can be. And so it's those comforting 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:14.000 conversations that we really want to capture. Well, when we 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.720 come back, we're going to talk about gen z of 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.600 which you are apart and try to figure out what's 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:26.480 going on with them. That's right after this. I never 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:31.640 do that, but I just thought it was a good segue, 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:37.680 and usually segues don't present themselves point starting. I'm just 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.720 starting the college process, but like there's a lot of 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:43.559 like stigma and about like the acceptance rates and the 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.439 extracurriculars needed, and it's like I almost don't want to 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.920 tell people where I'm applying because there's like all this judgment. 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:53.400 I'm a couple of friends of mine who don't see 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:54.760 like colleges are right fit for them, and they will 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.080 like to go to trade school. But there's certain people 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.840 that will always get you because you know, they'll think 0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:01.480 that the cause that they are going to is this 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:09.240 better than yours? More? After the break, are you or 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:13.480 a loved one battling cancer. 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Like the fact that 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:24.480 we had whole years and a half of not seeing 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.760 anyone or doing anything, and how we're supposed to like 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:32.720 We're expected to be fully like social and not so 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:40.840 awkward after and I feel like unfair I guess okay, 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:45.400 so we are back with the hosts of Teenager Therapy. 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:50.720 Let's talk about the generation that's listening to this podcast. 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.240 I think a lot of people are really worried about teenagers. 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.680 It's hard to be a teenager today. What are some 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:03.560 of the things that teas are really struggling with. Well, 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.240 I mean, you've heard the US search in general sound 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:08.560 the alarm on the youth mental health crisis, and it 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.720 seems like, for one, teams are lonely. You know, people 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:13.680 are trying to figure out why. What could be the causes? 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.080 It's smartphones? Is that the apps on the smartphones? What 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.640 isn't I mean, if you look at the data, there's 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:22.600 clearly an issue. And I think what we see just 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:27.640 from a personal experience is there's this disconnect from communities. 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:30.800 But I think something that's a little bit more interesting 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:33.040 to me is there's a lot more pressure to be 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.920 this perfect person. And I think it's really weighing heavily 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:40.000 on a lot of young adults because you have things 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:43.240 like cancel Culture or Twitter, and you know, these media 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.840 storms when you make any sort of mistake that I 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.080 think a lot of young people are feeling a lot 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.680 of pressure to do as much as possible be a 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:55.200 perfect activist or a perfect citizen, a perfect human, perfect student, 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.520 exactly a perfect student, and it's just not possible, right, 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.000 And so I think a big problem that I see 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.560 is we all need to give ourselves a little bit 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:07.960 more grace and a little bit more forgiveness and learned 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.520 that we're all going through these issues and we're figuring 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:12.719 out a little by little. And so when you go 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:17.440 on social media and see people being attacked for different 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.400 aspects that you might have not known, judge, it puts 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.119 a lot of pressure. And it also seems, Kayla, like 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:26.440 there's so much built in competition. I mean, the world 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:30.880 is competitive place already, but when you have these very 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:38.159 concrete ways to weigh your quote unquote popularity through likes 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:42.720 and through follows and things like that, is that part 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.480 of it or what do you think is bugging gen Z? 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.000 I would say it's a part of it. I mean, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.159 it depends on the person that you're talking to. But 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.159 I think it's just because the growing popularity of social media. 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:56.439 You know, I feel like an ab normal amount of 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.320 teams are now online, starting as young from like thirteen, 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:02.520 maybe even twelve or ten, which is so crazy to 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.560 think about. But you just initially start social media for 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.000 the fun of it, but then you quickly realize that, oh, 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:11.119 a lot of people are getting likes doing this, or 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:13.000 they're getting a lot of likes doing that, and so 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:18.520 it's just following trends in a way to gain popularity 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.040 or likes or anything like that. And they're also being 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:24.320 exposed to so much so young. Exactly, it's really scary. 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.040 And I think that goes for a lot of things 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.840 where teenagers just don't know who to go to for 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.560 their problems. You know. Of course there's the classic answer 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.679 of you know, see a therapist or go to a doctor, 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.960 but a lot of the times that's just not accessible 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:41.880 or it's not a conversation that you just casually bring 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.440 up with your parents, and a lot of people honestly 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:48.520 can't afford it. Exactly. Yeah, one other issue. So the 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:51.000 answer isn't as simple as just quot to therapy. That's right, right, 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:52.920 it starts. I mean it's such a fundamental issue that 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.360 one of loneliness, and there's one we're lacking community. I mean, 0:18:56.520 --> 0:18:59.119 you have these big giant cities that feel empty, you 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.680 feel devoid of community, and genuine interaction. You have dating 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:05.920 apps that encourage people to only talk to people online, 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.919 and you see people be more and more opposed to 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:14.280 spontaneous in person connection and conversation. Also, there's something about 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:19.520 it where swipe swipe, swipe swipe, It makes people feel 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:26.760 so disposable, right, And there's something about that mentality that 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:30.440 I think can then seep into real life. When you're 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:33.040 on those dating apps, you're constantly looking for the next 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.159 best thing, right. You know, you can never settle on 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:38.000 just one person, because you're like, what if a few 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:41.159 more swipes and I meet somebody even prettier or you know, 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:44.360 somebody even better. And it's always that mindset that then 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.919 translates into your real life where you just aren't happy 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:51.480 with what you're seeing in person, you never satisfy. The 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:56.679 thing of a quality that gen Z doesn't and my 0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:01.120 eyes feels lacking, is the ability to work on more 0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:04.040 relationships and not throw them away so easily. I think 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.159 you know, at times the wrong advice can get passed 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:10.520 around of protecting your peace and not letting anyone disturb 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:13.840 in anyone that doesn't serve you, you kind of disregard them. 0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:16.159 But I think a lot of the fulfilling relationships do 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:18.560 come from putting in the work to talk about the issues, 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:21.120 which I think is why our message resonates, because we 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:24.840 just really want to show people vulnerability and talking about 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.680 your issues openly is what creates meaningful connections. They're not 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:32.359 just this instant chemistry tied with that work. I mean, 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.240 it takes work. What have you noticed, Thomas that you're 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:41.200 quiet over there about. Yeah, Well, it's hard to ever 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:43.840 feel satisfied and happy with your life if you see 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:47.480 people your age already doing the things you want to 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.280 and it makes you feel bad. It makes you feel 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:54.800 kind of hopeless. But I also want to acknowledge that 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:57.760 social media has done a lot of good for gen 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:00.920 Z as well. It has, I feel like, made us 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:04.080 feel very educated on a lot of topics that we 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:07.960 otherwise would not have known, and it's a way for 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:10.320 us to connect. I mean, even just doing this podcast 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:13.880 that wouldn't have been possible without social media. Yeah. I mean, 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:16.840 it's the ultimate double edged sword a thing because there 0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:20.520 are so many good things and so many terribly destructive 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.640 things as well that come with it. And I think 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:29.040 the pandemic only exacerbated what was already percolating in terms 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:33.720 of the lack of community and the social isolation that 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:36.080 a lot of people are experiencing. You know, it's interesting 0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:40.160 they're not having these real life experiences because they're living 0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:43.720 so much of their lives virtually. Yeah. Yeah, I mean 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:46.240 that's a concern too, because I don't think there are 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:50.040 enough spaces fourteens together and have the sense of community 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:53.440 that we want to build and encourage, and so that's 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:55.719 a big issue. Something that I actually feel very passionate 0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:58.080 about is creating more third spaces that are in school 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.920 or work where as a young adult, as an adolescent, 0:22:00.920 --> 0:22:02.359 you could go and hang out with your friends and 0:22:02.440 --> 0:22:04.640 not be fine for loitering or for not being where 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.840 you're supposed to be. So if your friends don't have houses, 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:09.280 where do you and your friends go? Maybe you go 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:11.440 to a park, but then it's cold, so you'd rather 0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:13.200 just stay inside and interact on we used to go 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:16.560 you see malls or dad. I mean, there's not much 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:18.240 to do. It just feels like where do you go 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:21.040 where you just want to feel at peace? Right? Like 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:23.600 a big dream of mine is where do teenagers go 0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:26.479 when they're lonely? I mean, if you don't have people 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:30.239 in your school that you enjoy. If you don't have 0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:31.760 people at home that you enjoy, if you don't have 0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:33.680 any spaces that you enjoy, where do you go to 0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:35.480 get that sense of connection or even just to feel 0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:37.840 at peace, because how do you escape it all in 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:39.399