WEBVTT - The Karol Markowicz Show: Finding Freedom and Authenticity in Committed Relationships 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:09.440 Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:14.000 Early January is the most popular time of the year 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.599 for single people to join an online dating site. I 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:19.720 mean it makes sense, right. They made it through the 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:23.919 holidays with every annoying relative asking them when they plan 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.680 to get married, and this is their time to take 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.680 the bull by the horns and decide to find their person. 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:33.320 New Year, New ye, and for many people that means 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:36.520 a new mate. So what's interesting about this, I think 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:40.600 is that it's usually an influx of men hitting these 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.479 sites at this time of the year. Now, why is 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.839 that surprising? It's because popular culture makes it seem as 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.720 if men are holding off from getting into relationships as 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:54.800 long as they can, and them joining dating sites shows 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.959 that maybe that's not so. The idea that men can 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.840 wait indefinitely to get me married or have children is 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:04.320 really a lie, and I think that it's one that 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:09.440 really needs exposing. Yes, men can have children into old age, 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.520 but why would they want to. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:13.279 For a long time, men. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:17.000 Were told that their dating and mating life could continue indefinitely. 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:20.479 I mean, Hollywood does it all the time, right. Steve 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:24.119 Martin became a first time dad at sixty seven. Rod 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.720 Stewart had kids in his sixties. Larry King Woody Allen 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.440 list of sixty plus year old dad's goes on and on. 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.160 But as I like to tell my single male friends, 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:38.360 you're not Rod Stewart. You're not going to have a 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.640 team of people to help you raise your kids. You're 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:44.920 going to get mistaken for the kid's grandpa a lot, 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.760 and it won't feel great. You can't wear leather pants 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.919 and talking a British accent. It's just not the same. 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:56.680 Even setting aside the growing concerns from the medical community 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:00.480 that a father's age can factor into various issues child 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:05.240 may have, including learning disabilities. Only people without children could 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:08.639 imagine that there's anything fun about dealing with a crying 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.960 newborn when you're sixty or going to a high school 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:15.840 graduation when you're nearing eighty. A few years ago, there 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:19.959 was this groundbreaking study called the Grant Study out of Harvard, 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:25.200 which was conducted over seventy five years, and it looked 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:29.919 into male happiness. What it found was that what makes 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:34.320 men happy is not very complicated and corny as it 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:38.160 may sound. Love is the most important factor in a 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:42.120 happy life for a man. Look love doesn't have to 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:46.080 mean marriage and children. But the study did find that 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:50.639 the happiest men had meaningful relationships, often yes with their 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.000 wives and children. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.640 So that means that while short. 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.640 Lived affairs found you know, when you're swiping right on 0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:03.000 these apps can be exciting, they probably won't ultimately lead. 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:03.840 To happiness for you. 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:08.400 The fact that relationships lead to happiness shouldn't be surprising, 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:12.360 but somehow still is because the line sold to men, 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.960 especially alpha men who have these options, you know when 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:19.240 it comes to choosing women, is that settling down is 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:23.240 for suckers. But more men are finding out that they 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:27.040 were suckers for believing that and waiting. It also seems 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:30.440 like men don't know who they're supposed to be anymore. 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:33.480 You know. While they get a lot of specific advice 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:37.440 during different stages of their lives, perhaps maybe even more 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:40.760 than women do, there's no longer sense of a big 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.240 picture for men to live up to, you know. For example, 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:48.320 women are encouraged to have it all, which look is 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:52.400 a ridiculous goal, but it's a goal. Nevertheless. Women are 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:57.480 told to aim for family, career, a perfect body, strong friendships, 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:01.000 the whole package. Men are told to put off family, 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:03.760 until they have a career, as if these two things 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:05.200 couldn't possibly. 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:06.000 Run in parallel. 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:10.840 Meanwhile, women outpace men at colleges, but don't seem to 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:15.000 have that same pressure to have everything figured out before 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.760 they look for a commitment. My number one podcast listener, 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:22.440 my husband says that I've talked about the success sequence 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:25.159 too much on here, but to sum it up just 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.520 one more time, if you finish high school, get married, 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.040 and have kids in that specific order, your chance of 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:35.679 success in life increases no matter where you got started 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:40.000 in life. For a lot of people men specifically, marriage 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:43.560 and family isn't discussed as part of the wider picture 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.240 of what makes a successful life. But men don't want 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:49.800 to be alone any more than women do, and the 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:53.279 fact is that boys should be told that a large 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:57.279 part of their happiness puzzle will include a relationship. Tell 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:01.400 your children, specifically, tell your sons. Coming up next in 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:08.800 interview with Emma Joe Morris. Join us after the break, Hi, 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:12.080 and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:16.080 My guest today is Emma Joe Morris. Emma Joe is 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:20.440 politics editor and columnist at Breitbart and was previously Deputy 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:22.440 Politics editor at The New York Post. 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:24.479 Thanks so much for coming on, Emma Joe. 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.520 Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here. 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.480 I'm super excited to have you be here. I usually 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.400 asked this question later on in the show. 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.640 But you're pretty. 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:38.640 Young, obviously, and already crazy accomplished. You're in a happy marriage, 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:41.800 and you're just generally very very cool. 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:43.440 Do you feel like you've made it? 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:49.320 Yeah, thank you so much, and thanks to Hiley of 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.960 me and especially the young. 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.599 I'll tell the story about how you asked waffle house, 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.520 you know, if they're maple syrup? Was actual maple syrup 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:58.960 later on in the episode, ye. 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:07.520 Were still friends. But yeah, so I guess I'm relatively young, 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.120 and i do feel like I've made it, and I'm 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.640 glad that you touched on, like you name the things 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.440 that you did, because obviously I've had a great career. 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.000 I've had a crazy career and it's been super exciting 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:20.920 and eventful and thank god accomplished. You know, I've been 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:24.760 really lucky. But I think that the metric have made it. 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:28.839 When I thought about that question is like, like having 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:33.000 a happy marriage is the way, you know, and I 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:38.080 think that that is so underrated in society lately, especially 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.479 like people in my generation and around my age who 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:46.039 were like think that it's like limiting or tying them down, 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:48.159 or taking away some sort of freedom or taking away 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.880 some sort of agency from them, And I found the 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.159 exact opposite that I became so much more myself when 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:57.400 I was in a serious relationship and getting married and 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:00.880 post being married, like and and you know, you could 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.560 be totally open with somebody and there's no like hiding 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.159 and no like bullshit, and like it's just that's that's 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:09.960 my metric. I've made it. And thank god, you know 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:13.400 I have I have that, and that's that's definitely it. 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:14.160 I love that. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.600 And actually I love the story of how you met 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:20.360 your wife, though it's definitely going to enrage people who spend. 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.680 Like years swiping on the apps. 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.360 She was your first match, right, Yeah, that's right. 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.480 I know it's very annoying for all of our parks 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:30.680 to listen to this, but yeah, that's it. Like I 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:34.760 went into the apps thinking about like my so, I 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:38.360 lived in New York for some years before I started dating, Like, 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.080 I don't know, I was just kind of like I 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:43.320 was pretty in the closet and like, I just was 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:45.880 freaked out by the whole thing in general, and it 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:49.360 was felt overwhelming. And my work I was in at 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.160 Hannity at the time, I was at Fox, and so 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:54.160 my schedule was like two to eleven, and like, I 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.280 just my social life was weird and I just didn't 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.080 want to get into it. And so then I finally 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.600 down and app and I'd been listening to my friend's 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:05.200 horror stories the time, right, and it's always like a 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:08.360 thousand dates and there's a thousand people and it never 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:13.440 goes anywhere, and it's horrible and everybody is alone, and 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.960 and I obviously wanted a better result. So I went 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.600 into it with kind of a strategy, which was I 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:24.080 am going to see one person at a time and 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:28.320 obviously not like thinking that anything is going to be serious, 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.880 you know all that, but just like I'm not going 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.360 to see multiple people at once while all of them 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:36.199 are not serious. So that was that was my strategy 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:40.320 with it. So I opened a chat with my wife 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:44.200 now and what we were talking about is kind of funny, 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:46.240 you know, because I also wasn't like a hey, what's 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.760 up person, you know. I tried to find something on 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.000 her profile that I thought it was interesting to ask 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:55.800 her about it. She's an artist and she is completely clean, 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:59.120 completely sober, no smoking, no cigarettes, no drugs, no nothing, 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.320 no alcohol, nothing, And it said that she was in 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.920 art school at the time, and so I thought that 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.480 was weird. So I messaged her and I said, what 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.880 kind of artist has no vices? And that was how 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:11.719 I w in the conversation, she thought that was kind 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.679 of interesting, and we got into a conversation about her religion, 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.240 which I share, and anyway it was. It was a 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.400 good conversation and she asked to have lunch, and so 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.240 I deleted the app because. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:22.719 Wow, I'm done here. 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:23.040 We are. 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:26.400 Well, no, not necessarily, I didn't think. I didn't think. 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:29.160 I didn't I hadn't even met her. But I had 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.360 vow to myself that I wasn't going to be one 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:34.480 of those people who is like onto the next thing 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.640 before they've even met the person or before they got 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.800 to know them. So I set up a lunch like 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:41.760 a time to have lunch with her, and then I 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.280 deleted the app and I married her. 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:45.400 I love it. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:47.600 How old were you It's twenty six? 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:51.160 Oh my gosh, five, I just turned twenty five when 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:51.840 you got married. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.080 Yeah, oh no, got when I met her, I had 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.320 just bie. When I got married, I had just turned 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:56.760 twenty eight. 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:00.320 Wow, amazing, that's I love it. 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.320 So you write about serious. 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.200 Topics, but you do it in a really funny way, 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.440 and it sounds like that's kind of the approach that 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:07.160 you use to. 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:09.040 Woo your wife as well. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.239 You wrote about spending the day with an illegal immigrant 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.400 that that story really sticks out in my mind. It 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:17.480 was like a real serious, well reported story. And then 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.559 at the end he sends you a picture of his 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.600 penis and it just has like a really you know, 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.040 hilarious kind of twist to it. But you just you 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.240 just covered it in such a great way. And then 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.640 recently you wrote about your drunken lunch with George Santos, 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:34.679 which I also thought was very serious but hilarious and 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.480 just very well done. I think being funny is really 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.760 important to get people to listen to you. 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:42.640 Do you also think that is that like part of 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:43.360 your philosophy? 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.400 Yes, definitely, and especially like you know, you and me 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:50.319 write about similar things and it's just politics and politics 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:54.040 is so boring and it's so yeah, it can be 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:58.599 so niche too. Like you know, you write for like junkies, 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:00.679 and I think. 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:05.160 That there's you know, and I think, yes, yes, you're 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:11.640 right again, yes drug. 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:15.839 And that's fine and whatever. And I like, I love 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.320 my readers, and many of them are politics, juggies and everything. 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.840 But I also think that there's certain things about our 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.440 medium that you can get through to so many people, 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.240 more people and people who don't agree with you, or 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.840 people who don't even care about politics or whatever, and 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.439 and it's by just being kind of clever and entertaining. 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.080 And so I think that, like you know, at Brightbart, 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:40.800 I mean, and I know that you have this at 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.200 the Post as well, because I work there too. You 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.840 get so much liberty to really express yourself how you want. 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.560 And obviously, as long as you're making some sort of 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.160 coherent point that has, like you know, a reason for 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:54.640 why you're making it, and you know, evidence for why 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.480 you're saying what you're saying, you can deliver it however 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.160 you want, and you can be clever and creative about 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:03.880 how you do that. So, you know, the illegal story 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.840 was amazing because I have people from all over the 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.920 political spectrum, from New York Magazine to Tugger Carlson Tonight 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:13.560 emailing me being like that was hilarious. That was brilliant. 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.680 And the story was called My Day with a Biden 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:20.360 Migrant And you know, so I'm still seeing what I 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.400 want to say. I'm not sacrificing anything in terms of 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:26.360 being like more bipartisan or more broad in my language 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.480 or my message, but just the way that you deliver 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:32.280 it can be so much more impactful when you can 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.240 get kind of smart about how you're doing that. 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:37.240 And I have fun right right, And I know it 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.600 was a human story, like I thought, you know, you 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.720 didn't make him seem like a monster, who was you know, 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:44.240 just awful. 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:46.680 I thought it was just very well done. 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:49.080 Like we can care about people, but know that this, 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:51.679 you know, what's going on at the border is just wrong. 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:55.000 And I think all of that really came across. So 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:57.040 you seem like you're having fun in general. 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:58.079 Is that is that true? 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.000 Oh? For sure? Well I don't take life seriously, you 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:05.640 know what I mean. It's like when you kind of 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:07.480 have like, in my opinion, this is where it comes 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.000 from for me, like when you have some sort of 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.960 relationship to God or like something bigger than yourself. You know, 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:15.520 I'm Jewish, so my thing is God. But you know 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.520 if you're not religious, it's still the same thing. It's 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.200 like the universe or something that you stop being so 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:23.720 controlling about everything and you stop taking things so hard, 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.800 and it's like it's fine, Like somebody's taking care of me, 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:29.439 somebody's looking out for you. It's not all about you. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.760 You're not the center of the universe. And it allows 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.640 you to, like, I think, humble yourself a little bit 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.000 and also like have a little bit more fun because 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:37.960 it's like, no, I'm not in total control. I'm not 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.040 gonna make romantice. I'm going to control what I can, 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.320 you know, and then the rest of it is like 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:45.199 enjoy the ride because you get one that's kind of 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:46.080 I approached life. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.240 And that is why I took you to waffle House. 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.280 When we met last year in Dallas for the first time, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.880 Emma Joe said he had never been to waffle House, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:57.400 and I thought that was unacceptable. So we took an 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:00.760 Uber ride and we went to waffle House. And Emma 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:03.280 Joe is Canadian. Is that okay to say? 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:07.200 Can I tell people that Quebec? So if I have 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.080 any any local people from Quebec listening to this, I'm 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:11.040 sorry to offend you. 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.440 By what she said, Well, but no, I think that 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:14.199 they would love that. 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:18.439 Where you just assumed that your local waffle house would have. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:20.480 It was that you called Quebec. 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:28.240 How I see, I apologize. So if she at this 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:29.200 waffle house. 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.920 She looks up at this waitress and asks, do you 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:34.240 have real maple styrup? 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:39.320 And the waitress said no. But Emma, Joe, you know, 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:40.720 I like that she believed. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:42.840 I like that you really you thought that that was 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:47.840 a possibility at your three dollars a waffle spot. It 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:53.160 shows the optimism you have. 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:54.680 Have you been to a waffle house since? 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:54.880 Like? 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:55.920 How how has that. 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.080 Now? It's like one of my favorite restaurants. 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:06.600 In restaurants, I don't know if you know, but there's 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.520 this thing in Florida where maybe that's elsewhere as well, 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.080 but in Florida, you know a hurricane is going to 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.320 be bad when the waffle house closes, it's called like 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:15.800 the waffle House Index. 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:17.320 I think that's how you. 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:18.520 Know, like this is serious. 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.160 This is not just you know, hang out and wait 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:24.360 for the rain to pass. So you know, now that 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.440 you know you can, you can monitor waffle house is 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:31.840 near you. What would you say is our biggest cultural 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:35.720 or societal problem in America and is it solvable. 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.520 Yeah, so, I you know, I just went on this 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.240 kind of rant about how, like, you know, my relationship 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:46.640 is the most important thing to me, and how fulfilling 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.080 it is to be in a happy marriage and a 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:53.520 happy relationship. And I speak more generally because obviously, I 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:55.280 guess you know, not all of your listeners are going 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.200 to be married, but if you have somebody who you're 0:15:57.240 --> 0:16:02.480 committed to, that counts. And I think that there is 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.920 such an epidemic of loneliness in this kind and such 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:10.760 an epidemic of like phobia commitment, and I think that 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.000 that ends up manifesting in a lot of ways that 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:17.480 that we, you know, write about every day, most importantly 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.760 not having kids and not feeling tied to the land 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:24.320 and the nation that you're a part of. And there's 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:29.280 so many statistics about how, you know, people especially younger generations, 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:33.160 are having way less sex they're when they are having sex. 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.760 I saw statistic when I was thinking about this leading 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.960 up to the show, seventy percent seven zero percent of 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:42.440 people who are having sex have had a non committal 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:46.560 kind of like casual sexual encounter in the last year 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:51.400 from when they took the study. You know, numbers for 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:56.680 marriage are like in the dumps. People are isolating. They're 0:16:56.680 --> 0:17:01.000 obsessed with social media and it makes them incredibly lonely 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.040 in ways that they don't really realize. Because when you 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.240 live connected to your screen, you feel like you have 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:10.719 constant comforties. It's actually total isolation and it's killing people's vibe. 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.800 I think it's killing people's vibe. I think it's killing 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:16.119 their mood. I think it's killing their sense of patriotism 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.600 and sense of connection to the earth the land around them, 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.919 and making them really not give a shit about the 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.320 future of the country. Obviously, you have nothing, you know, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.400 coming after you, so why do you care. It's all 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.720 about you and it's all about now. So I think 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:34.280 that that manifests in a lot of ways, and I 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:36.080 think that that's a really interesting thing that is really 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.480 not talked about enough, which is the decline in partnership. 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:41.560 Yeah, and you know the thing is also I think 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:44.200 about this a lot, but those people are having terrible sex, 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:46.800 Like they don't realize it, maybe because they have never 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:49.280 been in a relationship, but like the one offs are 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.679 just that's going to be the worst version. And there 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.840 was some way to like let them know. But also 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.920 it just concerns me that people in relationships don't have sex, 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.760 Like that has declined significantly. There was some crazy stat 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:06.600 during the pandemic where like way more people were watching 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:09.760 porn and masturbating versus having sex with like their partners 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:10.440 who were home. 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:14.399 And I just it's we take the easy path and 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.760 it's not the better path, and it's concerning. But so 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:19.680 do you think it's solvable, Like how do we get 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:21.280 people out of this loneliness rut? 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:21.520 Oh? 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:24.960 Yeah, Like it's a hard call. I think that you know, 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.800 I mentioned the part of the reason why I think 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:30.399 people are lonely is because they're obsessed to social media. 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:33.000 And the thing is, the messaging on social media is 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:37.240 that marriage and commitment are limiting. Marriage commitment is a 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:40.479 ball and chain. Marriage and commitment is going to prevent 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.320 you or inhibit you from being who you are, who 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:47.840 you want to be, from self exploration and and and 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:51.720 you know, ambition or whatever. And like, I think that 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.040 there needs to be kind of like a recast of 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:57.680 the narrative around relationships and marriage. And that's something that 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:00.480 you know, I like, I like, you know, one of 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.400 the things that makes me happy and feels like I've 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:04.560 made it is hanging out with normies, you know, and 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:07.840 hanging out who have interests apart from politics. 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:10.119 And who don't even know like the scandals or the 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:13.200 whatever that we like live every single day. 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:17.840 Those are the most pain and cool people obviously, Yes, 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:24.000 And you know I think that, Like so I will 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:25.960 sort of get like a temperature check or like a 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:28.119 gut check on like what's going on in media and 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.119 what's being on social media and like what's striving and 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:32.119 stuff from those people who aren't immersed in it, but 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:35.200 who just kind of get the general message. And yeah, 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:40.120 the general messages that marriage is outdated, that marriages archaic partnership, 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:43.440 and that partnership sucks it and prevents you from being 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.560 yourself or whatever. And I think that, yeah, there needs 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.760 to be a total total overhaul in that narrative. And 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:51.800 I don't know how you do it apart from getting 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:54.399 people to experience this themselves, because it's like one of 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:56.760 those things that you can't really that somebody who has 0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.400 involved and it can't really understand I don't think fullyef. 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.600 But it's like you know, you're talking about like like 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.440 talking about how bad casual sex is that is so true. 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.719 It's always bad. And I've never heard of somebody come 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:10.320 out of one night standing and be like that was 0:20:10.359 --> 0:20:14.919 amazing if they had they had dating that person, you know. 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:20.080 But like it's like, you know, when you're with somebody 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:22.600 who you're committed to, that's when you actually get to 0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:26.240 be yourself. A that's when sex is good also because 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.679 of the first thing. And you know, when you're with 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:31.320 a random stranger, when you're with ten random strangers who 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:35.160 you're on a rotating dating basis with, it's like you 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.520 never ever get vulnerable because you don't know them, and 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:42.080 and then therefore you never actually get to reach inside 0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:46.920