1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to desperately devoted. 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 2: Think of us as your favorite neighbors as we chat 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 2: about life and relationships, all while. 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 3: We revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together. 5 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 4: I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen. 6 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 5: And I'm Emerson Tenny. Well, Hi, everybody. Here we are for. 7 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 3: Episode nineteen's XYZ. Episode nineteen was called Live Alone and 8 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 3: Like It, and there were lots of themes of loneliness 9 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,519 Speaker 3: and relationships and identity. And one thing that we did 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 3: not get to touch on in our episode that I 11 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 3: think we were really excited to talk about here was 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 3: the idea. 13 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,880 Speaker 5: Of the One. Do you believe in the One? 14 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 3: This is something that Susan says to Sophie, her mom 15 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 3: about Mike, when she says, Sophie, you know you're able 16 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 3: to move on so quickly because your last relationship was 17 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 3: just one in a long chain of men for you. 18 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 5: But Mike, Mike was the one. 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 3: And I know this moment stood out to all of us, 20 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 3: and I know we have a lot of thoughts about 21 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 3: does the one exist? 22 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 5: Is that a real thing? Who wants to kick us off? 23 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 2: I don't think it's a real thing. I mean I 24 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 2: think it's great if you feel that way that somebody 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 2: is your soulmate and just the one and you're with 26 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: them your whole life. And we actually have a couple 27 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 2: of family friends that have been married since they were 28 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 2: quite young, and they sure seem like the one to 29 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 2: each other. 30 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 4: So I'm not saying you can't have that. 31 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: Or that that isn't even something to envy and like 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 2: a beautiful connection. I believe you feel that someone's the 33 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 2: one because of what you do to make your relationship 34 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: feel that way. Like I don't believe that there just 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 2: is one person and you got lucky enough to meet them. 36 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 4: What do you guys think? 37 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: I would love to disagree so that I can represent 38 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: the one out there, the people who are out there 39 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: who do believe in the one. 40 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 4: But I fall on the same side as you do. 41 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 4: I don't. 42 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: I think it can be really misleading and potentially damaging 43 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: to go through your life thinking that you're supposed to 44 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: unlock the one, and if you don't, then that means 45 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: you're going to be alone forever. I do, however, believe 46 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: in soulmates, but I don't. 47 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 4: Believe too cute. 48 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: That's cute, but I don't believe in in only really 49 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,839 Speaker 1: believe No, just kidding, but I don't believe in only 50 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: romantic soulmates, and I don't when I think of the 51 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: soulmates in my life. It's not limited to just my husband, 52 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: whom I do think of as one of my soulmates. 53 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: But I have that in friendships, and it's that feeling 54 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 1: of when you meet someone and you just feel this 55 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: connection to them, this being seen by them, being you know, 56 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: that's the magic of human connection when that happens. And 57 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: I think that to me, the word soulmate makes sense 58 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: for that. But no, the one as a concept is 59 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: something I definitely don't agree with. 60 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 3: Love. I love that you brought up the term soulmate 61 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 3: because I think soulmate and the one you know are 62 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 3: often interchangeable or get conflated. This idea of Oh, I 63 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 3: found my soulmate, I found the one that I'm gonna 64 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 3: be with forever. And I also wish I could represent 65 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 3: people who believe in that, But they are morons. 66 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 5: No, I'm just kidding, you're not. 67 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 3: And I think I do think a singular one type 68 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 3: of relationship that you find with someone and then you 69 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 3: actively continue to choose to cultivate a singular one life together. 70 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 3: I think that endeavor is beautiful and I think so 71 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 3: much meaning can be found in that, and I aspire 72 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: to find that in my own life. But in terms 73 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 3: of your idea about soulmates, I think I really agree 74 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 3: with you. 75 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 5: I think we have lots. 76 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 3: Of soulmates, just like I believe we have lots of 77 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 3: the one out there. 78 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 5: Now. 79 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 3: I don't think that means that you're gonna usetainly, won't. 80 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 3: I don't think experience a relationship with all of those people, 81 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 3: and certainly not a romantic relationship or a monogamous relationship. 82 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 5: That I mean now has the time exactly. 83 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 3: And this is not I'm not advocating for a polyamorous 84 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 3: dynamic like that's actually not what I personally aspire to 85 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 3: or want. But I do think the idea that there's 86 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 3: one person and then if something happened to that person 87 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 3: or if that relationship failed, you would never find another 88 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 3: person that you had a meaningful soul connection with. 89 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 5: I think that is a fallacy. 90 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 3: And there's a movie that I love so much that 91 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 3: I think is really underrated from this incredible writer, director, actor, 92 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 3: multi hyphen it Cooper Raife, who is my age and maybe. 93 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:45,239 Speaker 5: One of my soulmates. No, I was just kidding. 94 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 3: But he wrote and directed and starred in alongside Dakota 95 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 3: Johnson an incredible film that came out a few years 96 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 3: ago called Chachaw Real Smooth, and it's an underrated indie 97 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 3: romance dramedy that I think is brilliant and beautifully done 98 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 3: and just tort a force. 99 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 5: I love Cooper Raife. 100 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: And there's a conversation between Cooper and Dakota's characters where 101 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 3: they talk about soulmates and she says, you know, do 102 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 3: you believe in soulmates? And he says, I believe that 103 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 3: we all have lots of soulmates out in the world, 104 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 3: and maybe we won't meet all of them. And Dakota 105 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 3: Johnson says, how many soulmates do you think I have? 106 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 3: And he's like, oh, maybe twelve, And she goes, how 107 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 3: many do you have? 108 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 5: And he's like, twelve hundred. 109 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 3: But I really I it was the first time I'd 110 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 3: actually seen in film an idea that I have had 111 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 3: not verbalized for myself, but carried with me for a 112 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 3: long time, put into a conversation between these two characters, 113 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 3: and it was a really beautiful, affirming moment. Which you know, 114 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 3: film at its best quality has this ability to affirm 115 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 3: beliefs and ideas that we've had and articulate them in 116 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 3: a way that we haven't been able to in our 117 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 3: wakening conscious lives. And I remember seeing that seen on 118 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 3: screen and going, Yep, that is what I believe about love. 119 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 3: We have lots of soulmates. We will meet some of them, 120 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 3: maybe we will date some of them, and then I 121 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: think ultimately we will decide who we want to cultivate 122 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 3: a life with. 123 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 2: But that's not think this idea though when people say that, 124 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 2: like that person is the one, Like what do you 125 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 2: think is the psychology behind that? And also like if 126 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: you're searching for the one, what are you doing? What 127 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 2: are you doing to find them? 128 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 4: You know? 129 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 2: And I'm kind of asking these questions because I almost 130 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: think there isn't an answer, but I'm I'm wondering if 131 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 2: you've witnessed anything that has been successful for somebody, because 132 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 2: I think that the only way. But you know, also, 133 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 2: I'm the one that's not been in a relationship for 134 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 2: such a long time, but I think the only way 135 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 2: you find people to connect with that may be indeed 136 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 2: your soulmate is by you know, bravely continuing to put 137 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: your self out there and meet people and be rejected 138 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 2: and maybe be seen by some people and maybe not 139 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 2: be seen by others. And you have to be strong 140 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: enough in your sense of self to keep putting yourself 141 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: in that position. And I feel like, especially some young 142 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 2: people are like retreating from that, like it's too scary. 143 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 2: How do you find yourself like continuing to connect? 144 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 3: I think you choose the one, you don't find the one. 145 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 3: I think you know what qualities you're looking for if 146 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 3: you want to share your life with a partner in 147 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 3: that type of way, you know what you're looking for, 148 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 3: and you have relationships and you recognize like someone who 149 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 3: has a lot of these qualities, and then you love 150 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 3: and you have a soul connection with each other enough 151 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 3: that you both agree, okay, we are going to actively 152 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 3: choose to be each other's person, each other's one through 153 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:03,119 Speaker 3: this life. But I don't think that you unconsciously will 154 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 3: just stumble across someone and get struck by it and 155 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 3: they will be the one, and you will never have 156 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 3: a question about anyone else ever again, and you will 157 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 3: never look at anyone else ever again. And I think 158 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 3: the idea of the one. People who say, oh, I'm 159 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 3: out here looking for the one, I actually think comes 160 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 3: from a very insecure, possessive place in us. Oh you 161 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 3: are my one, like I just it actually kind of 162 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 3: makes me a bit uncomfortable that idea, because I think 163 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 3: it stems from feeling too insecure to hold maybe the truth, 164 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 3: which is, there are lots of people that we could 165 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 3: be with at any given moment, and we'd wake up 166 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 3: and we decide to choose whoever we're with each day. 167 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 4: Where's the romance in not choosing? 168 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that the romance in a real 169 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: when we're talking about it as the one in a 170 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: romantic context or you know, soulmates and things like that. 171 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: I if the inherent romance to me about it is 172 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 1: in fact, like both of you are saying the choice. 173 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 5: That's not yea to choose and knowing. 174 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: That that someone else is choosing you when we all 175 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: know that we're not perfect, you know we're not. I don't. 176 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: I almost find it so much more beautiful the concept 177 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: that Josh chooses me, not Josh thought of me as 178 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: the one put me in that box and now has 179 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: kept me in that box. 180 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 5: Yeah you know not part right, Yeah, I. 181 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,959 Speaker 1: Think it's so much more beautiful to think. Gosh, here 182 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: we are both continuing to choose each other throughout the 183 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: end of time. 184 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 2: Did you ever have somebody that you felt like was 185 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 2: your one that turned out not to be your one? 186 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 2: I mean, I can tell you about the guy that 187 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: I moved to England for. 188 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 5: Oh God, I remember this, Jesu Louis. 189 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 4: I mean, I guess I did you think he was 190 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 4: the one? I don't know. 191 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm too old for that way of thinking. 192 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 2: I mean, it feels it feels so romantic, and. 193 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 4: So it feels like a youthful. 194 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 2: Thing to think that somebody is the one, and I 195 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 2: feel like life has just beat the shit out of me. 196 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 2: So I don't believe in that anymore. 197 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 3: Well, we just established that that's maybe a problematic belief 198 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 3: to have in the first place. 199 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 2: So I believe that I met someone that I thought 200 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: could be a lifetime companion. 201 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 4: That's how I would put it. 202 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 2: And I feel like it's falling more into your box 203 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 2: what you're saying, Andrews, that I chose to explore if 204 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 2: this could be a lifetime companion, and you know, to 205 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 2: do so. There were a number of reasons but I 206 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 2: had to move to England to explore that because that's 207 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 2: where he lived and he had younger kids, and I 208 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 2: had more opportunity to move at the time, which I 209 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 2: don't really now because now I take care of my parents. 210 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 2: But I really invested in it in a a in 211 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 2: a big way. 212 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 4: I got there. 213 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 2: I think it wasn't too long before I realized he 214 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 2: was I was not, that he was not the one, 215 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 2: that I was not going to continue to be able 216 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 2: to choose to make him my companion every day for 217 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 2: a number of reasons. And when I finally left, he 218 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 2: did do one of the meanest things that's ever been 219 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 2: done to me. He could so not accept that I 220 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 2: could not choose him that he basically threatened. He said, 221 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 2: if you leave me, you'll be alone forever. And so 222 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 2: just the fact that somebody would say that makes it 223 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 2: very obvious that you are not the one. 224 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, I mean he only dug his own Bravey. 225 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 3: Don't you love that when in a breakup, someone proves 226 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 3: a new reason why you should break up with them 227 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 3: in their response to the breakup, you yeah, and thank 228 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 3: you for so clear. 229 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 2: He followed that unresponded to email, because I did not 230 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 2: respond to that. He followed that up with and the 231 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 2: only reason you broke up with me is because you're 232 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 2: crazy from being on hormone replacement therapy. Oh right, yeah 233 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 2: it god, yeah, it digs pretty deep, right, and you're 234 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 2: just like, just keep exposing to me all the reasons 235 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: I'm so thrilled to be in Los Angeles. 236 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: It's not a cool move, guy. Yeah, like you didn't 237 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: respond to my email. But I'm gonna say another thing, 238 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: like cool, really good. 239 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 4: There, but that's the real thing. 240 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 2: But I would say that's you know, but okay, it's 241 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 2: it's funny and I and I am a strong person 242 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 2: and like to go back to what we were talking 243 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 2: about in the episode about being alone, and we were 244 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 2: talking about miss McCluskey, like not being able to open 245 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 2: her arthritis medicine. You know, you guys, I'm sixty, Like 246 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 2: I'm in pretty good shape and whatever. But like I 247 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 2: got COVID a couple of months ago, and I was alone. 248 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 2: I was alone in my house with one hundred and 249 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 2: four fever. 250 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 4: It was not great. And it's not that there wasn't. 251 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 2: People I could have called that loved me that, but 252 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 2: I didn't want to call anybody I didn't want to 253 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 2: give anybody COVID, I didn't want anybody to come over, and. 254 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 4: So I did sort of suffer through it. 255 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 2: But even in that space, I don't think I felt lonely. 256 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 2: I just knew that I was alone and that it 257 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: was hard, but I wasn't lonely. It's like this interior 258 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 2: feeling that maybe you're not loved, and I don't feel 259 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 2: that because I know that I'm loved by so many 260 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: people in my really beautiful life. 261 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 3: Well, that's a beautiful thing to carry as we go 262 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 3: from the one to the other one or looking. You know, 263 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 3: if you met someone I know, you asked me if 264 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,599 Speaker 3: I had ever felt like, yeah, I had met I 265 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 3: wouldn't say the one because I don't believe in that, 266 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 3: But if I'd met a soulmate, and I would say, yes, 267 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: one hundred percent. I have been in relationships with that. 268 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 3: I'm no longer in relationships now with people who I 269 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: think are one of my probably many soulmates in the world, 270 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 3: and it is a huge joy in my life that 271 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,319 Speaker 3: I have people who if I have had romantic relationship 272 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 3: with who that part of our relationship has ended and 273 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 3: we now have very deep and meaningful friendships, and I think, 274 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 3: you know, I think when someone really is your soulmate, 275 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 3: and this is my experience with this, they stay in 276 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 3: your life, I don't, regardless of what your relation to 277 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 3: each other is. And that's how I know that the 278 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 3: person that I'm thinking of, I think is definitely one 279 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 3: of my life soulmates, because we're still in each other's 280 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 3: lives and it continues to be a beautiful, meaningful relationship 281 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 3: to me, even though it's not as romantic partners. 282 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 4: Do we have any like parting? I don't know ideas 283 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 4: of like. 284 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 2: How to best like love yourself in a way that 285 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: it's it's like fulfilling so that you don't feel lonely 286 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 2: and you feel like you're open to meeting your soulmate. 287 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: Well, I think that this conversation about the one and 288 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: soulmates and romance and all these things kind of bleeds 289 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: and that other idea of looking for your other half, right, 290 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: it's language also used frequently in the same context, and 291 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: as we're sitting here talking about it, it's like, why 292 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: can't we be our own the one? Like why isn't 293 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: the one? The idea of who we are and loving 294 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: ourselves that much? And making sure we are honoring our 295 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: individual journeys here so that we have all of this 296 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: amazing filled up cup to share with someone else. 297 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 3: At the end of the day, you are the only 298 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 3: one that you really get. 299 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, well that feels like a good parting words, 300 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 2: doesn't it? 301 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 4: It does? It does? 302 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 2: You are the only one, So do the best you 303 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 2: can to make the life that you want. 304 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 4: You know, treat. 305 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 2: Yourself the way you need like. I also think there's 306 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 2: the part of that that's like and hold yourself responsible 307 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 2: for your own you know, commitment desires like don't be 308 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 2: afraid to look at yourself and go Terry. 309 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 4: You could have been better on that. You could. You 310 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 4: could show up in a different way, you know what 311 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 4: I mean. 312 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 3: You can call yourself your name. You don't even have 313 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 3: to call yourself Terry. If you do that, yeah, you 314 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 3: could do it right. You can use your own name. 315 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 3: But Terry also works. And I give everyone permission to 316 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 3: call themselves Terry. 317 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna look in the 318 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: mirror and I'm gonna call myself Terry. 319 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 5: Well, Terry, you've done a really great job on this. 320 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 4: You too, Terry, You too, Terry. Oh wow, that's really 321 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 4: devoted to Terry. 322 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 2: Oh my, I'm desperately devoted to you. 323 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 4: We'll see you next week.