Speaker 1: The Nicki Kleiser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Nikkleaser Podcast. Here's Nikki, Hello, welcome to the show. It's
Speaker 2: Nicky Glaser podcast podcast. What did I say? Off to
Speaker 2: a great start? I'm here alone in Saint Louis. Uh
Speaker 2: Noah's in Arizona. Brian Franjie is in Los Angeles. Anya
Speaker 2: is in New York. I know we are all alone,
Speaker 2: anyas the troth that is on the on tour.
Speaker 3: Auviy is where he is in Dallas. What work stuff? Oh?
Speaker 3: How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2: Fine? Fine?
Speaker 4: I enjoy the time alone where I could just be
Speaker 4: gross and just do whatever.
Speaker 5: I wanst Why is that the first thing we go to.
Speaker 5: It's so nice.
Speaker 3: I do not change anything if Chris is here or not?
Speaker 5: Wait, what do you you're not?
Speaker 3: I maybe I fart more? Is that what you mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean like if I face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what they meant.
Speaker 5: I eat the same food every day. I'm just like,
Speaker 5: I don't need I don't care if lunch is the
Speaker 5: same as dinner, whereas if we're together, I think we
Speaker 5: try a little harder for each other.
Speaker 2: Okay, same, God, meal planning is so exhaustive. You have
Speaker 2: to be like what do you want, Chris and I
Speaker 2: just get separate things.
Speaker 5: You're smart. Oh my god, I just read this article
Speaker 5: written by a divorce lawyer. I sent it to you guys.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what what did that say?
Speaker 5: When you gets the advice on marriage? It's really well written.
Speaker 5: It It came out a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 5: my sister sent it to me. I don't know what
Speaker 5: that means. She's like warning, warning, But no, he's like,
Speaker 5: this is the most important thing, he said. He's like,
Speaker 5: marriage is the most legally significant thing you can do
Speaker 5: other than dying. It changes your property ownership rights, it
Speaker 5: changes your obligations when it comes to support, and changes
Speaker 5: all kinds of legal rights. And you don't even get
Speaker 5: a pamphlet when you get married that explains that to
Speaker 5: your inheritance right.
Speaker 2: Having a child would be before, like would be up
Speaker 2: there too with legal rights.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he says, like a partnership sharing children all that.
Speaker 5: He's like, he was like a romantic and saying whenever
Speaker 5: people come into his office, he urges them to go
Speaker 5: to counseling. And he's just shocked at how many people
Speaker 5: get married without thinking about it. He's like, more people
Speaker 5: put thought into getting a car and getting ready.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm shocked by people doing well. I think
Speaker 2: he's saying it should be more romantic, like it should
Speaker 2: like like treasure the idea of marriage and give it
Speaker 2: more thought like you would your new car Kia Sorrento.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and think of the car that's going to get
Speaker 5: you through all phases of life. He's like, if you
Speaker 5: choose something in your twenties, you're going to choose Everyone's like,
Speaker 5: I want a Lamborghini or Ferrari. But you have to
Speaker 5: think about all the phases of life. What kind of
Speaker 5: car is going to get you through all that?
Speaker 2: You want? That four wheel drive you want, those heated
Speaker 2: seats you want. Well, that's why I'm always like, you
Speaker 2: want people buy mozd, Like why do people buy Malibus?
Speaker 3: I just don't understand.
Speaker 2: If you are have this amount of money, why wouldn't
Speaker 2: you get look at Kelly Bluebook and get the most
Speaker 2: reliably rated car that you could get for your money
Speaker 2: instead of Because there's so many cars that are shit
Speaker 2: that are in the same price range as something that's reliable,
Speaker 2: like a Toyota Camera or Civic or you know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeahci, Yeah, I mean America's got a car culture and
Speaker 1: people are are influenced by marketing, and you know, one
Speaker 1: year you're gonna be like that car makes me.
Speaker 2: But if you're buying a low end car, who gives
Speaker 2: a fuck? What? Like there are no cool cars when
Speaker 2: you're paying Oh I really?
Speaker 1: Okay, There's there's a huge difference between having a Kia
Speaker 1: Sorrento and a mos To six, you know, which are
Speaker 1: in the same.
Speaker 2: But Mazdas are gonna probably be better rated.
Speaker 3: Right, Why would anyone buy a Kia?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 2: Why would any because.
Speaker 1: Especially nowadays, because you can easily break into you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they can steal them.
Speaker 2: My luber driver told me about that stealable Okay, So
Speaker 2: what else do we learn in this marriage thing?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: So people need to give it more thought, which is
Speaker 2: that's why I said I don't go to people's weddings.
Speaker 2: If you're in your twenties getting married and you haven't
Speaker 2: been together at least four years, I don't think your
Speaker 2: marriage is gonna make it. It's the only prerequisite for
Speaker 2: me thinking your marriage can make it in your twenties
Speaker 2: four years together at least, But otherwise what are you doing?
Speaker 3: But that's me projecting.
Speaker 5: It just struck me how we don't really think about
Speaker 5: it and you have to go to a divorce lawyer's
Speaker 5: office to he goes. A lot of people just have
Speaker 5: no idea what they're already in for. Like you said,
Speaker 5: your inheritance rates changed, your ability to select a beneficiary
Speaker 5: for your life insurance policy has changed, your ability to
Speaker 5: hold property, and your sole name just changed, and he goes.
Speaker 5: The first thing I do anytime anyone comes into my
Speaker 5: office is I just try to get them up to
Speaker 5: speed on what they're already.
Speaker 3: Wait, you can't buy property in your own name.
Speaker 5: When you're married, you can, but if you already are
Speaker 5: a property, I guess entitled to half.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm going to have a million carve outs.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have like you're doing the pre nup.
Speaker 2: But why why get married so you can visit each
Speaker 2: other in the hospital and have a wedding, which I mean,
Speaker 2: so what are the benefits of you get.
Speaker 1: To share health insurance?
Speaker 2: Oh that's right, Okay, you get a tax break, tax break.
Speaker 1: A little tax break. It's amazing much, is it?
Speaker 3: It's negligible.
Speaker 2: It has to be negligible or everyone getting many married,
Speaker 2: Like they're all moving to Texas.
Speaker 1: You got a free foot long from subway. I know
Speaker 1: that once a year. M you want the subway married,
Speaker 1: they give you a free sandwich. You didn't know that.
Speaker 5: He did say most divorces are the result of a
Speaker 5: bunch of tiny resentments over time, not one big thing.
Speaker 5: He quoted this thing from on Fire of the Vanities.
Speaker 5: You guys remember that movie. He said, there's this line
Speaker 5: where they're like, how did you go bankrupt? And the
Speaker 5: guy goes, I went bankrupt the way everyone does, very slowly,
Speaker 5: and then all at once, and he goes, that's how
Speaker 5: divorce happens. It's very slowly and then all at once.
Speaker 3: Is this news to anyone?
Speaker 2: I mean, do you guys think that people get divorced
Speaker 2: because of one thing?
Speaker 3: Like you can see it coming a mile away.
Speaker 2: Like it's always starts with little things of like he
Speaker 2: doesn't pick out the fucking trash, He never helps me
Speaker 2: with the kids. I have to do all the laundry,
Speaker 2: or like she doesn't fuck me anymore, Like everything starts
Speaker 2: with That's everything in life. If you pick up a
Speaker 2: bad habit, let's say you start cheating or you start
Speaker 2: using drugs, or something you start with, just like I'm
Speaker 2: a little bit anxious right now. I just need a
Speaker 2: little extra pills to get me through tonight. And then
Speaker 2: the next day you go, I need some more, and
Speaker 2: then it's snowballs. It all starts with something small, right.
Speaker 1: I say, it's even earlier. I can tell when couples
Speaker 1: are gonna get divorced before they get married. I have
Speaker 1: I I'm not going to say who, but I have
Speaker 1: my like people that I know are married. I've got
Speaker 1: like three or four of them pegged that you know,
Speaker 1: twenty years at most, but I believe sooner for some
Speaker 1: of them, and then you know.
Speaker 2: The years is a good run. Twenty years is a
Speaker 2: successful marriage in my opinion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got a few that I'm like, this isn't
Speaker 1: gonna last no way. And also I uh oh no,
Speaker 1: I lost my train of thought again.
Speaker 2: That's all right, that makes you likable.
Speaker 1: Well, no, that's not why I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do look like you're pointing to a charge
Speaker 2: like postcards you have like I have.
Speaker 1: I have my all my lines for the podcast written
Speaker 1: down the wall.
Speaker 5: Here, grab a pen, grab a sharpie, Bryant like me,
Speaker 5: and just start pointing and it'll come back to you.
Speaker 5: I lost my train of thought too. I don't remember
Speaker 5: why I brought up to divorce lawyer artist this.
Speaker 1: Is I'm I'm in a brain fog today.
Speaker 5: We're all that's so we didn't tell the listener.
Speaker 2: I think you brought it up because we were talking
Speaker 2: about planning. Yeah, and like how hard it is to
Speaker 2: cohabitate with someone and not just hard at all? Is Ye.
Speaker 1: What I was gonna say was I know who's gonna
Speaker 1: get divorced, and then but then sometimes they throw a
Speaker 1: curveball at me and they have kids, and then I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: now they're going to last into their ten years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that'll well, that's a classic trick. Is like
Speaker 2: the cat. You have kids to make to save this,
Speaker 2: let's get focus to save it. Get cats and dogs
Speaker 2: they move in together to save a thing. I've done
Speaker 2: all these tricks too, or like at least thought about
Speaker 2: doing them. Of like this will keep them around, or
Speaker 2: this will soothe her. I think is a lot of
Speaker 2: people like she wants a baby, I'll get her a dog.
Speaker 1: What do you think is more likely to save a marriage?
Speaker 1: A dog or a cat?
Speaker 2: I think a cat because they require so much less work.
Speaker 1: So you think a cat will make your marriage last
Speaker 1: longer than a dog.
Speaker 2: Well, I think either our bad options, and you should
Speaker 2: I think therapy.
Speaker 3: Would be the best option.
Speaker 2: But so many people have the worst opinion about couple's therapy,
Speaker 2: like it's it means you're already broken. I've heard like
Speaker 2: really intelligent men be like, then your your relationship's over,
Speaker 2: it's done, and then it's dead in the water if
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 4: I heard something very helpful from my therapist about couples therapy.
Speaker 1: Okay, so.
Speaker 4: I mean, like I mean and I we have a
Speaker 4: pretty like good strong relationship, good communications for the most part,
Speaker 4: but there are some things where we're just like not aligned.
Speaker 2: With and.
Speaker 4: We had this thing and I was like, and I said,
Speaker 4: I told him that we need couples therapy, but we're
Speaker 4: only gonna go to a couple's therapy if he sees
Speaker 4: a therapist on the side, because it's not fair that
Speaker 4: I have to see a therapist and then a couple's therapists.
Speaker 3: Men's sister let me guess she didn't like that.
Speaker 4: She said, uh, do not give him an ultimatum, and
Speaker 4: then she said, look for couple's therapy. You can do like,
Speaker 4: you know, six weeks and think of it as like
Speaker 4: a six week course before marriage, like a prerequisite before marriage.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like you're you're taking a class and
Speaker 4: you're resolving all to get a license for you get married. Yes, exactly,
Speaker 4: And I thought, I mean just like turning it around
Speaker 4: like that as opposed to like going to therapy to
Speaker 4: fix something versus going to therapy to be prepared.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like a physical therapy. Like you know, if
Speaker 1: your arm's hurt and you go to the physical therapist
Speaker 1: for six to eight weeks and that should be enough
Speaker 1: for you to learn the tools to continue maintaining the
Speaker 1: shoulder and then you don't have to go. If you
Speaker 1: go to physical therapy every day or every week for
Speaker 1: your entire life, you're you're addicted to physical therapy, right.
Speaker 4: I did like that there was an end date in
Speaker 4: that where she's like six weeks, and I said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: I guess I can go and just say, hey, we
Speaker 4: want six weeks crash course.
Speaker 2: Do believe that everyone should be working on themselves, whether
Speaker 2: it's like reading books about like theirselves, Like there should
Speaker 2: there be some level of like I could improve. I
Speaker 2: just don't understand when people think they just are right
Speaker 2: their entire lives and they were born right and everything
Speaker 2: else is the problem, not them, Like that just doesn't
Speaker 2: And I think that people can acknowledge No, I have issues,
Speaker 2: but I can just solve them on my own. Well
Speaker 2: then why aren't they solved yet? Why does this keep
Speaker 2: coming up? Like you need help for it? Why again,
Speaker 2: physical therapy? Why do you go to that? But you
Speaker 2: won't go to something for the stubbornness. But that's how
Speaker 2: you get that's how you get guys to go as
Speaker 2: you compare it to like something forbal Yeah, honestly, yes,
Speaker 2: it works. That's Chris denies that. That is why that
Speaker 2: he was open to it. But I do think I believe,
Speaker 2: But maybe I'm wrong because he denies it and he's
Speaker 2: not a liar, so but he I thought that What
Speaker 2: really got through to him about us going to couple's
Speaker 2: therapy was when I said, why do you go to
Speaker 2: a trainer if you have you have arms and legs
Speaker 2: and there's weights, Why can't you just figure it out? Then?
Speaker 2: Because he's like, if we can't figure this out, and
Speaker 2: what are we doing? I'm like, because you need someone
Speaker 2: to tell you what to do. And then I thought
Speaker 2: that like made it in my mind. I was like,
Speaker 2: that was his epiphany to be like, Okay, that works,
Speaker 2: but he still maintains like that did not change anything.
Speaker 2: Then I thought, I was like, but it's it's sound logic.
Speaker 2: There's no, there's no.
Speaker 1: Your brain is a muscle and so is your heart,
Speaker 1: and you're looking pretty weak an organ, and I think
Speaker 1: muscles muscles on your hearts.
Speaker 2: Around the heart. Wait, your heart's a muscle.
Speaker 1: Is your heart and muscle? I'm gonna google it, right, has.
Speaker 3: Muscles contracting it.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Your heart's a muscle. Your penis is not.
Speaker 1: No, right, Uh that was the name of that book.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's my first memoir.
Speaker 1: Your heart's a muscle, your penis is not. Your heart
Speaker 1: is a muscle. Your heart is a muscle. Google has
Speaker 1: confirmed it.
Speaker 6: This is from the Scottish Good You can't work about.
Speaker 5: Your heart, or I guess you can. You can if
Speaker 5: you do cardiovascular exercise it makes it stronger. Boy, we
Speaker 5: sound like a couple of.
Speaker 1: Okay, your brain is not a muscle. Your brain is
Speaker 1: an organ. However, this is from the Houston Methodist Church,
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 4: Why is Google showing you those kinds of.
Speaker 1: Christian Google is going to downhill fast right now. When
Speaker 1: there they went too far into the ad zone. And
Speaker 1: now when you Google something you get five sponsored.
Speaker 3: Google thing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Nikki, you've changed my life. When you said, yes,
Speaker 1: you've changed.
Speaker 2: Your favorite phrase, Nikki, you've.
Speaker 1: Changed my life instead of yeah, remember that old show
Speaker 1: this is your Life from.
Speaker 2: The same Yes, no I don't because I wasn't alive.
Speaker 1: But yes, you have a celebrity on. And then they go, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, uh uh Kirk Douglas, this is your life
Speaker 1: life all these people. Yeah, and the second grade teachers
Speaker 1: like I taught you math and he's like, I don't
Speaker 1: remember it. Yes, you should have a thing instead of
Speaker 1: this is your life. Nikki, you changed my life, because
Speaker 1: then I'll bring you more noise.
Speaker 2: Wait, why did I change your life?
Speaker 1: What did I say? Once ago? You were you were
Speaker 1: giving the advice to just Reddit things instead of Google things.
Speaker 1: Reddit should be the new Google. I've been redditing things NonStop,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I've gotten better advice. I've learned
Speaker 1: information so much faster.
Speaker 3: Reddit is the best thing ever.
Speaker 1: It's the best.
Speaker 2: Everyone not fact checked Google.
Speaker 5: True, but you can find more facts on Google.
Speaker 2: No, because Reddit you find links. People write links like
Speaker 2: to questions. If you have a question, there's someone I
Speaker 2: mean any like ailment or side effects. You want to
Speaker 2: know of things like there's communities of people and that's
Speaker 2: what you're looking up.
Speaker 1: Okay, personal personal anecdotes were work really well, especially with
Speaker 1: things like side effects, did you take this medication again?
Speaker 1: Any side effects? But if somebody says something wrong on Reddit,
Speaker 1: other redditors will be like that's wrong. And on Google,
Speaker 1: if the Houston Methodist Church is telling you that your
Speaker 1: brain is actually you know, your soul incarnate, there's no
Speaker 1: comments under that saying like that's not correct, So you
Speaker 1: don't even get like the the argument.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think people are overwhelmed by Reddit, but it's
Speaker 2: really not that's scary and it's not. It's it's nothing
Speaker 2: to be feared, like TikTok, or like I don't understand
Speaker 2: what these kids are talking about, Like there's a couple
Speaker 2: things you need to know. When it says TLDR it's
Speaker 2: too long, don't read.
Speaker 3: There's like a couple.
Speaker 2: ELI is explained like I'm and then it's usually el
Speaker 2: I five or I don't know what are other l I.
Speaker 1: And if this was sports or e l I. Oh,
Speaker 1: oh well that's what I did for The Bachelor.
Speaker 2: Oh right, do they do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do that.
Speaker 3: There's like a reddit for everything.
Speaker 2: It's so exciting and we're gonna do a Reddit dump today,
Speaker 2: which I'm excited about.
Speaker 1: But it's not like Twitter, where the community of Reddit
Speaker 1: is very supportive and they want you to get the information,
Speaker 1: whereas if you post this questions on Twitter, they're much
Speaker 1: smarter and informed. They want to.
Speaker 2: Help because you up vote what there's up voting happening,
Speaker 2: so there's like a consensus of like, this guy's comment
Speaker 2: is the best, and it's just I just find it
Speaker 2: interesting because the worst part about the Internet that people
Speaker 2: can hide behind an avatar and not really show themselves
Speaker 2: and say whatever they want. That actually is cool there
Speaker 2: because people are free to share really embarrassing, really vulnerable things,
Speaker 2: and you read these stories of people's lives and whether
Speaker 2: they're true or not, like it is up for debate.
Speaker 2: But sometimes I feel like I can suss out who's
Speaker 2: I mean. Some people will say that's a shit post
Speaker 2: is another term that people use on there as a
Speaker 2: ship posting. If you're just like kind of trolling and
Speaker 2: making something up. But it's just that it's my favorite
Speaker 2: thing to do. And my favorite is always ask credit
Speaker 2: because they just ask interesting questions and then people share
Speaker 2: their stories of like, what's the most frightening thing that's
Speaker 2: ever happened to you, what's the worst pain you've ever
Speaker 2: felt in your life, What's the worst odor you've ever smelled? Like,
Speaker 2: just those kind of things are so interesting. As a comedian,
Speaker 2: you were sopping up other experiences and the just information
Speaker 2: and it's just a great way to experience the world
Speaker 2: from your little cave in your bedroom that has blackout curtains.
Speaker 2: I love it. And we're gonna do redd It Dump
Speaker 2: right after this. I think maybe not, but on this
Speaker 2: episode you just wait and see. So last night I
Speaker 2: went over to my parents' house because my friend his
Speaker 2: dad died recently. So I'm just like trying to every
Speaker 2: time that I have any time free, I'm just like,
Speaker 2: I got to get in parent time because you never know.
Speaker 3: And so I went over there.
Speaker 2: My dad was at band practice and so my mom
Speaker 2: was hanging out alone and I walked in. She's watching
Speaker 2: Real Housewives of Orange County and she always does a
Speaker 2: sing where she's like, you can change it, and I go, well,
Speaker 2: are you watching it? She goes, no, you can change it,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, you can watch it if you want,
Speaker 2: Like how much more time is left?
Speaker 3: I just started it.
Speaker 2: You can change it. And because she knows, I hate
Speaker 2: those shows because it's just there's a woman on that
Speaker 2: show that has the biggest lips that are sticking out
Speaker 2: of her head like Donald Duckle, like I've I haven't
Speaker 2: seen like they look.
Speaker 3: Like frisbees in her mouth.
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 3: It's injections. It's just too much injections.
Speaker 1: That's not on purpose that they want it to look
Speaker 1: that big.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. But at that point, you this
Speaker 2: happened to me before you stop seeing your face the
Speaker 2: way other people see it. You just get adjusted to
Speaker 2: your face. It's like anything like if you have like
Speaker 2: floaters in your eyes, you kind of get used to
Speaker 2: them so you don't really see it. But it's and
Speaker 2: I go. My mom goes, what did she do? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, those lips are insane? And she goes, oh god,
Speaker 2: And I go, I've done that before though, and she's
Speaker 2: like you better watch it, and I go, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I would hate to end up on a show that
Speaker 2: my mom can't pry her eyes off, that would be
Speaker 2: the worst thing. I go, you don't seem to have
Speaker 2: an issue with it. She goes, I can't stand looking
Speaker 2: at that shit, And I go, you were just if
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have come over, you would have been glued
Speaker 2: to this. So it's always funny to me when my
Speaker 2: mom is like, kind of Nikki, don't do this thing
Speaker 2: that Leu Anne would do, and I'm like, or like
Speaker 2: some awful behavior of one of these housewives. Yeah, no
Speaker 2: it wasn't Lisa Rena is New Jersey. People that watch
Speaker 2: The New Jersey Housewives know exactly whose lips I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: There were Lisa Arenas. I like when a lip, I
Speaker 2: know when lips are full, but it's like the skin
Speaker 2: in front, like behind them even starts to protrude, Like
Speaker 2: the skin is like pushing out.
Speaker 1: Like it looks like you can remove the lips. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like a yes, mister potato head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, stretching the skin a little bit like on the
Speaker 2: skun And so the skin it looks like it's a duck,
Speaker 2: you know. And I've had it happen to me too,
Speaker 2: with too much filler it's just like this girl just
Speaker 2: got too much and it'll go away.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. But I just find it funny that
Speaker 3: my mom is always like.
Speaker 2: Don't do that, don't say that, and it's always something
Speaker 2: that I go but that person has an enormous career
Speaker 2: because of this stuff. Or you know, when we were
Speaker 2: doing our reality show, my mom would be so worried,
Speaker 2: like what if I you know, people are gonna think
Speaker 2: this and that, and I go think about the worst person,
Speaker 2: you know, like the most heinous personality on any of
Speaker 2: these shows, and there's several of them on these housewives
Speaker 2: shows where the people are just horrible people and they
Speaker 2: say awful things all the time. They're backstabbers, they're liars,
Speaker 2: they're fake, they're dumb, and you still watch them. So
Speaker 2: what is gonna happen? People are just gonna like you
Speaker 2: watch you more. And if you met any of those
Speaker 2: women out, mom, you would go up and say can
Speaker 2: I get a picture? I love you? You would never maybe
Speaker 2: in the recesses of My mom doesn't like troll but
Speaker 2: like I can see how she you know, these people
Speaker 2: get a lot of hate online, but these people go
Speaker 2: out and about Ramona is never being faced with someone
Speaker 2: being like you dumb cunt, like even though that's all
Speaker 2: people say about her online or whatever. I like Ramona,
Speaker 2: but like you aren't faced with it, you know, like it.
Speaker 1: On line how your mom views you, because these are
Speaker 1: things that she feels you may actually do, so she
Speaker 1: has to warn you don't. It's not like she's like
Speaker 1: when she's not like Nikki, don't do what Casey Anthony did, Like,
Speaker 1: she's not warning you against stuff like that. She's warning
Speaker 1: you against getting lip fillers. So it's interesting.
Speaker 2: It is interesting because even when we were one of
Speaker 2: the Taylor Swift shows, I was wearing a really short
Speaker 2: skirt and you could kind of see like the bottom
Speaker 2: part of my butt sticking out, and I just didn't care,
Speaker 2: because I would care if I was going to a
Speaker 2: place with a lot of men, because it would seem
Speaker 2: like I want men to look at my ass and
Speaker 2: it would be like kind of getting men's attention. And
Speaker 2: I don't like men's attention when they're just like I
Speaker 2: don't like I just don't like men being like over me.
Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm going to a safe place
Speaker 2: with like children, which a lot of people would go.
Speaker 2: Why would you wear that around children because Taylor's wearing
Speaker 2: it on stage, She's wearing swimsuits, and like, why is
Speaker 2: this acceptable if I'm at a pool but it's not here?
Speaker 2: I just don't get it. I don't get why you
Speaker 2: can't wear my moms that's pretty short. And my mom
Speaker 2: was even hanging out it just if I bent over it,
Speaker 2: And so I ended up wearing gym shorts underneath because
Speaker 2: my mom was so like, oh, I don't think so
Speaker 2: it's pretty short, and I go, is a kid gonna
Speaker 2: see my boy? And there aren't that many kids there
Speaker 2: by the way, I'm just saying like there's more kids
Speaker 2: than probably men. Well that's not true, but or I
Speaker 2: would say straight men. But it was just like, why
Speaker 2: what is gonna happen if I wear a short skirt?
Speaker 2: Like what are people gonna think?
Speaker 3: I like apart and go like what's gonna what?
Speaker 2: Let's let's play this out. Am I gonnaa?
Speaker 3: And then what they'll think? You're my mom? Always in they'll.
Speaker 1: My mom.
Speaker 2: The other night was like, Chris probably thinks those kids
Speaker 2: are crazy because we went to dinner with my sister's
Speaker 2: kids and she goes, does Chris think those kids are crazy?
Speaker 2: And I go, no, I don't think so she goes,
Speaker 2: he probably thinks they're crazy, and I go, okay, so
Speaker 2: what if.
Speaker 3: He does, what's gonna happen?
Speaker 2: She goes, I just don't want people thinking Lauren's kids
Speaker 2: are crazy. What happens if they do, because then they'll
Speaker 2: think that she's not doing a good job. And I go, so,
Speaker 2: who gives a shit? So they think she's a bad mom, like,
Speaker 2: which is not true.
Speaker 5: Because the reflex on your mom because then she'll think, oh,
Speaker 5: they think.
Speaker 2: I raised someone who's a bad mom. Yeah, but like
Speaker 2: who really cares. That's how I feel so impervious to
Speaker 2: any judgment. I was thinking about my Taylor Swift rant
Speaker 2: from a couple episodes ago, and I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, are people gonna come after me? And I go,
Speaker 2: oh my god. If I unsubscribe from every swifty thing,
Speaker 2: I'll never see what people say about it. I can
Speaker 2: totally miss if it like gets picked up and people
Speaker 2: are pissed about it or they're like because I.
Speaker 3: Know they will be.
Speaker 2: And by the way, I was talking directly to Swifties
Speaker 2: on that one, like the fanatical Swifties, not the everyday
Speaker 2: swifty who's like oh, I like that Folklore album. I'm
Speaker 2: talking about the girls on Reddit who are like, how
Speaker 2: could she do this to us? Those swifties are gonna
Speaker 2: hate me for what I said, But I was also
Speaker 2: like I could. It literally doesn't matter what anyone thinks
Speaker 2: about me ever, if I don't read it. I don't
Speaker 2: care what people say about me behind my back if
Speaker 2: I don't have to ever hear it. And that gives
Speaker 2: us back to what we were talking about about criticism.
Speaker 2: I don't ever ask Chris, do I look fat in this?
Speaker 2: Because what I don't know, I don't care about.
Speaker 1: Most people don't care what anyone is doing at any time.
Speaker 1: When they do comment on Reddit, it's because they're getting
Speaker 1: something out of it. They really don't actually care. No
Speaker 1: one cares about what anyone does at any time unless
Speaker 1: you're on a plane, and then everybody cares what you're doing.
Speaker 1: But other than that, nobody can care.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean in their real life, but just
Speaker 2: being someone in the spotlight where people have strong opinions
Speaker 2: about what you do, it like it can get to
Speaker 2: you of like, dude, these people don't like what I said.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's happened to me before, where I've read
Speaker 2: things that are like the worst thing you could think
Speaker 2: about yourself. Someone found a way to synthesize that hatred
Speaker 2: that's in your bin and like put it perfectly into
Speaker 2: words on a forum where everyone is reading about you.
Speaker 1: I think that's giving the deficult too much credit. You're
Speaker 1: you're thinking that this person spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: thinking about what to say, and then they post.
Speaker 2: They didn't they be so obvious. They just were able
Speaker 2: to jot it down.
Speaker 1: Then they went on with their life.
Speaker 2: I look so fat or whatever. This is my mean
Speaker 2: quotes when I when I say, I never ask anyone
Speaker 2: do I look fat? This person didn't even need to
Speaker 2: be asked. They just knew it and put it somewhere
Speaker 2: where I could see it, and I just stumbled upon
Speaker 2: it accidentally. I never seek it out, And so it's like,
Speaker 2: but if you don't see it, it doesn't exist. It's
Speaker 2: like the way I feel about ghosts. At some point
Speaker 2: in my life, I had to say ghosts don't exist,
Speaker 2: because otherwise I'd be scared all the time.
Speaker 3: When I'm alone.
Speaker 2: All the time I was a kid, I was scared
Speaker 2: constantly of ghosts. And then one day I go if
Speaker 2: I convince myself they don't exist, and I think people
Speaker 2: who believe they exist are cuckoo. I can live a
Speaker 2: peaceful life because I'm not looking for this thing, and
Speaker 2: so that's what I do with. If I can do
Speaker 2: that with people's opinions, I'll live a great life.
Speaker 5: That's so true. If you don't see it, it doesn't exist.
Speaker 5: I mean, it does exist.
Speaker 2: But I'm not even killing I've ever seen about Kim
Speaker 2: Kardashian if she never like I think about Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I really hope she's not looking at
Speaker 2: any of this.
Speaker 3: I guarantee you it's hard for her to eat.
Speaker 2: She can't go online without someone saying, like, there's nowhere
Speaker 2: online where someone's not talking about her, so it would
Speaker 2: be impossible.
Speaker 3: But she she didn't.
Speaker 2: Do anything wrong in dating this guy. People are very
Speaker 2: upset about it and all these things. But she could,
Speaker 2: she could avoid all of it, and then it wouldn't matter,
Speaker 2: and she could keep living her life and not adjust anything.
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm interested in, is people who avoid
Speaker 2: everything and just keep living their lives and wait for
Speaker 2: the wave of hatred or whatever to subside, and then
Speaker 2: they come back out and it's not there anymore because
Speaker 2: people have moved on to something else.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you said at once to me, successful people don't
Speaker 5: give little stuff energy.
Speaker 1: They just don't know what this small stuff.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're like you are bothered by something, and you're like,
Speaker 5: I just realized. I read somewhere that successful people don't
Speaker 5: like let stuff bother them. So I dropped it, like, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I worried about someone being mad at me, one
Speaker 2: of my friends being mad at me, and I was
Speaker 2: walking down the street being like, I have to explain
Speaker 2: to her, like that's not what I meant, and now
Speaker 2: she's gonna think. And I was like, would Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: ever be obsessed with this?
Speaker 3: It would because I was about to hijack my entire day.
Speaker 2: It was put a gun to my head and said,
Speaker 2: you know what, you're gonna do what I want you
Speaker 2: to do today, which is nothing except think about this.
Speaker 3: You're not gonna get anything done.
Speaker 2: It's a wasted day. And so looking at it through
Speaker 2: that lens did help me. Of like, and there are
Speaker 2: so many things that come up in the girl's chat
Speaker 2: that I'm in with all my friends that I'm just like, man,
Speaker 2: because that doesn't you know this thing my friend's bringing
Speaker 2: up that would never bother me.
Speaker 3: I wish I could give them.
Speaker 1: My brain for the day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, borrow it because that thing would never occur to me,
Speaker 2: and that way they could get something done today. At
Speaker 2: the end of the day, they're.
Speaker 5: Like, now I'm a swiftie, fuck it, and I'm hungry
Speaker 5: for rice cakes and cream cheese.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a little dig, but no, Yeah, I got
Speaker 2: into your sack. Okay, but I'll take it. But yeah,
Speaker 2: you're right. Like, I just feel like and I'm the
Speaker 2: same way, Like I get into self hatred things that
Speaker 2: I drop on the girl's chat where I'm just like,
Speaker 2: I hate myself today, And I'm sure there's so many
Speaker 2: I try to think about what my friends are thinking about,
Speaker 2: like when because when my friends say something crazy or
Speaker 2: like that I would never worry about, I'm always like, God,
Speaker 2: I wish they could see it my way. So I
Speaker 2: try when I'm in those moods to imagine my friend's
Speaker 2: brains and how they perceive it, and like trying to
Speaker 2: borrow their brain for the day, how.
Speaker 5: They are aising and like putting yourself in somebody else's shoes.
Speaker 2: I just want to I don't want my brain sometimes
Speaker 2: because I'm hung up on this thing that doesn't seem
Speaker 2: that no one else seems to care about.
Speaker 1: But I don't like there's any reason why someone borrowing
Speaker 1: my brain would help them.
Speaker 2: No one.
Speaker 5: Same, So what you would just be obsessed with their
Speaker 5: fucking teeth all day long and staring in the mirror
Speaker 5: and like, is this too?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been there before though, I've been there obsessing
Speaker 2: about little like like things.
Speaker 3: I was trying to think of the teeth thing for you.
Speaker 2: I was obsessed with I mean, I look back at
Speaker 2: pictures of my teeth, and I was obsessed with a
Speaker 2: tooth thing for a really long time. I was with
Speaker 2: my legs, really, and you look at other people's legs
Speaker 2: all you do all on it does. When we were
Speaker 2: watching Succession was her teeth. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: this is going to be a teeth of palooza for her.
Speaker 2: I just knew that you were still a teeth and
Speaker 2: so we were like watching Succession together, and I knew
Speaker 2: I was like in the same texting.
Speaker 3: I just knew that you were.
Speaker 2: You were trying to get out of it.
Speaker 5: I kept kept being like, I got to rewind. I
Speaker 5: missed a bunch of stuff, staring texting Nikki about what
Speaker 5: exactly teeth?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well shives, Oh they're a little darker, and she
Speaker 2: still works. I'm like, yes, I've been doing that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because when you're looking for like a new car, or
Speaker 2: you start seeing cars everywhere, you start noticing cars. When
Speaker 2: you're looking for like a new backpack, you start seeing
Speaker 2: backpacks everywhere. Like, there's our brains betray us constantly, and
Speaker 2: they're always doing little tricks, like backpacks are always everywhere.
Speaker 2: I tend to focus on them when I'm looking at
Speaker 2: backpacks or looking for a new backpack. But there, it's
Speaker 2: not like they just started showing up. You know.
Speaker 3: Wait, why are you obsessed with your legs?
Speaker 2: Brian?
Speaker 1: Your brain is an organ and it needs to be
Speaker 1: for any of the Houston or Methodist Church. Yeah, my legs,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did you guys have this growing up?
Speaker 1: Did you? Did you? Were you ever self conscious about
Speaker 1: the size of your calves? Oh? Yes, yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: My friends used to say that I was one of
Speaker 2: the gay Bower brothers because Dan Gaybauer had the largest calves.
Speaker 2: And so Carson's probably laughing right now listening to this.
Speaker 2: She would be like she would call me Dan Gaybauer
Speaker 2: because his calves were ginormous. He was like a normal
Speaker 2: sized guy, but his caves were huge. And she'd be like,
Speaker 2: and I think one time I made the joke, which
Speaker 2: is the worst, where I was like, I have the
Speaker 2: same calves as Dan Gabauer and her laughter was so
Speaker 2: confirming that it like ruined my life. You know, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I have huge calves. My calves are bigger than
Speaker 2: Andrews when we measured them.
Speaker 1: Your calves, yes, so your issue is the opposite of
Speaker 1: my issue. I felt like my legs I had little
Speaker 1: chicken legs. We should I mean, I'm I wouldn't. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of squats since then, and I
Speaker 1: think my legs are gotten a little better. But I
Speaker 1: still feel self conscious about my calves. And when I
Speaker 1: was growing up, I just I would do calf raises
Speaker 1: all the time. Oh and I just wanted my calves
Speaker 1: to get bigger.
Speaker 2: And they knew that guy on MTV who got calf implants.
Speaker 2: Did you ever see that one?
Speaker 1: Yeah they did.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was good, I.
Speaker 2: Mean not good.
Speaker 5: It looked like chicken breasts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was huge, but yeah, I could see that,
Speaker 2: Like I noticed when guys have scorny legs. It's not
Speaker 2: like I would never fuck him, but I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 2: that poor guy, because I know he's probably self conscious
Speaker 2: about like I'm just projecting.
Speaker 1: There was a picture of me with Chris in it
Speaker 1: from twenty sixteen where I was wearing these I made
Speaker 1: the I made the mistake of buying shorts from Bonobos,
Speaker 1: which is just not a good place to get shorts.
Speaker 1: And they were white, and you know, they were too short,
Speaker 1: you know how like Adam Sandler wears shorts and he's
Speaker 1: got great cats. They're long, they're long wear shorts. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can tell you name a guy, a famous person.
Speaker 1: I can tell you if they got good calves.
Speaker 2: That's interesting, that's your thing, his teeth. My thing is
Speaker 2: forehead size, nose, eyes too close together, too much fat
Speaker 2: around your back area, lower back, all my like fat arms,
Speaker 2: Like we all have our thing of like what obsessed?
Speaker 3: And know what other celebrities have?
Speaker 5: Yeah, and nobody is thinking about it. I spent I
Speaker 5: wasted so many years of my life obsessing about my
Speaker 5: ice skating calves are too big. I never should have
Speaker 5: spent seven years in the rink ice skating and development.
Speaker 5: It's like, no, who cares.
Speaker 7: Well.
Speaker 2: The thing I hated most about my legs is that
Speaker 2: they were too big, And now my legs are the
Speaker 2: most complimented thing on my entire body by a landslide,
Speaker 2: because I never used to wear shorts. I never used
Speaker 2: to wear skirts because I hated my muscular legs, and
Speaker 2: now it's the thing that is my most complimented thing.
Speaker 3: I was hiding it my whole life.
Speaker 2: I had no idea for twenty I would say, until
Speaker 2: two years ago. I started embracing my legs because I
Speaker 2: just didn't give a fuck anymore. And then I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 2: I have good legs. I had never heard that before.
Speaker 2: I had never thought of it ever. I just got
Speaker 2: made fun of for having two muscular legs.
Speaker 1: You're like a nerdy girl in an eighties movie who
Speaker 1: wears a ponytail and gold.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I took off the glasses. It's so bizarre to me.
Speaker 2: The thing I hated more than anything about myself, I
Speaker 2: always wanted my sister's legs to be taken from her
Speaker 2: in a car accident because they were so perfect, such
Speaker 2: little tiny, like she had gazelle legs, and I always
Speaker 2: wanted those legs, no fat on them. If you squeeze
Speaker 2: them as tartly as you could, there would be no cellulite.
Speaker 3: There's just none. And I was always so jealous.
Speaker 2: And Sara Lena has those kinds of legs too, and
Speaker 2: I always wanted them, And.
Speaker 3: Now, uh, that's just not.
Speaker 2: It's just so weird that it was the opposite of
Speaker 2: what I thought the whole time.
Speaker 5: It does seem like a lot of guys have calf issues.
Speaker 3: Yes they do.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, you do all these calf exercises. Some
Speaker 1: people in high school would walk around with calf weights
Speaker 1: on their ankles all day to try to get this.
Speaker 1: And then there was also.
Speaker 3: Turns into hairline.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, that's the that's the male obsessives.
Speaker 3: You guys aren't worried about like your butts like we are.
Speaker 2: We all became obsessed with butts not having one, then
Speaker 2: having one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now it was not want not not having one?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 1: What's what's good? Now? I feel like men most men
Speaker 1: that I, uh, you know, talk to about these things,
Speaker 1: they say they like big butts. Yeah, isn't that what it's?
Speaker 1: They can't lie, Yeah, I don't think they're lying to me.
Speaker 3: Well, hips don't lie and butts.
Speaker 1: Wait, are you guys worry? Do you think the ozempic
Speaker 1: thing is saying now everyone's got to have small butts?
Speaker 2: Yes, because that goes against what.
Speaker 1: The men are are are celebrating.
Speaker 2: We guess, I guess it's not about what men want,
Speaker 2: because it's like because well, the problem is, and Sailors
Speaker 2: has said it perfectly in her special if you're large
Speaker 2: enough to have a butt, you have a tummy. If
Speaker 2: you have the if you're large enough, if you eat
Speaker 2: enough to have the perfect butt, you have a tummy,
Speaker 2: and you're like your arms get sausage e. And then
Speaker 2: if you're thin enough to not have sausage arms and
Speaker 2: in a flat tummy, you have no butt. And so
Speaker 2: you can't fucking win, to quote my girl, you can't
Speaker 2: fucking win. So there's you know, it's just but that's
Speaker 2: but you can win, and it's called a BBM. And
Speaker 2: they suck the fat out of your stomach and they
Speaker 2: put it in your ass, and so that's the way
Speaker 2: to win.
Speaker 3: Yeah, documentary about that looks terrible.
Speaker 1: I think what a lot of men want in their
Speaker 1: heads and this is not what I want, f YI,
Speaker 1: But I think they want like a little thin, a
Speaker 1: rail fin waste and a huge ass cool.
Speaker 4: I think that's yes, Well, because they know boobs, do
Speaker 4: you guys not like boobs anymore.
Speaker 1: They all they want huge, gigantic boobs aint it needs
Speaker 1: to be Basically, if you were in the jungle, you
Speaker 1: would be eaten immediately because you wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: get escape anything. That's what they want.
Speaker 5: Yeah, want us disabled.
Speaker 1: They want your top heavy on the breasts and then
Speaker 1: the the waist incapable of holding them up. And then
Speaker 1: an ass that is can't get you through a thin cave.
Speaker 3: What is it about that ass that like?
Speaker 2: Because women, I mean, for so long, having a big
Speaker 2: ass was the worst thing possible. Yeah, and then it
Speaker 2: switched and I don't think in the past it's ever
Speaker 2: been desirable to have the big ass into until two
Speaker 2: thousand and eighteen. It was like the first time women
Speaker 2: were like, I want a big ass. It's not you know,
Speaker 2: usually trends come and go, like the sixties, big zass
Speaker 2: was where in I don't think they've ever been in
Speaker 2: until the Kardashians.
Speaker 1: I like it and I cannot lie. Was a huge revelation.
Speaker 1: That was a huge that was a statement at the time,
Speaker 1: like people were secretly secretly they were like, I like
Speaker 1: big butts, but I don't want to say because everyone.
Speaker 2: Like, oh yeah. They had to be ashamed about it
Speaker 2: because that was during the nineties of like the fat
Speaker 2: free phase and like wave thin girls.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole song is about you.
Speaker 2: And he's like a shame that he likes big, big butts.
Speaker 2: He's coming out about it, like like coming out of
Speaker 2: the closet. Yes and yes, and oh my god, that's
Speaker 2: crazy that it was like revelatory for someone to say that,
Speaker 2: and that's why he was like, I cannot lie.
Speaker 1: I can't lie.
Speaker 2: I'm not getting anymore funny.
Speaker 1: I like big butts.
Speaker 2: My friends, for a big ass on a woman was
Speaker 2: something to be ashamed of because it was so that
Speaker 2: not the norm. That's really interesting. I never thought about.
Speaker 1: It that what are the kinks today? What are the
Speaker 1: ones today that people want to shout from the rooftops
Speaker 1: about but they're getting pissed on?
Speaker 2: Yeah, getting pissed on anal anal?
Speaker 1: I feel like no one's no, I guess for women
Speaker 1: wanting anal, but for men saying they want anal is
Speaker 1: like as easy as saying I want a glass of water.
Speaker 2: I think it's easy. Yeah, you're supposed to have seven
Speaker 2: glasses of anal a day.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, Oh I thought you meant for men to
Speaker 5: admit they want to be pegged.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, you're man and you want to get
Speaker 1: pegged that.
Speaker 2: I think it used to be gay to say you
Speaker 2: wanted to fuck someone in the ass, like a woman
Speaker 2: in the ass. Like guys were like kind of ashamed
Speaker 2: of Oh really, I didn't know that, Like what, but
Speaker 2: why is it so normal now? And it wasn't normal before?
Speaker 2: What was so shamed shameful about it? Then?
Speaker 1: I can't I don't know, but I can only speak
Speaker 1: to the trends I'm I'm sensing.
Speaker 2: I think it's porn obviously. Oh yeah, like anil is
Speaker 2: just ubiquitous impornt.
Speaker 1: It's definitely furry stuff is gone the up and up.
Speaker 1: Furry and anime stuff is on the rise. I don't know.
Speaker 2: There's sometimes some animation, animated stuff on porn where I go.
Speaker 2: This ad is almost getting me because it's like a
Speaker 2: giant man and a tiny little girl, like not girl,
Speaker 2: but like a tiny like it'll be like a cartoonishly,
Speaker 2: it'll be like an ape man, like a giant, giant,
Speaker 2: like it'll be like a monster, like a King Kong
Speaker 2: fucking a little tiny woman like on the top of
Speaker 2: the Empire state building. And I like it, even though
Speaker 2: he's like tearing her up, and I'm like, what the
Speaker 2: fuck is wrong with me? Like now I need cartoons
Speaker 2: because nothing, no human can even give me what I
Speaker 2: want to see anymore. I haven't watched porn in a
Speaker 2: really long time. Actually, I'm pretty proud of my and
Speaker 2: I'm not proud of myself. Actually I kind of miss it.
Speaker 1: Thinks it's so gay. Check out the landscape because it
Speaker 1: is there the advancements in porn technology a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Kidding me, Yes, they're always the ones that are ahead
Speaker 1: of everybody else when they're adopting technology like like you know,
Speaker 1: like like deep fakes. You know that was porn first.
Speaker 2: Yes, we all just what a fuck thing? I mean,
Speaker 2: because guess what. Sex leads everything. And that's why it's
Speaker 2: like so bizarre to me that we can't talk about
Speaker 2: it openly because it literally is every it's everything that
Speaker 2: anyone is motivated by. And if you are a sexual, sex,
Speaker 2: the fact that you don't want sex is something that's
Speaker 2: on the forefront of your mind a lot like yes,
Speaker 2: really defines who you are, So even if sex is
Speaker 2: not something that they're interested in, it defines who you
Speaker 2: are the merreor fact that other people want it and
Speaker 2: you don't.
Speaker 3: So sex is everything.
Speaker 1: Did you know that the first successful full heart transplant
Speaker 1: was done in a porn No, it wasn't. Just kidding,
Speaker 1: this is the technology thing, I would say. I couldn't
Speaker 1: think of any example of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the polio vaccine.
Speaker 1: Was It was invented by Ron Jeremy nineteen seventy three.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's all uh yeah, but I haven't
Speaker 2: I haven't dabbled in that in a while.
Speaker 1: Are you worried about deep fakes? No? I would.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I am just on a like people
Speaker 2: putting my face in porn. No, I'm not worried about
Speaker 2: it on a personal level, but on a level of
Speaker 2: like for the ar media and like the truth yes,
Speaker 2: deeply and chat GPT. I mean people, I don't know
Speaker 2: anything about this, so this is kind of like a
Speaker 2: we know nothing segment. But people who do know about
Speaker 2: advancements in AI and the threat they pose to humanity
Speaker 2: are so fucking alarmed at Chat GPT. They one expert
Speaker 2: that was on the Sam Harris podcast I was trying
Speaker 2: to listen to, but I couldn't understand half of what
Speaker 2: they were saying because they're so smart, said that he
Speaker 2: thought it was going to be twenty or thirty years
Speaker 2: from now by the time that that chat GBT is
Speaker 2: something like that would exist. And he is an expert
Speaker 2: in this field, and he says it is happening at
Speaker 2: such an alarming rate. I mean, every job is going
Speaker 2: to be replaced by this eventually that you can literally
Speaker 2: type in chat GBT, write a joke in the about
Speaker 2: traffic Cones in the style of Nicki Glazer, and it
Speaker 2: will write a better joke than I could.
Speaker 1: No, it won't.
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, you don't know.
Speaker 3: What I've been into these days.
Speaker 1: I'll do that right now and we'll see what Joe.
Speaker 1: I guarantee you it. Yeah, I have it. I use
Speaker 1: I am on the forefront of all this, a Cones
Speaker 1: trashal I got to log in, so I need there's time.
Speaker 2: We'll give you a second. Okay, So last night I
Speaker 2: went over to my mom's house, and my mom's they're
Speaker 2: not divorcing, so but you know, we know about marriage
Speaker 2: and property and she's her name's on it, and we
Speaker 2: start watching The Depoted and because it was just on,
Speaker 2: we tried to watch and we watched one episode of Intervention,
Speaker 2: but we were both like crying by the end of
Speaker 2: it because it was bringing up old wounds I think of, like,
Speaker 2: you know, just you know, when I almost died and stuff.
Speaker 2: So we were I think we both were like, let's
Speaker 2: not watch anymore. Even though Katie did live. At the end,
Speaker 2: we thought, I thought, you ever try to predict on Intervention,
Speaker 2: like is this person gonna be okay?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 5: They die?
Speaker 2: Sometimes no, they just like leave treatment or they relapse
Speaker 2: right right right, you know, like at the end, it'll
Speaker 2: tell you they relapsed after ninety two days or whatever
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 5: As drug of choice, Katie.
Speaker 2: Heroin and crack, and she was so smart. And this
Speaker 2: girl is twenty eight and she started doing heroin. She
Speaker 2: was like like she's been doing it for like thirteen years.
Speaker 2: And she lives with her boyfriend who she doesn't even
Speaker 2: fuck anymore, and he's just giving her a heroin because
Speaker 2: he loves her so much and like doesn't want her
Speaker 2: to struggle and get sick, and because she's such a nag,
Speaker 2: but he doesn't even they don't even fuck anymore. She
Speaker 2: just he's a drug dealer, so he has it, and
Speaker 2: I guess he doesn't have a problem with it because
Speaker 2: he's like fine kind of.
Speaker 3: But her family hates her so much.
Speaker 2: She has been in rehab thirteen times and they've done
Speaker 2: that many interventions for her. So the family is just
Speaker 2: the sister called intervention the TV show. It is like, please,
Speaker 2: can we do this? And the family's like, we're not
Speaker 2: doing this same more. We're done with her. It's over.
Speaker 2: And I've never seen a family so like, I have
Speaker 2: to move on. She's dead to me because she is already.
Speaker 2: She's gonna die, she's never gonna change. And they all
Speaker 2: finally convince the mom because the mom's like, I can't
Speaker 2: be hurt anymore. I have to let her go, and
Speaker 2: they convinced her to do it, and they confronted her
Speaker 2: and she went, but she was like, I have to
Speaker 2: go home first, and they're like why. She's like, I'll
Speaker 2: go to treatment. I have to go home first, and
Speaker 2: they're like why, Katie, why and she's like, well, because
Speaker 2: I need to get my things and they're like, we'll
Speaker 2: get your things for you tell us what you need
Speaker 2: and she's like, they go, do you need to go
Speaker 2: home because you want to use and she's like yes,
Speaker 2: of course, gonna do it again. And they're like, you
Speaker 2: know what, Okay, we'll let you go. And it was
Speaker 2: nice because I thought that I thought they're gonna lose
Speaker 2: her because they won't you, they won't let She was like,
Speaker 2: I already showed up to this thing with not enough
Speaker 2: heroin in my system because I thought I was signing
Speaker 2: a paper. You guys told me signing a paper, so
Speaker 2: I only did enough to get through signing a paper.
Speaker 2: I'm already freaking out. And it was like, let her
Speaker 2: go do some h and then she'll go. And she
Speaker 2: went to treatment, and like ninety days later, she's a
Speaker 2: lot like she is fat on her body again and
Speaker 2: she's just kind of like and I don't even want
Speaker 2: to google it because this was in twenty fourteen. But
Speaker 2: I don't think Katie made it. And I want her
Speaker 2: to make it more than anything, but I just don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was like her mom, I was like,
Speaker 2: I've lost oping this girl, but I really hope she
Speaker 2: did because she was so smart. Usually people on those
Speaker 2: shows are so like they're set. They're always smart, like
Speaker 2: heroin addicts are usually like very intelligent, and drug addicts are.
Speaker 2: They're usually smarter people than you would think, but you
Speaker 2: wouldn't know because their brains are fried. But she was
Speaker 2: like everything she did, she was like, oh, I know,
Speaker 2: my life isn't good. I'm doing a documentary right now
Speaker 2: to be an example for people not to do drugs.
Speaker 2: So things aren't great for me. And then she goes
Speaker 2: and like, nady she yet I told her mom, I go,
Speaker 2: I listened to this girl's podcast. She was so self reflective.
Speaker 2: I really liked her. But I don't even want to
Speaker 2: google it because I don't want to know. There's several
Speaker 2: Katies on intervention, so don't tell me. But I want
Speaker 2: to believe she made it.
Speaker 5: But I just type in a joke about traffic cone
Speaker 5: is done by Katie from a intervention.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's find out if she is dead.
Speaker 2: I know. The problem was she was never gonna it
Speaker 2: was there's some people that like it won't kill like
Speaker 2: she was just not. She still looked beautiful, she still
Speaker 2: had all her hair.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, there's so many functioning heroin addicts.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: But she but she would. She wasn't even getting high anymore.
Speaker 2: The intake people were like, she doesn't get high anymore,
Speaker 2: she just gets not sick. So she was totally lucid.
Speaker 2: It was just like she just wasn't throwing up. She
Speaker 2: was never like what's up, guys, nodding off or anything.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: It was awful and she was so aware of it.
Speaker 2: It was a really good episode. I think was season thirteen,
Speaker 2: episode one. It's on Hulu. Okay, Bright, what did this?
Speaker 2: What did it say?
Speaker 1: I'm failing miserably. It's not letting me log in.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Oh my god, just remember I'm.
Speaker 1: It's saying oops, it just keeps saying, which is it? No,
Speaker 1: it's just free. It's still free.
Speaker 2: Wait, you can just get chat ept for free.
Speaker 1: Yes, you can just get it for free. But I'm
Speaker 1: telling you this, it's not as good as you think.
Speaker 1: And Okay, I would not worry that much about AI
Speaker 1: or replacing everything.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to be replaced, honestly, I want to
Speaker 2: You know what can't replace a bird rescue, which is
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do as soon as this job
Speaker 2: is taken from me. I'm gonna just rescue animals and
Speaker 2: robots can't do that yet, so I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of the WGA because we are fighting
Speaker 1: to get some rules set in place for Have you
Speaker 1: been on the picket lines. I've been on the picket lines.
Speaker 1: I've been picketing every day. Here do you go? I'm
Speaker 1: not every day, but almost every day. I go. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky because I live within walking distance of
Speaker 1: Amazon and Sony, so I can just walk to either
Speaker 1: of those lots whenever. That's the vibe there, vibe is great.
Speaker 1: I love Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yesterday, Cheryl Hines, where is everything.
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 3: He's like the spearhead of that. He's the face of this.
Speaker 1: He was on the negotiating committee, he was elected to
Speaker 1: be a board member.
Speaker 3: He's amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, he has to say about it, like put
Speaker 2: a microphone in front of the guy Adam Conover, who
Speaker 2: Brian writes for currently for his YouTube channel.
Speaker 3: Right you still do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, he that guy is the best. So you
Speaker 2: So Cheryl Hines showed up.
Speaker 1: Cheryl Hines was on the line at Amazon yesterday and
Speaker 1: I got and there was She wanted to take a
Speaker 1: group photo with a bunch of picketers. I wouldn't go
Speaker 1: up to her and start talking to her. That's inappropriate.
Speaker 1: But she wanted to take a group photo and then
Speaker 1: she waved me over and I was in it. I'm
Speaker 1: in a group photo. There's a chance I might show
Speaker 1: up on her Instagram page. Oh my god. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: Harry at the Netflix studios yesterday day.
Speaker 3: The show with Cheryl Hines. She's so nice?
Speaker 1: Oh you did? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I did a game show with her like six months
Speaker 2: ago and she was lovely to me. And that was
Speaker 2: the game show I talked about on the show where
Speaker 2: there was one person who was not nice and I'll
Speaker 2: show I will. I can't wait to book her and
Speaker 2: then cancel her and go. It was because you were
Speaker 2: route to me on that one show we did. And
Speaker 2: now you can probably figure out who it is, because
Speaker 2: if that show comes out, it's not Cheryl Hines. There's
Speaker 2: two other women on it too, So now I feel
Speaker 2: bad because one of them is nice and you won't
Speaker 2: know which one Wasn't that cool or yeah. So anyway,
Speaker 2: here's my thing. How many days, how many hours are
Speaker 2: you are you walking around?
Speaker 1: They oblige you, that's what they say, to walk for
Speaker 1: four hours a day, Monday through Friday, I'm not sure
Speaker 1: everybody's doing it.
Speaker 2: Are you doing that? I will not.
Speaker 1: Friends, Well that's the thing. No, they go, I go, well,
Speaker 1: So the first day I did it. I just want
Speaker 1: to say quickly that at Netflix yesterday, imagine dragons showed up.
Speaker 1: That's what I saw that and they did a free
Speaker 1: concert for the right. No. I was at Amazon.
Speaker 2: Who's there?
Speaker 1: It seems like, yeah, showed up and they begged us
Speaker 1: for money, and I was like, this is not but
Speaker 1: it's it's really I feel very proud of the union
Speaker 1: and I'm it's fun. But I go there and the
Speaker 1: first day I showed up, I had I have no friends.
Speaker 1: I didn't know anybody that was out there. I was
Speaker 1: kind of surprised, but it's because everybody that I know
Speaker 1: is on the east side, is in Hipsterville, and I'm
Speaker 1: now on the west side. So the east side is
Speaker 1: like where all the writers that I would know would
Speaker 1: be picketing and.
Speaker 3: Make friends and go, hey, what are you write?
Speaker 1: So the first day I didn't talk to anybody. I
Speaker 1: walked around in a circle. I felt very lonely.
Speaker 3: For four hours or some therein.
Speaker 1: Some some amount that would keep me obliged to the union, yes.
Speaker 1: And the second day I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I am going to talk to somebody. So I did
Speaker 1: a couple of laps with the picket with the picket line,
Speaker 1: and I just looked for people who are also alone. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: And I found a guy and I walked up to
Speaker 1: him and I said, Hello, do you want to talk
Speaker 1: or was you rather walking?
Speaker 2: Like an ai that's the problem, Okay, you said would
Speaker 2: you rather talk or walk in?
Speaker 1: I said, hello, do you want to talk or would
Speaker 1: you rather walk in silence? That's open And he thought
Speaker 1: about it and he said, you know what, I'll talk.
Speaker 1: So then we wound up talking. And now every day
Speaker 1: since I've talked to a different person on the line.
Speaker 3: By saying that line.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they they talk to me.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Brian, you're very personable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I would be lucky to be next to
Speaker 2: you in a picket line.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We talk, and you know, we talk about all
Speaker 1: sorts of shit. We get deep fast too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I guess it's like it's you gotta be out
Speaker 2: there if you're not working, like I would probably be
Speaker 2: out there if I've lived in La Yeah, doing it.
Speaker 1: But well, it's such a great situation because you know,
Speaker 1: you're going up. It's like you're going up to a
Speaker 1: person and you're asking them to talk, and you know
Speaker 1: that you have to be there for hours, and so
Speaker 1: it's not like you're talking to someone and you're like, God,
Speaker 1: I wish I could just leave. Why do I have
Speaker 1: to be here? You have to be there. So you're
Speaker 1: like guaranteed at a certain amount of time talking to somebody, but.
Speaker 2: You could just kind of lap them or something, or
Speaker 2: kind of like mosey back or go, oh, I got
Speaker 2: to tie my shoe and like find someone else.
Speaker 1: That happened once, and it was really embarrassing. Why well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I was this person tried to get away
Speaker 1: from you. Yes, this person came up to me. She
Speaker 1: was like drama or comedy and I was like, oh, comedy.
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's the opener.
Speaker 1: That's the drama. Comedy and I was like, oh, comedy,
Speaker 1: and she's like oh and then I guess the conversation
Speaker 1: it only lasted like less than two minutes because then
Speaker 1: she was like, all right, I gotta go, and then
Speaker 1: she saw some oh, hi, Lindsay or whatever, and she
Speaker 1: got away from me as fast as possible.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: I didn't say anything that would cause her to do that.
Speaker 1: It was just she sussed out the.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe she was interested in you, and you came
Speaker 2: up that you were engaged.
Speaker 3: That would make me. Oh it didn't.
Speaker 2: No, I think you saw your wedding.
Speaker 1: She looked at im half wage. I think it was like,
Speaker 1: this guy is not worth my time.
Speaker 2: Oh right, she just privately googled it real quick or
Speaker 2: reddited it. Okay, we'll be back with reddit dump after this.
Speaker 2: All right, we're back. Let's do reddit dump. This is
Speaker 2: your redit dump. Okay, why do Oh? These are the
Speaker 2: dumbest celebrity tweets. So it's from pop culture Chat. It
Speaker 2: says dumbest celebrity tweet, and it's Bbi Rexa, who I
Speaker 2: played against her family and family feud and she was
Speaker 2: very lovely, but she had a dumb tweet that I
Speaker 2: probably would have made the same mistake, it said. So
Speaker 2: she's responding to a tweet that says if you had
Speaker 2: the chance to time travel, where would you go? And
Speaker 2: she wrote, I would go to Paris nineteen forties. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, that's just someone who grew up being a
Speaker 2: pop star.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's hope so okay, yeah, no kidding, Um, Okay.
Speaker 2: So in the comments, though, is where people listed all
Speaker 2: other celebrity tweets that they loved, and there were some
Speaker 2: good ones.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this.
Speaker 2: One said, uh, not so much dumb as poorly timed,
Speaker 2: but I still cackle when I think of the time
Speaker 2: The Weekend tweeted, let's go just as Russia bombed you craye. Okay,
Speaker 2: lindsay this. Someone posted Lizzie Lohan's tweet. She said, why
Speaker 2: is everyone in such a panic about hurricane I'm calling
Speaker 2: it Sally in parentheses. Stop projecting negativity, think positive and
Speaker 2: pray for peace. Oh my god, Oh this one was painful.
Speaker 2: This is from Rita Aura, who I also I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't mean to name drop, but I'm also on
Speaker 2: a show with her. Last week on Thursday's celeb Game
Speaker 2: Face with My Mom on E we played against Rita
Speaker 2: Aura and her sister. But this is Rita Aura. She said,
Speaker 2: dropping my new song Monday. If this gets one hundred
Speaker 2: thousand retweets, it has eighteen hundred retweets, like purposely did
Speaker 2: it and she people said, biggest secondhand embarrassment I've ever
Speaker 2: had for a celeb, the fact that she pretended she
Speaker 2: was hacked because she was nowhere near the rt amount
Speaker 2: she said, she said, she pretended she was hacked. Oh
Speaker 2: this one is so good. Okay, So asap Ferg. So
Speaker 2: someone posted about acep Ferg. He goes acept Ferg announces
Speaker 2: the name of his forthcoming album, and then there's a
Speaker 2: link an acep for responds second and then the guy
Speaker 2: writes back, sorry, if there is an inaccuracy somewhere, something
Speaker 2: we need to fix, and he goes, you said fourth
Speaker 2: coming album, it's only the second. Oh, no, cute, that's
Speaker 2: a cute one. Then Joel Austin, you know that fucking hick, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: who didn't let hurricane you know, victims stay at his compound, which,
Speaker 2: by the way, I was kind of thinking about that,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't know if i'd want
Speaker 2: a bunch of hurricane victims at my house either, But
Speaker 2: maybe I'm reading it wrong, Like I remember everyone was
Speaker 2: so mad at Joel. I hate Joel Austin because he's
Speaker 2: obviously a smart enough guy to know that what he's
Speaker 2: preaching is not true, and he's you know, a charlatan
Speaker 2: and a corrupt person. But I don't know that I
Speaker 2: want a bunch of fucking displays Hurricane refuge Us at
Speaker 2: my beautiful compound either. But I would do it because
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be a dick. But you can't
Speaker 2: blame the guy. Am I wrong?
Speaker 1: No tricking all those people, They're not tricking.
Speaker 2: No, for just not he the biggest thing that people
Speaker 2: get mad about him. Yeah, they said, remember when Joel
Speaker 2: Austin refused to let victims of Hurricane Harvey into his
Speaker 2: church and it can hold like fifteen thousand people after
Speaker 2: they've been flooded out of their homes. He saw what happened
Speaker 2: to the fucking super Dome in New Orleans. He turned
Speaker 2: into like a homeless camp. I'm sorry, it's a church.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the whole point of welcome in the
Speaker 1: you know, the the people who are suffering. It's like
Speaker 1: if it was that would be different. Which was like
Speaker 1: a lot which is like a Curb your Enthusiasm storyline,
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of money that goes into that
Speaker 2: church to make a nice I hate this guy. I
Speaker 2: want to be clear. I think he is the devil.
Speaker 2: I think he's a bad person. Every time I say
Speaker 2: him on TV, I just go uugh, Yeah, but I
Speaker 2: don't kind of blame him for this because it would
Speaker 2: have been completely trashed. But I guess you're just supposed
Speaker 2: to allow that. I guess the church it's a really
Speaker 2: nice and they have enough money to rebuild, Okay, so keep.
Speaker 5: Their doors locked and so fuck them. They really yeah,
Speaker 5: but it's been for decades. It's like, why doesn't Why
Speaker 5: don't churches have open doors because they.
Speaker 2: Because the homeless need places to go, and they'll it'll
Speaker 2: get trashed, don't We want to keep things nice sometimes?
Speaker 3: But like, I also don't know what what do you
Speaker 3: think the solution is?
Speaker 5: Go to Joelastines.
Speaker 1: The reason why it's upsetting is because it's hypocritical. It
Speaker 1: goes against what he's preaching. He's like, you know, help
Speaker 1: people turn the other cheek, Jesus, all that stuff, charity, charity,
Speaker 1: the Cross, he says all those things, and then he
Speaker 1: SAIDs and then and then when it comes time to
Speaker 1: put his money where his mouth is, he doesn't do it.
Speaker 2: Yes, but there's also the thing of like it would
Speaker 2: have gotten trashed. I mean, I just I want someone
Speaker 2: who's smarter than all four of us to weigh in
Speaker 2: on this, because I don't see why wanting to protect
Speaker 2: something that a lot of money and effort has been
Speaker 2: put into building. I mean, maybe you make it hurricane
Speaker 2: like refugee accessible, and like you build it so that
Speaker 2: it can like with that in mind that someday this
Speaker 2: is going to be a place where people are going
Speaker 2: to need to go. I don't know. None of us
Speaker 2: open our homes to victims of things. So not that
Speaker 2: it's his home. I know it's his church, but like
Speaker 2: you don't open would you want them? Would you go
Speaker 2: to a gym that you is your gym, that your
Speaker 2: business that you run, or like your business your cafe
Speaker 2: and let people sleep there.
Speaker 5: But it's a disaster where they supposed to go.
Speaker 6: It's temporary, temporary disaster. It's not like this the government.
Speaker 6: It is supposed to come tax dollars. Yes, So I'm
Speaker 6: not defending to Laustine. Actually I kind of am.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's wrong with what the fuck is
Speaker 2: happening you guys? Oh my god, don't jacket home? Okay,
Speaker 2: So Joel Austin says, this is the tweet that is
Speaker 2: a embarrassing. A true friend walks in when everybody walks out. Okay,
Speaker 2: that's hilarious. A true friend doesn't rub it in. When
Speaker 2: you make a mistake, they rub it out.
Speaker 4: Oh masturbation, Joe, Oh yeah, that's a good friend.
Speaker 2: Doctor Phil tweeted once in twenty thirteen, if a girl
Speaker 2: is drunk, is it okay to have sex with her?
Speaker 2: Reply yes or no to doctor Phil hashtag teen's accused.
Speaker 2: It just seems like he's asking, he's asking for his show. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but also I don't know. Again, I found nothing wrong
Speaker 2: with this tweet because it's asking if a girl is
Speaker 2: a kneebri and it people. I think people are shocked
Speaker 2: by this because they're like, of course, it's not okay.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, no one would be conceived if our dads
Speaker 2: didn't fuck a girl who had been a little bit
Speaker 2: drunk or drunk. I just don't believe that people have sex.
Speaker 2: I think it's do you know what I'm saying? Maybe
Speaker 2: I'm wrong.
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I begging to get canceled?
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Wait, can you you're saying look into what you're saying?
Speaker 1: We were would?
Speaker 2: He says, if a girl is drunk, is it okay
Speaker 2: to have sex with her? I think people are upset
Speaker 2: about this tweet because they're like, of course it's not
Speaker 2: okay to have sex with a girl that's drunk.
Speaker 4: I think it's the reply yes or no, I don't
Speaker 4: know for some reason, like it's fun have a different yes.
Speaker 5: It sounds like he's checking before he takes action.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why it's funny. But I think people are
Speaker 2: offended because they're like, of course it's not okay. But
Speaker 2: I would say, yes, it's okay to have sex with
Speaker 2: a girl who's drunk. But also this is I mean again,
Speaker 2: I'm this is another thing that is a sticky situation.
Speaker 2: But I think most people who have sex the girl
Speaker 2: is drunk, like, as long as she consents, yes, But
Speaker 2: then what if she's like yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if she's like the Love is Blind person,
Speaker 1: then can you have what do you mean yes, no,
Speaker 1: the girl from Love is blind? You were with the bagh.
Speaker 1: It depends what It reaches a level where it's not
Speaker 1: okay any.
Speaker 2: By the way, whereas alcohol makes you do stupid things,
Speaker 2: alcohol is a retardant. I don't think that's the right
Speaker 2: word for it, because there retarded to some of the
Speaker 2: pressent flames out. It is, well, it's not it's not
Speaker 2: only the present. It makes you stupid er. It makes
Speaker 2: you dumber. That's why you do things that are hash
Speaker 2: like or quote unquote brave almost aid hashtag brave. That's
Speaker 2: why you do things that you're like, oh, liquid courage.
Speaker 2: It's not because it makes you courageous. It makes your
Speaker 2: your sense of fear and observing things around you. It
Speaker 2: diminishes those things so that you are able to step
Speaker 2: out on that ledge, you are able to say that
Speaker 2: thing to that person. It's not because you're like suddenly
Speaker 2: have self esteem enough to do that.
Speaker 3: You're just stupider. So why is it okay?
Speaker 2: Then if girls get stupid, like, they'll only fuck you
Speaker 2: if they get stupider? Isn't that shouldn't that be wrong
Speaker 2: than any amount that makes you dumber?
Speaker 3: And unless with it?
Speaker 5: He should have asked, is it okay to have sex
Speaker 5: with someone borderline unconscious?
Speaker 1: He should have asked, is it okay to have sex
Speaker 1: with someone who just got their pH d?
Speaker 3: Oh because they got smarter?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That really bombed, man.
Speaker 2: I mean I saw the logic of it right that
Speaker 2: for you?
Speaker 1: Okay, I do. I just I was able to log
Speaker 1: into chat EPT and I was able to ask it
Speaker 1: in case we would go back to that. Yes, please,
Speaker 1: I have I have five Nikki Laser jokes about traffic cones. Okay,
Speaker 1: Number one, traffic cones are like the Kardashians of the road.
Speaker 1: They're everywhere, they're distracting, and no one knows why they're famous.
Speaker 1: The problem is, traffic cones are not famous.
Speaker 2: Are not famous. But listen, I thought that the first
Speaker 2: two were good. Yeah, they're everywhere, they're distracting. Let's come
Speaker 2: up with a better one.
Speaker 1: And and uh and no one knows why they're so orange.
Speaker 2: Oh that's good.
Speaker 5: I like that.
Speaker 3: This is why you're on the pick.
Speaker 1: Everywhere.
Speaker 2: Protect that talent, all right, all righting them up your
Speaker 2: ass or something. And then I was like, well, that's
Speaker 2: not what the Kardashians do.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're distracting.
Speaker 5: And they almost exclusively date black people.
Speaker 1: The other jokes, you know what's worse than hitting a pothole?
Speaker 1: Hitting a traffic cone. At least with a pothole, you
Speaker 1: can pretend you're off roading. With a traffic cone. You
Speaker 1: just look like a drunk driver.
Speaker 2: What I like it.
Speaker 1: I dare you, without context, to go on stage and
Speaker 1: try one of these. Joe, don't tell them it's chat ept.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. This ship is not good.
Speaker 2: It's not good. It's that's not good.
Speaker 1: I don't trust.
Speaker 2: Traffic because we used to Hold on, wait, let me
Speaker 2: just go back to that joke. So a traffic cone. Wait,
Speaker 2: say it again. So when you feel like.
Speaker 1: What's worse than a hitting a pothole? Hitting a traffic cone.
Speaker 1: At least a pothole, you can pretend you're off roading
Speaker 1: with a traffic cone. There's lots like a trunk driver.
Speaker 3: But there's logic behind that.
Speaker 1: Because it's copying your logic, it's plagiarizing you.
Speaker 3: I know, I like it.
Speaker 5: I'm not off roading. A pothole is in the road,
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: But I can feel like because you're like bouncing like
Speaker 2: into this pothole, you can feel like you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm rugged rugged terrain.
Speaker 3: Like that makes sense to me.
Speaker 1: You know, what's worse than hitting a pothole is what
Speaker 1: getting killed? At Least when you get killed, you can
Speaker 1: pretend you're stop.
Speaker 2: I am defending chat ept. They picked two things that
Speaker 2: happen on the road to compare them. It kind of
Speaker 2: makes sense. The only problem is you don't hit traffic
Speaker 2: cones that often, and there's no there's no reason to
Speaker 2: compare them.
Speaker 1: You've defended Olstein, you've defended doctor Phil's date rape, and
Speaker 1: now you're defending.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just want to open a bird rescue.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't trust traffic cones. They're always telling me
Speaker 1: to go slow, but they never offer to pay me
Speaker 1: for my speeding ticket. What the fuck?
Speaker 2: I love this so much, it's my special friend.
Speaker 1: Is this kind of insulting because this is what it
Speaker 1: thinks the nicky Glazer joke is No, it's good.
Speaker 2: I have the on version one. It's so cute. It's
Speaker 2: like a kid like learning how to do comedy or
Speaker 2: something like. It totally sounds like a five year old like,
Speaker 2: and that's funny. That one is the best one of
Speaker 2: the three because traffic cones do wait, so they never
Speaker 2: so they trust make you go So it doesn't make
Speaker 2: sense reason traffic cone they're always telling.
Speaker 1: You to go slow, but then oh but then they
Speaker 1: never offer to pay for your speeding tickets.
Speaker 2: Look, if that does not make sense, No, in chat
Speaker 2: GPT's mind, going slow and speeding are the same thing,
Speaker 2: and it's equating. Well, it would make sense if it's said,
Speaker 2: but it never plays for your tickets. When you get
Speaker 2: pulled over for going too slow. Yeah, no, like it's
Speaker 2: it's thinking a speeding ticket is like a ticket you
Speaker 2: can get for going too slow, which I guess is
Speaker 2: a thing, but we would not call it that.
Speaker 1: There is a stand up comedy robot. Did you know this?
Speaker 1: A Japanese I think robot.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've seen those on YouTube.
Speaker 1: It does. It's a literal, physical form mechanical robot that
Speaker 1: goes on stage and it tells jokes. And the scary
Speaker 1: thing about the robot is that it can tell jokes,
Speaker 1: unlimited jokes every second, and soon it will be able
Speaker 1: to have AI audience members, so it's like it can
Speaker 1: tell it can test out unlimited jokes at nauseum two
Speaker 1: unlimited audience members, so it might actually be able.
Speaker 2: To come up with the GTP would laugh at that
Speaker 2: joke that was just told, right, because it doesn't know
Speaker 2: it wrote it, So why would it not think? Why
Speaker 2: would it be able to judge whether it's good or not.
Speaker 1: It's tough when it comes to humor taste.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, this is one more tweet that is really funny.
Speaker 2: So some performer called Shad Moss, I guess I don't
Speaker 2: know who that is it said Travel Day NYC press
Speaker 2: run for Growing Up Hip Hop. Let's go, I promised
Speaker 2: to bring you all the hottest show ever May twenty
Speaker 2: fifth on we TV. And it shows a picture of him.
Speaker 2: He's just taking a picture, you can't see him in
Speaker 2: it of a private jet. And then someone on Snapchat
Speaker 2: posted that guy and he says, so, this guy, little
Speaker 2: bow Wow, I guess that's little bow Wow is Shad
Speaker 2: Shad Moss. He goes, so this guy little bow Wow
Speaker 2: is on my flight to New York. But on Instagram
Speaker 2: he posted a picture of private jet caption traveling to
Speaker 2: New York today.
Speaker 1: Ha ha ha.
Speaker 2: And he's like, you see him, You see him like
Speaker 2: looking at his post on his phone, like in on
Speaker 2: a Southwest flight in the back. It's so good. And
Speaker 2: then yeah, that's so sad. I know. Let's go to
Speaker 2: final thought. Noah, I want you to play the one
Speaker 2: where the guy's talking in his car. And this is
Speaker 2: labeled how to keep someone from getting defensive in an argument.
Speaker 7: These three responses will keep somebody from getting defensive. My
Speaker 7: name is Jefferson Fisher. I'm a trial attorney, and I
Speaker 7: teach people how to argue and communicate when it's your
Speaker 7: turn to respond in an argument. You can actually keep
Speaker 7: somebody from getting defensive. If you want, start with what
Speaker 7: you agree with. Now you don't actually even have to
Speaker 7: agree with what they said. You can go macro and
Speaker 7: just agree that the two of you are talking. For example,
Speaker 7: you can see I agree that this subject is worth discussing,
Speaker 7: or I agree that we should talk about this. As
Speaker 7: long as you use use the words I agree, you
Speaker 7: automatically bring down their wall.
Speaker 1: Number two, tell them what you've learned.
Speaker 7: It can be as easy as after listening I've learned
Speaker 7: that this topic is really important to you. As long
Speaker 7: as they hear the phrase I have learned, it makes
Speaker 7: them feel like they're educating, like they're understood. In other
Speaker 7: less defensive or Number three, you can try using the
Speaker 7: phrase that's helpful to know. If you tell them that
Speaker 7: they've been helpful, it makes them feel like they're invested
Speaker 7: in their own mutual understanding, and then they're going to
Speaker 7: be more receptive to what you have to say.
Speaker 1: So try that and follow me.
Speaker 2: How good are How simple and kind of manipulative are
Speaker 2: all of those?
Speaker 1: I know I can see it working. I that it
Speaker 1: would work because that they managed just like, how yeah,
Speaker 1: how dumb are people easily tricked? You could be like,
Speaker 1: I agree with you, you're a dumb piece of shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've learned today that I've learned a lot from you.
Speaker 1: That you're stupid and I hate you.
Speaker 2: But he even says like things, I agree we're talking
Speaker 2: about this, Yeah, just to say that is so funny
Speaker 2: to me that we're both inhaling oxygen right now and
Speaker 2: our hearts are muscles.
Speaker 1: That is good to find a place of common ground
Speaker 1: at least a start.
Speaker 5: Yes, I mean women do this all the time. You
Speaker 5: read a dating book and it teaches you how to talk,
Speaker 5: and you're like, ugh, I have to learn how to
Speaker 5: be Like, you're right about this idea I actually had.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do find this to be very helpful in
Speaker 2: talking to men. But or I mean, I think i'd
Speaker 2: see through this. I would want this a little bit more.
Speaker 2: And like when I'm in arguments of someone doing these
Speaker 2: things for me and saying what they've learned or what
Speaker 2: they understand. But I do this. This is this is
Speaker 2: how I commune. Like if I get into a tiff
Speaker 2: with my beloved, I always try to say I always
Speaker 2: try to see his side of things and explain to
Speaker 2: him what his side of things is so that I.
Speaker 3: Don't have to hear it anymore.
Speaker 2: And so that he knows I get it, you know,
Speaker 2: like I want to. But at the same time, they
Speaker 2: don't like to be interrupted, so you might have to
Speaker 2: listen to it again fully, and then you can take
Speaker 2: a beat and go, here's what I think you've said.
Speaker 2: But I also find that sometimes that doesn't actually work
Speaker 2: because they'll you know, and I've done this before too,
Speaker 2: where you hear someone repeat you know. For instance, recently,
Speaker 2: I was like upset about something that someone texted me,
Speaker 2: and I didn't just let it slide. I was like,
Speaker 2: that wasn't cool or funny or something. I replied like
Speaker 2: I don't like it, and the person said, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean it that way.
Speaker 2: And I was so proud of myself because what I
Speaker 2: did start typing back was yeah, that really hurt because
Speaker 2: of bubblah. I was gonna explain all of my feelings again.
Speaker 2: I didn't explain my feelings at first. I just go,
Speaker 2: that's kind of that didn't feel good to read or whatever,
Speaker 2: and then the person apologized, and then I was going
Speaker 2: to go because and you know why.
Speaker 3: It didn't feel good.
Speaker 2: But after that gave me the apology, and I was
Speaker 2: writing all this stuff explaining why exactly that did hurt me,
Speaker 2: even though they just acknowledged I'm sorry, I didn't mean
Speaker 2: it that way, and I go, why do I need
Speaker 2: to send this? Just I want to do what I
Speaker 2: want from others, which is when I apologize and say
Speaker 2: I get it, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way,
Speaker 2: they forgive me and move on. They don't keep going
Speaker 2: back to it and going because it did hurt that
Speaker 2: you said it like this, and that did make me
Speaker 2: like I understand, needing to be understood and feeling like, okay,
Speaker 2: they don't really get it.
Speaker 3: They're saying they get it, but I need to repeat it.
Speaker 2: But I was really proud of myself to erase that
Speaker 2: entire message I was going to send, explaining because I
Speaker 2: hadn't explained yet why it was hurtful and I needed
Speaker 2: them to know that. And then I go, no, they no,
Speaker 2: I don't they know it was hurtful. They said sorry,
Speaker 2: this is over, and I just said thank you and
Speaker 2: done and move on.
Speaker 1: It's that that urge. It's it's kind of like a
Speaker 1: primal urge to twist the knife, because if you got hurt,
Speaker 1: you want the image thing which you successfully averted would
Speaker 1: be to make them now hurt in retaliation. And you
Speaker 1: were like, you know what, I'm gonna be a I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do it.
Speaker 2: Firse about it. Yeah, and you have them in a
Speaker 2: vulnerable position where they've just apologized, so that you know
Speaker 2: that they're open to like taking more punches. Yes, you know,
Speaker 2: like whenever I apologize and I'm like I was wrong,
Speaker 2: pile it on me like I can now. I'm just
Speaker 2: like I'm a punching bag. Like I'll apologize for everything.
Speaker 2: I'll give you so much more of like I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I didn't mean it. I'm like, you can't get it
Speaker 2: enough from me. I'll just keep piling it on. So
Speaker 2: why not just keep telling me? And it hurt when
Speaker 2: you did this and this and this is how it hurt.
Speaker 2: And it's just like once someone apologizes, try to let
Speaker 2: it go. Try to walk away from him, at least
Speaker 2: until your anger subsides, because you're still angry from before
Speaker 2: they apologized, and you still want to be you like.
Speaker 5: Not aholder at all.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not let for I just go because I
Speaker 2: want people to do the same for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you ever get to the point where you can't.
Speaker 2: Forgive anyone for anything? Literally, I always say Trump could
Speaker 2: go I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was doing,
Speaker 2: and I would forgive him.
Speaker 3: I really would. I believe I hate him more than anyone.
Speaker 1: I've said it on the podcast before, I'll say it again,
Speaker 1: is that you. I mean, you have forgiven people for
Speaker 1: things that I can't believe.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because if they're sorry, if they really make
Speaker 2: an amends and they say I can't believe I did that,
Speaker 2: I don't know, because no one wants to be the person.
Speaker 3: No one can help what they are.
Speaker 2: Even if you murder someone, you can't help that your
Speaker 2: brain chose to murder instead of talk it out or whatever,
Speaker 2: Like you have a.
Speaker 3: Fucked up brain.
Speaker 2: And if you are able to reach a point where
Speaker 2: you go, I can't believe I did that. I mean
Speaker 2: I really do think when people say, like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I can't believe that person. You see these fathers hug
Speaker 2: a criminal in court and the criminal like murdered their child,
Speaker 2: and you go, how could that father ever hug the
Speaker 2: person who killed his child? And you were just mind
Speaker 2: boggled by it. I would be that father if the
Speaker 2: criminal really was like, I can't believe I did that.
Speaker 2: I've done soul searching in prison. I this, These are
Speaker 2: all the things that steps in my life that led
Speaker 2: me to take your son's life instead of doing anything else.
Speaker 2: I would be able to see this person couldn't help that,
Speaker 2: and they hate that they did it, and I relate
Speaker 2: to that feeling. Do you know many things I've said
Speaker 2: in my life that I'm like so embarrassed by who
Speaker 2: who can point a finger and say they've never done
Speaker 2: something they regret? So just forgive people because you've done
Speaker 2: it too well.
Speaker 1: Forgiving is not an entirely selfless act. When you forgive someone,
Speaker 1: you are also releasing yourself from holding feelings of negativity
Speaker 1: and having that person have any power over you anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: those people can take over your life, take over your brain,
Speaker 1: and you could really spiral into a depression just because
Speaker 1: someone's wronged you. And if you forgive them, it's just
Speaker 1: a release. It's the same thing.
Speaker 2: It's hard to do when they don't apologize, though, then
Speaker 2: I hold on to it if they don't apologize, I
Speaker 2: just like love. Hating people.
Speaker 5: Can never like so often you won't get that apology.
Speaker 5: Maybe the person's.
Speaker 3: Dead, or maybe the person just isn't capable.
Speaker 2: They have a personality disorder that makes them incapable of
Speaker 2: feeling empathy or feeling bad about what they did.
Speaker 1: They'll forgive them, still forgive that struggle because it's you
Speaker 1: doing it for yourself at that point.
Speaker 2: Actually, don't struggle with that because I am able to
Speaker 2: look at it as like a brain abnormality, like they
Speaker 2: are sick in the head, as opposed to like they
Speaker 2: are a bad person. Yeah, I'm able to see it,
Speaker 2: like they don't have an arm, you know, like they
Speaker 2: a guy with no arms can't hug me. So a
Speaker 2: guy with a part of his brain that didn't get
Speaker 2: developed can't feel empathy for me, can't feel can't see
Speaker 2: what he's done wrong.
Speaker 3: He's a narcissist. That's a personality disorder.
Speaker 2: It's a diagnosable thing for someone to have a narcissisic
Speaker 2: personality disorder, which makes them incapable of giving a.
Speaker 3: Fuck about you.
Speaker 1: You are sociopaths, but you will never let them do
Speaker 1: it again. That's the I mean, you can forget yourself.
Speaker 3: You don't.
Speaker 2: You don't forgive them, you can forge you just excuse
Speaker 2: it because it's like you're mad at someone for not
Speaker 2: doing something that that has a disability. I look at
Speaker 2: it as a disability, something that's not their fault, that
Speaker 2: this person cannot apologize or be a good person and
Speaker 2: is sociopathic and is jealous and is trying to ruin
Speaker 2: my career by saying these shitty things, like I've had
Speaker 2: people do horrible things to me behind my back. You
Speaker 2: know that one comedian in Saint Louis who is like
Speaker 2: a bully to me. I still hate her, but I
Speaker 2: know that she I feel sorry for her childhood and
Speaker 2: I feel sorry for how she was bullied in life
Speaker 2: to be so threatened by me that she has to
Speaker 2: like she tried to ruin me, And and there's a
Speaker 2: there's I would have been the same if I were
Speaker 2: born into her brain with her life experiences, I would
Speaker 2: have done the same thing to me. So I cannot
Speaker 2: fault her, but I can still hate her from afar
Speaker 2: and I will forever and ever thank you guys for
Speaker 2: listening to the show. That's it for today. Don't try
Speaker 2: to send me people of guessing who that person is.
Speaker 2: I'll never reveal her name. Luckily you wouldn't know her
Speaker 2: name because she never made It's not Kathleen Madigan. Don't
Speaker 2: guess that she's dead to everyone. She doesn't exist anymore
Speaker 2: in comedy. And it's a great, great gift to me.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening. That is me, Nikki.
Speaker 2: Don't be so mean. Stop, Okay, I'm just joking. I
Speaker 2: really wish her the best, her and her daughter whatever,
Speaker 2: even though I will say that when she got pregnant,
Speaker 2: I texted Amy Schumer like, oh my god, my bully
Speaker 2: is pregnant, and she goes you won, and so that
Speaker 2: was a nice day in my life. All right, thank
Speaker 2: you guys so much for listening to the podcast. We
Speaker 2: will be back tomorrow. Don't you even think we won't.
Speaker 2: I am in Europe right now. We will be in
Speaker 2: London on I believe Friday night, So if you are
Speaker 2: in the UK, please come out and see us. We're
Speaker 2: on the European tour in the middle of it. This
Speaker 2: is a pre taped episode. You didn't know until now,
Speaker 2: did you.
Speaker 3: Maybe you did because you saw my Instagram and I'm
Speaker 3: in Europe and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, how does she bring lik?
Speaker 2: But anyway, thank you so much for listening. We will
Speaker 2: see you on the podcast tomorrow. Don't be kissed, and
Speaker 2: to just forget everyone.