1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: It was this discovery of me that those who are 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: interested in you in this business, by and large are 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: interested in taking advantage of the level that you are 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: at when you don't need them, as opposed to offering 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: you a new step up to the next level. 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 2: Welcome to Off the Cuff, my personal anti anxiety antidote. 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: One of the best parts of this podcast for me 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: is getting to interview really creative people. I admire people 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 2: who can create their own opportunities and carve out their 10 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 2: own spaces, people who make genuinely new stuff, not the 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 2: stuff they're told to make to climb the ladder of success. 12 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 2: And it's especially nice when those people are rewarded for 13 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 2: that creativity, when that works, when that creativity and ingenuity 14 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 2: and sense. 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 3: Of self pays off. 16 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 2: Today's guest is Mark Duplas, whose career has modeled this 17 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: creative arc in a way that's super impressive and frankly, 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: I'm jealous. He's a filmmaker, actor, writer, musician, writer, director, 19 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 2: star of The Puffy Chair, co writer and star of 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 2: the Creep Horror series, Star of the League, Emmy winning 21 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 2: producer of the incredible documentary Wild Wild Country, and Emmy 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: nominated actor of the Morning Show. 23 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:20,839 Speaker 3: Welcome Mark to Plus. 24 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: Well, thank you, and you just made my mother so 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: happy with that introduction. Send this to her and good boy, 26 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: that's my baby. 27 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 4: Boy. 28 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 2: Well, I really do admire your career arc and we 29 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: want to get into it. But to start a lot 30 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 2: of guests that I've had on here, I've known a 31 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 2: little bit or maybe even a lot. 32 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 3: We don't know each other. 33 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 2: We don't know each other, but I did consult on 34 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 2: The Morning Show before you came on it. 35 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: Oh. 36 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 3: I was brought in by Apple early. 37 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 2: When the show was first being conceived and it was 38 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 2: meant to be a comedy, and so I was brought 39 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: out to La to join the writer's room and helping 40 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 2: to like round out Reese's character because she was like 41 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 2: a center right, you know, that's right like me, and 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 2: Hollywood doesn't know how to write conservative and so I 43 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 2: mostly told like scenario stories. 44 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 3: They'd be like, what would happen in this scenario? 45 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 2: And I had consulted for Aaron Sorkins the newsroom as well, 46 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 2: so helping with verisimilitude in the media landscape was really fun. 47 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,959 Speaker 2: But of course then the Morning Show morphed into a 48 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 2: drama mostly, but you were you were apprehensive about taking 49 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: this role, were you not? 50 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:41,519 Speaker 1: Yeah, for a number of reasons. I think the first 51 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,959 Speaker 1: was more of a pragmatic consideration of you know, I 52 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: run my own company and I have to be available 53 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: for them. And when you take a job like there's 54 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: a big job like this, particularly with Apple, you know, 55 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: it introduces a new overlord in my life, and so 56 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: that when they say jump, I have to say how high, 57 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: and particularly I have to say when. So I had 58 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: sort of promised myself and a bunch of people, like, 59 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: you know what, my days of doing long term acting 60 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,799 Speaker 1: TV gigs where I'm not the boss, I think those 61 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: are numbered, you know. But what I had an accounted 62 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: for is the size of my own ego because when 63 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: when a big job, when Aiston calls and Witherspoon calls 64 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 1: and Steve Carrell's riding shotgun, you know, I'm a human 65 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: I'm a human being, and I'm like, I get to 66 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: hang out with all my favorite stars that I've you know, 67 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: all the men and women I've been crushing on, you know, 68 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: for years. So I had to say yes. But you know, 69 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: I think there were other considerations I had about the show, 70 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: because you know, it's such really anathema to everything I 71 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: believe in terms of the creative process and what I do. 72 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, keep it cheap, keep it small, and keep 73 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: it on the air, you know. And this thing was 74 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: just this bloated monson had to be so massively successful 75 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: for it to work, and go figure it. It does work. 76 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: And I'm so glad that I took the gig and 77 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: didn't allow my preconceptions or fears to stop me, because 78 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: there have been so many wonderful things that have happened. 79 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,799 Speaker 1: Not only you know, just the accolades, all that stuff 80 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: has been great, But honestly, I've learned so much watching 81 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: that machine operate together. Yeah, yeah, and can apply to 82 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: my own life. And and it's just it's just a 83 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: wonderful job. Everybody is so nice. And I know you're 84 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: supposed to come on podcasts and say how nice everybody is, 85 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: but I really really mean it, Yeah, and I mean 86 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:48,119 Speaker 1: it in a surprised way of you know, big international 87 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: celebrities everywhere you turn. It should it should be honestly 88 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: a shit show of personality disorders. It should be awful, 89 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: you know, And and it's really friendly and lovely and 90 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: basically it's the greatest day job anybody like make it 91 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: ask for because I you know, it makes my face 92 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 1: more popular on an international flaught, it provides seed capital 93 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 1: for my own company. Right, It's just it's great. 94 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 3: It's great, great all around. 95 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 2: The relationship between producer and anchor is very special, sometimes 96 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,559 Speaker 2: very fraught. It's honestly very hard to capture in fiction 97 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 2: or a scripted material because it's it's both so codependent, yes, 98 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 2: and sometimes very unhealthy. But also if it works, it's 99 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 2: the best relationship you have, like better than any personal 100 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: or professional relationship, because this person knows you so well 101 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: that it's not just a work relationship. It becomes, like 102 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 2: I said, one of your most important relationships. How did 103 00:05:55,360 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 2: you go about trying to capture this complicated relationship. 104 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I would love to say that I have 105 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: some sort of formula and we followed it and worked. 106 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of luck and Jen and 107 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: I having to really really like each other. And I 108 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: think that's the most important thing of this is that, 109 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: you know, the scenes are full of us just being 110 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: horrific to each other, mostly horrific to me. Let's fix it. 111 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: But what's beneath all of that is how much Jen 112 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: and I actually love each other. So that little formula 113 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: is pretty simple, and I don't want to be reductive 114 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,599 Speaker 1: about it, but that's a big, big part of it. 115 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: And then I think that I do have some experience 116 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: with a type of relationship like this because of how 117 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: long I have worked in lockstep with my brother as 118 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: my best friend, my brother, my creative partner. The ugly sides, yes, Jay, 119 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: the ugly sides of ourselves that we've shown each other, 120 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: and then you keep returning back and you feel that 121 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: despite what you showed, you are still loved provide. It's 122 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: the kind of incredible safety that you need to survive 123 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: and sort of a Machiavelian environment like yeah, independent film 124 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: in my life or in this case, you know, live 125 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: news television, you know. Yeah, So that that really resonated 126 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: with me. When you've been horrific and somebody shows up 127 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: and they're still there for you, Yeah, that's that. That 128 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: to me is a secret ingredient in the recipe of 129 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: you know, that that strange codependence that keeps on It 130 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: takes a licking and keeps on ticking. 131 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 4: You know. 132 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, it really is. 133 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: And I've I've had some terrible producers but I've mostly 134 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 2: had some wonderful producers. 135 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: Some of them are like my family, basically family. 136 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, but those relationships can get so tricky because as 137 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 2: an anchor or host, you don't want to feel undermined, 138 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 2: and you can get very paranoid about what this person 139 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 2: who controls your fate is really trying to do. I mean, 140 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 2: it can really play mind games with you. And I 141 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 2: think you guys do a really good job of, thank you, 142 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 2: of capturing that. 143 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: It's fun. It's a fun one. 144 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 2: So through the lens of the morning show, what has 145 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 2: it made you think about the news? 146 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: That was a great question, you know. The first the 147 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: first thing that really occurred to me when I started 148 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: playing this role and getting immersed in this world, which 149 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: you know, of course is just a mere fact simile 150 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: of what you guys do. Was just shocked at how 151 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: high the stress levels must be because of the live 152 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: element of it. You know, I really told myself, like, 153 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: I'm a producer, I'm a producer of independent films. Yeah, 154 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: I know what it's like to play Kate, difficult personalities, 155 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 1: to try and bring the whole three ring circus, you know, 156 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: in clack Quadjet and all those kinds of things. And 157 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: then immediately I was like, oh, but I have. 158 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,559 Speaker 2: Take two yeah, and those live audience of people watching 159 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 2: in real time. 160 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: You don't have take two yes, And that just really 161 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: shocked me. Seem like an obvious thing, you know. So 162 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: that was like the first thing that I sort of 163 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: walked away with, you know. And then you know, the 164 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: second thing that I really loved, And this is something 165 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: I can identify with a lot, is that it's very 166 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: very easy when you're in the middle of a flawed ecosystem, politics, 167 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 1: the news, Hollywood, to convince yourself that you are the 168 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: last bastion of integrity, because all you do is you 169 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,559 Speaker 1: see the flaws, and so the way that you operate 170 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: is like, well, I'm going to be either the one 171 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: that saves it or it's up to me in order 172 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: to do this right. And so it's the easiest way. 173 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: It's well, it just it feels very obvious, you know, 174 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: And so you get on your high horse very very quickly, right, 175 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,079 Speaker 1: And I think that some blinders kind of show up, 176 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: at least in my opinion, of like, you know, well, 177 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: I'm doing the great work and it must be the 178 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: right thing to do because everything next to me is 179 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 1: so the wrong thing to do, and so you get 180 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,319 Speaker 1: blinded as to the own cracks in your own morality. 181 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: And I think that's what's so fun about my character there. 182 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: He is, he really is in some ways, you know, 183 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: in a show of morally questionable people and behavior, a 184 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: little bit of the moral center. But he's not clean, right, well, 185 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: no one is, No one is, you know. So that's 186 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: that's the part that's so fun for me to play. 187 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 1: And like, yes, what is it like when awareness starts 188 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: to creep in on you that, like you really do 189 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: imagine yourself, you know, the Clinicewood riding in on a 190 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:31,559 Speaker 1: horse to save the broken town of News and you realize, yes, man. 191 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 3: I'm part of the problem. 192 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: I'm part of the problem. 193 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 3: Am I the problem? Yeah? 194 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: I love it. I love that. 195 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean that's so brilliant too, because maybe it's 196 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 2: obvious to you, but I feel like inside the business, 197 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 2: this is not obvious. 198 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 3: And you're right about the blinders. 199 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 2: And it takes maybe an election, or it takes maybe 200 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 2: some kind of day six Macina event, or or just 201 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 2: some you know, some introspection or ratings crashes, whatever it 202 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 2: takes for you to say, oh maybe I am not 203 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 2: as morally superior as I think I am. And maybe 204 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 2: I'm doing this in a way that isn't actually great. 205 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: I think that that that to me, you know, and 206 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: this really is where my reflection takes hold, is that 207 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: to me makes really compelling television, you know. And so 208 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: I'm only going to be able to understand the news, uh, 209 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: you know, so far as the fact sim lady of 210 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: a TV show allows me. But but it keeps coming back. Wow, 211 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: what a fun character to play, What a fun world 212 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: to play in, and changing and moving so quickly, just 213 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: when you think you've got a handle on what might 214 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: be working, all of a sudden, you know, oh no, no, 215 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 1: Now we're moving into the streaming service and plus and 216 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: this and everything, and then and then these two people 217 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,239 Speaker 1: that I trusted are fired now, and it's like, yes, were. 218 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 2: The show I had is gone jettison because we're doing 219 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 2: something else now. 220 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 3: But I was doing fine? What happened? 221 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that's a bitch. That's the bitch of I 222 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: have a. 223 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: Lot of I have a lot of empathy. Yeah, yeah 224 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: we could. I'll take it. 225 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,599 Speaker 2: Two Emmy nominations. We're going to get into your independent 226 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,839 Speaker 2: film career. But did you think you'd get here, nominated 227 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 2: for Emmy's in a big role in a big budget 228 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 2: streaming series with a list movie stars, Apple backing like, 229 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 2: this is not where you envisioned being. 230 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: No, it's not where I envisioned being You're absolutely right, 231 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: But it's a little bit of a securitist journey. And 232 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,839 Speaker 1: I won't suck up too much time saying this, but 233 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,680 Speaker 1: I just want to be a little honest about it 234 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 1: because I don't like false humility. So, you know, I 235 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: came up in the independent sphere and it was definitely 236 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: this sense of, Oh my god, I was making three 237 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: dollars movies in the kitchen with my brother. You know, 238 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful to be here, right. That's like 239 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 1: the first phase, you know. But then I'm around for 240 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: a little while, you know. Yeah, And if I'm being honest, 241 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: there was a part of me, you know, in my 242 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: mid thirties doing shows like Togetherness for HBO. Yeah, where 243 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 1: I was kind of like, bro, where's my fucking Emmy? 244 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 3: I killed this. 245 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: I killed this and it kind of snuck up on 246 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:09,959 Speaker 1: me and mister Ego got tapped again, you know. So 247 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: there was that phase for me and I felt like, 248 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: oh God, I guess they just don't see the value 249 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: of me. Oh well, you know, so that happened for 250 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: a couple of years, and then what happened is I 251 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 1: was just like, you know what, this is stupid. Award 252 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: shows are just ridiculous. It's ego bullshit. Just let it 253 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: go and it doesn't matter at all. So by the 254 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: time it did come around for the Morning show, I 255 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 1: was a surprised and then be perfectly willing to throw 256 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 1: out my philosophy that awards show were bullshit to embrace 257 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: them as the greatest thing that ever happened, because you 258 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: gotta be fluid, you gotta adapt, you got to adapt. Yeah, 259 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: so that's kind of what happened to me there. So 260 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,559 Speaker 1: I came, I came full circle on it, and it 261 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: was a surprise and I loved it. 262 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 3: It was great. Right, well, let's go back. I always 263 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 3: like to ask what kind of kid were you I was? 264 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: I think people would be a little surprised, knowing me 265 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:11,319 Speaker 1: now how I was as a kid. I was very, 266 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: very brash. It was extremely confident walking into any room 267 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: and almost borderline like a bully, just southern male like 268 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: temper driven kid, and there was no limitter on the behavior, 269 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: you know. And and I hadn't learned yet that well, 270 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: that kid might not win so much in the world. 271 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: That's not kid's not going to win in every room. 272 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I sort of realized, Okay, I'm 273 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: going to try to become an artists. I have no 274 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: connections to this industry. If I am going to do this, 275 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: I can't really walk into a room like wreck at Ralph. 276 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to need to learn how to read rooms. 277 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to need to learn how to shape shift 278 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: a little bit and people please and do all these things, 279 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: which is a dangerous, slippery slope, but it's probably something 280 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 1: you can identify with as a woman coming up in 281 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 1: a male dominated industry. Yes, you kind of you kind 282 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: of feel like, if I'm going to make my way 283 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: here as someone who's not connected, I'm gonna have to 284 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: shape shift a little bit, you know. So I learned 285 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: that and that that can be a little dangerous to 286 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: the soul. So I wouldn't say that that was a, 287 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: you know, a particularly clean way to do it. But 288 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: I did those things, and so I think it helped me. 289 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: But yeah, I think you'd be if you went and 290 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: saw a video footage, you'd be like, whoa Mark duplus 291 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: was a little insensitive and braddy and had a real 292 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: rock and temper. 293 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 2: Like, well, I don't have any I didn't find any videos, 294 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 2: but I did find. 295 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: Oh look at that man, you yeah, that's senior high school. 296 00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 3: Mm hm, I found out what a hunk. I mean, 297 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 3: you look good to me. 298 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: All right, I'll take it this. 299 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 3: Was you were on the newspaper. 300 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, I'm holding up pictures of from Mark's yearbook 301 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 2: for I'm a newsman. 302 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 3: Tell I looked around. I mean you did. I looked 303 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 3: through your entire yearbook. 304 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 2: And you did a lot of stuff, but you weren't 305 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 2: like front and center, and you. 306 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: Look at my yearbook and you're not going to be 307 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 1: like this guy is going to go out in the world. 308 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: My high school is not a microcosm of the domination 309 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: to come. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. By the time I 310 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: was eighteen, I went to an all boys Catholic school 311 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 1: in New Orleans, very conservative, very rigid with academics. Very 312 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: good for me, like because I was really really creative 313 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: and I and I had that to fight against and 314 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: it was nice to have that little you know, I 315 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: don't want to do my Latin five homework, I want 316 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: to write this song. And Yeah, but the rigid of 317 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: my and the discipline that I received from that school 318 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: and taking that rigor and applying it to the artistic 319 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: process is probably besides my parents loving me the way 320 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: they did and supporting me the way they did, and 321 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: my brother being such a good big brother, that's like 322 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: probably in the top three things that helped make me 323 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: who I am. Yeah, it was really helpful. 324 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:27,159 Speaker 2: I couldn't tell from year book, but were you? It 325 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 2: didn't seem like correct me if I'm wrong. Didn't seem 326 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 2: like you were in Chicago or a funny thing happened 327 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 2: on the way to the forum. 328 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 1: I wasn't. 329 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 3: You didn't do drums. 330 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,919 Speaker 1: I didn't do any of that stuff. No, I was, 331 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: you know, primarily a musician in the first phase of 332 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 1: my life. I loved music. It was my first love. 333 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: And while I did go to film school and study 334 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: those things, when I went to I went to University 335 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 1: of Texas in Austin, Yeah, and got an education in it, 336 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: and I loved it and it was really good for 337 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: me and my brother and I used to work a 338 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: lot as editors, and I used to edit. I used 339 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 1: to edit a church television show in Austin. From I 340 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: took the night shift from like nine pm till seven 341 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: am on a Monday and a Tuesday, And over the 342 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 1: course of those twenty hours, I would make enough to 343 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: pay my rent and then the rest of the time 344 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: I would spend as a musician. So really until my 345 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: mid twenties, you know, I was a touring singer songwriter. 346 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: I was in indie rock bands, you know. 347 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, tell me talk about small hands. 348 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was a I made a record when 349 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,359 Speaker 1: I was like twenty one years old. This pretty much 350 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,400 Speaker 1: sums it up. My friends called me the Indigo Boy. 351 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: It was a singer city, it was a it was 352 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: a it was a very earnest singer songwriter record, you know. 353 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,360 Speaker 1: And I loved Sean Colvin and the Indigo Girls, and 354 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: you know, it's just that's that's what I was doing. 355 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 2: Well, you could have been the Indigo Boys. Did your 356 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,639 Speaker 2: brother no part of this? 357 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: He didn't want to. Yeah, he was done with that 358 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah. This was like nineteen ninety eight, 359 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,960 Speaker 1: you know, Lil a Fair tours were out there. This 360 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: is what we were doing. Yeah, And but it was 361 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: it was also it's part and Arsel with the way 362 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: that I ended up building my film career, which was there. 363 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 1: I've had an inherent impatience in me my whole life, 364 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: which has been helpful to also dovetail with this sense 365 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: of independency and just doing things my own way. Because yes, 366 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 1: there was no one giving me a record deal at 367 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: the time. So I was like, well, the technology is 368 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 1: here now, Like, I can buy a tape machine record 369 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: this record. I can press a thousand CDs. It'll cost 370 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: me like two grand I will book my own tour. 371 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,920 Speaker 1: I like traded in my car and got an old 372 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: conversion van and I just lived in my van for 373 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: four months and traveled around the country and made my 374 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 1: own version of being on tour. And that was critical 375 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: for me, being like can I do this? I dropped 376 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: out of college for a semester and I did it. 377 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,399 Speaker 1: And that taught me like, oh wow, if I just 378 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: put my head down and keep banging on these doors, 379 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 1: I will be able to get through, you know. And 380 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: it was a wild time. I talked to my daughters 381 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: about it all the time. I daught I was sixteen 382 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,959 Speaker 1: and twelve, and you know, they're having their figuring out 383 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: their relationships to technology. Right now. And you know, I 384 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: had no smartphone out there. I can only find these 385 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: venues by a Rand McNally map that I had. 386 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I. 387 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 1: Would, you know, sleep in my van and I would 388 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: sometimes go three to four days without speaking to anyone. 389 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: And I've had all of this reflective time with myself 390 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 1: because I didn't have this device that I could just 391 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 1: pick up and distract myself. I just had to be 392 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: with myself and I think it really helped develop me 393 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: as a person. 394 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 2: But how do you get the courage to just go 395 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 2: out and say, I'm just going to go do it. 396 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to go do it. I'm going to go 397 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 2: make it myself. 398 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: Part of it is that brash, cocky kid that I 399 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: am in my DNA, but a huge part of it 400 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: is the way that I was raised, which you know, 401 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,959 Speaker 1: it's not perfect because it has its downfall, but I 402 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 1: was given very strong message for my parents, You're incredible, 403 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 1: you can do any thing. I love you. And then 404 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: also the wonderful privileges I had of growing up middle 405 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 1: class and having no high school or college debt, so 406 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,879 Speaker 1: I wasn't in a hole already. So subconsciously I had 407 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: this feeling, well, I can just go, I can just 408 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,199 Speaker 1: spring forward, you know. So that was very helpful. But 409 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: that confidence boost I got from my parents, you know, 410 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: I heard that voice in the back of my head. Now, 411 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: the problem with that approach is when you're twenty four 412 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: and you're not killing it, you get real down on 413 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 1: yourself because you're, like my. 414 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 3: Mom told me, I was also, mom, what the fuck 415 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 3: making it? 416 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 1: And you feel like you're disappointing everyone you love, and 417 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 1: you feel like you are somehow wasting this like beautiful 418 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: life you've been given. So that was really really hard 419 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,200 Speaker 1: for me, and I had to get a handle on that. Still, 420 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: I wouldn't trade it, it was I'd rather have the 421 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: confidence with that with that downside. Yeah, So yeah, that's 422 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,919 Speaker 1: how I came out blasting and I try to do 423 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: as much of that. It's gonna sound like I'm getting 424 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:11,919 Speaker 1: my high horse. I don't want to sound like this, 425 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: but like now that I am in a position of like, 426 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: so I have a little bit of influence and I 427 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 1: have a little bit at your wealth, Like that's my 428 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: big like give back thing. It's like to try and 429 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,120 Speaker 1: when I see people who don't have either the financial 430 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: stability to have the confidence, I had and or the 431 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 1: person in their life that was like, I see you, 432 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: I believe deeply in you. You've got this. Yeah, you know, 433 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,919 Speaker 1: that's how like my survivor's skill plays out. It's like 434 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: trying to pay that stuff. 435 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:40,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I get that. 436 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:48,400 Speaker 2: So after the success of the Puffy Chair, Yeah, did 437 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 2: doors just open wide for you or did you still 438 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 2: have to like prove yourself to get where you wanted 439 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,360 Speaker 2: to get with the next thing you wanted to do. 440 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a yes and no to that, you know. 441 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 1: So it's all relative, right, you know. For me having 442 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,400 Speaker 1: done everything myself up until that point, no one had 443 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 1: ever helped me or offered to do anything. There was 444 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 1: I never had a mentor, I never had any I 445 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,640 Speaker 1: had j side by side working together, so I had 446 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: a compatriot, you know. And then I had my girlfriend 447 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: then who's now my wife, Katie, who then kind of 448 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: joined us, and so we were kind of like arm 449 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 1: and arm. But after the Puffy Chair hit Sundance, I'm 450 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: twenty seven, this is the first time I have the 451 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: experience of, well, now I have an agent who's going 452 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: to go out and represent for me. And the movie 453 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,679 Speaker 1: did hit well at Sundance, and so I have people 454 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 1: coming to me, which feels good, but of course it's 455 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: not what it all seems. You know. Most of the 456 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 1: attention I received was like, well, we heard you made 457 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,920 Speaker 1: this movie for fifteen thousand dollars and it sold well 458 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: at Sundance, So sure I would love to give you 459 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,360 Speaker 1: fifteen thousand dollars to make a movie and take half 460 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: of you of your equity and take all the credit 461 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 1: for it, you know, because are the offers I was getting. 462 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I don't really need you. 463 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,479 Speaker 1: And it was this discovery of me that those who 464 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 1: are interested in you in this business, and maybe it's 465 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 1: the same as others I don't know, by and large, 466 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: are interested in taking advantage of the level that you 467 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: are at when you don't need them, as opposed to 468 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: offering you a new step up to the next level 469 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: when you need it, when you need it, Yeah, exactly. 470 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,399 Speaker 1: It was like, huh, so I'm getting attention. This is cool, 471 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: but I'm kind of still in the same boat. But 472 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: you know, there were some really cool things that happened, 473 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 1: Like we met with the folks at Universal and they 474 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: were really interested in us, and they gave us one 475 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,680 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars to write a script for them, which 476 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: was more money than I ever thought I would ever 477 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: make in my life. I was like, I can't believe 478 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: this is happening. So immediately what we did is Jay 479 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 1: and I took that money. We each took twenty five 480 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: of it. We took the next fifty and went and 481 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 1: made another independent film with it. Yeah, we get to 482 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: blow It's like an episode of Dumb and Dumber here, 483 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 1: you know, just like that's what you're doing. You get 484 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: money blow out on more independent films. But it was 485 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: it was a really interesting thing that happened, which is 486 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: to your point of did the doors open? I thought 487 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 1: the doors would open up top. What happened is the 488 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 1: doors opened below in a way. And I'll explain this, 489 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,400 Speaker 1: which was we were the first people in our group 490 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: of friends to make money, of the group of artists. 491 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 1: So we signed that universal deal. I'll sign a deal 492 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 1: with Fox Searchlight to write this movie Cyrus that we 493 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: eventually made. We made this movie bag Head for like 494 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars. It sold it Sundance for like a 495 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: half a million dollars. So we started the ownership of 496 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: our business, and so all of our friends were coming 497 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 1: to us like, hey, you know you guys have connections 498 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: with Sundance, could you help us get our movie into Sundance? 499 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 1: Or Hey, you know you guys are really good editors, 500 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: will you help us edit our movie and make it 501 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: a little better? Or hey, I heard your friends with 502 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: Jonah Hill, could you help me in our movie? Or 503 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 1: we lost ten thousand dollars of our finance saying you 504 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 1: guys have money. So we were doing all these things 505 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: as friends, and then a friend of mine, Michael Costigan, 506 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 1: he's a producer. He looked at me and he's like, 507 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: you know, that's what producing is, right, Like everything you're 508 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,880 Speaker 1: doing is reducing And I was like, oh, I never 509 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 1: thought of that. I always thought I was going to 510 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: be a writer, director, just artists, you know. And that's 511 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: when sort of the producing element of my career was 512 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: born and I realized that that probably is more of 513 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 1: my superpower actually than being a director. Is that team 514 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 1: building and the putting together and the supporting of artists 515 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 1: is something that I never envisioned for myself. And to 516 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: put a finer point on that, I think it's important 517 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: to talk about this. I was raised in the generation 518 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 1: where a lot of the media in the early nineties, 519 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 1: the independent film books was kind of a fuck commerce 520 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,679 Speaker 1: kind of thing, and if you try to if you 521 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,360 Speaker 1: try to combine art and commerce, you're a sellout, right, 522 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: And I kind of bought into that. But the thing 523 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: is like. 524 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 3: Sort of the reality bites theme. 525 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 1: Yes, exactly exactly, but but the truth is, like I've 526 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: always loved numbers, and I grew up in a very 527 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 1: like conservative environment. All my friends with the business school 528 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: all this, and I love that stuff, you know, and 529 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 1: I have my little stocks and I want and I 530 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: always felt like a little ashamed, like I need to 531 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,879 Speaker 1: like hide that from people, because like I'm supposed to 532 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: be an artist, I'm the indigo boy, right, and these 533 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: things don't these things don't mix, right, you know. But 534 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,639 Speaker 1: once I learned to embrace the ven diagram overlap of 535 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,679 Speaker 1: art and commerce and know that, like, I love the 536 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,120 Speaker 1: business game of this. I love making a movie fifty 537 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: thousand dollars and taking it back and selling it and 538 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: getting profit margins and cutting people into the points and 539 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 1: grinding the deals, you know. And people meet me and 540 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: they're just like, wait, you're business man, what is this? 541 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna tell me about your yeah, 542 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 1: and I guess I'm both is really the case? You know? 543 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: Once I learned to love that embrace that I think 544 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 1: that's been a key to the sustainability of my career 545 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,360 Speaker 1: is understanding the business. 546 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 2: Next, I talk to Mark Duplas about anxiety and turning 547 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,120 Speaker 2: the bad stuff into. 548 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:32,160 Speaker 3: The good stuff. I want to talk to you about anxiety. 549 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 3: It's why I do it. 550 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 2: I was so looking forward to this interview because you've 551 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 2: been very honest about mental health struggles with depression and anxiety, 552 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 2: and I talk a lot about mine as well. I 553 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 2: suffer from severe anxiety disorder, and it's debilitating, it's isolating, 554 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 2: it's depressing, it's exhausting. 555 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: Most of the exhausting is key. 556 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 3: Exhausting is what it's mostly. And it's a liar. 557 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 2: It lies to me, lies to me about whether I'm safe, 558 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 2: whether I'm happy, whether my loved ones are safe. 559 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: It's a liar. 560 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 2: And I'm writing a book about it right now because 561 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 2: I want to graphically explain. 562 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 3: What it means. 563 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 2: Because people hear anxcieited, they think, well, everybody's worried about something. 564 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 1: I get nervous. I get worried. 565 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I get nervous when I fly. 566 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, it's a different thing, and I feel for 567 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 2: you and that is awful. I'm sorry, but that's a 568 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 2: very different thing. And so I feel like if you 569 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 2: don't talk graphically about it, people don't really get it. 570 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 2: So I'm wondering if you can just talk a little 571 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 2: bit about how long you've battled your mental health and 572 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 2: what it is in particular that you deal with. 573 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I would love to, and thank you 574 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,479 Speaker 1: for inviting me to talk about this. So, you know, 575 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: as with most people who grew up in the seventies 576 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 1: in the South, identifying this was extremely difficult. You know, 577 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: the generation previous who was raising us was not well 578 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: versed in what this was. There was just a lot 579 00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: of a tough aout mentality. I get it, No no 580 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: blame or you know, it just wasn't in the lexicon. 581 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: So the first things that I can identify looking back 582 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: now are are I remember waking up, you know, five six, 583 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 1: seven years old and feeling this extreme pit of emptiness 584 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: in my stomach and not feeling like I can't go 585 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: to school, I can't get out of bed, and I 586 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: remember theme it was, that's so weird. Did I eat 587 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: dinner last night because I'm so hungry, my stomach so empty, 588 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: and I have no energy. And that's how I would 589 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: explain it. It's just like and I would I would 590 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: like actually eat these like huge dinners sometimes in the 591 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: hopes that it would give me enough fuel for the morning. 592 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: But I had no idea that that was just depression, 593 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: you know, exhibiting itself in a way that I just 594 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: couldn't identify, you know. But here's the good and the 595 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 1: bad news is that I have a really strong constitution. 596 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 1: I have a really big drive, so I can actually 597 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: put my head down and muscle through quite a bit. 598 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: And that's what I did, is these things came to me, 599 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: and I just was quiet about it, and I swallowed it, 600 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 1: and I put my head down and I just kept 601 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: banging on doors and banging on doors. And the next 602 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 1: thing I can really remember is from the ages like 603 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,720 Speaker 1: sixteen to eighteen, you know, feeling a little lost, feeling 604 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: like I don't really belong in this school that I'm in, 605 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: feeling some nerves about where I'm headed for college and whatnot. 606 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 1: And that's when I first started having panic attacks. It 607 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: was manifesting as anxiety, you know, the sweats I feel 608 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,479 Speaker 1: like I'm going to throw out. I feel like I'm 609 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 1: going to pass out. I feel like I'm going to die, 610 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: you know. And that's when I spent a good two 611 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: years convinced that, like, yeah, I probably have cancer or 612 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: something like that, right, but I wouldn't talk about it 613 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 1: with anyone. And I really wish I could go back 614 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 1: and say, you can open up and talk about this. 615 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 1: And that's one thing I'm very excited about for this 616 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: new generation is they are talking. Yeah, so much by 617 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: the way to talk about it right. And then the 618 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: next way it manifested in me because again I muscled 619 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 1: through it, and my anxiety and my depression was like, 620 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: we're going to get you to pay attention. I tried 621 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 1: to make your stomach hurt when you were five and 622 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: didn't listen. Then I gave you panic attacks at sixteen, 623 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: and you somehow muscle through this. So now you're twenty three, 624 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: you identify as a musician. That's all you can do. 625 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: And I developed crippling carbal tunnel and repetitive stress injuries 626 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: in my hands and all through my neck and shoulders 627 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: from the tension and everything because I was like, we're 628 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 1: gonna put it in your body now now I'm gonna 629 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 1: try and slow you down. Yeah, and still I would 630 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 1: not listen. I didn't know that I should be going 631 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: to therapy. I didn't know about medication. I still thought 632 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 1: that like Prozac was this evil drug that was find control, 633 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: do that and then you're weak if you do that. 634 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 1: All those things, you know. So what I learned, so 635 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, well I can't play acoustic guitar anymore. 636 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: Rather than like sit and think maybe there's something wrong 637 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,959 Speaker 1: here that I need to examine inside, I was like, oh, 638 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: I'll just play this like cassio instrument that doesn't hurt 639 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 1: my hands and go to another one hundred and eighty 640 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: days a year, which I did, and I'll go make 641 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 1: an independ feature film with my brother. And I did. 642 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:07,840 Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I reached some sort of organic 643 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 1: zenith to this drive, which was making the Puffy Chair, 644 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: getting it in Sun Dance, finally making enough money that 645 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,480 Speaker 1: I can pay rent, and a little bit of calm 646 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: came with that. And as soon as you know, it's 647 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 1: almost like when you have like a job, you're like 648 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,959 Speaker 1: at the you know, you're at the Republican National Convention. 649 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: You can't let yourself get sick because you got to work, 650 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 1: and then as soon as it's over, Yeah, right, sure, 651 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: that's what happened to me. And I had a nervous 652 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 1: breakdown at twenty eight, consistent panic attacks, couldn't get myself 653 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 1: off the floor, just got engaged in my wife Katie. 654 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: So I'm super embarrassed and ashamed and like, this is 655 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: what she signed up for. She's gonna be like and 656 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: I'm really that feeling of like I don't know if 657 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 1: I'm ever going to be the same again. Yea, And 658 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 1: so I was. I was. I guess at that point 659 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 1: around enough artists and I'm in California on the West Coast, 660 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 1: there's enough people and friends around me who are like, oh, yeah, 661 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: this is anxiety and depression, and like you need to 662 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,320 Speaker 1: go see a specialist. So let's to see a psychologist. 663 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: Want to see a psychiatrist. I was too afraid to 664 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 1: take the SSRIs, like you know, the prozacs and the 665 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: selecxis and the zolofts. You know, I'd had enough friends 666 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 1: who take like Xanax and things like that. I was like, oh, 667 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: that's temporary. So so I started there and I was like, 668 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 1: this helps with the panic attacks doesn't help with the depression. 669 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 1: Not sustainable. So that's when I had to really make 670 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,799 Speaker 1: the best decision I ever made in my life, which 671 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 1: was to go on SSRIs they and really was tough 672 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 1: because I was like, Okay, started Zoloft first. You know, 673 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: I had some of those tough sexual side effects that 674 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: you get on those. Sometimes I got to weight gain, 675 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know if this is 676 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 1: right for me. You know, I'm an actor too, I 677 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: have ego all these things. Yeah, I was able to 678 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 1: move over into selects experience less of those side effects, 679 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: and then and then the the sky opened up just 680 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 1: enough for me that I could see how, okay, I'm 681 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 1: going to be able to get myself out of this. 682 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,399 Speaker 1: It's going to take a lot of work. It's gonna 683 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 1: be a little bit of that long, slow road. And 684 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 1: this is where I started doing my deep dive into 685 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 1: the systems that I have built for myself now, which 686 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: is just like minimum eight and a half hours of sleep, 687 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: non negotiable, non negotiable, Minimum twenty minutes of hardcore cardio 688 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 1: exercise per day, non negotiable. Got to have this, you know, 689 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 1: always eating good foods and healthy foods, all these little 690 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 1: things to keep myself in place, you know. And I 691 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 1: got myself on my feet, and I lied to myself 692 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,760 Speaker 1: and I convinced myself, as soon as I get myself 693 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 1: on feet, I'll get off the medication. I can wean 694 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 1: myself off and it's gonna be fine. And I did, 695 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 1: and I like, wean myself from twenty milligrams then to 696 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,439 Speaker 1: ten milligrams, and I was like, I think I'm doing 697 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:56,239 Speaker 1: Oh god, no, no, no, I'm not ready, you know. So 698 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 1: I've been on SSRIs for eighteen years. Yeah, and no, 699 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 1: it's not ideal, but it's it's what I need and 700 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: it's not a fix all of anything. It's as you know, 701 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 1: it's Yeah, sometimes it's seasonal. Sometimes it comes. I talk 702 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,600 Speaker 1: about the delay where there will be times when I'm 703 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: like really stressed out, like I can see it, but 704 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 1: the anxiety isn't there. It's the normal everyday stress and 705 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: strain and I'm like, I should be tanking right now. 706 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 1: I can't believe them on my feet. And then three 707 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: months later, three months later, it hits me old the 708 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: Christmas holidays when I'm totally relaxed, and then whams me 709 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the fuck man, I'm I'm I'm 710 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: relaxed now. 711 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 2: It's a wild part of it. I remember being very 712 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,760 Speaker 2: stressed over this summer. I was juggling four different jobs 713 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 2: and I had a vacation coming up. 714 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 3: But I was like, oh, I'm so excited for this vacation. 715 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 3: And I'd add a couple. 716 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:59,720 Speaker 2: Of traumatic safety security incidents before then, but I felt okay. 717 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,479 Speaker 2: I moved through those. Normally, I would think those would 718 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 2: spiral me. 719 00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 3: I didn't. It caught up to me on my vacation. 720 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,440 Speaker 2: Of course, when I'm like really just trying to take 721 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:13,440 Speaker 2: a break from everything, suddenly this is where my anxiety 722 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 2: decided to pop up and say, no, no, no, those things 723 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,719 Speaker 2: that happened did affect you, and I'm just here to 724 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 2: remind you. But what you said a little bit ago 725 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 2: when you said you'd have this nervous breakdown and you 726 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 2: didn't know if you were gonna be yourself again, and 727 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 2: I had those same feelings. My nervous breakdown happened at 728 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 2: forty and I thought, I'm not going to be myself again, 729 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 2: and guess what I am not. 730 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 3: I am not myself again. And some of that is 731 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 3: for the better, yes, but some of that is, like, God, 732 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,240 Speaker 3: I used to not care about this stuff. 733 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 2: I used to not have to do all this stuff 734 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 2: just to get myself going and feeling okay. 735 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 1: How fucking exhausting is it that you feel like you 736 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 1: need four systems just to hit baseline? 737 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 3: Well, yes, I hate thinking so much. 738 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 2: Attention to what my mind is doing so it doesn't 739 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 2: do the unhealthy things is exhausting too. And then when 740 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm not doing well, when I'm catastrophizing and thinking about 741 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,880 Speaker 2: danger around every corner twenty four hours a day, that 742 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,600 Speaker 2: is exhausting, and I feel it physically. 743 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,799 Speaker 3: And listen, my brain is not as sharp as it 744 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 3: was before this. It just is not. 745 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,960 Speaker 2: I can now, like if I'm writing or reading something 746 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 2: and my son or my husband says something, I used 747 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 2: to be able to do eight things at once. Now 748 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 2: that will completely stop me and my train of thought, 749 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 2: and I have to separate these things. I have to 750 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 2: ask my family, like, for total, can I just have 751 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,479 Speaker 2: ten minutes where you're not interrupting my train of thought 752 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000 Speaker 2: for this thing that I'm doing that never used to 753 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,560 Speaker 2: be me So I'm not the same. And I think 754 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,800 Speaker 2: maybe wrapping your mind around that is one of the 755 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 2: hardest things to do. 756 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 1: It is hard, but you know, I think that like 757 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,960 Speaker 1: if you look at it and pull out thirty thousand 758 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 1: and feet, it's not dissimilar to the aging process, which 759 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,000 Speaker 1: this was a couple of ways to look at aging, 760 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 1: which is just like you can look at as a 761 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: constant series of diminishing loss where it's just like, oh, 762 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: now my lower back is doing something, so I can't 763 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:14,400 Speaker 1: do running like I used to do, so I have 764 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 1: to do the elliptical. Gosh, oh oh, now I have 765 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,319 Speaker 1: tennis elbows, so I can't do the lip. You know, 766 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: you can look at it like that, you weally and 767 00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:22,719 Speaker 1: and I don't blame you if you do, you know. 768 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,399 Speaker 1: Or you can look at it as just like, well, 769 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 1: it's just a change, and it's just a little bit different. 770 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 1: And you know, I I I'm trying on a little 771 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 1: bit of radical optimism these days, and I'm actually kind 772 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: of enjoying it to the to the extent of let's 773 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: take your example of you know, I can't multitask the 774 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,400 Speaker 1: way I used to. You know, well, the way that 775 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 1: I would approach that is I would say, okay, that 776 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:52,440 Speaker 1: multitasking probably led to efficiency, and it probably led to success. 777 00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:57,319 Speaker 1: Did it definitely lead to happiness? Maybe not? No, And 778 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,400 Speaker 1: is it possible that se in this phase your life, 779 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 1: you're financially sustainable, you got a nice family, all your 780 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: good systems are in place. Yeah, but that's slow down 781 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 1: and that unilateral focus might actually lead to some more contemplative, 782 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: deep thought and ways of doing things. That might You know, 783 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,600 Speaker 1: when you're cooking in the kitchen and it's just the 784 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,319 Speaker 1: music and you and the vegetables and meditative you. 785 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 3: Know, I love I just did that last night. I 786 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,359 Speaker 3: put in a little divorgac I my cooking. I tell 787 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,040 Speaker 3: the boys to go in the other room. It is 788 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 3: the best. 789 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,239 Speaker 1: By the way, you and I are gonna have to 790 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,080 Speaker 1: have a classical music dorkout session outside of this podcast, because. 791 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,520 Speaker 3: Okay, great, no one wants to listen to this. 792 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,280 Speaker 1: Well we're gonna, but we're gonna do it. We're gonna 793 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 1: do it. 794 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,520 Speaker 3: Okay, I'll do that. 795 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:42,680 Speaker 1: But but yeah, that's how I look at the things. 796 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,319 Speaker 1: And maybe it's a rationalization or maybe it's a self 797 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,600 Speaker 1: fulfilling prophecy. I don't care. But if I lean into that, 798 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 1: it helps me to reframe it in a way that 799 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 1: can be healthy, you know, the way I take this. 800 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,560 Speaker 2: Like that because you know what, and I I you're 801 00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 2: just reminding me of this. I've been reading a lot 802 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,399 Speaker 2: about this, and you know what, Multitasking is awful for you. 803 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,360 Speaker 2: It is terrible for you, even when you're healthy. 804 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,919 Speaker 3: It is not good. So, actually, you're right. 805 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,960 Speaker 2: Some of these things I wanted to hold on to 806 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 2: that I thought were very much part of my identity 807 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:17,319 Speaker 2: and my ambition and my success, we're probably not great things, and. 808 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 3: I just need to view them that way. 809 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,839 Speaker 2: This is why marketing plus, this is why I love 810 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 2: talking about mental health because you just told me something 811 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:26,839 Speaker 2: I didn't know. 812 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 1: And you know, here's the dirty truth about multitasking too, 813 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,759 Speaker 1: which is like you're right about what you just identified. 814 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,880 Speaker 1: You know. And I think a lot back to ages 815 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,200 Speaker 1: zero to twenty eight, before my nervous breakdown, before I 816 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,040 Speaker 1: became self aware, you know, and I think to myself, like, God, 817 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 1: did you have to drive yourself so hard? Did you 818 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,959 Speaker 1: have to do all those things to yourself? And here's 819 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: the thing, Like, I have a hard time going into 820 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 1: deep regret about that, because the truth is that drive 821 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,200 Speaker 1: that you had, yeah, it actually was cumulative and it 822 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 1: did help builds to this moment where you're at right now. 823 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 4: I know. 824 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 1: So it's not all empirically bad. I know, maybe there's 825 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 1: a balance the way we could have done it. That's 826 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 1: the rub, you know. So what I want to say 827 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,720 Speaker 1: to anyone who's listening to this and you know, is thinking, 828 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,720 Speaker 1: either you know what, I'm twenty two, fuck you guys. 829 00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: You have the luxury and your successful place right now 830 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 1: of saying, don't bang your head against the wall. But like, 831 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,800 Speaker 1: sometimes the balanced life at seventeen doesn't actually lead to success. 832 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: So I'm here to say it's it's not the worst 833 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 1: thing in the world if you want to go overdrive 834 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,359 Speaker 1: for a little bit and have an awareness to it 835 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,120 Speaker 1: and then put your systems in place later. Yeah, so 836 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,239 Speaker 1: not the worst thing in the world if you are 837 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,240 Speaker 1: smarter than us and you want to get yourself balanced 838 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,919 Speaker 1: now and realize that, well, the success that our drive 839 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:43,000 Speaker 1: brought us didn't necessarily bring happiness. And there's new ways 840 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,560 Speaker 1: to look at things. You know, there's no one way 841 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,640 Speaker 1: that's definitively right or wrong. The only thing I'm discovering 842 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 1: for myself is just you know, trying to find the 843 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,840 Speaker 1: right framing devices and appreciate the good things that have 844 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,359 Speaker 1: come with these crazy things I've had to deal with. 845 00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 1: You know, that has really been the only thing that 846 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: I find to be empirically helpful. 847 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 2: Yes, and me too, And even just the way we're 848 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,320 Speaker 2: talking about sort of reframing these things and thinking about 849 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 2: when you're coming up, because I too would advise someone 850 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,800 Speaker 2: coming up in my business or any other competitive business, 851 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,800 Speaker 2: work your ass off in your twenties, like that's when 852 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,359 Speaker 2: that's when you can do it, before you've got a. 853 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,800 Speaker 3: Family and when you're hungry and all of that. 854 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,680 Speaker 1: Maybe be a little more aware than you and I were, 855 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 1: but still work hard, you know. 856 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, But I would tell myself as I was 857 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,839 Speaker 2: pushing and pushing to the next thing and the next thing, 858 00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,759 Speaker 2: I'll take a break eventually, or I'll check in with 859 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:37,759 Speaker 2: my mental health eventually. And especially as I got into 860 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 2: more intense journalism where I was covering wars and awful things, 861 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 2: seeing awful things, i'd compartmentalized do what you did, keep 862 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,799 Speaker 2: my head down. I can push through I can push 863 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,799 Speaker 2: through this anxiety. It can push through depression. I can 864 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 2: push through the awfulness and I'll check in later. But 865 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,200 Speaker 2: I wouldn't and now what I do, because I still 866 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 2: have to do that. It's still my job to do that. 867 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,440 Speaker 2: I do check in later, I do correct for what 868 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:02,919 Speaker 2: I've just put myself through. 869 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 3: But I didn't do that growing up because who knew. 870 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 3: I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know I 871 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 3: was anxious until forty something. 872 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm looking at my you know, my 873 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 1: daughter's journey right now, sixteen. It's her story to tell, 874 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 1: and I don't want to get into the specifics of it, 875 00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:21,200 Speaker 1: but she, you know, very early on cluede into you know, 876 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,479 Speaker 1: the mental health journey and what that would mean for her, 877 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:28,000 Speaker 1: and like how she's functioning now at sixteen is incredible. 878 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,560 Speaker 1: She's in Maine right now with my wife. They're making 879 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:35,080 Speaker 1: an independent film together, and like, I'm just watching the 880 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,560 Speaker 1: way she processes it and what she does with her 881 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 1: days off and like knows how to give herself rest 882 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 1: and amazing and puts her boundaries up with us, and 883 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:46,000 Speaker 1: you know, I'm like, whoa, that's so so downstream, and 884 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,520 Speaker 1: I'm really I'm really as much as they have it 885 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,359 Speaker 1: really difficult, particularly you know, visa via the technology element. Yeah, 886 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 1: I'm seeing really good signs of what they're doing well. 887 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,960 Speaker 2: And that's something too My therapist was like, let me 888 00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,919 Speaker 2: ask you a question. When you're anxious, do you hide 889 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,000 Speaker 2: that from your son? My son's young, and so I 890 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,360 Speaker 2: would say, of course, and she'd say, well, don't do 891 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 2: that like in age appropriate ways, trinity ways. 892 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,480 Speaker 3: Yes, for sure, because. 893 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,760 Speaker 2: If you model to your son that you are perfect, 894 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,160 Speaker 2: you have all the answers, you have never had a challenge, 895 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 2: he's not going to know how to be imperfect. And 896 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 2: you're not raising a perfect son, you know, You're raising 897 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,319 Speaker 2: someone who is going to be imperfect and show him 898 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,000 Speaker 2: what it's like to ask for help, to not have 899 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 2: it all figured out, to take care of your mental health. 900 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 2: So yeah, that sticks with me too, because if there's 901 00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:38,320 Speaker 2: one silver lining to all of this, it's that maybe 902 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 2: the next generation will do it better. 903 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:41,040 Speaker 4: You know. 904 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 1: I have a little story to share of when I 905 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:48,520 Speaker 1: didn't actually do that very well, you know, And a 906 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,400 Speaker 1: part of it was some gender preconceptions I had growing 907 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,920 Speaker 1: up in the South, which was like, I have two daughters, 908 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:58,359 Speaker 1: and I wanted to project oak, Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm here, 909 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,640 Speaker 1: you got this, you know, and when they had questions, 910 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,719 Speaker 1: I wanted to be able to be there to offer 911 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,600 Speaker 1: them insightful answers that felt like they were coming out 912 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:12,000 Speaker 1: of Nicholas Spark's novel and and and you know what, 913 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,400 Speaker 1: that was helpful to them and good for them. And 914 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,440 Speaker 1: there were also times when my wife, Katie, who processes 915 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:22,560 Speaker 1: things in extremely healthy and ways, where the emotions come 916 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,120 Speaker 1: to her big, they explode, she moves on from them. 917 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,239 Speaker 1: It's great, you know. And and there was a time 918 00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:29,719 Speaker 1: where she was really struggling with her career as a filmmaker, 919 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,239 Speaker 1: as an actor, you know, and our daughters would walk 920 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,120 Speaker 1: in on her a lot, you know, crying in the 921 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,840 Speaker 1: kitchen and sobbing, and and and and worrying about is 922 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,200 Speaker 1: this ever going to be okay? And I don't know 923 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,680 Speaker 1: the existential was And I remember thinking to myself, like, 924 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,319 Speaker 1: where's the oak, Like give these kids the strength, Like 925 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 1: we need to let them know that it's okay in 926 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:46,400 Speaker 1: the world. 927 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:46,640 Speaker 4: You know. 928 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,759 Speaker 1: Of course I didn't say anything, because parents have to 929 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,720 Speaker 1: parent their own ways, you know. And I was talking 930 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,560 Speaker 1: to my twelve year old the other day and she 931 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,640 Speaker 1: told me, unprompt out out of anything, she's like one 932 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,799 Speaker 1: of the best lessons she got from her parents was 933 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:02,560 Speaker 1: watching her mother in the kitchen crying after she didn't 934 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,120 Speaker 1: get those auditions because it allowed her a for the 935 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,680 Speaker 1: first time, to not be the comforted, but to comfort 936 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,240 Speaker 1: someone that she that she assumed was in a position 937 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,680 Speaker 1: of house and it gave her confidence that she might 938 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,640 Speaker 1: know something that maybe she doesn't and offer her a 939 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,520 Speaker 1: little bit of advice. And then subsequently, in the years 940 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,520 Speaker 1: to come, she watched her get hit, fall on the ground, 941 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,120 Speaker 1: pick herself back up, go on the audition, get hit, 942 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 1: going there, and she never gave up. So all that 943 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:30,359 Speaker 1: Nicholas Sparks bullshit modeling I was doing was not the thing. 944 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,759 Speaker 1: It was just my wife being real with them and 945 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,319 Speaker 1: them seeing her do it. That was the thing. 946 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:36,160 Speaker 3: Great to hear. 947 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,640 Speaker 2: I'm so glad you shared that, because, yeah, I try 948 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,640 Speaker 2: to envision as my son gets a little. 949 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,839 Speaker 3: Older how that will look. And that's really great. That's great. 950 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,439 Speaker 1: The vulnerability went in doubt, just go that way. 951 00:47:46,840 --> 00:48:02,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, let's lighten up with a lightning round. 952 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:03,319 Speaker 1: Let's do it. 953 00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:09,280 Speaker 3: Okay. 954 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:13,960 Speaker 2: Many of our guests are graduates of a vaunted Hollywood institution, 955 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 2: the School of Law and Order. Uh, you did not 956 00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:20,439 Speaker 2: matriculate through the School of Law and Order? 957 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,560 Speaker 3: How is that possible? How did it? Miss? 958 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:22,719 Speaker 4: You? 959 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,759 Speaker 1: So I I came up in this very interesting way, 960 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 1: which was through the independent film route, you know. And 961 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:34,680 Speaker 1: then I made a lateral move straight over into the 962 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,400 Speaker 1: directing chair and into writing studio movies. And then by 963 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,400 Speaker 1: the time I got my first like acting gig, I 964 00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:44,239 Speaker 1: weirdly had like leapfrogged the Law and Order guest star 965 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,760 Speaker 1: because I was like, okay, the leads and independent films, 966 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,080 Speaker 1: so then they, yeah, they would go to it. 967 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:50,919 Speaker 3: You were too too big for it when you start 968 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:51,799 Speaker 3: missed it. 969 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:56,200 Speaker 1: That being said. That being said, really there's some really 970 00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:01,040 Speaker 1: fun legal conspiracy shit coming up in season four of 971 00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,600 Speaker 1: The Morning Show. Oh okay, good And and every now 972 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,080 Speaker 1: and then Reesa and I will look at each other 973 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,080 Speaker 1: and joke and be like, this is kind of like 974 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,799 Speaker 1: our Law and Order. 975 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:13,719 Speaker 2: This is the perfect h You and I both did 976 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,680 Speaker 2: Celebrity Jeopardy. How did that go for you? 977 00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,920 Speaker 1: Dude? It was the dream of a lifetime. I mean, 978 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,480 Speaker 1: being on the stage was incredible. I was very nervous, 979 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,200 Speaker 1: tons of ego wrapped up in it, like really really 980 00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,239 Speaker 1: wanted to win, you know. And I did not win, 981 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,640 Speaker 1: and and and came home and was morbidly depressed for 982 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:36,520 Speaker 1: two hours until I realized, you idiot, it's a game, 983 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,919 Speaker 1: it's a game show, you know. But the most fun 984 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,919 Speaker 1: was and I'll have to share this with you later. 985 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,839 Speaker 1: My friend Ike Barnholts had won it the year before, right, 986 00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 1: and so I called him. I was like, dude, what 987 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,359 Speaker 1: are the tips he did? And he sent me like 988 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:53,360 Speaker 1: a three minute video with instructions on how to properly 989 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:57,240 Speaker 1: bring in Yes, and he gave me all the buzzer 990 00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,480 Speaker 1: stuff and it's so he took he took a pen back, 991 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,160 Speaker 1: you know, and he's like, when you buzzn't it's not 992 00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:02,799 Speaker 1: like this, not like once. He's like, He's like, it's 993 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: like you're playing Nintendo's because you lost out, you know. 994 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,480 Speaker 2: Yes, so yeah, and who did you? 995 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:10,719 Speaker 3: Who were your competitors? 996 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,360 Speaker 1: I played with my friend Uktars from the show Ghosts, 997 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:19,680 Speaker 1: and then Emily Hampshire who is the Levy the Levy Show. Yes, 998 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 1: and man, we had so much fun and it was 999 00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:24,520 Speaker 1: it was it was great. 1000 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,440 Speaker 3: Uh did you was yours? Did you get to do 1001 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,000 Speaker 3: it with Alex? 1002 00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:32,960 Speaker 1: No? No, mine was was post Alex was with Ken? Okay, 1003 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:33,920 Speaker 1: how did yours go? 1004 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:35,000 Speaker 3: It went fine? 1005 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 2: I got to do it with Alex. It was one 1006 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 2: of the last years and beautiful. 1007 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,240 Speaker 3: That was lovely. 1008 00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,360 Speaker 2: And my competitors were Chuck Todd from MSNBC, who's a friend, 1009 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:50,120 Speaker 2: and Jonathan Franzen, novelist very smart. 1010 00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:51,960 Speaker 1: I really love his books. 1011 00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, two very smart guys. It was a joy to 1012 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:56,520 Speaker 3: beat them both. 1013 00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:01,840 Speaker 2: But but yes, but but I can I tell you 1014 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,600 Speaker 2: I don't get nervous for TV at all, not even 1015 00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:06,799 Speaker 2: a little. It doesn't even register like the camera's on. 1016 00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,520 Speaker 2: I don't There's no difference to me. When I got 1017 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,960 Speaker 2: to Jeopardy, man, Yeah, the nerves came out of every 1018 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,759 Speaker 2: pore of my body. And you just I just didn't 1019 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,360 Speaker 2: want to be embarrassed. I did not care if I 1020 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,680 Speaker 2: want to hundred percent, I just don't want to be humiliated. 1021 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,240 Speaker 2: Where this is going to live forever somewhere. 1022 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,000 Speaker 1: I do a lot of game shows. I'm on the circuit. 1023 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 1: I did a celebrity Wheel of Fortune. 1024 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:31,920 Speaker 3: I get on the circuit. I love game shows. 1025 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,359 Speaker 1: It's so fun and you win so much money. It's 1026 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 1: the best robin hooding ever. I want one hundred thousand 1027 00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:42,080 Speaker 1: dollars on Wheel of Fortune for Smallscure Charity. Yeah, it's 1028 00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,319 Speaker 1: the greatest thing, Like I love it. 1029 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I did love winning for my charity No 1030 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,680 Speaker 2: Kid Hungry, which was great, But I want to get 1031 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:49,600 Speaker 2: on the game show circuit. 1032 00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:51,680 Speaker 3: It seems really okay, I got it, I got you, 1033 00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,280 Speaker 3: Set me up, Set me up. Okay, what's your favorite 1034 00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:56,800 Speaker 3: news show to watch? 1035 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,920 Speaker 1: That's a really good question, and it makes me realize 1036 00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:02,480 Speaker 1: that I don't really watch news shows. 1037 00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:03,759 Speaker 3: Good for you. 1038 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:08,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I had this moment post twenty sixteen 1039 00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:13,439 Speaker 1: election and my wife Katie got pretty obsessed and kind 1040 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,920 Speaker 1: of tanked pretty heavily. So I think in that moment, 1041 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,680 Speaker 1: I was trying to model like, hey, maybe we don't 1042 00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,680 Speaker 1: do news shows. Maybe we you know, open up our 1043 00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,560 Speaker 1: three sources and we read our articles and then we 1044 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 1: got that. And then I got a little healthier honestly, 1045 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,560 Speaker 1: by yeah, by not doing that. 1046 00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:34,000 Speaker 2: So I applaud that great. Brennan's or Cafe Dumont. 1047 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:38,680 Speaker 1: Oh, what a great question. I'm hitting you hard. Brennan's, 1048 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,960 Speaker 1: you know, and they own multiple restaurants. There are restaurants 1049 00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,160 Speaker 1: in New Orleans for those who are listening. 1050 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,360 Speaker 3: Yes, it's an empire of sorts. 1051 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,960 Speaker 1: So for me, for me, Cafe Dumont is it for 1052 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,560 Speaker 1: a number of reasons, because when you're grow up in 1053 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,440 Speaker 1: New Orleans. You start drinking at twelve, you start drinking 1054 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,400 Speaker 1: and driving at fifteen. I'm embarrassed to say, and I 1055 00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,800 Speaker 1: can't believe I'm alive with all the things I did. 1056 00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:03,160 Speaker 1: And what part of that process is when you're done 1057 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,560 Speaker 1: at two in the morning, Like there's no better way 1058 00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:08,759 Speaker 1: to soak up the alcohol than you know, big coffee 1059 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:12,680 Speaker 1: and Begnet's, you know. And then we developed this This 1060 00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,399 Speaker 1: is so I can't believe I've never even told the story. 1061 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,680 Speaker 1: You developed a system where the bathrooms a Cafe DeMont 1062 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,959 Speaker 1: in the quarter were just nasty because everybody was coming through. 1063 00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,360 Speaker 1: Of course, we always had to go to the bathroom. 1064 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,560 Speaker 1: And so what we would do is the boys are 1065 00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:26,160 Speaker 1: fine going to the bathroom standing up, but the girls 1066 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,000 Speaker 1: didn't want to sit on the seats, you know. But 1067 00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 1: a lot of them are too drunk. They're worried about 1068 00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:31,480 Speaker 1: the squat. So we would go in with our friends, 1069 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,600 Speaker 1: the girls into the and then we would hold out 1070 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,080 Speaker 1: our arms and they would like hold on and use 1071 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 1: that to squat over the caven DeMont toilets. Yeah, good friends, 1072 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,520 Speaker 1: you know. And I was a good Southern boy. I 1073 00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,800 Speaker 1: looked away, you know, it's amazing. Yeah, so deep history 1074 00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 1: of Cafe DeMont. Yeah. 1075 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,839 Speaker 3: Do you know what your classmate Michael White does? 1076 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:53,080 Speaker 1: Now? Yeah, he's a massive head basketball coach. Last I checked, 1077 00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:54,320 Speaker 1: he was Florida. 1078 00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,120 Speaker 3: I believe. Now he's University of Georgia. 1079 00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:57,440 Speaker 1: He's Georgia now yeah. 1080 00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,960 Speaker 3: He he he. 1081 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,799 Speaker 1: Mike and we were close in high school and you know, 1082 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,600 Speaker 1: went our separate ways. And he called me like six 1083 00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:10,239 Speaker 1: or seven years ago and it was really lovely. He 1084 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,359 Speaker 1: was just checking in on me, you know, and I 1085 00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:14,680 Speaker 1: was like, I was like, I was like, Mike, I 1086 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,319 Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to make this awkward, but like, 1087 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:20,359 Speaker 1: is the tenor of this call? Basically we're the two 1088 00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:23,040 Speaker 1: people who are a public profile, famous from our high 1089 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:24,839 Speaker 1: school and now we're talking about it. Is that what 1090 00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:25,240 Speaker 1: he says? 1091 00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:26,120 Speaker 3: Totally? 1092 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:31,239 Speaker 1: He was like, and he was like kinda yeah. Yeah. 1093 00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,120 Speaker 2: So Matt Welch, who seemed to have the lead in 1094 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,239 Speaker 2: every play, did he not go into the business. 1095 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:40,480 Speaker 1: I don't know, but wait, you are You're incredible. That 1096 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:44,160 Speaker 1: is a deep dive. No. I ran into him in 1097 00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,520 Speaker 1: an airport. You don't know what he's doing. Yeah, I 1098 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:49,080 Speaker 1: ran into an airport. I didn't recognize him. Because he 1099 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,640 Speaker 1: didn't have any more hair. Oh okay, you know, yeah, 1100 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,520 Speaker 1: but it was lovely. Yeah. 1101 00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:57,360 Speaker 2: The final question is very important to me spiritually culturally. 1102 00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 3: When is iced coffee season? 1103 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:04,200 Speaker 1: M hmm, well, I have a I have sort of 1104 00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:09,319 Speaker 1: a complicated relationship with coffee these days. I've been I'm 1105 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:15,000 Speaker 1: a big backpacker and hiker, and I've moved into like 1106 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,680 Speaker 1: green tea and mint tea when I'm out in the woods, 1107 00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,640 Speaker 1: and so I've tried to like bring that thing back 1108 00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:25,400 Speaker 1: into my life here. So I I swore off of 1109 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:31,600 Speaker 1: coffee about six months ago, and life is less good. Basically, 1110 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,200 Speaker 1: it's the answer is the answer, and I'm making I'm 1111 00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,120 Speaker 1: making do. But but what's fun is like I do 1112 00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:42,400 Speaker 1: treat myself, you know, like every couple of weeks, I 1113 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:45,360 Speaker 1: allow myself to have one and it is golden. 1114 00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,279 Speaker 2: If you were not off of coffee, what would you say? 1115 00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:50,520 Speaker 3: Iced coffee seasons. 1116 00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:55,760 Speaker 1: All year round in California, baby, all year round. 1117 00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,560 Speaker 3: It doesn't matter where you live, it's your. 1118 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,480 Speaker 1: Right way way and got seasons. We got ice coffee. 1119 00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,000 Speaker 3: There you go. 1120 00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,640 Speaker 2: I knew we'd get along. Mark du Plus, thank you 1121 00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,120 Speaker 2: so much. This was really really funny. 1122 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:12,080 Speaker 1: You blessay, Thanks Pal, Thank you. 1123 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,920 Speaker 2: Next week on Off the Cup, it's Andy Astroy, host 1124 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,400 Speaker 2: of In the back Room podcast. 1125 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,759 Speaker 4: I Feel Like My Life is about highs, lows, tragedies, 1126 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:26,920 Speaker 4: good times, love, heartbreak, insanity, and like I find myself, 1127 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,879 Speaker 4: I have found myself in crazy situations. 1128 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,160 Speaker 2: Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as 1129 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,240 Speaker 2: part of the Reasoned Choice Network. I'm your HOSTI Cupp 1130 00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,800 Speaker 2: editing and sound designed by Derek Clements. Our executive producers 1131 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:45,279 Speaker 2: are meet Sie Cup, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. If 1132 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,800 Speaker 2: you like Off the Cup, please rate and review wherever 1133 00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,920 Speaker 2: you get your podcasts, follow, or subscribe for new episodes 1134 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:58,279 Speaker 2: every Wednesday.