1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Brother. Please hear me, Please hear me. This is not

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,039
Speaker 1: a knock on you or your life or your upbringing.

3
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,920
Speaker 1: The reason he says it, it's not to make our

4
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,000
Speaker 1: lives bad or in any way to great us. He

5
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:27,479
Speaker 1: does it because he's protecting us from your story. Welcome

6
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,440
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. I love this guest. Chad Warren

7
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:36,879
Speaker 1: sitting to my left. So good to have you. Father, husband,

8
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:43,920
Speaker 1: pastor at first Baptist Georgetown and now assistant sixth grade

9
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:49,560
Speaker 1: girls basketball coach. Okay, how's that going. It's interesting you

10
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,520
Speaker 1: you don't know what kind of patience is required when

11
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 1: you are coaching sixth grade girls basketball. Okay, that's a

12
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,720
Speaker 1: new level. Maybe I'll be there one day. Yes, I

13
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,600
Speaker 1: hope you are, because it's a it's a process of

14
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,440
Speaker 1: just kind of taking off the rough edges. Listen is

15
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,960
Speaker 1: in fourth, Yeah, she's in fourth. So I'm right behind you.

16
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,920
Speaker 1: Because even coaching, the difference between coaching my sons and

17
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,080
Speaker 1: my and then coaching my daughter so different. Just yeah,

18
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,399
Speaker 1: I bet, I bet a different approach in every way.

19
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,480
Speaker 1: We have to add to your resume. Also, now you

20
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:30,320
Speaker 1: are podcast host, yes, of the Take and Read podcast.

21
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 1: That's Take and A and D Read podcast that could

22
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,600
Speaker 1: I could. I just say that because it makes me

23
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,720
Speaker 1: feel good to say it's a spin off of this podcast. Yes, absolutely,

24
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:46,160
Speaker 1: you are Grandfather Godfather like. It is absolutely a spin off,

25
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,160
Speaker 1: and I hope, I hope it keeps spinning. It's been

26
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 1: so fun. You've actually had Parker, me Bernie as guests.

27
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 1: Those are the three that I know that have been

28
00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:02,880
Speaker 1: on this microphone. So it is the in depth journey

29
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 1: that you could take after you hear this podcast and

30
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,800
Speaker 1: you go gyle le either they're talking about some some

31
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,600
Speaker 1: Bible stuff, and then the Take and Read podcast goes

32
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,720
Speaker 1: into the actual Bible. You have it open. You're actually

33
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:21,640
Speaker 1: going through scripture in a very entry level way, right,

34
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,000
Speaker 1: And I don't mean that in any kind of negative way,

35
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,119
Speaker 1: besides the fact that it's it's literally take the scripture,

36
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,600
Speaker 1: read it slowly, one line at a time, just a

37
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:36,920
Speaker 1: few lines, and discuss what jumps off the page at you.

38
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 1: You're not you're not referencing some deep theological sermon or

39
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,280
Speaker 1: you're just going what do you do? What do you

40
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,720
Speaker 1: think this means? Yeah, I mean part of the format

41
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,200
Speaker 1: is that a guest and you've experienced this now a

42
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,720
Speaker 1: couple of times. You are now our most frequent guest

43
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,600
Speaker 1: because you've been on there twice. But the idea is

44
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 1: that you don't know the passage. Yeah, because I don't

45
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 1: want you to be able to study it in advance

46
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:05,919
Speaker 1: research find cool nuanced things and definitions and commentaries. It's

47
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:10,440
Speaker 1: just two followers of the Lord breaking open the text

48
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 1: and reading it guided by the Holy Spirit. Let's have

49
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,040
Speaker 1: a conversation and let's apply this thing to our life.

50
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,800
Speaker 1: So good Man and I listened on the way to Thanksgiving.

51
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,680
Speaker 1: I listened to the one with you and Parker. Is

52
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,880
Speaker 1: that the most recent one? Well, yes, so, I mean

53
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: unless you count the one that you're in. Okay, that's

54
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,720
Speaker 1: the most recent one. Okay, I got you. So I

55
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,040
Speaker 1: listened to the one with you and Parker, and I

56
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,320
Speaker 1: was just I was. I really loved it. I really

57
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 1: loved the flow of it. So for you guys listening,

58
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 1: he releases on Wednesday, Take and Read podcast. Highly recommend it.

59
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 1: The format of this podcast is I answer your questions

60
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,240
Speaker 1: whatever they might be. It could be any subject. We

61
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 1: don't limit the subjects at all, and you'll find out

62
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,240
Speaker 1: today that they are all over the map. But you

63
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,520
Speaker 1: could email Granger Smith podcasted email dot com and then

64
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 1: Chad and I we'll go through this without notes, without preparation.

65
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,840
Speaker 1: Chad has not heard any of these questions, and I

66
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,040
Speaker 1: have only skimmed the first couple of lines and just

67
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,920
Speaker 1: enough to categorize what they're what they're going to be.

68
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,159
Speaker 1: And we we like to do it in a setting

69
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,040
Speaker 1: where it's almost like we're sitting around a campfire. I mean,

70
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,119
Speaker 1: we're camping and there's two of us and we're sitting

71
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,320
Speaker 1: on logs and there's enough there's a third person, and

72
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,640
Speaker 1: it goes you know, it's kind of quiet as we're

73
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 1: watching the fire crackle and you go, can I ask

74
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,680
Speaker 1: you guys something? You know, something I've been kind of

75
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,760
Speaker 1: wrestling with or something I'm excited about or a question

76
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,960
Speaker 1: I'm really trying to iron out in my life. And

77
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:42,880
Speaker 1: we go, okay, let's walk through this. Yeah, And like

78
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 1: that setting, you're not always going to take your friend's advice,

79
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,400
Speaker 1: but you know that there's no like, there's no motivation

80
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 1: to tell you other than what's on their mind. And

81
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,960
Speaker 1: they're they're gonna shoot straight with you. And that's what

82
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,039
Speaker 1: we're going to try to do, cause I mean it's

83
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,160
Speaker 1: inevitable we will get a question and we'll go, well

84
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,200
Speaker 1: that I have ten more questions based on their question

85
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,839
Speaker 1: about the scenario, and we just don't have that information.

86
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,919
Speaker 1: So we just man, we just go with what we

87
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: got and take it or leave it. Let me make

88
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,159
Speaker 1: a confession to you today, as I was prepping for

89
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,679
Speaker 1: this podcast, one of the questions that I was looking

90
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 1: at had a number on it, a phone number on it,

91
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,360
Speaker 1: and I was tempted to reach out to that phone

92
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,720
Speaker 1: number and say, could we put you live on the podcast?

93
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,919
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so comment below if that's something that that

94
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,280
Speaker 1: would might be interesting, if maybe once a podcast we

95
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,599
Speaker 1: actually call them, that would be awesome. That'd be wild.

96
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,799
Speaker 1: The only reason I didn't just jump on it today

97
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,600
Speaker 1: was I was like, technically, how am I going to

98
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,440
Speaker 1: hook the phone up? I tell, yeah, how am I

99
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,400
Speaker 1: going to like live while I'm doing this? And of

100
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,600
Speaker 1: course I could figure it out, but but I wanted

101
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,080
Speaker 1: to kind of just say it on the air with

102
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,360
Speaker 1: you too, that it is a possibility that one day

103
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: we could call somebody, read their question as they're on

104
00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 1: the phone, and then me and you walk through it

105
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,600
Speaker 1: and they could respond back. It would be kind of good.

106
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,000
Speaker 1: That would be Yeah, I'm up for that. That would

107
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,800
Speaker 1: be awesome. All right, first question of the day. You

108
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,200
Speaker 1: know I like to go with the light one. First

109
00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 1: I found this out septic line says my pups are

110
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,200
Speaker 1: frustrating sometimes. Hey Grange your My name is Austin. I

111
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 1: live in Virginia. Me and my fiance have two pups

112
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,920
Speaker 1: right now. One it's becoming really let me read this again.

113
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,239
Speaker 1: We have two pups right now and it's becoming really difficult.

114
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,719
Speaker 1: I don't have as much of an issue, but the

115
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,880
Speaker 1: puppies have gotten to be a good size where my

116
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 1: fiance is finding it hard to control them. We love

117
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,239
Speaker 1: them so much. We're taking we are taking it really

118
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 1: hard and having so much trouble. We've contemplated selling them

119
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,159
Speaker 1: to a good home. But I just can't help feeling

120
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,719
Speaker 1: like I would be abandoning them just because the going

121
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,919
Speaker 1: is getting tough. Any advice would be much appreciated. To

122
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,760
Speaker 1: look forward to listening to your podcast. Austin, you have

123
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:59,280
Speaker 1: any dogs we have? Yeah, we have our dog and

124
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 1: we were never gonna to have dogs. And then I

125
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,240
Speaker 1: was in Africa and Uganda and I was up in

126
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,760
Speaker 1: a mountain village there speaking to some pastors and after lunch,

127
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,640
Speaker 1: one of them came out with a box that had

128
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,040
Speaker 1: a puppy in it, and it was a gift. Now,

129
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 1: normally you can expect a goat or a chicken, which

130
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,320
Speaker 1: is something that you would then butcher and eat. And

131
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 1: everyone I was with was like, you can't eat a dog.

132
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,080
Speaker 1: What are you going to do with this thing? So

133
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,200
Speaker 1: my wife, trying to kind of be good and supportive,

134
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 1: who had always said we're never going to own a dog,

135
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,400
Speaker 1: partially because there's I mean, there's a lot of factors,

136
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,440
Speaker 1: but so not that we don't like dogs, but she said, yeah, sure,

137
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,840
Speaker 1: if you can get him home. We found a way

138
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,800
Speaker 1: to get him home. So we have a dog. He's

139
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,400
Speaker 1: two years old. And I can relate to Austin's sentiment.

140
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:55,720
Speaker 1: Puppies are challenging. They are destructive. They are like, yeah,

141
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 1: obviously there's good methods of training, but they can still

142
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,840
Speaker 1: just get they can fry straight. Yeah, totally, Austin. I

143
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,960
Speaker 1: got a couple a couple of directions. I can go

144
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,920
Speaker 1: with you here. First, I want to, just like Chad,

145
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 1: I want to affirm your your struggle. I want to

146
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,440
Speaker 1: tell you I want to speak into you right now

147
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,440
Speaker 1: that that rehoming this these dogs or this or one

148
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:21,000
Speaker 1: dog is is not a knock on you. It's not bad.

149
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,160
Speaker 1: It's not a bad thing. You're you're not abandoning him

150
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 1: as long as you're rehoming properly, responsibly rehoming this dog,

151
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 1: and you're you're making a conscious effort to find the

152
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,880
Speaker 1: right home. Hey, but there's nothing wrong with that. I

153
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,280
Speaker 1: would rather you do that. Then you just kindle this

154
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 1: dog and it just has a terrible life in your apartment.

155
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,320
Speaker 1: But there's a couple of more components of this one.

156
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,199
Speaker 1: What you're feeling is very normal and will go away

157
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,240
Speaker 1: when they hit about two years old. Yeah, but somewhere

158
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,800
Speaker 1: around two, there's like this magical time in a dog's

159
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 1: life where that just become a good dog. You get

160
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 1: you get as a puppy, they're so cute, and then

161
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,600
Speaker 1: they get to this teenage age, which I have one

162
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:09,720
Speaker 1: right now. She's about twenty months, eighteen twenty months something

163
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,040
Speaker 1: like that, and it's just like they're like a teenager.

164
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:17,840
Speaker 1: Just yes, like they know the rules, but they sometimes

165
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,920
Speaker 1: will look at you and do the opposite. Yeah, you're like,

166
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 1: what you know better? So you could I could suggest this,

167
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,160
Speaker 1: but it costs money, but you could ship them away

168
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,320
Speaker 1: to some kind of doggy boot camp. I know they

169
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:36,480
Speaker 1: have them in Austin, and it's expensive, it's like a

170
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,800
Speaker 1: thousand bucks, but they're gone and they'll take them for

171
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 1: four to six weeks and they will come back a

172
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,480
Speaker 1: new dog. And you have to do some training too,

173
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,320
Speaker 1: because they are now accustomed to a certain type of

174
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,160
Speaker 1: commands and treatment and triggers and so you've got to

175
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,480
Speaker 1: learn all that stuff. Yeah, and I'm like right there

176
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 1: on the fence right now with our youngest Luna, I'm like,

177
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,439
Speaker 1: I don't really want to spend thousand dollars on this dog.

178
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,680
Speaker 1: And from the very beginning, I was like, I'm not

179
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 1: going to do that. I'm not gonna do that to

180
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,960
Speaker 1: the I'm going to train this dog myself. But then

181
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,560
Speaker 1: I start touring and then we have a baby, and

182
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe I should ship this dog away from

183
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 1: how she's She's like twenty months, so you're like four

184
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,199
Speaker 1: to five months away from the chill out period. But

185
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,319
Speaker 1: this summer, I think she's gonna start chilling out. So

186
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,960
Speaker 1: so there's that Those are the different components. Or you

187
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 1: could do it yourself and just wait out the storm.

188
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:36,200
Speaker 1: But I understand your frustration and you guys, you don't

189
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,400
Speaker 1: want to be doing this with a baby. So if

190
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,600
Speaker 1: you guys are planning on you know, if the wedding soon,

191
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,319
Speaker 1: you got a baby coming soon, you don't want to

192
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,920
Speaker 1: be dealing with this and a newborn in the house.

193
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,240
Speaker 1: So I would you could also much a much cheaper

194
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,440
Speaker 1: option is you could do the puppy class with them

195
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,600
Speaker 1: and do a group class. Yeah, you can do obedience training, yeah,

196
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,280
Speaker 1: where you're there, and that's that's instead of a thousand bucks,

197
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,000
Speaker 1: that's like a hundred bucks, which is still a chunk

198
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 1: of change. But you show up with the dog and

199
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,959
Speaker 1: like every Monday, you know, Mondays at six pm. I

200
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,000
Speaker 1: remember doing that with a lab I had many years ago.

201
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:16,120
Speaker 1: So and that's probably more accountability that the dog will

202
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 1: get trained and you will be an effective dog owner

203
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,160
Speaker 1: than like watching YouTube channels, because there are YouTube channels

204
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,800
Speaker 1: that are like, you know, learn to train your dog

205
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,200
Speaker 1: in seven steps, are it's not gonna work. So funny story,

206
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,080
Speaker 1: I remember taking my lab Rio. This was in two

207
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,920
Speaker 1: thousand and two. I got this dog. I was living

208
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:37,800
Speaker 1: by myself in Nashville, got this dog, and you know,

209
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,800
Speaker 1: it was the great, great idea of getting this puppy,

210
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,160
Speaker 1: and he was awesome, and then he hits this teenage stage.

211
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,480
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, grab, I'm gonna sign him up.

212
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,240
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to a camp together. So he signed

213
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 1: up for this this training every Monday, and day one

214
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,040
Speaker 1: I showed up with him and they had they had

215
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: this table, this like folding table set up with all

216
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,320
Speaker 1: these papers and they were taken. There was a line

217
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,680
Speaker 1: of people and everyone was signing up, you know, to

218
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,480
Speaker 1: join the class. And so I go up there with

219
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:08,199
Speaker 1: Rio on the leash, and he sees another dog and

220
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:11,120
Speaker 1: he takes off and his leash wraps around that falling table.

221
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 1: It just whips it up, whips it together. The whole

222
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,199
Speaker 1: table collapses and all the papers go everywhere. That's like

223
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,320
Speaker 1: a movie scene. You got the most challenging dog, and

224
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,760
Speaker 1: this is what happens at doggy training. And all I

225
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,760
Speaker 1: could say was now you know why I'm here, and

226
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,040
Speaker 1: everyone just kind of laughed. I mean, in any other

227
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,960
Speaker 1: situation it would have been terrible, except for the doggy

228
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,120
Speaker 1: training class. We go, yeah, well, welcome, welcome to the class.

229
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:39,200
Speaker 1: Good question, awesome, good luck to you brother. One more

230
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,760
Speaker 1: easy one Granger. I was wondering what you put in

231
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,880
Speaker 1: your coffee every morning? Do you drink black, cream, sugar, etc.

232
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,440
Speaker 1: I love what you do. Thanks for thanks for always

233
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,160
Speaker 1: being there for us fans. This comes from Michael, So

234
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,680
Speaker 1: keep in mind this is he's just fresh off of

235
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,640
Speaker 1: brushing his teeth and they're minty clean. That's right. If

236
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 1: you want to know the backstory of that goes, check

237
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,640
Speaker 1: out the first episode of the Take and Read podcast.

238
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,520
Speaker 1: We hear about his morning routine. So he's got mint

239
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,960
Speaker 1: on the mouth, he's minty. So what do you pair

240
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,959
Speaker 1: with mint in your coffee? Oh? Chad loves the story,

241
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 1: but I like to drink drink coffee after I brushed

242
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,320
Speaker 1: my teeth in the morning. Comment below, do you brush

243
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,040
Speaker 1: your teeth after you drink coffee or before? I like

244
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,199
Speaker 1: to wake up and brush my teeth and then drink coffee.

245
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 1: I know it's weird. Obviously Chad really thinks it's weird.

246
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 1: I've gotten more comments about that than anything else in

247
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,480
Speaker 1: the emails that I get. And now people in the

248
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,000
Speaker 1: subject line will put the order of events. They'll put

249
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,600
Speaker 1: like brush, coffee brush or double brush. Yeah there's some

250
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:45,200
Speaker 1: double brush lash there. Yeah, that's rush when the gums.

251
00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:47,480
Speaker 1: And some people are like, well, it depends on the

252
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,040
Speaker 1: time of day, Like for Granger, it's first thing in

253
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,720
Speaker 1: the morning. But some people are like, I brush my

254
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,240
Speaker 1: teeth first because I don't drink coffee for another couple hours.

255
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that makes sense. Some are moms that just,

256
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,080
Speaker 1: you know, the morning happens and then they're getting kids

257
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 1: to school and things are happening. But you it's like

258
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,440
Speaker 1: you wake up, guzzle water, brush your teeth, then get

259
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 1: ready for your nice cup of coffee. So what do

260
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,679
Speaker 1: you put in your Okay, okay, I don't put anything

261
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,760
Speaker 1: in my coffee, just straight black. And I used to

262
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: I've gone through phases in my life where I'll go

263
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 1: I'll get really into like drip coffee or French press.

264
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: And I used to do this on the bus. I

265
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,320
Speaker 1: would get like really good beans and then grind them

266
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 1: and then French press that are dripped and get really

267
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,560
Speaker 1: into it. And I always go back to the cake cup,

268
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:46,280
Speaker 1: the curried cup. I'm just like, man, there's luckily, I

269
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,600
Speaker 1: feel like I'm very blessed in this aspect. I don't

270
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm not a coffee snob and I'm definitely not a

271
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 1: wine snob, like, thank god, I don't have a high,

272
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,760
Speaker 1: high falutin taste for right, that can get spendy gosh. Yeah,

273
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,000
Speaker 1: And same with coffee, like I'll take I mean, I

274
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,880
Speaker 1: don't want the cheapest stuff you got, but give me

275
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,480
Speaker 1: the next level up from your cheapest stuff, I'll drink

276
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 1: it black good to go. Yeah, that's so good. Do

277
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 1: you visit like when you're on tour, do you visit

278
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 1: coffee shops? Yeah? Yeah, we Actually I do like coffee

279
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 1: shops because usually it's the first thing that's open in

280
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 1: the town that we go to park and it's seven

281
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 1: in the morning, I get up the bus and the

282
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 1: coffee shop is the only place that's opened, so you

283
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 1: can go in there. You can you can get like

284
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 1: maybe a small breakfast like a taco or something, and

285
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 1: then a cup of coffee. And I will say that

286
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: if it's I never try to drink a coffee after

287
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 1: three o'clock in the afternoon, that will affect my nighttime.

288
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,520
Speaker 1: But if it's like two o'clock, one o'clock, and I'll

289
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,800
Speaker 1: go to a coffee shop, I could do cream then,

290
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,880
Speaker 1: like okay, I could do a cappuccino. Yeah, but first

291
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,360
Speaker 1: thing in the morning, it's always black. What do you

292
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,800
Speaker 1: do You ever drink coffee pregame? Like before a show?

293
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,800
Speaker 1: Do you have to think about what you eat and

294
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 1: drink in order, like how that's gonna affect your energy?

295
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 1: And there's times when I do. There's times when I

296
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 1: had a three am, you know, airport call, and then

297
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 1: the show's at ten pm that night, and I didn't

298
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 1: have time for a nap, and I'll just I'll have

299
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,800
Speaker 1: to weigh it out, like do I want to have

300
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: a have a better show with a kick of caffeine,

301
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 1: or do I want to make sure I have a

302
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,520
Speaker 1: good night's sleep tonight? And sometimes I could weigh it

303
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 1: out where it's like, man, I'm so tired, I'm gonna

304
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: go to sleep after the show no matter what. So

305
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee right for the show, give me

306
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 1: energized for that ninety minutes? Yea, And it literally does.

307
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,120
Speaker 1: It will energize me just for that show, and then

308
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 1: I can come off the stage and still crash pretty quick.

309
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 1: I go, I go to sleep fast after my show. Okay,

310
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 1: we we were introduced, my wife and I were introduced

311
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 1: the concept of a Napa Chino. Okay, now I don't

312
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:04,679
Speaker 1: know if this is true, but we believe Again, I

313
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 1: don't know that this is true, but that it takes

314
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 1: about twenty minutes for caffeine to hit the system. So

315
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 1: there's something about if you like just down a cup

316
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 1: of coffee or some sort of caffeine without sugar in it,

317
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 1: and then can go and sleep for twenty minutes, you'll

318
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 1: wake up feeling like eight hours of sleep just you've

319
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:31,360
Speaker 1: done this. Yeah, it works sometimes sometimes if I can

320
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: get to sleep and it's a good sleep, twenty minutes, bam,

321
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,080
Speaker 1: I wake up and I feel restored. Interesting the Napa Chino.

322
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 1: The key is you can't have sugar in that because

323
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: you're not going to fall asleep. You don't have sugar

324
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 1: regardless of any No, that stuff bad for you. Yeah,

325
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,480
Speaker 1: we can talk about it another time. Hey, side note,

326
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,240
Speaker 1: I think I might have told you this before. There's

327
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:55,439
Speaker 1: been scientific studies on rats. You can addict rats, if

328
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 1: that's what is that a word? Addict? You could make

329
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 1: rats addicted to cocaine in a cage and introduce sugar.

330
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 1: They will reject the cocaine and go to the sugar

331
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 1: every time. Come on, what does he say? What does

332
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 1: that say about us, Right, what does that say about

333
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 1: our sugar addictions? Worse than cocaine? Yeah? All right, let's

334
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 1: get you another question. Is that one of those comments

335
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 1: that will make the tagline of the worst than cocaine? Maybe?

336
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 1: So the thumbnail yes, okay, this one says friends parentheses

337
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 1: for Granger and pastor Chad. Oh right on high Granger

338
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 1: and Pastor Chad. I'm right outside of Seattle, Washington. I'm

339
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 1: turning sixteen in June, and I go to a good

340
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 1: sized church, about fifteen hundred members. That is good size,

341
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 1: especially for Seattle. I have had I have not had

342
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 1: any friends for about four to five years ever since

343
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,199
Speaker 1: becoming homeschooled. I have a few people I talk to,

344
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,719
Speaker 1: but none I'm close with because we have nothing in common.

345
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: They like cameras and businesses. I like snowmobiling, biking, hunting,

346
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 1: and scuba diving. When I talk about anything that they

347
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 1: don't like, they get annoyed and board. How can I

348
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: find people I have more things in common with and

349
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 1: make friends? Timmy, it comes from Timmy and so Timmy sixteen,

350
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 1: sixteen years old, homeschool so probably sixteen is what junior? Yeah, sophomore,

351
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,439
Speaker 1: sophomore sophomore junior year. So man, right off the bat,

352
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: Right off the bat, I would say, I would say,

353
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,160
Speaker 1: these hobbies that you mentioned, where's he from? Seattle, snowma, biling,

354
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: dirt biking, hunting, and scuba diving. Doesn't it feel like, Timmy,

355
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,640
Speaker 1: you could go to the places where these things are

356
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 1: done and find like minded people. Right off the bat. Yeah,

357
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,640
Speaker 1: and it sounds like the people that he does laugh with,

358
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 1: whether it's at church or it's because he goes to

359
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 1: a pretty large church he said, fifteen hundred people. Yep,

360
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 1: it's you know, a youth group setting, or maybe it's

361
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: within the home school kind of world that he's in

362
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: a homeschool co op that he just tends not to

363
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 1: be doing life with the same people that enjoy the

364
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: stuff that he does outside of that. So I can

365
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:15,200
Speaker 1: see the challenge. Sure, that's definitely challenging. Yeah, I see

366
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 1: the challenge, Timmy. I would go to you got winter

367
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 1: coming up? This this this email came yesterday, so we're relevant.

368
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: We got winter time coming up. I would go to

369
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,479
Speaker 1: the mountain, and what's the mountain right outside of Seattle.

370
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: It's beautiful mountain. Rin Near is south of Seattle. There's

371
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 1: a good ski resort not far from him called Mission Ridge.

372
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 1: The Mission Ridge, I'm a fan of. It's you have

373
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: to kind of go over the cascades. I would go there,

374
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: and I would go to the snowmobiling place, the rental place,

375
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 1: you know, and I would go up to the dude

376
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: that works there and just go, hey, my name is

377
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: Timmy Man. I love snowmobiling, and I don't have anybody

378
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: to do it with me. Yeah, is there anyone that

379
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: comes in here every day? And he's probably going to go, Man,

380
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 1: everyone that comes here left snow. Yeah, come come back

381
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 1: here tomorrow at three o'clock. We have a group going.

382
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: There's seven of us, and we take the hard trail. Yeah,

383
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 1: you know, and it's we go overnight, we camp, and

384
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're just gonna fall face first into this

385
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: group of friends that love what you do. And I

386
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: would say too that if you if you found that

387
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: there was maybe somebody that was even slightly receptive to

388
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 1: the times that you talked about snowmobiling or hunting or

389
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: just outdoor adventures, invite them and totally just figure out

390
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: a way to make it where it costs them nothing, Like, Hey,

391
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: just come with me, have you ever gone hunting, or

392
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: have you ever stalked an animal? Or have you ever

393
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 1: gone snowmobiling. I'd love for you to be my guest.

394
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: I want you to check it out because it is

395
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: so cool, and just see if there's somebody that's been

396
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: somewhat receptive and invite them along. I got something for you.

397
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: Just just just occurred to me when you were saying it.

398
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,160
Speaker 1: So for some reason, I was wondering why he said,

399
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: these people have nothing in common with me. They like

400
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 1: cas and businesses. It's weird that he said that. But

401
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 1: when you said it, you started saying, I said, I thought, man,

402
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: ask the camera guy to go and come in videos

403
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: as part of a business and make a cool videos.

404
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: Make a video or a hunting Yeah, hunting all the

405
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: show perfect. Go to your camera guy. I mean that's

406
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: what I've done my whole life. I gravitate towards the

407
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: camera guys, and I'm like, hey, will you come to

408
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: my show and film and this is perfect. There's your connection, Tommy.

409
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: When you have a really famous hunting show on Netflix,

410
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: we're going to call that the second spin off, Timmy. Yes, okay,

411
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 1: we only take ten percent. Well, we got time for

412
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: one more question here, let's knock one out. Gosh, I

413
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 1: don't know if this is going to be easier or not.

414
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 1: The title is Pastor Chad am I wrong? All right? Hey?

415
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,199
Speaker 1: Their My name is Tess. I've really enjoyed listening to

416
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: the podcast, especially when Pastor Chad is on. I'm a

417
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,680
Speaker 1: single mother with a young son. I left my husband

418
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 1: because he had anger issues. He was emotionally, mentally and

419
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 1: physically abusive towards me. We were married for six years

420
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: without really realizing I was living in domestic violence. I've

421
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 1: been told by many, including pastors, that I have no

422
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: grounds for leaving him parentheses filing for divorce because there

423
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 1: wasn't infidelity and he didn't leave me. I believe this

424
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 1: to be legalistic. We've tried counseling, and I wanted him

425
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: to admit he had anger issues. He never did, and

426
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 1: thought that the problem was our marriage instead. I don't

427
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: know if I've gone against God, and I'm just confused

428
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: as to what I should have done. I think about

429
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: this quite often, so I hope you could lead me

430
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: to some insight. I appreciate it. God bless tests. So

431
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 1: she's asking if she's wrong to have either filed for

432
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 1: divorce or to have left. I would say, if you

433
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: if somebody is in an abusive relationship, there is no

434
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: question get out of that. Separate yourself from the situation

435
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: immediately for you and your son. So I don't think

436
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: you're wrong to do that. So that's her question. She's

437
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: saying because there wasn't domestic violence. I thought she was

438
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: saying because there wasn't infidelity, because I'm sorry there wasn't infidelity.

439
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. I read that wrong without realizing

440
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: that I was living in domestic violence, but there wasn't infidelity.

441
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: There is, Yeah, I would say, truly, you're right in

442
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 1: separating yourself from the situation for both you and your son.

443
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: That is absolutely supported. You know, husbands are called to

444
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 1: live with their lives in an understanding way, to regard

445
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: them as the weaker vessel, meaning there to be their protectors,

446
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: not the one that brings them harm. And so in

447
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 1: that circumstance, any husband that is abusive in any way,

448
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 1: shape or form is in violation of what they've been

449
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: called to do. To love their bride like Christ loves

450
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 1: the church like that's a clear violation it does. You know,

451
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: there are definitely passages that talk about grounds for divorce,

452
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 1: and there's even theological positions and theologians that talk about

453
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: there's no grounds for divorce, and that the passages within

454
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 1: Matthew that kind of give grounds for divorce are no

455
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 1: grounds at all. And so without going into that level

456
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 1: of theological controversy, there's certainly a wise step that you've taken.

457
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: And it is God's heart that nobody divorces anybody who's

458
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: been married his desire because of what marriage means and

459
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: how it represents him and his church. That's never his desire. However,

460
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 1: we live in a fallen and broken world, and so

461
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: there are going to be times where the marriage is

462
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: fractured and is broken, but know this, it is never

463
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: his desire. Yeah, that a marriage not work. He also

464
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 1: never desires anyone to be lost. He wants he desires

465
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: all to be saved. He desires there never to be murder.

466
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: But we know that not everyone's saved. We know that

467
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: there is murder, We know that there is divorce, and

468
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 1: he calls it. He Paul talks about this in the

469
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: New Testament. For those that are for women that become

470
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: Christians and are with unbelieving husbands. He does not tell

471
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: them to divorce their unbelieving husbands, but he says to

472
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 1: live with them in an understanding way and to serve

473
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: them and to love them in an effort to possibly

474
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: win them to the Lord. Now, this circumstance is different

475
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: because there is this abusive component. You know, so you're

476
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: not wrong to separate. The question about divorce is a

477
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: much more difficult question. My encouragement in this situation is

478
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: to remain soparated. But if if you're willing to engage

479
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: in counseling, pastoral counseling or professional Christian counseling, do that

480
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: and see if there's a way that restoration of your

481
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: marriage can occur. I would say divorce is a last

482
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 1: absolute last, last last resort. Is that she's going through

483
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: it or she hasn't divorced yet. Seems like she said

484
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: I left my husband, but they do sound like there's

485
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 1: not finalized yet. Yeah, Okay, we're gonna take a break

486
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna be back and I'm gonna I'm

487
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: gonna stick on this question. Test. I want to I

488
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: want to talk about something that you might be wrong about,

489
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 1: and I'll leave it at that. Thanks, for listening. Everybody

490
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: sponsor for today's podcast is story Worth This holiday season.

491
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: I want to give the gift to my loved ones

492
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: that make them feel special and unique, just like the

493
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 1: relationship that we share. That's why I'm giving everyone I

494
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 1: care about story Worth. This is a great story worth is.

495
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: It's an online service that helps you and your loved

496
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: ones preserve precious memories and stories for year to come,

497
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: years to come. It's a thoughtful and meaningful gift that

498
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 1: connects you to those who matter the most. See every week,

499
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: story Worth emails your relative or friend a thought provoking

500
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: question of your choice from their vast pool of possible options.

501
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: Each unique prompt asked the question that you never thought ask, like,

502
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: for instance, what's the bravest thing you've ever done in

503
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: your life? Or if you could see into the future,

504
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: what would you find out? Just really unique questions that

505
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: would that would help really pinpoint a really precious memory

506
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: from this person. And after one year, story Worth will

507
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: compile compile all of your loved ones stories, including photos,

508
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: into a beautiful keepsake book that you'll be able to

509
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: share and revisit for generations to come. So perfect for

510
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: somebody that is really hard to buy for during the

511
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: holiday season, like they have everything or they're content with everything,

512
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't just go and buy them something.

513
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: So this is something that is more meaningful that they could.

514
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: They could really cherish and it's a great gift to give.

515
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: With story Worth, I'm giving those I love most a

516
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: thoughtful personal gift from the heart and preserving their memories

517
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: and stories for years to come. Go to story worth

518
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: dot com slash granger and save ten dollars on your

519
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: first purchase. That's storyworth dot com slash granger to save

520
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: ten dollars on your first purchase. Also have to thank

521
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: Raycon for sponsoring the podcast today. It's never too early

522
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: to start gift shopping for the holidays, especially because today

523
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: you could save on a big gift that they'll use

524
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: every single day. Raycon wireless earbuds. You could save big

525
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: on this right now if you listen to what I'm saying.

526
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: I have talked about Raycon for a long time. They

527
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 1: are amazing wireless earbuds, and I have to use them

528
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: all the time. I have to use them on planes

529
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: and traveling on the bus and listening to podcasts, researching

530
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: different different sermon ideas that I'm gonna do. I'm always

531
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: list listening, listening, listening, and right now I'm working on

532
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: new music, so I've got to be listening a lot

533
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: for that too. But with seamless Bluetooth pairing and a

534
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: comfortable noise isolating fit, you could start listening right away

535
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 1: and keep listening for hours. The audio quality is amazing

536
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: compared to what you get from other premium brands, except

537
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: Raycon starts at half the price. The new everyday earbuds

538
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: come with three new sound profiles to make sure that

539
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: you're listening to exactly what you want to be listening

540
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: to with just the right amount of base. They have

541
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: pure Mode, Balance Mode, and bass Mode, depending on what

542
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: you're listening to. Raycon offers eight hours of playtime and

543
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: a thirty two hour battery life that's really good. There's

544
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: also a built in mic, so you could take calls

545
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: on your earbuds at just the press of a button.

546
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 1: This holiday season, get them something they could use for

547
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: calls or music or work or play at home or

548
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: on the go, or pick up a few a pair

549
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,479
Speaker 1: for yourself. Trust me, you're going to use them every

550
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: single day. Go to buy Raycon Dot com slash s

551
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: granger today and unlock exclusive deals up to twenty percent

552
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: off your Raycon order. But hurried. This offer is available

553
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: for a limited time only, and you don't want to

554
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: miss it. That's by Raycon r a y con dot

555
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: com slash Stranger to unlock a twenty percent off your

556
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: next Raycons by Raycon dot com slash Granger. And finally,

557
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: today's podcast is brought to you by a ship Station,

558
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: another wonderful company I read all the time on this podcast.

559
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year,

560
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: but if you're running an online store, you could know

561
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: they could also be the craziest time of the year.

562
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: You've got inventory to manage, orders to fill in a

563
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: growing list of stressed out customers checking in twice a day,

564
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: wondering whether those last minute gifts will even arrive in time.

565
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: With Shipstation, the hassle of shipping out holiday orders melts away,

566
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: leaving you with a happier customer and more freedom to

567
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: run your business or enjoy some much needed time off.

568
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: We have used ship Station for a long time at

569
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: Egu Apparel, and it has constantly leveled up our game

570
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: and allowed us to not worry so much about the

571
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: intricacies of the very complicated shipping business, but just a

572
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: few clicks of a button, you could actually even use

573
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,239
Speaker 1: your cell phone. You're running an online store and we

574
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: love it for that. No matter how big or small

575
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: we've been in the past, ship Station has worked perfectly

576
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: for us. If you sell anything online, I don't need

577
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: to tell you that it could be super frustrating to

578
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: ship and there's so many carriers. I mean, how do

579
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 1: you even know where to start, and with all these

580
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: people shopping this year, it just adds to the stress.

581
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: Ship Station makes it easy to run your part of

582
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 1: your business in your online store, so you can get

583
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: back to doing what you're most passionate about. That's growing

584
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: your business easily, input import orders for every sales channel,

585
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: whether it's Amazon, eBay, Etsy or your own website, and

586
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: just automate any shipping task so it's all from an

587
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: very easy to use dash. You could change your shipping solution,

588
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: and that just seems daunting. It seems very difficult. But

589
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: with the holidays here, it's time to start thinking about

590
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: making a change. Ship Station works with all the major

591
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: carriers like FedEx, UPS, USPS, and you could even get

592
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: discounted rates that are usually reserved for just the big,

593
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: big time fortune five hundred companies. So not only is

594
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: shipping easy with shipstation, but you could actually save money.

595
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: And ninety eight percent of the companies that use ship

596
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: station for a year keep on using it for their business.

597
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: It's that good. Make this holiday season a little brighter

598
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 1: with ship station. Use my offer code granger to get

599
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: a sixty day free trial, just enough time to handle

600
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: the holiday rush. Just go to shipstation dot com, click

601
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: on the microphone at the top of the page and

602
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: enter the code granger. Shipstation make ship Happen. Okay, So, Tess,

603
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: I want to say something here, And the only reason

604
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to say this coming out of this break

605
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: is I want to go through all of these emails

606
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: that you guys send with the fine tooth coment. I

607
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: want to read. I want to read through what it

608
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: sounds like you're saying. And so, first of all, I

609
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: want to I just want to acknowledge that I think

610
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,919
Speaker 1: you're doing everything right. I think you're right to leave

611
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: a domestic violence abusive relationship, absolutely, But I want to

612
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: lean into something you said and wonder if there is

613
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: something in here that maybe is something you could wrestle

614
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 1: within yourself. When you said this, you said we tried counseling,

615
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: and I just wanted him to admit he had anger issues.

616
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: He never did and thought the problem was our marriage.

617
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 1: We can't always go into problems with one hundred percent

618
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: fingers facing the other way, with none facing us. And

619
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you were wrong or he was

620
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: all right or wrong, And I'm just saying when you're

621
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: when you're going into counseling as if it's all him,

622
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: even it might be, but you're going into counseling like

623
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: it is all his problem and you just need him

624
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: to admit that he's wrong. You're not going to get

625
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: a positive result out of that. You're never gonna get

626
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: He's not gonna go, Okay, you're right, babe, you were

627
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: right all along. I admit it. I have anger issues,

628
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: like that's not gonna He's just not gonna do that

629
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 1: unless you go into the counseling and go, babe, I

630
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: got I have things I have to work on too,

631
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: And I want you to know that I love you,

632
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 1: and I decided to love you a long time ago,

633
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: and that's why we got married. And that's why we

634
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 1: had a child together. And although I'm not happy with

635
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: the way that this is turning out right now, I

636
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 1: want you to know that I'm also working on myself

637
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: as well, and see if that kind of humility not

638
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: back in down to him not not admitting that he's

639
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 1: right about any kind of abuse. But if you just

640
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: approach with a humility into counseling, of wonder if that

641
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: changes anything. Yeah, I mean the passagen I think it's

642
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: First Corinthians seven where it talks about unbelieving wives, you know,

643
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: staying with or believing wives with unbelieving husbands. The idea

644
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: is that they would remain with their husbands in a

645
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: in a humble with a humble heart, right, And so

646
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 1: this idea of humility God uses that it's transformative when

647
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: when that happens, and so there is something to be said.

648
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: Now again we're not saying, hey, go and just you know,

649
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: engage in a relationship and just go into this abusive

650
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 1: situation again, be wise, and but don't give up on

651
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: the marriage. That's what I would say, that fight for

652
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: the marriage because God's desires that your marriage would display,

653
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 1: you know, Christ's love to a watching world and to

654
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: see restoration and that would be my heart. Again, not

655
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 1: having met you don't know many details about the situation,

656
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 1: but divorce is absolutely a last resort and so protect

657
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: you and your son. But as Granger said, see counseling

658
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: and ask the Lord for a heart of humility as

659
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 1: you engage in that counseling and see if there's work

660
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 1: that he wants to do in you. Yeah, and he

661
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: might do that in you and through you to your husband.

662
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: God is fully capable of changing the heart of your husband. Absolutely. Absolutely.

663
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: A quick answer to what I thank you, what you

664
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: really wanted us to say is are these pastors wrong

665
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: by telling you you have no grounds for leaving him? Yes,

666
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 1: they're wrong. You're wrong about that. You absolutely you're domestically abused.

667
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: You absolutely have grounds for leaving for protection. So there

668
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,919
Speaker 1: is that, but that's not that's not the whole story here, right,

669
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: So yeah, And it's the difference between leaving or separating

670
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: versus divorce. There's all kinds of theological discussion that can

671
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: happen around that. Absolutely, and you picked the easy one

672
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 1: on that last one that I get so many emails

673
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: for you now, and I told you this before we

674
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: started that I literally have to just file them away

675
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: and I'm never going to get to all of them.

676
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: But so I'm wondering do we keep doing these Pastor

677
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 1: Chad emails? Because here's another one. Okay, so it's four

678
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: Pastor Chad High Granger and Pastor Chad is church really important?

679
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: My name is Zach. I'm nineteen years old. Growing up,

680
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: I was always told that going to services is important,

681
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 1: but I couldn't really understand why. And recently I found

682
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: that I connected to God much better when I prayed

683
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: to Him on my own rather than praying together with

684
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: the congregation. I love your music, Ranger. I was just

685
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: hit your show and war in Ohio had an amazing time.

686
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:56,399
Speaker 1: You really made me feel like I was very special. Okay,

687
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: so this comes from Zach nineteen. This is a simple answer, really,

688
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 1: and Zach, yes, it's important, it's important, but it's not

689
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: the first step. It's not the first Going to church

690
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: is not your first step. And so if you're looking

691
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 1: at it like do I need to go to church

692
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 1: to get closer to God? The answers no. That answers

693
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 1: always know. In fact, we had a discussion before this

694
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: podcast about other religions that would think that Yeah, that

695
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 1: was you. You do things to get closer to God.

696
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: You pray, you repent, you go to church, You help

697
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 1: old ladies across the street more and more and more

698
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: and more, and you get closer to God. That's not Christianity.

699
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: So the reason I say it in that way, will

700
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: going to church help me? No, going to Jesus will

701
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: help you. And going to Jesus and falling madly in

702
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: love with Him as your Lord and savior. If you

703
00:39:55,640 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: do that, you're gonna want to go to church badly.

704
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: Sunday morning's gonna roll around and you're gonna wake up

705
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: and you go church day. I can't wait to get

706
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: with fellow believers to share that, to share in the

707
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 1: same ideas that I have, and then we could wrestle

708
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 1: with the same theological things and we could we could

709
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: pray together for our city and for our town and

710
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: for our families, and I can get just a big

711
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 1: old jump shot into the week. That's what That's where

712
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: you want to be. But you can't do it in reverse.

713
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 1: You can't say I want to I don't really want

714
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: to go to church to get closer to God. I'm

715
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: fine just praying on my own. Yeah, talk to it. Yeah, yeah,

716
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: I mean, I echo what Granger says. It is not

717
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: necessary to know the Lord by going to church. You

718
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: can certainly obviously have an individual walk with the Lord.

719
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 1: And as you said, you experience a closeness to God

720
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 1: on your own. And when you pray by yourself, you

721
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: feel more connected to the Lord than when you pray

722
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: with other people at try. So, yes, it is possible. However,

723
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: God designed this whole thing to be done in community,

724
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: that you were not never meant to be alone as

725
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 1: you walk with Him. It was you think about all

726
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: of the times in the New Testament where He commands

727
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: them to one another, love one another, serve one another.

728
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: You think of the fruits of the spirit. They all

729
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 1: require somebody else. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodnes, faithfulness,

730
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: and gentleness and self control. These are the things that

731
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: we do in the context of a community. We experience

732
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: the fruit of the spirit, and there are gifts of

733
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 1: the Spirit that are given to believers in order to

734
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: serve one another as the whole body. So do you

735
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 1: need the church, Yes, but also no, like you don't

736
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: need the church in order to connect with God. However,

737
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: God has designed you to be a part of the Church,

738
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:59,399
Speaker 1: and so attending service on a Sunday morning is one thing,

739
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: but being a part of a local body is absolutely

740
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: necessary because that's what God intends for you. That you

741
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: won't experience the fullness of what God has for you

742
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: in isolation. It's intended to be experienced in the body

743
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: of Christ, with all members using their gifts to serve

744
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: one another and to draw out a greater understanding of

745
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 1: who He is, and also so a watching world sees

746
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 1: just what he's like. The Church is the bride of Christ.

747
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: To reject the church is to reject the bride of

748
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 1: the Lord. So to speak to that, So, Zach, what

749
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 1: Chad saying is if you said, you say, I like

750
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 1: you Granger, I like you as a human, but I

751
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: just don't like Amber at all. Right, that's what you're saying,

752
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: because if the Church is the bride of Christ, then

753
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: you're saying, I like Granger, but I don't like Amber.

754
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: And you're telling me you hate me in a way

755
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: like you don't really like me. If you don't like

756
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 1: my bride, you don't like my music enough. If you say,

757
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: I just like listening to his music at home, but

758
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 1: I have no desire to see him in concert. Yeah,

759
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: that says more about how much you like my music,

760
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: because if you really loved it, if you really loved

761
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: my music, you'd say, I gotta go see him in

762
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: the concert. I gotta save up my money, I gotta

763
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: get on a plane, I gotta get it in my truck.

764
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 1: I gotta go see him, no matter what it takes.

765
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 1: That's going to show the level of your love for

766
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: my music, the same as it's going to show your

767
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: level of love for God. If you go Sunday's here,

768
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: I gotta find a church. Hey this If this has

769
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: something to do with you not liking your church, there's

770
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: plenty of other ones. Yeah, give me an email. I'll

771
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: help you find one. God. What is your email? You

772
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: can email take and read podcast at gmail dot com

773
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: and I'll respond to you. There's a buddy or a

774
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: pastor friend of mine uses the analogy that you know.

775
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 1: The way that Christians talk about church is interesting in

776
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: that we talk about it as a location or a destination,

777
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 1: something we go to. But if you talk to somebody

778
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: who's been in a gang, they don't talk about gang

779
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: in the same way that we talk about church. They

780
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: don't say, Hey, what'd you think of gang yesterday that

781
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 1: was really fun, or hey are you going to gang tonight?

782
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: Or man, gang really made me feel like, you know, empowered,

783
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: or just man, what a powerful time at gang this morning. No,

784
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 1: we don't. They don't talk. They are the gang, they're

785
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 1: a part of the gang, but they don't go to gang.

786
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: But we talk about going to church because we have

787
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: we fall into this mindset of it's a location that

788
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: I go to, not an identity that we are. We

789
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: are the church where two or more are gathered in

790
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: his name, He is there, so Granger, he's here right

791
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: because two or more are gathered. So what I would say,

792
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: Zach is, don't think of it as going to gang.

793
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 1: Realize that you are a part of the church, and

794
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: so what you experience in your personal time and an isolation, great,

795
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: but that's meant to be shared with other believers. That's

796
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: meant for you to share and pass along with other people.

797
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: And yes, it can happen on a Sunday morning as

798
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 1: everyone gathers at that big building, but that building is

799
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: not the church. You're the church and you're a part

800
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: of it. So you got to be a part of it.

801
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: So good, let's go to let's see that this one

802
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: came in. Oh, we're just going to dive in. It's

803
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: too late. Like once I pull it up and start reading,

804
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 1: it's too late. I can't bail on it. This came

805
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 1: in yesterday. It says, Hey, Grangeer, love your podcast. I'm

806
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 1: an avid listener. To get to my point, my fiance

807
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago decided to tell me that she

808
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: wasn't happy anymore. We have an eighteen month old son together,

809
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 1: and he is my world. I love watching him learn

810
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: and grow every day. But because of the breakup, I

811
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 1: had to move out of the apartment we had together

812
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: and move back into my parents' house. She is my

813
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: favorite person and I loved spending time with her. I

814
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 1: love doing everything with her, from laying around on lazy

815
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: Sunday weekends lazy weekends, to trying new restaurants to go

816
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 1: into the same park we've been to one hundred times.

817
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: I feel lost and broken. I feel empty inside. I

818
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with myself. I have no

819
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 1: want to get up and go to work or do anything.

820
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: The only reason I do so is for my son,

821
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: so that I have the means to take care of him.

822
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do with myself. I've

823
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: lost my person and I don't know how to go on.

824
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: Thanks in advance for your time. I appreciate you taking

825
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: the time to read this and respond. Regards Jay Matthews.

826
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: This is the one that has the phone number on

827
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: oh I should we call him right now? Jay, I'm sorry, buddy,

828
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: great question, and I guess before we dive into it,

829
00:46:54,640 --> 00:47:00,320
Speaker 1: I just want to say I acknowledge your pain and

830
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 1: and the hurt. It's real and and I know this

831
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: is very common in your story. As we've gone through

832
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: this podcast over so many episodes, we've seen this story

833
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: repeat itself. And we'll dig into to what to do

834
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: or what we think you could do going forward, and

835
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 1: we could dig into your feelings. But I just I

836
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: want to say to everyone listening right off the bat,

837
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 1: and this is Jay. This is not brother. Please hear me,

838
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: Please hear me. This is not a knock on you

839
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: or your life or your upbringing. But I want to

840
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 1: say that the reason God commands in the Bible to

841
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: save sex before marriage and to covet relationships in marriage

842
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 1: and not before, and to not live together in that sense,

843
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: all because of all the sexual tension. But and he

844
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: says it, it's not to make our lives bad, or

845
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: to to hurt us, or to make us, you know,

846
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: to make us prudes, or in any way to grade us.

847
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: He does it because he's protecting us from your story

848
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: from unfolding, because he knows. He knows, because because he

849
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: created us in his image, he knows through that creation,

850
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: how we're going to find peace and joy and happiness

851
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 1: and love, and how we're going to prosper. And so

852
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: he builds this this perfect scenario that we could follow

853
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: that if we do, we're gonna we're gonna see the

854
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,240
Speaker 1: fruits of it. And if we don't, we're gonna feel

855
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:39,760
Speaker 1: this pain that you're talking about. That's a real pain.

856
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: And once again, this is not a knock on you.

857
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 1: This is just I want to use this as an

858
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 1: example to everyone listening of the perfect scenario of the

859
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: storm hits at the right time. If you if you

860
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: don't have it ready and lined up biblically, yeah, it's

861
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: the it's the unfortunate and painful fruit of doing things

862
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: our own way and veering from God's perfect design. And

863
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 1: so again, Jay, we're not trying to throw you under

864
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 1: the bus. Here, but your pain is real. And I'm

865
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: sure anyone listening to this is going, man, that that

866
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: sounds terrible. It sounds painful. That's a rough situation for

867
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 1: your son, for you and even your fiance. And and

868
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: you know, I'm grateful to hear you're able to be

869
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,720
Speaker 1: back with your parents, that there's a network of support

870
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,720
Speaker 1: around you. I don't know if you're a praying man

871
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: or not, but I would begin wearing out. I'd have

872
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: callouses on my knees, praying for my fiance, praying for restoration,

873
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: and asking the Lord to do a work in you

874
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: that needs to happen in order for that restoration to occur. Again,

875
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: we've talked about it earlier on this podcast that when

876
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: it comes to relationships, we often just want the other

877
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 1: person to get fixed, but we were not quick to

878
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 1: look at our own situation and find out where we

879
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 1: need to get right and where we need to get

880
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:13,319
Speaker 1: things in order. So again, Jay, challenging and prayer, I

881
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: would say, is a great next step, and continue to

882
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: lean into that network to support your parents, friends, other

883
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: people around you, because there's nothing that hurts like a

884
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: broken heart, and it sounds like that's what you got

885
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: and man, we feel you. That's tough. She might not

886
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: come back. Jay, she might not, and probably the odds

887
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 1: are against her coming back to if she just decides

888
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 1: she's not happy. I'm assuming you guys are pretty young.

889
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: If you're moving back to your parents' house, you have

890
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: an eighteen month old son together, this is your first fiance.

891
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: I'm assuming all this equals you're pretty young. There's good news.

892
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: Jesus came to save sinners. I am one of them,

893
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: Chad is one of them. Neither one of us are

894
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: better than you in any way. We're just we're speaking

895
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 1: from what we've read in the Bible and from quite

896
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: frankly the world that we've lived in for so long now.

897
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: And I could tell you that there is hope for you,

898
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: that there is restoration for you, that there is a

899
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: new relationship in your future, someone that will accept this

900
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 1: son of yours and as adopted son into their life,

901
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: and then you could start over with her, and we

902
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 1: would be praying that that would come from a responsible

903
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 1: relationship that turns into a marriage that's not a drawn out,

904
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: you know, three year engagement or crazy dating cycle that

905
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 1: you go through, but this ends up in a quick marriage.

906
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 1: That's a decision that you have made, that you're going

907
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,879
Speaker 1: to make a commitment to someone, and that you have

908
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: learned from this and been able to take that and

909
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: grow from it. You know that these trials, it's like

910
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: when fire refines silver and gold and it makes it

911
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,919
Speaker 1: more pure and it makes it moldable. But it takes

912
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: that heat. It takes the trial that's suffering the bad

913
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 1: situation to refine the silver and the gold to make

914
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: it more pure and to make it better than it

915
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 1: was before. And right now you're in the fire. It hurts,

916
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: it looks like there's no way out. But the backside

917
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: of this is this refined version of yourself. And so

918
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 1: we hope that you learn from that, that refining, that

919
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 1: you learn and you go, you know what, I'm protecting myself.

920
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm a better person now. I'm refined. I've learned a lot.

921
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 1: I heard Granger and Chat on this podcast, and I'm

922
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 1: not going to put myself in this kind of situation.

923
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to play house with the next girl.

924
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to sit around on lazy weekends and

925
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: go to the park and go to trying new restaurants

926
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: unless this is my wife. Because If I don't, I'm vulnerable.

927
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: My fourth field is down. You know, I'm the death

928
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 1: Star's force field is down, and Luke Skywalker's coming in

929
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: with his missiles, right Like, dude, you got to get

930
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: that force field up. And that is that is with

931
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: a responsible marriage, and this is in your future if

932
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 1: if you believe this. If not, this could be a

933
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 1: pattern where this happens again and God forbid another child

934
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: with another girl that decides she's not happy anymore, and

935
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: it's this never ending cycle. The decision is up to

936
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 1: you right now. Yeah, the assumption right now is that

937
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:37,320
Speaker 1: she's the one, and that's all you can see right now.

938
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: And I think what Granger is doing a great job

939
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: of is helping you see that maybe she's not the

940
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: best pairing for you, Maybe she's not the one, And

941
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: because of the scenario, you're prone to think that, no,

942
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: I've got to make this work. And you're not married yet,

943
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 1: you were engaged, and maybe it's a good thing that

944
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 1: she's separated, and it gives you a chance to kind

945
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 1: of get some things in order and get a perspective

946
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 1: that you need in order to really lean into the

947
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 1: right relationship you need to have with whoever that is

948
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 1: in the future. So I think that's a good word. Granger. Well,

949
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 1: thank you Jay for the email, buddy, and please keep

950
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: us updated on this no matter how long it takes.

951
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear back from you. Golly, these emails, guys,

952
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 1: these emails. I'm gonna We're gonna hit one more. And

953
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: this is the one that popped up. It's it's subject

954
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 1: is married life. Hey, Granger. I've been married for almost

955
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: eight years and my husband. I've been with my husband

956
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 1: for eleven. We have two kids together, and I have

957
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 1: one from my previous relationship. My husband is controlling and

958
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 1: degrading me all all caps all the time. I love him.

959
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: I don't want our marriage to end, but I can't

960
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 1: handle the degrading any longer. What do I do? Thanks

961
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 1: for listening. This is Alisha in Napoleon, Idaho. Excuse me,

962
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 1: I Ohio. I can't read Napoleon, Ohio. So, man, we

963
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: just got some marriage ones to just get. We just get.

964
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 1: Sometimes on these questions, I feel like I'm getting drugg

965
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: behind a pickup truck in the dirt. Literally, you guys,

966
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Alisha married eight years, been with your

967
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 1: husband for eleven, two kids together, and one from a

968
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: previous relationship. So so Jay, you're hearing this, Jay, like

969
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: this is Jay, this is the pattern that it could

970
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 1: turn into, Like there's the there's the kid from the

971
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: previous relationship, and then you jump into another one kind

972
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: of mindlessly. Maybe it's a rebound. Maybe you're just you're

973
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 1: you're at a bar and it's like, well, this is

974
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: the next best option, and I need a I need

975
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 1: a mother for my son, you know, and you jump

976
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: into it, and then fast forward to eight years down

977
00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 1: the road and here you are again with Alisha. I'm

978
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 1: so sorry, Alicia, you have a husband that's degrading and controlling.

979
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 1: We'll call this one the marriage podcast today. Yeah, there's

980
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,720
Speaker 1: a lot of that. And when I've been on here

981
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 1: in the past and we've had questions similar or scenarios,

982
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 1: similar relationship questions that seems to come down a lot

983
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: to communication. Right that there is you're wondering what to do.

984
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 1: You don't want you don't want your marriage to end,

985
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: but you don't want it to stay the way it is,

986
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 1: and so something's got to give. And I don't know

987
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,919
Speaker 1: how you've been trying to communicate this. I'm guessing it's

988
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: not working. If you have. If you haven't, then you

989
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 1: need to explore a way. You know your husband. You've

990
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 1: been with this guy for eleven years. You know him,

991
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 1: you know how he best receives information, you know how

992
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 1: he you know the scenario that's best to approach him

993
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 1: with something that might be challenging and difficult, and you know,

994
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 1: no one likes to hear that you've you've been controlling

995
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 1: or something like that. So you've got to figure out

996
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,479
Speaker 1: what's the best way to approach him. But you've got

997
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 1: to communicate that this is how you feel and that

998
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: neither of you probably enjoy the scenarios where he, you know,

999
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: he's acting like that or treating you like that. No

1000
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 1: one likes that. So you've got to find a way

1001
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 1: to communicate with him about that. And atleasa the way

1002
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 1: to not communicate it is to go to him and say, hey,

1003
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: you control and degrade me. And it's either either you

1004
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 1: got to stop it or this marriage is done, because

1005
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: that's not gonna work. No, it's never gonna work. You

1006
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: have to humble yourself so many times. I mean, we

1007
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 1: have to humble ourselves before God in first in the

1008
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 1: first place, it starts there, and then we also have

1009
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 1: to humble ourselves to other humans around us. We really

1010
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 1: just do. We we have to put the ego aside Alicia,

1011
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: not saying that you have an ego problem at all,

1012
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 1: but you're going to have to really pull back and

1013
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 1: humble yourself to your husband, and then what we hope

1014
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 1: in return is that you'll get that You'll get that

1015
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 1: in return from him. And I'm not talking about ladies.

1016
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about back and down or accepting abuse

1017
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 1: or being submissive in an abusive relationship. Not saying that.

1018
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 1: It's not what I mean by humbling yourself. I just mean, come, come,

1019
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: start the conversation from an equal footing where it's like, Hey,

1020
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 1: I am equally wrong in what's happening. The result of

1021
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 1: this marriage is bad, and I'm coming from an equally

1022
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 1: bad place in my life. It's not all you. In fact,

1023
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say you at all. I would just say

1024
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: I would say I love you. I don't want this

1025
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 1: marriage to end, and I want to do anything I

1026
00:58:55,920 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: can to help fix it and to be a better

1027
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 1: wife to you. How could I be a better wife

1028
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: to you? And maybe you're gonna uncover some stuff that

1029
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 1: you didn't even know was there. Maybe it's this and

1030
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: this and this that you're things that you're doing and

1031
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 1: you didn't know you're doing that's causing this controlling, degrading

1032
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: attitude for him. I can't say enough times that I'm

1033
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: not telling you to submit to abuse at all, just saying,

1034
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: humble yourself in the situation and show him compassion and love,

1035
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 1: because so many times in human relationships that you will

1036
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 1: get that back from him. If you make yourself vulnerable,

1037
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 1: he will let his guard down, his force field, he'll

1038
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 1: let it down, Yeah, and be vulnerable back to you.

1039
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 1: Then you could actually, you guys could have a conversation. Yeah.

1040
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 1: And there's certainly probably a culture in the home that

1041
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: this does for the kids involved. And so no, dad

1042
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 1: wants a culture in his home that is, you know,

1043
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 1: people are despairing or feel oppressed or yeah, I are

1044
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 1: scared of or just don't want to be around, and

1045
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 1: so find find that way as you humble yourself, I

1046
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: think to just explore, you know, what he wants in

1047
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 1: in the nature of your marriage and and what what

1048
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:25,840
Speaker 1: he ultimately envisions for the culture of your home, and

1049
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 1: and see if there are ways that you know you

1050
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 1: could take steps in that. Chad and I will both

1051
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 1: say and we don't have to say it with every question,

1052
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: but I promise you we think it with every question,

1053
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: but we would we would both tell you run to

1054
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 1: your church, Run to the local church, find you a

1055
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: good one, get connected there, and pour out your problems

1056
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 1: to to a small group or two people around you

1057
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: that you could trust and and and let them pour

1058
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 1: into you with with advice, and with with counseling, and

1059
01:00:56,800 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 1: and with with ideas that to your husband in you

1060
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 1: don't have to bring him in the first time. You

1061
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: could just go by yourself. Just show up at the

1062
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 1: doorstep one day. Yeah, just say my name is Alicia,

1063
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: I'm in a bad relationship. I need help. I love

1064
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 1: this man. And bottom line with all this is you

1065
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,560
Speaker 1: can't do it at home by yourself alone. You need

1066
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 1: to need to involve him. You need to involve wise

1067
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: counsel You need to run to the church. Amen. That's

1068
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: all the time we have. We've we've burned through another

1069
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 1: podcast that was fun, that was so fun, That was

1070
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 1: hard stuff. Though I know my heart, man, my heart

1071
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 1: is for you guys, and through these emails and that

1072
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 1: you trust me with your questions. Thank you for that.

1073
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 1: Chad and I both just love you for that. You

1074
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 1: can find more of Chad on the Take and Read

1075
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 1: podcast on any app or YouTube. You could also email

1076
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 1: him at Take and Read Podcast at gmail dot com

1077
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 1: and we'll see you next Monday. Love you guys, Thanks

1078
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. Appreciate all of you. Guys.

1079
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

1080
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that

1081
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you

1082
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have

1083
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,

1084
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi