WEBVTT - Checking In w/ Tim Ross 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.000 Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:20.680 iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Oh lord, I have no 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:24.480 idea how this episode's gonna turn out. I know it's 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.880 gonna turn out great, but I am anticipating the jaw 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:37.920 dropping moment my brother, social media influencer, podcast host, b 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:46.040 side app owner, author, Oh child, he be upsetting the ground, y'all, 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:54.400 y'all better get ready. Tim Ross is in the building, y'all. 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:59.600 I'm excited because we've got somebody who is literally shaking 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:08.840 the okay, upsetting the gram, upsetting the world in a 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:15.000 good way, a curious way. Some people are mad even 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:19.080 though he is not pastoring or ministering in the traditional 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:22.960 way in the pool pit. That's who he is. An 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:29.480 amazing podcast the Basement author. That book is coming out. 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:33.680 It is February twenty seventh. Welcome to the Basement, y'all. 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.120 Y'all recognize his voice already, y'all give it up for 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.839 my friend since twenty seventeen, Tim Ross. 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:45.560 Y'alli, Timmy, I love you, tt. 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:49.480 I love you. I love you. I don't even know 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:53.400 like yes, I have an official rundown and because of 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.600 the time, I'm not gonna get comfortable in common with you. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:01.040 We're gonna be official, we're gonna be professional. But y'all, 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.120 my friend, my brother is here. 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:04.440 Y'all. 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.000 Absolutely, those of us that are close to you, those 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:12.560 of us who just love you, who get a seat 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.560 to see everything that you're doing, We've seen you evolve 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:21.040 and pivot. How are you feeling. Have you been able 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:22.840 to kind of be on the outside and take a 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:25.280 look at what you've been able to do. 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.520 Yeah? I was able to do that last July. So 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:32.760 July twenty twenty three, the seventh month of every year 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.440 is my sabbventh month, so I take the whole month 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:39.320 off and we spent it in Australia, and I just 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:44.600 got to reflect on, like everything that we have done 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:50.440 since July fixed of twenty twenty two. And when I 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:54.760 came back from that trip in August of twenty three, 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:59.320 I literally said to myself, I think I finally figured 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.799 out what the he I'm doing. A lot of times 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:04.280 you step into whatever you feel like God's telling you 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.639 to do, and you step in out of obedience, right like, Okay, 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:10.080 I'm doing what it is that I felt like God's 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:11.920 telling me to do. But you don't know what you're doing, 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:14.600 and don't like you have no idea, like you said 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.720 yes and you started it, but you don't. You have 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:21.000 no idea what you're actually doing, what the impact is. 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:23.840 And so if you would have asked me any time 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.320 before August of twenty twenty three, hey, what are you doing? 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.560 I would have been like a podcast, like you know 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.080 what I mean, Like I'm just doing a podcast. And 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:35.640 after August of twenty three, I really was able to 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:42.560 like process, like, oh, I'm helping people live life in 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:46.880 a completely different way, Like I'm giving people permission that's 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:53.680 to be authentically themselves in their own skin. And I've 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:56.680 and God has allowed me to create this safe space 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.160 where people can give us the gift of their vulnerability, 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:04.320 be seen, heard, known, and still loved, even if they're 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:11.440 not still agreed with. And that's when I knew we 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.240 got something special here. We have something special and sacred here, 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:19.520 and we don't do what everybody else does, like I'm 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.719 not against what everybody else does. I'm not for what 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:24.680 some of the people do, but I'm not against what 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:29.280 nobody else does. But this is sacred and we're gonna 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.719 run this play. This is the play We're gonna run here. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:35.520 Where did the boldness and the audacity come for you 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:38.960 to not be with the normal? You said something so powerful. 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:46.720 I want people to be seen, known, heard, loved, even 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.200 if they're not agreed with. 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:54.039 Absolutely, because we live in a culture where we only 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:59.640 like people who think like us. We only embrace people 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:04.440 who think like us, or believe people or believe like us. Right, 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:09.400 So in my mind, I'm like, listen, what every human 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:14.479 being needs at a basic level is to be seen, heard, known, 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:20.839 and loved, even if they're disagreed with. And so the greatest, 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.120 the most one of the most extravagant gifts you can 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:29.120 give anybody is the gift of your ears. Like, just 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.920 listen to them. Don't cut them off, don't let them 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:37.400 disregulate you, don't let them anger you. You a racist? 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:38.800 Go tell us why? 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.680 Tell us why? And y'all listen. Go to the B side. 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.880 It's Tim Ross's app and you are going to be 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.640 able to listen to the most thought provoking, jaw dropping 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.720 conversations that he is having. That most people who are 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:56.279 born in the church, raising the church still work in 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:00.920 the church. They wouldn't touch certain people with a two 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:06.040 foot poll and have a freaking conversation. Sometimes I think 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.080 we wouldn't have war if we could just have a conversation. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:19.520 All wars start when conversation cease, and all wars stop 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:32.520 when conversations start. Divorces start when conversations stop. Love starts 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:38.880 when conversations start. Hate starts when conversations stop. Everything is 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:41.760 built off a word. What if the first thing that 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:45.080 we know about God Genesis chapter number one, that he spoke. 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:48.880 That's the first thing we know about God that he spoke? 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.479 And when did sin come into the world when people 0:06:53.520 --> 0:07:02.080 stop speaking? Yep? So conversations are literally how God designed 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.440 us to communicate. And whenever there's a breakdown in the conversation, 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:12.400 that's when friction, frustration, anger, hate, bitterness, envy, stripe, jealousy. 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:15.600 Everything comes from the lack of being able to communicate. 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.120 You show me a marriage that's in distress. I'll show 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.760 you people that don't know how to communicate with each other. 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:25.760 You show me a parent and a child relationship and 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:29.360 it's afraid. It's all because they're missing each other in communication. 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.720 So everything rises and falls on communication. 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:36.440 Y'all, we just had a whole master class on communication. 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.880 We can stop. Let's press stop, We're done. Thank y'all 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:45.840 so much for checking in. Is Welcome to the Basement, 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:50.240 Cetuary twenty seven. I pre ordered my copy. Go get yours, Tim, 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.640 We thank you so much for being here. Oh my god. 0:07:54.760 --> 0:08:00.000 Conversation okay, okay, okay, conversations. Do you think have you 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:03.480 I mastered the art of communication or you think it's 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.440 just something. As long as we're living breathing, we will 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.200 always be in school. 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.080 Yeah, as long as we're living in breathing, we'll always 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.160 be in school. I haven't mastered it. I will say 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:20.560 that I have more control over myself when I'm in 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.120 conversations because what I realized is that when it comes 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:29.760 to communication, I am not responsible for how the other 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:37.600 person walks away with my words. I am responsible with 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:41.080 the way I communicate them. So I just try to 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:43.760 stay in control of what I can control. You can 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:47.240 say the nicest thing to somebody, if their heart is 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.959 set on the fence, they're going to be offended. Yeah. 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.440 What I want to be able to do is walk 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:56.680 away saying I thought about the words before I spoke. 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:00.120 I was intentional with my words. I was intense, as 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.120 you know, with the timing, and I was intentional with 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:05.760 my tone. That's the only thing I can respond that 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:06.520 I'm responsible. 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:11.800 Yeah, timing and tone. Tim You have no idea how 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:19.320 many of my friends my dms they be sending me 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:22.160 clips of what you be saying. I'm like, first of all, 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:24.840 I asked my brother, and yes I have. And I'm 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:28.719 so glad you discovered him because I've seen you when 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:31.960 I'm scrolling on Instagram. I've seen you pop up on 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.800 the explorer page and people, some meaning people who aren't 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.880 even following you get to see something you've said, then 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.079 they hit the follow. But I love that when I 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:49.040 see something you post, Like my best friend doctor Amira Ogule, 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:56.040 she'd be liking, I'm like, oh my god, Kelly has 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.800 send me something? Be like did you see this? Already 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.760 saying to sus you know, so, I am just excited 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:09.000 because you just someone who we knew you came out 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:12.120 you were a youth pastor. You just were in so 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:16.720 many ministries, then pastored your own church, and then decided 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:21.240 you want to do something different, meaning you feel like 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:25.800 it's okay to upset people, to break down barriers, and 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.400 you've already just kind of answered the first question I 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:31.720 had about how do you do that without offending someone 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:37.000 to the point where they don't listen. And the reason 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:38.679 why I went to what you're saying because a lot 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:44.680 of people send me clips of you talking about relationships. Yeah, 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:48.240 one of the coolest people who loves God, loves the 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:52.480 Lord Jesus Christ knows that Bible. But you know how 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:56.920 to relate to the person who don't know anything, and 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:04.560 you hit the heart. You've helped restore relationships. So the 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:07.520 first question is we were kind of already going somewhere. 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.600 You were saying about the intention of your tone and 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:15.320 timing that may help somebody listen to you. How did 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:19.000 you how did you do that? Growing up? 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.920 Yeah, so I'm the middle child. I'm kind of a 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.240 middle firstborn. My older brother's ten years older than me, 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.480 then it's me, and then my younger brother is seventeen 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:31.120 years seventeen months younger than me. And so when you're 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:35.839 the middle child, you become the mediator, right, You're the arbitrator, 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:40.880 the mediator of the family. And so I'm translating what 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.840 my older brother's saying as to how it impacts me, 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:47.520 and then I'm translating from my younger brother to my parents, 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:52.080 and so communication was just always something that I that 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.720 I really paid attention to. I started rapping when I 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.560 was nine. I started battle rapping when I was thirteen. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.200 Word I fell in love with words. I fell in 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.880 love with rhyme schemes. I fell in love with the 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.840 meaning of words. I'm a literalist, right, so when I 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.199 use a word, I try to use the word literally. 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.520 And so because words have power, and so when I'm 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:18.960 when I'm sitting with somebody and I'm talking with them, 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:23.720 I'm trying to use words that will unlock them. I'm 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.040 not trying to use words that will lock them up. 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.320 And So what I realized is in the space that 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:32.480 I'm in now, like with the podcast and all that, 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:36.920 is that when I when I communicate, I'm communicating to 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.520 a certain group of people. I loved my season in 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.640 ministry preaching all that kind of stuff, but I realized 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.720 that when I became a podcaster, I felt like in 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.920 order for me to reach who I felt like my 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:55.000 targeted audience, is that I had to stop code switching. 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.040 Oh Like, I could not code switch if I was 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:01.040 going to reach who I was supposed to reach. And 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.360 so a big part of the impact that I've had 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.000 both positive and negative. Is actually around the fact that 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:08.920 I don't code switch. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:14.640 So good again. But that's why you're able to reach 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:21.160 who you are reaching the old, correct, the middle, the young, 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:26.200 the preached, the unpreached. So many clips have gone viral 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.959 to the point people are excited, then you get people 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:32.640 who are mad and offended. Who do you pay attention 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:33.280 to the most? 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:40.840 I pay attention to my wife, my best friends, you, 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.360 the people that are in my that are in my 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:48.400 inner circle, Like if you ever sent me a voice 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.480 not to call FaceTime text and was like, hey, I 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.480 saw a clip. I felt like it was out of pocket. 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:57.120 I take it down in a heartbeat. But I don't 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.320 read my comments section, so I don't know what they say. 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.360 Ah, so good, so good. 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.600 I meant what I said when I said it, and 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.920 only those that are in my circle get to tell 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.360 me if it was bad. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:16.200 Yeah, And if you know Tim Ross, I promise you 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.720 you will learn. He said what he said. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.600 I promise you. I did. I promise you I did 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:24.600 and did not stutter. 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:29.440 You know what, I don't know if I ever see 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:30.040 you stutter. 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.440 I don't study my older brother. My older brother stuttered, 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:38.000 my younger brother stuttered, and my daddy stuttered, and like, 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:42.120 for real, that's another reason, you know what tt I've 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.640 never even made this connection into until right now. I 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:50.280 Oh my god, I'm so glad I'm talking to you 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.200 right now. I've never made this connection unto right this minute. 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:55.760 I think another reason this would have been at a 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.640 subconscious level. But this is a discovery that I've never 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.360 had over the years. Because my father stuttered, because my 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.160 older brother stuttered, and because my younger brother stuttered, it 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:10.000 was very important to me to be patient as a listener, 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.040 like I'm about to cry, yo, Like I didn't even 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:16.960 think about this, like for real, like like I never 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:20.080 wanted my dad, my older brother, my younger brother to 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:23.120 look at my face and it looked like like hurry up, 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.440 like say what you're trying to say, or to cut 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.000 them off. And I think that's why I became a 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:33.880 good listener. It is because the three minim of my 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:38.600 life they stuttered, and so I wanted them to know 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.520 I'm patient with you, like get it out, like I'm 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.280 not trying to rush you, like like say what you 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:50.120 got to say and get it out, and then like 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.560 I'm here, like I'm locked in I'm like, I'm focused 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:55.280 on you, I hear you, and then I wanted to 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:58.080 make sure I was clear of my communication back, but 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.520 that I wind up speaking on behalf for them a 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:06.880 lot because of their stuttering. And so I think, now, dang, 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.200 I've never even thought about this. I think now, in 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:14.040 this season in my life, I'm speaking for a lot 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:19.359 of emotional stutterers. I'm speaking for a lot of relational stutterers. 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:24.640 Come on, I am speaking for a lot of religious stutterers. 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:28.320 And I think that's why the clips go viral. TT 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.760 is because they're like, this is what I've been trying 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:35.880 to say. You give language, he said, yeah, Yeah, it's 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.240 not just I said what I said. They're like, he 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.760 just said what I said, or he just said what 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:41.440 I'm thinking. 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:48.160 Oh oh, so meaning you can only give language if 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:53.200 you listen. It's like a therapist, you Timros being the therapist, 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.840 a therapist who has been able to give me language 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.440 to stuff that I didn't know. Oh, this is why 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:03.000 I respond this way. Oh, this is why I'm triggered 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:08.280 when I feel this PTSD. This is why i'm single. 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:16.040 Oh you gave me language because you listen, Because you listen, 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:21.560 communicating the foundation got to be if you listen to 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.560 what the other person say, you might not even need 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:24.200 a rebuttal. 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:30.199 That's exactly right, that's exactly right there. I have some 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.600 friends in Atlanta that set up what they called a 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.000 debate with a young lady who has a very very 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:40.040 different approach to relationships and men and all this kind 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.679 of stuff. And they wanted it to be a debate, 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:46.160 and it wasn't because I let her finish her sentence. 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:51.159 I saw it just listening, and you can understand so 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:55.879 much more when absolutely you let a person process. I 0:17:55.920 --> 0:18:00.000 believe some healing took place in that person. By the way, 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:02.160 that's just me a scene. 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:07.240 But I do believe my God today. 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.520 Okay, y'all, Oh, y'all have never heard that side of me. 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:19.000 I do bring it out, y'all. 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:24.200 I promise you, I promise you. This is why Tim 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:28.480 Ross is needed in the earth. This is why you pivot. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.199 This is why you just say you could have just 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.960 been comfortable in the church that you had. 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.000 Mm hmm. I love that church. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:41.959 You know that at least minimum few hundred that's your audience. 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:43.960 That's who you're gonna listen to. The people that are 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:49.680 streaming you have a built an audience. You decided because 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.400 now we're going to transition into the people who you're 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:56.000 known for one thing, but now you have to start 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:57.680 from the bottom. Now you're here. 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:01.240 Yep. In another way, yeah, absolutely. 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:06.160 If you go to Tim Ross's Instagram page, upset the graund, 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.320 they posted me and Tim's conversation. 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were. 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:14.040 Talking about transition and the reason why some people are 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.560 afraid to transition is because of fear. It is lack 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:22.720 of faith. Yep, how did you just say okay, y'all, 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:26.600 I'm out, pop. Yeah, you transitioned it. You transitioned that. 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:30.240 You transition You handed the church over very well. It 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:32.639 took you. You did it very well over time. You 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.359 just didn't wake up and say I'm done. But again, 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.680 it's to the person listening. They're known for one thing, 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:43.040 they're a teacher, they're a chef, but they feel like 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:47.240 I'm supposed to do something else. Now where do you start? 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.119 You start with understanding that who you are is not 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:54.200 what you do, and that you should you should never 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:57.440 fall more in love with what you do than who 0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:02.679 you are. And so I think the reason why I 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:06.000 can be a podcaster right now and feel just as 0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:08.879 good in this season as being a pastor in the 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:12.280 last season. Is because I never made my title my idol. 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:13.720 Bars. 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:17.159 Yeah, my title has never been my idol. And so 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.840 I believe that my name Timothy, which is one of 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:25.879 the few Greek names that has a reciprocal meaning, it 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:30.760 means honoring God and it means honored by God. I 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:35.359 believe that that my name is how I'm supposed to 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:37.840 move around the earth, not my title. 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:39.040 That's good. 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:42.879 And so I could do this podcast for another three, four, five, seven, 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:45.480 eight years whatever he wants me to do. And then 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:47.680 if he wants me to be a regional manager at 0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:51.560 AT and T, I'll probably cry a little bit. And 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:53.560 then I'm gonna go run that AT and T store. 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:55.359 You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm gonna go handle 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:57.879 I'm gonna go handle the DFW market, you know what 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:00.560 I mean. I'm gonna sell more phones than anybody, you know, 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:07.600 so upgrade exactly exactly I'm giving. I'm giving everybody special. 0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:12.280 So I just feel like the seasons that we're in 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:15.919 we're meant to learn something and we're meant to contribute something. 0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:20.280 And so I learned a lot in ministry almost thirty 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:24.119 years as a preacher. As a teacher, but I'm telling 0:21:24.119 --> 0:21:28.120 you podcasting now, you couldn't pay me to go back 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:32.600 to being a pastor. What I'll miss it at all? 0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:35.000 Wait a minute, what. 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:38.560 You couldn't pay me to go back? 0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:42.680 Listen? He has been married to somebody super sweet, gifted, 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:50.119 creative Juliet since nineteen ninety one, right, nineteen, yeah, nineteen 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:56.159 ninety nine, yeah, twenty five years, two sons. Okay, okay again. 0:21:56.480 --> 0:22:00.239 So now you've got family, you got a wife. We're 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:03.840 gonna speak to somebody who's like, wait a minute, that baby, Now, 0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:08.600 what you're doing pays the bills? You sure God told 0:22:08.640 --> 0:22:10.439 you to do something else? 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:11.680 Yep? 0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:14.640 Is it because you built up trust over the years 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:19.639 in the relationship or some women be like, I'm not 0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:23.680 gonna fo following the husband? Will you talk a lot 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:28.680 about relationships? Submission? Why she won't submit? 0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:30.920 Yeah? Absolutely? Yeah. 0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:33.720 He even talked about one day, I'm whispering. He even 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.159 talked about how she might have to put up with 0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:43.359 something that's not quite an adam comically please see in 0:22:43.560 --> 0:22:44.320 her side? 0:22:44.600 --> 0:22:50.879 Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yes I did talk about that, and 0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:52.080 so many men got mad. 0:22:53.000 --> 0:22:53.720 But why for. 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:59.880 Well, let me. Let me just take a detour right there, 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:04.159 just to say that I really have grown tired of 0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:09.320 men bodies shaming their wives when they the majority of them, 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:14.480 have nothing that they contributed to, even aspiring their wife 0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:18.560 to be fit or whatever. This dude got a gut 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:23.159 and a four inch pen that he can't change, Like, 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:25.920 he can't grow it, he can't make it do anything 0:23:25.960 --> 0:23:29.280 more than what it already is. She could lose fifty 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:34.080 pounds if she wanted to, or she could put on makeup, 0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:36.840 or she could get hair extended. There's a lot of 0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:39.080 stuff a woman can do. It can, but you can't 0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:42.560 grow your pin. So if she's like settled on four 0:23:42.600 --> 0:23:46.720 inches but she dated seven and a half with a 0:23:46.760 --> 0:23:51.119 hook in college, what are you gonna do? Like, what 0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:54.000 can you say? And if she did say something about 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.520 the man, he would never recover. Most men's egos are 0:23:57.560 --> 0:23:59.640 so fragile that if a woman kept it a buck 0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:03.040 with the husband the way the husband is always talking 0:24:03.080 --> 0:24:06.520 about the wife, they would never recover. They would just 0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:08.760 feel devastated and have low self esteem for the rest 0:24:08.760 --> 0:24:10.359 of their life. And so I was just trying to 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:13.760 bring some equality to the conversation and remind these men 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:17.080 like bro, that woman is being very gracious to you. 0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:24.280 If she did lose fifty pounds and go do squats 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:28.000 in the gym, her options would increase drastically, and you 0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:31.479 would still have male pattern baldness, like you would still 0:24:32.040 --> 0:24:35.800 not be able to have an edge up without getting plugs. 0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:38.760 He's not trying to read the room, y'all. He not 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:40.399 trying to read you your rights. He's not trying to 0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:43.280 read you at all. It's fat, y'all. I don't even 0:24:43.320 --> 0:24:47.240 know how we got here, but we did, y'all. I 0:24:47.359 --> 0:24:50.480 have stuff so much paper towels in my mom because 0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:54.480 I just don't know what to do or say. I 0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:59.920 just don't know, my God. But these are the kinds 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:04.200 conversations that my friend has been having that has been 0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:10.000 blowing up. Meaning there are people in marriages who say, 0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:12.480 I can wreck your whole life right now. But because 0:25:12.520 --> 0:25:15.359 I got fruit of the spirit, I'm gonna use wisdom. 0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:22.200 Timing and tone, Yep. I want to talk a little 0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:27.320 bit on this relationship thing. Timing and tone. Should somebody 0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:30.080 bring that up, how would a woman bring that up? 0:25:30.520 --> 0:25:32.439 How would you like to be on the receiving end 0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:33.280 of that conversation? 0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:36.199 If I was on the receiving end of the conversation, 0:25:36.520 --> 0:25:39.960 I would want my wife to be very graceful. I'm 0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:42.560 a church guy, so let me use it a scripture 0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:45.040 real quick, just to contextualize what I'm about to say. 0:25:45.480 --> 0:25:49.720 Jesus came full of grace and truth. Now, what I 0:25:49.760 --> 0:25:52.320 know as a believer in Jesus is that Jesus is 0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:55.720 actually the truth. So he's not a truth, he's not 0:25:55.840 --> 0:25:59.119