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Speaker 1: L K, S P A C E. Thinking. Well, hey there,
Speaker 1: and welcome again to another episode of thinking Sideways. I
Speaker 1: am Steve as usual, joined by Oh, I think that's
Speaker 1: the first time that is stumping on somebody's toes and
Speaker 1: I don't know who it is. Well, what happened is
Speaker 1: Steve usually or any of us will look at whoever
Speaker 1: we want to call out. Second, and he shifted his
Speaker 1: eyes to me and then quickly to Devon, no, I
Speaker 1: looked at the gun on the wall. He was looking
Speaker 1: at you, but pointing at me. It was just yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so let's do this again for the world. I am Steve.
Speaker 1: I am joined by Joe and Devin. There we go.
Speaker 1: The confusion was I looked upwards and not at one
Speaker 1: would think we haven't been doing this for five years.
Speaker 1: Act has never happened. It has, but I think we
Speaker 1: cut it out. Okay, Well, listen, hey, we're as always
Speaker 1: going to talk about a mystery this week, but this
Speaker 1: week it is extra extra special because we are gonna
Speaker 1: talk about everyone's favorite cryptid. So, as always, this is
Speaker 1: a listener suggestion, but the CHUPI has been suggested by
Speaker 1: each and every one of you at some point. So
Speaker 1: just imagine I'm saying your name right now. Yeah, here
Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, that was your name right there in
Speaker 1: the blank spot. Yea, and our heart was saying your
Speaker 1: name and um, now hey before Normally what we do
Speaker 1: is we jump right into the story, but we're not
Speaker 1: going to do that because listen, there is some important
Speaker 1: information that we want to share with you news about
Speaker 1: the show, but we're going to save that to the
Speaker 1: very very end. And for those of you who are
Speaker 1: chronic fast forwarders, once the theory section is closed, don't
Speaker 1: do that. Listen. We've been shaming for years for doing that,
Speaker 1: but stop doing that, but today especially, don't do it. Yeah, don't. Okay.
Speaker 1: So that having been the covered, shame dolled out appropriately,
Speaker 1: let's talk about our dear friend Choopy. By the way,
Speaker 1: did did I forget to mention this is our five
Speaker 1: year anniversary? Did it? Is? I did forget? Because forget
Speaker 1: it's our anniversary. We forgot the anniversary here in the doghouse.
Speaker 1: Mr Well, I forget to mention it, not that I
Speaker 1: forgot it? What about this, Joe? Stop it? Okay, So
Speaker 1: let's talk about our dear dear friend, the choopy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the start of the beginning. The Chupacabra is a
Speaker 1: cryptid that was originally and by that I mean originally
Speaker 1: cited in the late seventies or early eighties in that
Speaker 1: region of north to central I guess, to the north
Speaker 1: to Sound in America, which ranges from Texas down to
Speaker 1: um to Mexico. So those are the would be North America.
Speaker 1: Is it still technically North America not Central America? No, no,
Speaker 1: Texas is not Centralphy has never been my my strong
Speaker 1: suits coologize. Okay, Well, the point is is that our
Speaker 1: little buddy was sited in that region, and at the
Speaker 1: same time, this little cryptid had also been sited on
Speaker 1: the island of Puerto Rico's not so little in some settings.
Speaker 1: We'll get there, we'll get there. Don't jump ahead for
Speaker 1: those of those you who don't know though, Puerto Rico
Speaker 1: if you're not up on your nation's in geography and
Speaker 1: all good, good information. State in Mexico right now. It's
Speaker 1: part of America. Is important. It's technically part of the
Speaker 1: United States. It's one of the many Caribbean islands run
Speaker 1: kind of southeast from the tip of Florida towards southeast
Speaker 1: towards south of Erica. Now today, officially, as we're recording this, officially,
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico is an unincorporated U. S territory, and that
Speaker 1: information that that status will play into the story later.
Speaker 1: But I will say that I just heard something that
Speaker 1: in there's another vote on the books to make Puerto
Speaker 1: Rico the fifty first state. So maybe that will alleviate
Speaker 1: some of the tension that we're going to talk about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't, but as of today, don't don't send us
Speaker 1: an email. In a year and a half, there's a
Speaker 1: state you do do do fiz is No, we don't
Speaker 1: know that yet. Okay. So during the seventies and the
Speaker 1: eighties when the initial Chuby sidings happened to be went
Speaker 1: by the name of l Vampiro de Moca, which is
Speaker 1: the vampire of Mocha, and Mocha is a small town
Speaker 1: in Puerto Rico, yep. Also a delicious drink you can
Speaker 1: occasionally be. Yes, I haven't known to consume one of
Speaker 1: those spelled differently, but yeah, there's the is also that.
Speaker 1: And while Chupy hadn't been cited, his handiwork, of course
Speaker 1: had and that handiwork was livestock like sheep or goats
Speaker 1: or chickens or family pets had all been found dead
Speaker 1: and most notably drained of their blood. And I'll be
Speaker 1: honest at this point that I don't know if in
Speaker 1: the seventies and the eighties the signature mark of the
Speaker 1: Chupa cabra was present or not. But that signature mark
Speaker 1: is a three whole, a triangular shaped set of holes
Speaker 1: in the neck of the animal with the point of
Speaker 1: the triangle pointing down. So each of those, what's the
Speaker 1: the three points? Imagine? Do you imagine that the apex
Speaker 1: is by the way, but a creater with like two
Speaker 1: fangs on the top and just one thang in the
Speaker 1: middle of something like that. That's kind of scary. How
Speaker 1: that noise? Yeah, I thought that was that's the noise. Actually,
Speaker 1: that is way better than the noise that I heard
Speaker 1: on the internet for the Chupacabra. It was terrible. We'll
Speaker 1: we'll get George put in place. So the Chupacabra, though,
Speaker 1: did not become a household name until he was on
Speaker 1: the TV reality show road Rules in I thought, I
Speaker 1: thought back further than that. Well, actually, okay, so a
Speaker 1: Choopy wasn't on road Rules on MTV the first year
Speaker 1: it came out, but Choopy did go back farther, but
Speaker 1: Chuopy did become a household name in And that is
Speaker 1: the year that more and more people started to see
Speaker 1: and learn about a little Crypti Bud. The official and
Speaker 1: I'm going to use air quotes here, the official original
Speaker 1: sighting unquote took place in in Puerto Rico, and it
Speaker 1: was when a woman named Madeleine Tolentino saw this strange
Speaker 1: creature outside of her home run one night, and she
Speaker 1: started telling everybody about it. So what did the critter
Speaker 1: that she saw look like? Of course? Yeah, yeah, but well, okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm going to tell you what she said she saw,
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to have to tell you all
Speaker 1: the other versions of what the chupa cabra looks like.
Speaker 1: Because the chupacabra has evolved over time, as all creatures do,
Speaker 1: it's just in a very short amount of time. Unlike antrobiology,
Speaker 1: the sightings are after dark, after all, that woul account
Speaker 1: for some of this probably, yeah, and and and to
Speaker 1: be fair here, um, you know, we're talking about official
Speaker 1: sightings named the chupacabra or it's known predecessor, the Vampire
Speaker 1: of Mocha. But realistically, there have been reports of cryptids
Speaker 1: that are like this dating back millennia basically, right, I
Speaker 1: mean there are there's been tribal stories and things like
Speaker 1: that about the creatures. Nowhere they're nowhere near is concrete, right,
Speaker 1: That's and that's why I say the kind of a genus.
Speaker 1: It's kind of unique in that there's there's stories going
Speaker 1: back of animals being drained of blood. But there's no consistency.
Speaker 1: This is where suddenly a consistency of loosely granted, but
Speaker 1: a loose consistency of what the creater looks like it
Speaker 1: starts to happen. I just want to make sure that
Speaker 1: people know it wasn't like chupacabra sprung fully formed. I agree,
Speaker 1: but there in the American history Western sphere history true. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: So what what Madeline's siding said the creature looked like
Speaker 1: was that the creature was several feet tall, had large
Speaker 1: eyes and spikes or spines depending on the version, running
Speaker 1: down the length of its back. And so basically what
Speaker 1: she described was a large upright lizards slash bug eyed
Speaker 1: alien creature. The arms that they were longish, know, more
Speaker 1: than you would expect on a normal proportioned creature of
Speaker 1: this plan it, and the arms ended in hands that
Speaker 1: had large sharp claws on them. Okay, So that's that's
Speaker 1: the general gist of her description, and that took off
Speaker 1: like wildfire, and suddenly more and more and more people
Speaker 1: around Puerto Rico began to say that they had seen this,
Speaker 1: and suddenly choopy fever was everywhere. Did did they say
Speaker 1: anything about the eyes are in the beginning they were
Speaker 1: big eyes, but nothing about the color initially. The color
Speaker 1: seems to come in later and later. But but basically
Speaker 1: what happens is that she tells the story, it gets
Speaker 1: on the news, and choopy fever takes off. So take that, John,
Speaker 1: Paul Ringo and George, you guys suck the picture by
Speaker 1: the end anyway, true, true, But this this creature has
Speaker 1: no fur, are very little for on its body. And yeah,
Speaker 1: well then the scaling scene is kind of gray maybe green,
Speaker 1: which is very weird, and that makes sense for that area, well,
Speaker 1: it kind of does. But and the other thing is
Speaker 1: that it doesn't have Okay, so the hands, the description
Speaker 1: of the hands morph. They go from what we would
Speaker 1: consider a normal hand with five fingers to a hand
Speaker 1: that is yeah, mad graining style hand where it's only
Speaker 1: got three fingers total including the thumb. Graining has three
Speaker 1: fingers plus. That's fair, that's fair. Okay, So it's no no, okay,
Speaker 1: So if we're gonna say it's got a thumb, it's
Speaker 1: got two fingers and a thumb, okay, with dinosaur the
Speaker 1: hind of dinosaur esque, that's not we're there yet, not
Speaker 1: there yet back all right, so that is what Magdalene's
Speaker 1: initial version sort of evolved too. But from there the
Speaker 1: chiope of cobra changed form and he began to evolve
Speaker 1: in more and more descriptions. The chupacabra became a strange
Speaker 1: kind of upright lizard creature that then became some sort
Speaker 1: of naked or bald kangaroo like creature like the big
Speaker 1: giant hoppy legs, but at the same time had wings
Speaker 1: like weirdly little or medium sized, leathery bat style wing
Speaker 1: where they you know, flight and docing or really too
Speaker 1: little for flight. They appeared to be flight inducing or
Speaker 1: at least gliding wings because somebody reported that the chupacabra
Speaker 1: flew out of the trees and attacked them as they
Speaker 1: were running away, kind of like Ingrid. What's that guy
Speaker 1: from years ago, the story we did Ingrid Cold? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: something like that. But yeah, I mean it could kind
Speaker 1: of gliding wings. Maybe you can't actually fly, but he
Speaker 1: can glide, right, So flying squirrel doesn't actually fly and glide,
Speaker 1: so it's the same theory as it's kind of a
Speaker 1: gliding chupicabra, right, okay later, sorry, And wings that are
Speaker 1: separate from arms, right, correct, correct the yes. From there,
Speaker 1: the creature would move moreph again into something that is
Speaker 1: more of a dog like form. And sometimes this dog
Speaker 1: would stand on two legs. Sometimes it would stand on four.
Speaker 1: When it was on four, it could be standing up
Speaker 1: to four ft high. You know, a four ft tall
Speaker 1: dog is a big dog. Yeah. And now if it's
Speaker 1: a dog standing up on its hind legs and it's
Speaker 1: four ft high, well that's your average you know, chihuahua
Speaker 1: on steroids, so that's not so big. But still yeah,
Speaker 1: I know I'm joking. Don't give me that look, but
Speaker 1: it's it's it's still a big critter if it's upright,
Speaker 1: Because not a lot of dog shaped animals, well not
Speaker 1: a whole lot of animals in this world are bipedal,
Speaker 1: So you can see why this story is kind of
Speaker 1: really gets people going. But that's not the only version.
Speaker 1: There is yet another version of the chooper crop. But
Speaker 1: that says it is more monkey like and it has
Speaker 1: a lot of hair, or at least it has a
Speaker 1: lot of hair on its arms, So that might account
Speaker 1: for more of the flying out of the trees on
Speaker 1: somebody like, less flying and more jumping to land on
Speaker 1: a person because it just flings behind them and looks
Speaker 1: like yeah. Well and listen, monkeys are known to jump
Speaker 1: out of trees onto people or things. If they don't
Speaker 1: like you, they will jump on you and slap you,
Speaker 1: or if they like you, they'll jump on you and
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah. It's kind of a weird, like confused
Speaker 1: with the message. Yeah, I'm just saying I don't know
Speaker 1: which is better, but well, it depends on your your
Speaker 1: perspective on monkeys. I'm not sure I want to be
Speaker 1: loved by monkey, but anyway, that's okay, okay. Uh, there's
Speaker 1: the matter of the chipper coppers tail. Sometimes that tail
Speaker 1: is short, sometimes that tail doesn't exist at all, and
Speaker 1: sometimes that tail is kind of long and spike. So
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty clear from the evidence that is a
Speaker 1: shape shifter to a degree I'm not going to disagree with. Actually,
Speaker 1: I would say so that's that could be one of
Speaker 1: the reasons that and maybe I should be talking about
Speaker 1: this could be one of the reasons that we haven't
Speaker 1: proven its existence yet. Uh, you know, and you might
Speaker 1: want to hang onto that that's actually not in the
Speaker 1: right up section for the theories, but we can hang
Speaker 1: onto that for theories if you want. Okay, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: I promised to try. Let's see what else have we
Speaker 1: got in commonality. Oh well, this is what Devon brought
Speaker 1: up earlier, the eyes of the chip of Cabra. So
Speaker 1: in the beginning they were large eyes, but now more
Speaker 1: and more often they are large red almost kind of
Speaker 1: red glowing eyes. Have you ever seen those photos of
Speaker 1: like big cats at night when somebody sharing the spotlight
Speaker 1: on them and their eyes suddenly light up in that
Speaker 1: mirror red creepy way. Yeah, well, yes they do. But
Speaker 1: what I don't know is if it's that kind of
Speaker 1: light up or if it's the space alien giant you know,
Speaker 1: like hands size, massive eyeball and a reflection it actually
Speaker 1: does go out correct? Correct? Does this alien have LEDs
Speaker 1: in its head? Or is it just the ambient light reflecting?
Speaker 1: I don't know which one it is, uh now. I So,
Speaker 1: by the way, this is one thing that I really
Speaker 1: so when I was looking at all of the description
Speaker 1: of the chupy it got very very confusing. One of
Speaker 1: the things that I really really liked was if you
Speaker 1: go out to the crypti wiki and you search the
Speaker 1: Choopa Cabra there's a series of illustrations, all kind of
Speaker 1: side by side, and while they're conceptual drawings, they really
Speaker 1: kind of help put into perspective of the difference between
Speaker 1: one to the next. So if you want to see that,
Speaker 1: I'd recommend going to the Crypti wiki and checking that
Speaker 1: out because that help out a lot. I've always actually
Speaker 1: kind of had, among other ages, a Scupi in my head.
Speaker 1: I've always kind of pictured him as like being dressed
Speaker 1: in a trench cut with a wide rim fedora soho
Speaker 1: al capone, al capone more, just like like a film
Speaker 1: noir guy, kind of film noir kind of spike, kind
Speaker 1: of like you know, James Jesus Angleton. Yeah, I'd never
Speaker 1: really thought of Chupy in that way. Yeah, that's not
Speaker 1: how I think of him either. Do you think about
Speaker 1: in Devon so we're talking about descriptions, Yeah, I think more.
Speaker 1: I think like a kind of version of a Scaly
Speaker 1: slash Harry kind of thing. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I like the original description of you know, scaly with
Speaker 1: the spikes, but I also for some reason think of
Speaker 1: him as like cuddly and furry. I don't have a
Speaker 1: good time reconciling I kind of am in this this
Speaker 1: shape shifter camp. My favorite, my favorite description or my
Speaker 1: favorite visual of the chupy is the one that we
Speaker 1: put on the Nightlight years ago. Yeah, hamster with the
Speaker 1: the scary claws and the knife and the wings, like,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite description. But of course that's because that's
Speaker 1: the way I see it, and so I was able
Speaker 1: to visualize it. Ye. Well, let's get there's still by
Speaker 1: the way. Don't forget though, We've still got more description
Speaker 1: stuff to talk about here. Okay, so you remember we
Speaker 1: talked about the hands went from five finger to less
Speaker 1: graining and more three fingers style. Well, depending on your
Speaker 1: opinion of thumbs, yes, digits perfect. Well, those digits seem
Speaker 1: to be to blame for the next the holes that
Speaker 1: are found in the necks of choppy praying instead of teeth. Yes,
Speaker 1: yeah to a degree. Yeah, like that seems to be
Speaker 1: you know, have you ever okay, so, have you ever
Speaker 1: gone to get a to go drink and the lid
Speaker 1: has a little plastic bit but you've got to actually
Speaker 1: put your finger in it to open it like a
Speaker 1: coffee like it took coffee that kind of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you scream and shout about how much we'll
Speaker 1: think about what Choppy has to do. He's got to
Speaker 1: do the same thing to the neck of a critter
Speaker 1: to get his meal. So he's always angry at them
Speaker 1: because it's it burns him and they're biting at you know.
Speaker 1: That's why they give you straws. You're not supposed to
Speaker 1: use your finger, use a straw or like in this stage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, so he used the coffees to her or something.
Speaker 1: Go on, do you like a human listen? I've been
Speaker 1: relying on you people to help me consume food like
Speaker 1: a normal human being. Crawls that you use a tool.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, So that aside. The real thing is that
Speaker 1: the story appears to be that maybe Chupy is holding
Speaker 1: his fingers and he is jabbing into the neck of
Speaker 1: it and then and then immediately going to it and
Speaker 1: sucking all of the fluid out of creature, which at
Speaker 1: a substantial amount of which is very vampiric. Is there
Speaker 1: blood dribbles to suggest that well there's blood? I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, is there're enough that it would
Speaker 1: be like poke? I guess I gotta put my mouth
Speaker 1: on it now. Yeah, I don't think that he's trying
Speaker 1: to be the little Dutch boy and stem the flow.
Speaker 1: I think he might be trying to be the exact
Speaker 1: opposite and increase the flow with pressure, that kind of pressure. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he might even actually grabbing his pot in his paws
Speaker 1: and give him a good squeeze. He's giving them a hug.
Speaker 1: He's giving them a hug in their final moments to
Speaker 1: make them comfy. Does anybody believe that? Okay, okay, let's
Speaker 1: move forward. Then, so we've already established why there might
Speaker 1: be this vampiric element because of the stabbing and then
Speaker 1: the lack of blood. What I find really really funny
Speaker 1: about the name choo Pacabra, of course, is that when
Speaker 1: you translate that to Spanish, because that's where it came from,
Speaker 1: it directly translates to goats sucker, as in the sucker
Speaker 1: of blood of goats. But what I really love is
Speaker 1: that goats are I mean, that infers that all the
Speaker 1: chacabra is after his goats, but it's farm animals like
Speaker 1: sheep and chicken or dogs or all these others are
Speaker 1: also seemed to be prey. So it's a bit of
Speaker 1: a mishnoms no no, it's it's not at all. Unusually
Speaker 1: the animal came them for somebody to have a preferred
Speaker 1: for food group. But at the same time, you know,
Speaker 1: when goats aren't available, you gotta you gotta do something.
Speaker 1: You got to eat. I mean, you know, Chap the
Speaker 1: dog or whatever. Yeah. One thing to bear in mind
Speaker 1: is that in Choopy's natural hunting ground usually wild goats,
Speaker 1: but once it becomes urbanized or taken over by farms,
Speaker 1: it's replaced by farm animals, and so he is left
Speaker 1: to hunt whatever he can. Are you thinking that Choppy
Speaker 1: is in an area where fainting goats are natural? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why. No, I mean no, I'm sorry. I was
Speaker 1: being kind of smart smart ass there, but no, you can.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, there were wild goats everywhere, and
Speaker 1: then people came over and you know, started at agriculture
Speaker 1: in that area, and suddenly you gotta hunt other things.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, But luckily, luckily, I guess you never
Speaker 1: started hunting human beings, thankfully. And there are just to
Speaker 1: set the record straight, there are no accounts anywhere of
Speaker 1: a chupa cabra actually attacking, not like these people who
Speaker 1: were chupy jumped on them. That should be appears to
Speaker 1: have jumped on them and that was it. No actual attacks,
Speaker 1: inflicting damage or attempting to feed on a human. So
Speaker 1: apparently the long pig is not on the menu for
Speaker 1: the cabra. Well that's because the vampires get the credit
Speaker 1: at that point. They've got like sort of like not
Speaker 1: symbiotic relationship, not not symbiotic, but they just have sort
Speaker 1: of they just they have their own territories. They don't
Speaker 1: they don't intrude, you know, I mean, or they have
Speaker 1: their own prey. Yeah, thanks, Yeah, all right, well let's
Speaker 1: keep going up. Oh well, actually that's all I have
Speaker 1: for background on the chupa cabra. So essentially, to kind
Speaker 1: of to summit all of that, the little monster can
Speaker 1: be taller, short, harrier, bald, have small or large eyes
Speaker 1: that are black or red, have a flat face or
Speaker 1: a long face with big snout. This is a very
Speaker 1: concrete description that would hold up in a court of
Speaker 1: law if the little Booker would ever just show up
Speaker 1: in court. I was gonna say, didn't you say that
Speaker 1: this was a concrete example, as we're not not in
Speaker 1: centuries past sarca sarcasm it yeah, yeah, the chupys descriptions
Speaker 1: are all over the place. And that's my favorite part
Speaker 1: and my least favorite part about this story. It's a
Speaker 1: hard thing, is that, well, which one is it? Is
Speaker 1: it Chupy? Is it the Jersey Devil? Is it this
Speaker 1: other thing? Like? Yeah, to a degree, now, um, I
Speaker 1: will mention that in the Chupacabra story seems to have
Speaker 1: really gained ground in Puerto Rico that then spread to
Speaker 1: Central South and North America. That story has now even
Speaker 1: gone so far that Chupacabra site. Things are happening in
Speaker 1: eastern Europe, by the way. That's from Choopy and the
Speaker 1: Aliens band tour, which I believe was the get your
Speaker 1: Goat and why the hell is this so cold here? Tour?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that I go Yeah, we all have that shirt.
Speaker 1: So that's but that's that's all we have about the
Speaker 1: story of the choop A Cabra. I find it funny
Speaker 1: that he spread so far, but you know, he's an
Speaker 1: industrious little critter that too. Maybe that's why he spread
Speaker 1: so far, as he's actually prolific in the reproductive way.
Speaker 1: Maybe you never know, there's that, or it might just
Speaker 1: be that he stays on the move to to avoid
Speaker 1: contact with human beings, kind of the gypsy lifestyle stuff.
Speaker 1: Maybe that too. Well, let's uh, we've we've finished up
Speaker 1: all of the basic descriptions, so let's talk about the
Speaker 1: theories about the chiop Cabra. But before we do that,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. Hey, Devon, do you like running?
Speaker 1: You bet? I do, Steve, And you know what I
Speaker 1: love running from the most held? You do? You running
Speaker 1: away from the chuppy? Uh? So do you have a
Speaker 1: favorite kind of running, Geared Evan? Why Bomba's socks. Of course,
Speaker 1: they're so comfortable with that crazy honeycomb heart support system.
Speaker 1: I know that my feet are getting the support they
Speaker 1: need and they make you look less like a goat,
Speaker 1: So the chuppy won't come after you, am I right? Uh? Yeah, sure, Joe.
Speaker 1: Anyway back to this end they were recording, So tell me, Devon,
Speaker 1: is there anything else that you like about Bomba's. Oh, Steve,
Speaker 1: there are so many things I like about Bomba's. To
Speaker 1: start off with, there's the super soft cop material, which
Speaker 1: is just amazing because it keeps your feet warm in
Speaker 1: the winter and cool in the summer, and man is
Speaker 1: it hot here right now. The other really fantastic thing
Speaker 1: is that they give so much to those in need.
Speaker 1: Bamba do. It's one pair of socks for repair they sell,
Speaker 1: which is like over seven million a year. That's pretty
Speaker 1: amazing to me, it sure is. And the thing you
Speaker 1: need to understand is that that little devil dog Chupacaba
Speaker 1: sure isn't doing anything like that for anyone. That is
Speaker 1: totally true, Joe. All that little monster does is sit
Speaker 1: around and smoke cigars all day before assaulting livestock. I
Speaker 1: have to say, my favorite thing about Bombas is the
Speaker 1: fact that they fit so well on me. There is
Speaker 1: just something great about wearing socks that stay in place
Speaker 1: while I don't really feel like I feel them there,
Speaker 1: and I never get those gnarly lines on my feet
Speaker 1: that other socks leave, which is why I really like
Speaker 1: them and I really wear them so much. So, dear listener,
Speaker 1: if you'd like some Bombas of your own, then have
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Speaker 1: have been helping people out run chupy since sometime after
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Speaker 1: juo chube juba caa chupacabra. Okay, and we're back. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about theories. WHOA. So, theory number one is that
Speaker 1: the chuba cobra is a dinosaurs one. Well, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a long ignored, unobserved dinosaur because this creature is short,
Speaker 1: it's got leathery skin like a lizard, and it's got
Speaker 1: spikes on its head and those are running down its back,
Speaker 1: which is kind of sounds like a stegosaurus to me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But but if you think about it, though, the problem
Speaker 1: with this theory is that if we're going to look
Speaker 1: at the island of Puerto Rico, there are no large
Speaker 1: lizards that are native to that island. There's some iguanas
Speaker 1: and there's some geckos, but none of them are near
Speaker 1: big enough to be what is described as the chio picabra.
Speaker 1: Nor do they walk on their hind legs. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: lizards sho't typically walk that way. So that's a problem
Speaker 1: and us so about the thing about it is is
Speaker 1: that you know, it could have could have gotten there
Speaker 1: somehow at a ship, say, for example. And we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about that because that is that infers some
Speaker 1: kind of longevity or past in other places, which I
Speaker 1: would think would be reported on prior to this. But
Speaker 1: we'll talk about in a later theory. But I will
Speaker 1: say that the fact that it is unobserved because there
Speaker 1: are there are creatures that are old, like some fish
Speaker 1: or crocodiles or certain creatures like that that have have
Speaker 1: found no reason to change or evolve over the millennia
Speaker 1: that are's basically the same now as they were when
Speaker 1: the t rex was running around. Well, that's the idea
Speaker 1: of this theory, is that the jupicabra is the same
Speaker 1: thing it was of a hundred thousand years ago, especially
Speaker 1: if it was like you know, like shape shifter. If
Speaker 1: that's what it is, that's the most ultimate coolest adaptation ever.
Speaker 1: So why would it change? Yeah? So okay, well, so
Speaker 1: here's the thing is that we're going to go into
Speaker 1: the shape shifter in just a second because I want
Speaker 1: you to flesh that out. But for me, the fact
Speaker 1: that if it had been originally on the island of
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico for that entire time. It's amazing to me
Speaker 1: if it's just a plane dinosaur, not the shape shifting kind,
Speaker 1: but a plane dinosaur, that it would have gone for
Speaker 1: all of the time that people are on that island
Speaker 1: on observed and undescribed in any lord that that to
Speaker 1: me is that's awkward or weird or strange. It doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense. Well, it could have been a fluke that
Speaker 1: brought it there. Yeah, I was just gonna say, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think what Joe was saying earlier isn't is worth
Speaker 1: considering that it wasn't always on Puerto Rico. It could
Speaker 1: have come from Central or South America, where there are
Speaker 1: as we have talked about recently, fast swaths of this
Speaker 1: kind of those areas that I just are totally unexplored.
Speaker 1: That something like a dinosaur could have existed for thousands
Speaker 1: of years, millions of years totally undiscovered, and then somehow,
Speaker 1: you know, managed to get itself wrangled up in like
Speaker 1: a timber shipment or something that ended up you know,
Speaker 1: in Puerto Rico. I mean, and then suddenly, because Puerto
Speaker 1: Rico is so much smaller, suddenly and so much more populous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where it came from. I mean, I just think it's
Speaker 1: worth No, no, I'm not going to completely discredit it.
Speaker 1: I disagree with it, but I'm not gonna just credit Joe.
Speaker 1: Tell him flesh out a little more. Though. Your shape
Speaker 1: shifter idea, Well, it's not that fleshy really, It's just
Speaker 1: it's more leathery. Yeah, it depends on the day. You know.
Speaker 1: I ate a bunch of carbs today, so I'm kind
Speaker 1: of a fleshy shape shifter. But no, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just it's just this obvious. Uh. And I think, you know,
Speaker 1: indisputable that since the accounts have very so much in
Speaker 1: describing the troop of Cabra, that you know, he must
Speaker 1: be a shape shifter, you know. I think it's like
Speaker 1: in disputing, one day he looks like an ant eater,
Speaker 1: the next like a monkey, and one day he looks
Speaker 1: like Bob from the local tribe. Yeah. Yeah, listen, everybody
Speaker 1: said Bob was a weird looking dude, So I get it.
Speaker 1: He had he had a weird craving, he had a
Speaker 1: weird affection for the local goasts. That was that was
Speaker 1: really what set him apart. But that could be also
Speaker 1: it makes him. So elusive is because being a shape
Speaker 1: shifter like he is, and it's like if somebody spots him,
Speaker 1: he can dart away and then just morph into a
Speaker 1: dog or something or a sheep and nobody yeah, or
Speaker 1: part of the herd. Yeah, suddenly yeah, suddenly, boom, he's gone.
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, weird, we there's a there's a
Speaker 1: sheep missing from the herd, but we have the right number. Yeah, yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I cannot think if there's I've read books about shape
Speaker 1: shifters before and how they would integrate into society, So
Speaker 1: that's that's not unheard of, and it makes sense. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, actually, when you come right down to it,
Speaker 1: Choppy could be sitting in this room right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so let me take off my mask christ for walking. No,
Speaker 1: that's not how it actually works. Off my mask, I'm
Speaker 1: Tom Cruise. Yeah, you don't jump on the couch enough
Speaker 1: to be Tom Cruise. Okay, let's move to our next theory.
Speaker 1: The next theory is that the chupa cober is actually
Speaker 1: some kind of vampiric animal, because remember, you know, the
Speaker 1: chupy is supposedly norious for sucking the blood out of
Speaker 1: its victims and that gives the impression that it is Again,
Speaker 1: it is giving the impression that it only is able
Speaker 1: to sustain itself on the blood meal of other creatures,
Speaker 1: and that would explain why people originally called it the vampire,
Speaker 1: the vampire, the vampire of Mocha. Well, there are animals
Speaker 1: on this planet that do partially or entirely survive on
Speaker 1: blood meals. So there's leeches, vampire bats, some birds, some bugs,
Speaker 1: even some plants out there that do it. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: there's no evidence. This is the the issue with it
Speaker 1: is that there's not no evidence of anything as large
Speaker 1: as a chupacabra, independent of which size version of the
Speaker 1: chubacabra you want to adhere to out there that is
Speaker 1: surviving on that much blood as it's only food source.
Speaker 1: But but bear with me here because this the way
Speaker 1: I said, that implies that the only food source it
Speaker 1: has is blood, which is wrong to presume we don't
Speaker 1: know that. Well, yeah, because there are there are a
Speaker 1: bunch of animals out there that consume blood, but that's
Speaker 1: not the only thing they eat. Yeah, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, it doesn't really stand to
Speaker 1: reason that an animal that large would be able to
Speaker 1: sustain itself just on blood. Blood is very nutritious. Blood
Speaker 1: can be very nutritious, but probably not for an animal
Speaker 1: of that size. They have to feed on a lot
Speaker 1: of animals to get the right amount of blood, and
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be a very balanced diet to only drink blood.
Speaker 1: I mean, there are some animals that do. This is
Speaker 1: why you put cellery in your bloody Mary, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it might be that that's kind of this hunting strategy
Speaker 1: is to punks of the animals like herotid arteryy suck
Speaker 1: out enough blood to it loses consciousness and thattic and
Speaker 1: like you know, feed and you know consumed the meat part.
Speaker 1: But then why are they finding all the animals that
Speaker 1: have the hallmarks of being because because He's interrupted before, Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. The issue is that the blood
Speaker 1: sucking is always described as the way that the animal died.
Speaker 1: There is no post consumption of the creature. So the
Speaker 1: goat has its neck punctured and all the blood is gone,
Speaker 1: but the goat is not torn apart and consumed. It
Speaker 1: is still sitting there whole. But that's just the ghosts
Speaker 1: they find. Correct, Okay, I will get that. But and
Speaker 1: but Here's the thing is that if we're going to
Speaker 1: say it's a vampiric animal, there are Okay, let's talk
Speaker 1: about the vampire finch, which is a finch on the
Speaker 1: Galapagos Islands. It eats seas and bugs and grubs just
Speaker 1: like finches do. The only difference is that in the
Speaker 1: dry season or the season where there's not a whole
Speaker 1: lot of its normal food around, what this particular finch
Speaker 1: does is it goes up and it plucks the tail
Speaker 1: feathers out of bigger birds and creates a wound that bleeds,
Speaker 1: and then it feeds on that blood. And apparently you
Speaker 1: will see a line of finches behind a big bird
Speaker 1: and once they've consumed enough, they'll fly away and the
Speaker 1: next one will come up open the wound a little
Speaker 1: bit to keep it bleeding and keep consuming. Yeah, but listen,
Speaker 1: there are animals who do this. It is a I
Speaker 1: mean leeches, and there's are all kinds of creatures that
Speaker 1: it's a creepy, creepy thing to us as people, but
Speaker 1: nature finds a way, so there are animals that do it.
Speaker 1: It's just the scale, well scale, but there is a
Speaker 1: scale thing. But also but still, I mean, I I
Speaker 1: still think as a hunting strategy to suck the blood
Speaker 1: to it loses consciousness and then you go up in
Speaker 1: your chow down after that. It could be too that
Speaker 1: lots of lots of chippy victims have been found, but
Speaker 1: they were assumed to be psychioty attacks or other while attacks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. I guess this is why Joe's not allowed.
Speaker 1: That's true. No, I mean the only thing is I
Speaker 1: think in like fantasy land theory, the idea of sucking
Speaker 1: blood and tell your victim is you have to have
Speaker 1: you have to have some kind of like mesmerized thing
Speaker 1: to write where the animals not going to fight back
Speaker 1: because like hanging onto an animal. Yeah, you have to
Speaker 1: be really strong and be able to suck blood like
Speaker 1: really really fast, because in reality, if you even if
Speaker 1: you puncture like a major artery and animal's gonna immediately
Speaker 1: just fight back really really hard, it would be faster
Speaker 1: almost to just like fold the entire neck at or
Speaker 1: yeah something like. Okay, So I'm going to disagree with
Speaker 1: that because I've for some reason, I've been watching a
Speaker 1: lot of videos of lions on the planes attacking large Uh,
Speaker 1: what's the what do you call animals with the gazels
Speaker 1: like gazelles, the the the split hoof underlands underlands, and
Speaker 1: they grab them, they they're choking them more than anything,
Speaker 1: Like they are opening the veins in their neck by
Speaker 1: biting them, but more often than not, what they're doing
Speaker 1: is they're actually choking. But that's the exact same thing
Speaker 1: I'm saying, right, that's more efficient, Okay, but it is
Speaker 1: possible than in the process of opening these holes that
Speaker 1: are bleeding the animal out, they're also cutting off the windpipe.
Speaker 1: I'm not in bed with this theory, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying that, like, just because this is happening
Speaker 1: doesn't mean something else is happening. But I will tell
Speaker 1: you that there's another larger problem with this whole vampiric angle,
Speaker 1: which is that these animals are that are that are
Speaker 1: found or supposedly have been drained of all their blood.
Speaker 1: But we don't know that for sure because one of
Speaker 1: the things that we've talked about on the show before
Speaker 1: is liver mortis, which is that process where you know
Speaker 1: your blood is being pushed around the body mortis no
Speaker 1: livermore livermore is the blood is being pushed around and
Speaker 1: then once the heart stops, the blood is a liquid,
Speaker 1: so it does what all liquids do. It settles to
Speaker 1: the lowest point, the path of least resistance, at which
Speaker 1: point it pools and coagulates. So if if a rancher
Speaker 1: comes out and says, oh my god, my prize goat,
Speaker 1: Jenny has been killed, well what's happened? And you try
Speaker 1: to cut Jenny open to see what's going on, and
Speaker 1: you kind of expect this spray of blood to happen,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't happen. You go, she's got no blood
Speaker 1: in her. Oh my god, she's been sucked dry. When
Speaker 1: really what's happened is Jenny's blood is all sank to
Speaker 1: whatever the lowest portion of her was and sort of
Speaker 1: semi solidified. Well you know, but still you know, intentions
Speaker 1: might be to completely exsanguinate the animal, but again it
Speaker 1: gets interrupted and has to scamper off into the darkness
Speaker 1: before I can suck all the blood out of it.
Speaker 1: But whatever blood is in Jenny is going to settle
Speaker 1: to Jenny's lowest bits. I just think, you know, Chippy
Speaker 1: is trying to do Rancher as a favor, like they
Speaker 1: have to eventually excigminate the body water anyway, So he's
Speaker 1: just like helping them out, Yeah, just trying to make
Speaker 1: the meat usable. Yeah maybe maybe. No, I don't like
Speaker 1: this theory at all. Let's no. Yeah, really doing that
Speaker 1: to Jenny and the other twenty four Jennifers is just
Speaker 1: not nice. So let's keep moving on. So we have
Speaker 1: another theory, which is that the chupa cabra is an alien. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because what good story wouldn't involve an alien for goodness sake?
Speaker 1: Zero exactly. That's not beyond the realm of possibility now,
Speaker 1: so you preconsistently see the choopy being just chupacabra. By
Speaker 1: the way, just so people don't get upset, we have
Speaker 1: come to call the chupacabra Choopy because he's kind of
Speaker 1: a friendly character to us. But and I keep saying
Speaker 1: would be rather than chupa cabra. It's just a natural
Speaker 1: automatic reaction because we've been talking about the chupa cobra
Speaker 1: for like five years now. It's really just like calling
Speaker 1: a friend, Jenny In said of Jennifer. Yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: the twenty seven chupies that we're talking about here are awesome.
Speaker 1: Come on, you know, the song up. Yeah, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's by the December Yeah catalog, yep, exactly. So when
Speaker 1: you look up drawings and descriptions of this critter, you're
Speaker 1: gonna find that it's not hard to see why some
Speaker 1: people may say that the chupa cobra actually is an alien.
Speaker 1: Some of the drawings it does look pretty. And the
Speaker 1: alien theory kind of explains some things because listen, in
Speaker 1: the seventies and eighties, there was some spot descriptions of
Speaker 1: things that sounded like the chupa cabra, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: until the mid nineties that it really started taking off. Well,
Speaker 1: if the chupa cabra is an alien, that explains why
Speaker 1: it suddenly showed up in the Middle a little the
Speaker 1: Caribbean in the nineties, because it could be that, instead
Speaker 1: of being a natural occurring earthlier, Um, what's the word
Speaker 1: I'm looking for, terrestrial creature. It's an extraterrestrial in that
Speaker 1: this creature suddenly shows up and starts playing havoc here
Speaker 1: in our ecosystems and we're not expecting it. I mean,
Speaker 1: it might also explain the vampiric nature, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know it's possible that creatures from other worlds have
Speaker 1: developed a different physiology, and yeah, they found a blood
Speaker 1: just generally more nutritious. It's like crack. Yeah, and it
Speaker 1: literally could be alien crack. So this could be I
Speaker 1: can see a couple of possibilities here. One is that
Speaker 1: like say some aliens land here like eons ago, could
Speaker 1: be centuries, thousands of years ago, and for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: their their ship broke down and they and they were
Speaker 1: stuck here and they wind up basically because I mean imagine, say,
Speaker 1: for example, if the three of us wind up stuck
Speaker 1: in a jungle somewhere, are we going to build a
Speaker 1: new civilization or are we going to wind up living
Speaker 1: a savagery new civilization? Obviously, yeah, of course. But but
Speaker 1: these aliens are dumber than we are. There's space traveling dummies.
Speaker 1: So they wind up, you know, basically foraging and getting
Speaker 1: they're the rednecks in space traveler. Yeah, but they returned. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of a lot of us really
Speaker 1: don't have the wherewithal too. Most of us could build
Speaker 1: a car, Yeah, none of us good and so and
Speaker 1: so basically they reserved. They reverted essentially to savagery. Okay,
Speaker 1: after centuries that there's still some descendants to the original
Speaker 1: Aliens and out there, maybe even more, but there's still
Speaker 1: not huge numbers or anything like that, and they're still
Speaker 1: out and about. I'll take you a step further. If
Speaker 1: an Aliens dog, Pete they had on their spaceship they
Speaker 1: landed and it ran off, ran off, they were like, hush,
Speaker 1: we got to get out of here. The human puppy
Speaker 1: they're doing well, this sucks. Why do we call you
Speaker 1: fluffy when you have no I don't know, but it's
Speaker 1: the language difference. And then it's you know, that explains
Speaker 1: why maybe they might be smart enough for space travel
Speaker 1: but not smart enough to start there. But I will
Speaker 1: I will actually trade change. That is that they may
Speaker 1: they may not be smart enough for space travel, but
Speaker 1: they may be some kind of interstellar hitchhiker, but the
Speaker 1: interstellar hitchhiker kind that is not smart enough to bring
Speaker 1: our own towels. Yeah. That's the other thing I was thinking,
Speaker 1: is that they're just basically like rats on ships, you know,
Speaker 1: here in the in this this world, not this country,
Speaker 1: just world enormous, but but cloaked alien ship basically lands
Speaker 1: in a few places on the planet and some of
Speaker 1: these things just pop off out of the hold or
Speaker 1: wherever they're hiding out in there. Maybe they flush them
Speaker 1: out because they're like, oh god, we have a bed
Speaker 1: bug infestation. The whatever their equivalent of bed bugs is,
Speaker 1: get rid of it alright, Like the movie Critters, remember
Speaker 1: Critters or a horrible but fun movies. I don't think
Speaker 1: I saw that one. Well, that was from the late
Speaker 1: eighties where they were a little round, hairy things and
Speaker 1: they would roll. You need to see that, you'll hate it, okay,
Speaker 1: but I need to see more movies like that. But
Speaker 1: another possibility, of course, is that the aliens pop by
Speaker 1: and just left these critters off as like kind of
Speaker 1: hunting animals. Essentially, they just wanted to leave them here
Speaker 1: and let them breathe, and they come back and just
Speaker 1: hunt them for sport later on, and maybe who knows,
Speaker 1: maybe they do come back occasionally and hunt up for sports. See.
Speaker 1: The problem though, the whole problem, the joy and the
Speaker 1: terror that is this theory is that your belief in aliens.
Speaker 1: If you believe in aliens, this totally makes sense. If
Speaker 1: you don't believe in aliens, this theory is complete and utter.
Speaker 1: Pooh absolutely conceded to not believe in aliens. But we
Speaker 1: can go down that route a whole different. Yeah. We
Speaker 1: we've gone down that more than once, and I don't
Speaker 1: think we need to go down it again. I'm sure
Speaker 1: they're around it. The big question is is are they
Speaker 1: visiting Earth or have they? You know, that's that's the
Speaker 1: big question. Yeah. I think hitchhiker is a good one. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: well let's let's by the way. Yeah, I know, that's
Speaker 1: why I said they're not good enough to bring their
Speaker 1: own damn powel. All right, let's go to the next theory,
Speaker 1: which is that it is a not as I have written, genetical,
Speaker 1: but an actual genetic mutation created by question mark exactly
Speaker 1: how it's written out, but probably they've created in the
Speaker 1: in the labs that on Plum Island, Oh yeah, yea,
Speaker 1: or NASA. So as uh, as you're reading about Chubby
Speaker 1: and the Chubster, you're gonna, you know, you're not going
Speaker 1: to be surprised to learn that there are conspiracy theories
Speaker 1: surrounding the Chub of Cabra. What I was surprised about
Speaker 1: was where those conspiracy theories were at, because, as we
Speaker 1: talked about before, Puerto Rico is a it's oh god,
Speaker 1: what did we call it earlier? It's a it's an island,
Speaker 1: an unincorporated it's an unincorporated state of the United States,
Speaker 1: and that is it's a territory. So theoretically that's going
Speaker 1: to change soon. But apparently the residence of Puerto Rico
Speaker 1: they don't really like the U. S. Government in ways
Speaker 1: because they feel like they're not treated right, and they
Speaker 1: feel like the U. S. Government is sometimes hiding things
Speaker 1: from them, which I don't disagree with because I think
Speaker 1: the US government is hiding things for me all the time,
Speaker 1: so I get that. What happens here, though, is that
Speaker 1: this theory says that this this creature is being hidden
Speaker 1: from view and how that's happening or why that happening.
Speaker 1: That theory kind of morph or splits into two veins.
Speaker 1: The first vein is that the chupy, the chipicabra is
Speaker 1: created by the US government lab. That lab happened to
Speaker 1: be on Puerto Rico or the island Puerto Rico, and
Speaker 1: that lab was working on genetic manipulation to create new critters,
Speaker 1: so sort of like Dolly the sheep, you know, they
Speaker 1: figured out how to clone a critter. So it's in
Speaker 1: that same vein research like spliced together various DNA from
Speaker 1: various critters goat and a lizard, and you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know an other mean thing. I really want to
Speaker 1: merge this theory with one of the previous theories to
Speaker 1: create the what I will now call the Jurassic Park theory.
Speaker 1: That it could be a dinosaur totally resuscitated by the
Speaker 1: US government that escaped, so it's a raptor, and it
Speaker 1: could just be some kind of dinosaur that we don't
Speaker 1: necessarily know about. If it's gonna be Jurassic Park, it's
Speaker 1: going to be a raptor. Alright, Fine, it's some sort
Speaker 1: of weird wrapper that we don't know about. They created
Speaker 1: lots of difference little dinoas for that for that park.
Speaker 1: But it makes me put the best. But it's scariest.
Speaker 1: But you know, it may well be that it's it's
Speaker 1: bigger than this. It wasn't just something that escaped. Actually,
Speaker 1: there's a U. S. Government plant who just turned the
Speaker 1: entire island of Puerto Rico into Jurassic Park, which makes
Speaker 1: sense actually because the population is leaving there in droves.
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, pretty soon it's gonna be empty.
Speaker 1: Might according to the news coverage, they're all leaving it,
Speaker 1: yet everybody still seems to be living there. Yes, but
Speaker 1: that's that's the theory, is that the US government created
Speaker 1: this thing. Now it maybe it got out on its own,
Speaker 1: or maybe they intentionally let it loose on the island
Speaker 1: to turn it into a giant game park for drawing
Speaker 1: in all the Chinese tourists to to to make money on.
Speaker 1: We don't know. This theory, though, also splits because it's
Speaker 1: what we talked about a little bit earlier, is that
Speaker 1: instead the aliens had created this critter, and the aliens
Speaker 1: came here, they dumped the chupa cabra onto the island
Speaker 1: of Puerto Rico, and from there, of course, the aliens
Speaker 1: in the US government, they're in bed together, sleeping on
Speaker 1: their casper mattress, and they said, we've got to cover
Speaker 1: this up with this giant duvey cover of misinformation. And
Speaker 1: so they pulled up their big old blankie over the
Speaker 1: chupa cabra and just said, no, that didn't happen. I don't.
Speaker 1: You don't know what you're happening. I didn't. That could
Speaker 1: actually explain some of the incoherences of the descriptions of
Speaker 1: the Chupe of Cabra is that you have your agents
Speaker 1: actually actually report sightings of the Chupa cabra, but every
Speaker 1: one of them looks a little different or even a
Speaker 1: lot different, and that would that would totally destroy the
Speaker 1: credibility of the original sightings, the actual real sightings true. Now, Joe,
Speaker 1: I know you're you're a huge fan of always digging
Speaker 1: into old historical information on these things. And I know
Speaker 1: you came up with you found you came up with this,
Speaker 1: So you found this, got this, dude. But the next
Speaker 1: theory that you shoehorned into my script, well, and I
Speaker 1: got this out of a book that in some reacharch
Speaker 1: I was doing on the the assassination of Abraham Lincoln
Speaker 1: and all the years because that happened. Yeah, and well
Speaker 1: it did happen eventually. Apparently there were the assassination attempts.
Speaker 1: He was controversial, but this was a rather controversial time
Speaker 1: in our history. Um passions were running high, very very
Speaker 1: high over the slavery thing and secession all that. But uh, well, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he he did not he did. What I was trying
Speaker 1: to say is he didn't come into power with this
Speaker 1: huge wave of approval. There was all kinds of factions
Speaker 1: that were not happy about him, as his tends to
Speaker 1: be kind of typical of first term presidents. When there's
Speaker 1: a sea change, it's uh, you know, even when things
Speaker 1: are fairly fairly okay, I mean, think things kind of
Speaker 1: going nuts. People's guy doesn't there or a girl does
Speaker 1: not win that the White House like they thought he
Speaker 1: or she should, and everybody goes berserk. But let's get
Speaker 1: back to our theory here. So in the eighteen fifties,
Speaker 1: before obviously Lincoln became president, the Pakerton Detective Agency was
Speaker 1: actually hired by Abraham Lincoln after they repeatedly thwarted an
Speaker 1: assassination attempt against him, and he did not Yeah, I
Speaker 1: did not know, well I had well, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: part of the theory. I'm not so sure that I've
Speaker 1: heard about this one before either, because you know, there
Speaker 1: had been a previous one. I don't know, Well, it
Speaker 1: just hasn't been publicized. Let's just say, obviously, they sort
Speaker 1: of dropped the ball in the second attempt, you know, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well they did. Well. You know you gotta remember about
Speaker 1: the second attempt, though, is that the Civil War was
Speaker 1: basically over at that time, so everybody, Yeah, everybody was.
Speaker 1: It was kind of probably kind of thinking, Okay, everybody's
Speaker 1: just gonna go back to their corner and we're all
Speaker 1: just going to kind of get over everything again. Maybe
Speaker 1: that was it. I don't know, but yeah, the guard
Speaker 1: was down. There was there was a member of the
Speaker 1: Pinkerton's who was actually well known for his superior I
Speaker 1: don't know his his instincts, I guess, and uh, he
Speaker 1: was won by the code named cheap Block Holmes. Really yeah,
Speaker 1: he was a key member of the agency. Yeah, cheap
Speaker 1: Block Holmes. And he was kind of funny looking, but
Speaker 1: he still had a massive success, right, so he was
Speaker 1: accepted and promoted at in a trench coat a lot. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that. I think that the hat may have
Speaker 1: been a way to draw attention away from his his appearance.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but you know, eventually he came kind of
Speaker 1: became disillusion with the organization and left. And rumor has
Speaker 1: it he went south when he left, like towards the
Speaker 1: Texas border maybe, uh yeah. And but you know, other
Speaker 1: than that, surprisingly for a guy who spent so many
Speaker 1: so much time with the agency, there's not that much
Speaker 1: known about him. Uh. And then totally makes sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean he's spy, right, Yeah, well that's a good point.
Speaker 1: He wants to be kind of an onymous. Yeah, although
Speaker 1: you know, if he's out there still, and I assume
Speaker 1: he is, somebody named Arthur Conan Doyle actually actually did
Speaker 1: some research into a time with the Pinkerton's and and
Speaker 1: basically ripped it all off and made it into the
Speaker 1: Sherlock Home Stories and made a pile of money on it.
Speaker 1: And so there was a message left left behind, one
Speaker 1: last message, coded message left for Allen Pinkerton, who was
Speaker 1: the guy who started the Pinkerton Agency. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Code breakers have not yet able to figure figured this
Speaker 1: letter out. But so it said it clear and clear,
Speaker 1: it said, what figured this one out? You're a racist
Speaker 1: jerk face that. Yeah, but they haven't been able to
Speaker 1: figure out what the code was. Yeah, maybe there is
Speaker 1: no code. Maybe that was actually the Well it could
Speaker 1: have been. It could and it could have been. Like
Speaker 1: I said, some quoted messages are probably not really code
Speaker 1: at all, just meant to just drive people nuts. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think at least one or two of the Zodiac
Speaker 1: messages are actually that way. I actually I totally agree. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I do if this is a coded message,
Speaker 1: I love the uncoded version because come on, or the
Speaker 1: coded version. So Joe, I'm sorry, what does this have
Speaker 1: to do with chop Cabra. Well, Troup Block Holmes is
Speaker 1: believed by some people if peop Block Holmes might have
Speaker 1: actually been a chip of cabra in disguise. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I homes of course, So whether it's the
Speaker 1: super cobra, and we don't know if the chuper cobra
Speaker 1: that we that we see today is the same one
Speaker 1: from a hundred two hundred years ago. Some creatures actually
Speaker 1: live a long long time. This is also a time
Speaker 1: frame when people were playing with a lot of chemicals,
Speaker 1: and it could be the chop Block Homes like figured
Speaker 1: out some steam punky way to make a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of chemicals to extend his life. But of course it
Speaker 1: gave him a horrific skin condition and an abnormally large
Speaker 1: love of goats. So literally, what you're saying is he
Speaker 1: just figured out how to turn himself into a Victorian vampire.
Speaker 1: No victory in goat fire. That doesn't work, does it. No,
Speaker 1: it's still a vampire like a goat lover. Victorian goat lover. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's just I'm going here like he's he's got a
Speaker 1: thing for goats, but he lives forever. Yeah, but nobody's nobody.
Speaker 1: I don't think our listeners are buying this, although I
Speaker 1: kind of like your idea of Devon, that that he
Speaker 1: maybe was experimenting with certain chemicals and want from being
Speaker 1: basically a human being to this creature you know who,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of Jucklin Heights thing. Yeah, exactly, So
Speaker 1: I don't know. Okay, let's let's move on to the
Speaker 1: next theory, which is this is actually a really simple theory,
Speaker 1: which is that the chipicabra is real as described. In
Speaker 1: other words, it is a real creature. It has never
Speaker 1: actually been observed. It's truly a cryptid and nobody has
Speaker 1: actually seen it. But there's nothing to say that it's
Speaker 1: not right. And there are creatures out there that have
Speaker 1: not that have been observed but haven't been scientifically captured
Speaker 1: and categorized. And this happens from time to time, and
Speaker 1: too you know the world. Yeah, what's that New species
Speaker 1: do get discovered? They do, but it's still usually they're
Speaker 1: in obscure locations, and they're they're in very remote corners
Speaker 1: of the world to just be bouncing around in the
Speaker 1: middle of South America and Puerto Rico. See a bit
Speaker 1: far fetch, you think, so, I mean, like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's Devin theorized earlier. You know, you could have somehow
Speaker 1: got snagged up and wound up in some cargo that
Speaker 1: got shipped to Puerto Rico as far as South America
Speaker 1: in places like that, I mean, human settlements expanded and
Speaker 1: expand into his territory. So you know it's entirely plausible. Well,
Speaker 1: let's move to the we'll dump up for a second
Speaker 1: because it's gonna then play into the next three, which
Speaker 1: is that it's a myth. Because of course, my problem
Speaker 1: with that is that there's the unobserved thing. But if
Speaker 1: this animal were to have, possibly in some form, once
Speaker 1: existed and then people are telling stories about it, because
Speaker 1: people tell stories all the time to control behavior, whether
Speaker 1: it's children or ethical reasons or whatever like, or to
Speaker 1: stay out of the to stay out of areas for
Speaker 1: religious reasons, like there's all kinds of things like that.
Speaker 1: Well there's that, but also people like a good creepy story.
Speaker 1: But people popular people's imaginations are very very powerful things,
Speaker 1: and you know, I mean, we all know this that
Speaker 1: if you have details missing in something that you see,
Speaker 1: your brain will fill in the missing piece, and normally
Speaker 1: it becomes the scary things. That's why kids that see
Speaker 1: at night they're with their toys and their hanging clothes,
Speaker 1: that becomes Sully from you know, from what was the monsters? Yeah,
Speaker 1: is a dress and a lego. My problem with that theory, though,
Speaker 1: is that the chuper carbon poses no threat to humans. Right,
Speaker 1: So most of those those myths surround either some sort
Speaker 1: of creation story to explain perhaps like thunder something like that,
Speaker 1: or something to keep the kids, like to scare the
Speaker 1: kids witless so that they stay in the camp at night. Right,
Speaker 1: It's very rare to be like, oh, the goats don't
Speaker 1: have these puncture wounds and like there's nothing sucking their blood.
Speaker 1: But let's just make something up. It could be a
Speaker 1: scary thing to to actually ram home to the kids
Speaker 1: the idea that they have to get the goats home
Speaker 1: and in the corrality. That's true. But yeah, but you know,
Speaker 1: it's just usually those kind of myth creations center around,
Speaker 1: like you said, people and scare people either into behaving
Speaker 1: or believing something, and then it has some some repercussion
Speaker 1: for a human if they don't do that thing right. Well,
Speaker 1: so let me share a story of suggestion and interpretation. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're going to go back to which is when we
Speaker 1: said the story kind of went viral, and we're going
Speaker 1: to go back to Magdalene Tolentino. Yeah, in Puerto Rico,
Speaker 1: she remember the originator of the chupy that we know
Speaker 1: and love. Well, it turns out that Madeleine weeks before
Speaker 1: had gone to the theater and seen the movie Species.
Speaker 1: And by the way, yeah, she did not just think
Speaker 1: that this was a movie. She thought this was something
Speaker 1: that was happening on the island of Puerto Rico. And
Speaker 1: if you go when you watch the movie Species, which
Speaker 1: is about the main character, Ish is this girl who
Speaker 1: becomes an a land and she gets all these weird
Speaker 1: things on her and if you look at it, she
Speaker 1: does get really big by the end. But if you
Speaker 1: look at her, she looks a lot like any creature
Speaker 1: created by hr Geiger, because lo and behold he wrote
Speaker 1: both stories the Aliens from the Alien series. And by
Speaker 1: the way, if you don't know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: stop pause us right now. Google hr Geiger aliens. You
Speaker 1: will see the creatures and they have large teeth, large
Speaker 1: spines across their backs. They're very they have a kind
Speaker 1: of an oily, glistening sheen style to them, Like he
Speaker 1: has a very very specific style to the creature. He's said,
Speaker 1: but she wouldn't watch that movie not too long before
Speaker 1: she saw this. Yeah, but are you saying that, hr Geiger?
Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying? So No, But what you
Speaker 1: are saying is that this is this theory isn't so
Speaker 1: much like, oh, it's a myth. The theory is this
Speaker 1: woman got confused, confused. Hold everybody but miss but miss
Speaker 1: are the same thing is that people see something in
Speaker 1: its suggestion and they take it and they spin it
Speaker 1: and they say they see something else, and then they
Speaker 1: tell everybody else, And that's what appears. According to Benjamin Radford, who,
Speaker 1: by the way, is a guy who investigated the origins
Speaker 1: of the chupacabra. He said, wait, Madeline went watched Species
Speaker 1: and then she reported a creature that looked like Still.
Speaker 1: I think Still is her name from Species, and lo
Speaker 1: and behold this thing took off. I just I'm resistant
Speaker 1: to this because I have a better theory. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1: You know what, fine, tell me you better theory. My
Speaker 1: matter theory involves the past. Actually it also it solves
Speaker 1: the past incident. Basically, it's my understanding that Choopy was
Speaker 1: actually an agent for the KGB, whether it be you know,
Speaker 1: a genetic mutation agent or like an actual agent in
Speaker 1: some way forced to coerce or coerced to work with
Speaker 1: the KGB. And I do, I mean, I kind of
Speaker 1: do think that that there was some sort of instead
Speaker 1: of the U. S. Government created this creature, maybe the
Speaker 1: KGB created this creature, or it could have been Tom
Speaker 1: Cruise in a rubber mask. Could have been Tom Cruise
Speaker 1: in a ruber mask. I think he's a little before
Speaker 1: his time, but for all, I don't know if somethingtologists
Speaker 1: might live forever. Just to go on the record, Tom
Speaker 1: Cruise is rubber mask, he is, he might he already
Speaker 1: is rubber mask is true. No, But I think that
Speaker 1: Choopy was was created, but he was somehow a KGB agent,
Speaker 1: and he was actually responsible for the desk at the
Speaker 1: Outlaw pass you like we said we were talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe he drains the blood to actually eat people.
Speaker 1: And and this could be a really good example of
Speaker 1: what happened. I mean, you know, in the frozen tundra,
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. It's five years ago, a joke
Speaker 1: by Jove turns out to be true. Yeah, well it
Speaker 1: wasn't a joke, ye know. He had just started doing
Speaker 1: the research and I finished this research up for him.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but he did not actually drink the blood
Speaker 1: from these guys at the pass, did he. Well, some
Speaker 1: of the bodies were like torn up, right, and so
Speaker 1: I think was destroyed. Yeah, I mean, you know it's possible.
Speaker 1: I mean, they froze. I don't know really, but he
Speaker 1: realized on this incident something had gone wrong, like like
Speaker 1: we were just saying, you know, he tore the bodies up.
Speaker 1: Maybe he wasn't able to drink the blood. I don't
Speaker 1: know really what happened there. That's the remaining mystery of
Speaker 1: the law past. But because of this incident, he realized
Speaker 1: he didn't he couldn't work for the KGB anymore. He like,
Speaker 1: he just couldn't. So he defected because of that cigar.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe it was the cigar, but even even
Speaker 1: back then, the KGB new KGB knew the secondhand smoke
Speaker 1: was a bad thing, and they you have been more
Speaker 1: really down on that whole thing. Well, I think he
Speaker 1: just was personally like horrified with the things that he
Speaker 1: was doing for the KGB. And so he'd defected to
Speaker 1: the U S government and they were like, listen, we
Speaker 1: can't have you in the contiguous United States. So Puerto
Speaker 1: Rico here, listen, Puerto Ricos not Yeah, they're not technically America.
Speaker 1: It's safe. People don't guess that you're there. There's lots
Speaker 1: of weird little farm land down there. It's great. So
Speaker 1: they sent him down there, gave him a farm for
Speaker 1: himself to kind of roam on. But since he hadn't
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, he's not clearly not human. So
Speaker 1: since he didn't have an actual deed to the property
Speaker 1: in the US government was in this kind of situation
Speaker 1: where they had to deny owning the property. The property
Speaker 1: got developed, and again the Indian giver thing that we
Speaker 1: talk it's like in the Frank Finkel episode. They take
Speaker 1: it away and give it back. Yeah, they do that.
Speaker 1: I could just say it if you showed they show
Speaker 1: up to take his lands that you know, we're not.
Speaker 1: We decided to get this as somebody else and develop it. Well,
Speaker 1: even it like, you made this promise and now you're
Speaker 1: taking it back, and the guys when the government says, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what we do. Yeah, I mean either that or
Speaker 1: you know, it was just people who were local. They
Speaker 1: were like, well, that ranch isn't being used, so we
Speaker 1: might as well graize our goats on it. And then suddenly,
Speaker 1: you know, he was feeding on goats and sheep and
Speaker 1: chicken and whatever because people were encroaching on his his
Speaker 1: normal hunting grounds with the U. S. Government had given
Speaker 1: him to By the way, yeah, have you ever eaten goat? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's actually pretty good. It's not bad. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't blame Choopy for liking goat because I mean blood,
Speaker 1: oh well, well with with jerk sauce or some like spices. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in a in a barrel barbecue. That is the bomb
Speaker 1: right there. But no, I mean that's that's my I
Speaker 1: you know, based on Joe's and my research, I think
Speaker 1: this is just to retire KGB defector retired to Puerto Rico. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: let's uh, let's go ahead and move into the next three.
Speaker 1: Kind of overwhelmed with series, right, Well, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of theories in this because this is a huge stone.
Speaker 1: I mean, don't dismiss this story like the mainstream media does, Joe.
Speaker 1: Don't be a mainstream disser of the troops. Come on
Speaker 1: the mainstream. Yeah, the mainstream. They're basically not interested in
Speaker 1: the true. Do not be a tuope denier. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not so Listen, let's here. Here's the next theory is
Speaker 1: that and we have a couple left, We're going all
Speaker 1: the way through with this. And by the way, everybody's
Speaker 1: looking at their phones or iPods or whatever, going, oh
Speaker 1: my god, there's so much episode left. We have a
Speaker 1: lot to go through a little bit. We have whole
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff, important stuff coming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So the next theory is that this is just an
Speaker 1: animal with Maine. Yeah yeah, I've heard these stories, this
Speaker 1: stuff on Facebook and stuff. You see it everywhere. So
Speaker 1: for for the last twenty plus years, animal corpses have
Speaker 1: been brought to officials. And I use that term loosely
Speaker 1: to invest in identify the whole hand air quotes. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is yeah, that's that's the weird. The whole air quote.
Speaker 1: The two finger one is official. The whole hand one
Speaker 1: is kind of awkward, but it is that these people
Speaker 1: have brought these corpses forward saying this is a tubacabra
Speaker 1: chorpse and you should check it out. And of course
Speaker 1: official sources don't ever really want to do it. But
Speaker 1: when they are actually investigated, what appears to be the
Speaker 1: case is that they are not previously unidentified creatures, but
Speaker 1: instead they're the corpses of wild dogs or coyotes or
Speaker 1: some kind of canine. They don't have hair, usually, well
Speaker 1: they don't have hair because they tend to appear to
Speaker 1: typically be suffering from mange, have been submersion water or
Speaker 1: have been submerging water. Okay, yeah, so listen. If you
Speaker 1: don't know what manges, will give you a very very
Speaker 1: quick primer here. Mange is caused by a mite, specifically
Speaker 1: sarcoptic mange. That's the name of this particular mine. And
Speaker 1: what it does is it crawls under the skin and
Speaker 1: it like it literally burrows a tunnel in the skin,
Speaker 1: which is horrible to think of. Yeah, but then it
Speaker 1: lays eggs and that can be very painful and it
Speaker 1: can cause quite a lot of itching. It's not a
Speaker 1: good thing. And these these mites can and they do
Speaker 1: infect people and the what you'll hear in humans, this
Speaker 1: called is scabies. Now, Lucky for us humans, we've been
Speaker 1: dealing with this particular brand of mites for years, like centuries,
Speaker 1: like millennia, so on an evolutionary scale, we've figured out
Speaker 1: how to handle it and kind of um corralled on
Speaker 1: the body. Now, it's not considered desirable, it's not, but
Speaker 1: it is not something that is going to take you
Speaker 1: doubt it is. It's an inconvenient and by the way,
Speaker 1: it is highly contagious and it is highly uncomfortable, and
Speaker 1: if you think you have scabies, you should see a
Speaker 1: doctor because it is very easily treated in humans today.
Speaker 1: But the point is it will not kill us at least.
Speaker 1: It takes a really massive, massive, massive, massive infection to
Speaker 1: really take down a human. Turns out in canines, though
Speaker 1: that's not the case because canines have not been dealing
Speaker 1: with this particular might nearly as long as we have.
Speaker 1: So let's just you know, they get it from humans.
Speaker 1: So anyway, so the dog gets this and doesn't know
Speaker 1: what to do with it. It freaks out, The hair
Speaker 1: falls out, the skin gets thick and turns grayish blackish,
Speaker 1: and it becomes very, very itchy. And the problem with
Speaker 1: that is that because it becomes itchy, they scratch at it,
Speaker 1: they spread the infection because it's high contagious, just like
Speaker 1: in people. In animals or dogs, it's contagious, so spreading
Speaker 1: it makes it contagious. So they're spreading it around themselves.
Speaker 1: They're also opening themselves up to secondary infections. Basically just
Speaker 1: makes all their hair fall out, and it makes it
Speaker 1: worse because now they're they're getting other infections, are getting
Speaker 1: sicker and sicker, weaker and weaker. They look gaunter and gaunter.
Speaker 1: They look horrid. If you want to make yourself cry,
Speaker 1: look up pictures of dogs with maine, because it is
Speaker 1: not a nice thing. It is a sad thing to see.
Speaker 1: And what what happens though, is that these poor critters
Speaker 1: now they're weak. They you know, they can't actually hunt
Speaker 1: like that. Let's take a dog or kayak. They're kind
Speaker 1: of a semi apex predator and they hunt down rabbits
Speaker 1: and squirrels and whatever whatever. They chase things down, but
Speaker 1: they're not fast, but they're they're pretty good at what
Speaker 1: they do. But now they've got maine, so they, yeah,
Speaker 1: they can't do well. So they can't catch their normal praise,
Speaker 1: and now they become hungry and desperate. So where's the
Speaker 1: only food source around? Well, it's on a farm convenient store. Well, no,
Speaker 1: not the convenience. They don't normally shop at seven eleven
Speaker 1: because nobody will give him a debit card. But the
Speaker 1: problem is, of course, is that they don't want to
Speaker 1: go to a human settlement because we as humans were
Speaker 1: super aggressive and we will take them out, yea, And
Speaker 1: they know this, but suddenly they have no choice, like
Speaker 1: that tied up goat is the only thing they can get.
Speaker 1: But of course they're also easily scared away. So now
Speaker 1: let's say they attack the tied up goat and then
Speaker 1: the guy who owns the goal comes out and yells
Speaker 1: and they run away. Well then he shows up and
Speaker 1: all he finds is his bleeding goat on the ground
Speaker 1: with no blood in it. He doesn't know what the
Speaker 1: hell is going on. Thus he thinks a vampire attacked
Speaker 1: his goat. So it could be Maine because it does terrible,
Speaker 1: terrible things to these particular critters. Makes them look pretty ugly,
Speaker 1: that's for sure, although I'd like to point out too
Speaker 1: that it would be probably child's play. For the US
Speaker 1: government to pluck the hair out of some poor animals
Speaker 1: from poor canine and set them loose out there, you know,
Speaker 1: just just to throw us all off the track of
Speaker 1: you know, the real chuppy. Oh are you saying they
Speaker 1: like give him a buzz job and then spread the
Speaker 1: hair everywhere and say, oh, it was something else I'm saying,
Speaker 1: say they they essentially like you know, shave their hair whatever,
Speaker 1: and then set them loose to basically with the object
Speaker 1: that they will attack livestock, be spotted, be reported as
Speaker 1: this unearthly like, awful, monstrous creature which you know, darts
Speaker 1: off into the darkness and uh, and that will basically
Speaker 1: allow people like you to spread this kind of misinformation.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I get it. I gotta yea.
Speaker 1: I don't like the theory either. Okay, you know what
Speaker 1: the theory I really like. So based on the area.
Speaker 1: And by the way, this is not in the script,
Speaker 1: so don't look at it because it's not gonna help
Speaker 1: you out. Have you ever looked at the Mexican hairless dog,
Speaker 1: the ones with the mohawks? Okay, a friend of mine
Speaker 1: has a Mexican hairless and her name is Chupy. She
Speaker 1: has gray, weird looking skin and a very briskly black mohawk.
Speaker 1: And every time I read about the chub of Cobra,
Speaker 1: I look at that dog and I think, well, you're
Speaker 1: too cute and sweet to do that. But but maybe
Speaker 1: if you didn't live in an apartment with kibble all
Speaker 1: the time, you would do it. Probably probably all three
Speaker 1: of us would do it too. We're desperate enough, but true. Also,
Speaker 1: I also really want to have a hairless dog, except
Speaker 1: my wife will not let me have a dog, a
Speaker 1: hairless dog in the house because if you ever petted
Speaker 1: a hairless animal, it's like petting your forearm, which is
Speaker 1: weirdly soothe, but not to anybody else. I do not
Speaker 1: pet my forearm. I got all kinds of weird stuff,
Speaker 1: but I don't pet my forearms. See, this is what
Speaker 1: keeps me comfortable in times of stresses. I just pet
Speaker 1: my forearms. Well, let's go on to our next theory here,
Speaker 1: which is, oh, oh, this theory. Actually, this is probably
Speaker 1: one of our most solid theories we have to date,
Speaker 1: which is the Chupa Cobra created this particular podcast and
Speaker 1: has for the past five years forced us each week
Speaker 1: to make it or pay us. You know, actually there
Speaker 1: is a theory out there which is not really but
Speaker 1: you know, Chupy might be actually the first self promoting
Speaker 1: quasi mythical animal out there. He might be the you know,
Speaker 1: the public the obverse of Bigfoot who actually is secretive.
Speaker 1: It might be the Chupy just can't get noticed and
Speaker 1: he's trying really hard. Listen, have you seen the book
Speaker 1: written by the Bigfoot though write books book? I have
Speaker 1: not seen that one agreed book. It's really good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really well written. Okay, there you go. There's also
Speaker 1: we have one other theory here, which is that all
Speaker 1: of these particular theories that we have read out today
Speaker 1: are correct. And it turns out that we were not
Speaker 1: in fact paid by the Chupa Cabra to foster more
Speaker 1: and more disinformation about the Chupa Cobra and per the
Speaker 1: that we all signed for the NDIA that we all
Speaker 1: signed because he's true, we're not even supposed to be
Speaker 1: saying what we're saying right now about that. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: lawyer me please please Okay, any other last chupacabra theories
Speaker 1: that you guys want to throw it, I mean, personally
Speaker 1: per our n d A. I don't believe we're allowed
Speaker 1: to spread it. I don't think I'm gonna come down
Speaker 1: on the side of an alien lead behind. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like the alien fluffy theory. Actually, yeah, I think so
Speaker 1: tragically they're they're pet round off or just creators that
Speaker 1: stowed away in the ship that kind of Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: probably what it was. Yeah, alright, boys and girls, Well,
Speaker 1: now that we've solved the mystery of the Chupacabra, we
Speaker 1: need to talk about that bit of information that we
Speaker 1: told you in the beginning of the episode that you
Speaker 1: need to listen for. Yeah, so you're still listening. I
Speaker 1: really hope they're listening to other oness gonna be really
Speaker 1: really confused later, because here's the deal, guys, the Chupacabra episode,
Speaker 1: this is our last episode. We are we're finishing the podcast.
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna be upset about it, but I
Speaker 1: want you know the reason why, and I want to
Speaker 1: be honest with it, is that I personally I'm moving
Speaker 1: out of the country. I'm moving to Southeast Asia, and
Speaker 1: with the time zone differences and the unpredictability of internet connections,
Speaker 1: there's just there's just no real way for us to
Speaker 1: continue to make the podcast. And when I talked to
Speaker 1: Joe and Devon about this one, when I knew and
Speaker 1: I was gonna move, we figured it out and we said, listen,
Speaker 1: the one thing we want to do is we want
Speaker 1: to make sure we get to that five year mark.
Speaker 1: We've were so close. Let's hit that anniversary. And that's
Speaker 1: why we we've gone to this episode that we did.
Speaker 1: By the way, people have asked us in personal interactions, well,
Speaker 1: what would be your final episode? Well we always said, well,
Speaker 1: it would have to be the chup of Cabra. So
Speaker 1: thus why Choopy got to be the crowning final episode.
Speaker 1: So there's some things that I would like to share,
Speaker 1: some heartfelt things I'd like to express to all of
Speaker 1: you who have supported us through the years. I want
Speaker 1: to say thank you, And to all of you who
Speaker 1: have wind and complained about the slightest perceived offenses, I
Speaker 1: want to tell you to piss off. But seriously, honestly, uh,
Speaker 1: it's been a blast getting to to bring the show
Speaker 1: to everyone for all the years, and I loved getting
Speaker 1: to interact with everyone. I mean, there's been so many
Speaker 1: of you, and and the Internet is a dark and
Speaker 1: scary place and you guys made it such a good
Speaker 1: place to be and it was it was such a
Speaker 1: positive thing that I really really appreciate that. I don't
Speaker 1: know how better to express it than to say that.
Speaker 1: But but don't worry. Just so you know, this is
Speaker 1: not the final episode of Thinking Sideways. We're gonna be
Speaker 1: releasing some more content. We forgot, content that was never
Speaker 1: actually released into the regular feed, and we're gonna be
Speaker 1: releasing that over the course of the next five or
Speaker 1: six episodes or so five or six weeks. So keep
Speaker 1: an eye out on that. And when it comes time
Speaker 1: for any of us to start a new venture or
Speaker 1: anything like that, we're gonna let you know. Our social
Speaker 1: media is still going to be out there. Personally myself,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be taking time while I'm abroad to work
Speaker 1: to focus on my photography. If you want to follow
Speaker 1: any of that, you are more than welcome to do so.
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram and on two Twitter. On Instagram, i
Speaker 1: am how Steve sees the world. On Twitter, i am
Speaker 1: how Steve sees Those are the two places that you'll
Speaker 1: see me. And we'll put this on the website so
Speaker 1: that you can track all of that. But thank you
Speaker 1: very much. I really really don't know how better to
Speaker 1: say it, but it has been phenomenal. Yeah, I mean, I, um,
Speaker 1: some of you already follow me on my personal personal
Speaker 1: social media's um pretty much miss d K power everywhere.
Speaker 1: And again we'll you know, push this out on social
Speaker 1: media in case you want to connect with us. And
Speaker 1: like Steve said, we're going to keep our thinking sideways
Speaker 1: social media alive for as long as we can bear
Speaker 1: to do it, which maybe another five years for all
Speaker 1: we know. UM, And I just wanted to say what
Speaker 1: an absolute joy it's been to see this community become
Speaker 1: what it has, you know, you those of us that
Speaker 1: have been here since the beginning. You know, we started
Speaker 1: this five years ago and when we were first starting out,
Speaker 1: it was just you know us and and pretty much
Speaker 1: just us in Justin and Aaron from Generation Why doing
Speaker 1: true crime and unsolved mysteries. And since then the community
Speaker 1: has grown into something insane, which is for better for worse.
Speaker 1: And I don't I don't want to call out our
Speaker 1: friend podcasts for fear of leaving some some of them out,
Speaker 1: but you guys know who you are, and we just
Speaker 1: love you and have loved getting to know you and
Speaker 1: want to send a huge and special shout out to
Speaker 1: our Facebook mods who are Christina, Alexa, Kyle, Draco, Jamie
Speaker 1: and Leslie. Without them, the Facebook group would have been
Speaker 1: shut down four years ago easily. Most of all, I
Speaker 1: just want to thank all of you for listening, everyone
Speaker 1: who we met at meetups and and crime con everyone
Speaker 1: who listened and emailed and helped make this really fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you everyone for making this what it was for
Speaker 1: the last five years, and for me for my part.
Speaker 1: Sorry about the short notice on this. It's a little
Speaker 1: bit of a real surprise for some of you, I'm sure,
Speaker 1: and we're a little sad about this, but try to
Speaker 1: remember it's not necessarily goodbye forever. We'll still be a round,
Speaker 1: like I said on social media. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I've been pondering the possibility of maybe a new podcast
Speaker 1: or something. I don't know what, so you haven't heard
Speaker 1: the last of us. Necessarily now, don't delete our podcast
Speaker 1: from your feed, because if any of us starts a
Speaker 1: new podcast, well at the first episode or so much
Speaker 1: show up in our feet someday. And also, I have
Speaker 1: restarted my Twitter account, which I've had since ten and
Speaker 1: never use. I'm not going to give you my handle
Speaker 1: because I wanted a new, spiffier handle that more fits,
Speaker 1: you know, the whole thing that we're doing these days.
Speaker 1: And when I went out and I had several good ideas,
Speaker 1: every damn one was taken. And I'm really really and
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, Davin had a wonderful suggestion was
Speaker 1: was Skytrain, and some jerk has taken it, and I'm
Speaker 1: really kind of angry about that. But anyway, so we
Speaker 1: will figure out a handle for you, and we'll put
Speaker 1: it on social media. We will, yeah, so that we'll
Speaker 1: get that straight. Now, I'll get a handle out to
Speaker 1: you guys so you can follow me on Twitter, which
Speaker 1: I know you're dying to do. Then I I wanted
Speaker 1: to echo what Devon said about our Facebook mods, who
Speaker 1: are awesome, and I hope, by the way, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stick around for a little while because our our Facebook
Speaker 1: and all their social and all our social media is
Speaker 1: not going to just go away. Um. And also, of
Speaker 1: course our fellow podcasters, again echoing Devon, they're awesome that
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like there are extended family, kind
Speaker 1: of without the weirdness, but we all get along great.
Speaker 1: There's no backbiting, no ugly competition. Everybody's just awesome and
Speaker 1: I love you guys, all of you. And then you've
Speaker 1: all you've all been totally helpful over the years and
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Uh. And lastly, of course, our
Speaker 1: listeners and uh, I never thought that when we started
Speaker 1: doing this that that many people would really want to
Speaker 1: listen to us, and uh and of course not nearly
Speaker 1: enough did, but still quite a few did, so that
Speaker 1: was cool. Uh. We got a ton of messages from
Speaker 1: people saying stuff like how much said they love these
Speaker 1: weird little stories they've never heard before, or just you know,
Speaker 1: you make my commute to work bearable, or you just
Speaker 1: give me all these hours of on and enjoyment and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, you know what I'm talking about. And uh,
Speaker 1: these messages have really meant a lot to me because
Speaker 1: they made me realize that our podcast, which we kind
Speaker 1: of started as a lark, it really our podcast it
Speaker 1: does make a lot of people's lives just a little
Speaker 1: bit better. I'm not saying we're changing the world in
Speaker 1: a huge way, but in a tiny way. We kind
Speaker 1: of we kind of do make it a better place
Speaker 1: I think anyway, And for me, that that has made
Speaker 1: all the time we spent doing this really worthwhile. And
Speaker 1: I hope everybody else feels the same about all the
Speaker 1: time you've spent listening to us too. It's been great.
Speaker 1: We love you guys, and again, well we will we
Speaker 1: will see you again. Uh. And as as a final note, uh,
Speaker 1: not so much to the listeners, but to you both.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It's it's been amazing to work
Speaker 1: with you, and I couldn't imagine doing this with anybody
Speaker 1: other than you two jokers. It's it's been a weird one, right,
Speaker 1: and at times it's been great and at times it's
Speaker 1: been what is going on? It's a bit like being
Speaker 1: on mushrooms, but it was a lot of fun. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't imagine you too. I don't care
Speaker 1: about you guys at all, so I don't care. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's kind of been apparent to me for a while now. Actually,
Speaker 1: Devin started out with this is a just a young
Speaker 1: woman in her mid twenties, um, and just watching her
Speaker 1: grow into a young woman in late twenties has been
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we got a Harry and the Hendricks. Alright,
Speaker 1: Well to YouTube. Thank you to everybody, out there. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Yeah, and by the way, just so
Speaker 1: special thanks to Steve. Also because Steve was a guy
Speaker 1: who really wanted to do something on the internet really bad,
Speaker 1: and so it was actually kind of his idea to
Speaker 1: do a podcast. So we're gonna get a little extra
Speaker 1: credit for that. And also people don't know that Steve's
Speaker 1: our editor. He's actually been editing the sound all these
Speaker 1: years too. Yeah, so thank you for that. Thank you. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: shall we shall we roll this up? All right, everybody,
Speaker 1: it's been good. A couple more episodes coming your way
Speaker 1: in the feed. I believe there's gonna be five more
Speaker 1: bits of unreleased audio that you haven't heard yet before
Speaker 1: the whole thing closes up, shops, So thank you much.
Speaker 1: We really really appreciate it, and in some form we'll
Speaker 1: talk to you again. You'll be hearing from us sooner
Speaker 1: or later, I think. Yeah, bye, guys, Bye bye. I
Speaker 1: love you.