Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: It is a hot topic holiday episode. I get excited
Speaker 1: for current events. This is I don't. I actually felt
Speaker 1: that come over me when I read it. But you
Speaker 1: know why I don't love hot topics. I do know why.
Speaker 1: But would you like to share that you can share?
Speaker 1: Why do you think I don't like hot episode? Swimming?
Speaker 1: Last time? It went so swiftly? Last time? Did it
Speaker 1: go so swiftly? Escalated swiftly? Oh? This is Tara Reid
Speaker 1: filling in for Kristin bruston wind Down. Oh? But yeah,
Speaker 1: I made this joke in front of two sweet twenty somethings.
Speaker 1: I like, who's Tara Reid? I go, you guys, is
Speaker 1: this so Tara Reid's a good twenty or two thousand
Speaker 1: and five or something? And they both like looked at me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, y'all have no idea who Tara
Speaker 1: Reid is? Do you? And they were like no, did
Speaker 1: I tell you the time? Christine? I remember seeing her
Speaker 1: to club one time, like we grew up with Tara Reid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like our girl. She was. Is she doing now?
Speaker 1: I don't know. When I googled her, I found this
Speaker 1: interview because I was trying to explain it to them.
Speaker 1: It hurts me, so can you just let her it
Speaker 1: does doesn't hurt, No, it doesn't hurt. This is actually
Speaker 1: the best it sounded. And legend Brost is living for
Speaker 1: the fact that I don't have a voice. Really, Oh
Speaker 1: he loves it. Why because I'm usually the one that's
Speaker 1: putting the like Escully did voice, got it okay? But
Speaker 1: that it does knock? Yeah? Sorry. So I googled her
Speaker 1: to see what is Tara doing now? And all I
Speaker 1: found is this really sad, slurry interview that she did.
Speaker 1: I know, and it wasn't I don't feel like it
Speaker 1: was that long ago. I don't know, but I was like, oh, Tara,
Speaker 1: you know, Hollywood's hard, it is, I know, you know,
Speaker 1: well not really like I don't know, like you know
Speaker 1: more than I do. Sure, but yeah, well that's a bummer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we're happy to have you here. Yeah, we're missing
Speaker 1: kitt KitKat Is. She is at the doctor's office right
Speaker 1: now with her daughter because everyone and their daughter has
Speaker 1: the flu. That's correct, So that's that's a bummer. Miss.
Speaker 1: We miss our little KitKat. But we are going to
Speaker 1: have a hot topic, show chat about the holidays, anything
Speaker 1: else that's going on. Why I don't like these usually
Speaker 1: is because it can become a little click baity a
Speaker 1: little and that scares me because, you know what, one
Speaker 1: of the things that I've been that I've tried to well,
Speaker 1: that I that I worked on this year was what
Speaker 1: how do I say this? Was? And I kind of
Speaker 1: talked about this a little bit on one of my last episodes,
Speaker 1: was about opinions and having opinions and like what does
Speaker 1: my opinion actually? Like? Why do I even have to
Speaker 1: have an opinion? Correct? Right? So? And then what do
Speaker 1: I want my opinion to be? Like when I speak?
Speaker 1: Do I want it to be an opinionion? Like? What
Speaker 1: level of because we all have an opinion, right, so
Speaker 1: it's and when we share it, how do we want
Speaker 1: it to come out? And so sometimes I think when
Speaker 1: I have shared my opinion, it might not come out
Speaker 1: the way that I would either a want it to
Speaker 1: or be. Why would I need to have that certain
Speaker 1: kind of opinion? Well, I also think it's worth noting
Speaker 1: that there is And I had to have a pleasant
Speaker 1: discussion with one of your listeners at one point because
Speaker 1: she our listeners. She wrote to me about me on accident,
Speaker 1: Oh Angela, oh no, and I had to remind her
Speaker 1: that there is a show flow, that there are things
Speaker 1: that we are given as ideas of topics. Yes, that
Speaker 1: what is the point of me actually being here if
Speaker 1: I don't say anything? Ever? Right, it's a podcast, right,
Speaker 1: isn't it? You know? Yeah? So anyways, it's worthy admiring
Speaker 1: if everyone agreed on it. So like I tell the girls, hey, like,
Speaker 1: if you disagree, disagree, because no one wants to listen
Speaker 1: to something where everyone's like yes absolutely, yes, as sure
Speaker 1: for sure, Like and if you don't agree with me,
Speaker 1: say you don't agree with me? Can I get Can
Speaker 1: I let you guys in a secret behind morning show recipes? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: so this could not be true anymore. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Radio is much evolved since I was nineteen. But back
Speaker 1: in the day, there was this formula that they had
Speaker 1: and it was a three person formula for morning shows
Speaker 1: and they called it the dough, the Richard for cleaning
Speaker 1: it up, and the dude. So somebody had to be
Speaker 1: a go with the flow homie always a female and
Speaker 1: always just like somebody that just was always combative about everything. Sure,
Speaker 1: but that's what makes it interesting. And over years of
Speaker 1: radio they discover this little formula because that's how it
Speaker 1: that's what gets people intrigued, and you can usually identify
Speaker 1: with somebody and like kind of side with somebody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because if everyone was me and you wouldn't like that
Speaker 1: listening to that either, Yeah, there has to be the
Speaker 1: view would never be the view because if everybody had
Speaker 1: the same opinion, well doesn't show I haven't watched the view.
Speaker 1: I don't think they're all kind of I don't know
Speaker 1: I have it, but I think yeah, are supposed to
Speaker 1: be that everyone's kind of like you know, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So all of that to say in your defense, often
Speaker 1: we are asked sometimes do you have an opinion about this? Right?
Speaker 1: And I think we learned a valuable lesson last time
Speaker 1: that we just don't even have to have one right
Speaker 1: or if you do, that's okay, it's it's it's just
Speaker 1: how it how how it comes out to. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: the people could listen to the whole thing and get
Speaker 1: some context. Sure that would have been helpful. Yeah, any
Speaker 1: friends under the bus, but yeah, yeah, yeah, but why
Speaker 1: As I'm reading this breakdown, the first headline and topic
Speaker 1: are you ready for it? I was like, wait what
Speaker 1: and I gain I don't are you ready for it?
Speaker 1: And I was like, is that a hint? I was like,
Speaker 1: well done, No I I It says Jana Kramer's husband says.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I did like what what
Speaker 1: did he say? I'm like, why is this on the rundown?
Speaker 1: And I didn't know it got picked up? But of
Speaker 1: course it says he wouldn't allow her to do sex
Speaker 1: scenes like on Yellowstone. Here's the article here, ladies, let's
Speaker 1: have your take on this. And I'm like, oh gosh,
Speaker 1: what is this? So I click on it and it
Speaker 1: brings me to US Weekly. I was like, crap, you're
Speaker 1: vacation home US Weekly and so I start reading the
Speaker 1: comments and it's like girl, run red flags, like he
Speaker 1: won't allow. So I just sent it to Alan and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh boy, and he's like, oh, for
Speaker 1: Fok's sake, He's like, I look crazy, you know, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, let's actually have a conversation about it,
Speaker 1: because I I hear what you were saying on the show,
Speaker 1: and I can empathy empathize that it would be difficult.
Speaker 1: But when you say I would never allow her to
Speaker 1: do this. There was a little piece of me that
Speaker 1: was like, is he serious? You know, yeah, if I
Speaker 1: got the role of like of a lifetime he would
Speaker 1: he actually would he actually make me say no. And
Speaker 1: so for a split second that was a good topic
Speaker 1: for us. Actually yeah, And for a split second that
Speaker 1: episode made me kind of go wait, but like really,
Speaker 1: like I know again this goes back to the whole
Speaker 1: podcasting thing of you know, it's fun to kind of
Speaker 1: stir the pot a little bit, have fun, and this
Speaker 1: is you know, but the podcast it's it's supposed to
Speaker 1: you know, stir pots a little bit this one and
Speaker 1: so but then I afterwards it got me kind of thinking.
Speaker 1: Then when I saw that article, I was like, all right, babe,
Speaker 1: so what like what is it like? Do you really
Speaker 1: mean that? Because I yeah, for a split second, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh wow, like maybe he actually means this
Speaker 1: or or is he just putting it on for like
Speaker 1: a little pot stirring. But what's the answer. He's both, no,
Speaker 1: he said, I mean it would be something we would
Speaker 1: need to discuss. He goes, I will never like it.
Speaker 1: I will never like someone being able to smell your pheromones.
Speaker 1: He's like those are mine. That's correct, Ellen and I
Speaker 1: have a lot in common. That's why I think this
Speaker 1: is a good topic here. Yeah, he's like, those are mine,
Speaker 1: you know, And to have someone that close to you,
Speaker 1: he goes, I am going to have a really hard
Speaker 1: time with that. Having said that, he's like, if it's
Speaker 1: career changing and it's a big role, obviously I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say for you to turn it down. It would just
Speaker 1: be hard for me. And I'm like, I totally get that.
Speaker 1: I totally empathized that that would be really hard for you.
Speaker 1: And if it is, I'm not just going to do
Speaker 1: it for some crap movie or whatever. It would be
Speaker 1: for something that would be, you know, moving the needle
Speaker 1: forward for my career if that role entailed it as
Speaker 1: long as the needle it's for Alan. So what is tricky,
Speaker 1: I think is that Alan would be if you were
Speaker 1: doing a really great acting job, Alan would not like that. Well,
Speaker 1: it is the only one that really knows what it
Speaker 1: would look like if you were doing an excellent job
Speaker 1: at acting. Well. I remember one time in one of
Speaker 1: the movies, I can't remember which one, He's like, really, Babe,
Speaker 1: the hand behind the head, you know, because like when
Speaker 1: you kiss someone I do like, I'm like, is this sting? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like no, But I also don't want to like overthink
Speaker 1: any there. But out of the day, he is the
Speaker 1: most supportive husband ever I think, and I want to
Speaker 1: just stick up for him a little bit because he's
Speaker 1: not the red flag. He would never actually make me
Speaker 1: say no. It would just be a discussion. I think
Speaker 1: it should be a discussion. Yeah, I would stick up
Speaker 1: for him a lot in this case because I have
Speaker 1: some I'm married to someone who is in an industry
Speaker 1: that could lend itself if it needed to. This is
Speaker 1: why we're a no with Dancing with the Stars. And
Speaker 1: I told Cheryl Burke that, like I do. I think
Speaker 1: it is when you know it's your person, you can say,
Speaker 1: don't allow, wouldn't love it, wouldn't approve it, whatever word
Speaker 1: you want to use. But I don't know and hear
Speaker 1: everyone this is where you guys get into my DMS
Speaker 1: Kristin Dbruss because you're gonna say, I just don't know
Speaker 1: anybody that feels super comfortable watching their partner do that
Speaker 1: with someone else ever, Like you want it to be
Speaker 1: on like no one, Oh, okay, maybe not all, maybe
Speaker 1: even have the couches. You're looking at me. No, it's
Speaker 1: because again I've dated actors who have done those kind
Speaker 1: of roles. I can't I cannot imagine. Is it the
Speaker 1: Detroit and me like, I'm literally like, let's we are
Speaker 1: cutting like I don't know it. It's because you're not.
Speaker 1: That's just not what you're used to, you know, like
Speaker 1: when two actors date each other, that's just the norm.
Speaker 1: I would I literally would die, like I can feel
Speaker 1: my throat closing. Yeah, if it was if it was Alan,
Speaker 1: you know, all of a sudden started acting, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't like that because I'd be like, he's not used
Speaker 1: to that, you know what I mean, Like, no, you're
Speaker 1: not an actor, you know what I mean. But if
Speaker 1: he did it before, then yeah, because that's I would do. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting too because I get people that are like, oh,
Speaker 1: I couldn't even be without my husband two in ter
Speaker 1: night's a year, like how do you do that? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I don't know any different, Sure, so
Speaker 1: I guess it's a long I can do that. Well, Well,
Speaker 1: anyone can do anything, that's right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I though, could not watch my husband do anything with
Speaker 1: anybody else. No, but again I think it's different because
Speaker 1: you guys aren't actors, That's right, and so that's that's
Speaker 1: the thing that will always be I think the hardest
Speaker 1: thing because it is a craft. I want to defend that.
Speaker 1: I know, acting is like an actual craft in talent.
Speaker 1: So this isn't like I think people are just like,
Speaker 1: it's not like we're doing pornos, right, I like a
Speaker 1: lot of things get really close now well yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean they like we talked about the last episode it
Speaker 1: which was like things, you know, they're really stretching boundaries
Speaker 1: with how intimate scenes are and what you know they're
Speaker 1: doing on TV and the streamers and all that. So
Speaker 1: I like, I get it. Having said that, it is
Speaker 1: a part of my job if the role entails it, yeah,
Speaker 1: those scenes, yeah we would just say hey yeah. But
Speaker 1: to defend my husband, I think he he's like the
Speaker 1: allow word was tough. Come on, everybody a Scottish the
Speaker 1: love of God, Like, Alan is such a good dude.
Speaker 1: He also very supportive and he is supportive. He's also
Speaker 1: protective of you, which I like in that way because
Speaker 1: I feel like this I always feel like nervous to misspeak,
Speaker 1: but like, I feel like in my experience, in my
Speaker 1: ten years with you, I have not seen anyone be
Speaker 1: this protective of you in such good ways. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I love that about him. He's that's the difference for me.
Speaker 1: When I met Alan, I was like, ooh, my favorite
Speaker 1: part of Alan is I knew what he was going
Speaker 1: to establish some boundaries that were probably like you and
Speaker 1: I have talked about this off air. Sometimes I forget
Speaker 1: recording and then I get nervous. Let me just rewind myself.
Speaker 1: But like I needed someone like pressing to come in
Speaker 1: and be like, that's actually not acceptable, and so I
Speaker 1: kind of like, and it's true, Like, if you're talking
Speaker 1: about the true covenant of marriage, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things that need to be discussed and protected, and I
Speaker 1: feel like Alan does a really good job of those things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and one thousand percent. And because the level and because
Speaker 1: there's actually respect in this marriage. Yes, the things that
Speaker 1: I would do in the past when I wasn't with
Speaker 1: Alan on set, even married, I mean I was way flirty,
Speaker 1: inappropriate being married, but there was zero respect. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be out of my marriage right, you know, but
Speaker 1: still so inappropriate, And you would have said yes to
Speaker 1: the roles without even discussing with him, there would be no, like,
Speaker 1: zero discussion there was. I mean, I was I didn't
Speaker 1: have good boundaries because I was just the marriage. There
Speaker 1: was zero respect and I was so disrespected for so
Speaker 1: long that I was like, I need to respect you.
Speaker 1: You didn't respect me, right, you know? But you know
Speaker 1: now it's like, oh my gosh, Like thinking even even
Speaker 1: if I was, and I don't think I was meaning
Speaker 1: to be flirty, but thinking back, I'm like, I would
Speaker 1: never be like instagramming all the time with another dude
Speaker 1: on set, like, and I haven't since I've been because
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's not respectful, right, that's the difference. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I think I've So I think Alan. I like
Speaker 1: that Alan just spoke what he wanted to say. He's
Speaker 1: also he's a football soccer player. He's not made from
Speaker 1: like he wasn't media trained to be picking his words specifically.
Speaker 1: And I want to remind everyone he's Scottish. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so leave Allan alone. Next hot topic, Taylor Swift gave
Speaker 1: a whopping one hundred and ninety seven million in bonuses
Speaker 1: to eras to her performer's crew on Top of their salaries.
Speaker 1: The typical amount is five to ten in each. She
Speaker 1: gave each of her heirs to her truck drivers one
Speaker 1: hundred thousand bonuses a handwritten note. I there's one thing
Speaker 1: that I got to say. Did you end up going
Speaker 1: to a show? I didn't, so I really wanted to
Speaker 1: because it's, you know, from all the things that I
Speaker 1: saw and the you know, people going to see it
Speaker 1: on Instagram, you know, posting their stories. I did watch
Speaker 1: the movie, but I yeah, I would have loved to
Speaker 1: have gone. The tickets were just too expensive. But I mean,
Speaker 1: one thing that I just have always loved is the
Speaker 1: how she goes out of her way for writing the notes.
Speaker 1: She's so crazy busy and doing all the things, but
Speaker 1: she goes above and beyond for things like that. And then,
Speaker 1: I mean, those bonuses change people's lives in what she does.
Speaker 1: So I think it's it's incredible that she gives back
Speaker 1: the way that she does, because she's obviously made I
Speaker 1: don't know how much that tour made, but it made
Speaker 1: a lot, and so the fact that she knows that
Speaker 1: it wouldn't go on without these other people, so how
Speaker 1: she pays them back is beautiful. I mean I think
Speaker 1: that's like so respectful. And you know, she's making homemade
Speaker 1: pop tarts. Have you seen this? No, she makes homemade
Speaker 1: pop tarts for like the other players on the Chiefs
Speaker 1: and stuff. And I'm like, I can't even shampoo. She
Speaker 1: just did, like I'm not finding time to wash my
Speaker 1: hair and she's making homemade pop tarts and on stage
Speaker 1: for three hours. Like It's why I'm about to cancel
Speaker 1: my invite to the to the Queendom Christmas party thing
Speaker 1: because everyone was talking about like bring a checruder on
Speaker 1: a board. I was like, Pam, I love you, but
Speaker 1: I don't, like, can I just go to Whole Foods
Speaker 1: and get like some cookies and throw them on a
Speaker 1: plate like I'm like and be Yet she's making handmade
Speaker 1: pop tarts. So now I just feel even worse about myself.
Speaker 1: It's really this is a crazy season anyways, I feel like,
Speaker 1: but I think we just have to do what we
Speaker 1: can do within our means and boundaries, right, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: Taylor is more than generous, which I also wonder you know,
Speaker 1: like you and I really always believe in like the
Speaker 1: more you give, the more you get cheerful giver. That's
Speaker 1: biblical but I also like wonder if that is why
Speaker 1: she's so wildly successful, because she's always kept herself grounded
Speaker 1: and gracious and gives back so much. I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, what goes around comes round. I mean, we're
Speaker 1: like literally living in history watching Taylor Swift. It's wild
Speaker 1: to think. I wonder. I'm like, who's going to be
Speaker 1: the next generation for our kids? You know, like who
Speaker 1: would are they even born yet? I don't know? Isn't
Speaker 1: that wild? Yeah? Are they in somebody's belly right now?
Speaker 1: That's what would be the next I mean, because who
Speaker 1: would Taylor Swift be for our era? Britney? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was thinking Brittany or Whitney. Yeah, Whitney. Wow. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean I guess so. But even then,
Speaker 1: but even then it wasn't to that scale. No, I mean,
Speaker 1: this is of another proportion. Yeah, it's crazy the amount
Speaker 1: of semi trucks. I mean just even the amount of
Speaker 1: like lights and staging, and it's it is literally history.
Speaker 1: Love would Love is a very big swiftye and so
Speaker 1: it is her goal to be out on that Eras
Speaker 1: tour somehow, and I just couldn't do it. It's I
Speaker 1: felt like even to get tickets was so crazy, even
Speaker 1: if you could afford them, to get them, the actual
Speaker 1: like process of attaining them, it's kind of crazy. You
Speaker 1: can now buy a car on Amazon? What? What is happening?
Speaker 1: What is happening? I can't wait. It's moments like this
Speaker 1: where we talk about stuff that I go ten years
Speaker 1: from now. You can now buy a Hyunday. You know how?
Speaker 1: I know how to say Hyundai, not high Unday because
Speaker 1: it's Hyundai like Sunday. Oh, I never knew on Amazon.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. Starting today, Amazon car shoppers in forty eight
Speaker 1: cities New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Wow, and buy a Hyundai. Interesting?
Speaker 1: Would you do that? No? Would you? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't buy a Hundai. That's no offense to anyone.
Speaker 1: But I'm a I'm a Ford chick. So but I
Speaker 1: if I could buy a Forward on Amazon, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen if I'm bawling out of control and
Speaker 1: I can just like add to cart I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's something about I still am. I think I'm just
Speaker 1: getting old. Yeah, but like I'm just such an old
Speaker 1: school show. I love a testimonial, I love face to face.
Speaker 1: I want to know that I can trust the guy
Speaker 1: that sold it to me or the woman that's helping
Speaker 1: me pick it out, or like trust a sales I
Speaker 1: don't know. I did find one that I feel like
Speaker 1: one recently because I'm car shopping at the moment. What
Speaker 1: do you want to get? I just want to get
Speaker 1: out of my jeep? Do you want a third row? No?
Speaker 1: I have a third row? Oh yeah? And I don't
Speaker 1: like it? Is it too tiny? Everything's too tiny except
Speaker 1: for what a Stottish man you marriage? Yeah? I feel
Speaker 1: that way. You know, it's wild. We got an expedition
Speaker 1: and I thought for sure that's gonna be way big enough.
Speaker 1: Like Preston and I are very small people like we
Speaker 1: are Teacup Yorkis and so like everybody we make is
Speaker 1: pretty tiny. So far too, and I'm like, why does
Speaker 1: everybody need these huge vehicles? And then I get an
Speaker 1: expedition which is huge and I love it, but they're
Speaker 1: still not in the strong space never so now what
Speaker 1: I have to get? The big expo? Long? You're basically
Speaker 1: driving a boat. It is about and it's still not
Speaker 1: like I don't know what to do with that. So
Speaker 1: does the perfect vehicle exist? That's my question. People love
Speaker 1: their minivans, and I know they do, but it's not
Speaker 1: high en, up, high and up enough for me. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I agree with you and that I like to feel
Speaker 1: a little bit higher up. Though the built in vacuum
Speaker 1: did have me clicking around for a minute. If you
Speaker 1: know my personality, can we do a Christmas check in
Speaker 1: really fast? How are you feeling about the holidays? Your
Speaker 1: husband will be back from traveling, You'll have some more
Speaker 1: time with him. Have you figured out the holiday plans?
Speaker 1: What are you looking forward to? What are you stressed about?
Speaker 1: I am trying to decide how much I'd like to share. Well,
Speaker 1: because the other day I set you a good song.
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you want a good cry, I just
Speaker 1: it's like I had, And you're like, we're scheduling a cry,
Speaker 1: schedule a cry for this afternoon. I would say I
Speaker 1: adore Christmas season so much like Christmas and Easter are
Speaker 1: so special to me. I think the air is different.
Speaker 1: I think there's something really cool that comes over us
Speaker 1: and I feel this pull and I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of it is not about this, It's not Jesus
Speaker 1: is the reason for the season. Kind of feel and
Speaker 1: that's where I get. I gets I get resentful of
Speaker 1: the disconnection that it's trying to do. Like I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm fighting harder than ever to keep that in
Speaker 1: our season, in our home right now. Jesus, yes, just
Speaker 1: like what is this all for? Right? And so I've
Speaker 1: not been It's not been hard for me to say
Speaker 1: no to certain things. That's not it. It's just it's
Speaker 1: this weird like again, we're down to hosting always like
Speaker 1: we want to. You know, he wants his parents to
Speaker 1: come in for the holidays, and it just adds it
Speaker 1: just adds more, and I don't know, I have not
Speaker 1: found the sweet spot. I think that's where I get frustrated.
Speaker 1: It will say, I've got started getting them an airbnb
Speaker 1: when they come, so it feels cozy. It feels cozier
Speaker 1: to me than a hotel. But it and it keeps
Speaker 1: them out of our home at night because Preston his
Speaker 1: parents will stay up to like one am talking. I
Speaker 1: love that. That's the one part I wish, but like
Speaker 1: he can go with them and go do that there.
Speaker 1: But it gives us like quiet nights and slow mornings
Speaker 1: and still I'm hosting all of those days that they're there,
Speaker 1: so I just don't know. So the plan is Preston
Speaker 1: comes off the road. I host a label and a
Speaker 1: band already at our home, which I've already decided will
Speaker 1: never happen again. It's sweet and I love the idea
Speaker 1: of it, but ultimately, like, I just have little kids.
Speaker 1: There's a baby that needs to go to sleep by
Speaker 1: eight if I'm pushing it. Huh. I know, I know
Speaker 1: seven's my preference right now. But I also was like,
Speaker 1: I can be flexible, but it's still just so. I
Speaker 1: guess I have a hard time, and I've fought this
Speaker 1: for a long time. I'm open to anything you have
Speaker 1: to say, because I feel like you and I usually
Speaker 1: are always on the same page. But I want to
Speaker 1: have more of a hosting heart. I do think I
Speaker 1: have one when it's certain people and I feel a
Speaker 1: little on christ like in my hosting when I start
Speaker 1: to feel resentment, But then I shame myself for feeling
Speaker 1: resentful when it's probably just fair to feel that way. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's fair. But I think you also just want peace
Speaker 1: and your husband. I just desperately want my husband. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's been the biggest thing, Like he's just been gone
Speaker 1: so much, and I you know, but it's also tricky,
Speaker 1: like the people that actually are responsible for creating him
Speaker 1: probably would love to see him too. I think it's
Speaker 1: just hard because I think people have an idea of
Speaker 1: what they think our life is like, but I don't
Speaker 1: think people know how much he's really gone. And the
Speaker 1: differences I noticed in our kids needing him a little consistency,
Speaker 1: even if it's just for like a week and a half.
Speaker 1: And so Sarah Brice gave me advice. I had them
Speaker 1: coming in after Christmas, and Sarah said, I want you
Speaker 1: to just think about having them before, so that say,
Speaker 1: by the twentieth you know, you have you don't have
Speaker 1: to keep wondering like that doesn't have to be open
Speaker 1: in your brain, right. So that's what we're doing. Okay, good, Yeah, fabulous,
Speaker 1: we'll see you know. I'm i gotta say, I'm I
Speaker 1: think that's a good idea. I'm I'm I'm struggling on
Speaker 1: what to do this year. You guys stay here. We're
Speaker 1: staying here because Alan green card process man, trying to
Speaker 1: do it the legal way is really tough. Oh man,
Speaker 1: It's been really difficult with his green card process because
Speaker 1: he's not allowed to leave the country and for a
Speaker 1: certain amount of days until he gets you know, his
Speaker 1: travel authorization. But you know, applying for the green card
Speaker 1: has just been I mean, he's had the medical I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's just been a lot, and it's it's frustrating
Speaker 1: when you see other people do it illegally, Yeah, when
Speaker 1: you're trying to do it the right way. And now
Speaker 1: he like, obviously we can't travel or he can't travel
Speaker 1: out of the country, which is challenging. But the last
Speaker 1: time I didn't have the kids for Christmas Eve night
Speaker 1: was when I flew to see Alan in London. So
Speaker 1: and then I had Christmas the next day, Like I had,
Speaker 1: I flew home on Christmas Eve because that was the
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve that I was dreading of not seeing. That
Speaker 1: was the first year of ever and like not having
Speaker 1: my kids on Christmas Eve night, and so you know,
Speaker 1: I decided, all right, I'm gonna fly to London to
Speaker 1: see Alan, and I'll fly back on Christmas Eve night
Speaker 1: and then I'll get them noon on Christmas. But that
Speaker 1: was going to be our Christmas Eve, so I would
Speaker 1: still have our what you know, quote Christmas Eve. And
Speaker 1: then the next day was you know, the day after
Speaker 1: Christmas was our Christmas and so and that's like when
Speaker 1: me and my ex thought about it, because he's like,
Speaker 1: you can't change Christmas. And I'm like, you can't tell
Speaker 1: me what to do. You can't change your life, but
Speaker 1: you did, and so yeah, but this year now we
Speaker 1: have a baby together and obviously Roman doesn't know the day.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I can't change Christmas again this
Speaker 1: year so that you don't have the kids Christmas Eve. No,
Speaker 1: And I'm already starting to be like depressed about it because,
Speaker 1: you know, baking the cookies before Santa comes, and like
Speaker 1: I don't get to do any of that. I don't
Speaker 1: get to make cookies with them. I don't get to
Speaker 1: leave out the note the night before, I don't get
Speaker 1: to leave out you know, the carrots for the reindeer,
Speaker 1: put the reindeer food out, Like I don't get to
Speaker 1: do any of that. If I don't have a Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve night? Can you go do that? There? That feels
Speaker 1: not good to me. Okay, that feels more like anytime
Speaker 1: I still go to have to pick up the kids
Speaker 1: from his house. I don't like it. I wouldn't like
Speaker 1: it either. It feels no matter how many years removed,
Speaker 1: so happy. I don't like picking my kids up there.
Speaker 1: I don't like being it. It's just it. I just
Speaker 1: I don't like it. Yeah, that's okay, that's fair. Like
Speaker 1: he makes himself welcome in cozy here, I don't step
Speaker 1: inside his place, you know, I don't like it. I
Speaker 1: don't like to. I don't want to. I just don't
Speaker 1: like it. Yeah, that's okay. I was just trying on
Speaker 1: our options because I do sure, but like also, those
Speaker 1: are his memories. I wouldn't invite him to do that
Speaker 1: here with us. As much as I have tried to
Speaker 1: make a great situation for everyone and invite him to
Speaker 1: parties and do this, that and the other, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want him here on our family nights decorating cookies.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't ask him for me to do that.
Speaker 1: The only thing I did ask and he hasn't responded,
Speaker 1: of course, is church, because church is important to me
Speaker 1: to go on Christmas Eve, and so I asked him,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, what service are you gonna are we
Speaker 1: going to? Basically, yeah, the three or the five? Yeah
Speaker 1: that's great, but I don't know. He hasn't responded, So
Speaker 1: could you double Christmas again, But how do I do
Speaker 1: that now that because it's Jolie is now at an
Speaker 1: age too where I remember how I said, she asked, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I don't know how I could do that post.
Speaker 1: So next year I'll obviously have them again on Christmas Eve,
Speaker 1: which will be fine, and then after that then Jolie
Speaker 1: probably won't believe Jace might not either, and then just
Speaker 1: probably do Christmas. I don't I know, then it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be writing to Sannah, but this would probably be the
Speaker 1: last year that Jolie is going to be all in
Speaker 1: all in writing to Sannah. I don't know, Well next
Speaker 1: year maybe, like I'm gonna hopefully next year, but the
Speaker 1: man getting running tight tea is getting harder than ever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know in the guest room closet, my lord, don't
Speaker 1: don't go in there. Yeah. I'm also like, don't don't
Speaker 1: touch my phone, don't look at me into like the
Speaker 1: Amazon alert comes through and I'm like, ohnness a year. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I do wonder if you could do
Speaker 1: pre Christmas Eve with Roman and then you still make
Speaker 1: it well because Roman's young enough that I don't think
Speaker 1: it matters, like we could have Christmas morning, Alan and
Speaker 1: I and Roman on Christmas Day? Oh no, is that weird? No,
Speaker 1: that would be weird. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: How I do what if you were? Do you think
Speaker 1: Santa swoops back around? M do you think he's hoops
Speaker 1: back around he did two years ago? Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what I mean, what
Speaker 1: other options would I have? I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know. I need to really think about. I
Speaker 1: forgot for a minute we're recording that happens to me.
Speaker 1: It's not entertaining for me to think in brainstorm. I
Speaker 1: just there has to be I'm such a will there's
Speaker 1: a way girl. Yeah. So I just do want to
Speaker 1: miss those unless i'm you know, we bake cookies. I mean,
Speaker 1: it would essentially just be this this, this is the
Speaker 1: last weekend I have them before, you know, Christmas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's where I just get That's where I just get angry.
Speaker 1: I love my life. I love obviously Roman, and I
Speaker 1: would never wish to ever still be in that marriage
Speaker 1: ever or be married to that man. But I that
Speaker 1: makes do sorry. But I miss the I miss the
Speaker 1: family aspect of my I miss my I don't want
Speaker 1: my kids leaving all the time. I don't like that,
Speaker 1: and I will always dislike him for him for that
Speaker 1: being the really the reason did he ever give you
Speaker 1: it to you back? Would he ever give you Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve back? Never because he loves it so much or
Speaker 1: because that would be giving you something? Because I believe
Speaker 1: he deserves it too. And when we got divorced, I
Speaker 1: was like, you will never get a Christmas And he's like,
Speaker 1: that's not fair, and I'm like it is and it
Speaker 1: is fair actually, But actions that have gone consistence, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just yeah, we're going to figure something out though
Speaker 1: there has to be something, something magical can still exist.
Speaker 1: You get them on Christmas Day, please DM me because
Speaker 1: I just don't know. I get them back Christmas Day
Speaker 1: at noon. So what if what if you the minute
Speaker 1: you get them, the cookies go up. What if he's
Speaker 1: still making his rounds. What if he hasn't just gotten
Speaker 1: to this house yet? You get Dada's house in the morning,
Speaker 1: but then he can the cookies go out at noon?
Speaker 1: Can something happen? So like I pick up the kids? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like do you need do you need magic people to
Speaker 1: come to your Like? Can y'all go go somewhere and
Speaker 1: when you come home, where'd we go on Christmas Day?
Speaker 1: You want to go drive and look at lights or something.
Speaker 1: And by the time you come home, your friends that
Speaker 1: love you very much have been in here setting up
Speaker 1: the gifts that you have so appropriately wrapped in the
Speaker 1: guest room closet. No that I'm going to hire someone
Speaker 1: to wrap because I hate wrapping breaths. Oh I love
Speaker 1: rapping presents. I wish we weren't. Okay. I love that
Speaker 1: we have kids the same age, but sometimes I wish
Speaker 1: they were just a little different because I feel like
Speaker 1: we would be. We do so well married to each
Speaker 1: other that like I'm like, oh, I got that, we're
Speaker 1: just not in that season yet. I would do it
Speaker 1: for you. But maybe just think about the paper wrapping presents.
Speaker 1: Maybe you guys do your gifts, but the Santa gifts
Speaker 1: don't come until after you look at Christmas lights. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's a very quick thing for me to do. I
Speaker 1: can pop over. You are not coming over on Christmas.
Speaker 1: But this is the magic of Christmas. Like that to me, see,
Speaker 1: this is where none of this makes me feel resentful.
Speaker 1: This is like preserving imagination, making it magical. Being like
Speaker 1: remember the stories and we get to tell on their
Speaker 1: wedding day sometime when Roman and Lyon marry each other.
Speaker 1: But like, well, Liyan tried to call me today, had
Speaker 1: a fun dial She called Ashley. Woldn't do it? Somebody
Speaker 1: was going hello, I was like, what has she done?
Speaker 1: But that, I mean, I feel like that is such
Speaker 1: a cool that would be easy pop over And when
Speaker 1: you guys get back from looking at Christmas lights, maybe
Speaker 1: there's hot cocoa And sorry I was late, xo XO.
Speaker 1: Just the Santa gifts? That's cute. Actually, did we just
Speaker 1: save Christmas? I don't know. That's kind of cute, but
Speaker 1: I'm never I would never want anyone to come do that. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you took that out of it, does it sound
Speaker 1: like a fun plan. It does, But let's see if
Speaker 1: anyone else has any other idea. No ideas are better
Speaker 1: than speaking of There's an article Mom details how she
Speaker 1: handles Christmas with eight kids and why they don't do
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. Do they do in laws? Because that's my
Speaker 1: biggest question. When she used to do Sanda my oldest
Speaker 1: few kids were little, but as they grew and we
Speaker 1: had more kids, we just felt convicted about trying to
Speaker 1: give up the lie. We would lie and then we
Speaker 1: would have to lie again to cover up the lie.
Speaker 1: Put us in a bad position, and as Christians, we
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure our kids had the right focus.
Speaker 1: So I think that's what you're also, you know, talking
Speaker 1: about the I kind of have the wrong focus, the
Speaker 1: focus of why there is Christmas, And yeah, you know, listen,
Speaker 1: I've had to start making kind of like a little
Speaker 1: list in my head of the things that I am
Speaker 1: so lucky to have in my in laws, because they're
Speaker 1: really lovely people. They are. I think they just grew
Speaker 1: up in such a different generation and I think I
Speaker 1: may have been spoiled before with like seeing how other
Speaker 1: people do Christmas. I'll also say this, my grandmother was
Speaker 1: the glue of my family, and when she died, holidays stopped.
Speaker 1: So I had to reframe the other day. This might
Speaker 1: make me emotional. You won't be able to tell, because
Speaker 1: I already sound like I've been crying this whole episode.
Speaker 1: But I had to reframe the other day. I got
Speaker 1: really still because I was just feeling anxious and I
Speaker 1: had just done a podcast talking about like protecting the
Speaker 1: Prince of Peace, like at all costs, And I thought,
Speaker 1: what if I'm the glue, and so I need to
Speaker 1: anchor in the glue, Like what if the person I
Speaker 1: loved the most because she was just my person, what
Speaker 1: if I'm more like her than I was realizing in
Speaker 1: the way that I'm willing to have them come over.
Speaker 1: I think there's some fundamental differences in that, Like when
Speaker 1: we were growing up and this may I'm sure this
Speaker 1: is the same for you, but like aunts and uncles,
Speaker 1: everybody brought something, so just felt like a little bit
Speaker 1: less of a load. And I think that's where I
Speaker 1: get things just start to feel a little like heavy
Speaker 1: for me, is I'm like, okay, I have to feed everyone,
Speaker 1: and I've got these kids, you know, like and Preson's
Speaker 1: usually not home, so I'm just cheering the time. But
Speaker 1: if I'm the glue, that helps me change my perspective
Speaker 1: a little bit, and it makes me feel a little
Speaker 1: like we have a warmhouse, we have all these things,
Speaker 1: we can do it for them. They are thankful I
Speaker 1: don't have the mother in law that comes over and
Speaker 1: like runs a white glove test over my you know,
Speaker 1: to see if it's dusty like she she's so they're
Speaker 1: so grateful. Yeah, so I just need to, Like I
Speaker 1: one of my toxic traits I'm trying to leave in
Speaker 1: this year is I'm really good at over analyzing where
Speaker 1: the bottom can fall out because of the way I
Speaker 1: grew up, and so I prepare myself for that. But
Speaker 1: in that it kind of snuck into all these little
Speaker 1: nooks and crannies in my life where I, like, will
Speaker 1: find the thing that isn't great about something too, and
Speaker 1: then I kind of hyper focus this is not hot,
Speaker 1: I know. So I'm just trying to go like, Okay,
Speaker 1: but if I didn't focus on that, here's all these
Speaker 1: great things about these people, and we can try that
Speaker 1: on after ten years and sea and that's the solutions.
Speaker 1: I like it. You're trying, you know, you're you're the grandma,
Speaker 1: you know, like you're the glue. You're embodying the beauty
Speaker 1: of what she was for you. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. Okay,
Speaker 1: see if it works, tune back in to find out, well,
Speaker 1: that is all the hot topics that I feel comfortable
Speaker 1: to think, because there are some out there whoa the
Speaker 1: world that's crazy like that I don't even know enough
Speaker 1: about to be honest with you, like, I don't think
Speaker 1: the world. Turn on the news and I'll see the
Speaker 1: jay Z things, I'll see the Luigi Luigi and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, my only question with that is we know
Speaker 1: so much about this person, but yet some of the
Speaker 1: other people we still don't have information on and why.
Speaker 1: I just I'm just, I am just I don't understand
Speaker 1: it all. I started watching Black Doves. Have you watched it? No?
Speaker 1: But it's on my list? Oh, it needs to be
Speaker 1: on your list, Rest and fall asleep, And I kept going,
Speaker 1: that's the rule. I broke the rule. Okay, and it
Speaker 1: reminds me a lot of this, Like you think you know,
Speaker 1: but you have no idea. Yeah, yeah, Like I just
Speaker 1: feel like there's so much more and yeah, but I again,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to get into it because I
Speaker 1: have no idea. Literally, I just follow my one account
Speaker 1: that I love that I will not share because I
Speaker 1: have one account too. She seems right down the carl
Speaker 1: and I like her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyways, and that's
Speaker 1: us not talking about those hot topics. She's a house
Speaker 1: and a habit. I don't know. Oh, mine's a smart
Speaker 1: her news Okay, have you ever seen her? No, she's
Speaker 1: really great. She's a retired news reporter. She took herself
Speaker 1: out of the game because she just felt like it
Speaker 1: was not it's down the middle as it needed to be,
Speaker 1: and you could literally be like she she is right
Speaker 1: down the middle. It's actually what news is supposed to be.
Speaker 1: I would love the Nay, I'm gonna have to. I
Speaker 1: like following counts like that. You'll like her a lot,
Speaker 1: I think, well, on that point, on that news, on
Speaker 1: that news, I'm gonna go wrap some presents. See you
Speaker 1: next week. I love you. Bye bye,