Speaker 1: Hoping, and we talk back where we encourage you to
Speaker 1: hustle hard, laugh louder, and always.
Speaker 2: Keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown.
Speaker 1: Because it's about to go down.
Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 2: talks back.
Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j holiday. What's hey, y'all?
Speaker 2: I'm so happy?
Speaker 1: What the fuck was that right?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, hey, y'all. I love y'all so very much.
Speaker 1: Geeking out right quick?
Speaker 2: I thought it was happening. I'm so happy. I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's all right, y'all. I got all my
Speaker 2: weave out and I got two balls and it just
Speaker 2: makes me feel so youthful and just full of life
Speaker 2: or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Interesting my edges. Look, are you gonna get you some
Speaker 1: rolls oil?
Speaker 2: They're growing back now.
Speaker 1: We got out here, I was like, bitch, you got
Speaker 1: your real hair out? I hear that.
Speaker 2: What was smooth right there? It's some hair you.
Speaker 1: Got the ad just flourishing for the summer.
Speaker 2: Don't play with me. Don't play with me.
Speaker 1: I should have gotten me some braids. I just don't
Speaker 1: feel like putting them in and taking them out though
Speaker 1: it's just a whole process.
Speaker 2: Yes, but the in between time is so glorious.
Speaker 1: Because I be in yoga with a fucking wig scarf on.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be wigging for the gym now there's a
Speaker 1: wig scarf. When I tell y'all, y'all, fuck that gym. Shit. Man,
Speaker 1: I think I'm about to just only do hot yoga
Speaker 1: because when I tell y'all, I burn way more calories
Speaker 1: than forty five minutes, and hot yoga like six hundred
Speaker 1: calories and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: I can't do nothing hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you damn. They can't breathe in that bitch. But
Speaker 1: and I be right in there like tussling and do
Speaker 1: all them positions. Hiah looking stupid. I already know.
Speaker 2: That's how everybody looks stupid when they start.
Speaker 1: But my hip hurt a little bit today. But see that.
Speaker 1: The thing is, I need this fucking stretch more.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm on day fifty eight of my seventy five
Speaker 2: hart and I look at the beginning pictures and the
Speaker 2: pictures now and I can tell, like my face, like
Speaker 2: I can see my body is changing. But I don't
Speaker 2: know why I thought that I would be looking like
Speaker 2: Billy Blanks by now, and I don't you know, So
Speaker 2: I just knew by the time I got to sixty,
Speaker 2: I was gonna be ripped up. But that's not how
Speaker 2: it worked. Like the training was like, I mean, this
Speaker 2: is seventy five days.
Speaker 1: It's good, but these not good results.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I got I got good results. But I
Speaker 2: just thought I was gonna look like I don't know
Speaker 2: what I thought. I just thought, yeah, by the time
Speaker 2: I get to sixty, are.
Speaker 1: You doing like creatine and stuff like that, because I
Speaker 1: put creatine into my little regimen. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I know I don't eat enough protein though.
Speaker 2: Bro. That's that has been like the hardest part for me,
Speaker 2: outside of drinking all that water every day. The protein
Speaker 2: I've been doing. Like I found these muffins called Bootylicious muffins,
Speaker 2: and they're low calorie, low carb. They taste yeah, and
Speaker 2: they taste nice, and they got twenty five grams of protein.
Speaker 2: It comes like in a powder form and you gotta
Speaker 2: add water or milk or whatever, and I just add
Speaker 2: protein shake as my milk to it. And they're actually good.
Speaker 2: So I have those in the morning.
Speaker 1: You gotta bake them, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 2: The microwave cause like a little cup, like a noodle cup,
Speaker 2: and you just mix it with your water or whatever
Speaker 2: you want to put in it. And they put in
Speaker 2: the microwave for a minute fifteen seconds and it's a
Speaker 2: little muffin in a pot and it's so good. And
Speaker 2: I have that with my black coffee in the morning.
Speaker 1: Nice. And that's I just had two eggs this morning.
Speaker 1: I don't eat enough, man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I realized. You're supposed to have a
Speaker 2: grammar protein for every pound in your body. Who are
Speaker 2: you eating that much protein in a day?
Speaker 1: And then because I don't eat meat, like it's hard,
Speaker 1: Like I'm tied of salmon. I don't eat when salmon
Speaker 1: tay's weird nowadays. So I bought like a big ass
Speaker 1: from Costco. I bought like a big ass box of
Speaker 1: lobster tails for like two hundred dollars. It was like
Speaker 1: twenty lobster tails, like the big ones too. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it was gonna sell Mother's Day weekend, So I bought.
Speaker 1: So I beat lobster tails scallos. I made a little
Speaker 1: fry loft sale. That's girl's imagine like if you go
Speaker 1: to a restaurant and got a lobster dinner. How much
Speaker 1: that's gonna cost you. It's gonna be two hundred dollars
Speaker 1: for that want meal you and somebody else. So I
Speaker 1: got a whole box of them. That is actually not rich,
Speaker 1: that's rich broke.
Speaker 2: Well, that's that's actually really good. And I noticed that
Speaker 2: you've been back to Costco, but you haven't mentioned my candle.
Speaker 1: But they don't have them no more. They're gone. I
Speaker 1: didn't see them when I went back in there.
Speaker 2: I wanted that really badly.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you know, I would have had to win
Speaker 1: the very next day that we talked about it, and
Speaker 1: I didn't, you know, But you should be able to
Speaker 1: order it online. I'll give you my Costco account and
Speaker 1: you could order it to your house online. Anything that
Speaker 1: you see that you might want, usually it's on the
Speaker 1: Costco website. Then that way you could just ship that
Speaker 1: ship to your house without stepping foot in the Costco.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's cool. I also wanted you to buy it,
Speaker 2: but it's okay. I'll just.
Speaker 1: Girl, where the fuck was I putting that that thing was?
Speaker 1: That thing is the size of a waste basket for
Speaker 1: a bathroom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so big. I love it.
Speaker 1: You gotta be careful with candles because a lot of
Speaker 1: them shit toxic. Man, you want a big, big, stupid
Speaker 1: ass toxic can do in your house.
Speaker 2: I want that. I want that toxic shit in the house.
Speaker 2: I want that candle.
Speaker 1: I was your weekend. I ain't do much this past weekend.
Speaker 2: My weekend I hit. I hit a wall this weekend, Auntie,
Speaker 2: you is tired. I could do no more. I could
Speaker 2: do no more. I just had to rest. I had to.
Speaker 2: I mean I did my works but like I literally
Speaker 2: did my workouts and got in the bed. That was it.
Speaker 1: I mean I went to m hmm, that'd be fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I did enjoy laying in the bed all day.
Speaker 2: Like on Sunday, I did my workout and then I
Speaker 2: got back in the bed. I tried to go. I
Speaker 2: was trying. I was supposed to go to New York.
Speaker 2: It didn't work out, but God said, lay down, and
Speaker 2: that's what I did. Shout out to Taylor. Taylor had
Speaker 2: her baby shower Sunday. I missed it. I sent her
Speaker 2: some nice things. I literally I'm broke right down, because stop.
Speaker 1: Saying you broke girl. In between blessings and bitch ain't
Speaker 1: never broke.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm in between blessings cuz five bitches, I never
Speaker 2: had baby showers this week. That's five hundred dollars gone,
Speaker 2: just buying everybody some shit, trying to you know, trying
Speaker 2: to bless everybody baby. And I just pray over that money.
Speaker 2: When I spend it on y'all day, it comes back
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 1: You're not spending it, You're circulating it. You see. Gotta
Speaker 1: chose those words wisely so the money can come back.
Speaker 1: So you circulated the money and bought the gifts, and
Speaker 1: it's coming right back around.
Speaker 2: Why I've been fucking.
Speaker 1: We ain't even fucking enough, because where's my goddamn baby, y'all?
Speaker 1: My birthday Sunday? Where is my baby?
Speaker 2: And then you don't never have no birthday party. I'm
Speaker 2: sick of you.
Speaker 1: I don't because it's like, listen, I like to celebrate.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of sick of America. Maybe if I maybe
Speaker 1: I could plan a trip for real, like I wanted
Speaker 1: to do a solo trip. And I didn't even execute
Speaker 1: on that shit.
Speaker 2: Okay, you bullshit it on that.
Speaker 1: I know I did. And now I'm like I don't
Speaker 1: want to spend that type of I wanted to go
Speaker 1: to Barbados, and I don't want to spend that type
Speaker 1: of money on the fucking flight now. And I only
Speaker 1: can go for like a couple of days, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to go for the whole fucking week, pack
Speaker 1: the fucking cat up and be out.
Speaker 2: Well, why you can't, Why you can't.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do something because I do want to definitely be on
Speaker 1: the beach this weekend. So I'm gonna figure it out
Speaker 1: last minute, hop in the car or the plane and
Speaker 1: get out of here for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do it.
Speaker 1: I want to figure it out. I am making me
Speaker 1: some fairy wings. Now what I heard recently, okay, because
Speaker 1: what I did do this weekend is bought some fucking furnitures,
Speaker 1: some new furniture. And one of my homegirls, who uh
Speaker 1: picked the chairs up I needed, she helped me with
Speaker 1: her truck. As she was leaving, I told her I
Speaker 1: was making fairy wings. So I did arts and craft
Speaker 1: this weekend and she told me, did you know, like
Speaker 1: the fairy shit is like another word for prostitution. I'm
Speaker 1: disgusted with you niggas. What How the fuck would y'all
Speaker 1: pervert fairies? Yes, they're saying fair I googled it. It's
Speaker 1: saying like fairy if if a woman says she's a fairy,
Speaker 1: that's like a cold word for selling pussy.
Speaker 2: Damn not tinker Bell being out here selling ass the
Speaker 2: whole time and we ain't even know.
Speaker 1: I am so sick of niggas, man Like, why do
Speaker 1: we pervert everything? Why we make everything positive and magical?
Speaker 1: Like as negative as possible? You know, why does that happen?
Speaker 2: I was so disgusted I ain't gonna lie. I need
Speaker 2: to eat lunch because when you said fair wings, I
Speaker 2: thought she was making.
Speaker 1: Some fair wing. How you like low gold dust like
Speaker 1: low goal uh oh, sweet sour sauce, like some little
Speaker 1: gold flakes or something like that lemon pepper shame. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I didn't do much this weekend. I did hot
Speaker 1: yogat and made some fucking fairy wings. That's it.
Speaker 2: Let's get this.
Speaker 1: So, y'all, this is this is so for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know how y'all feel, but it says a
Speaker 1: new study. I don't know how I knew it is
Speaker 1: but it says new study shows women find men sixty
Speaker 1: percent more attractive if he can do manly task like
Speaker 1: mow the yard, fix the car, and pick her up
Speaker 1: and then use the imagery from a baby boy you
Speaker 1: remember his mama with ben Rhyme's getting picked up in
Speaker 1: that kitchen. Yes, live okay, it's so funny to find
Speaker 1: you know. Did you ever see the video? I think
Speaker 1: she was on a breakfast club. I can't remember. I
Speaker 1: think she was a breakfast club. AJ. She said that
Speaker 1: she did like a threesome for her fiftieth birthday, but
Speaker 1: it was actually with two men. I mean that's a threesome.
Speaker 2: Some people may consider it a train but she said, yeah,
Speaker 2: is it a It's only a threesome if they distouched right?
Speaker 1: Why because they like by at that point?
Speaker 2: No, because I thought everybody's having sexual with everybody.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought. So too, that's what I thought.
Speaker 1: But anyway over here, unlet's just pp So it's a
Speaker 1: steady show. Women find men up to sixty percent more
Speaker 1: attractive when they can do manly tasks like change the oil,
Speaker 1: chop wood more lawn, carry her with ease or drop
Speaker 1: and do push ups. It's not just man chocolate, some wood,
Speaker 1: me too. It's not just the muscles, it's the competence
Speaker 1: fixing things, lifting, heavy handling business without calling for help.
Speaker 1: And in a world of soft talkers and filters, being
Speaker 1: hands on is the new sexy. I've always been like,
Speaker 1: I like dirty niggas, like I like mechanics. I like
Speaker 1: fucking truck drivers. I like niggas who could build me
Speaker 1: a house. Definitely niggas who chop wood. Those are my
Speaker 1: kind of guys.
Speaker 2: It's this nigga on Instagram. He got that curly hair,
Speaker 2: brown skin, and he'd be out there chopping wood.
Speaker 1: Fine nigga be eating that fucking watermelon face. Yes, yes, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: we like that, like you know, a.
Speaker 2: New study that shit always been training.
Speaker 1: I don't think we women don't end up with these
Speaker 1: type of guys, though, you know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: either end up with somebody you gotta do all the things,
Speaker 1: or maybe he has the finances to pay for somebody
Speaker 1: to do the things. But I really I like to
Speaker 1: do things even if I have the money, Like I
Speaker 1: don't want to spend it on certain things that I
Speaker 1: can read a book and figure out, or watch YouTube
Speaker 1: and figure it out, so bitch be undereath the hood
Speaker 1: of the car and all the things. And I like
Speaker 1: men who do that, who do those same type of
Speaker 1: things like I like, I like problem solvers. I like uh, troubleshooters.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I don't like I'm not getting under no car. I'll
Speaker 2: change a tire if I have to, and there's no
Speaker 2: cars passing by, and I can't just put a leg
Speaker 2: out into the street.
Speaker 1: But I just feel accomplished when I do things, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I like taking it apart and
Speaker 1: putting it back together. That's just what I like.
Speaker 2: So I like somebody who can compliment that type activity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My ex girldmama was like, don't dumping yet. I need
Speaker 1: him to finish the towel in my kitchen. We did
Speaker 1: that Chile bitch in the kitchen, and not immediately, so
Speaker 1: if you're listening, you know that. Really we were just laughing,
Speaker 1: me and my mama, You're bestie, was just laughing and
Speaker 1: joking and playing right. But shortly thereafter, yes, bitch, I
Speaker 1: didn't after I got her Chile.
Speaker 2: So cam Brian had the exotic dancer that was a
Speaker 2: part of the Cassie and Diddy case. That black man
Speaker 2: came out with the book Freezer Meat, and he proceeds
Speaker 2: to ask him was the pussy good? Like let us
Speaker 2: know how to put what the pussy was hitting for?
Speaker 2: And I thought that was so crash and just ugh.
Speaker 2: But then at the same time, I was like, I
Speaker 2: might have wanted to know, nasty. No, I don't want
Speaker 2: to know if Cassie pussy is good about Cassie's vagina.
Speaker 2: But I mean, I'm just thinking about how like I
Speaker 2: talked with my friends. They tell me they had, you know,
Speaker 2: fun over the weekend. I might want it to be
Speaker 2: like what that they care for?
Speaker 1: You send me a video?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I get why he might have asked that,
Speaker 2: but she is also a victim, and it's very public,
Speaker 2: and it just seemed very inappropriate to ask that man
Speaker 2: at And he didn't even answer the question. Basically, he
Speaker 2: was like, I don't I couldn't even tell you because
Speaker 2: I just wasn't in it, Like I was very concerned
Speaker 2: with my sexuality being tested by Diddy the whole time.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just about him saying it on like
Speaker 1: a public platform, because I mean, of course we have
Speaker 1: these d these conversations, and you know, there's really no
Speaker 1: man that believes that Cassie is a victim. Unfortunately a
Speaker 1: very small percentage, and they're probably from our gay community.
Speaker 1: Regular heterosexual men feel like Cassie got what she deserved.
Speaker 1: Cassie was doing all the things because she wanted to
Speaker 1: do it. Cassie was a willing participant. A lot of
Speaker 1: them don't see the abuse part, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They don't see the coaching, the grooming, they don't see it.
Speaker 1: They just you know, she signed up for that shit.
Speaker 1: That's really how they feel. So that's why.
Speaker 2: Cameron can get on the fucking podcast and asks, what's
Speaker 2: the plessy good?
Speaker 1: That is so disgusting? He get, oh my goddamn nerve,
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck happened to his airline? He was like,
Speaker 1: it just got so like he didn't get a new barber,
Speaker 1: that nigga. That shit that got pushbacks. It like a
Speaker 1: half moon. It like the moon right now, dog Crescent.
Speaker 2: It was just inappropriate. It was a valid question that
Speaker 2: I feel like men ask each other all the time.
Speaker 2: But it just was you got to read the room,
Speaker 2: you know, you gotta read the room, and that just
Speaker 2: was not nice or nobody wanted to hear that. Regarding
Speaker 2: this situation, I.
Speaker 1: Think, yeah, I could have lived without it, because you
Speaker 1: sent me that post and all I said was ill.
Speaker 2: I said yuck when I got it, when I it
Speaker 2: was sent to me, it just.
Speaker 1: Was like, you said that out loud, growing ass, fucking
Speaker 1: fifty old nigga. Shut up anyway, You're too.
Speaker 2: Old to be just behaving that way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So so. Glorilla recently changed her profile picture to
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson after the nose job allegations.
Speaker 2: It ain't allegation, she said she did.
Speaker 1: Yeah she did, and it clearly looks like she got
Speaker 1: a nose job. I don't know how you feel about that.
Speaker 1: What do they call it? Rhinoplasty.
Speaker 2: I'm an advocate of do whatever makes you happy. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I liked her own nose, but it's about her liking
Speaker 2: her nose. So if she liked a new nose, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm here for it. I don't have no but they
Speaker 2: eating her up because people are not happy with her nose.
Speaker 2: You know, people are not liking the nose. And then
Speaker 2: another girl I can't remember who got there is done.
Speaker 2: They was like, you gotta let that nose sit a
Speaker 2: little while for to heal and take it the actual
Speaker 2: point it says it takes like a year usually. So yeah,
Speaker 2: do you think made.
Speaker 1: Sallion and got her nose done? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Her does does look different?
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people, I mean, Beyonce clearly
Speaker 1: has a nose job. A lot of people there. Most
Speaker 1: people I believe probably got this type of work done.
Speaker 1: We know Cardi B got a nose job. Mary J.
Speaker 1: Blige got to know his job. Look, Kim got a
Speaker 1: million those jobs. Like most people in the industry, they
Speaker 1: end up.
Speaker 2: Removing their daddy's noses, Like this is my daddy knows
Speaker 2: I want and it's wide and.
Speaker 1: Girl, my nose big as a motherfucker. This is my daddy.
Speaker 1: Daddy knows all day long, and I'm gonna keep it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is my nigga knows and I love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can put enough makeup on it. You could
Speaker 1: put like some contouring on it.
Speaker 2: You wanted to have a point, you can contour it.
Speaker 2: But I don't even care about that. It's these titties.
Speaker 2: I want to do something. That's why I got no
Speaker 2: judging for nobody that if I go on a vacation,
Speaker 2: doing that suction thing to my titties. You know what I'm
Speaker 2: talking about?
Speaker 1: Yo, may do the booty. Yeah, that's gonna look crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it. It's probably be bruised up the
Speaker 2: whole vacate these bruised.
Speaker 1: And the last night of vacation, your titty is gonna
Speaker 1: be gone. Wait a minute, motherfuckers.
Speaker 2: Again, put your right here real hard so they can swell.
Speaker 1: Look lead them teddies alone the ship that we be
Speaker 1: worrying about, Like, men do not give a fuck. They
Speaker 1: don't so I know it right under. I know we
Speaker 1: say it's for us, right half the things we do?
Speaker 1: Is it really though? Yes?
Speaker 2: For us?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, because niggas don't care.
Speaker 2: I told you he's second laid back and he's.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Good luck with her in her nose,
Speaker 1: like I mean, she's a pretty girl regardless, Like Glorilla
Speaker 1: is really a pretty girl in person. She got like
Speaker 1: a little distinct unique look, but she's a pretty girl.
Speaker 2: She looked like principal Hogh Tower to me. I don't
Speaker 2: know her really with her she was beautiful, like that's
Speaker 2: her kid or something, right, Yeah, she could have very
Speaker 2: well been her daughter mm hm.
Speaker 1: Anyway, shout out to the new noses hid y'all have
Speaker 1: fun with that, y'all. So today we want to talk
Speaker 1: about clinical thinking, not to be confused with critical thinking. Okay,
Speaker 1: so what's that you ask. It's more of a way
Speaker 1: of thinking. It's more of a way of thinking that
Speaker 1: blends intuition, emotional intelligence, wisdom, and basically like lived experience.
Speaker 1: It's that fucking gut feeling you know that women have. Right,
Speaker 1: it's clinical thinking that we're using. So it's like logic
Speaker 1: with a libido. Basically, I can't wait to get We'll
Speaker 1: be back, all right, y'all. So we're back and we're
Speaker 1: talking clinical thinking today, right, So that survives gut feelings,
Speaker 1: like the feminine intuition that not everybody has, and a
Speaker 1: lot of times we don't even be following our shit,
Speaker 1: but it's a real thing. You know, how you do
Speaker 1: some shit and be like you know what I knew?
Speaker 1: I knew better, or like you think something about somebody
Speaker 1: and you're like, man, I knew this niggame and shit,
Speaker 1: and you still you you ignored your clitical thinking skills.
Speaker 2: Basically, So sometimes that clitical thinking can have you think
Speaker 2: it wrong too.
Speaker 1: I don't think so my clitical thinking be on point.
Speaker 1: It may not. It may not.
Speaker 2: Like at the very moment when you some shit happen,
Speaker 2: you think back and be like, hmm, I was right.
Speaker 1: I'd be fucking knowing.
Speaker 2: Sometimes my clitterist has led me a strength. He didn't
Speaker 2: do it. He's innocent because I love the nigga so much.
Speaker 2: He did that shit. He did that shit.
Speaker 1: I think that's your heart. You might have been thinking.
Speaker 1: It wasn't the gut feeling.
Speaker 2: It wasn't the gut, it was my glitteriest.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe you need to tune yours out. Yours might
Speaker 1: not be all I mean, yours might not be on completely.
Speaker 2: Love struck and love struck by somebody that you kind
Speaker 2: of like, don't pay attention to logic and reason.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, but you thought it though, right, So
Speaker 1: your clitical thinking kicked in. But then I think my.
Speaker 2: Critical thinking kicked in. But my clitical thinking.
Speaker 1: No, the clinical thinking ain't gonna never like lead you wrong.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. It's your heart and your mind
Speaker 1: that be fucking you up. The clinical thinking is that.
Speaker 2: I need out of the equation. I probably would have
Speaker 2: kept my good sense.
Speaker 1: So what is a clinical thinker? One might ask, Right,
Speaker 1: So it's something in my spirit that says the same, right,
Speaker 1: and that's enough. That's all I really need. Right, boundaries
Speaker 1: are just not up for debate. I don't need no
Speaker 1: more information I need. I know exactly what's happening. And
Speaker 1: I picked up on it before you even put it down.
Speaker 1: Like that's essentially what clitical thinking is. So it kind
Speaker 1: of can be compared to like girl math a little bit. Right,
Speaker 1: So the things that make sense to women that don't
Speaker 1: make sense to men, because I don't think that men
Speaker 1: think as deep as women do, almost subjects relationships life
Speaker 1: like they claim to be super simple.
Speaker 2: You just think these niggas is really fucking dumbn't it.
Speaker 1: You know, this past weekend I kind of said that
Speaker 1: shit to somebody a little bit, a little t.
Speaker 2: T because that is.
Speaker 1: I am not hard on men, not at all. I
Speaker 1: don't and and really I think collective we may not
Speaker 1: be hard enough. They think we'd be being hard, but
Speaker 1: we really aren't. I'm not hard on men. I love men,
Speaker 1: I love black men in.
Speaker 2: Particular, hard on these niggas and.
Speaker 1: You soft on niggas. I might sound like I'm hard
Speaker 1: on them on this fucking podcast, but in real fucking life, bitch,
Speaker 1: too hard on a nigga? Me, okay, real.
Speaker 2: Life, Yeah, I'll be I'll be hard on the Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just talking about it, bitch. I still you give
Speaker 2: a nigga more chances than for sure, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So like, I'm talking about it right because the more
Speaker 1: women talk about things, that means we are still trying.
Speaker 1: It's when you fucking stop talking about ship is when
Speaker 1: niggas need to be worried. I don't care about y'all niggas,
Speaker 1: no more so, and I am I open. I open
Speaker 1: the door for anybody to talk say about whatever they want,
Speaker 1: say whatever they want about black women. You know, if
Speaker 1: we have there's plenty platforms for that shit. Okay, I do.
Speaker 1: I'm not hard on men anyway. I do think a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of them are stupid and they
Speaker 1: think that. Huh.
Speaker 2: I don't think these niggas are stupid. I just think,
Speaker 2: and I think they do think as deep as us.
Speaker 2: I don't think. I just when I say I'm harder
Speaker 2: than you, I don't know. I just don't be going forward.
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't. That's I guess why I ain't
Speaker 2: had no nigga since twenty sixteen. I ain't going for it.
Speaker 1: When I say men are stupid. Okay, when a man
Speaker 1: says he's simple, what is he actually saying? Because I
Speaker 1: know that men are very, very very like complex, nothing
Speaker 1: simple about him.
Speaker 2: When I hear them say the simple, I don't think
Speaker 2: simple minded. I think like they just want hot food
Speaker 2: and warm cuchie and peace.
Speaker 1: So one thing I listened is I'm simple. I don't
Speaker 1: like drama, right that. That's basically like the keywords they're
Speaker 1: actually missing there is that I want to do what
Speaker 1: the fuck I want to do, and I want you
Speaker 1: to shut the fuck up. Okay, When they don't like drama,
Speaker 1: that's them not taking accountability. They don't want you.
Speaker 2: They don't want to have to get into the in
Speaker 2: depth conversation about something they could have possibly done, or maybe.
Speaker 1: You want something you want change in the relationship. They
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. They want to be
Speaker 1: dismissive of your feelings, and they like to brush us off, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're so emotional. It's not like men. Men are emotional too,
Speaker 1: Because we always say motherfucks die whenmen get emotional. So
Speaker 1: they just to me, it's just lacking accountability, and they
Speaker 1: can just just scapegoat. I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: You just full of why you're always complaining, why you
Speaker 1: being petty? Because they don't want to take accountability for
Speaker 1: what it is that you have a problem with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one reason why someone would say that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because a half the time we're just asking for clarity.
Speaker 1: So maybe you're not thinking deep enough. Right. This is
Speaker 1: actually stemming from a conversation I had with a grown
Speaker 1: man over the weekend. I'm like, man, I ain't calling
Speaker 1: you no more. Cool, it's one of my friends. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I ain't talking to you no more because he basically
Speaker 1: told me that I'm never going to get a nigga
Speaker 1: to do all the things I want to do because
Speaker 1: I got masculine energy. He threw that shit on me.
Speaker 1: You know, the talking points from all the red pill
Speaker 1: niggas on these podcasts. I'm a very That's why when
Speaker 1: you say I'm hard on man, that is just not true.
Speaker 2: Like, I guess I expect what I bring, right, so
Speaker 2: like and bring masculine energy.
Speaker 1: How because I feel like to be a well.
Speaker 2: Rounded to what you bring. You should expect from a man,
Speaker 2: something different than what you're bringing. You should be bringing
Speaker 2: in your feminine softness.
Speaker 1: I feel like you got to bring both. I feel
Speaker 1: like men should be soft sometimes too. Masculinity is not
Speaker 1: just because this friend of mine, to him, masculinity is
Speaker 1: like cussing his family out. That is not like that's
Speaker 1: you know, men are respectful. That's not masculinity. Like men
Speaker 1: have control, right, That to me is masculinity being in
Speaker 1: control of your emotions, maybe being a little bit more
Speaker 1: stoic and not like cussing everybody out, like wanting to
Speaker 1: fight and shit like that like that, that's to me,
Speaker 1: that's not masculinity. Masculinity is more assertive, is more calculated.
Speaker 1: But really, those, when you think about it, are those
Speaker 1: not feminine traits? I think women we think more critically,
Speaker 1: right clinically, I believe.
Speaker 2: I feel like we haven't been allowed to be our
Speaker 2: greatest feminine selves as black women. We don't just get
Speaker 2: to like exist, be solved and be just cared for
Speaker 2: and docile. I don't ever, I don't ever remember the
Speaker 2: women in my life being able to just live in
Speaker 2: that type of energy and be just cared for. They're
Speaker 2: always taking care of business, always handling everything, always responsible
Speaker 2: for everybody, even the men.
Speaker 1: And I think so now I'm more so in a
Speaker 1: mindset is that I am now forcing you. I'm forcing
Speaker 1: whoever I deal with to be the man I'm no longer.
Speaker 2: But you can't force nobody, That's.
Speaker 1: What That's what I'm saying. So right now I'm just
Speaker 1: the fuck is just me existing? Right? So I don't
Speaker 1: want to have to force somebody to be what it
Speaker 1: is that whatever it is a man is, and whatever
Speaker 1: masculinity actually looks like, because it's really not for women
Speaker 1: to define, you know what I'm saying, So men have
Speaker 1: to define it. But I know it doesn't look like
Speaker 1: cussing your kids and wife out. That's not what the
Speaker 1: fuck masculinity looks like. And you definitely can't talk to
Speaker 1: me fucking crazy. So I don't know, But.
Speaker 2: What are the kids and wife doing?
Speaker 1: I think his shit came out of frustration because he
Speaker 1: does everything for his family.
Speaker 2: Okay, well then that's fair.
Speaker 1: That's not fair, you know, you just because you are
Speaker 1: the provider. So you mean to tell me if you
Speaker 1: were to actually lock in a nigga who's like full
Speaker 1: provider all your needs. He then gets to cuss you
Speaker 1: out when he gets frustrated. If I deserve it, what
Speaker 1: could you do to possibly deserve that.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm he doing everything and I'm just being so
Speaker 2: ungrateful and the kids don't listen and I'm just being
Speaker 2: a bitch. Maybe I deserve to shut the fuck up, Timmy. Yes, yes, yes, daddy,
Speaker 2: see you toxic. You don't believe that. Sometimes people deserve
Speaker 2: they need to get cussed out.
Speaker 1: I don't never need anybody to tell me to shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Sometimes you do who the fuck you
Speaker 1: talking to?
Speaker 2: Sometimes you need to shut the fuck up, though, no.
Speaker 1: Never, you don't never need to shut When I need
Speaker 1: to shut the fuck up, I don't be talking, and
Speaker 1: see that's just whused when I'm talking.
Speaker 2: That's when you think. But sometimes other people, especially a partner,
Speaker 2: might feel like, hey, you need to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: That's not what I've heard though in my relationships. What
Speaker 1: I've heard in my relationships is that I be building
Speaker 1: recal charges against niggas, Like I just let all these
Speaker 1: things add up and then I finally say something about it.
Speaker 1: Right now, it's the fucking problem that why didn't you
Speaker 1: say this before? Like if I had said something every
Speaker 1: single infraction, then I'd be nagging. So what is it
Speaker 1: that you really want?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but don't nobody want no Rico.
Speaker 1: Nigga said, I'd be building a Rico charge. Like it's
Speaker 1: not a Rico cases that I don't nag about every infraction,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And then, especially like when
Speaker 1: you cohabitating with somebody, you have to be cognizant and
Speaker 1: conscious that it's not just you, right, so you gotta
Speaker 1: you gotta make that other person comfortable and you expect
Speaker 1: the same thing because y'all have to be in one
Speaker 1: place forever together. So no, I'm not nagging by every
Speaker 1: little fucking thing, right, But if one need to lead
Speaker 1: to the next and then to the next, to the
Speaker 1: next and next. Now by the yeah, it Rico is
Speaker 1: fucking pending.
Speaker 2: I'll go that's a good practice.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2: Then. The only time I think that's a good practice
Speaker 2: is when you stacking them up to leave. Otherwise, you
Speaker 2: should address everything as it happens if it bothers you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but let's just stacking them up to say, Hey, this
Speaker 2: is why I'm leaving. Then don't don't pull that.
Speaker 1: I've definitely done that too.
Speaker 2: Bit y'all write a journal or a nigga.
Speaker 1: I have a whole journal letter written say hey, this
Speaker 1: is exactly why we're no longer. I have definitely done.
Speaker 2: That because one thing I don't like is let's say
Speaker 2: I have an issue with my man and I bring
Speaker 2: him the issue, and then instead of him addressing that issue,
Speaker 2: he goes to tell me something from last May that
Speaker 2: made him mad. It's like, why didn't you tell me
Speaker 2: when it made you mad? Why are you trying to deflect.
Speaker 1: From one your thing today?
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't do that now, because you're just trying to
Speaker 2: like minimize what I'm saying by something that you were
Speaker 2: set about it in May and I could have corrected
Speaker 2: that and May had you said something. But now I'm
Speaker 2: just pissed off. Yeah, and nobody hearing nobody at this point.
Speaker 1: So back to men saying that they're simple. Another example
Speaker 1: of that is I'm simple. I don't need much. My
Speaker 1: needs are basic, and that translates to feed me, fuck me, y,
Speaker 1: let me chill, and don't ask me any questions, right,
Speaker 1: But what's really underneath? Okay, so you know It may
Speaker 1: seem low maintenance on the surface, but it may also
Speaker 1: mean that they're just really suppressing like their emotions. And
Speaker 1: men often say how they have nobody to talk to, right,
Speaker 1: they don't talk to their friends, they don't talk to
Speaker 1: they women like, they don't tell people what they're actually
Speaker 1: experiencing on the inside. And some may think that's masculinity, right,
Speaker 1: just just dealing and not actually speaking up and saying
Speaker 1: when something's bothering you, when you're having a problem.
Speaker 2: But I think that's not even black a man thing.
Speaker 2: I think that's a black thing. We are definitely like
Speaker 2: we just deal shit happening. We just keep going, just
Speaker 2: keep pushing. That's it. Hm, talk to nobody just.
Speaker 1: I don't okay. So like the clitical counter, the clitical
Speaker 1: thinking counter to that is, it doesn't mean you have
Speaker 1: to be like emotionally unavailable. Do you actually know what
Speaker 1: you need? Are you used to not even being asked
Speaker 1: what the fuck you need? Because men ask what you
Speaker 1: bring it to the table, But what do you need
Speaker 1: on the table? Do you know what you need as
Speaker 1: a man? Do you know what you need out your partner?
Speaker 1: If you ask a man that, half the time they
Speaker 1: don't fucking know, don't know, They don't know what they
Speaker 1: want to eat, and they keep putting it on us
Speaker 1: as if we don't know what we want to eat.
Speaker 1: Imagine if your niggas say, uh, what you want to
Speaker 1: eat and you be like, I don't care, just whatever
Speaker 1: in the first place, he says you like, yeah, that
Speaker 1: would kill that whole argument, right. It's really because they
Speaker 1: don't know what they want to eat, so they yeah,
Speaker 1: so they put it on us. That's a small example
Speaker 1: of how the responsibility we so responsible for everybody.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing, because I've had that happen. He'd
Speaker 2: be like, what you want to eat? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't care, and he picked something,
Speaker 2: I'd be like I don't want that.
Speaker 1: Or you pick something. He'd get there with the menu
Speaker 1: and like, I don't see nothing out here I want.
Speaker 1: You had an opportunity to choose, so that shit could
Speaker 1: go both ways. Why is the onus always on a woman?
Speaker 1: Why I got to be concerned about your stomach and mine?
Speaker 2: What do you mean, like, that's the woman's job to
Speaker 2: be like the the nourishment, yeah, the nutrition for the family, not.
Speaker 1: In the dating. I guess right when you.
Speaker 2: If I see a whole fat family is the mama fault.
Speaker 2: Don't kill me, y'all, don't sorry.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree because I remember when one of
Speaker 1: my sisters is she extra fine right now, chiad, but
Speaker 1: you know she'd be letting her family stow eat bullshit
Speaker 1: while she's dyeting. That is not okay. I need you
Speaker 1: to make sure that they're eating whole foods as well,
Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying. You want to be
Speaker 1: the only one alive because that's what I'm seeing.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: My nephew beating fucking h noodles. Them sit got eight
Speaker 1: hundred milligrams.
Speaker 2: Of sodium in it them, chit is so high they're
Speaker 2: not even It's not even real food. I listen, if
Speaker 2: it was apocalypse and that was all that was left
Speaker 2: to eat, I would just go ahead and die. I
Speaker 2: cannot stay in a fucking pack of noodles because I
Speaker 2: ate so much of that shit between middle school and
Speaker 2: high school, I ate it everywhere you could think of it.
Speaker 2: Put an egg in it, put some sausage. I even
Speaker 2: ate noodles dry before, Like.
Speaker 1: That's a real struggle meal. That's really disgusting.
Speaker 2: It's gross. I'll never eat another noodle heck of noodles,
Speaker 2: forget about it. I did used to like those little
Speaker 2: cup noodles with the peas and stuff in there, even
Speaker 2: like those not even peas, that is three D printed piece.
Speaker 2: We got the fucking people's theay old dried ass three
Speaker 2: D shit.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. So we're going to go through like
Speaker 1: clinical thinking versus critical thinking so you can get better
Speaker 1: understand where it is I'm coming from, right, So let's
Speaker 1: break this zern real quick, because like traditional critical thinking
Speaker 1: is like spreadsheets and fucking data analytics and shit like that,
Speaker 1: and again, like clinical thinking is based off of lived experience,
Speaker 1: like your intuition. So critical thinking is like logical, objective, rational,
Speaker 1: right analytical, like step by step detached from emotion. Uh
Speaker 1: typically masculin coded clinical thinking is intuitive emotionally intelligent. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I think that most of the most of the
Speaker 1: people who claim to be emotional intelligent or have emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence are probably women, right, because we do tap into
Speaker 1: our emotions a little bit more. We do anticipate others,
Speaker 1: the needs of others over ours a lot of times,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. We know what you need
Speaker 1: before you even know what you need. That's what emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence is. And you know, I don't think men are
Speaker 1: even programmed to think in that way, but we want
Speaker 1: them to have all of this emotional intelligence. We think
Speaker 1: that's what we want from them. I don't know. Critical
Speaker 1: thinking is also like informed by patterns, just people's vibes,
Speaker 1: past experiences, rooted in self trust and boundary setting. So
Speaker 1: for example, say, for instance, your ex like calls you
Speaker 1: like one o'clock in the morning. In the morning, right,
Speaker 1: you chilling, drinking wine, listening to music. Critical thinking to
Speaker 1: have you thinking like, I wonder what he wants, right,
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's if it's an emergency. Clitical thinking
Speaker 1: would be like, man, fuck him. I'm not answering the phone.
Speaker 1: You just block him midphone call and keep drinking a
Speaker 1: wine and listening to music. That's political thinking. I don't
Speaker 1: need to know what this nick needs. I don't care. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just block his ass because I already know
Speaker 1: what that involves, already know what he coming for, So
Speaker 1: why even engage?
Speaker 2: Girl? I listen, that's so crazy because I one of
Speaker 2: my old thing things.
Speaker 1: Hot shits, what do they call him find shits just
Speaker 1: ships one of my old one of my old shits.
Speaker 2: Go message me do him? Oh no on Facebook message?
Speaker 2: Please why? I just need to talk to you, please
Speaker 2: and block me. So I unblocked this a motherfucker and
Speaker 2: he called me and he gonna say some bullshit about
Speaker 2: do my other ex nigga that he know about still
Speaker 2: sell weed?
Speaker 1: I was like, so he calling you for pluck talk? Yeah,
Speaker 1: not you to connect. I hung up so fast, not
Speaker 1: your relationship manager.
Speaker 2: And reblock that nigga just as quick, like.
Speaker 1: Fads, Like, nigga, what you trying to sat my other
Speaker 1: nigga up?
Speaker 2: I don't know what you talk about? One ship up
Speaker 2: from another ship. I ain't got nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2: Put two ships together?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like and after Oftentimes they don't want nothing, right, you.
Speaker 2: Don't want nothing, Leave me alone. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't do drugs. Leave me alone.
Speaker 1: Here's another example. So you've gone on like three amazing dates,
Speaker 1: but your gut is uneasy. Right, So they're attractive or
Speaker 1: like successful, consistent, and maybe I should keep seeing them.
Speaker 1: But your critical thinking is he gives like love bombing, right, disappear?
Speaker 1: He might disappear later, like your nervous system is on
Speaker 1: edge fucking with this person. You just know something's.
Speaker 2: Off with him.
Speaker 1: He might have even did he probably didn't even do
Speaker 1: anything just yet, but you just know that is your
Speaker 1: clitical thinking skills kicking in, which could probably save your
Speaker 1: fucking life. Because many relationships, I most relationships I've been in,
Speaker 1: I probably should have left day one. It was some
Speaker 1: shit that happened. I just was like, let me get
Speaker 1: the fuck up out of here aboard mission. And I
Speaker 1: stayed for a couple of years.
Speaker 2: But here's nobody's gonna be perfect, though, So it's okay
Speaker 2: to like ignore something, mind is.
Speaker 1: It, though? Because if we look at the data of
Speaker 1: these relationships, is it good to ignore? I mean, if I.
Speaker 2: Don't want to say directions like you don't like I
Speaker 2: hate too, you know, sit like that. You can get
Speaker 2: past that, all right, or you can groom that into
Speaker 2: something else.
Speaker 1: But if you see that is the problem, y'all. Bitch,
Speaker 1: Just thinking y'all could change people At this big age,
Speaker 1: people do change. I don't agree people mass you feel like.
Speaker 2: You're the same person you was when we started this show.
Speaker 1: Uh No, you've grown listen, but so growing and changing.
Speaker 1: Are those the same thing? Is that the same thing?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Because I really I've been literally the same person, and
Speaker 1: even like no, let me, let me not lie because
Speaker 1: I'd be reading some like some of my old Facebook
Speaker 1: shit and Twitter shit. I had to delete that stuff,
Speaker 1: like what the fuck was I talking about?
Speaker 2: You're dumb?
Speaker 1: What you talking about?
Speaker 2: You got to say? We're changing and growing every day.
Speaker 2: So just even the I just went and listened to
Speaker 2: like our first episode, I'm like super Hero like night
Speaker 2: or some bullshit. I was saying, what did you talk about? Ass?
Speaker 2: So yeah, so people do change, People do grow people
Speaker 2: and men too, especially when they start they did stop
Speaker 2: working as good, they really start changing.
Speaker 1: Then it's interesting they have daughters.
Speaker 2: They start changing when they had little girls. Stuff like
Speaker 2: that will change a man. But don't nothing them change
Speaker 2: them worse than they did stopping.
Speaker 1: Looky humble them a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that Dick's change up or the desires.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's true, because I feel
Speaker 1: like they still be wanting to put that gummy worm
Speaker 1: on a bitch, like just still just getting a new
Speaker 1: bitch to show her the gummy worm. It's still exciting
Speaker 1: to them. They don't care about being embarrassed. They retired
Speaker 1: that wet rag. They just want to stuff it in
Speaker 1: as many bitches as possible. All right, So like a
Speaker 1: friend keeps subtly throwing shade critical thinking, maybe I'm just
Speaker 1: being too sensitive. Let me watch a few more interactions
Speaker 1: to confirm clinical thinking. That comment hit sideways. She's not
Speaker 1: for me. Distance activated. You know what time it is like,
Speaker 1: don't trick yourself into thinking somebody ain't doing what they're doing.
Speaker 1: I have been around people where somebody says some sideways shit.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna address it right then and there, because I
Speaker 1: have lit things like sliding get home, like saying I
Speaker 1: should have, would have, could have, and I'd be disappointed
Speaker 1: with myself, like damn, I should have. I should have
Speaker 1: fucking cussed that bitch out. I should have Da da
Speaker 1: da da da.
Speaker 2: It's a hitch from two thousand. It was twenty twelve
Speaker 2: that I still think about because her mother fucking NaNs
Speaker 2: out and I let some shit she said slide, and
Speaker 2: I used to regret it right to day, I still
Speaker 2: like I be laying in bed like I should have
Speaker 2: if I fire a bitch to this day.
Speaker 1: Look, I have a first cousin that I don't fuck
Speaker 1: with on any level in my mind right because of
Speaker 1: it might have been around like it might have been
Speaker 1: earlier in twenty twelve. Did I even tell you all
Speaker 1: this story? So my cousin asked me to be in
Speaker 1: her wedding.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you just share no hold on.
Speaker 1: She didn't ask me to be in her wedding. She
Speaker 1: asked me to be the usher. Yeah, okay, this is
Speaker 1: my first cousin. So imagine you living in Atlanta and
Speaker 1: a bitch you asking you to come to South Carolina
Speaker 1: to come to her wedding, but be an usher. Right.
Speaker 1: So when I thought about it, I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: think I want to do that. I talked to my
Speaker 1: mom about it. She was like, girl, you don't want
Speaker 1: be no usher? So I called her back. I said, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what I think I prefer just like attending
Speaker 1: the wedding, right girl? Why I got to the U.
Speaker 1: She had a bridal shower, and I guess her maid
Speaker 1: of honor. Her bestie was like the spokesperson for the
Speaker 1: shit they had spoke about me, and she was introducing
Speaker 1: each of us. She introduced my sister Sam first. She's like, yes,
Speaker 1: my cousin Sam. This is my cousin introducing us to
Speaker 1: her maid of honor. And this is my cousin Sam,
Speaker 1: and this is Ashley and the homegirl these aka bitches too.
Speaker 1: The homegirl was like, oh, she's not in the wedding,
Speaker 1: she's not a bridesmaid, usher or anything. And my voice
Speaker 1: literally was gone, y'all, I have fucking like laryngitis or
Speaker 1: something like I had no voice, so imagine me. I
Speaker 1: would sound like this trying to curse the bitch out.
Speaker 1: But this is how my cousin let some random bitch
Speaker 1: play with me. My cousin barely know my fucking life,
Speaker 1: and I'm still holding a grudge to this day. I
Speaker 1: still want to have that conversation with her because I'm
Speaker 1: trying to figure out why the fuck y'all thought y'all
Speaker 1: could play on me just because I didn't want to
Speaker 1: serve food to my family at this big, immaculate wedding, Like,
Speaker 1: why would you try to like downgrade me to a
Speaker 1: fucking server? Am I tripping? Y'all?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Girl, So my best friend at the time, she was
Speaker 1: dating my first cousin's brother, so she's dating my cousin.
Speaker 1: She ended up doing it with she ended up doing
Speaker 1: it instead. They were black and white like a fucking waitress,
Speaker 1: and she had people from the church doing it. Why
Speaker 1: did you need me to do that?
Speaker 2: So you were the only family member that was gonna
Speaker 2: be an usher?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, my other cousins was bridemaids. Why do I
Speaker 1: don't want to and I live I live at a
Speaker 1: town we barely speak, Like your mind told you to
Speaker 1: call me to do that, And it's not like I like.
Speaker 2: Maybe cooking and wanted you to help with the food.
Speaker 1: Imagine like one of these Instagram weddings. That's how her
Speaker 1: reception looked. I mean, big long rolls of full like
Speaker 1: all this food, like these ushers. That the thing that
Speaker 1: she wanted me to do, what my best friend was
Speaker 1: doing was serving food to our family with a black
Speaker 1: and white outfit on Why would you have your first
Speaker 1: cousin doing that?
Speaker 2: So I get that in the event that no family
Speaker 2: was working, then I get while I was like, why
Speaker 2: are you only ask me and you got people outside
Speaker 2: of the family doing everything, but I'm the only family member.
Speaker 1: But then you came with people, it came with staff.
Speaker 2: It was just like I need my family to help
Speaker 2: assist to make this they beautiful. Then I would not
Speaker 2: mind a mind doing that. I wouldn't mind being an
Speaker 2: usher because it's not about me. It's about her, her
Speaker 2: beautiful day, and this is my cousin. I want her
Speaker 2: to have a beautiful day, so I will I'll help
Speaker 2: because when it's my turn, I'm gonna need everybody in
Speaker 2: this stand.
Speaker 1: I would never call my first cousin and ask her
Speaker 1: to serve food at my wedding. I would never do
Speaker 1: that to her if it was that's a grading. That's
Speaker 1: how I felt. That was highly degrading, Like I'm your
Speaker 1: first cousin, Like, why would you want me serving food
Speaker 1: to our family?
Speaker 2: Families? Families do that though family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this ain't even no bullshit wedding though, See you're
Speaker 1: not thinking on the scale, I said, one of these
Speaker 1: Instagram fucking wedding is the ship was immaculate. Why and
Speaker 1: I bought the fucking beautiful dress to wear to her wedding?
Speaker 2: That's it because it wasn't like that. It wasn't like
Speaker 2: a situation where the whole family was, you know, yah.
Speaker 1: Pitching it and helping. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't
Speaker 1: nothing like that. My homegirl was fucking pissed the whole
Speaker 1: time because she didn't know what all It wouldn't tell
Speaker 1: either when she is stept the position as an usher. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was serving us food. That's that's fucked up
Speaker 1: to have your brother's girlfriend, who should be his date
Speaker 1: at your wedding doing that. But because they used to
Speaker 1: have a problem with her, because they my uncle, their
Speaker 1: dad never really fucked me. I mean from a little girl.
Speaker 2: He would say shit like me, oh hair cousin is
Speaker 2: glamor queen like still to this date, that's how you
Speaker 2: treat me.
Speaker 1: So I feel like that kind of rubbed off on
Speaker 1: like his kids and how they see me. Well, maybe
Speaker 1: not my boy cousins, but it's something there. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I still have like, yeah, some anna, I have some
Speaker 1: anna about that.
Speaker 2: Have you seen this cousin?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But I just feel like now I can't address
Speaker 1: it because then it would be petty. But it bothers
Speaker 1: you very seventeen years and divorce's so married, So I like,
Speaker 1: I just gotta let it go. But I'm telling y'all
Speaker 1: because like, who the fuck else I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Tell that she happened to the show about it.
Speaker 1: And then we'll talk about it at that time. And
Speaker 1: you know what the worst thing about it is people
Speaker 1: do things and then when you address it, they I
Speaker 1: don't even remember that, yeah, because you weren't on the
Speaker 1: receiving end of the bullshit.
Speaker 2: But sometimes people don't even know that they're offending you.
Speaker 2: So that's why it's important to address it, like I didn't.
Speaker 2: I don't remember it because I didn't know it was
Speaker 2: a thing.
Speaker 1: Oh she's not a bridesmaid usher or anything. Why do
Speaker 1: you ask my sister that?
Speaker 2: Right? It was introduced right before me. They had That's
Speaker 2: what I fucking know.
Speaker 1: And this is what clinical thinking is, right, It's just
Speaker 1: you knowing the bullshit. It can't nobody tell you any different, bitch,
Speaker 1: because it's a gut feeling. It is an inner knowing
Speaker 1: that cannot be fucking debated. I'm not tripping, y'all. Bitches
Speaker 1: tried me. Y'all really tried it. So I was never
Speaker 1: able to address it. So I still that shit might
Speaker 1: have been two thousand and nine, bitch, I'm go, lie,
Speaker 1: I much g lie. It might have been like two
Speaker 1: thousand and nine. I still feel some type of way
Speaker 1: about that shit, because why did I deserve that? That's
Speaker 1: what bothers.
Speaker 2: Me when people the fuck you think you are, you
Speaker 2: fly ass dish coming up in here, think you go
Speaker 2: upstage the bride. You ain't gonna do that this time, bitch,
Speaker 2: serve out that chicken ho that's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, here's my personality. When I tell y'all,
Speaker 1: when I get married, y'all motherfuckers better show up like this,
Speaker 1: y'all wedding. That's how I feel. That's how confident I
Speaker 1: am about myself. I know that's where that bullshit came from, right,
Speaker 1: them not wanting me to show up in all my
Speaker 1: mother fucking glory but for my wedding. Bitch, if you
Speaker 1: were the wedding party, if you just a wedding, guess
Speaker 1: when I tell y'all, y'all better act like this, y'all
Speaker 1: shit for birthdays. I want everybody to be extra fucking fine.
Speaker 1: I never like one of those people do don't want
Speaker 1: their friends to outdress them on their fucking birthday. That
Speaker 1: is weird.
Speaker 2: O't behave to care about my birthday, but aren't my wedding.
Speaker 2: Please don't come in a white dress.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Don't come in here wed bit your whole ass and
Speaker 2: should have having a white dress anyway, you don't wear one, bitch,
Speaker 2: wear a black dress my wedding. I don't be like,
Speaker 2: do you hate me?
Speaker 1: Because yeah, but it's never going to like a wedding
Speaker 1: gown though, you know what I'm saying. So even if
Speaker 1: somebody were to have on a white dress, it's never
Speaker 1: going to like a wedding gown.
Speaker 2: Tacky ass bitch coming in a white dress to a wedding,
Speaker 2: I'll be I'll be like, this is an all white wedding.
Speaker 2: Why are you here? Are you trying to give your
Speaker 2: man a message? Propos bitch?
Speaker 1: Maybe and listen it's all open over here. Yes, do that.
Speaker 1: And if you feel beautiful today, I want everybody to
Speaker 1: feel good.
Speaker 2: But I don't want you to be tacky. Don't be
Speaker 2: taking I don't think that's tacking. Don't be attagging. Bitch.
Speaker 2: I invited you because I didn't think you were one,
Speaker 2: and here you come being one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You can listen where anything where motherfucking tied out to this, motherfucker.
Speaker 2: Don't come in white.
Speaker 1: Leave like a black tie event. No white even black tie,
Speaker 1: no white.
Speaker 2: No, no white dress. You can have a dress with
Speaker 2: white in it with you.
Speaker 1: I want everybody look back to you and escorting me
Speaker 1: out of the winds. I got uninvited. And after she
Speaker 1: showed up.
Speaker 2: Right, the bride will call you later. That's what they're
Speaker 2: gonna tell you as you leave out. The mother bitch.
Speaker 1: I don't want it all these years to get married.
Speaker 2: You come into my ship in a white dress. You
Speaker 2: gotta be fucked up.
Speaker 1: But there's no way for her to look like you
Speaker 1: though on that day. That's how I'm confused. No, you're
Speaker 1: damn right you won't because you won't, y'all, head at
Speaker 1: you've been mourned.
Speaker 2: Yes, it advans, but I think all my friends know
Speaker 2: that they got sense enough to know not to come
Speaker 2: to a wedding in a white dress unless it's all
Speaker 2: white wedding where some people have that where everybody comes
Speaker 2: in white, which I don't like that either. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 2: don't do that.
Speaker 1: Look at your little ponytails up in the riverside picture.
Speaker 1: You see it, all right, So y'all, Clitical thinking doesn't
Speaker 1: mean ignore logic at all, right, So it just adds
Speaker 1: like an extra layer of protection, Okay. Emotional wisdom pattern
Speaker 1: recognition based on just the fucking truth, right, It's just
Speaker 1: you know, that's intelligence too. So don't let anybody tell
Speaker 1: you that you making shit up, that it's just feelings,
Speaker 1: or that you overreacting, bitch. You know what you know,
Speaker 1: and that's clinical thinking. So it's not over analyzing everything.
Speaker 1: Is not ignoring facts of feelings or facts four feelings,
Speaker 1: I should say. Or it's just not like just being pest,
Speaker 1: petty or sassy. It's just recognizing the patterns again, knowing
Speaker 1: your fucking gut and trusting that inner feeling. That's it.
Speaker 1: That is what clitical thinking is. Hat's coming soon, all right.
Speaker 1: So you know what I do want people to do.
Speaker 1: I want y'all to send me, send me some send
Speaker 1: us some messages, uh with like your best Uh? He
Speaker 1: said he was simple, but stories. That's what I want
Speaker 1: to see, Like mint, When what did a man tell you?
Speaker 1: Like he said, I'm simple, but such and such and
Speaker 1: how did he actually act? Right? All men say that
Speaker 1: they're simple and they have these minimal needs. I want
Speaker 1: to hear the stories.
Speaker 2: Let's hear it. Let's hear that, because.
Speaker 1: Them niggas ain't simple anyway, You good, Tammy?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Last, all right, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all
Speaker 1: tune in every Thursday and a black Effect. iHeart radio
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Speaker 1: This show co hosts a j holiday. On instagrams, y'all, follow, subscribe, share,
Speaker 1: share the podcast with your besties. Leave a review if
Speaker 1: you're feeling froggy. I wish I could fucking comment back
Speaker 1: on reviews, but it's all welcome. Thank you. We want
Speaker 1: we want the listeners, we want the spens.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, y'all sofiicial team BAM. I love y'all
Speaker 2: so much. Remember speak now.
Speaker 1: And never hold your motherfucker piece. Okay, never never hold
Speaker 1: your gut feelings. Click some clip notes.
Speaker 2: Yes,