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Speaker 1: Hoping, and we talk back where we encourage you to

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Speaker 1: hustle hard, laugh louder, and always.

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Speaker 2: Keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown.

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Speaker 1: Because it's about to go down.

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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 2: talks back.

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j holiday. What's hey, y'all?

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy?

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Speaker 1: What the fuck was that right?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, hey, y'all. I love y'all so very much.

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Speaker 1: Geeking out right quick?

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Speaker 2: I thought it was happening. I'm so happy. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if it's all right, y'all. I got all my

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Speaker 2: weave out and I got two balls and it just

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Speaker 2: makes me feel so youthful and just full of life

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Speaker 2: or something. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Interesting my edges. Look, are you gonna get you some

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Speaker 1: rolls oil?

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Speaker 2: They're growing back now.

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Speaker 1: We got out here, I was like, bitch, you got

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Speaker 1: your real hair out? I hear that.

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Speaker 2: What was smooth right there? It's some hair you.

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Speaker 1: Got the ad just flourishing for the summer.

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Speaker 2: Don't play with me. Don't play with me.

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Speaker 1: I should have gotten me some braids. I just don't

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Speaker 1: feel like putting them in and taking them out though

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Speaker 1: it's just a whole process.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but the in between time is so glorious.

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Speaker 1: Because I be in yoga with a fucking wig scarf on.

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Speaker 1: It wouldn't be wigging for the gym now there's a

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Speaker 1: wig scarf. When I tell y'all, y'all, fuck that gym. Shit. Man,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm about to just only do hot yoga

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Speaker 1: because when I tell y'all, I burn way more calories

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Speaker 1: than forty five minutes, and hot yoga like six hundred

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Speaker 1: calories and forty five minutes.

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Speaker 2: I can't do nothing hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you damn. They can't breathe in that bitch. But

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Speaker 1: and I be right in there like tussling and do

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Speaker 1: all them positions. Hiah looking stupid. I already know.

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Speaker 2: That's how everybody looks stupid when they start.

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Speaker 1: But my hip hurt a little bit today. But see that.

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Speaker 1: The thing is, I need this fucking stretch more.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm on day fifty eight of my seventy five

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Speaker 2: hart and I look at the beginning pictures and the

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Speaker 2: pictures now and I can tell, like my face, like

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Speaker 2: I can see my body is changing. But I don't

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Speaker 2: know why I thought that I would be looking like

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Speaker 2: Billy Blanks by now, and I don't you know, So

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Speaker 2: I just knew by the time I got to sixty,

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Speaker 2: I was gonna be ripped up. But that's not how

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Speaker 2: it worked. Like the training was like, I mean, this

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Speaker 2: is seventy five days.

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Speaker 1: It's good, but these not good results.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I got I got good results. But I

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Speaker 2: just thought I was gonna look like I don't know

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Speaker 2: what I thought. I just thought, yeah, by the time

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Speaker 2: I get to sixty, are.

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Speaker 1: You doing like creatine and stuff like that, because I

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Speaker 1: put creatine into my little regimen. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I know I don't eat enough protein though.

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Speaker 2: Bro. That's that has been like the hardest part for me,

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Speaker 2: outside of drinking all that water every day. The protein

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Speaker 2: I've been doing. Like I found these muffins called Bootylicious muffins,

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Speaker 2: and they're low calorie, low carb. They taste yeah, and

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Speaker 2: they taste nice, and they got twenty five grams of protein.

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Speaker 2: It comes like in a powder form and you gotta

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Speaker 2: add water or milk or whatever, and I just add

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Speaker 2: protein shake as my milk to it. And they're actually good.

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Speaker 2: So I have those in the morning.

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Speaker 1: You gotta bake them, that's what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: The microwave cause like a little cup, like a noodle cup,

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Speaker 2: and you just mix it with your water or whatever

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Speaker 2: you want to put in it. And they put in

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Speaker 2: the microwave for a minute fifteen seconds and it's a

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Speaker 2: little muffin in a pot and it's so good. And

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Speaker 2: I have that with my black coffee in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Nice. And that's I just had two eggs this morning.

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Speaker 1: I don't eat enough, man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I realized. You're supposed to have a

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Speaker 2: grammar protein for every pound in your body. Who are

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Speaker 2: you eating that much protein in a day?

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Speaker 1: And then because I don't eat meat, like it's hard,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm tied of salmon. I don't eat when salmon

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Speaker 1: tay's weird nowadays. So I bought like a big ass

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Speaker 1: from Costco. I bought like a big ass box of

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Speaker 1: lobster tails for like two hundred dollars. It was like

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Speaker 1: twenty lobster tails, like the big ones too. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: it was gonna sell Mother's Day weekend, So I bought.

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Speaker 1: So I beat lobster tails scallos. I made a little

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Speaker 1: fry loft sale. That's girl's imagine like if you go

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Speaker 1: to a restaurant and got a lobster dinner. How much

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Speaker 1: that's gonna cost you. It's gonna be two hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: for that want meal you and somebody else. So I

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Speaker 1: got a whole box of them. That is actually not rich,

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Speaker 1: that's rich broke.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's that's actually really good. And I noticed that

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Speaker 2: you've been back to Costco, but you haven't mentioned my candle.

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Speaker 1: But they don't have them no more. They're gone. I

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Speaker 1: didn't see them when I went back in there.

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Speaker 2: I wanted that really badly.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you know, I would have had to win

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Speaker 1: the very next day that we talked about it, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't, you know, But you should be able to

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Speaker 1: order it online. I'll give you my Costco account and

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Speaker 1: you could order it to your house online. Anything that

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Speaker 1: you see that you might want, usually it's on the

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Speaker 1: Costco website. Then that way you could just ship that

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Speaker 1: ship to your house without stepping foot in the Costco.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's cool. I also wanted you to buy it,

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Speaker 2: but it's okay. I'll just.

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Speaker 1: Girl, where the fuck was I putting that that thing was?

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Speaker 1: That thing is the size of a waste basket for

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Speaker 1: a bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so big. I love it.

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Speaker 1: You gotta be careful with candles because a lot of

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Speaker 1: them shit toxic. Man, you want a big, big, stupid

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Speaker 1: ass toxic can do in your house.

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Speaker 2: I want that. I want that toxic shit in the house.

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Speaker 2: I want that candle.

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Speaker 1: I was your weekend. I ain't do much this past weekend.

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Speaker 2: My weekend I hit. I hit a wall this weekend, Auntie,

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Speaker 2: you is tired. I could do no more. I could

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Speaker 2: do no more. I just had to rest. I had to.

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Speaker 2: I mean I did my works but like I literally

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Speaker 2: did my workouts and got in the bed. That was it.

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Speaker 1: I mean I went to m hmm, that'd be fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I did enjoy laying in the bed all day.

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Speaker 2: Like on Sunday, I did my workout and then I

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Speaker 2: got back in the bed. I tried to go. I

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Speaker 2: was trying. I was supposed to go to New York.

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Speaker 2: It didn't work out, but God said, lay down, and

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Speaker 2: that's what I did. Shout out to Taylor. Taylor had

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Speaker 2: her baby shower Sunday. I missed it. I sent her

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Speaker 2: some nice things. I literally I'm broke right down, because stop.

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Speaker 1: Saying you broke girl. In between blessings and bitch ain't

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Speaker 1: never broke.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm in between blessings cuz five bitches, I never

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Speaker 2: had baby showers this week. That's five hundred dollars gone,

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Speaker 2: just buying everybody some shit, trying to you know, trying

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Speaker 2: to bless everybody baby. And I just pray over that money.

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Speaker 2: When I spend it on y'all day, it comes back

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 1: You're not spending it, You're circulating it. You see. Gotta

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Speaker 1: chose those words wisely so the money can come back.

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Speaker 1: So you circulated the money and bought the gifts, and

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Speaker 1: it's coming right back around.

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Speaker 2: Why I've been fucking.

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Speaker 1: We ain't even fucking enough, because where's my goddamn baby, y'all?

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Speaker 1: My birthday Sunday? Where is my baby?

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Speaker 2: And then you don't never have no birthday party. I'm

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Speaker 2: sick of you.

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Speaker 1: I don't because it's like, listen, I like to celebrate.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of sick of America. Maybe if I maybe

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Speaker 1: I could plan a trip for real, like I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do a solo trip. And I didn't even execute

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Speaker 1: on that shit.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you bullshit it on that.

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Speaker 1: I know I did. And now I'm like I don't

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Speaker 1: want to spend that type of I wanted to go

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Speaker 1: to Barbados, and I don't want to spend that type

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Speaker 1: of money on the fucking flight now. And I only

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Speaker 1: can go for like a couple of days, you know,

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Speaker 1: I want to go for the whole fucking week, pack

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Speaker 1: the fucking cat up and be out.

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Speaker 2: Well, why you can't, Why you can't.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do something because I do want to definitely be on

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Speaker 1: the beach this weekend. So I'm gonna figure it out

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Speaker 1: last minute, hop in the car or the plane and

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Speaker 1: get out of here for a couple of days.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do it.

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Speaker 1: I want to figure it out. I am making me

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Speaker 1: some fairy wings. Now what I heard recently, okay, because

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Speaker 1: what I did do this weekend is bought some fucking furnitures,

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Speaker 1: some new furniture. And one of my homegirls, who uh

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Speaker 1: picked the chairs up I needed, she helped me with

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Speaker 1: her truck. As she was leaving, I told her I

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Speaker 1: was making fairy wings. So I did arts and craft

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Speaker 1: this weekend and she told me, did you know, like

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Speaker 1: the fairy shit is like another word for prostitution. I'm

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Speaker 1: disgusted with you niggas. What How the fuck would y'all

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Speaker 1: pervert fairies? Yes, they're saying fair I googled it. It's

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Speaker 1: saying like fairy if if a woman says she's a fairy,

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Speaker 1: that's like a cold word for selling pussy.

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Speaker 2: Damn not tinker Bell being out here selling ass the

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Speaker 2: whole time and we ain't even know.

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Speaker 1: I am so sick of niggas, man Like, why do

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Speaker 1: we pervert everything? Why we make everything positive and magical?

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Speaker 1: Like as negative as possible? You know, why does that happen?

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Speaker 2: I was so disgusted I ain't gonna lie. I need

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Speaker 2: to eat lunch because when you said fair wings, I

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Speaker 2: thought she was making.

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Speaker 1: Some fair wing. How you like low gold dust like

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Speaker 1: low goal uh oh, sweet sour sauce, like some little

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Speaker 1: gold flakes or something like that lemon pepper shame. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't do much this weekend. I did hot

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Speaker 1: yogat and made some fucking fairy wings. That's it.

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Speaker 2: Let's get this.

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Speaker 1: So, y'all, this is this is so for me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how y'all feel, but it says a

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Speaker 1: new study. I don't know how I knew it is

202
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Speaker 1: but it says new study shows women find men sixty

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Speaker 1: percent more attractive if he can do manly task like

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Speaker 1: mow the yard, fix the car, and pick her up

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Speaker 1: and then use the imagery from a baby boy you

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Speaker 1: remember his mama with ben Rhyme's getting picked up in

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Speaker 1: that kitchen. Yes, live okay, it's so funny to find

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Speaker 1: you know. Did you ever see the video? I think

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Speaker 1: she was on a breakfast club. I can't remember. I

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Speaker 1: think she was a breakfast club. AJ. She said that

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Speaker 1: she did like a threesome for her fiftieth birthday, but

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Speaker 1: it was actually with two men. I mean that's a threesome.

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Speaker 2: Some people may consider it a train but she said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: is it a It's only a threesome if they distouched right?

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Speaker 1: Why because they like by at that point?

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Speaker 2: No, because I thought everybody's having sexual with everybody.

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Speaker 1: That's what I thought. So too, that's what I thought.

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Speaker 1: But anyway over here, unlet's just pp So it's a

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Speaker 1: steady show. Women find men up to sixty percent more

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Speaker 1: attractive when they can do manly tasks like change the oil,

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Speaker 1: chop wood more lawn, carry her with ease or drop

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Speaker 1: and do push ups. It's not just man chocolate, some wood,

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Speaker 1: me too. It's not just the muscles, it's the competence

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Speaker 1: fixing things, lifting, heavy handling business without calling for help.

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Speaker 1: And in a world of soft talkers and filters, being

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Speaker 1: hands on is the new sexy. I've always been like,

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Speaker 1: I like dirty niggas, like I like mechanics. I like

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Speaker 1: fucking truck drivers. I like niggas who could build me

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Speaker 1: a house. Definitely niggas who chop wood. Those are my

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Speaker 1: kind of guys.

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Speaker 2: It's this nigga on Instagram. He got that curly hair,

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Speaker 2: brown skin, and he'd be out there chopping wood.

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Speaker 1: Fine nigga be eating that fucking watermelon face. Yes, yes, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we like that, like you know, a.

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Speaker 2: New study that shit always been training.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we women don't end up with these

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Speaker 1: type of guys, though, you know what I'm saying. You

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Speaker 1: either end up with somebody you gotta do all the things,

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Speaker 1: or maybe he has the finances to pay for somebody

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Speaker 1: to do the things. But I really I like to

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Speaker 1: do things even if I have the money, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't want to spend it on certain things that I

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Speaker 1: can read a book and figure out, or watch YouTube

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Speaker 1: and figure it out, so bitch be undereath the hood

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Speaker 1: of the car and all the things. And I like

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Speaker 1: men who do that, who do those same type of

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Speaker 1: things like I like, I like problem solvers. I like uh, troubleshooters.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: I don't like I'm not getting under no car. I'll

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Speaker 2: change a tire if I have to, and there's no

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Speaker 2: cars passing by, and I can't just put a leg

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Speaker 2: out into the street.

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Speaker 1: But I just feel accomplished when I do things, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I like taking it apart and

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Speaker 1: putting it back together. That's just what I like.

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Speaker 2: So I like somebody who can compliment that type activity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: My ex girldmama was like, don't dumping yet. I need

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Speaker 1: him to finish the towel in my kitchen. We did

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Speaker 1: that Chile bitch in the kitchen, and not immediately, so

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Speaker 1: if you're listening, you know that. Really we were just laughing,

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Speaker 1: me and my mama, You're bestie, was just laughing and

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Speaker 1: joking and playing right. But shortly thereafter, yes, bitch, I

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Speaker 1: didn't after I got her Chile.

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Speaker 2: So cam Brian had the exotic dancer that was a

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Speaker 2: part of the Cassie and Diddy case. That black man

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Speaker 2: came out with the book Freezer Meat, and he proceeds

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Speaker 2: to ask him was the pussy good? Like let us

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Speaker 2: know how to put what the pussy was hitting for?

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Speaker 2: And I thought that was so crash and just ugh.

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Speaker 2: But then at the same time, I was like, I

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Speaker 2: might have wanted to know, nasty. No, I don't want

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Speaker 2: to know if Cassie pussy is good about Cassie's vagina.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, I'm just thinking about how like I

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Speaker 2: talked with my friends. They tell me they had, you know,

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Speaker 2: fun over the weekend. I might want it to be

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Speaker 2: like what that they care for?

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Speaker 1: You send me a video?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I get why he might have asked that,

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Speaker 2: but she is also a victim, and it's very public,

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Speaker 2: and it just seemed very inappropriate to ask that man

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Speaker 2: at And he didn't even answer the question. Basically, he

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Speaker 2: was like, I don't I couldn't even tell you because

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Speaker 2: I just wasn't in it, Like I was very concerned

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Speaker 2: with my sexuality being tested by Diddy the whole time.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's just about him saying it on like

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Speaker 1: a public platform, because I mean, of course we have

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Speaker 1: these d these conversations, and you know, there's really no

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Speaker 1: man that believes that Cassie is a victim. Unfortunately a

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Speaker 1: very small percentage, and they're probably from our gay community.

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Speaker 1: Regular heterosexual men feel like Cassie got what she deserved.

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Speaker 1: Cassie was doing all the things because she wanted to

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Speaker 1: do it. Cassie was a willing participant. A lot of

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Speaker 1: them don't see the abuse part, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: They don't see the coaching, the grooming, they don't see it.

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Speaker 1: They just you know, she signed up for that shit.

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Speaker 1: That's really how they feel. So that's why.

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Speaker 2: Cameron can get on the fucking podcast and asks, what's

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Speaker 2: the plessy good?

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Speaker 1: That is so disgusting? He get, oh my goddamn nerve,

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Speaker 1: Like what the fuck happened to his airline? He was like,

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Speaker 1: it just got so like he didn't get a new barber,

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Speaker 1: that nigga. That shit that got pushbacks. It like a

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Speaker 1: half moon. It like the moon right now, dog Crescent.

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Speaker 2: It was just inappropriate. It was a valid question that

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Speaker 2: I feel like men ask each other all the time.

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Speaker 2: But it just was you got to read the room,

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Speaker 2: you know, you gotta read the room, and that just

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Speaker 2: was not nice or nobody wanted to hear that. Regarding

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Speaker 2: this situation, I.

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Speaker 1: Think, yeah, I could have lived without it, because you

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Speaker 1: sent me that post and all I said was ill.

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Speaker 2: I said yuck when I got it, when I it

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Speaker 2: was sent to me, it just.

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Speaker 1: Was like, you said that out loud, growing ass, fucking

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Speaker 1: fifty old nigga. Shut up anyway, You're too.

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Speaker 2: Old to be just behaving that way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So so. Glorilla recently changed her profile picture to

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Speaker 1: Michael Jackson after the nose job allegations.

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Speaker 2: It ain't allegation, she said she did.

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Speaker 1: Yeah she did, and it clearly looks like she got

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Speaker 1: a nose job. I don't know how you feel about that.

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Speaker 1: What do they call it? Rhinoplasty.

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Speaker 2: I'm an advocate of do whatever makes you happy. I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I liked her own nose, but it's about her liking

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Speaker 2: her nose. So if she liked a new nose, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm here for it. I don't have no but they

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Speaker 2: eating her up because people are not happy with her nose.

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Speaker 2: You know, people are not liking the nose. And then

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Speaker 2: another girl I can't remember who got there is done.

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Speaker 2: They was like, you gotta let that nose sit a

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Speaker 2: little while for to heal and take it the actual

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Speaker 2: point it says it takes like a year usually. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: do you think made.

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Speaker 1: Sallion and got her nose done? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Her does does look different?

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people, I mean, Beyonce clearly

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Speaker 1: has a nose job. A lot of people there. Most

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Speaker 1: people I believe probably got this type of work done.

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Speaker 1: We know Cardi B got a nose job. Mary J.

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Speaker 1: Blige got to know his job. Look, Kim got a

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Speaker 1: million those jobs. Like most people in the industry, they

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Speaker 1: end up.

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Speaker 2: Removing their daddy's noses, Like this is my daddy knows

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Speaker 2: I want and it's wide and.

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Speaker 1: Girl, my nose big as a motherfucker. This is my daddy.

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Speaker 1: Daddy knows all day long, and I'm gonna keep it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is my nigga knows and I love it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can put enough makeup on it. You could

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Speaker 1: put like some contouring on it.

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Speaker 2: You wanted to have a point, you can contour it.

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Speaker 2: But I don't even care about that. It's these titties.

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Speaker 2: I want to do something. That's why I got no

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Speaker 2: judging for nobody that if I go on a vacation,

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Speaker 2: doing that suction thing to my titties. You know what I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about?

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Speaker 1: Yo, may do the booty. Yeah, that's gonna look crazy.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it. It's probably be bruised up the

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Speaker 2: whole vacate these bruised.

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Speaker 1: And the last night of vacation, your titty is gonna

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Speaker 1: be gone. Wait a minute, motherfuckers.

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Speaker 2: Again, put your right here real hard so they can swell.

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Speaker 1: Look lead them teddies alone the ship that we be

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Speaker 1: worrying about, Like, men do not give a fuck. They

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Speaker 1: don't so I know it right under. I know we

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Speaker 1: say it's for us, right half the things we do?

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Speaker 1: Is it really though? Yes?

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Speaker 2: For us?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, because niggas don't care.

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Speaker 2: I told you he's second laid back and he's.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Good luck with her in her nose,

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Speaker 1: like I mean, she's a pretty girl regardless, Like Glorilla

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Speaker 1: is really a pretty girl in person. She got like

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Speaker 1: a little distinct unique look, but she's a pretty girl.

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Speaker 2: She looked like principal Hogh Tower to me. I don't

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Speaker 2: know her really with her she was beautiful, like that's

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Speaker 2: her kid or something, right, Yeah, she could have very

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Speaker 2: well been her daughter mm hm.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, shout out to the new noses hid y'all have

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Speaker 1: fun with that, y'all. So today we want to talk

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Speaker 1: about clinical thinking, not to be confused with critical thinking. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so what's that you ask. It's more of a way

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Speaker 1: of thinking. It's more of a way of thinking that

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Speaker 1: blends intuition, emotional intelligence, wisdom, and basically like lived experience.

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Speaker 1: It's that fucking gut feeling you know that women have. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's clinical thinking that we're using. So it's like logic

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Speaker 1: with a libido. Basically, I can't wait to get We'll

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Speaker 1: be back, all right, y'all. So we're back and we're

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Speaker 1: talking clinical thinking today, right, So that survives gut feelings,

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Speaker 1: like the feminine intuition that not everybody has, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of times we don't even be following our shit,

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Speaker 1: but it's a real thing. You know, how you do

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Speaker 1: some shit and be like you know what I knew?

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Speaker 1: I knew better, or like you think something about somebody

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Speaker 1: and you're like, man, I knew this niggame and shit,

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Speaker 1: and you still you you ignored your clitical thinking skills.

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Speaker 2: Basically, So sometimes that clitical thinking can have you think

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Speaker 2: it wrong too.

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00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 1: I don't think so my clitical thinking be on point.

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00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: It may not. It may not.

402
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Speaker 2: Like at the very moment when you some shit happen,

403
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Speaker 2: you think back and be like, hmm, I was right.

404
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Speaker 1: I'd be fucking knowing.

405
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Speaker 2: Sometimes my clitterist has led me a strength. He didn't

406
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Speaker 2: do it. He's innocent because I love the nigga so much.

407
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 2: He did that shit. He did that shit.

408
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 1: I think that's your heart. You might have been thinking.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't the gut feeling.

410
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Speaker 2: It wasn't the gut, it was my glitteriest.

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Speaker 1: Well, maybe you need to tune yours out. Yours might

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Speaker 1: not be all I mean, yours might not be on completely.

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Speaker 2: Love struck and love struck by somebody that you kind

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Speaker 2: of like, don't pay attention to logic and reason.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, but you thought it though, right, So

416
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Speaker 1: your clitical thinking kicked in. But then I think my.

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Speaker 2: Critical thinking kicked in. But my clitical thinking.

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Speaker 1: No, the clinical thinking ain't gonna never like lead you wrong.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. It's your heart and your mind

420
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 1: that be fucking you up. The clinical thinking is that.

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00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 2: I need out of the equation. I probably would have

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Speaker 2: kept my good sense.

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Speaker 1: So what is a clinical thinker? One might ask, Right,

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Speaker 1: So it's something in my spirit that says the same, right,

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00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 1: and that's enough. That's all I really need. Right, boundaries

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00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: are just not up for debate. I don't need no

427
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,679
Speaker 1: more information I need. I know exactly what's happening. And

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Speaker 1: I picked up on it before you even put it down.

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Speaker 1: Like that's essentially what clitical thinking is. So it kind

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Speaker 1: of can be compared to like girl math a little bit. Right,

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00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: So the things that make sense to women that don't

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Speaker 1: make sense to men, because I don't think that men

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Speaker 1: think as deep as women do, almost subjects relationships life

434
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: like they claim to be super simple.

435
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 2: You just think these niggas is really fucking dumbn't it.

436
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: You know, this past weekend I kind of said that

437
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: shit to somebody a little bit, a little t.

438
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 2: T because that is.

439
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: I am not hard on men, not at all. I

440
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: don't and and really I think collective we may not

441
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: be hard enough. They think we'd be being hard, but

442
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: we really aren't. I'm not hard on men. I love men,

443
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: I love black men in.

444
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: Particular, hard on these niggas and.

445
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: You soft on niggas. I might sound like I'm hard

446
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: on them on this fucking podcast, but in real fucking life, bitch,

447
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: too hard on a nigga? Me, okay, real.

448
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 2: Life, Yeah, I'll be I'll be hard on the Okay,

449
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: I'm just talking about it, bitch. I still you give

450
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 2: a nigga more chances than for sure, That's what I'm saying.

451
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 1: So like, I'm talking about it right because the more

452
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: women talk about things, that means we are still trying.

453
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: It's when you fucking stop talking about ship is when

454
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: niggas need to be worried. I don't care about y'all niggas,

455
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: no more so, and I am I open. I open

456
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: the door for anybody to talk say about whatever they want,

457
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: say whatever they want about black women. You know, if

458
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: we have there's plenty platforms for that shit. Okay, I do.

459
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm not hard on men anyway. I do think a

460
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of them are stupid and they

461
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: think that. Huh.

462
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 2: I don't think these niggas are stupid. I just think,

463
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 2: and I think they do think as deep as us.

464
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: I don't think. I just when I say I'm harder

465
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 2: than you, I don't know. I just don't be going forward.

466
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't. That's I guess why I ain't

467
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 2: had no nigga since twenty sixteen. I ain't going for it.

468
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: When I say men are stupid. Okay, when a man

469
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 1: says he's simple, what is he actually saying? Because I

470
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: know that men are very, very very like complex, nothing

471
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: simple about him.

472
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 2: When I hear them say the simple, I don't think

473
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 2: simple minded. I think like they just want hot food

474
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: and warm cuchie and peace.

475
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 1: So one thing I listened is I'm simple. I don't

476
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: like drama, right that. That's basically like the keywords they're

477
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: actually missing there is that I want to do what

478
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: the fuck I want to do, and I want you

479
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: to shut the fuck up. Okay, When they don't like drama,

480
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: that's them not taking accountability. They don't want you.

481
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 2: They don't want to have to get into the in

482
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,360
Speaker 2: depth conversation about something they could have possibly done, or maybe.

483
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: You want something you want change in the relationship. They

484
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. They want to be

485
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: dismissive of your feelings, and they like to brush us off, like, oh,

486
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: you're so emotional. It's not like men. Men are emotional too,

487
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: Because we always say motherfucks die whenmen get emotional. So

488
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: they just to me, it's just lacking accountability, and they

489
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: can just just scapegoat. I don't want to talk about it.

490
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 1: You just full of why you're always complaining, why you

491
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: being petty? Because they don't want to take accountability for

492
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: what it is that you have a problem with.

493
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one reason why someone would say that.

494
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, because a half the time we're just asking for clarity.

495
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: So maybe you're not thinking deep enough. Right. This is

496
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: actually stemming from a conversation I had with a grown

497
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: man over the weekend. I'm like, man, I ain't calling

498
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: you no more. Cool, it's one of my friends. I'm like,

499
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: I ain't talking to you no more because he basically

500
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: told me that I'm never going to get a nigga

501
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: to do all the things I want to do because

502
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 1: I got masculine energy. He threw that shit on me.

503
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: You know, the talking points from all the red pill

504
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: niggas on these podcasts. I'm a very That's why when

505
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: you say I'm hard on man, that is just not true.

506
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 2: Like, I guess I expect what I bring, right, so

507
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 2: like and bring masculine energy.

508
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: How because I feel like to be a well.

509
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: Rounded to what you bring. You should expect from a man,

510
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 2: something different than what you're bringing. You should be bringing

511
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 2: in your feminine softness.

512
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: I feel like you got to bring both. I feel

513
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: like men should be soft sometimes too. Masculinity is not

514
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: just because this friend of mine, to him, masculinity is

515
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: like cussing his family out. That is not like that's

516
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 1: you know, men are respectful. That's not masculinity. Like men

517
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: have control, right, That to me is masculinity being in

518
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 1: control of your emotions, maybe being a little bit more

519
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: stoic and not like cussing everybody out, like wanting to

520
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 1: fight and shit like that like that, that's to me,

521
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: that's not masculinity. Masculinity is more assertive, is more calculated.

522
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: But really, those, when you think about it, are those

523
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: not feminine traits? I think women we think more critically,

524
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: right clinically, I believe.

525
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: I feel like we haven't been allowed to be our

526
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: greatest feminine selves as black women. We don't just get

527
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: to like exist, be solved and be just cared for

528
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 2: and docile. I don't ever, I don't ever remember the

529
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: women in my life being able to just live in

530
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: that type of energy and be just cared for. They're

531
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: always taking care of business, always handling everything, always responsible

532
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 2: for everybody, even the men.

533
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: And I think so now I'm more so in a

534
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: mindset is that I am now forcing you. I'm forcing

535
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: whoever I deal with to be the man I'm no longer.

536
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: But you can't force nobody, That's.

537
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: What That's what I'm saying. So right now I'm just

538
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: the fuck is just me existing? Right? So I don't

539
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: want to have to force somebody to be what it

540
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: is that whatever it is a man is, and whatever

541
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 1: masculinity actually looks like, because it's really not for women

542
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: to define, you know what I'm saying, So men have

543
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: to define it. But I know it doesn't look like

544
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: cussing your kids and wife out. That's not what the

545
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: fuck masculinity looks like. And you definitely can't talk to

546
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: me fucking crazy. So I don't know, But.

547
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 2: What are the kids and wife doing?

548
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 1: I think his shit came out of frustration because he

549
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: does everything for his family.

550
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: Okay, well then that's fair.

551
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: That's not fair, you know, you just because you are

552
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: the provider. So you mean to tell me if you

553
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: were to actually lock in a nigga who's like full

554
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: provider all your needs. He then gets to cuss you

555
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: out when he gets frustrated. If I deserve it, what

556
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: could you do to possibly deserve that.

557
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm he doing everything and I'm just being so

558
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 2: ungrateful and the kids don't listen and I'm just being

559
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 2: a bitch. Maybe I deserve to shut the fuck up, Timmy. Yes, yes, yes, daddy,

560
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 2: see you toxic. You don't believe that. Sometimes people deserve

561
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 2: they need to get cussed out.

562
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: I don't never need anybody to tell me to shut

563
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Sometimes you do who the fuck you

564
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: talking to?

565
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 2: Sometimes you need to shut the fuck up, though, no.

566
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: Never, you don't never need to shut When I need

567
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: to shut the fuck up, I don't be talking, and

568
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,959
Speaker 1: see that's just whused when I'm talking.

569
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 2: That's when you think. But sometimes other people, especially a partner,

570
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: might feel like, hey, you need to shut the fuck up.

571
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,959
Speaker 1: That's not what I've heard though in my relationships. What

572
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: I've heard in my relationships is that I be building

573
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: recal charges against niggas, Like I just let all these

574
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: things add up and then I finally say something about it.

575
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: Right now, it's the fucking problem that why didn't you

576
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: say this before? Like if I had said something every

577
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: single infraction, then I'd be nagging. So what is it

578
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: that you really want?

579
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but don't nobody want no Rico.

580
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: Nigga said, I'd be building a Rico charge. Like it's

581
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: not a Rico cases that I don't nag about every infraction,

582
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And then, especially like when

583
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: you cohabitating with somebody, you have to be cognizant and

584
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: conscious that it's not just you, right, so you gotta

585
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: you gotta make that other person comfortable and you expect

586
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: the same thing because y'all have to be in one

587
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: place forever together. So no, I'm not nagging by every

588
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: little fucking thing, right, But if one need to lead

589
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: to the next and then to the next, to the

590
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: next and next. Now by the yeah, it Rico is

591
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: fucking pending.

592
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: I'll go that's a good practice.

593
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.

594
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 2: Then. The only time I think that's a good practice

595
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: is when you stacking them up to leave. Otherwise, you

596
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: should address everything as it happens if it bothers you. Yeah,

597
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,239
Speaker 2: but let's just stacking them up to say, Hey, this

598
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: is why I'm leaving. Then don't don't pull that.

599
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: I've definitely done that too.

600
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 2: Bit y'all write a journal or a nigga.

601
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: I have a whole journal letter written say hey, this

602
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: is exactly why we're no longer. I have definitely done.

603
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 2: That because one thing I don't like is let's say

604
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: I have an issue with my man and I bring

605
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 2: him the issue, and then instead of him addressing that issue,

606
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: he goes to tell me something from last May that

607
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 2: made him mad. It's like, why didn't you tell me

608
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: when it made you mad? Why are you trying to deflect.

609
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: From one your thing today?

610
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't do that now, because you're just trying to

611
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 2: like minimize what I'm saying by something that you were

612
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 2: set about it in May and I could have corrected

613
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: that and May had you said something. But now I'm

614
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 2: just pissed off. Yeah, and nobody hearing nobody at this point.

615
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 1: So back to men saying that they're simple. Another example

616
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: of that is I'm simple. I don't need much. My

617
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: needs are basic, and that translates to feed me, fuck me, y,

618
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: let me chill, and don't ask me any questions, right,

619
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: But what's really underneath? Okay, so you know It may

620
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: seem low maintenance on the surface, but it may also

621
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: mean that they're just really suppressing like their emotions. And

622
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 1: men often say how they have nobody to talk to, right,

623
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: they don't talk to their friends, they don't talk to

624
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,720
Speaker 1: they women like, they don't tell people what they're actually

625
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: experiencing on the inside. And some may think that's masculinity, right,

626
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 1: just just dealing and not actually speaking up and saying

627
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,720
Speaker 1: when something's bothering you, when you're having a problem.

628
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 2: But I think that's not even black a man thing.

629
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 2: I think that's a black thing. We are definitely like

630
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: we just deal shit happening. We just keep going, just

631
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 2: keep pushing. That's it. Hm, talk to nobody just.

632
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't okay. So like the clitical counter, the clitical

633
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: thinking counter to that is, it doesn't mean you have

634
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 1: to be like emotionally unavailable. Do you actually know what

635
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: you need? Are you used to not even being asked

636
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: what the fuck you need? Because men ask what you

637
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: bring it to the table, But what do you need

638
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: on the table? Do you know what you need as

639
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: a man? Do you know what you need out your partner?

640
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: If you ask a man that, half the time they

641
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: don't fucking know, don't know, They don't know what they

642
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 1: want to eat, and they keep putting it on us

643
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: as if we don't know what we want to eat.

644
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: Imagine if your niggas say, uh, what you want to

645
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: eat and you be like, I don't care, just whatever

646
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: in the first place, he says you like, yeah, that

647
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: would kill that whole argument, right. It's really because they

648
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: don't know what they want to eat, so they yeah,

649
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: so they put it on us. That's a small example

650
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: of how the responsibility we so responsible for everybody.

651
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 2: But here's the thing, because I've had that happen. He'd

652
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 2: be like, what you want to eat? And I'm like,

653
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't care, and he picked something,

654
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 2: I'd be like I don't want that.

655
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: Or you pick something. He'd get there with the menu

656
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,479
Speaker 1: and like, I don't see nothing out here I want.

657
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: You had an opportunity to choose, so that shit could

658
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: go both ways. Why is the onus always on a woman?

659
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: Why I got to be concerned about your stomach and mine?

660
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 2: What do you mean, like, that's the woman's job to

661
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 2: be like the the nourishment, yeah, the nutrition for the family, not.

662
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 1: In the dating. I guess right when you.

663
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 2: If I see a whole fat family is the mama fault.

664
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: Don't kill me, y'all, don't sorry.

665
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree because I remember when one of

666
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: my sisters is she extra fine right now, chiad, but

667
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: you know she'd be letting her family stow eat bullshit

668
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: while she's dyeting. That is not okay. I need you

669
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: to make sure that they're eating whole foods as well,

670
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying. You want to be

671
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 1: the only one alive because that's what I'm seeing.

672
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

673
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: My nephew beating fucking h noodles. Them sit got eight

674
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: hundred milligrams.

675
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 2: Of sodium in it them, chit is so high they're

676
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: not even It's not even real food. I listen, if

677
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,319
Speaker 2: it was apocalypse and that was all that was left

678
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: to eat, I would just go ahead and die. I

679
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 2: cannot stay in a fucking pack of noodles because I

680
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 2: ate so much of that shit between middle school and

681
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 2: high school, I ate it everywhere you could think of it.

682
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 2: Put an egg in it, put some sausage. I even

683
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 2: ate noodles dry before, Like.

684
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 1: That's a real struggle meal. That's really disgusting.

685
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 2: It's gross. I'll never eat another noodle heck of noodles,

686
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: forget about it. I did used to like those little

687
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,479
Speaker 2: cup noodles with the peas and stuff in there, even

688
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: like those not even peas, that is three D printed piece.

689
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 2: We got the fucking people's theay old dried ass three

690
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: D shit.

691
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. So we're going to go through like

692
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 1: clinical thinking versus critical thinking so you can get better

693
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: understand where it is I'm coming from, right, So let's

694
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: break this zern real quick, because like traditional critical thinking

695
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:34,320
Speaker 1: is like spreadsheets and fucking data analytics and shit like that,

696
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: and again, like clinical thinking is based off of lived experience,

697
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 1: like your intuition. So critical thinking is like logical, objective, rational,

698
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 1: right analytical, like step by step detached from emotion. Uh

699
00:38:51,360 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: typically masculin coded clinical thinking is intuitive emotionally intelligent. Okay,

700
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: So I think that most of the most of the

701
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: people who claim to be emotional intelligent or have emotional

702
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: intelligence are probably women, right, because we do tap into

703
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 1: our emotions a little bit more. We do anticipate others,

704
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: the needs of others over ours a lot of times,

705
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. We know what you need

706
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: before you even know what you need. That's what emotional

707
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 1: intelligence is. And you know, I don't think men are

708
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 1: even programmed to think in that way, but we want

709
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: them to have all of this emotional intelligence. We think

710
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 1: that's what we want from them. I don't know. Critical

711
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 1: thinking is also like informed by patterns, just people's vibes,

712
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: past experiences, rooted in self trust and boundary setting. So

713
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: for example, say, for instance, your ex like calls you

714
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: like one o'clock in the morning. In the morning, right,

715
00:39:54,600 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: you chilling, drinking wine, listening to music. Critical thinking to

716
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: have you thinking like, I wonder what he wants, right,

717
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's if it's an emergency. Clitical thinking

718
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: would be like, man, fuck him. I'm not answering the phone.

719
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: You just block him midphone call and keep drinking a

720
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: wine and listening to music. That's political thinking. I don't

721
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,760
Speaker 1: need to know what this nick needs. I don't care. Okay,

722
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just block his ass because I already know

723
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 1: what that involves, already know what he coming for, So

724
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 1: why even engage?

725
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: Girl? I listen, that's so crazy because I one of

726
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: my old thing things.

727
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: Hot shits, what do they call him find shits just

728
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: ships one of my old one of my old shits.

729
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,280
Speaker 2: Go message me do him? Oh no on Facebook message?

730
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 2: Please why? I just need to talk to you, please

731
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:08,399
Speaker 2: and block me. So I unblocked this a motherfucker and

732
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 2: he called me and he gonna say some bullshit about

733
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 2: do my other ex nigga that he know about still

734
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: sell weed?

735
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 1: I was like, so he calling you for pluck talk? Yeah,

736
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: not you to connect. I hung up so fast, not

737
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 1: your relationship manager.

738
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 2: And reblock that nigga just as quick, like.

739
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 1: Fads, Like, nigga, what you trying to sat my other

740
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 1: nigga up?

741
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what you talk about? One ship up

742
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 2: from another ship. I ain't got nothing to do with that.

743
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 2: Put two ships together?

744
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, like and after Oftentimes they don't want nothing, right, you.

745
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 2: Don't want nothing, Leave me alone. I don't know. I

746
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 2: don't do drugs. Leave me alone.

747
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 1: Here's another example. So you've gone on like three amazing dates,

748
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 1: but your gut is uneasy. Right, So they're attractive or

749
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 1: like successful, consistent, and maybe I should keep seeing them.

750
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: But your critical thinking is he gives like love bombing, right, disappear?

751
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 1: He might disappear later, like your nervous system is on

752
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: edge fucking with this person. You just know something's.

753
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 2: Off with him.

754
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: He might have even did he probably didn't even do

755
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: anything just yet, but you just know that is your

756
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: clitical thinking skills kicking in, which could probably save your

757
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: fucking life. Because many relationships, I most relationships I've been in,

758
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: I probably should have left day one. It was some

759
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: shit that happened. I just was like, let me get

760
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: the fuck up out of here aboard mission. And I

761
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: stayed for a couple of years.

762
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: But here's nobody's gonna be perfect, though, So it's okay

763
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 2: to like ignore something, mind is.

764
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: It, though? Because if we look at the data of

765
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: these relationships, is it good to ignore? I mean, if I.

766
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 2: Don't want to say directions like you don't like I

767
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: hate too, you know, sit like that. You can get

768
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 2: past that, all right, or you can groom that into

769
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 2: something else.

770
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: But if you see that is the problem, y'all. Bitch,

771
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 1: Just thinking y'all could change people At this big age,

772
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: people do change. I don't agree people mass you feel like.

773
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 2: You're the same person you was when we started this show.

774
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 1: Uh No, you've grown listen, but so growing and changing.

775
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: Are those the same thing? Is that the same thing?

776
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: Yes?

777
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: Because I really I've been literally the same person, and

778
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: even like no, let me, let me not lie because

779
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,280
Speaker 1: I'd be reading some like some of my old Facebook

780
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 1: shit and Twitter shit. I had to delete that stuff,

781
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: like what the fuck was I talking about?

782
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 2: You're dumb?

783
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: What you talking about?

784
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 2: You got to say? We're changing and growing every day.

785
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: So just even the I just went and listened to

786
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 2: like our first episode, I'm like super Hero like night

787
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:30,439
Speaker 2: or some bullshit. I was saying, what did you talk about? Ass?

788
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, so people do change, People do grow people

789
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 2: and men too, especially when they start they did stop

790
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 2: working as good, they really start changing.

791
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: Then it's interesting they have daughters.

792
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 2: They start changing when they had little girls. Stuff like

793
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 2: that will change a man. But don't nothing them change

794
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 2: them worse than they did stopping.

795
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: Looky humble them a little bit.

796
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that Dick's change up or the desires.

797
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's true, because I feel

798
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: like they still be wanting to put that gummy worm

799
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: on a bitch, like just still just getting a new

800
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: bitch to show her the gummy worm. It's still exciting

801
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: to them. They don't care about being embarrassed. They retired

802
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 1: that wet rag. They just want to stuff it in

803
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: as many bitches as possible. All right, So like a

804
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: friend keeps subtly throwing shade critical thinking, maybe I'm just

805
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: being too sensitive. Let me watch a few more interactions

806
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: to confirm clinical thinking. That comment hit sideways. She's not

807
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:48,319
Speaker 1: for me. Distance activated. You know what time it is like,

808
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 1: don't trick yourself into thinking somebody ain't doing what they're doing.

809
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 1: I have been around people where somebody says some sideways shit.

810
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna address it right then and there, because I

811
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: have lit things like sliding get home, like saying I

812
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: should have, would have, could have, and I'd be disappointed

813
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 1: with myself, like damn, I should have. I should have

814
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: fucking cussed that bitch out. I should have Da da

815
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: da da da.

816
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 2: It's a hitch from two thousand. It was twenty twelve

817
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 2: that I still think about because her mother fucking NaNs

818
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 2: out and I let some shit she said slide, and

819
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: I used to regret it right to day, I still

820
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 2: like I be laying in bed like I should have

821
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 2: if I fire a bitch to this day.

822
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 1: Look, I have a first cousin that I don't fuck

823
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 1: with on any level in my mind right because of

824
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 1: it might have been around like it might have been

825
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: earlier in twenty twelve. Did I even tell you all

826
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: this story? So my cousin asked me to be in

827
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:47,280
Speaker 1: her wedding.

828
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you just share no hold on.

829
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: She didn't ask me to be in her wedding. She

830
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: asked me to be the usher. Yeah, okay, this is

831
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 1: my first cousin. So imagine you living in Atlanta and

832
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: a bitch you asking you to come to South Carolina

833
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 1: to come to her wedding, but be an usher. Right.

834
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: So when I thought about it, I'm like, I don't

835
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: think I want to do that. I talked to my

836
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: mom about it. She was like, girl, you don't want

837
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: be no usher? So I called her back. I said, hey,

838
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: you know what I think I prefer just like attending

839
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 1: the wedding, right girl? Why I got to the U.

840
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 1: She had a bridal shower, and I guess her maid

841
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: of honor. Her bestie was like the spokesperson for the

842
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: shit they had spoke about me, and she was introducing

843
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: each of us. She introduced my sister Sam first. She's like, yes,

844
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: my cousin Sam. This is my cousin introducing us to

845
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: her maid of honor. And this is my cousin Sam,

846
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: and this is Ashley and the homegirl these aka bitches too.

847
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: The homegirl was like, oh, she's not in the wedding,

848
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: she's not a bridesmaid, usher or anything. And my voice

849
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 1: literally was gone, y'all, I have fucking like laryngitis or

850
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: something like I had no voice, so imagine me. I

851
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: would sound like this trying to curse the bitch out.

852
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: But this is how my cousin let some random bitch

853
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: play with me. My cousin barely know my fucking life,

854
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: and I'm still holding a grudge to this day. I

855
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: still want to have that conversation with her because I'm

856
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 1: trying to figure out why the fuck y'all thought y'all

857
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: could play on me just because I didn't want to

858
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: serve food to my family at this big, immaculate wedding, Like,

859
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: why would you try to like downgrade me to a

860
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 1: fucking server? Am I tripping? Y'all?

861
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

862
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: Girl, So my best friend at the time, she was

863
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 1: dating my first cousin's brother, so she's dating my cousin.

864
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: She ended up doing it with she ended up doing

865
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: it instead. They were black and white like a fucking waitress,

866
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: and she had people from the church doing it. Why

867
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: did you need me to do that?

868
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: So you were the only family member that was gonna

869
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: be an usher?

870
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, my other cousins was bridemaids. Why do I

871
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 1: don't want to and I live I live at a

872
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: town we barely speak, Like your mind told you to

873
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 1: call me to do that, And it's not like I like.

874
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 2: Maybe cooking and wanted you to help with the food.

875
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: Imagine like one of these Instagram weddings. That's how her

876
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: reception looked. I mean, big long rolls of full like

877
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 1: all this food, like these ushers. That the thing that

878
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,840
Speaker 1: she wanted me to do, what my best friend was

879
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: doing was serving food to our family with a black

880
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 1: and white outfit on Why would you have your first

881
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 1: cousin doing that?

882
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 2: So I get that in the event that no family

883
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 2: was working, then I get while I was like, why

884
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 2: are you only ask me and you got people outside

885
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 2: of the family doing everything, but I'm the only family member.

886
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: But then you came with people, it came with staff.

887
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 2: It was just like I need my family to help

888
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 2: assist to make this they beautiful. Then I would not

889
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 2: mind a mind doing that. I wouldn't mind being an

890
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 2: usher because it's not about me. It's about her, her

891
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 2: beautiful day, and this is my cousin. I want her

892
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 2: to have a beautiful day, so I will I'll help

893
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 2: because when it's my turn, I'm gonna need everybody in

894
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 2: this stand.

895
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 1: I would never call my first cousin and ask her

896
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: to serve food at my wedding. I would never do

897
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: that to her if it was that's a grading. That's

898
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: how I felt. That was highly degrading, Like I'm your

899
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:28,359
Speaker 1: first cousin, Like, why would you want me serving food

900
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 1: to our family?

901
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 2: Families? Families do that though family.

902
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, this ain't even no bullshit wedding though, See you're

903
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,919
Speaker 1: not thinking on the scale, I said, one of these

904
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: Instagram fucking wedding is the ship was immaculate. Why and

905
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: I bought the fucking beautiful dress to wear to her wedding?

906
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 2: That's it because it wasn't like that. It wasn't like

907
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: a situation where the whole family was, you know, yah.

908
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: Pitching it and helping. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't

909
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: nothing like that. My homegirl was fucking pissed the whole

910
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: time because she didn't know what all It wouldn't tell

911
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 1: either when she is stept the position as an usher. Yeah,

912
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: and she was serving us food. That's that's fucked up

913
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,719
Speaker 1: to have your brother's girlfriend, who should be his date

914
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: at your wedding doing that. But because they used to

915
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: have a problem with her, because they my uncle, their

916
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 1: dad never really fucked me. I mean from a little girl.

917
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 2: He would say shit like me, oh hair cousin is

918
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: glamor queen like still to this date, that's how you

919
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 2: treat me.

920
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: So I feel like that kind of rubbed off on

921
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:31,280
Speaker 1: like his kids and how they see me. Well, maybe

922
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,879
Speaker 1: not my boy cousins, but it's something there. So yeah,

923
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: I still have like, yeah, some anna, I have some

924
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: anna about that.

925
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: Have you seen this cousin?

926
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,320
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But I just feel like now I can't address

927
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 1: it because then it would be petty. But it bothers

928
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: you very seventeen years and divorce's so married, So I like,

929
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: I just gotta let it go. But I'm telling y'all

930
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 1: because like, who the fuck else I'm gonna.

931
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 2: Tell that she happened to the show about it.

932
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 1: And then we'll talk about it at that time. And

933
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 1: you know what the worst thing about it is people

934
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: do things and then when you address it, they I

935
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 1: don't even remember that, yeah, because you weren't on the

936
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:15,360
Speaker 1: receiving end of the bullshit.

937
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 2: But sometimes people don't even know that they're offending you.

938
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 2: So that's why it's important to address it, like I didn't.

939
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: I don't remember it because I didn't know it was

940
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:23,439
Speaker 2: a thing.

941
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: Oh she's not a bridesmaid usher or anything. Why do

942
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 1: you ask my sister that?

943
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 2: Right? It was introduced right before me. They had That's

944
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 2: what I fucking know.

945
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 1: And this is what clinical thinking is, right, It's just

946
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: you knowing the bullshit. It can't nobody tell you any different, bitch,

947
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: because it's a gut feeling. It is an inner knowing

948
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 1: that cannot be fucking debated. I'm not tripping, y'all. Bitches

949
00:52:54,960 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: tried me. Y'all really tried it. So I was never

950
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 1: able to address it. So I still that shit might

951
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: have been two thousand and nine, bitch, I'm go, lie,

952
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 1: I much g lie. It might have been like two

953
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 1: thousand and nine. I still feel some type of way

954
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 1: about that shit, because why did I deserve that? That's

955
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: what bothers.

956
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: Me when people the fuck you think you are, you

957
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 2: fly ass dish coming up in here, think you go

958
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 2: upstage the bride. You ain't gonna do that this time, bitch,

959
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 2: serve out that chicken ho that's what you're gonna do.

960
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, here's my personality. When I tell y'all,

961
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: when I get married, y'all motherfuckers better show up like this,

962
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 1: y'all wedding. That's how I feel. That's how confident I

963
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,919
Speaker 1: am about myself. I know that's where that bullshit came from, right,

964
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: them not wanting me to show up in all my

965
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: mother fucking glory but for my wedding. Bitch, if you

966
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: were the wedding party, if you just a wedding, guess

967
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 1: when I tell y'all, y'all better act like this, y'all

968
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 1: shit for birthdays. I want everybody to be extra fucking fine.

969
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 1: I never like one of those people do don't want

970
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: their friends to outdress them on their fucking birthday. That

971
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 1: is weird.

972
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 2: O't behave to care about my birthday, but aren't my wedding.

973
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 2: Please don't come in a white dress.

974
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: I don't care.

975
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 2: Don't come in here wed bit your whole ass and

976
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 2: should have having a white dress anyway, you don't wear one, bitch,

977
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 2: wear a black dress my wedding. I don't be like,

978
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:16,880
Speaker 2: do you hate me?

979
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 1: Because yeah, but it's never going to like a wedding

980
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 1: gown though, you know what I'm saying. So even if

981
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 1: somebody were to have on a white dress, it's never

982
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 1: going to like a wedding gown.

983
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 2: Tacky ass bitch coming in a white dress to a wedding,

984
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,320
Speaker 2: I'll be I'll be like, this is an all white wedding.

985
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 2: Why are you here? Are you trying to give your

986
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 2: man a message? Propos bitch?

987
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 1: Maybe and listen it's all open over here. Yes, do that.

988
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 1: And if you feel beautiful today, I want everybody to

989
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: feel good.

990
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 2: But I don't want you to be tacky. Don't be

991
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 2: taking I don't think that's tacking. Don't be attagging. Bitch.

992
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: I invited you because I didn't think you were one,

993
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 2: and here you come being one.

994
00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

995
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:03,920
Speaker 2: You can listen where anything where motherfucking tied out to this, motherfucker.

996
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 2: Don't come in white.

997
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 1: Leave like a black tie event. No white even black tie,

998
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: no white.

999
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 2: No, no white dress. You can have a dress with

1000
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 2: white in it with you.

1001
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 1: I want everybody look back to you and escorting me

1002
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 1: out of the winds. I got uninvited. And after she

1003
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 1: showed up.

1004
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 2: Right, the bride will call you later. That's what they're

1005
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 2: gonna tell you as you leave out. The mother bitch.

1006
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: I don't want it all these years to get married.

1007
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 2: You come into my ship in a white dress. You

1008
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 2: gotta be fucked up.

1009
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 1: But there's no way for her to look like you

1010
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 1: though on that day. That's how I'm confused. No, you're

1011
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: damn right you won't because you won't, y'all, head at

1012
00:55:58,440 --> 00:55:59,320
Speaker 1: you've been mourned.

1013
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 2: Yes, it advans, but I think all my friends know

1014
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 2: that they got sense enough to know not to come

1015
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 2: to a wedding in a white dress unless it's all

1016
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 2: white wedding where some people have that where everybody comes

1017
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 2: in white, which I don't like that either. Yeah, but yeah,

1018
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 2: don't do that.

1019
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: Look at your little ponytails up in the riverside picture.

1020
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 1: You see it, all right, So y'all, Clitical thinking doesn't

1021
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 1: mean ignore logic at all, right, So it just adds

1022
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 1: like an extra layer of protection, Okay. Emotional wisdom pattern

1023
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: recognition based on just the fucking truth, right, It's just

1024
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: you know, that's intelligence too. So don't let anybody tell

1025
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 1: you that you making shit up, that it's just feelings,

1026
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: or that you overreacting, bitch. You know what you know,

1027
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 1: and that's clinical thinking. So it's not over analyzing everything.

1028
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,720
Speaker 1: Is not ignoring facts of feelings or facts four feelings,

1029
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: I should say. Or it's just not like just being pest,

1030
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: petty or sassy. It's just recognizing the patterns again, knowing

1031
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 1: your fucking gut and trusting that inner feeling. That's it.

1032
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 1: That is what clitical thinking is. Hat's coming soon, all right.

1033
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 1: So you know what I do want people to do.

1034
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 1: I want y'all to send me, send me some send

1035
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 1: us some messages, uh with like your best Uh? He

1036
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 1: said he was simple, but stories. That's what I want

1037
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: to see, Like mint, When what did a man tell you?

1038
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,440
Speaker 1: Like he said, I'm simple, but such and such and

1039
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 1: how did he actually act? Right? All men say that

1040
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 1: they're simple and they have these minimal needs. I want

1041
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: to hear the stories.

1042
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 2: Let's hear it. Let's hear that, because.

1043
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: Them niggas ain't simple anyway, You good, Tammy?

1044
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1045
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: Last, all right, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all

1046
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 1: tune in every Thursday and a black Effect. iHeart radio

1047
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 1: w app whatever the fuck you get your podcast that

1048
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 1: This show co hosts a j holiday. On instagrams, y'all, follow, subscribe, share,

1049
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 1: share the podcast with your besties. Leave a review if

1050
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:34,479
Speaker 1: you're feeling froggy. I wish I could fucking comment back

1051
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: on reviews, but it's all welcome. Thank you. We want

1052
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: we want the listeners, we want the spens.

1053
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, y'all sofiicial team BAM. I love y'all

1054
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 2: so much. Remember speak now.

1055
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:51,479
Speaker 1: And never hold your motherfucker piece. Okay, never never hold

1056
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: your gut feelings. Click some clip notes.

1057
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 2: Yes,