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Speaker 1: We're watching memories disappear in front of us. Everything we

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Speaker 1: thought was solid and true and consistent was going to

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Speaker 1: dramatically change.

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Speaker 2: Chris Hemsworth, Welcome to On Purpose.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 2: It's great to be here. We're in Byron Is that's

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Speaker 2: me specific. Soya come to Byron to interview you, and

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Speaker 2: I was just sharing with you. When I first started

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Speaker 2: the show, you were on that top list of people

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Speaker 2: I wanted to sit down with. So it took me

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Speaker 2: seven years to get to Byron Bay. Thank you, But

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Speaker 2: I'm really really grateful. So it's such a fan of

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Speaker 2: your work. I loved watching your interviews, felt felt just

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Speaker 2: a connection to what you're doing. And then as you've

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Speaker 2: gone into this world of Limitless and now this incredible

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Speaker 2: documentary with your father, it's such a phenomenal evolution from

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Speaker 2: the authentic version of you that I feel we've always

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Speaker 2: got to see in interviews.

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Speaker 1: So oh appreciate it. Yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, really really special.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I love the show and I'm glad you could

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Speaker 1: make it out of here and we could do this

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Speaker 1: in my hometown through Shiful Well.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to dive right in because in the dock

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Speaker 2: we get such a up close and personal feel of

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Speaker 2: who you are, your family, your parents, and I love

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Speaker 2: understanding how people became who they were. So the first

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Speaker 2: question is what's a childhood memory that you have that

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Speaker 2: you feel defines who you are today, that feels like

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Speaker 2: it is such a strong part of your personality today.

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Speaker 1: What you see in the documentary is the road trip

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Speaker 1: my dad and I take back to the community that

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Speaker 1: we grew up in, this indigenous community, Dolden Territory in

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Speaker 1: the outback of Australia, and they were definitely my most

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Speaker 1: vivid earliest memories. I have trouble remembering kind of years

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Speaker 1: earlier than that and years after that, you know, because

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Speaker 1: I think one it was so starkally different to the

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Speaker 1: environment in Melbourne where I grew up, but I think

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Speaker 1: there was it had such a profound impact on me

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Speaker 1: due to for so many reasons, the connection with that

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Speaker 1: and that the people in that community. The experience itself

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Speaker 1: was so dramatically different to anything as I'd done, but

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Speaker 1: the immersion within that that that in indigenous culture in Australia,

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Speaker 1: and having feeling this sort of influence from the I

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Speaker 1: guess the sort of traditional way of life that they

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Speaker 1: embodied and the welcoming we received in that town I

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Speaker 1: still have when I think about who I am and

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Speaker 1: my appreciation and sense of gratitude and place in the world. Definitely,

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Speaker 1: I'm brought back to that period of my life. Trying

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Speaker 1: to think of a sort of a single sort of

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Speaker 1: thing for you, but that that period of time for

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Speaker 1: me is the most, the most vivid.

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Speaker 2: And what images flash in your mind when you're thinking

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Speaker 2: about that time.

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Speaker 1: Is it not owning a pair of shoes, not having

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Speaker 1: a TV, being the only white kid, and an indigenous

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Speaker 1: school buffalo walking down the street, being five hours drive

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Speaker 1: from the nearest shops. You know, it was like a

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Speaker 1: little remote community in the middle of the outback, and

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Speaker 1: but how normal it all felt, you know. And to

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Speaker 1: be sort of thrust back into that environment now would

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Speaker 1: be sort of a shock to the system in many ways.

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Speaker 1: But that was as familiar and comfortable and organic as

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Speaker 1: sort of anything I've ever felt. And you know that

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Speaker 1: I see photographs now that prompt instant sort of visceral

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Speaker 1: feelings and a deep sort of nostalgia and warmth and happiness,

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Speaker 1: you know, in a sense of connection, because that was

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Speaker 1: you know, he lives in a tent at one point,

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Speaker 1: you know, with my parents and my older brother. We

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Speaker 1: then lived in a sort of a very older, sort

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Speaker 1: of run down house. But it was it was as

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Speaker 1: you know, wonderful of a childhood as you could ask for.

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Speaker 1: You know, there was no it was sort of boundless,

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Speaker 1: the opportunities where the imagination could go, and the sort

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Speaker 1: of the physical experience. You know, it was again unlike

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Speaker 1: kind of anything else I've had since then. You know,

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Speaker 1: it was sort of Peter Pan quality to that sense

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Speaker 1: of fantasy and adventure that was instilled in us from

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Speaker 1: that age, but that that environment definitely awoken in us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I guess when you're living here, you don't

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Speaker 2: know how specially it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think like all of our experiences that you know, there,

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Speaker 1: the norm is what is in front of you, you know,

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Speaker 1: and if I had something to compare it with at

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Speaker 1: the time, I may have, but it was that was

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Speaker 1: my way of life. And then it was kind of

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Speaker 1: a shock coming back to Melbourne and adapting into I

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Speaker 1: guess the world that a suburban neighborhood, you know, structured

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Speaker 1: sort of you know town that we lived in and

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Speaker 1: catching the bus to school and the train and all

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Speaker 1: the sort of the usual things that for me was

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Speaker 1: an adaptation that was I remember kind of going, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is this is very different to where we had

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Speaker 1: sort of where we'd come from.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your dad in the documentary says that as a

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Speaker 2: kid you would say I'm going to Hollywood. Yeah, I'll

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Speaker 2: go to Hollywood. Where did that come from? From this

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Speaker 2: world that you grew up in.

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Speaker 1: I think part of it was growing up in Northern

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Speaker 1: Territory because there was this sort of sense of adventure

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Speaker 1: instilled in me then, and I remember my dad reading

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Speaker 1: Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit to me and

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Speaker 1: my mum as well, and that sense of sort of

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Speaker 1: fantasy and imagination awakened through through a sort of a

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Speaker 1: very big cultural difference. But also I think being outdoors,

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Speaker 1: you know, the opportunity for not boredom, but not being

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Speaker 1: continuously stimulated and entertained like we asked it of nowadays

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Speaker 1: with devices and so on, there was I guess being

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Speaker 1: in that environment awoke something in me that I still

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Speaker 1: now either try and get back to or when I

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Speaker 1: do attach myself to it, it ignites that sense of

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Speaker 1: fantasy and that sense of adventure. But through reading books

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Speaker 1: and then when we moved back to Melbourne. Every weekend

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Speaker 1: was you know, we would go to the movies, or

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Speaker 1: we would hire a film, or we'd go on hikes

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Speaker 1: and we'd go surfing and we go camping. And I

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Speaker 1: remember from a very young age not wanting to be

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Speaker 1: an actor, but wanting to be one of those characters

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Speaker 1: in one of those films, one of those books. And

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Speaker 1: the closest thing I could be to, you know, an

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Speaker 1: elf in The Lord of the Rings, pressed up and

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Speaker 1: played one in a movie, or the closest thing I could,

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Speaker 1: you know, get to as far as antigalactic travel or

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Speaker 1: something was playing the character in that movie. And I

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Speaker 1: guess it was sort of sort of an escapism of sorts,

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Speaker 1: but not that I was escaping from anything. I didn't

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Speaker 1: to be a part of it was it kept me captivated,

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Speaker 1: you know, and still does. The transportation to other worlds

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Speaker 1: and inhabiting other characters and other spaces, it's yeah, and

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Speaker 1: it sort of it comes from a different each film

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Speaker 1: and each character I sort of I look at and

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Speaker 1: that sort of journey I embark on. There's a sort

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Speaker 1: of a real organic attachment to it. As far as

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I'm seeking out that character as much

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Speaker 1: as they sort of arrive. And then as you sort

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Speaker 1: of fall into a character or fall into a film,

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Speaker 1: it then sort of takes on a life of its

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Speaker 1: own and takes it to places that I think you

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Speaker 1: just have to be open to, you know, interpretation, but

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Speaker 1: open for the journey.

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Speaker 2: You mean by playing a character. Yeah, it opens up

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Speaker 2: a different mindset or different for sure.

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Speaker 1: It probes different parts of your soul or psyche. And

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Speaker 1: there's a premeditated sort of a proach and a sort

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Speaker 1: of calculated approach, and then there's an absolute sort of

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Speaker 1: demolishing of all that preparation and surrendering to the process.

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Speaker 1: And then and that's the part. I love you, and

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Speaker 1: you only get that through an extreme amount of preparation, yes,

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Speaker 1: and calculation, but then the letting go portion of it,

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Speaker 1: and which is where the risk is involved. But then

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Speaker 1: that for me, is where the greatest adventure occurs, is

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Speaker 1: through kind of really leaning in and really surrendering to

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Speaker 1: the experience.

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Speaker 2: That rings true. I had the fortune of sitting with

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Speaker 2: Kobe Bryant before he sadly passed away on the show,

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Speaker 2: and he talked about how structure leads to spontaneity. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was that discipline, as you're saying, leads to the

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Speaker 2: ultimate ability to be free and surrender. But as I

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Speaker 2: hear you say, I'm wondering, it's obviously not something that

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Speaker 2: you mathematically strategically access because you're saying, it's happening in

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Speaker 2: this really natural, authentic way where it leads you. What

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Speaker 2: roles made you feel that way or which one are

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Speaker 2: the ones that have a strong memory for that for

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Speaker 2: you where you went, oh wow, this led me to

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Speaker 2: a place I didn't imagine it would.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting because I sort of I think

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Speaker 1: I undulate from the extreme analytical, over ruminating, calculated analysis

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Speaker 1: of something and then into the sort of you know,

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Speaker 1: more sort of mad scientist, you know, intuitive sort of approach,

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Speaker 1: but they go hand in hand, you know. The sort

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Speaker 1: of the polarity between the two I find is really helpful.

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Speaker 1: And I'd say the film with George Miller, part of

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Speaker 1: the Mad Max series called Furiosa, and that, for me

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Speaker 1: was was probably the greatest example of that kind of

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Speaker 1: character taking over and being led into a place which

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Speaker 1: you didn't plan for. But it only the sort of

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Speaker 1: improvisational portion of it or the experimentation of it, or

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Speaker 1: the you know, throw caution of the wind and just

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Speaker 1: leap in. The first came from months and months, or

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Speaker 1: actually a couple of years, because I had read the

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Speaker 1: script two years before, and while I was doing other films,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about that character. It began to sort

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Speaker 1: of infect my thoughts in a daily and to the

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Speaker 1: point where I had to kind of try and put

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Speaker 1: it aside because I had to get back to the

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Speaker 1: film I was currently on. I was talking to George

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Speaker 1: Miller about that, and he goes, well, selfishly, I don't mind,

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Speaker 1: you know, you can give our character more of that.

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Speaker 1: And it was the first time I kind of started

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Speaker 1: journaling as the character and started doing a you know,

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Speaker 1: he was a pretty ugly, villainous individual on paper and

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Speaker 1: on screen as well, I guess, but I had to

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Speaker 1: find a way to sort of understand and empathize with

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Speaker 1: his position and from his point of view, he was

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Speaker 1: the heros and you know, everyone's And so by the

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Speaker 1: time I got to set everything that i'd sort of

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Speaker 1: planned began to fall away, and each day was again

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Speaker 1: kind of an experiment and a real sort of deep

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Speaker 1: dive into the psyche of this individual and what were

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Speaker 1: the sort of justifications for his actions which were perceived

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Speaker 1: from one angle as you know, horrific, but from his

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Speaker 1: angle and his position, from where his people were standing,

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Speaker 1: Survival of the fittest, And yeah, I've had that a

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Speaker 1: few times in my career, but that certainly stands out

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Speaker 1: is one of the biggest ones.

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Speaker 2: I feel like there's so much empathy in becoming an

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Speaker 2: actor because you're trying to understand this character that you

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Speaker 2: don't know, but you have to kind of get to know,

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Speaker 2: and you may not feel what they feel. One of

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Speaker 2: my friends is an acting coach in La and I.

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Speaker 2: He invited me to just go watch one of his

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Speaker 2: sessions with actors at night. So I went to see

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Speaker 2: him a couple of weeks ago, and I was just like,

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Speaker 2: if anyone feels lonely, they should just go to an

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Speaker 2: acting class. Like everyone was so encouraging of each other,

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Speaker 2: and there's this real camaraderie that everyone had and everyone

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Speaker 2: give each other feedback, and all of it was about

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Speaker 2: dissecting character and emotion feeling, and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 2: I've learned more from this than you know about human

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Speaker 2: emotion and about human potential sure and depth. Then you

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Speaker 2: would going to a class because there's so much study,

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Speaker 2: and there's so many layers, and there's so many And

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Speaker 2: as I'm hearing you talk about it, I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's such a But it sounds like you love that,

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Speaker 2: Like it sounds like a lot of yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've always had a big interest in psychology

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Speaker 1: and understanding us sort of in a workings of soul

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Speaker 1: and our psyche and us a human beings and we

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Speaker 1: interact with one another and nature versus nurture and the

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Speaker 1: how and why of it all. And for me, there's

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Speaker 1: just something therapeutic about the experience of acting and putting

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Speaker 1: on the clothes of a completely different individual and having

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Speaker 1: the chance to look at the world through a different lens.

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Speaker 1: And I see that as a real gift you compared

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Speaker 1: to a lot of sort of I guess you know,

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Speaker 1: our working life. It is. There's just an abundance of

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Speaker 1: creativity and exploration there which which I find, you know,

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Speaker 1: incredibly helpful, just even I mean from each character I

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Speaker 1: find I come out, whether or not I agree with

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Speaker 1: the character or not, I've been able to sit in

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Speaker 1: their shoes for a moment and look at the world

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Speaker 1: in a different way, and I think there's a sort

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Speaker 1: of humility that's forced upon you in that sense, which

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Speaker 1: I find I find a really interesting sort of experiment,

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Speaker 1: and as you've been pointed out, I think very healthy

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Speaker 1: for all of us to do. You know, I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of directors that you know, have never acted,

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Speaker 1: and it scares the hell out of them, but they

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Speaker 1: go and do acting classes for that reason, to understand

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Speaker 1: the psychology, also understand how you're going to come at

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Speaker 1: this character or what the position is that you might take,

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Speaker 1: and as opposed to standing on this side of the

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Speaker 1: fence and making assumptions, stepping into those different environments certainly,

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Speaker 1: and it gives you a greater sense of agency. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Has there ever been a character you played where you

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Speaker 2: felt I wish that one didn't rub off on me

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Speaker 2: or left with you there?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's I find that it's not that the

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Speaker 1: lines get blurred. But I've been in im press too.

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Speaker 1: Was defending my character and then we tapped on the

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Speaker 1: shoulder and like the guy killed a bunch of people.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, besides that part, and so it's sort

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Speaker 1: of I don't think the state I will get myself

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Speaker 1: in for certain characters through the day a very heightened

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Speaker 1: sort of fight or flight type state where I am

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Speaker 1: there's a sort of feels like there's electricity running through

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Speaker 1: my bones, and you've especially when there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: dialogue and there's a lot of reaction, a lot of

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Speaker 1: lot going on, that I find very hard to switch off.

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Speaker 1: It's not so much the character that I'm trying to shake,

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Speaker 1: it's the energy that's required to play that character, and

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Speaker 1: I find it with one of the hardest things to

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Speaker 1: the high to come off is improvisational sort of comedy,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I remember doing then when we did Ragnarok,

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of that in there, and it

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Speaker 1: was a very new version of the character, and I

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Speaker 1: would get in there's sort of ecstatic sort of you know,

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Speaker 1: electrified state and be kind of drinking coffee and red

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Speaker 1: Bull and slam and you know, energy drink to try

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Speaker 1: and elevate that more. And then it was like I'd

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Speaker 1: have to kind of rein that in and get home

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Speaker 1: and I'd just be sort of twitching and try to

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Speaker 1: come off that. So I find that the residual effect

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Speaker 1: of the state of the character more so than the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more about getting into characters.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because you could put that that that I don't

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Speaker 1: necessarily have to believe I am the you know, leader

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Speaker 1: of an army or whatever. It's more what would I

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Speaker 1: feel in that situation that you then embody and then

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Speaker 1: that sort of takes out.

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Speaker 2: That's fascinating to hear. Yeah, yeah, but the jitters are real.

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Speaker 2: Like that's like you've talked before about this idea of

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Speaker 2: how your acting career has actually brought on huge anxiety, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and stress. Where where's that come from?

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Speaker 1: I remember when I when I first started acting, I

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Speaker 1: had it immediately once I sort of locked into the

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Speaker 1: idea that I was going to become an actor. It

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Speaker 1: was an absolute obsession, that was an addiction. It was

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Speaker 1: all I talked about it. That was sort of there

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Speaker 1: was no shadow of a doubt that was what I

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Speaker 1: was going to do, and there was a ignorance and

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Speaker 1: a naivety that was there about the reality of how

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Speaker 1: difficult that was going to be. But you need a

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Speaker 1: fair amount of madness, I think, to sort of excel

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Speaker 1: in any space, there needs to be a certain amount

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Speaker 1: of absolute, deeply profound sort of commitment to it. You know,

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Speaker 1: you talk about Kobe Bryant and anyone in phys excelled

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Speaker 1: in in their field, and you know a number of

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Speaker 1: sports players and individuals that I looked to that's sort

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Speaker 1: of on the spectrum in some sense. You know that

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Speaker 1: there's a sort of a mastery there which is otherworldly,

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Speaker 1: but it does require a sort of an insane dedication

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Speaker 1: to it. So I remember when I was finishing high school,

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Speaker 1: it became this obsession that was all I was going

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Speaker 1: to do and everything I was going to do from

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Speaker 1: it was I was going to help pay off my parents' house.

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Speaker 1: I was going to do this. I was going to

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Speaker 1: do that. I was going to take care of my

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Speaker 1: family and friends, and oh, you know a little of

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Speaker 1: the amazing things I could do. And every time I

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Speaker 1: go into a job, as small as it was and inconsequential,

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Speaker 1: in my mind was like, if I screw up this

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Speaker 1: one scene, then it will somehow make its way to

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Speaker 1: Hollywood from Australia and I'll never get a job again

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Speaker 1: if I strew up this one audition, And it was

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Speaker 1: that kind of pressure. It was I was thinking ten

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Speaker 1: years ahead. And then from the time I got onto

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Speaker 1: Home and Away, which was to be big, so proper

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Speaker 1: alongest running proper in Australia, which I flew into that

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Speaker 1: experience with enthusiasm and excitement, and I was it was

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Speaker 1: great for a couple of months, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I was hit with this wave of anxiety because I

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Speaker 1: was looking at the outcome rather than the sort of process,

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Speaker 1: and I was looking at the I'm doing it for

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Speaker 1: this reason, and that resonate rather than being in the

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Speaker 1: moment in the present, and it really detracted from what

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Speaker 1: I was doing each day, and it would be the

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Speaker 1: last thing I'd think about before I go to bed

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Speaker 1: was what scenes I'd screwed up and how I should

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Speaker 1: have done this, I should have done that, And as

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Speaker 1: soon as i'd wake up, it'd be like a shot

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Speaker 1: of adrenaline about what I was going to screw up.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know. I think it became from a

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Speaker 1: sort of expecting too much of myself, which is there's

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Speaker 1: a slight sort of contradiction to that too, because as

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Speaker 1: I said, it requires that obsessive, you know, addictive sort

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Speaker 1: of concentration, but it's the ability to sort of hold

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Speaker 1: that obsession and that absolute need and want for it

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Speaker 1: to achieve something great that you want to achieve, and

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Speaker 1: then at the same time to completely let it go

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Speaker 1: and not care. And so I had to do this

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Speaker 1: strange dance around trying to convince myself I didn't care,

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Speaker 1: but in the preparation time to motivate myself, I would

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Speaker 1: have to care a hell of a lot. And so

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Speaker 1: it's sort of the you know, the the two voices,

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Speaker 1: the Jacqueline Hyed version of oneself that is sort of

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Speaker 1: both need to be kept in check. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's your purpose pulls you, your fear pushes you. There's

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Speaker 1: a sort of strange balance with the two extremes I

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Speaker 1: find useful but also terrifying when not kept in check.

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Speaker 1: And and that sat with me for years, that anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember I've talked about this in a

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Speaker 1: couple of interviews, but reading a few books around performance

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Speaker 1: anxiety specifically, and looking at different sports players and musicians

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Speaker 1: and people who performed at a high level of public speaking,

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Speaker 1: and they took their all their sort of measurements, you know,

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Speaker 1: the physical sort of response responses prior to these engagements,

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Speaker 1: and said are you scared or are you excited? And

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Speaker 1: whether you know half the group was in this category,

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Speaker 1: half isn't excited. The physical response was exactly you same

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Speaker 1: across the board, elevated heart rate, all the things you know,

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Speaker 1: you would imagine. So it was about the sort of

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Speaker 1: the takeaway was it was about an interpretation to that feeling.

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Speaker 1: And so when I would have nervous energy come up

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Speaker 1: and all those things that at one point I would

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Speaker 1: signal myself for fear, I to just narrate that in

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Speaker 1: a different sense and say, oh no, this is my

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Speaker 1: signaling for excitement. This is not my signaling for fear.

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Speaker 1: And again that's I still have to keep that in check,

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Speaker 1: and it sort of out of know where, it will

381
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Speaker 1: take me down one path or the other, and I've

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Speaker 1: got to kind of wrangle my way back to the

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Speaker 1: preferred place, which is which is that the enthusiastic is sited.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's fascinating about that, as I'm hearing you say,

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Speaker 2: is it actually makes you better at what you do. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like that pressure it sounds like that you were putting

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Speaker 2: on yourself when you're doing home in a way, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: even though it wasn't a great experience for you, it's

390
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Speaker 2: making you better at the thing. Yeah, And that's what

391
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Speaker 2: I find so fascinating about people like yourself or high

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Speaker 2: performing out fleets or any of the types of people

393
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Speaker 2: you mentioned. Is that the thing that makes you better

394
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Speaker 2: at the craft doesn't necessarily improve the quality of your

395
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,239
Speaker 2: life and your mind. Yeah, and that's that dance you're

396
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Speaker 2: talking about, which is so I've got to kind of

397
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Speaker 2: be able to unleash the beast to be able to

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Speaker 2: do the work that I do. But then I don't

399
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Speaker 2: want the beast to eat me, Yeah, because then there's

400
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Speaker 2: nothing left. Yeah, when the beast is satisfied.

401
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Speaker 1: For sure, there's sort of a blessing and a curse

402
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Speaker 1: in a way, because I've had experiences when, you know,

403
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Speaker 1: the thing I was trying to remove, which was that

404
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: heightened sense of awareness and then the fact that you

405
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: know you're absorbing too much information and it's every little

406
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Speaker 1: movement or sound. I'm like, oh God, I wish I

407
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Speaker 1: could numb that. I wish I could reduce this sort

408
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Speaker 1: of state and be more present. And then I've found

409
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Speaker 1: my way to that place, either through not caring for

410
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Speaker 1: one reason or another, being purely exhausted. You know, night

411
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: shoots you just got there is no adrenaline lefe in

412
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Speaker 1: the body. I'm like, oh, this is great. I'm comfortable

413
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Speaker 1: and the first note is it's a bit flat. Then

414
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Speaker 1: the next take, you know, and I'm like, oh great,

415
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 1: the thing they've been trying to get rid of is

416
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Speaker 1: actually the secret source. And so that again about the interpretation.

417
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Speaker 1: I don't think the feeling itself is the problem. It's

418
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Speaker 1: our label we put upon it, which then causes all

419
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Speaker 1: the problems. And so I say this to friends of

420
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Speaker 1: mine who are auditioning on set and having anxiety or problems.

421
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Speaker 1: I'm like, you got to just you're got to make

422
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Speaker 1: friends with it. You've got to look at it. It's

423
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Speaker 1: very hard to recognize now, but it is a gift

424
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Speaker 1: in that sense. It is your spidery sens is coming alive.

425
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Speaker 1: It is the ability to think quicker and react faster

426
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Speaker 1: and be more attuned to things if you you're allowing

427
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Speaker 1: it in the space as opposed to you know, don't

428
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Speaker 1: think of a pink elephant. Whenever you think of that's

429
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Speaker 1: pink elephant. And I've had so many people talk about

430
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Speaker 1: like meditation prior to walking on stage and calming down,

431
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Speaker 1: and I don't know, for me, that is like house

432
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Speaker 1: of cards, because it's like you're in that state and

433
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Speaker 1: then the one little thing sets you off, whereas I

434
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: beforehand want to get my state and myself into that

435
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: ecstatic sort of state because it's on my term. So

436
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: now I own it as opposed to it being something

437
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 1: that creeps in the back door. I'm like, no, I

438
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 1: want this. Bring it on, big, big breath kind of

439
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: you know, absorb it, use it. And then and then

440
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 1: I found that that has been really beneficial and I've

441
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: been able to use it for the good version of it,

442
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 1: as opposed to it transforming into the one we're afraid of.

443
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, it's what I hear you saying

444
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 2: is that when it's in control of you, it feels

445
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 2: like pressure and fear, and then when you're in control

446
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: of it, when you're embodying it, it's now part of

447
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,719
Speaker 2: your narrative and part of your purpose and part of

448
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: you feeling like, oh, this is fuel for how I

449
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 2: want to perform, rather than this is just reminding me

450
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 2: of Hey, if I missed these three things, no one's

451
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 2: going to care about me, and I'll mess this up,

452
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: and that obviously is not helpful at all. And so

453
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 2: you're saying, befriending it is transforming it from being pressure

454
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: in fear, Yeah, being friendship and purpose.

455
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, there's an acceptance to it, there's a surrendering

456
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: to it, there's an ownership to it as opposed to

457
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 1: it being something you're trying to avoid. But that only

458
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 1: comes through I think, understanding the mechanisms or the mechanics

459
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 1: around the fact that it is beneficial. If you have

460
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 1: that relation to it, you know it is the worst

461
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: thing in the world. If you're trying to avoid it. Yes,

462
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: you know, shallow breath, heart rates up, sweaty palms, like

463
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 1: you can't think, everything just shuts down, you know. But

464
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: if it's like no, no, the the these these this

465
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: physical response is emotional response I've programmed myself to see

466
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 1: as a positive. Therefore it can be yeah, and again

467
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: you'll see me broke down at one point, go the

468
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 1: trick can't working today?

469
00:24:46,920 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 2: Is a Chris. I've had a similar experience with public speaking,

470
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 2: where I've been public speaking for years on stages and

471
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 2: if I really care, and that's my narrative kicking in.

472
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 2: If I really care, I'll still get straight palms, I'll

473
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 2: still be shaking a little, I'll film my heart rate

474
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 2: go up. And I've learned that all of those things

475
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 2: are just assigned that I care, because I know if

476
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 2: I get asked to speak someone I don't really care,

477
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 2: then I won't feel any of those things. And so

478
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I feel like there's some steaks here

479
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 2: and this is important. And then I have my practices

480
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 2: to embody that and feel good about that. But then

481
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 2: at the same time, when I went on tour two

482
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 2: years ago and we were doing nearly fifty shows across

483
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 2: the world, I was feeling a completely different level of

484
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 2: anxiety than I'd ever felt. And I remember two days

485
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: before when we were in rehearsals, I just feel really

486
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 2: tight chested. I talked to my doctor and went in

487
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 2: for a check up, and they're like, it's just stress,

488
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 2: and I was like, well, am I stressed to do

489
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 2: this all the time. But there's always what still makes

490
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 2: you nervous or what still gives you a stress.

491
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: Now, I mean this stuff, you know, the press, you

492
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 1: know walking I said it all, it all definitely awakens

493
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: that that that feeling, and then it's a constant sort

494
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 1: of dance and adaptable sort of the experience. But I think,

495
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: you know, I probably have a much easier time now

496
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: playing a character than I would being myself. Like in fact,

497
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: with this this series Limitless, that was very new to

498
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: me to do, you know, be in the documentary space

499
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: and play Chris, and I felt really uncomfortable from that.

500
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: And I got better with it probably in the second

501
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: season and this and this last episode with my dad,

502
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: But earlier on it was like, I have nothing interesting

503
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: to say. I don't I'm not educated on these topics.

504
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: I don't, and I'm sort of a guinea pig in

505
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: the experience. So maybe that's a good thing. But you're

506
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 1: far more critical of yourself than you are. I think

507
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: of someone you're pretending to be. Like you said before,

508
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: that it's a signaling that you care. I guess that discomfort,

509
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: that anxiety is the signal that it's important on some

510
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: level and it's something that should be respected and paid

511
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: attention to, rather than oh, I'm anxious, How dear I

512
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: be anxious, And then the criticism and the judgment, and

513
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: then it's like slippery slope. Yeah.

514
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's so interesting to me how so many of

515
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 2: us it's easier to pretend to be someone then by ourselves,

516
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 2: not just for actors, but all of us. Whether you're

517
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: playing a performance at work and a persona or a

518
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 2: persona with your friends, and it's so hard to just

519
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: let go of that persona. And it's almost like when

520
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 2: I speak to comedians, they're always like, yeah, I just

521
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 2: feel everyone just wants me to be funny all the time,

522
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 2: and they just feel that constant pressure around friends, family, everything,

523
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 2: and they just want to be normal and have a

524
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: bad day or whatever it may be. And you know,

525
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 2: everyone feels that pressure to perform in a certain way,

526
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 2: and it's almost like we're waiting for the person we

527
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 2: can take off the outfit around and just kind of

528
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 2: let go.

529
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: I remember my mum talking to me about this years ago,

530
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: and she was a high school teacher at the time,

531
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: and I said, I'm nervous about this, that and the other,

532
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: and being on a certain producer in this and she goes,

533
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: it's the same in any environment. She's me as the teacher. Okay, well,

534
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 1: the principles the producer and my students are the audience

535
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: or you know, and my work colleagues and the other

536
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: cast members. And in any line of work you're faced

537
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: with this. It's the sort of a human experience that

538
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: you can't escape. And she talked about the same thing

539
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: about kind of understanding that and accepting that it always

540
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 1: is a challenge. It's always a navigation of sorts, and

541
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: rather than looking at it as my experience is unique

542
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: and special to everyone else's and has more pressure than

543
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: yours or this that and now that's the trapping, you know,

544
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: as soon as you kind of understand it is more

545
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: common than uncommon, I think there's some comfort in that.

546
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: Like I remember listening to Anthony Hopkins and Kate Blanchett

547
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: and you know, people I'd worked with and admired and

548
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: looked up to, talking about, you know, imposter syndrome and

549
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: this might be my last job, and thinking, really, but

550
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: there was deep truth in that, you know, they still

551
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: had that doubt, but aware of the fact that maybe

552
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: that doubt was a good thing because it kept you humble,

553
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: It kept you motivated, It kept you pushing forward and searching,

554
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: as opposed to thinking you have all the answers, you know,

555
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 1: and then there's a sort of and there's a lack

556
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: of humility.

557
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well you've talked about that as well, right,

558
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 2: You've talked about that idea of fearing saying no, yeah,

559
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 2: because what if it all disappears? And when I read

560
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 2: that you said that. I was like, wow, like that,

561
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: you just wouldn't expect that. But we have these codings

562
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: from whether when we were young or wherever we picked

563
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: them up, where there's like a sense of like, oh, well,

564
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 2: this could all just go away.

565
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're growing from a house, you know, loving, beautiful

566
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: household and great parents, but we had no money. And

567
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: I remember the kind of financial burden that was on

568
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: my parents and overhearing conversations about bills and you know,

569
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: then borrying money for our grandparents or their parents to

570
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 1: you know, before payday came on every Thursday, or you know,

571
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: the twenty dollars we might have had in our piggy bank,

572
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: kind of saying we worry that we'll give it to

573
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: you next week. And and not that they ever put

574
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: that honest by any means, and probably tried to shelter

575
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: us from that, but being very aware of it. So

576
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 1: I felt that responsibility and that need to remove that

577
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: pressure for them from a very early age. And but

578
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: still it's this crazy irrational thought that well, it's going

579
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: to run out or it's going to be taken away,

580
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: and I won't be able to do that thing. It's

581
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 1: like we've already done that thing. You know, they're all

582
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: taken care of their family, cousins' friends, you know, and

583
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: not to say my career couldn't end tomorrow, but financially

584
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be a concern due to kind of what

585
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: we've put in place. And it's I don't know, it's

586
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: it's irrational, it's the logical, and but again I think it,

587
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's sort of I don't mind a

588
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: little bit of that just to keep you hungry, but

589
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: it has to be tempered. Like all of that. It's

590
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: because of the insanity of too much of that thinking

591
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: is incredibly detrimental, and you never enjoy what you have

592
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: because it's always about I need to get more and

593
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: it's not enough for what else can I do I

594
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: do to secure this even more? And it's this obsession

595
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: with safety I think we all have, and the need

596
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: for abundance and in security. But then I look at

597
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: my own childhood where I couldn't have felt more secure

598
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: and safe, and you know, so money isn't the answer

599
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: to that, yet you sort of trick yourself into thinking

600
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: it is. And whether that's from society will sort of

601
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: understand these expectations and the sort of our relationship to

602
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: money as human beings and how we signal or represent

603
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: safety and comfort in the wrong spaces. Maybe, but it's

604
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: a constant navigation, isn't it.

605
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like what you're talking about is the

606
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 2: power of pattern. Yeah, it's almost like when you've thought

607
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: that has been practiced. So with you giving the examples

608
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: of like, oh, we're gonna borrow this money here and

609
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 2: we'll pay it back next week, and so you're constantly

610
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 2: living in a cycle of we don't have enough, We're

611
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: going to have to figure it out, and that doesn't

612
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 2: disappear when an external situation changes, and you can all

613
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: relate to that. I mean I can relate to it

614
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 2: in my life too. And what I love about what

615
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: you said the most was it's not about I think

616
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 2: everyone over and I don't like you when anyone says

617
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 2: this whole money can't buy happiness stuff, because I'm like, well,

618
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: it solves a lot of problems for a lot of people,

619
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 2: and I don't think that's the point. But I love

620
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 2: what you just said about this safety idea that you

621
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: felt safe growing up and it wasn't because of that,

622
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: and I think that's an even more powerful truth where

623
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: it's like, wait a minute, what about if it was

624
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 2: about safety and we all want to feel safe and secure.

625
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: I felt very safe and secure because my mud I've

626
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: always described it as my mum's love was like this

627
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 2: protective shield where I never grew up ever questioning whether

628
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: I was lovable or not. My mum loved me someone

629
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: and that makes me feel very safe. And that wasn't

630
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 2: we had money growing up, And it wasn't because we

631
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 2: always knew what was coming next. It was because you

632
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: felt loved and you felt safe and secure because of.

633
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: That, for sure.

634
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: And so there are certain problems that money solves and

635
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: it's not safety. Yeah, and it can provide and help

636
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 2: for that, but safety is a more core emotional need, Yeah,

637
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: that comes from other things.

638
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: It's another thing I've talked to my mum about the

639
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: fact that the lessons I learned and the person I

640
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: am and my brothers who we are. You know, growing

641
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: up in that household, we didn't have money, And well,

642
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: now my kids we have money. What's that going to

643
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: do to them? Are they going to not learn the

644
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: same lessons that we had and have the same sense

645
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: of sort of gratitude and appreciation for things, and she said,

646
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: you could look at you know, the households ad a

647
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 1: lot of money, households I had little money, and he

648
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: could pick about the same amount of successful stories versus unsuccessful.

649
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, it comes down

650
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: to love, security, safety. Do I feel like I'm connected

651
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: and part of this household and appreciated and that I'm

652
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: safe to explore who I am as an individual or not,

653
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: you know, regardless of this sort of the exterior, the

654
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 1: larger environmental, sort of superficial elements of it, it's around

655
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,760
Speaker 1: those core components of love and connection, and that always

656
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: gives me comfort, you know, when I'm sitting here thinking

657
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm destroying my kids by having this big house, and

658
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: you know, abundance and all this so on. But is

659
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: always a complex one that sort of navigate in any space.

660
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: I guess.

661
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's true though. I think it's what

662
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: you've been saying this whole conversation already, is that you

663
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 2: keep talking about how everything's somewhat of a gift in

664
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 2: the curse. Yeah, and it is that right, Like everything

665
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: is like and as soon as you accept that everything's

666
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: binary and there is no black or white, yeah, it

667
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 2: is all gray. Yeah, And it is all teaching people

668
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 2: to see the gray and see the nuance and see

669
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 2: the complexity and recognizing that complexity is simplicity in the

670
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 2: sense of as soon as you accept that it is

671
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: all of it, Yeah, then all of a sudden, it's simple.

672
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 2: Whereas when you're trying to find a definitive right way

673
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: of doing it, it's pretty impossible to find it and

674
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 2: you rack your brain forever.

675
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 1: It is, and this sort of the thing you're searching

676
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: for only exists because of the thing you're not searching for,

677
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: like the polarity of things, and it's the you know,

678
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: there's no north with herd of south. There's not a

679
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: one sided mountain that there's that you know, you only

680
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: know love because you know grief. And I had this

681
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 1: friend of mine passed away recently, and I had this

682
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: the normal response of grief and anguish and pain and

683
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: the why and the questions. And then through that, all

684
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 1: of a sudden, this this lightness and this stillness because

685
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: all the trivial things that I was ruminating around day

686
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: to day all of a sudden dissipated, and it was like, wow,

687
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: it's that simple. It can be gone in a second,

688
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't know one without the other. And so

689
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: the sort of grief is as much a blessing as

690
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: the love is and the joy because they coexist. You

691
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,919
Speaker 1: know that there isn't an individual experience. You can't have

692
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: one without the other. And that that, for me, I

693
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: find helps navigate the complicated spaces of life. And the

694
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: sort of moments of adversity is kind of realizing that

695
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: they're sort of one and the same thing. And that's

696
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: and I don't do that. I don't exist there all

697
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: the time, but every now and then and I feel

698
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: like I get a glimpse of it, and there's a

699
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: quiet peacefulness to it, you know, it's like the sort

700
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:31,919
Speaker 1: of the louder it gets, all of a sudden, things

701
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: just stop. Alan Watts talks a lot about that. I

702
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: love just sort of the philosophy around what he presents

703
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: in that way.

704
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry for your loss.

705
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you. Yeah, I mean it's you know, there

706
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: was a sort of out of nowhere kind of tragedy,

707
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: tragedy as you know we all experience at some point.

708
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: But I just remember having that moment, that sort of

709
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 1: very odd sort of lightness in amongst the Greece, which

710
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: he paused for a moment and consider where that came

711
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 1: from and where that stems from and what that sort

712
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: of what that message is.

713
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's so you're your grief is only as

714
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 2: deep as your love.

715
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

716
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 2: If you don't feel grief about something like that, well

717
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: there's probably because you didn't didn't it didn't have that

718
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 2: love and care and it's but yeah, it's not that

719
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 2: that's easy to recognize in the moment or pause, and

720
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 2: but when you get that access, it's something to worth

721
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: holding on to.

722
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that was trying to reconcile the sort of

723
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: dischotomy around those two two feelings, you know that the

724
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: the sort of I almost then followed this guilt that

725
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,919
Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling as sad as I was a moment ago.

726
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: And it's like, what is this sort of compast kind

727
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: of you know, push and pull between those two states,

728
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't know, living in the questions

729
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: rather than needing the answers to it, you know, all

730
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: the time, the sort of the answers of trying to

731
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: define the definity why to something and the absolute certainty

732
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: of something is just like a danger in a trapping.

733
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, and we will

734
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: just And the funny thing is, even if you get

735
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 2: a perfect right answer, you still won't be satisfied with

736
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 2: it tomorrow. Yeah exactly, Yeah, because then you're like, wait

737
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 2: a minute, if I look at it from this angle,

738
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: you know, and it's it's fascinating how the human mind

739
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 2: wants completion.

740
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:15,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

741
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that still keeps locating all the incomplete loops.

742
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 1: Absolutely to get lost in it, Like the unly certainty

743
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 1: is uncertainty, you know, the only constant inconstant.

744
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

745
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,399
Speaker 1: It's a It does a number on you, for sure.

746
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, if you're when you're a kid,

747
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: you're kind of lying awake at night thinking about how

748
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: big the universe is or what happens when we die

749
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: and then nothing and then like oh, it's like kind

750
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: of your brain arrives at a place of nothingness, you know,

751
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: and that's as terrifying as that, it's kind of liberating here. Yeah.

752
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 2: Does it help to have brothers in the industry too,

753
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 2: because I mean that's rare, Yeah that, you know, all

754
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 2: of you have got incredible careers and it's like, how

755
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 2: does that is it helpful to be able to share

756
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: some of these challenges or do you find that that's

757
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: not really the case?

758
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: No, it is definitely. Yeah, this is a sort of

759
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: a point of reference or are There's a camaraderie for

760
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: sure and support network between the three of us. You're

761
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 1: in your sort of quieter moments of reflection, you can

762
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: kind of go, is this normal? Am I kind of

763
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: you know wrong to feel this that and the other,

764
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,280
Speaker 1: and what's your experience in that? And so absolutely having

765
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: someone who is a complete sort of you know, safe

766
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: house for those discussions is a is a real benefit.

767
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really powerful. I feel like that's the hardest

768
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 2: thing for most artists or athletes or people who go

769
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 2: and live other worldly lives. And then it's almost like

770
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 2: you have all your best friends back home or your

771
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,399
Speaker 2: the people you grew up with. Yeah, and you need

772
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 2: them because they're the only ones who remind you of

773
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 2: where you started and where it came from, But they

774
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: don't understand the new world that you deal with, and

775
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 2: so you kind of have this version of it where

776
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 2: they can reconcile with you the challenges. It's not like,

777
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 2: oh well, Chris, you're rich in famous. It doesn't. So

778
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: they're like, oh no, those things are still real, and

779
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 2: you still experience im Paster syndrome, and you still experience anxiety,

780
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 2: and they can vouch for that because they probably go

781
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 2: through the same day.

782
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. I mean, I feel very lucky to

783
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: have them in the same space. But I'd say the

784
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,800
Speaker 1: thing that has had the biggest effect on me is

785
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: that the team that people I get to work with,

786
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,240
Speaker 1: which is from you know, the hair and makeup team,

787
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: my costume guy that I travel with, my assistant, my trainer,

788
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: that group I've known for about fourteen years. My assistant,

789
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 1: my trainer I've known for thirty five years. I went

790
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: to school with my two best mates, and to have

791
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: the five or six of us travel together is in

792
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: I thought was quite common. Why wouldn't you bring along

793
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: your mates and have the same people with you. And

794
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 1: the amount of people I've met in the highest two

795
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: positions that live this isolated, lonely existence and don't have

796
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: true friendships around and groups of people who who remind

797
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: them who they are really and remind them that there's

798
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 1: there's a grounding quality to it. It's such a tragedy,

799
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: you know. I think of this this abundance of opportunity

800
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 1: and this sort of you know, one in a million

801
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: chants to sort of participate in this journey where you

802
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: get to travel and you're dealing with all this experience

803
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 1: and activation and interaction with the world on a level

804
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 1: that you know most of us wouldn't get to experience.

805
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: Yet you're doing it alone. You have no no one

806
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 1: to share it with. And I think that's the about

807
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: the social connection. It's like it's only as good as

808
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: the people standing at the side of you that get

809
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: to walk that journey with you, because you know, there's

810
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: times when you become a little jaded about it, there's

811
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: times it becomes a little normal, normal times when it

812
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: becomes boring, and have someone to shake you and go, hey,

813
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 1: that's pretty cool, and remember where we came from and

814
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 1: what we could be doing when what we used to

815
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 1: do is is incredibly invigorating. And I find myself the

816
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: thing I'm most fright for, I think in my career

817
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: is having those core people with me constantly.

818
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you define a real friend?

819
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 1: Someone you can laugh with and who you can laugh

820
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: at each other and it's not offensive or it can

821
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: be and that's okay. Someone you can really push it

822
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 1: too far with and they're going to go I'll let

823
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: that one slide. I'll get you next time. A true

824
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: friend who keeps you humble, I think, keeps you grounded,

825
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 1: the sort of the sort of obvious things to say.

826
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 1: But you know, through thick and thin, they still stand

827
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: there next year, and whether it was all to be

828
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: taken if it all got taken away, they'd still be

829
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 1: there having a laugh Paty in the back saying, well,

830
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: we gave it a shot. And I've got a lot

831
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: of those people in my life. I'm very thankful for.

832
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that it's it's definitely it's British band

833
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 2: is a big thing. But I got to learn that

834
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 2: Australian band is as strong, if not better, as well,

835
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 2: because when I was touring in when I toured Australia

836
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 2: two years back, and we did three shows at this

837
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 2: in the Opera House, we did Melbourne and Brisbane, and

838
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 2: I have lots of moments in my show where I

839
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 2: bring people up on stage and we're going through all

840
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,479
Speaker 2: sorts of experiments and activities and every single person would

841
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 2: banter back. There was no one who's letting me get

842
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 2: away with a joke at their expense and I was like,

843
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: this is amazing. It was so much fun. Everyone was

844
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: so fast, the equips were great.

845
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: Like it's good. There's a good self deprecating sort of quality.

846
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and I love that too. Is I feel like,

847
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 2: you know, I have a WhatsApp group with all my

848
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 2: best mates back in London and all we do is

849
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: just roast each other all day long, so whether someone

850
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 2: posts something on social media or send this video out,

851
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 2: whatever it is, and I think that that's such a

852
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: good test of friendship for sure. And when we when

853
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 2: me and my wife from London too, when we moved

854
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 2: to America, me and my wife roast each other just

855
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 2: as you would roast one of your boys, and everyone

856
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 2: on my team would just think we were having a

857
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 2: massive argument because they just went used to it, so

858
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: they thought we hated each other exactly. Yeah. We were like, no,

859
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 2: this is our you know, it's not passive aggressive, this

860
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 2: is this is just like Yeah.

861
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: I think that there was a there was a study

862
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: done recently and I don't know where I read it,

863
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: but talking about that it is at a sign of

864
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: true friendship that you can roast each other and give

865
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: each other ship and it's a sign that there is

866
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:15,439
Speaker 1: a I don't know, there's a trust there because you don't.

867
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't speak this way to someone that I didn't

868
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: know that well. And yeah, I thought it was going

869
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 1: to go okay with it. Yeah, a bit of trouble.

870
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, talking about the worst. The worst was when I

871
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 2: first moved to LA and I was learning about getting

872
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 2: a stylist and all this kind of stuff, and my

873
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: friends would just take terrible pictures of me off the

874
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 2: red cart, just keep putting them in the group. Then

875
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 2: why you're wearing a skirt?

876
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 1: What you do?

877
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've had a million of those.

878
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. I'll so many pictures of like, you know,

879
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 1: certain sort of fashions at a moment and looks and

880
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: it's like, oh it's number seven, you know, a hand

881
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: on the end, there's scratch above the head, and you

882
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,840
Speaker 1: kind of I find myself of doing those shoots and

883
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: then stopping myself because three or four guys back home,

884
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 1: we're going to see it and tell me better rather

885
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: than the last majority of people who might not think

886
00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: twice about it.

887
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,439
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I love that and you need that. Yeah,

888
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 2: I think about it all the time. Every time the

889
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: hairstyles tries a new hairstyle, whatever it is, I'm like, yeah,

890
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: all right, I know who's I know who's going to

891
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 2: send me a picture of this tomorrow. It was I'm

892
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 2: so grateful that I got to see the documentary because

893
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 2: I I went through a really and I shared this

894
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 2: because of how powerful it was for me to watch it.

895
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 2: And so my greatest spiritual mentor, who I grew up

896
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 2: around in London, he passed away during the pandemic and

897
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 2: I couldn't go back to his funeral. I was I

898
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 2: was stuck in the United States and he was he

899
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 2: was based in London, and I just remember finding out.

900
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: It was almost like everything changed for him and changed

901
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: for us in like a night. It felt that way,

902
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 2: at least when we became aware. Yeah, no, no, but

903
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: it was watching your experience with your father was was

904
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 2: so beautiful because it was all the I was like,

905
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,800
Speaker 2: people are going to watch this and they're going to

906
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 2: know what to do, and that is such a beautiful

907
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 2: thing to give people. It's such a gift to give

908
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 2: to people because I didn't know because I'd never been

909
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 2: through I've never seen anyone publicly go through it. So

910
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:09,919
Speaker 2: when I watched it, and I can't wait for everyone

911
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: who's listening and watching right now to watch it too,

912
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 2: because it gave me a real resolve to be like, yeah,

913
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: this is going to help people. It's going to help

914
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: a lot of people. And I wanted to ask you

915
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 2: about that. Your your father obviously got diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

916
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,439
Speaker 2: It's like, what was that like the day you found out?

917
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 2: Like what, how did or how did you eve noticed

918
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 2: it before the day you found out? Did you start

919
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 2: to notice things?

920
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's funny. I remember in the first season

921
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: of Limitless and Peter Attiya, Yeah, I did a bunch

922
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: of blood work and you know, looking at my genetics,

923
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: and the plan was on camera. He was going to

924
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,439
Speaker 1: tell me about, you know, what I had a predisposition

925
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: to and what I had the vulnerability or what my

926
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 1: strengths were and so on, and he said, oh, I

927
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: don't want to do this on camera. I got to

928
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: talk to you about something. And I thought, oh god, what

929
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 1: is this?

930
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 2: You know?

931
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: And Darren Aronofsky called me. He said, Peter wants to

932
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: call you and and I got really nervous about what

933
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: he was going to tell me, and he said, you've

934
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 1: got two copies of the apoe four gene, which you

935
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: get a copy each from each parent. A two's not

936
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 1: so about. A three is a little worse. The fours

937
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: the worst one, and you've got two. And basically, I

938
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: think one percent of the population has two copies of

939
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: these genes, and it puts you in a high risk

940
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: category for Alzheimis. It's not a predeterministic gene. It's just

941
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 1: an indication that you have a great vulnerability to Alzheimer's.

942
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: He told me that, and I was like a moment

943
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: of sort of shock, a moment of what does mean?

944
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 1: And then about fifteen minutes later, I was like, ah,

945
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: something old people get whatever. I told my parents about it,

946
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: and I remember my dad saying, oh, look that don't

947
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: worry now, we'll figure it out. That's you know. And

948
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm not concerned. It's just this

949
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 1: strange thing to be told. And he was likely, it's fine, mate,

950
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: you know plenty of time where you don't figure out

951
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: what you need to do to prevent it, and so on.

952
00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: And I remember vividly that conversation of him sort of

953
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 1: telling me not to be concerned about it. And then

954
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 1: about two or three years later, my Mum's saying to me,

955
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: I think we've got to get Dad checked because there's

956
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 1: these signs and things I'm concerned about the obvious one's

957
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: memory and sort of slight mood changes and shifts and

958
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 1: forgetfulness and so on. So he went and got tested

959
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: and found out he had two copies of the Apeli four,

960
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 1: as did my mum, which so we got one one

961
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 1: percent of populations April four. What, I don't know what

962
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: the math is on finding each other. So then Buddy Fault, Me, Luke,

963
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: and Liam all have two cops of vapors. So this

964
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:46,800
Speaker 1: sort of anomaly of of genetics and accommodations. And but

965
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: my I was immediately hit with the reality of what

966
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 1: that meant for him because I had just gone through way. Ah,

967
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: it's a long way down the track, don't worry, push

968
00:48:58,560 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 1: it aside. Then all of a sudden it was right

969
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 1: front of us, and it was incredibly confronting. But again

970
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 1: I think the we'll figure it out mentality was was

971
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 1: was still very prominent, and then as it began to

972
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 1: get worse, it became a real sort of shaking into

973
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 1: the moment and a real sort of shock to the system.

974
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: And oh wow, this sort of everything we thought was

975
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: solid and true and consistent was going to dramatically change

976
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: and shift. Yeah, and then and then we I remember

977
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 1: when I was looking at doing another episode for that series,

978
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 1: the discussion around when I do something around brain health

979
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 1: with my dad, and my first instinct was I just

980
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: spent a lot of the press too of the previous

981
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: show trying to tell people that I didn't have Alzheim's,

982
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,800
Speaker 1: and you know, and I said, I don't want to

983
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 1: go through that, but I also don't want to exploit

984
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 1: or feel like him in any way, putting him in

985
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable position, exploiting this kind of condition, And how

986
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,919
Speaker 1: is it going to make him feel? And I spoke

987
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 1: to him about it, and he was like, oh, absolutely, yeah, no,

988
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 1: you know, maybe this will help shed some light on

989
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: the issue and people will benefit from it and we

990
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: might learn something along the way, and off we went

991
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: in that direction. But there was a huge amount of

992
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 1: grace and humility in his attitude to it. You know,

993
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: he says it in the documentary, but his biggest concern

994
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: was being a burden and that was heartbreaking to hear

995
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: and consider. And I had never even up until we

996
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 1: shot the documentary. I didn't know even how he felt

997
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 1: about it because I hadn't asked him. And I felt

998
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 1: the strange mix of sort of guilt while shooting as

999
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: well as concern for his condition, but guilt but hadn't

1000
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: asked this prior. Now I'm doing it on camera, and

1001
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,720
Speaker 1: so it was this strange sort of orchestration of events.

1002
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 1: But what came out of it, and it wasn't planned,

1003
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: was this beautiful so connection that my dad and I

1004
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: were able to have in this beautiful discussion that we

1005
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't have had otherwise. And someone who had just

1006
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 1: seen it recently, he said, I'm about at the same

1007
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: you know, I got diagnosed a few years ago. I'm

1008
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: in the same space as your dad's in. And he said,

1009
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 1: I wish my kids could see this documentary. I hope

1010
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 1: they see it because there's so much stigma around it.

1011
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 1: They don't know what to say. They don't even talk

1012
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: to me about it. They don't ask me how I'm

1013
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: feeling about it. They don't ask me am I afraid?

1014
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 1: Am I concerned? What am I concerned about? They just

1015
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: sort of talked to me about the footy, or they

1016
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 1: talk to me about you know work and that was

1017
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: a sort of a beautiful moment of realization. And I

1018
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: was there with my dad and I said, this is

1019
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaker 1: hopefully what you know this is going to do for people,

1020
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: is it motivates people into reaching out and removing the

1021
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: sort of awkwardness around the uncomfortable conversations and actually reaching

1022
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: out to people and allowing each other to be vulnerable,

1023
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: allowing each other to talk about their fears and their

1024
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: concerns and help navigate it together as opposed to again

1025
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: having blinkers on and sort of burying our heads in

1026
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 1: the sand.

1027
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,919
Speaker 2: It's such a big thing, and it's such a hard

1028
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 2: thing that it's hard to be like, oh, when we've

1029
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 2: had hard things happened in the family before we talk

1030
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 2: about it. This is different to that. Even though everyone's

1031
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 2: an adult now you know your family and everyone's grown up,

1032
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 2: it's a difficult conversation to have. And it's have you

1033
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 2: as a family always had open conversations and emotional conversations

1034
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 2: and difficult conversations or has there not really been a

1035
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 2: need to have one?

1036
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: And no, we have, but there hasn't been a need

1037
00:52:55,440 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: as as I guess is as important as this one.

1038
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: You know, it wasn't as personal like we we've obviously had,

1039
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 1: you know, people die and situations occur and things that

1040
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: we were all you know, confronting and and the you know,

1041
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 1: human experience a tragedy, and and and so on, But

1042
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 1: it wasn't as in front of us as this was.

1043
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 1: And the interesting, the complex thing about I think dementia

1044
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: and Alzheimer's is it's when the science first start to show,

1045
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 1: they're very subtle, so you still sort of think, oh,

1046
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 1: we can manage this, you know, and and then it

1047
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: gets over time a little worse. And depending on the regression.

1048
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: You know, some people that happens in six months and

1049
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:49,359
Speaker 1: they're the sort of vegetable CATACOONCTO states, whereas and there's

1050
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: some people that's a that's a slower regression, and and

1051
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: and so again there's there's an easy option to sort

1052
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: of ignore all those subtle changes. And I think this

1053
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 1: experience made it far more prominent for all of us

1054
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 1: than we had to pay attention to it. And even

1055
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 1: my mum had said, you know, my dad did the interviews.

1056
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: She's like, I've never even heard him talk like that.

1057
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: I didn't even know he felt that. I didn't know

1058
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,879
Speaker 1: he was his experiencing that and because he didn't want

1059
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 1: to put that burden upon someone else. And so yeah,

1060
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: I I guess I'm thankful for the opportunity to embark

1061
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 1: on this sort of journey with him, and as far

1062
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 1: as the documentary went, because it ignited something in I

1063
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,320
Speaker 1: think all of us in my family to be a

1064
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 1: lot more proactive and a lot more present and a

1065
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: lot more connected, because you know, we're watching sort of

1066
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: memories disappear in front of us.

1067
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 2: The first time you're going through it. And same as

1068
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,839
Speaker 2: my experience before the pandemic, before he did pass away,

1069
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:57,319
Speaker 2: I would go back to see him. Yeah, and every

1070
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 2: time I'd go back, I'd noticed, especially because I was

1071
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,359
Speaker 2: living in La So every time i'd go back, I'd

1072
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 2: notice big changes then the people who were with him

1073
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: every day. And it was like I'd go back maybe

1074
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 2: every four months to see him or whatever it was,

1075
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 2: and it's like the first time, he'd still remember my name,

1076
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 2: but he'd forget that I was there after like ten

1077
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 2: minutes and then say hello again. And then the next

1078
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,359
Speaker 2: time I'd go he'd remember my name, but then he'd

1079
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 2: only he'd forget me every thirty seconds or whatever. It

1080
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 2: was and then you know, you just I saw that

1081
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 2: decline because I wasn't with him every day.

1082
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 1: How long we're be to him when he was, oh,

1083
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:30,280
Speaker 1: my god diagnosed?

1084
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 2: Maybe like I think I'd have to check the exact time,

1085
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 2: but maybe like three to four years.

1086
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, like three yeah, yeah, it's the same time

1087
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 1: my dad was diagnosed. A friend of ours was diagnosed.

1088
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: And my dad's actually in a remarkable position compared to

1089
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 1: that friend of ours who can barely speak, and that glazed, vague,

1090
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: local sort of confusion comes twenty four to seven. My

1091
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 1: dad is the short term memory, you know, and it's

1092
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 1: the older memories are still very strong and evident. He

1093
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 1: can sit here and recognize people. But there's some repetition

1094
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: now occurring more than there was. But you know, I'm

1095
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: thankful that it hasn't happened as fast as a lot

1096
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 1: of instances, you know. Yeah, yeah, it was about probably

1097
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: four maybe even five years ago.

1098
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, that's yeah. No, I'm happy to hear

1099
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 2: that too.

1100
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:24,320
Speaker 1: And it was.

1101
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,800
Speaker 2: It's beautiful to watch you go back to your childhood

1102
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 2: home like rebuilt, rebuilt, redesign, And when everyone watches it,

1103
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 2: they'll know what I mean when I say that, but

1104
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, it's such a special thing to do,

1105
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 2: Like I can't imagine what it felt like for him

1106
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 2: and for you to even go back there as like, yeah,

1107
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,280
Speaker 2: it's finally grow an adult, because he was an adult

1108
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 2: when he was there last.

1109
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: But you know, no, and it was the reminiscence therapy

1110
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,880
Speaker 1: is what was called about. You know that there's basically

1111
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: stimulating old memories and the hippocampus and triggering memories that

1112
00:56:55,320 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: held a great amount of larger emotional response. So whether

1113
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 1: it be exhilarating, exciting, nerve wracking those intense memories to

1114
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 1: stimulate those via looking at old photographs, talking to old

1115
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: friends from the past, discussing things that happened in the past.

1116
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 1: What we did was very elaborate, supercharged version of you know,

1117
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,040
Speaker 1: we had a film crew with us and a production

1118
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: and they basically took the house that we grew up

1119
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 1: in and stripped all the furniture out and somehow sourced

1120
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 1: furniture and posters and DVD players and whatever you know

1121
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 1: that we had as kids and set the house up

1122
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: the way it was and we lived there and it

1123
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 1: was beyond sort of comprehension that when I first walked in.

1124
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,919
Speaker 1: I was struggling to sort of articulate how I felt

1125
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: about it because my brain didn't know what to do

1126
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 1: with it. And it was remarkable sort of seeing my

1127
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 1: dad sort of come to life in moments and it

1128
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: triggered all of the other memories. And then my mum

1129
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 1: going through the house and it triggering a different experience

1130
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: for her, you know, as a reminder of the passage

1131
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:06,960
Speaker 1: of time and the memories she had then, but the

1132
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: memories we may not have, you know, in a few

1133
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: years time or that disappearing. But it was, yeah, a

1134
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 1: pretty wild experience.

1135
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it just fully takes you back, and it's

1136
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 2: I imagine that while you're doing this, because you're doing

1137
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 2: the supercharge version, there's a sense of I wonder how

1138
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 2: your thoughts on how making memories has changed, because we

1139
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 2: say that as humans, like, oh, we should make let's

1140
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,480
Speaker 2: make memories. But I don't know if we really think

1141
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:41,120
Speaker 2: about it as profoundly as you do when you're faced

1142
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 2: with not knowing how many more you can make and

1143
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 2: how many of the part so is, how is your

1144
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 2: thought process on, like make the idea of making memories

1145
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:50,440
Speaker 2: been impacted?

1146
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 1: I think my time that I spend with him now

1147
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 1: is is is a lot simpler then I would have

1148
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 1: thought would have attempted in the past. I thought there

1149
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: had to be a bigger experience d to do something,

1150
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: you know, incredibly memorable. And I've realized now that the

1151
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 1: greatest moments of just sitting there, being with him and

1152
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 1: seeing him have someone listen to him and see him,

1153
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 1: have someone see him and pay attention, and watching him

1154
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: through this, even this documentary, all of a sudden he

1155
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: had agency in something again, you know, and not just

1156
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: because of they're certainly having Alzheimers. The awareness around I'm

1157
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 1: losing control and I can't sort of lead the pack

1158
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 1: or be in charge of the space. I'm very much

1159
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 1: a passenger or maybe a patient. But also that thing

1160
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: that happens at a certain age. And I've watched my parents,

1161
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 1: you know, the last kind of ten years, the transition

1162
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: of well they've been the authority and now they're looking

1163
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: to us. That does to the ego and all, and

1164
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 1: it's it's it takes a great amount of grace and

1165
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 1: humility to go. Oh, I now have to seek support

1166
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 1: where I used to lead the way, and I don't

1167
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 1: have the answers to that and now you know, my

1168
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 1: kids may be the authority on a lot of these subjects.

1169
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 1: You know, even though we thought we were well for

1170
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: our egoic, youthful times, but that sort of transition and

1171
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 1: so for him, that was really you know, I looked

1172
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: at that making the documentary as a I thought I

1173
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: was very thankful for watching him, and a lot of

1174
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 1: the crew said this, Wow. As the days went on,

1175
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 1: he really sort of took charge and felt like he

1176
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 1: was in the driver's seat again. And I think that's

1177
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: really important for people to remember us to still give

1178
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 1: them some agency and still as much as there is

1179
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: a lack of control, but I don't know, allowing them

1180
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 1: to embody some authority and narrative on their life, as

1181
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 1: opposed to like now you just have to sit in

1182
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 1: this space and have your hand out and yeah, yeah.

1183
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 2: You think you're helping, Bactually you're hurting.

1184
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you and I try, And you know,

1185
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 1: I asked my dad questions I know the answers to,

1186
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: but just to I know he'll it feel like he

1187
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 1: has hopefully doesn't hear this, because you will forget it anyway,

1188
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 1: you know. I'll ask him things just to sort of

1189
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,920
Speaker 1: stimulate some again agency and authority and has his thinking.

1190
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean it must have been pretty amazing

1191
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 2: to see him ride in like yeah even that, like yeah,

1192
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 2: that's pretty impressive. When I saw that, I was like, wow,

1193
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 2: that's yeah, that must feel great for him to get

1194
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 2: because he used to be a Yeah. You know, it

1195
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 2: just to me that that also must feel like some

1196
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 2: agency for him to still be so active in this way, because.

1197
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's the thing I think I'm most scared

1198
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 1: for for him, and I think probably he is, is

1199
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 1: it will come a time when he won't be able

1200
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 1: to do those things. And at the moment, you know,

1201
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 1: I mean he saw races and historic races with old

1202
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 1: Harley's and different bike and things, and you know, we'll

1203
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 1: blit the pack and young bloats to rock up and

1204
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 1: their bikes and instagraph and they'll go whoa who is

1205
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 1: this guy? And he ends up on the podium a

1206
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 1: lot of the times in the phrases he's an incredible

1207
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 1: rider still. But I don't know at what point that

1208
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 1: will occur. But that, for me, I brings me great concern,

1209
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 1: you know, as it does for him as well, because

1210
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 1: it will be the I think the most obvious representation

1211
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 1: of the lack of agency and that you're taking a

1212
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 1: real backseat to things. You know.

1213
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, no, hearing you talk about it is just

1214
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 2: genuinely so as hard as it is for you and

1215
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,440
Speaker 2: obviously for your family, and even just hearing you say

1216
01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:44,000
Speaker 2: how hard it was to make a documentary about something

1217
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 2: so personal, I definitely think that even hearing you talk

1218
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 2: about it today, I'm like, this is helping people because

1219
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 2: I feel like there's so many it's not talked about enough,

1220
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 2: and there are so many families that go through it,

1221
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: and like you said, it's so easy to pretend like

1222
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 2: it's not happy or try and just tell that person

1223
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 2: what actually happened, because that's what our logical brain doesn't.

1224
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 2: What did you learn about your dad through this experience?

1225
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 2: Only that you wish you'd learn sooner or understood earlier.

1226
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 1: My dad had. There's certainly has always been my hero.

1227
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: You know. He's represented such nobility and integrity and compassion

1228
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 1: and strength and a great, deep, profound sense of justice

1229
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 1: and injustice and right and wrong, and it has been

1230
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 1: very present and vocal about situations like that. You know,

1231
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 1: he worked in child protection and taking care of the

1232
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 1: most vulnerable of us and being children, you know, and

1233
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 1: and that he big shoes to fill, you know. And

1234
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: and but I think what I didn't realize watching this

1235
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:54,160
Speaker 1: documentary was that he had all the same fears and

1236
01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: concerns that I had or I have, And and he

1237
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 1: isn't unshakable and unmovable, and he's human and watching him

1238
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:09,439
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and express concern and fear about things made

1239
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,520
Speaker 1: me love him on at an even deeper level. You know.

1240
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 1: It's like, oh wow, the walls came down, you know.

1241
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 1: And I don't think he was presenting those walls out

1242
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 1: of avoidance, but there wasn't. He wasn't as not emotionally invailable,

1243
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: but he wouldn't let you see that side of him

1244
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: as much. And now there's this gentileist, sort of open,

1245
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: vulnerable side which that I wasn't aware of as much

1246
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 1: as before, you know, And I think that I'm very

1247
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,240
Speaker 1: thankful for that. You know, He's got beautiful sort of

1248
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 1: watching his interviews which I wasn't present for, but the

1249
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 1: master interviews that I watched after with that, oh my god,

1250
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 1: I had no idea that those are the things he

1251
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:58,600
Speaker 1: was considering. But also the sense of humor he had

1252
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,720
Speaker 1: with it, and that the human and the sort of

1253
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:04,400
Speaker 1: self deprecating sort of nature that he had even in

1254
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 1: discussing the most difficult things.

1255
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 2: You know, it must be really special that you have

1256
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 2: all those tapes.

1257
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I had I think you said this at

1258
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 1: the start of our chat, but he had a friend

1259
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 1: of mine say, because I was really concerned about doing this,

1260
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 1: and even through it, and even after we'd finished, I

1261
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 1: was talking to the director. I was like, oh, it's

1262
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,600
Speaker 1: just a good thing if I you know again, I

1263
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 1: don't want to feel like this is exploiting any of this.

1264
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 1: And he said, you know, I lost my father really

1265
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 1: suddenly and never had a chance to at these conversations.

1266
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 1: And the fact that you've been able to have this

1267
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 1: experience and force these conversations out of one another. What

1268
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,880
Speaker 1: a gift. And then so many people who were at

1269
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 1: the screening the premiere a few weeks ago said I

1270
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 1: wish I had done this, or I am now I

1271
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:55,920
Speaker 1: am going to do this. I'm now going to reach

1272
01:05:55,960 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 1: out to my parents or that loved one or friend

1273
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 1: that I haven't said these things too, because it was

1274
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: just a reminder of the fleeting nature and of all

1275
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 1: of it, you know.

1276
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's that's what's amazing about it that it

1277
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 2: doesn't have to be Also, it's like, you know, yeah,

1278
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 2: it's just about having time and space to reconnect and

1279
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 2: see your parents for who they are and who they

1280
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 2: didn't show you because they were protecting you, and yeah,

1281
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:21,840
Speaker 2: who they didn't want to or they weren't ready to.

1282
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 2: And and it's hard because we all have everyone has

1283
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 2: different relationships with their parents and everything. But there's there's

1284
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 2: something beautiful about being able to just sit there and

1285
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 2: see them and them being at them allowing you.

1286
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:36,120
Speaker 1: Because even like making the documentary was like, on one hand,

1287
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:38,320
Speaker 1: I sort of we're you know, we were abut to

1288
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:42,880
Speaker 1: sort of understand Alzheimer's or dementia and and find the fixed,

1289
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: find the silver bullet, you know, look into reminiscence therapy,

1290
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,200
Speaker 1: looking at different medications, looking at for different modalities and

1291
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:52,640
Speaker 1: approaches on how to handle it. And then by the

1292
01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: end of it it was exactly that it was like, oh, wow,

1293
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: this is about connection. This is universal to all of

1294
01:06:57,920 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 1: our experience. This isn't just about our semus. This is

1295
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:04,880
Speaker 1: about supporting one another and being there for one another

1296
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:06,480
Speaker 1: and being part of a family in a community and

1297
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 1: that india connected nature of all of it as opposed

1298
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:13,440
Speaker 1: to one lane with dementia, Alzheimer's cognitive health. It was

1299
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 1: about it was about love and support and connection, and

1300
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 1: that for me was the biggest takeaway I think, you know,

1301
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 1: or as equally as sort of beneficial of the connection

1302
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 1: with my dad was about what it meant universally to

1303
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 1: all of my relationships.

1304
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:30,520
Speaker 2: What did you learn about yourself that you weren't aware

1305
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 2: of it, that you hadn't come across before.

1306
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 1: And I felt just said I was doing something right.

1307
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 1: I think, I know that sounds kind of strange, but

1308
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:41,400
Speaker 1: I had so much doubt and criticism and concern about it.

1309
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:44,960
Speaker 1: And then I was sitting at the premiere and my

1310
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:48,000
Speaker 1: dad kept like holding my hand and never done that,

1311
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 1: you know, he was both emotional and laughing, and I thought,

1312
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 1: oh wow, this is like, out of all the things

1313
01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:59,000
Speaker 1: I've done and things I've put on screen and the

1314
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:08,680
Speaker 1: things I've made, this feels profoundly important and deeply personal,

1315
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 1: but special and unique to probably anything I'll ever do again.

1316
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 1: And I don't know a little bit of what we're

1317
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:23,960
Speaker 1: saying before, but I don't walk around thinking I've sort

1318
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,680
Speaker 1: of I am the thing. I guess I try and

1319
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:29,760
Speaker 1: present of having figured it out and having this sort

1320
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 1: of you know, being entirely in control of things. I

1321
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 1: have more doubt than you know, well as much doubt

1322
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 1: as anyone, or more doubt than anyone. I don't know,

1323
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 1: but I have a lot of inner criticism and so on,

1324
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 1: and this, I don't know. I felt a real lift

1325
01:08:45,720 --> 01:08:50,320
Speaker 1: in that, and I felt like there was plenty that

1326
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 1: there are plenty more opportunities or should be to do

1327
01:08:54,160 --> 01:09:00,120
Speaker 1: things that have a deeper message and can resonate on

1328
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:03,639
Speaker 1: a larger scale, and they can mean something. It doesn't

1329
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 1: just have to be purely entertainment. It doesn't just have

1330
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:08,200
Speaker 1: to be it can have a deeper message, you know.

1331
01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I cut myself some slack. I

1332
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:17,760
Speaker 1: guess I sort of sense of sort of pride that

1333
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:18,719
Speaker 1: I hadn't felt before.

1334
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:22,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love you, and that I'm glad you're finally giving.

1335
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:24,600
Speaker 1: Yourself And I'm not saying I'm kind of, you know,

1336
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 1: disapproving of ely I've done. And but I don't know,

1337
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 1: it resonated on a different level to me.

1338
01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's real. I think it's real. I

1339
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:37,960
Speaker 2: think I think that's they just feed different things right

1340
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 2: in the same ways that you can make something purely

1341
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 2: entertaining that makes people have the best time and laugh

1342
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 2: and whatever it is making something that personal, Yeah, there's

1343
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:49,519
Speaker 2: there's nothing like it. Like I'm sure it was almost

1344
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:53,640
Speaker 2: more gratifying watching your dad watch himself and it was

1345
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 2: ever seeing any of your movies, because that's how we're designed.

1346
01:09:56,439 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 2: Like I feel like we're like we're wired for generous

1347
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 2: he is, humans were wired for that connection. So it's

1348
01:10:03,439 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 2: it's you know, when you were seeing that person that

1349
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,320
Speaker 2: you love, what's themselves. Yeah, it's way better than seeing

1350
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:10,240
Speaker 2: yourself on the screen.

1351
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:11,840
Speaker 1: Visually next to me. And I spent as much time

1352
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:14,719
Speaker 1: looking to him to sit as I did at the screen.

1353
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:19,040
Speaker 1: And at the end of the film, something you said

1354
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: to me. On my first ever film, I spent a

1355
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 1: small part in Star Trek and he flew in for

1356
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 1: the premiere in La with a moment and the end

1357
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 1: of the film, he grabbed me, kissed me on the

1358
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:30,360
Speaker 1: top of the headingers you were the best in your row,

1359
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:33,320
Speaker 1: And every single film I've done, he's like, you were

1360
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 1: the best in your row. You know, you were the

1361
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 1: best in your class type thing. And it's this like

1362
01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:40,080
Speaker 1: his way of saying, you know, and then he would

1363
01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 1: go on and give the greater sort of summary of

1364
01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:44,080
Speaker 1: it all. But then I leant over to him and

1365
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 1: I said, you're the best in your row, and he goes, yeah,

1366
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:50,160
Speaker 1: not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

1367
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,160
Speaker 1: This again, is a wicked sense of humor about it.

1368
01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:58,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, he comes across. I mean, obviously I've never

1369
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 2: met your dad, but he comes across like so lovable,

1370
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:06,240
Speaker 2: so charming, so endearing, like just you know, just just

1371
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:07,840
Speaker 2: a great dad. Like he definitely like.

1372
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:09,240
Speaker 1: You know, you should know the human.

1373
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:12,320
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, exactly exactly, a good good like good people,

1374
01:11:12,439 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 2: good good human. And there's that beautiful picture that almost

1375
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:18,840
Speaker 2: the whole documentary is kind of centered of, you know,

1376
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,560
Speaker 2: you and your dad. And I was wondering if you,

1377
01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 2: if you would go back to that younger self in

1378
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:26,320
Speaker 2: that picture, what would you say to that younger self.

1379
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 1: I don't know it would be. I'd be cautious to

1380
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 1: say anything, because it's all it's worked out pretty well,

1381
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:42,280
Speaker 1: you know, the slightly older version of that kid. I'd

1382
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:44,479
Speaker 1: say it's going to be okay. In those sort of

1383
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:48,400
Speaker 1: worry some nights that I would kind of spin my

1384
01:11:48,479 --> 01:11:51,360
Speaker 1: wheels on one subject or another and be full of

1385
01:11:51,439 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 1: concern and anxiety and regret and guilt and this kind

1386
01:11:53,800 --> 01:11:59,360
Speaker 1: of strange concoction of emotions. I don't know why, but uh,

1387
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:02,000
Speaker 1: I would like to appease and remove some of that

1388
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,840
Speaker 1: if I could to my younger self by saying, don't worry,

1389
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,479
Speaker 1: just trust in the in the process and go with

1390
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 1: the flow a little more, you know. But then again,

1391
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 1: as I said, I wouldn't change anything, so I want

1392
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 1: to see myself off the path.

1393
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:20,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like almost if you went back and did that,

1394
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:22,439
Speaker 2: then you wouldn't be doing what you're doing today.

1395
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:24,040
Speaker 1: I want the same outcome, but I want it to

1396
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,439
Speaker 1: be less challenging.

1397
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:28,960
Speaker 2: Isn't that all of us? That's so funny that that's

1398
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:32,600
Speaker 2: literally it was like that's that would that is everyone's

1399
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:36,280
Speaker 2: desire in life. It's almost like never the case. It's

1400
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 2: all even this, even you making this documentary was it

1401
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 2: was uncomfortable and now you're sitting back reflecting, going, I'm

1402
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:44,920
Speaker 2: really proud of it. It made me feel good, you know,

1403
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,360
Speaker 2: sitting with my dad, like, but it was an uncomfortable

1404
01:12:47,479 --> 01:12:49,840
Speaker 2: journey of do I make it? Do I not is it?

1405
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,160
Speaker 2: How's it going to look? And so it's such a

1406
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:56,960
Speaker 2: the discomfort to joy. It's so real for all humans.

1407
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,040
Speaker 1: And I don't matter how many times you tell yourself

1408
01:12:59,120 --> 01:13:02,439
Speaker 1: the city is what builds the strength, whether it's in

1409
01:13:02,520 --> 01:13:05,880
Speaker 1: the gym or whether it's emotional experiences. It's like, you'll

1410
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:10,360
Speaker 1: be better for this afterwards. Always yeah, each time like ah,

1411
01:13:10,479 --> 01:13:12,600
Speaker 1: why why me? Why again? Why is just happening? How

1412
01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:14,519
Speaker 1: can I avoid this? How can I you know? And

1413
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: it's like it's a it's a I don't know whether

1414
01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:20,519
Speaker 1: you ever arrive at a place where you're just completely

1415
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:24,200
Speaker 1: on board with the suffering the challenges of the university.

1416
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:26,040
Speaker 1: And you're like, but then if you did, then it

1417
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,680
Speaker 1: wouldn't be suffering. So then you're not learning anything.

1418
01:13:28,479 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 2: Like then you're not working out, Then you're not then

1419
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:32,680
Speaker 2: you're not actually going through it.

1420
01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:35,679
Speaker 1: Okay with this, it's because it's not hurting enough. Yeah,

1421
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:38,439
Speaker 1: give me an extra ten reps. Yeah, okay.

1422
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 2: It's like when you've been in the cold plants for

1423
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 2: seven minutes and now it's not You've just Normalisa, it

1424
01:13:42,960 --> 01:13:45,439
Speaker 2: doesn't matter anymore, just in there for the ego booster.

1425
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:48,320
Speaker 1: Now it's not doing anything you need to do it eight.

1426
01:13:48,439 --> 01:13:51,240
Speaker 2: It's like, Yeah, what do you think that younger self

1427
01:13:51,280 --> 01:13:53,599
Speaker 2: in that picture, or even a bit older would say

1428
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:54,000
Speaker 2: back to you.

1429
01:13:54,920 --> 01:13:57,840
Speaker 1: I think it'd be they'd be like, we're going where

1430
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:00,760
Speaker 1: you don't have the And I think that often about

1431
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:05,840
Speaker 1: if my younger self knew what was install or what

1432
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:09,160
Speaker 1: was coming, they would be you were gonna play superhero

1433
01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:12,519
Speaker 1: play dress ups and we travel the world and and

1434
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:17,640
Speaker 1: being this crazy, crazy adventure with our friends. And I

1435
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:21,280
Speaker 1: think I think they'd be I think they'd be grateful.

1436
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:25,920
Speaker 1: I think they'd be excited. I think they'd make sure

1437
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,439
Speaker 1: I was enjoying it, you know, and not being caught

1438
01:14:28,520 --> 01:14:32,200
Speaker 1: up in the next one or the over calculation of

1439
01:14:32,240 --> 01:14:33,080
Speaker 1: it all. You know.

1440
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like that. It's almost like living life

1441
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:40,759
Speaker 2: from that perspective is the only yeah worthy one because

1442
01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:43,080
Speaker 2: from that lens, you look at it and you go,

1443
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:46,840
Speaker 2: I'm grateful and happy and joyful. Yeah, And there's some

1444
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:50,479
Speaker 2: power in just looking back at your life from that

1445
01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:51,479
Speaker 2: younger self.

1446
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 1: For sure. Yeah, And they'd look up and go, you're

1447
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:57,040
Speaker 1: doing a good job. You know.

1448
01:14:57,560 --> 01:14:58,719
Speaker 2: They wouldn't have the criticism.

1449
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like were you You're trying to better the

1450
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:07,320
Speaker 1: situation for that younger version of yourself or the dream

1451
01:15:07,360 --> 01:15:09,680
Speaker 1: you had then, or this sort of the thing you

1452
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:17,640
Speaker 1: you know, that the sort of the prior imagining of

1453
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:20,720
Speaker 1: it all, you know. And yeah, and I've thought about

1454
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:25,719
Speaker 1: that before, Like the younger self would be wildly impressed

1455
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,280
Speaker 1: by it, you know, so so should you. Yeah. But

1456
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:31,080
Speaker 1: you know.

1457
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:35,960
Speaker 2: That's the funny part, right that that that younger self

1458
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:38,479
Speaker 2: that's still inside of us, is the part of us

1459
01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:40,640
Speaker 2: that doesn't have the criticism and the judgment and the

1460
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:44,479
Speaker 2: harsh words, and just as like this childlike excitement and

1461
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:48,120
Speaker 2: thrill and enthusiasm, and it's still there inside all of us.

1462
01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:51,280
Speaker 2: It's just you don't you almost don't let it breathe

1463
01:15:51,320 --> 01:15:53,640
Speaker 2: because you kind of treat it as like not as

1464
01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:56,200
Speaker 2: smarter or not as intelligent, you know.

1465
01:15:56,640 --> 01:16:00,519
Speaker 1: I mean that's and that is what I I chase

1466
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:04,240
Speaker 1: all the time in a performance setting is like how

1467
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:08,759
Speaker 1: would the what would my mindset be as a child

1468
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:10,800
Speaker 1: in this in this situation, and what would I how

1469
01:16:10,960 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 1: vivid would my imagination be? How you know, let it

1470
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:17,080
Speaker 1: run wild? And every now and then I get a

1471
01:16:17,120 --> 01:16:18,920
Speaker 1: hold of that or I find myself in that state

1472
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:22,600
Speaker 1: and it's completely unencumbered with the thought and the criticism,

1473
01:16:22,640 --> 01:16:24,720
Speaker 1: and you're like flying, You're in the moment, you know.

1474
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:29,560
Speaker 1: And and I had Downey, Robert Downey to say this

1475
01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:30,920
Speaker 1: to me once in the scene where I sort of

1476
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:32,880
Speaker 1: improvised something and something happened and he comes up to me,

1477
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,559
Speaker 1: how to feel I said, cool, that was really good,

1478
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:38,000
Speaker 1: and he goes, happens like a couple of times in

1479
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:40,000
Speaker 1: the career and goes grab a hold of it, remember it,

1480
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:41,960
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, but what it was was

1481
01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:47,280
Speaker 1: that and the non judgmental, childlike version of myself, you know.

1482
01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:50,559
Speaker 1: And I think to take that into all aspects of life,

1483
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:52,120
Speaker 1: not just when I was in front of the camera,

1484
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,920
Speaker 1: has been really important and has been a real lesson,

1485
01:16:55,080 --> 01:17:02,560
Speaker 1: is to be more adventurous, inquisitive and curious and not

1486
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:06,200
Speaker 1: so much for outcome, base focused, you know, just be

1487
01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:09,120
Speaker 1: sort of moment to moment and allowing that sort of

1488
01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:12,080
Speaker 1: the cheekiness of children, and they're sort of the slight rebellious,

1489
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,760
Speaker 1: sort of you know, less concerned with the rules version

1490
01:17:15,760 --> 01:17:18,439
Speaker 1: of ourselves come out. Yeah, but like you said, but

1491
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:22,160
Speaker 1: then it's uh, you know, that's that's it's inconsistent with

1492
01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:25,560
Speaker 1: how the adult version should behave and that's irresponsible and

1493
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:28,240
Speaker 1: so on. It's like it doesn't matter. I don't know

1494
01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:32,720
Speaker 1: anyone getting hurt now, yeah, we'll carry on. Yeah.

1495
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,240
Speaker 2: I think there's a big difference between being child like

1496
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:35,959
Speaker 2: in childish.

1497
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:37,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah.

1498
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:39,600
Speaker 2: And we don't often know the difference, yea. And so

1499
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:44,120
Speaker 2: we pressure down or suppress our childlike self, yeah, because

1500
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,560
Speaker 2: we we're scared we might get childish. And it's the

1501
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:50,040
Speaker 2: intelligent self sees the childish partners are whatever. Yeah, but

1502
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:52,920
Speaker 2: it's the childlike self that we know exists and has

1503
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 2: that power. There's this when I'm doing workshops, I have

1504
01:17:55,520 --> 01:17:58,040
Speaker 2: this thing called the thirty circles test. It's basically an

1505
01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:00,880
Speaker 2: a four piece of paper with thirty on it. And

1506
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,080
Speaker 2: I'll do this with executives across the world and big

1507
01:18:03,160 --> 01:18:04,639
Speaker 2: companies and all the rest of it. And I'll say

1508
01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:09,160
Speaker 2: you've got thirty seconds to uniquely complete thirty circles. That's

1509
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:11,160
Speaker 2: the only instruction they get. And they all have a pencil,

1510
01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 2: so everyone starts scribbling. There's a timer, and then the

1511
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:16,599
Speaker 2: time starts going down, and then I go five, four, three, two,

1512
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:19,360
Speaker 2: one times up. Some of them keep scribbling, like you know,

1513
01:18:19,479 --> 01:18:21,640
Speaker 2: trying to get some more time in. And then they

1514
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:23,400
Speaker 2: stop and I ask them what they've done, and the

1515
01:18:23,439 --> 01:18:26,160
Speaker 2: top five answers are always someone wrote the numbers one

1516
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:29,599
Speaker 2: to thirty in every circle. The second answer is people

1517
01:18:29,640 --> 01:18:33,519
Speaker 2: wrote eight to z and then ABCD, and then people

1518
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:38,040
Speaker 2: do squiggles, people do emojis and little smiley faces, sad faces,

1519
01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:41,759
Speaker 2: football's pizzas, all that kind of stuff, and that's pretty

1520
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:44,160
Speaker 2: much it. And these are like the smartest executives, cmo

1521
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,519
Speaker 2: CEOs whatever of all the big you know, Fortune five

1522
01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:48,519
Speaker 2: hundred companies and all the rest of it. And then

1523
01:18:48,520 --> 01:18:51,439
Speaker 2: I've done the same thing with kids, and with ten

1524
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:55,519
Speaker 2: year olds usually, and I learned this from the person

1525
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:59,640
Speaker 2: who built the thirty circles test. And the kids just

1526
01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:02,920
Speaker 2: come up these amazing things. So this one boy, he

1527
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,720
Speaker 2: put a line around it, put a little sign on top,

1528
01:19:06,720 --> 01:19:09,080
Speaker 2: and then put lines on the circles. And when I

1529
01:19:09,080 --> 01:19:10,280
Speaker 2: asked him what it was, he said it was a

1530
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:13,600
Speaker 2: bag of tennis balls, and because he plays tennis. And

1531
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:16,439
Speaker 2: then there was this other girl who she did all

1532
01:19:16,479 --> 01:19:19,439
Speaker 2: this intricate line work, like straight lines on each piece

1533
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:20,880
Speaker 2: and different things, and then when I asked her what

1534
01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:22,760
Speaker 2: it was, she said it was a bird's eye view

1535
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:26,040
Speaker 2: of a chessboard and because she she loves flaying chess.

1536
01:19:26,040 --> 01:19:27,840
Speaker 2: And then my favorite one. I always remember this one.

1537
01:19:27,840 --> 01:19:31,280
Speaker 2: There's this little girl who did intricate circles and curves

1538
01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:32,600
Speaker 2: and all this kind of stuff, and asked her what

1539
01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:34,439
Speaker 2: it was. She held the paper like this, she goes

1540
01:19:34,439 --> 01:19:37,080
Speaker 2: this bubble wrap and it was just like this really

1541
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:39,759
Speaker 2: like childlike, you know, and you never get an adult

1542
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:42,439
Speaker 2: doing any of them, because we just hear thirty circles,

1543
01:19:42,479 --> 01:19:45,880
Speaker 2: thirty seconds, get the job done and get you get

1544
01:19:45,920 --> 01:19:48,280
Speaker 2: these kids who just have this little bit of freedom

1545
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:52,160
Speaker 2: still where they haven't got trained to shut that out.

1546
01:19:52,280 --> 01:19:57,720
Speaker 1: But I haven't, you know, deeply embedded our neural pathways

1547
01:19:57,800 --> 01:20:03,920
Speaker 1: around ideas and expectations and you know, the assumption around

1548
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:07,040
Speaker 1: the right and the wrong. It's you know, the mind

1549
01:20:07,200 --> 01:20:11,200
Speaker 1: that is wide open at that point. And yeah, I

1550
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,920
Speaker 1: think we all can do the heavy dose of getting

1551
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:16,400
Speaker 1: back to the time of our life.

1552
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:20,960
Speaker 2: You've been married for fifteen years now something like that, Yeah,

1553
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:25,960
Speaker 2: fifteen years, and you've got three wonderful children, you know,

1554
01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:28,320
Speaker 2: and how old is the oldest?

1555
01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:31,879
Speaker 1: Know, my daughter's thirteen, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1556
01:20:31,720 --> 01:20:34,160
Speaker 2: So she stands in Yeah, what would you say your

1557
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:38,639
Speaker 2: kids have taught you that you didn't anticipate their word.

1558
01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:44,320
Speaker 1: I'd like to say they taught me patients. They're attempting

1559
01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:46,680
Speaker 1: to teach you patients, because I don't know that I'm

1560
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:49,439
Speaker 1: figured it out. I mean, you talk about the ways

1561
01:20:49,520 --> 01:20:52,360
Speaker 1: you kind of you know, it can be in control

1562
01:20:52,520 --> 01:20:55,439
Speaker 1: and being authority in spaces and have it all figured out,

1563
01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:58,360
Speaker 1: and then that door opens and it's just chaos, and

1564
01:20:58,439 --> 01:21:04,479
Speaker 1: it's like I'm failing every single component of this. The again,

1565
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:09,080
Speaker 1: the importance of time, you know, and and the things

1566
01:21:09,160 --> 01:21:13,320
Speaker 1: that I thought we're going to bring great joy and

1567
01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:15,120
Speaker 1: the things that I was going to provide and give

1568
01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:19,680
Speaker 1: comfort security. It's far simpler than that. It's attention, you know.

1569
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:22,680
Speaker 1: They want your presence, they want your space, they want

1570
01:21:22,720 --> 01:21:27,840
Speaker 1: your focus, and and we overcomplicate it so often with

1571
01:21:30,160 --> 01:21:34,439
Speaker 1: the attempts are sort of more extravagant experiences and things,

1572
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:37,840
Speaker 1: and yet they just want your time, you know. And

1573
01:21:37,960 --> 01:21:46,280
Speaker 1: that for me has been terrifying at times realizing how

1574
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:48,479
Speaker 1: quick it's gone, you know, and I think I'll get

1575
01:21:48,479 --> 01:21:49,960
Speaker 1: to that, and then a year goes by and I've

1576
01:21:50,280 --> 01:21:52,120
Speaker 1: done a couple of films or whatever and gone, oh wow,

1577
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:56,479
Speaker 1: what which part of their you know, brief childhood have

1578
01:21:56,560 --> 01:22:00,479
Speaker 1: I have I missed? And so they've taught me a

1579
01:22:00,520 --> 01:22:05,320
Speaker 1: greater awareness around the importance of this moment because their

1580
01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:08,599
Speaker 1: personalities change every second and every day and every week

1581
01:22:08,640 --> 01:22:13,000
Speaker 1: and every month, and you kind of you're mourning a

1582
01:22:13,160 --> 01:22:17,479
Speaker 1: version of that child every month because they're gone. You know,

1583
01:22:17,560 --> 01:22:19,760
Speaker 1: you look at the sort of the three year old

1584
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:21,040
Speaker 1: and you think, oh wow, this is it and can't

1585
01:22:21,040 --> 01:22:22,800
Speaker 1: wait till they're out an appiers and doing this. And

1586
01:22:22,840 --> 01:22:24,720
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden they're four and five and

1587
01:22:24,760 --> 01:22:28,080
Speaker 1: they're adding appiers and you've put the stroller away. You're like,

1588
01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:29,880
Speaker 1: oh god, I wish I had that version back. And

1589
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:33,400
Speaker 1: then so you're constantly saying goodbye to little versions of

1590
01:22:33,439 --> 01:22:38,800
Speaker 1: these people. And so just pay attention, just be here,

1591
01:22:38,960 --> 01:22:43,360
Speaker 1: be present, and they don't care about the things they

1592
01:22:43,439 --> 01:22:46,519
Speaker 1: are the sort of larger achievements and you know, an

1593
01:22:46,560 --> 01:22:48,200
Speaker 1: award or a big film or this and that and

1594
01:22:48,240 --> 01:22:51,200
Speaker 1: the other. You know, if they do momentarily oh it's cool, whatever, gone.

1595
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:54,679
Speaker 1: They just want you there. And that's comforting, I find,

1596
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,960
Speaker 1: you know, because the pressure you put on yourself about

1597
01:22:57,000 --> 01:23:00,560
Speaker 1: those those you know, more superficial sort of pmplishments and

1598
01:23:00,640 --> 01:23:05,280
Speaker 1: things are important on one hand, but not as important

1599
01:23:05,280 --> 01:23:06,360
Speaker 1: as just being there.

1600
01:23:06,640 --> 01:23:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's been there? What's been the key to fifteen

1601
01:23:10,280 --> 01:23:11,040
Speaker 2: years together.

1602
01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:17,760
Speaker 1: Having fun? I think, you know, both having a sort

1603
01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:22,320
Speaker 1: of bit adventurous spirit, making time for one another. I

1604
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:26,400
Speaker 1: think the complicated times have been when it's been all work,

1605
01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:29,360
Speaker 1: all kids, and all of a sudden, the us in

1606
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:32,799
Speaker 1: the relationship is what is sort of the non existent.

1607
01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:35,840
Speaker 1: You know, you're you're you're just kind of managing a

1608
01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:40,400
Speaker 1: household or the work family schedule, and else will be

1609
01:23:40,439 --> 01:23:41,639
Speaker 1: off on work, and then I'll be off and work,

1610
01:23:41,680 --> 01:23:44,120
Speaker 1: and then it's chaos at kids and the kid kid time,

1611
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:48,320
Speaker 1: and and so sort of removing ourselves from all of

1612
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:50,840
Speaker 1: that and just having time for the two of us

1613
01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:54,240
Speaker 1: and making space for each other rather than the rest

1614
01:23:54,280 --> 01:23:57,120
Speaker 1: of the world that can be so all consuming.

1615
01:23:57,240 --> 01:23:59,200
Speaker 2: You know, that must be so hard though, right with

1616
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:00,200
Speaker 2: your schedule.

1617
01:24:00,080 --> 01:24:04,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, it is, it's it's I think it's

1618
01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:06,840
Speaker 1: just hard to sort of for anyone really, you know,

1619
01:24:07,240 --> 01:24:11,360
Speaker 1: it's all relative and you know we yeah, it's challenging,

1620
01:24:11,439 --> 01:24:13,920
Speaker 1: but we also have opportunity to make it work. We

1621
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:18,800
Speaker 1: have no excuse as far as like how how much

1622
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:20,759
Speaker 1: time we can make for each other during the support

1623
01:24:20,840 --> 01:24:25,920
Speaker 1: we can get and to do our situation. So yeah,

1624
01:24:26,040 --> 01:24:28,360
Speaker 1: just making each other laugh, you know, just kind of

1625
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:33,600
Speaker 1: because there's so that there's so much over sort of

1626
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:36,120
Speaker 1: focus on these kind of the importance and the intense

1627
01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:38,680
Speaker 1: sort of things and the big decisions. And then it's

1628
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:40,880
Speaker 1: the same with the kids. It's like the stuff that

1629
01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:43,240
Speaker 1: really resonates and when you really get along and you

1630
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:45,439
Speaker 1: really kind of feel like you're just here in this

1631
01:24:45,520 --> 01:24:52,040
Speaker 1: space is when there's there's humor involved adventure, and there's curiosity,

1632
01:24:52,120 --> 01:24:55,280
Speaker 1: when there's openness to kind of make a fool of

1633
01:24:55,320 --> 01:25:02,200
Speaker 1: yourself and self deprecation. All that I think is that's

1634
01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:04,519
Speaker 1: what you can hold. You know, there's always that spark

1635
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:06,320
Speaker 1: and that attraction, but what it comes down to is

1636
01:25:06,800 --> 01:25:10,479
Speaker 1: his friendship companionship at the end and the moment you're

1637
01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:13,120
Speaker 1: run out of things to talk about and you lack

1638
01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:17,080
Speaker 1: that curiosity and interesting one another is you know, that's

1639
01:25:17,120 --> 01:25:21,120
Speaker 1: what it's concerning, and that's it. You know, you've got

1640
01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:24,679
Speaker 1: to you keep digging, you know, sort of again coming

1641
01:25:24,760 --> 01:25:27,600
Speaker 1: to some arrival or or insisting on a sort of

1642
01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:31,080
Speaker 1: finer conclusion to it is there's a finish line then,

1643
01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, and to understanding you don't entirely ever know

1644
01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:36,240
Speaker 1: each other, and you'll continue to try and figure it out.

1645
01:25:36,800 --> 01:25:39,880
Speaker 1: And as you're trying to figure as you're trying to

1646
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:43,000
Speaker 1: greater have a greater understanding of yourself as well in

1647
01:25:43,080 --> 01:25:45,760
Speaker 1: that experience, I think is important to keep it the

1648
01:25:46,560 --> 01:25:48,320
Speaker 1: front of your thinking. You know, it allows you to

1649
01:25:48,400 --> 01:25:50,880
Speaker 1: forgive each other, It allows you to be more compassionate

1650
01:25:50,920 --> 01:25:53,080
Speaker 1: with each other, allows you to have greater understandings for

1651
01:25:53,160 --> 01:25:57,800
Speaker 1: both of your shortcomings and the things we might you

1652
01:25:57,880 --> 01:26:05,960
Speaker 1: know that the less versions of ourselves we might think of. Yeah,

1653
01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:09,360
Speaker 1: I think it's that that you know has kept us

1654
01:26:09,400 --> 01:26:10,360
Speaker 1: in check. Yeah.

1655
01:26:10,439 --> 01:26:12,679
Speaker 2: I love the part of you saying when you still

1656
01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:14,400
Speaker 2: don't know each other, like you still get in to

1657
01:26:14,479 --> 01:26:17,559
Speaker 2: it like that's that's I think, such a beautiful thing

1658
01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:20,800
Speaker 2: if like you're you still believe there's more to know

1659
01:26:21,520 --> 01:26:25,280
Speaker 2: about this person that you see every day and live with,

1660
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:27,320
Speaker 2: and you still believe, no, there's more to know. I

1661
01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:30,560
Speaker 2: don't know them fully, and that keeps it fresh and

1662
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:33,880
Speaker 2: new and exciting because there's an acceptance whereas as soon

1663
01:26:33,920 --> 01:26:36,360
Speaker 2: as you think, oh, I know them and I know

1664
01:26:36,680 --> 01:26:38,800
Speaker 2: their habits and I can kind of predict everything they do,

1665
01:26:40,040 --> 01:26:41,360
Speaker 2: and there is a part of that and that's a

1666
01:26:41,400 --> 01:26:43,200
Speaker 2: helpful thing, like oh, I know when they're tired, and

1667
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,519
Speaker 2: I know when they need space, and I know when

1668
01:26:45,560 --> 01:26:47,960
Speaker 2: they're hungry or hungry or whatever it may be. And

1669
01:26:48,040 --> 01:26:50,439
Speaker 2: that's helpful, of course it is. But then it's also

1670
01:26:50,479 --> 01:26:52,639
Speaker 2: the acceptance of I actually don't know them because they're

1671
01:26:52,720 --> 01:26:54,639
Speaker 2: changing and they're growing, and I haven't seen the mother

1672
01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:57,200
Speaker 2: version or the mother of three or the mother you know,

1673
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,400
Speaker 2: there's there's all these iterations that we almost think, well,

1674
01:27:00,439 --> 01:27:01,439
Speaker 2: no people stay the same.

1675
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:04,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And it is, and it's having a sort

1676
01:27:04,160 --> 01:27:08,160
Speaker 1: of allowance for that and a bit of compassion around

1677
01:27:10,479 --> 01:27:13,400
Speaker 1: you know, do we ever even know ourselves entirely? You know,

1678
01:27:13,840 --> 01:27:17,880
Speaker 1: how could we ever entirely know somebody else? But you

1679
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:21,320
Speaker 1: have to keep reminding yourself to be curious and to

1680
01:27:21,479 --> 01:27:25,200
Speaker 1: sort of embody the humility to go, oh, I don't

1681
01:27:26,160 --> 01:27:28,200
Speaker 1: entirely understand I know that, but that's okay. I don't

1682
01:27:28,240 --> 01:27:32,320
Speaker 1: have to. I don't have to, you know, I don't

1683
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:35,880
Speaker 1: have to entirely. You know, the sort of a pattern

1684
01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:39,519
Speaker 1: recognition and you have your expectations and someone but having

1685
01:27:39,600 --> 01:27:46,760
Speaker 1: a little more openness to and and curiosity enthusiasm to

1686
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:50,880
Speaker 1: understand what is it that makes you tick today versus

1687
01:27:50,960 --> 01:27:54,960
Speaker 1: tomorrow versus yesterday, you know, as opposed to thinking I

1688
01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:56,840
Speaker 1: know all of your tricks, you know all am I.

1689
01:27:58,360 --> 01:28:00,720
Speaker 1: It takes away the sort of presumption I guess we

1690
01:28:00,880 --> 01:28:05,120
Speaker 1: have around each other, which is, you know, it is

1691
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:09,640
Speaker 1: often cause for complication. I think you know, I know

1692
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:11,160
Speaker 1: why you did that. I don't know why you're going

1693
01:28:11,240 --> 01:28:12,600
Speaker 1: to do this, and I don't know. It's just like

1694
01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:15,000
Speaker 1: then comes to eye roll in the contempt and then

1695
01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:17,760
Speaker 1: then you're down a dangerous You know.

1696
01:28:18,439 --> 01:28:20,519
Speaker 2: If else was here sitting right next to me right now,

1697
01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:23,320
Speaker 2: what would she tell me about you that would surprise me?

1698
01:28:26,200 --> 01:28:28,320
Speaker 1: You don't know, I don't know.

1699
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:29,519
Speaker 2: You'd have to ask.

1700
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:33,439
Speaker 1: To ask, have interviews. I'm like, why did you tell

1701
01:28:33,439 --> 01:28:34,120
Speaker 1: them that that's not.

1702
01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:40,760
Speaker 2: That's the best react to it?

1703
01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:45,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, good ways and then ways, I'm like, it's not

1704
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:47,800
Speaker 1: true when you do, I don't know.

1705
01:29:05,840 --> 01:29:08,360
Speaker 2: Have you had the conversation with your kids about their

1706
01:29:08,520 --> 01:29:12,040
Speaker 2: granddad's also, have you yeah, walked me through that part?

1707
01:29:13,040 --> 01:29:15,200
Speaker 2: How do you explain it? How does that conversation?

1708
01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:21,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's been really interesting because I they're they're

1709
01:29:21,880 --> 01:29:23,600
Speaker 1: the biggest kind of lessons of the most sort of

1710
01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:28,000
Speaker 1: profound sort of shifts in our sort of our growth,

1711
01:29:28,080 --> 01:29:33,400
Speaker 1: I think as individuals is around confronting moments, and I

1712
01:29:33,479 --> 01:29:37,880
Speaker 1: was it was very important for me to have them

1713
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:41,560
Speaker 1: understand what was happening and articulate what this meant and

1714
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:44,200
Speaker 1: also what it meant for me, you know, rather than

1715
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:49,120
Speaker 1: I guess protect or you know, avoid that situation for

1716
01:29:49,200 --> 01:29:51,600
Speaker 1: them or that discomfort. I was kind of it was

1717
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:53,920
Speaker 1: very important, and so when I would talk to them

1718
01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:56,360
Speaker 1: about it, Initially they'd be like, Okay, what does that mean.

1719
01:29:56,600 --> 01:29:58,479
Speaker 1: Ye he's going to forget his memories? Okay, And then

1720
01:29:58,520 --> 01:30:00,439
Speaker 1: they'd go and see him and they got Dad's yes,

1721
01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:03,640
Speaker 1: and then they would kind of go He asked me

1722
01:30:03,720 --> 01:30:05,120
Speaker 1: this three times, and I said, well, this is what

1723
01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:07,080
Speaker 1: it is, and now you might have to look after

1724
01:30:07,160 --> 01:30:08,519
Speaker 1: me one day, and this is what we do that

1725
01:30:08,640 --> 01:30:10,840
Speaker 1: this is family, and this is the importance of you know,

1726
01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:13,080
Speaker 1: this connection and the support we have for one another

1727
01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:19,160
Speaker 1: and having compassion for vulnerable challenging times. And and they've

1728
01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:22,280
Speaker 1: been great with it, you know, they have they have

1729
01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:25,800
Speaker 1: big hearts. My kids. I'm so thankful for that, you know,

1730
01:30:26,280 --> 01:30:29,479
Speaker 1: and there is an abundance of sort of compassion there

1731
01:30:29,560 --> 01:30:31,479
Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, cool, what do you need from us?

1732
01:30:31,520 --> 01:30:33,719
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, cool an ul rally and go around

1733
01:30:33,760 --> 01:30:36,760
Speaker 1: and you know, ah dad questions and things and talk

1734
01:30:36,760 --> 01:30:39,360
Speaker 1: about old memories and things I've talked about with them

1735
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:45,479
Speaker 1: and yeah, and then they'll also be little maniacs not

1736
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:48,840
Speaker 1: care about any of it on other occasions. But for

1737
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,639
Speaker 1: the most part, they've they've been really good. And my son,

1738
01:30:51,960 --> 01:30:56,000
Speaker 1: one of my boys, actually at the screening was really

1739
01:30:56,040 --> 01:31:00,160
Speaker 1: emotional and it really kind of was really surprised, and

1740
01:31:00,240 --> 01:31:01,960
Speaker 1: then he was like in the car and the way home,

1741
01:31:02,120 --> 01:31:04,840
Speaker 1: like got really upset. He said, I just I just

1742
01:31:04,920 --> 01:31:07,640
Speaker 1: love Craigie so much. And I said, well, you're still here,

1743
01:31:07,720 --> 01:31:10,320
Speaker 1: you know, make sure you tell him. And he said,

1744
01:31:10,360 --> 01:31:12,040
Speaker 1: I am. I want to go around there more, and

1745
01:31:12,120 --> 01:31:15,640
Speaker 1: I want to have more barbecues and ride motorbikes with him.

1746
01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:18,680
Speaker 1: And it was this great kind of I think, sort

1747
01:31:18,720 --> 01:31:20,519
Speaker 1: of awakening for him. You know, it was real, but

1748
01:31:20,680 --> 01:31:23,880
Speaker 1: until he saw that the documentary, it wasn't as real.

1749
01:31:24,080 --> 01:31:29,720
Speaker 1: And his brother, who isn't probably as articulate with his

1750
01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:33,560
Speaker 1: sort of emotions, was it was still affecting him, you know,

1751
01:31:33,760 --> 01:31:35,960
Speaker 1: and both were like, and he was sort of agreeing, Yep, yep,

1752
01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:38,519
Speaker 1: let's go and be with him more and let's you know,

1753
01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:40,240
Speaker 1: let's make the most of this opportunity.

1754
01:31:40,320 --> 01:31:42,040
Speaker 2: So, yeah, that must have been amazing scene.

1755
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:44,720
Speaker 1: Their reaction to it, well, yeah, it was. It was,

1756
01:31:45,040 --> 01:31:46,840
Speaker 1: and it was I wasn't even focusing on it, you know.

1757
01:31:47,320 --> 01:31:48,920
Speaker 1: It was I was to write there with my dad,

1758
01:31:49,960 --> 01:31:51,960
Speaker 1: and at the end of it, they were there and

1759
01:31:52,000 --> 01:31:53,639
Speaker 1: in the car and the way home talking and I thought,

1760
01:31:53,840 --> 01:31:57,920
Speaker 1: oh wow, I was sort of just focused on this moment.

1761
01:31:58,000 --> 01:32:02,439
Speaker 1: But now this is the next generation coming in that

1762
01:32:02,560 --> 01:32:05,880
Speaker 1: sort of the transference from one of the other and

1763
01:32:05,920 --> 01:32:08,160
Speaker 1: the experience of my dad's had had and passed me,

1764
01:32:08,280 --> 01:32:09,439
Speaker 1: and now I passed my kids.

1765
01:32:09,479 --> 01:32:14,000
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's also the power of just media and

1766
01:32:14,080 --> 01:32:17,840
Speaker 2: storytelling in a way that if we could all personalize

1767
01:32:18,720 --> 01:32:21,640
Speaker 2: in a world where you're not a movie star and

1768
01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,560
Speaker 2: you're not making a documentary. And it's almost like I

1769
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:30,479
Speaker 2: went to two friends' seventieth birthday parties this year and

1770
01:32:31,360 --> 01:32:35,680
Speaker 2: I've not known them. I've known them both separately, two

1771
01:32:35,760 --> 01:32:37,680
Speaker 2: two different people, and I've probably known them both for

1772
01:32:38,160 --> 01:32:39,479
Speaker 2: maybe the last ten years.

1773
01:32:39,560 --> 01:32:39,800
Speaker 1: If that.

1774
01:32:40,160 --> 01:32:42,439
Speaker 2: So, I've not known them for like sixty years of

1775
01:32:42,439 --> 01:32:44,240
Speaker 2: their life. I've got to know them in the last ten.

1776
01:32:45,160 --> 01:32:48,280
Speaker 2: And these birthday parties were filled with people they've known

1777
01:32:48,400 --> 01:32:52,400
Speaker 2: for nearly seventy years. And it was old friends and

1778
01:32:52,439 --> 01:32:56,160
Speaker 2: of course their kids and grandkids and families, and you know,

1779
01:32:56,479 --> 01:32:59,040
Speaker 2: they weren't huge parties, but they were big in that

1780
01:32:59,120 --> 01:33:02,479
Speaker 2: there were lots of very close people there, teachers and

1781
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:06,720
Speaker 2: you know, business partners and just just everyone. And it

1782
01:33:06,880 --> 01:33:10,479
Speaker 2: was so beautiful, like it was such a special thing

1783
01:33:10,560 --> 01:33:14,439
Speaker 2: to attend as someone who's not seventy years old and go, wow,

1784
01:33:14,560 --> 01:33:16,880
Speaker 2: like what an incredible life these two people have lived.

1785
01:33:17,640 --> 01:33:20,560
Speaker 2: How amazing it is to see them celebrate it, and

1786
01:33:20,720 --> 01:33:23,240
Speaker 2: how and they're not movie stars, and how amazing it

1787
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:26,120
Speaker 2: is for their families to have made media about them.

1788
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:29,880
Speaker 2: So whether it's like a little homemade video of their

1789
01:33:29,960 --> 01:33:33,160
Speaker 2: highlight reel for seventy years, or whether it's messages from

1790
01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:34,599
Speaker 2: over the years. And I was just like the power

1791
01:33:34,680 --> 01:33:36,160
Speaker 2: and it's like I've only known them for the last

1792
01:33:36,160 --> 01:33:39,200
Speaker 2: ten years, but I'm like weeping at these videos and

1793
01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:41,240
Speaker 2: i haven't even been there for that long, like compared

1794
01:33:41,240 --> 01:33:43,400
Speaker 2: to everyone else in the room, but there's a power

1795
01:33:43,439 --> 01:33:45,760
Speaker 2: to that and how connected we feel when you see

1796
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:48,640
Speaker 2: someone's story being told, and it makes you wonder how

1797
01:33:48,720 --> 01:33:50,519
Speaker 2: much more we can all do that for our families

1798
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:53,320
Speaker 2: and the people we love, even if it's not on

1799
01:33:53,400 --> 01:33:55,360
Speaker 2: a big you know, you're not going to a premiere

1800
01:33:55,479 --> 01:33:57,519
Speaker 2: or anything like that. But how much of a need

1801
01:33:57,600 --> 01:34:01,880
Speaker 2: there is for celebrating people milestone, yeah, for sure, and

1802
01:34:02,360 --> 01:34:06,200
Speaker 2: kind of taking a moment to create storytelling around them

1803
01:34:06,200 --> 01:34:07,679
Speaker 2: so other people can appreciate them better.

1804
01:34:07,920 --> 01:34:10,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It's I think the most important thing

1805
01:34:10,840 --> 01:34:15,800
Speaker 1: to see one another and to be seen and to

1806
01:34:15,920 --> 01:34:22,200
Speaker 1: recognize and other others the beauty and what they have represented,

1807
01:34:22,320 --> 01:34:26,320
Speaker 1: what they have given you. We don't often, you know,

1808
01:34:26,520 --> 01:34:28,959
Speaker 1: I mean at the milestones and parties and the birthdays

1809
01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:32,160
Speaker 1: and someone we might you know, offer that up, but

1810
01:34:32,760 --> 01:34:34,360
Speaker 1: I don't think we do it enough, you know, And

1811
01:34:35,320 --> 01:34:41,800
Speaker 1: it's it's incredibly important because you you know, without that

1812
01:34:41,920 --> 01:34:44,680
Speaker 1: recognition from someone else, we don't really know kind of

1813
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:46,519
Speaker 1: our effect on the world. We don't really you know.

1814
01:34:46,600 --> 01:34:49,240
Speaker 1: We can assume and think this or that, but for

1815
01:34:49,320 --> 01:34:52,840
Speaker 1: the most part it's a sort of imagined experience, you know,

1816
01:34:53,200 --> 01:34:55,240
Speaker 1: and the actuality of the reality of it when someone

1817
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:56,920
Speaker 1: else taps you on the shoulder and says, hey, this

1818
01:34:57,080 --> 01:35:00,639
Speaker 1: is incredibly important what you've done, and this is incredibly memorable.

1819
01:35:00,680 --> 01:35:03,519
Speaker 1: And they had this amazing, profound effect to me, what

1820
01:35:03,600 --> 01:35:07,760
Speaker 1: you said this one time? We don't I don't think

1821
01:35:07,840 --> 01:35:09,920
Speaker 1: we're as comfortable saying it, or we don't sort of

1822
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:11,120
Speaker 1: do it as often as we should.

1823
01:35:11,520 --> 01:35:14,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and then yeah, it's a good This was

1824
01:35:14,040 --> 01:35:16,200
Speaker 2: definitely a good reminder of that. Yeah, for sure to

1825
01:35:16,240 --> 01:35:18,240
Speaker 2: see it and for everyone to recognize that you can

1826
01:35:18,280 --> 01:35:20,599
Speaker 2: do your own version of it. I think that's kind

1827
01:35:20,600 --> 01:35:22,000
Speaker 2: of what I was the whole time I was watching it.

1828
01:35:22,040 --> 01:35:23,360
Speaker 2: I was just like, Yeah, I wish I did that

1829
01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:24,680
Speaker 2: with my mentor, and I wish we got the other

1830
01:35:24,720 --> 01:35:26,600
Speaker 2: two and in a good way, not in a not

1831
01:35:26,680 --> 01:35:30,320
Speaker 2: in a painful way, in an excitement everyone else who

1832
01:35:30,840 --> 01:35:32,400
Speaker 2: and you know, doing it with my mom. I remember

1833
01:35:32,439 --> 01:35:34,439
Speaker 2: a few years ago I interviewed my mom, not on

1834
01:35:34,560 --> 01:35:38,120
Speaker 2: the podcast, but just over dinner. And it was my

1835
01:35:38,200 --> 01:35:40,800
Speaker 2: sister's thirtieth birthday. We'd gone away together as me, my mom,

1836
01:35:40,840 --> 01:35:43,759
Speaker 2: and my younger sister, and we just I just interviewed

1837
01:35:43,760 --> 01:35:45,639
Speaker 2: my mom over dinner. It was one of my favorite

1838
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:48,280
Speaker 2: things I've ever done, because I learned so much about

1839
01:35:48,360 --> 01:35:51,600
Speaker 2: her that she'd never told me she's seventy hour she

1840
01:35:51,800 --> 01:35:53,920
Speaker 2: was at that point, and it just it was so

1841
01:35:54,160 --> 01:35:56,880
Speaker 2: special just to ask us some questions that she would

1842
01:35:56,920 --> 01:35:58,720
Speaker 2: never tell me the story about, or she wouldn't she

1843
01:35:58,840 --> 01:36:02,080
Speaker 2: never makes her life sound exciting or different or special,

1844
01:36:02,120 --> 01:36:03,760
Speaker 2: and then you get into and you go, your life

1845
01:36:03,840 --> 01:36:07,040
Speaker 2: is all of those things, And yeah, just you know,

1846
01:36:07,320 --> 01:36:10,360
Speaker 2: what a beautiful thing to give people the right vocabulary.

1847
01:36:10,600 --> 01:36:14,160
Speaker 2: I wonder with with everything you've been saying, what, what's

1848
01:36:14,240 --> 01:36:17,320
Speaker 2: something that you want to get better as as a man?

1849
01:36:18,760 --> 01:36:20,920
Speaker 1: I want to slow down a bit, you know. I

1850
01:36:22,600 --> 01:36:28,439
Speaker 1: feel like that I have been sort of chasing something

1851
01:36:28,560 --> 01:36:32,680
Speaker 1: for so long and achieving something and arriving at a

1852
01:36:32,720 --> 01:36:36,120
Speaker 1: point and then quickly replacing it with something else. And

1853
01:36:37,960 --> 01:36:41,160
Speaker 1: it's afforded me an incredible life, and I've to some

1854
01:36:41,800 --> 01:36:48,960
Speaker 1: wonderful things, but it's I would love to take pause

1855
01:36:49,040 --> 01:36:52,240
Speaker 1: and take stock in kind of this moment more, you know.

1856
01:36:52,680 --> 01:36:55,600
Speaker 1: And and it's not to say I don't want to

1857
01:36:55,680 --> 01:36:57,760
Speaker 1: keep working and do a trieting things, but I want

1858
01:36:57,800 --> 01:37:04,640
Speaker 1: to be less kind of focused on the outcome of it,

1859
01:37:04,880 --> 01:37:07,760
Speaker 1: you know, and just be there for the experience and

1860
01:37:07,920 --> 01:37:10,800
Speaker 1: be there for the joy and the thrill and the

1861
01:37:10,880 --> 01:37:15,320
Speaker 1: adventure and have a greater curiosity around it without being

1862
01:37:15,520 --> 01:37:19,080
Speaker 1: consumed with the what if it goes wrong portion of things,

1863
01:37:19,120 --> 01:37:22,160
Speaker 1: you know. But it's a strange thing because, as we've

1864
01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:25,280
Speaker 1: discussed a few times, you know, well can you have

1865
01:37:25,400 --> 01:37:31,040
Speaker 1: one without the other? But I, you know, I have.

1866
01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:34,200
Speaker 1: This has made me slow down a lot, you know,

1867
01:37:34,439 --> 01:37:37,439
Speaker 1: with my dad recently. And I'm looking next year and

1868
01:37:37,479 --> 01:37:39,760
Speaker 1: I have films to do, but I've turned down a

1869
01:37:39,840 --> 01:37:41,280
Speaker 1: lot of things just so I can be here with

1870
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:43,519
Speaker 1: him more and because I know I'm not going to

1871
01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:45,519
Speaker 1: get ten years down the track and going glad I

1872
01:37:45,520 --> 01:37:47,360
Speaker 1: did those extra three or four films. I'm going to say,

1873
01:37:47,360 --> 01:37:49,080
Speaker 1: I wish I spent more time with him, and with

1874
01:37:49,240 --> 01:37:52,519
Speaker 1: my mum, you know, and with my brothers and my wife,

1875
01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:58,040
Speaker 1: my kids and family and friends. And because it's you know,

1876
01:37:58,760 --> 01:38:01,320
Speaker 1: he wake up and years as come by, and it's

1877
01:38:01,439 --> 01:38:04,560
Speaker 1: like it's been fun, but a lot of it it

1878
01:38:04,600 --> 01:38:08,080
Speaker 1: feels like a sort of a blurred polaroid photograph, and

1879
01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:10,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, I just kind of remember that, you know.

1880
01:38:11,240 --> 01:38:13,840
Speaker 1: But I was sort of all consuming and so busy

1881
01:38:13,920 --> 01:38:18,320
Speaker 1: and such intensity and such high emotions and and such

1882
01:38:18,439 --> 01:38:22,320
Speaker 1: got a big risk, big reward payoffs, big big loss,

1883
01:38:22,400 --> 01:38:25,960
Speaker 1: you know, and that's fun, and there's this sort of

1884
01:38:26,840 --> 01:38:32,200
Speaker 1: excitement to that, but I found, I find sometimes there's

1885
01:38:32,320 --> 01:38:35,120
Speaker 1: just pure exhaustion as well, and I just would like

1886
01:38:35,200 --> 01:38:38,680
Speaker 1: to kind of reset a bit and recharge and have

1887
01:38:38,920 --> 01:38:41,320
Speaker 1: a greater amount of sort of stillness and not want

1888
01:38:41,400 --> 01:38:45,559
Speaker 1: so much from a situation, just kind of just be here.

1889
01:38:46,040 --> 01:38:49,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, is that way? Coming back here was so important

1890
01:38:49,640 --> 01:38:51,000
Speaker 2: instead of being in La as well?

1891
01:38:51,280 --> 01:38:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, definitely. And it was right when I had kids.

1892
01:38:54,880 --> 01:38:56,839
Speaker 1: We were in LA and we had a big, beautiful

1893
01:38:56,880 --> 01:39:00,760
Speaker 1: house there, but it just didn't feel like and it

1894
01:39:00,880 --> 01:39:02,800
Speaker 1: was chaotic and every time I leave the house or

1895
01:39:02,920 --> 01:39:04,760
Speaker 1: was reminded of work and reminded of what I was

1896
01:39:04,840 --> 01:39:07,880
Speaker 1: doing or what I wasn't doing, and and and that

1897
01:39:08,040 --> 01:39:11,760
Speaker 1: was documented by paparazzi and then plastered across sort of

1898
01:39:11,960 --> 01:39:15,040
Speaker 1: various huge outlets and so on, and it didn't it

1899
01:39:15,200 --> 01:39:20,559
Speaker 1: wasn't fulfilling on a sort of a personal soul level,

1900
01:39:20,600 --> 01:39:23,160
Speaker 1: you know. It didn't feel nourishing at all. And we

1901
01:39:23,320 --> 01:39:25,680
Speaker 1: came back here just for just for a holiday, but

1902
01:39:25,920 --> 01:39:28,680
Speaker 1: in a sort of a subtle attempt from me to

1903
01:39:29,000 --> 01:39:31,280
Speaker 1: sort of, you know, convince my wife to move here,

1904
01:39:31,840 --> 01:39:36,400
Speaker 1: and it was it wasn't it wasn't a hard and

1905
01:39:36,439 --> 01:39:38,240
Speaker 1: it wasn't a hard sell at all. She was instantly like,

1906
01:39:38,560 --> 01:39:40,000
Speaker 1: this will do. This is pretty special.

1907
01:39:40,200 --> 01:39:43,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. Is your dad's transition most hardest on your mom?

1908
01:39:43,479 --> 01:39:47,200
Speaker 1: Do you see? For sure? Yeah, that's the one that

1909
01:39:47,400 --> 01:39:59,920
Speaker 1: I has become really complicated because it's sort of, well,

1910
01:40:00,040 --> 01:40:02,760
Speaker 1: what's scary is she has the same two copies the

1911
01:40:02,840 --> 01:40:06,439
Speaker 1: hypoly for I think it is a high probability of

1912
01:40:06,479 --> 01:40:08,640
Speaker 1: women getting it as supposed to men, so she's in

1913
01:40:08,760 --> 01:40:14,040
Speaker 1: an even higher risk category. And the stress and the

1914
01:40:15,400 --> 01:40:22,040
Speaker 1: concern that she carries is incredibly dangerous, you know, and

1915
01:40:22,200 --> 01:40:26,320
Speaker 1: detrimental to her health. And so my brothers and I

1916
01:40:27,120 --> 01:40:29,840
Speaker 1: big attempt to sort of offload that as much as

1917
01:40:29,880 --> 01:40:35,840
Speaker 1: we can, and also watching you know, you don't want

1918
01:40:35,880 --> 01:40:40,880
Speaker 1: to be in a sort of romantic loving relationship and

1919
01:40:40,920 --> 01:40:42,360
Speaker 1: then one have to be a care I'm gone to

1920
01:40:42,360 --> 01:40:42,960
Speaker 1: have to be a patient.

1921
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:43,120
Speaker 2: You know.

1922
01:40:43,360 --> 01:40:48,240
Speaker 1: It's such a tragedy and I think at times that's

1923
01:40:48,320 --> 01:40:51,639
Speaker 1: where that's where the roles have been assigned, and these

1924
01:40:51,720 --> 01:40:56,360
Speaker 1: good days and bad days, But I think not being

1925
01:40:56,439 --> 01:40:58,000
Speaker 1: able to do the things that they used to do

1926
01:40:58,120 --> 01:41:01,240
Speaker 1: and not having the same connect in the same conversations

1927
01:41:01,280 --> 01:41:05,160
Speaker 1: that they used to have, and that there's a beautiful

1928
01:41:05,560 --> 01:41:09,880
Speaker 1: connection and love there, but there isn't the same depth

1929
01:41:10,000 --> 01:41:11,960
Speaker 1: to some of the conversations and the interactions they have

1930
01:41:12,120 --> 01:41:18,559
Speaker 1: now there isn't the same support. And you know, obviously

1931
01:41:18,720 --> 01:41:21,240
Speaker 1: no one's fault, just the sort of an inability and

1932
01:41:21,240 --> 01:41:24,759
Speaker 1: an incapacity to be there and provide that now because

1933
01:41:24,800 --> 01:41:28,080
Speaker 1: the memory isn't as you know, strong as it was,

1934
01:41:28,160 --> 01:41:33,120
Speaker 1: and it's the short term things are rapidly sort of declining.

1935
01:41:34,040 --> 01:41:41,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, we're sort of trying to implement a lot

1936
01:41:41,080 --> 01:41:43,720
Speaker 1: of things currently for her health and for his but

1937
01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:46,600
Speaker 1: also trying to allow there to be some autonomy in

1938
01:41:46,640 --> 01:41:48,839
Speaker 1: my mum's life as well and a bit of agency

1939
01:41:48,880 --> 01:41:50,960
Speaker 1: in her space so she doesn't have to feel like

1940
01:41:51,080 --> 01:41:53,320
Speaker 1: she is no the care.

1941
01:41:53,880 --> 01:41:56,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such a stranger and isn't it. It's like

1942
01:41:56,240 --> 01:41:58,760
Speaker 2: you're caring for the person who's actually on well yeah,

1943
01:41:58,880 --> 01:42:00,519
Speaker 2: and caring for the person who's caring for the person

1944
01:42:00,520 --> 01:42:01,120
Speaker 2: who's own well.

1945
01:42:01,240 --> 01:42:01,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1946
01:42:01,600 --> 01:42:03,040
Speaker 2: He's often gets forgotten sometimes.

1947
01:42:03,400 --> 01:42:05,760
Speaker 1: Peter Ta said it to me when my dad was

1948
01:42:05,800 --> 01:42:08,160
Speaker 1: first diagnosed. He said, how's your mom? I said, oh, yes,

1949
01:42:08,479 --> 01:42:11,560
Speaker 1: she's fine. She's the one i'd be concerned about, you know,

1950
01:42:11,680 --> 01:42:15,320
Speaker 1: because your dad. You know, we can slow the regression

1951
01:42:15,520 --> 01:42:21,040
Speaker 1: of Alzheimer's sometimes we're yet to sort of reverse it,

1952
01:42:21,439 --> 01:42:24,200
Speaker 1: you know, but once it starts, that's the path you're on.

1953
01:42:24,280 --> 01:42:27,360
Speaker 1: He said, your mom isn't there yet, isn't isn't you know,

1954
01:42:27,520 --> 01:42:30,240
Speaker 1: it doesn't have a sort of cognitive decline. But he goes,

1955
01:42:30,880 --> 01:42:33,800
Speaker 1: but this is the environment where it will it will

1956
01:42:33,840 --> 01:42:38,240
Speaker 1: promote or that is the stress and the sleepless nights,

1957
01:42:38,320 --> 01:42:43,320
Speaker 1: the increase in cortsole and that anxiety and concern. He said,

1958
01:42:43,520 --> 01:42:45,840
Speaker 1: all of those are like, that's the environment for her

1959
01:42:45,920 --> 01:42:48,120
Speaker 1: and now sort of be forced down that path. So

1960
01:42:48,200 --> 01:42:50,280
Speaker 1: he said, we've got to pay attention there. And that

1961
01:42:50,600 --> 01:42:52,600
Speaker 1: was a beautiful reminder from him, and he said it

1962
01:42:52,600 --> 01:42:54,400
Speaker 1: a number of times him in contact with him a

1963
01:42:54,439 --> 01:42:58,120
Speaker 1: lot and says, how's your mom doing? How's your mum doing? Yeah,

1964
01:42:58,200 --> 01:42:59,880
Speaker 1: she's definitely a big focus.

1965
01:43:00,400 --> 01:43:03,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Chris has been such a joy

1966
01:43:03,439 --> 01:43:06,840
Speaker 2: talking to you. Thank you you too, truly just just

1967
01:43:07,680 --> 01:43:11,240
Speaker 2: it's beautiful feeling let into someone's life and heart in

1968
01:43:11,320 --> 01:43:14,360
Speaker 2: this way. Because it just, you know, puts so much

1969
01:43:14,400 --> 01:43:16,160
Speaker 2: into perspective for all of us to hear you kind

1970
01:43:16,200 --> 01:43:19,360
Speaker 2: of be so vulnerable and so open. It can't be easy.

1971
01:43:19,479 --> 01:43:21,600
Speaker 2: And of course seeing the documentary, you just see how

1972
01:43:21,680 --> 01:43:24,120
Speaker 2: much you're letting everyone in. And we end every episode

1973
01:43:24,160 --> 01:43:26,479
Speaker 2: with the final five. These questions have to be answered

1974
01:43:26,479 --> 01:43:29,559
Speaker 2: in one sentence maximum. Often we go off piece because

1975
01:43:29,560 --> 01:43:33,519
Speaker 2: I get enthusiastic and excited, but Chris hems with these

1976
01:43:33,560 --> 01:43:36,360
Speaker 2: are your final five. We ask these to everyone on

1977
01:43:36,439 --> 01:43:38,200
Speaker 2: the show, or at least a few of these. So

1978
01:43:38,320 --> 01:43:42,240
Speaker 2: question number one, Chris, what's the best advice You've ever received?

1979
01:43:44,439 --> 01:43:50,760
Speaker 1: Best advice I've received? I remember being asked this when

1980
01:43:50,800 --> 01:43:53,479
Speaker 1: I was doing Home and Away, this sop from many

1981
01:43:53,560 --> 01:43:57,280
Speaker 1: years ago, and my answer was be kind. And I

1982
01:43:57,360 --> 01:44:00,439
Speaker 1: remember the journalist at the time mocking me and saying, oh,

1983
01:44:00,479 --> 01:44:02,439
Speaker 1: it's like something you read on It's Teddy Bear or whatever.

1984
01:44:03,439 --> 01:44:05,200
Speaker 1: But that advice that was given to me my my

1985
01:44:05,320 --> 01:44:09,280
Speaker 1: mum is just be kind to people, be compassionate. Has

1986
01:44:10,120 --> 01:44:13,120
Speaker 1: stayed true and been my north star through everything I've

1987
01:44:13,160 --> 01:44:18,240
Speaker 1: ever done, and in its simplicity is there's some profound

1988
01:44:18,280 --> 01:44:20,439
Speaker 1: wisdom to it, you know, be kind to yourself, be

1989
01:44:20,520 --> 01:44:24,560
Speaker 1: kind to others. It's about, as you know, if we

1990
01:44:24,640 --> 01:44:27,679
Speaker 1: embody just that one thing, I think we'll do Okay.

1991
01:44:28,360 --> 01:44:31,479
Speaker 2: I love that. Second question, what is the worst advice

1992
01:44:31,520 --> 01:44:32,519
Speaker 2: you've ever heard or received?

1993
01:44:33,840 --> 01:44:36,720
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just be what I was afraid of

1994
01:44:36,960 --> 01:44:42,920
Speaker 1: and what makes me nervous? This I love that, all

1995
01:44:42,960 --> 01:44:46,559
Speaker 1: those tricks I was trying to there's a good anxiety Christian.

1996
01:44:46,640 --> 01:44:47,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

1997
01:44:48,080 --> 01:44:52,360
Speaker 1: The worst advice I've had many occasions, just one more drink,

1998
01:44:53,280 --> 01:44:53,840
Speaker 1: one more beer.

1999
01:44:53,960 --> 01:44:54,720
Speaker 2: It doesn't work out.

2000
01:44:54,760 --> 01:44:57,160
Speaker 1: It doesn't work out, soways. The worst idea, the one

2001
01:44:57,240 --> 01:44:58,599
Speaker 1: more There was always the problem.

2002
01:44:59,560 --> 01:45:01,280
Speaker 2: It leads to overweight thought.

2003
01:45:01,960 --> 01:45:04,959
Speaker 1: It leads overweight thought, It leads the confused thought, skipful

2004
01:45:05,000 --> 01:45:06,519
Speaker 1: for catastrophic thought.

2005
01:45:08,120 --> 01:45:11,360
Speaker 2: I love it. Question number three, what do you believe

2006
01:45:11,439 --> 01:45:12,120
Speaker 2: makes a good dad?

2007
01:45:18,920 --> 01:45:22,800
Speaker 1: Someone who it truly embodies the things they're trying to

2008
01:45:24,760 --> 01:45:30,000
Speaker 1: bestow upon you. You know, someone who truly represents those

2009
01:45:30,680 --> 01:45:35,120
Speaker 1: virtues that they're trying to teach you, rather than you're

2010
01:45:35,160 --> 01:45:39,760
Speaker 1: talking about it. Their behavior represents that, and that's been

2011
01:45:40,120 --> 01:45:42,960
Speaker 1: has been my dad. You know, his actions spoke a

2012
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:45,920
Speaker 1: lot louder than his words, and he didn't necessarily speak

2013
01:45:45,960 --> 01:45:49,680
Speaker 1: in sort of poetic one liners that were memorable. It

2014
01:45:49,840 --> 01:45:52,519
Speaker 1: was his the way he walked into a room, and

2015
01:45:52,520 --> 01:45:55,000
Speaker 1: the way he treated people, the way he behaved and

2016
01:45:55,160 --> 01:45:58,479
Speaker 1: held himself and took care of people as compassionate that

2017
01:46:00,439 --> 01:46:02,080
Speaker 1: and he was true to his word and honest and

2018
01:46:02,160 --> 01:46:06,240
Speaker 1: still is and holds a beautiful amount of integrity and love.

2019
01:46:06,520 --> 01:46:12,759
Speaker 1: And yeah, someone who models their behavior honestly.

2020
01:46:14,040 --> 01:46:16,920
Speaker 2: Question Numberfore, what do you believe makes a good son.

2021
01:46:18,040 --> 01:46:21,000
Speaker 1: Being in not just a state of receivership but also

2022
01:46:21,640 --> 01:46:26,320
Speaker 1: giving back, you know? And I remember when my dad's

2023
01:46:26,400 --> 01:46:29,639
Speaker 1: father passed away. I was in LA and he called

2024
01:46:29,680 --> 01:46:33,760
Speaker 1: me and I said, oh, sorry about your dad, And

2025
01:46:33,840 --> 01:46:37,960
Speaker 1: I remember him getting choked up, and on the other

2026
01:46:38,040 --> 01:46:41,000
Speaker 1: end of the call kind of thinking, oh, wow, he's crying.

2027
01:46:41,040 --> 01:46:43,160
Speaker 1: I hadn't really seen him cry, I don't think ever,

2028
01:46:45,120 --> 01:46:49,000
Speaker 1: and very I was sort of listening and okay, how

2029
01:46:49,000 --> 01:46:50,640
Speaker 1: are you right? And then he started talking again and

2030
01:46:50,680 --> 01:46:53,960
Speaker 1: we changed the subjects and we went and afterwards, maybe

2031
01:46:53,960 --> 01:46:56,920
Speaker 1: a year later, I thought, God, I wasn't there for him,

2032
01:46:57,600 --> 01:47:01,519
Speaker 1: And then as time went on, realizing how important it

2033
01:47:01,800 --> 01:47:05,800
Speaker 1: was for me also to show give recognition and how

2034
01:47:05,800 --> 01:47:08,720
Speaker 1: important he was rather than just him taking care of

2035
01:47:08,840 --> 01:47:11,519
Speaker 1: me realizing I had a part to play. And so

2036
01:47:12,640 --> 01:47:16,519
Speaker 1: what makes a good son is also the recognition that

2037
01:47:16,640 --> 01:47:18,960
Speaker 1: you have a position and a place to hold in

2038
01:47:19,040 --> 01:47:21,840
Speaker 1: this relationship and it isn't just to be taken care of,

2039
01:47:21,960 --> 01:47:25,400
Speaker 1: it also to to share that responsibility and take care

2040
01:47:25,439 --> 01:47:27,960
Speaker 1: of one another. It's a convoluted answer.

2041
01:47:28,600 --> 01:47:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful, beautiful. I feel like we're living at

2042
01:47:31,360 --> 01:47:34,519
Speaker 2: a time where roles are so hard to understand and undefined.

2043
01:47:34,520 --> 01:47:36,320
Speaker 2: It it's so beautiful to just have like a north

2044
01:47:36,400 --> 01:47:39,320
Speaker 2: star of like as simple as it is to have like, yeah,

2045
01:47:39,360 --> 01:47:41,400
Speaker 2: your dad's a good dad, someone is true to his

2046
01:47:41,520 --> 01:47:44,880
Speaker 2: words and lives by example. That's a beautiful, simple thing

2047
01:47:44,960 --> 01:47:47,839
Speaker 2: that we can all try to aspire to live towards,

2048
01:47:47,880 --> 01:47:51,040
Speaker 2: as opposed to, you know, complex ideas.

2049
01:47:51,120 --> 01:47:55,640
Speaker 1: I remember have a friend of mine's dad who who

2050
01:47:55,960 --> 01:48:02,160
Speaker 1: was very well read, and you know, we quote various

2051
01:48:03,080 --> 01:48:08,599
Speaker 1: philosophy and psychologists and things, and it was like, oh, wow,

2052
01:48:08,680 --> 01:48:10,920
Speaker 1: that's a really interesting that's a great thing, and I

2053
01:48:10,960 --> 01:48:13,120
Speaker 1: would take them, but he didn't embody any of it.

2054
01:48:13,479 --> 01:48:15,200
Speaker 1: You know, as the years went on, I was like, oh,

2055
01:48:15,320 --> 01:48:18,600
Speaker 1: that's it's all talk, you know, it's not action, and

2056
01:48:20,479 --> 01:48:23,559
Speaker 1: just yeah, right, So what I was saying before. It's

2057
01:48:25,240 --> 01:48:27,160
Speaker 1: you know, it's one thing to sort of be able

2058
01:48:27,200 --> 01:48:29,720
Speaker 1: to spout off wisdom and quotes and so on, but

2059
01:48:29,800 --> 01:48:32,080
Speaker 1: it's like, do you truly when push comes to shove,

2060
01:48:32,240 --> 01:48:35,800
Speaker 1: is that what you're representing or not? I'm trying to

2061
01:48:35,840 --> 01:48:36,599
Speaker 1: avoid the next question.

2062
01:48:38,280 --> 01:48:40,200
Speaker 2: We're on question Oh, we did question for We're on

2063
01:48:40,280 --> 01:48:40,720
Speaker 2: question five.

2064
01:48:40,760 --> 01:48:41,040
Speaker 1: This is it.

2065
01:48:41,439 --> 01:48:42,720
Speaker 2: This is the one that I told you about right

2066
01:48:42,720 --> 01:48:44,200
Speaker 2: at the top of the show, that you've been thinking

2067
01:48:44,240 --> 01:48:47,640
Speaker 2: about the whole time. So, Chris, the fifth question that

2068
01:48:47,720 --> 01:48:49,320
Speaker 2: we asked every guest who's ever been on the show.

2069
01:48:49,800 --> 01:48:51,600
Speaker 2: And by the way, everyone knows this question, and no

2070
01:48:51,640 --> 01:48:53,840
Speaker 2: one ever prefess for it, So don't want fifth and

2071
01:48:53,920 --> 01:48:56,559
Speaker 2: final question. If you could create one law that everyone

2072
01:48:56,560 --> 01:48:58,280
Speaker 2: in the world had to follow, what would it be.

2073
01:48:59,080 --> 01:49:02,639
Speaker 1: To have a a three day work week or four

2074
01:49:02,720 --> 01:49:08,280
Speaker 1: day maybe to work less? You know, and I think

2075
01:49:08,360 --> 01:49:11,640
Speaker 1: we would have We think we would work harder and

2076
01:49:11,720 --> 01:49:14,719
Speaker 1: more efficiently when we do, and their entire life wouldn't

2077
01:49:14,720 --> 01:49:19,040
Speaker 1: be around productivity and work work, work, work work. It

2078
01:49:19,040 --> 01:49:23,519
Speaker 1: would be about hopefully more enjoyable experiences, you know, Yeah,

2079
01:49:24,080 --> 01:49:26,719
Speaker 1: I mean, And the weekends are the weekends and beautiful

2080
01:49:26,760 --> 01:49:32,800
Speaker 1: and needed and wanted and waited for with such anticipation

2081
01:49:32,960 --> 01:49:36,320
Speaker 1: because we've worked, Yes, but I think a day or

2082
01:49:36,360 --> 01:49:38,560
Speaker 1: two less week universally beneficial.

2083
01:49:38,760 --> 01:49:40,920
Speaker 2: I have no idea how humans signed up to a

2084
01:49:41,000 --> 01:49:43,880
Speaker 2: five day work week. Can you imagine when that got instated,

2085
01:49:43,960 --> 01:49:45,960
Speaker 2: how everyone just goes, yeah, we're going to I don't

2086
01:49:45,960 --> 01:49:47,920
Speaker 2: know how we did it, Like I don't know how

2087
01:49:48,000 --> 01:49:50,599
Speaker 2: we ever agreed going, yeah, we're all going to work

2088
01:49:50,640 --> 01:49:52,720
Speaker 2: five days a week and in some cases six in

2089
01:49:52,800 --> 01:49:55,280
Speaker 2: some places across the world, like six seven days people

2090
01:49:55,320 --> 01:49:57,280
Speaker 2: are working and maybe church on Sundays.

2091
01:49:57,320 --> 01:50:00,519
Speaker 1: Mental fatigue and the physical fatigue, and now it's phones

2092
01:50:00,560 --> 01:50:01,840
Speaker 1: and all the otherwise we were sort.

2093
01:50:01,720 --> 01:50:03,880
Speaker 2: Of you know, now it's twenty four hours, right, there

2094
01:50:04,000 --> 01:50:04,200
Speaker 2: is no.

2095
01:50:04,360 --> 01:50:06,839
Speaker 1: There is no switching off down brutal.

2096
01:50:07,080 --> 01:50:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a good look.

2097
01:50:09,120 --> 01:50:10,720
Speaker 1: I hope you get rid of phones.

2098
01:50:10,680 --> 01:50:12,840
Speaker 2: Maybe one day when you're when you're Prime minister, or

2099
01:50:13,000 --> 01:50:19,360
Speaker 2: you stay before they work with Australia. Then you can

2100
01:50:19,400 --> 01:50:19,960
Speaker 2: figure out.

2101
01:50:19,880 --> 01:50:20,479
Speaker 1: You know, how it goes.

2102
01:50:20,560 --> 01:50:24,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's know, test it. Yeah yeah, Chris, it's

2103
01:50:24,280 --> 01:50:26,439
Speaker 2: been such a joy on to talk to you. Thank you,

2104
01:50:27,160 --> 01:50:29,719
Speaker 2: really wonderful getting to know you on such a deep level.

2105
01:50:29,800 --> 01:50:33,120
Speaker 2: Thank you for being so open, vulnerable, and so grateful

2106
01:50:33,200 --> 01:50:34,880
Speaker 2: that you're sharing you on your dad's journey and your

2107
01:50:34,880 --> 01:50:35,840
Speaker 2: family's journey with us.

2108
01:50:36,040 --> 01:50:38,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate your Tom Man. Thank you very much to

2109
01:50:38,160 --> 01:50:38,400
Speaker 1: watch it.

2110
01:50:38,520 --> 01:50:40,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was definitely worth coming twenty four hours.

2111
01:50:41,000 --> 01:50:43,400
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you

2112
01:50:43,560 --> 01:50:43,880
Speaker 1: very much.

2113
01:50:44,120 --> 01:50:46,320
Speaker 2: Appreciate it. Awesome man, Thank you so much.

2114
01:50:46,360 --> 01:50:46,840
Speaker 1: Such ak.

2115
01:50:47,120 --> 01:50:49,719
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, I need you to listen

2116
01:50:49,880 --> 01:50:52,840
Speaker 2: to one of my favorite conversations ever. It's with the

2117
01:50:52,960 --> 01:50:56,200
Speaker 2: one and only Tom Holland on how to overcome your

2118
01:50:56,280 --> 01:51:00,880
Speaker 2: social anxiety, especially in situations where you're not drinking and

2119
01:51:01,080 --> 01:51:04,560
Speaker 2: everyone else is. We talk about his sobriety journey and

2120
01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:07,960
Speaker 2: so much more. He gets really personal. I can't wait

2121
01:51:08,000 --> 01:51:09,920
Speaker 2: for you to hear it. It's going to blow your mind.

2122
01:51:10,280 --> 01:51:12,360
Speaker 2: The quote is, if you have a problem with me,

2123
01:51:12,560 --> 01:51:14,519
Speaker 2: text me, And if you don't have my number, you

2124
01:51:14,640 --> 01:51:16,479
Speaker 2: don't know me well enough to have a problem with me.