Speaker 1: Well, motherfucking many year sold, motherfucking many episode. Yep, yep,
Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another phenomenal Many episode, motherfucking many episode of My
Speaker 1: Mama Told Me, the podcast where we died Deep Deep,
Speaker 1: so deep put your asked to sleep into the pockets
Speaker 1: of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove
Speaker 1: the conspiracies that you, the listeners have at home. I
Speaker 1: am not in my home. I am in a hotel.
Speaker 1: It's Chicago that charges me twelve dollars for the WiFi
Speaker 1: every single day. I'll never forgive these motherfucker's. Do I
Speaker 1: have a conspiracy about that? Nope, it's just capitalism at work.
Speaker 1: You pieces of ship. Wife. I should be free like
Speaker 1: water and uh in toilet paper and tampons. There's a
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff that should be free. And I don't
Speaker 1: have a funny list here. I'm just irritated at the
Speaker 1: fact that I need to pay somebody for some ship
Speaker 1: that I could go get at a Starbucks, and frankly,
Speaker 1: I desperately need in order to talk to you, the listeners.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be here despite my anger about
Speaker 1: the WiFi because I have some fun ship to unpack today.
Speaker 1: Usually I really try to take on a brand new
Speaker 1: subject every time, but occasionally people bring me responses to
Speaker 1: some of the episodes that we've recorded. They send me
Speaker 1: new ideas, they send me new complaints, they send me nasty,
Speaker 1: long letters about how they wanna do terrible things to
Speaker 1: my body. That has nothing to do with the episodes.
Speaker 1: It's just things that people email a very public uh
Speaker 1: email space. I don't know why they would presume I'm
Speaker 1: the only person reading it, but they're absolutely have been
Speaker 1: some some slutty responses to these podcasts. What about black
Speaker 1: people suffering and and being scammed out of their money
Speaker 1: and their comfort makes you horny? I'll never know, but
Speaker 1: I'm grateful. I gotta be honest, I'm grateful. If you're horny,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful. That's that's just who I am. I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna have sex with you. I'm I'm obligated to a
Speaker 1: very nice lady. But I'm grateful that you want a
Speaker 1: part of my penis. And I hope that comes across
Speaker 1: in every episode. No hope every episode you listen to,
Speaker 1: you go, you know this guy is he's he's skeptical,
Speaker 1: he's questioning, and most importantly, he wants me to have
Speaker 1: some of that dick. He's grateful for it. And and
Speaker 1: you know what it means the world to me that
Speaker 1: you would even think that my dick matters. I don't
Speaker 1: think all dicks matter. I think some dicks probably don't matter.
Speaker 1: That's the stance that I'm willing to take. And I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to have a dick that matters. But that's neither
Speaker 1: here nor there, because we have a conspiracy to dig
Speaker 1: back into. This comes to us from a lady named Sarah.
Speaker 1: Sarah sent me a message and I'm going to play
Speaker 1: it for you now, High lank Ston. Uh, this is Sarah.
Speaker 1: I just finished listening to your minisode about if dogs
Speaker 1: are Racist, and you bring up black dog syndrome, which
Speaker 1: is about how black dogs are adopted less or purchase
Speaker 1: less whatever in the dog owning world. And what I
Speaker 1: have heard about that is a big reason that that
Speaker 1: happens with rescues and everything, is that black dogs don't
Speaker 1: photograph well. You can't see the details in their cute
Speaker 1: little doggie faces. And the reason for that is because
Speaker 1: that photography has always been racist. The way that photographers
Speaker 1: have to accommodate for skin tones and stuff. It isn't
Speaker 1: really supported by the film or the digital hammers that
Speaker 1: we use, although it's getting somewhat better at this point,
Speaker 1: but um, just another layer of conspiracy on top of
Speaker 1: the original conspiracy. Well, Sarah, first of all, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for making that conspiracy a little bit sadder.
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming in with a little extra pizzas
Speaker 1: of sadness to add to the conspiracy that already made
Speaker 1: a bunch of people feel not great. We love you
Speaker 1: dearly for sending this. Sarah. First, let's just unpack a
Speaker 1: few things that are troubling in your observation. Number one, Basically,
Speaker 1: what you're suggesting is a bunch of people are adopting
Speaker 1: dogs and being like, well, I want a slave, but
Speaker 1: I don't want a slave I can't take pictures with.
Speaker 1: I don't want a slave that doesn't photograph. Well, I
Speaker 1: need a slave that looks miserable when they take a
Speaker 1: picture next to me, and it's a sharp, precise photo
Speaker 1: of them looking sad, not just a slave that disappears
Speaker 1: into the background. And furthermore, we gotta get back to
Speaker 1: putting makeup on dogs. Do you know what I mean, Sarah.
Speaker 1: If you got a black dog and that dog ain't
Speaker 1: showing up on camera, contour their doggy faced. Put that dog,
Speaker 1: give that doggie some some edge, give them a few
Speaker 1: white lines so that they stand out on camera. We
Speaker 1: can't let these slave dogs go un photographed. Furthermore, here's
Speaker 1: my biggest issue with it. And obviously I'm joking about
Speaker 1: contouring the doggy faces. I don't need any of you
Speaker 1: writing letters about how I secretly support Laurel and Estate
Speaker 1: Lauder and all these other makeup companies who I know
Speaker 1: experiment on animals, despite the fact that they tell me otherwise.
Speaker 1: There's no way you can convince me that you don't
Speaker 1: occasionally pick up a monkey just to try out some
Speaker 1: chemicals real quick. But that's neither here nor there. Also,
Speaker 1: you can't sue me. I called no sue rules right
Speaker 1: before the podcast started. You didn't hear it, but I
Speaker 1: said no sue me. And and if I say that legally,
Speaker 1: I'm safe anyway, Sarah. One of the more troubling parts
Speaker 1: of this is that just the entire culture of photo
Speaker 1: graphing animals in the first place. Let's move on from
Speaker 1: photographing animals It's just another way for the government to
Speaker 1: be tracking you. The n s A is using your
Speaker 1: dog pictures to figure out where you are. What you're doing.
Speaker 1: You're taking your dog to some park and thinking you're
Speaker 1: taking a charming photo of old whiskers. I don't know
Speaker 1: why you called your dog Whiskers. You're a weird motherfucker,
Speaker 1: but you named your dog Whiskers, and you took a
Speaker 1: picture of him in the park. And then some governor's
Speaker 1: daughter turns up face down in the in the pond
Speaker 1: in that park with a syringe in her arm. And
Speaker 1: now suddenly you're a suspect. You're a whisker snitched on you,
Speaker 1: and you were a accomplice in the crime. This is
Speaker 1: just another way for us to be tracked, to be
Speaker 1: falsely accused. I don't support it. Stop taking pictures of
Speaker 1: your dog rubbed their bellies. They don't give a funk
Speaker 1: about Instagram. That is what I say to you, Sarah.
Speaker 1: I hope that that is I don't imagine it could
Speaker 1: have possibly have been helpful, but I do think it
Speaker 1: was at least accurate, with zero details uh that need
Speaker 1: to be questioned or corrected. I think I nailed it
Speaker 1: a hundred percent absolutely didn't miss a thing. Now, another
Speaker 1: fun thing that tends to happen on this podcast is
Speaker 1: that a lot of people send me ship that is
Speaker 1: almost too insane to even look up. People send me
Speaker 1: conspiracies that are so insane that they truly don't even
Speaker 1: show up on Google searches. There's no way for me
Speaker 1: to find real information about these things. And what I
Speaker 1: would like to do is read you an example of
Speaker 1: one of those today. It's a fun one from a
Speaker 1: person named Nikolai. Nikolai sent me a message that had
Speaker 1: a lot of very glowing compliments and also some suggestions
Speaker 1: about some books that I can read. This motherfucker don't
Speaker 1: get me at all. I ain't reading ship, but I
Speaker 1: told him I would. I like to pander to my
Speaker 1: in so I don't want to hold Nikolai to think
Speaker 1: that I'm a complete piece of ship. If I'm being honest, Nikolai,
Speaker 1: I'm not buying these books. The point is at the
Speaker 1: end of that message, one of the things that Nikolai
Speaker 1: says is that he thinks that Sammy Davis Junior's glass
Speaker 1: I was actually a piece of Israeli spywear. That's right.
Speaker 1: He believes that the glass eye that sits in Sammy
Speaker 1: Davis Juniors, formerly a live face, was actually implanted by
Speaker 1: Israel as some version of spying on I guess America,
Speaker 1: I guess popular music in the nineteen sixties and seventies.
Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure exactly why he thinks Israel is spying,
Speaker 1: but he says that that is true. Now, I want
Speaker 1: to be clear. First of all, let's unpack a little
Speaker 1: bit about Sammy Davis Junior. Sammy Davis Junior is arguably
Speaker 1: the greatest disabled performer of all time. I I think it.
Speaker 1: It goes maybe without question, the only person closes the
Speaker 1: glover because that motherfucker has been fifty five for seventy
Speaker 1: four years now. I don't know how he does it.
Speaker 1: It is it's some version of Benjamin Button disease. But
Speaker 1: it ain't Benjamin Button. It's more like Bradley Button, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Just like a offshoot cousin of
Speaker 1: of Benjamin Button, where you don't grow younger, you just
Speaker 1: stay the age of a very tired man for the
Speaker 1: remainder the whole of your life. Truly, the point is
Speaker 1: Sammy Davis Jr. This man was a brilliant performer, a
Speaker 1: singer and actor, a dancer, uh some call a coon.
Speaker 1: I don't know he did it all. But Sammy Davis
Speaker 1: Junior lost his eye. And this is something I didn't realize.
Speaker 1: Sammy Davis Junior lost his eye in a car crash
Speaker 1: in fifty four, a near deadly carc crash, when his
Speaker 1: face hit a button on the steering wheel, a bullet
Speaker 1: shaped button on the steering wheel of his Cadillac, because
Speaker 1: back then Cadillacs and ninety four Cadillacs had a signature
Speaker 1: steering wheel where literally there was a metal like protrusion
Speaker 1: in the middle of the steering wheel. I guess for
Speaker 1: impaling people. I'm not really sure what the function was
Speaker 1: meant to be. Truly, how insane is it that we
Speaker 1: think we're like this advanced society and literally, fifty seventy
Speaker 1: years ago we were creating vehicles with a fucking spear
Speaker 1: pointed at our hearts the entire time we drive. We're
Speaker 1: not advanced as a society. We're not good. People were
Speaker 1: fucking idiots, and every day we learn a little bit
Speaker 1: more of how stupid we are. That said, after the accident,
Speaker 1: Sammy was later fitted with a glass eye which he
Speaker 1: kept for the remainder of his life. Now, Sammy, as
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier, shortly after the accident, also converted to Judaism.
Speaker 1: He often cited that car crash as the thing that
Speaker 1: pushed him in his seeking out other forms of religion.
Speaker 1: He I guess felt like the Black Church and Catholicism.
Speaker 1: I think he grew up Catholic at one point wasn't
Speaker 1: answering the questions that he needed, and therefore he turned
Speaker 1: to Judaism and felt like Judaism offered some solutions that
Speaker 1: I guess these other religions didn't. Now, Sammy does have
Speaker 1: a history of aligning himself with the white devil. Many
Speaker 1: of you are familiar with the fact that he was
Speaker 1: a member of the rat Pack, a group of all
Speaker 1: white men, mostly alcoholics and singers to gang bangers. But
Speaker 1: they made some hits, They made some goddamn classics, and
Speaker 1: I really like that Frank Sinatra and that Dean Martin,
Speaker 1: those guys at at all. Uh. He also hung out
Speaker 1: with Elvis, known steeler of black culture. He maintained multiple
Speaker 1: very public relationships and even married white women, and most importantly,
Speaker 1: he supported known racist president Richard Nixon, much to the
Speaker 1: chagrin of the Black munity at the time. I think
Speaker 1: it's more than fair that instead of looking at this
Speaker 1: in terms of some sort of Israeli spyware, based off
Speaker 1: of this information, that it's more likely that that glass
Speaker 1: eye was in fact a Caucasian infiltration system. That's right,
Speaker 1: I believe, and this is my theory, So fuck your theory,
Speaker 1: Nikolai Papa's stepping in. He's taken over. I believe that
Speaker 1: white people knew that Sammy Davis Jr. Would find his
Speaker 1: way back into Black lives. That Black people are very
Speaker 1: forgiving of our celebrities. Look at Greasy, look at Tory Lanes,
Speaker 1: look at uh who's another one? If Isaiah Washington ever
Speaker 1: gets this ship together, we'll probably forgive him. Who knows.
Speaker 1: The point is, Black people are always forgiving our celebrities
Speaker 1: for the dumb ship that they do. And with that,
Speaker 1: white people knew that Sammy Davis Jr. Would find his
Speaker 1: way back, and so they put a spy system in
Speaker 1: that eyeball so that he could pick apart all of
Speaker 1: our our progress and our secrets. Sammy Davis Jr. This
Speaker 1: is something that many people don't know actually participated in
Speaker 1: the nineteen sixty three March on Washington alongside Dr King.
Speaker 1: What a perfect opportunity if you ask me for the
Speaker 1: c i A or the FBI or that bitch flow
Speaker 1: from progressive to try and infiltrate and destroy what little
Speaker 1: power we as black people have been building this entire time.
Speaker 1: Sammy Davis Jr. Did did He didn't have to work
Speaker 1: for Israel. In fact, a lot of Jewish people of
Speaker 1: America don't even support Israel. We're in the middle of
Speaker 1: a very tense time in this country and need to
Speaker 1: be clear about that. My dad is Jewish. You don't
Speaker 1: support Israel. He fluxed with good filth fish and that's it.
Speaker 1: That motherfucker is disinterested in the rest of all their shenanigans.
Speaker 1: But the point is, Sammy Davis Junior didn't have to
Speaker 1: align himself with Israel. He already had the white man
Speaker 1: on his belt buckle, he had the white man in
Speaker 1: his eyeball, and because of that, he became a weapon,
Speaker 1: a goddamn super spy, a robot for the Nixon administration,
Speaker 1: and I assume many administrations to follow. So Nikolai, I
Speaker 1: hope you learned your lesson. I hope you go out
Speaker 1: into the world from this point on, and you say, damn,
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot and length sense. Right, He's brilliant.
Speaker 1: He really picked it all apart anyway, all right, I
Speaker 1: rambled for quite a bit, and most of this felt
Speaker 1: like nonsense. But I bet you'll enjoy some of it.
Speaker 1: Not all of it, that's almost certain, not all of it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I bet you enjoyed some of it. And
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed any of it, which I take full
Speaker 1: credit for, if you enjoyed any of it, you owe
Speaker 1: me money. But the point is, if you enjoyed any
Speaker 1: of it, I would love for you to send me
Speaker 1: more conspiracies, more of your thoughts and feelings and dumb
Speaker 1: ship that you come up with, like Nikolai and like Sarah,
Speaker 1: send it to my mama pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: I would love to hear from you and berade you
Speaker 1: in front of I assume fifteen less nurse every week.
Speaker 1: That's about where I imagine we land in terms of
Speaker 1: the numbers. But yeah, okay, sending that stuff by bitch,
Speaker 1: motherfucking Minia. So many episodes, motherfucking Mini, ever so motherfucking Mini,
Speaker 1: ever so many episodes, motherfucking Mini episod