Speaker 1: Did you ever like a black swan I have to
Speaker 1: rip your own toenails off? No, thank god, you've never
Speaker 1: done that.
Speaker 2: No, but they have fallen off while on point. I
Speaker 2: heard it.
Speaker 1: Crack mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Cosh shaw, cosh shush show show.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Hodown. I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. Let's
Speaker 1: get it going. If you think your sister fine, grabber,
Speaker 1: wear the Sundo Giant.
Speaker 3: If you figure because it's sweet, then you can you
Speaker 3: lit your feet.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's good to be back ed. How are you.
Speaker 2: I'm good?
Speaker 1: How are you good? Man? I'm doing great. Before I
Speaker 1: start the show, Eddie, I want to say congratulations to
Speaker 1: the Michigan Wolverines for kicking the dog shit out of
Speaker 1: the national champion Ohio State buck Eyes.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's got to feel good, right, You win the national
Speaker 1: championship and then Michigan has to be like, yeah, well
Speaker 1: we beat you badly. Who do you hear that we
Speaker 1: were an answer on Jeopardy?
Speaker 2: I did hear this?
Speaker 1: No, man, it was a a just ask Spindly comedian
Speaker 1: Daniel A load of I guess it was a load
Speaker 1: of Tosh. By the way, Spindley, that's not a compliment.
Speaker 1: But you're allowed to You're allowed to throw those adjectives
Speaker 1: around when it's a thin person. You think you think
Speaker 1: had I been tipping the scales the other direction, they
Speaker 1: would have been like, just ask this fat fuck portly.
Speaker 1: That would have been better than Yeah, they probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: have put fat fox. They probably would have went portly,
Speaker 1: but you get it inappropriate. Nah whatever. You know, we're
Speaker 1: in trying times here in so Cal. I'm gonna start
Speaker 1: saying so Cal at all times. Yeah, everybody's getting back
Speaker 1: to their new normal. You know, every time I leave
Speaker 1: to go somewhere, whether it's a store or work, I
Speaker 1: always I always sneak out of the house. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't say goodbye, slipping out. Well you say goodbye.
Speaker 1: People always say what if? What if that was the
Speaker 1: last time you saw your family? And that's that would
Speaker 1: make me want to give a more genuine goodbye. But
Speaker 1: the reality is if I actually say goodbye to my children,
Speaker 1: then for the next fifteen to thirty minutes, they're whining, crying,
Speaker 1: holding on to me, trying don't leave, blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and it's like I can't get anything done. So what
Speaker 1: do I do? Instead of saying goodbye to my loved ones.
Speaker 1: I always just quietly disappears how I leave my house
Speaker 1: every day. It's just not worth it any other way.
Speaker 1: By the way, let me speaking of my family. You know,
Speaker 1: I have conversations with my son every day, and you
Speaker 1: know he he's getting older and his vocabulary is getting better.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, the other side of the family,
Speaker 1: my in laws, they can't wrap their head around the
Speaker 1: fact that I'm talking to him, Like like my father
Speaker 1: in law. I'll ask my son like, uh, oh, what
Speaker 1: are you watching? And then my father in law time me, oh,
Speaker 1: we're watching, you know, this Seabeast movie. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm not talking to you. The other day he like
Speaker 1: they had his lego toy and uh it was like
Speaker 1: a little Formula one car, and I said to myself,
Speaker 1: I go, where does the driver sit? And immediately Greg,
Speaker 1: my father in law, goes, oh, they sit right there.
Speaker 1: And I just looked at him like, what you don't
Speaker 1: think I fucking you don't think I don't know where
Speaker 1: the driver sits in the car. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: have a conversation with a five year old. They just
Speaker 1: get so excited that they know the answer to something.
Speaker 1: They just immediately chime in, do what you do today, buddy,
Speaker 1: we went to the park. Okay, you went to the park, thanks,
Speaker 1: seventy year old. You gotta start to say your son's
Speaker 1: name before you ask the questions. Maybe, okay, Eddie, you're right.
Speaker 1: So when I start teasing them about constantly answering the
Speaker 1: questions that were meant for a child, he says, my
Speaker 1: son says to me, well, Dad, you should say my
Speaker 1: name first. That way they know not to answer. He's like,
Speaker 1: he's already got it. So that's what I'm gonna do. Unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I wish I could trade in
Speaker 1: laws with today's guest. They're good people, but you guys
Speaker 1: are in for a treat today because today's guest this
Speaker 1: is a world that I've always been fascinated by to
Speaker 1: a creepy level. Enjoy Casha, my guest today, is more
Speaker 1: flexible and there's better balance than anyone we've ever had
Speaker 1: on the show. If you love singing and dancing in
Speaker 1: production so long there is an intermission, then you will
Speaker 1: love her jazz hands. Everybody as we welcome to the
Speaker 1: show actor, singer, dancer, but first and foremost Hey, Ballerina Rihanna. Hello,
Speaker 1: did you like that intro?
Speaker 2: I loved it? Thank you.
Speaker 1: How'd you sleep last night?
Speaker 2: I slept so well?
Speaker 1: You serious?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: She slept in the airstream, guys, luxury. Your last name
Speaker 1: a Bruiso. That's Italian, right, Yes? You grew up in
Speaker 1: New York, I did. Did you say I'm walking here?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: You never screamed I'm walking here. My son says it now.
Speaker 1: It makes me laugh. That's amazing, I'm walking here.
Speaker 2: But I do have a good New York accent?
Speaker 1: You do? And do you only turn it on just
Speaker 1: whenever you're there?
Speaker 2: Whenever I want?
Speaker 1: That's so bad. It really is a horrible accent.
Speaker 2: Terrible.
Speaker 1: I used to think at school accent your dad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'll get in your father later, find it well.
Speaker 1: I've always found him fascinating. You know. It was a
Speaker 1: man that you know it was it was it all stocks?
Speaker 1: Is that all? Yeah? And just insider trading. Tons and
Speaker 1: tons of illegal stuff went on? I hope not no, no,
Speaker 1: but he like just figured the market out. He was
Speaker 1: a mathematician. I don't think I knew that he has.
Speaker 2: A brilliant math mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what he guys, if you want to hate
Speaker 1: your life, Like just made a ton, got to forty
Speaker 1: and said I'm done. I'm not gonna work ever again.
Speaker 2: Retired at forty two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'm forty nine. I'm still working, as you
Speaker 1: can tell. But who has more money? Me or your father?
Speaker 2: You do?
Speaker 1: I are you sure?
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure?
Speaker 1: Oh? Thank god, I can quit. Do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: No, you don't?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: Do you really? Yeah? God? Your ding bet? Do you
Speaker 1: have proof?
Speaker 2: I just believe they're real? Okay, yeah, but why why
Speaker 2: wouldn't they be real?
Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't think it's It's on you to
Speaker 1: prove that they are real, not me, to prove that
Speaker 1: something that doesn't.
Speaker 2: Exist does energy cannot be destroyed once it's created.
Speaker 1: I like, this cannot be destroyed? That is that is
Speaker 1: a load of tosh if I've ever heard it? Right there?
Speaker 1: You know the joke I used to always pretend, way
Speaker 1: before I was ever married, way before I even was
Speaker 1: dating my wife, that I would tell people that I
Speaker 1: had a ballerina wife. That was my joke. I have
Speaker 1: always had a fascination with ballet. Okay, okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know where it came from the thing is
Speaker 1: I've never been to the ballet. Is that weird too? Okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, I've never been to the ballet. I also
Speaker 1: think it's one of these things that if I go,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have like an emotional reaction, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna sob, like it's gonna affect me. But if it doesn't,
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna be like, well, that was fucking stupid.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have gone.
Speaker 2: I think you should go to Paris or Russia and
Speaker 2: see the ballet.
Speaker 1: There and not going to Russia, and then you will SOB.
Speaker 1: You're kidding me. I've already I've made jokes about Putin.
Speaker 1: There's no chance I ever get on a planet. Have
Speaker 1: you been to Russia? No, No, don't go to Russia.
Speaker 1: I'll go to a ballet in Paris. That's a great idea. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you like Paris?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: I do too. Yeah, I don't know. There's just some
Speaker 1: there's something so I think the mystique of ballet, so
Speaker 1: you know, it's sad and depressing and.
Speaker 2: Some little pain goes into it, and it's just.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't even know what. Yes, I guess
Speaker 1: maybe my perspective from watching movies and the portrayal of
Speaker 1: what you guys go through that I just I'm fascinated
Speaker 1: by it. Thanks, just so I'm aware. Are the Nutcracker
Speaker 1: and Swan Lake the only ballets? No, I've never heard
Speaker 1: of any others. You heard of any others?
Speaker 2: My favorite is Seranad Serenad. Yeah, you have to see it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see. Have you seen Sarahad Eddie?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I never heard of it. Okay, how does ballet work? Like?
Speaker 1: How do I know what's going on? Is there dialogue?
Speaker 2: No dialogue? But there's pantomime.
Speaker 1: Are you good at that?
Speaker 2: It's not like a set language that you can be
Speaker 2: good at.
Speaker 1: Well do they teach you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's choreography that you learn.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 2: But every pantomime and every different ballet is different.
Speaker 1: Are you amazing at charades? Pretty good? I mean you
Speaker 1: sing too? Have you sang your whole life? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I have? Actually?
Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah, like because you can sing some of these
Speaker 1: answers if you'd like, Just so I get like a
Speaker 1: sampling of how musical theater works. Okay, when did you
Speaker 1: start ballet?
Speaker 2: When I was three? But I hated it?
Speaker 1: You hated it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? My teacher is really mean, very strict.
Speaker 1: Why would you have a mean teacher at three? It
Speaker 1: seems so counterproductive to the sport Russian. Did your mother
Speaker 1: let you quit or did she force you to continue?
Speaker 2: I had to finish out the year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird how parents have that. My wife tried
Speaker 1: to do that with my son because he wanted to
Speaker 1: playing t ball and he's like, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: want to play. I just want to get the trophy.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, buddy, I say we quit and we
Speaker 1: show up for the last game and we get the trophy.
Speaker 1: I had no issue with his plan. And then I
Speaker 1: was scolded for bad parenting. So your mother made you
Speaker 1: finish out the year? And then when did you get
Speaker 1: back into it?
Speaker 2: When I was nine?
Speaker 1: Oh? Is that late? Is it actually eight? Is that late?
Speaker 2: No, it's not late.
Speaker 1: But I've taken seriously big gap.
Speaker 2: And my sister actually went to the School of American Ballet.
Speaker 1: Was she a good dancer? But you were so much
Speaker 1: better than your right? Were you immediately better than her?
Speaker 1: She's fine, she's got a great sense of humor.
Speaker 2: Well, she stopped after two years.
Speaker 1: Because because the writing was on the wall that she
Speaker 1: was cumbersome, she.
Speaker 2: Just she pursued figure skating. Actually, oh that's right, which
Speaker 2: I can't do.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, you went to a fancy high school. Your
Speaker 1: mother ripped you, ripped you from regular school and said
Speaker 1: you are going to go to this fancy school in
Speaker 1: New York City. But what were the wanted to go there? Oh?
Speaker 1: Of course you did. It probably cost a fortune, probably,
Speaker 1: and you didn't have to take any tests and you
Speaker 1: could miss school constantly. We had to take tests you did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you know simple mass?
Speaker 2: Barely?
Speaker 1: What's seven times seven forty nine? Is it? Yeah? Yep?
Speaker 2: What's the square root of one hundred and forty four?
Speaker 1: Uh, let's see nine twelve? Oh and far off? By
Speaker 1: the way, how was this high school? Bullshit?
Speaker 2: It was great. It was actually like the only way
Speaker 2: I could go get a real education while training for ballet.
Speaker 1: How horrible is training for ballet?
Speaker 2: It's really intense?
Speaker 1: How many hours a day? As like, when you're in
Speaker 1: your your what are you? Is this okay? To say
Speaker 1: are you past your peak.
Speaker 2: For ballet? I would say I'm past my okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to insult you, like you know.
Speaker 2: I'm also not trying to be a prima valeria right now, right?
Speaker 1: Okay, So when you were in your peak, how much
Speaker 1: training is involved in hours a day?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So like your last few years of high school.
Speaker 2: You have class at ten thirty and then another one
Speaker 2: at two thirty, and then you have rehearsals in the
Speaker 2: afternoon and potentially a performance of some sort.
Speaker 1: Well, how many hours a day are you doing dance
Speaker 1: or related things?
Speaker 2: Three to five or six.
Speaker 1: Three to fives, three to five or six. It doesn't
Speaker 1: seem that hard, I mean, if you love it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to surf three to six hours a day
Speaker 1: when I was in high school. Nobody's nobody's freaking out
Speaker 1: over my work ethic. Yeah, no, I'm not impressed.
Speaker 2: But then when you're working, you're dancing.
Speaker 1: Seven days a week six Yeah. What's the average career
Speaker 1: length of a professional ballet dancer?
Speaker 2: From about eighteen to thirty five?
Speaker 1: Oh, it seems pretty good. I can't really complain. Why
Speaker 1: you guys always complaining How often did you have to
Speaker 1: buy shoes?
Speaker 2: Point? Shoes depends how much you dance, but a lot
Speaker 2: of dancers use one a week or one a show.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, what do they cost? A good pair of
Speaker 1: Points shoes one hundred and twenty five and they're not
Speaker 1: provided by the company.
Speaker 2: They're provided by the company.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what age do you start on point?
Speaker 2: At my school, we start at twelve, okay, and we
Speaker 2: do like one year of just like simple relevase at
Speaker 2: the bar, like a whole year just to gain ankle strength.
Speaker 1: Were you strong on point?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: By the way, are your feet all messed up like
Speaker 1: everyone this year?
Speaker 2: It's not that bad.
Speaker 1: You got a bad toe? I do like a grandpa
Speaker 1: kind of you know, it's like, oh, I got one toe?
Speaker 1: Is it because of ballet or just just a fungus
Speaker 1: that you haven't taken care of.
Speaker 2: No, it's not a fungus. It just I squeezed my
Speaker 2: feet into point shoes for so many years that one
Speaker 2: of them is just like stuck.
Speaker 1: Did you ever like a black swan I have to
Speaker 1: rip your own toenails off? No, thank god, you've never
Speaker 1: done that.
Speaker 2: No, but they have fallen off while on point. I
Speaker 2: heard it.
Speaker 1: Crack mm hmm, yeah, disgusting. I know. Do you never
Speaker 1: complain about high heels because of your life?
Speaker 2: I hate high heels?
Speaker 1: Oh you don't like high now? Are you good in them?
Speaker 2: Or no, Yeah, I'm good in them, but they're really
Speaker 2: uncomfortable on my toes because, like I said, my toe
Speaker 2: is jammed forever.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know, but is it jammed in the
Speaker 1: right way or the wrong way.
Speaker 2: For high end? Yeah, it's actually my foot is better
Speaker 2: on point than it is in a heel.
Speaker 1: You're kind of like a knuckle dragger toes.
Speaker 2: Well, your toa should be straight on point.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I thought you're like going like.
Speaker 2: This, Yeah, you know, like kind of more straight.
Speaker 1: You're just on top of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but your arch is so strongly it sticks out.
Speaker 1: How hard is it to stay in ballets shape?
Speaker 2: It's really hard because you have to keep doing it
Speaker 2: to maintain. Basically, if you're not going to class every day,
Speaker 2: then you're losing your ability.
Speaker 1: Can you do the splits at any time?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like that? That's not uncomfortable for you?
Speaker 2: You don't know?
Speaker 1: Okay? Am I wrong? Or is it right? That? Right now?
Speaker 1: With my daughter who is just a year and a half,
Speaker 1: that I'm starting to push or splits farther and farther
Speaker 1: every day. Should I not be doing that?
Speaker 2: I think you should.
Speaker 1: I got to get her there, stretch her feet too. Stretch.
Speaker 1: What do I have to do to the thief?
Speaker 2: Stretch them so that they touched the ground.
Speaker 1: Even if she's crying.
Speaker 2: Whenever you see a tear, then you can stop.
Speaker 1: Oh god, the reality of that that you know that exists,
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's terrifying. Talk about a dancer's typical diet.
Speaker 2: Everyone's really different. It just depends on their body and
Speaker 2: their metabolism.
Speaker 1: What are people having to get on the scale like.
Speaker 2: In front of No, they don't do that anymore, but
Speaker 2: I was definitely.
Speaker 1: When did they do that years ago? In your lifetime
Speaker 1: of ballet?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Okay before you, before me? So you weren't pre Brie.
Speaker 1: Okay pre Bri. I don't even like to think of
Speaker 1: a world pre Brie.
Speaker 2: But I was definitely called in to have the fat talk.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about the fat talk. First of all,
Speaker 1: you're a tiny person, so okay, that's off the table.
Speaker 1: But you think, or maybe I'm wrong, but that you
Speaker 1: were kick out of the Miami City Ballet at one
Speaker 1: point because of being too heavy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's correct.
Speaker 1: But do you know it to be true or it's
Speaker 1: just a hunch you have. I know it to be true,
Speaker 1: which is weird because Miami we like them thick. It
Speaker 1: is weird, honestly, first of all, can we because you're
Speaker 1: never supposed to ask these questions, but I feel like
Speaker 1: I need to. What was your weight back then? Or five? Five?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay? And what would be what would they say on
Speaker 1: your weight should be?
Speaker 2: I got hired when I weighed one to ten.
Speaker 1: It's that goddamn food run.
Speaker 2: The ran the company was a woman, so that kind
Speaker 2: of hurt even deeper. But she called my mother and
Speaker 2: told my mother that I gained twenty pounds.
Speaker 1: Twenty pounds yeah when it was only five.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But in fairness, like freshman five in ballet is equivalent.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm trying to justify it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think in a leotard everything does show
Speaker 2: a lot more than in like street clothes.
Speaker 1: But did it affect your dance? Did five pounds affect
Speaker 1: your day?
Speaker 2: No, it didn't affect my dance. But I was also
Speaker 2: diagnosed with PCOS at that time, so that was like
Speaker 2: something I was dealing with that was affecting my weight.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2: Polycystical variant syndrome. Oh yeah, it's just like a hormone disruptor.
Speaker 1: Does that cause a five pound weight gain?
Speaker 2: It can, because insulin resistance can be a part of
Speaker 2: it too. That like makes your body retain water and
Speaker 2: like retain weight.
Speaker 1: Do you hold a grudge?
Speaker 2: No, I am happy that I ended up leaving the
Speaker 2: company and pursued other things, But I was not proud
Speaker 2: of the way that she handled the situation and the
Speaker 2: way that she treated other people.
Speaker 1: You saw eating disorders. Oh yeah, that's probably huge.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, Well, especially when you have a director who
Speaker 2: wants the dancers really really thin.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. You're like, oh, no, so and
Speaker 1: so is directing this, We're all in trouble.
Speaker 2: Well, she was just the creative director of the whole company.
Speaker 1: At what weight is going on? Point? Not advised? You know,
Speaker 1: because now there's plus sized models. Has that infiltrated the
Speaker 1: ballet world where there's now plus sized dancers?
Speaker 2: No, there aren't plus sized dancers, But I would say
Speaker 2: more and more every year, it's becoming like more acceptable
Speaker 2: to be a healthy weight. But that depends, like company
Speaker 2: to company. Every company is different.
Speaker 1: Do they want the guys this then, or do they
Speaker 1: not care?
Speaker 2: No, they bring them cupcakes? Man?
Speaker 1: Is it It really is a man's world. We get cupcakes,
Speaker 1: they're over there purgein. Do you jump on a scale? Now?
Speaker 1: Yeah you do? Do you care?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I make my wife get on the scale every Thursday.
Speaker 2: Do you measure her as well?
Speaker 1: Her height? Oh? No, you just met all the parts?
Speaker 1: Did they do that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Did they ever measure you? Yes they did.
Speaker 2: Did you measure your he They measured us for costumes?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You ever had diarrhea on stage?
Speaker 2: Thankfully not.
Speaker 1: Do you know anybody that's ever had such an accident?
Speaker 2: No? I've had like wardrobe malfunctions.
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Just your crotches out, your costume
Speaker 1: like falls off while you're dancing?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Ah, was it the best show of your life?
Speaker 2: It's pretty fun.
Speaker 1: By the way, I just learned this, and tell me
Speaker 1: if I'm wrong. But a female dancer was a ballerina.
Speaker 1: A male dancer is a danceeer, a male dancer or
Speaker 1: a male ballet dancer.
Speaker 2: Male ballet dancer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my research has also a dance tour. But if
Speaker 1: you don't know that, then it's not true that all right? Whatever,
Speaker 1: we think a better than ballerinos, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think so too.
Speaker 1: Ballerinos, Yeah, are all dancers sleeping with each other?
Speaker 2: Uh? The men?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh? Just the gayness? Yeah? Are they all gay?
Speaker 1: What percentage of the male it's just your your ballpark
Speaker 1: in it here, ninety percent of them are gay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say you think it's an it's which came first,
Speaker 1: chicken of the egg. Does ballet make you gay?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Or do gay men? They're just drawn to ballet. I'm
Speaker 1: drawn to ballet, but I guess I don't. I just
Speaker 1: like it and to watch I don't.
Speaker 2: I mean there are straight ballet dancers.
Speaker 1: Too, But are they not as good?
Speaker 2: No, they're good. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They're always trying to hit on the girl the ballet Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they get all the girls.
Speaker 1: Oh, they do get them all.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you ever dated? Have you ever dated a ballerino? No?
Speaker 2: Never wanted to.
Speaker 1: What about an instructor, a teacher?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Never, never. No lines are blurred ever. Do you look
Speaker 1: at their hogs when they're wearing those outfits?
Speaker 2: I try not to.
Speaker 1: But you see them all day, aren't you? Guys just
Speaker 1: always naked backstage, just all of you at all times in.
Speaker 2: The dressing room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would be.
Speaker 2: So is it different than any sport?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know. I never did that, Like I was
Speaker 1: the kid that like changed real secretively in the corner rest. No,
Speaker 1: it depends. I mean, that's the beauty of being a
Speaker 1: woman on some level. Nobody's ever like, oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: look at how shorts your vagina is, right, you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a different anxiety as a man. I
Speaker 1: dread it to this day. To this day, I still
Speaker 1: have a note signed by my mother that excused me
Speaker 1: from showering in the lockers after pe class.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have had this debate for so long with
Speaker 1: anybody that listens, and nobody cares. Why is ballet not
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 2: Olympics Because it's an art?
Speaker 1: Okay, they have like every type of dance, like gymnastics,
Speaker 1: they have that dancing, not just the gymnastics, but the
Speaker 1: dancing whatever. All of it is dumb figure skating just
Speaker 1: a dumb, dumber form of ballet. It's it's crazy that
Speaker 1: ballet is all about Like there are tons of experts
Speaker 1: that are like, that was precise, that was not but
Speaker 1: and that's all that's all gymnastics is judging. Why are
Speaker 1: you on the fucking wrong side of this one? How
Speaker 1: are you going to tell me that breakdancing. Breakdancing got
Speaker 1: into the Olympics before ballet.
Speaker 2: I don't think break dancing should be an Olympics.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't.
Speaker 2: But here's the issue though, if you make it a sport,
Speaker 2: then it's going to take out all of the artistry
Speaker 2: because people are just going to be focused on completing
Speaker 2: a technicalities than like showing there you're wrong. Okay.
Speaker 1: Too many sports in the Olympics are based purely off
Speaker 1: judging diving. All of that is is how your body
Speaker 1: is turning, how it enters.
Speaker 2: So that's so artistry is so subjective.
Speaker 1: I know you're going to have people that are going
Speaker 1: to be upset, but are there not the best ballerinas
Speaker 1: in the world that you're like, she's the best, they're
Speaker 1: the top. Yeah, right, so there's a reason that you
Speaker 1: know that person is better than the other person.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there are definitely judges that could say this person
Speaker 1: on this particular dance was better than this person on
Speaker 1: that particular dance. And yes, it's subjective, but it still
Speaker 1: should be people dancing for their country. Oh I stand
Speaker 1: by this, okay. And you're surfings in the Olympics. That's
Speaker 1: purely judged, and that's artistry in the water. I can't
Speaker 1: believe you so mad at you do dancers suffer long
Speaker 1: term injuries from all the impacts?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Well why are you laughing?
Speaker 2: Emotional? Physical?
Speaker 1: No? But I mean I mean, like like a football player.
Speaker 1: When you see a football player in their fifties, it's
Speaker 1: kind of sad. You're like, oh, the knees, the joints.
Speaker 1: Do dancers have that same problem later in life or
Speaker 1: not as much?
Speaker 2: Some and some dance forever and they're in great shape.
Speaker 2: Like one of my ballet teachers was seventy two and
Speaker 2: she had more energy than me and went out tango
Speaker 2: dancing at night.
Speaker 1: And is there steroids in the ballet? People do it?
Speaker 1: I bet I know it. I think they do. I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't get tested as a ballerina right now, so
Speaker 1: you're allowed to use steroids since it's art. I guess
Speaker 1: this is where you're probably, this is where you have
Speaker 1: so many holes in your argument. You should you should
Speaker 1: be all jacked up on steroids.
Speaker 2: But then you would be too swol.
Speaker 1: No, No, we'll moderate it. I will figure it out.
Speaker 1: Your jumps will get a little higher. Blah blah bla.
Speaker 2: I mean my cancers used to take a lot of coke.
Speaker 1: Coke. Yeah, back in the time, you done cocaine. Never never,
Speaker 1: never look at me. Never. If I put cocaine on
Speaker 1: the table right now, I don't even know what to do.
Speaker 1: Would you take some of it? Wouldn't even know what
Speaker 1: to do with it? You would know what to do
Speaker 1: with it? What is that? If I gave you just
Speaker 1: I'm not saying a lot of cocaine, just a little
Speaker 1: bit of cocaine right now, you're gonna do some cocaine.
Speaker 2: I don't even take caffeine.
Speaker 1: You don't mean either, like Mormons? Did you like living
Speaker 1: in Miami?
Speaker 2: Not particularly?
Speaker 1: I lived in South Peach for a while. You didn't
Speaker 1: I once I no longer lived there, right, it was
Speaker 1: like I was like, oh that was fun. But I
Speaker 1: mean when I was there, like.
Speaker 2: The weird place to live. Yeah, yeah, that's for sure,
Speaker 2: because everyone's partying and you're going to work.
Speaker 1: When I think about I used to go shoot, you know,
Speaker 1: I had this interview show at nightclubs, like we wouldn't
Speaker 1: leave to go to some nightclubs till two in the morning.
Speaker 1: And I'm just when I wrap my head around that now,
Speaker 1: I'm like, couldn't be me?
Speaker 2: I went to one club once for about ten minutes,
Speaker 2: and I was like, never again.
Speaker 1: Was your family more proud when you landed a gig
Speaker 1: as a dancer at the Miami City Ballet or when
Speaker 1: your sister was hired as a post production assistant on
Speaker 1: Tosh point zero because both organizations are prestigious in their field. Sorry, Lauren,
Speaker 1: they were more proud of the Miami City Ballet.
Speaker 2: I think, so okay, But they also put a lot
Speaker 2: of money into my training, so maybe that was what.
Speaker 1: Do you ever have a dollar figure on how much
Speaker 1: they've spent on you?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Do you want to know if I said they spent
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand on your ballet career from birth till now,
Speaker 1: would you be like, Oh, that sounds low or.
Speaker 2: That sounds high?
Speaker 1: That sounds high? Yeah, I'm just ballparking it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's not a sport that a lot of poor people
Speaker 1: can get in.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 1: It's not an art form that a lot of poor
Speaker 1: people can get into.
Speaker 2: No, but there are scholarships.
Speaker 1: But to get good to get a scholarship takes a
Speaker 1: lot of sacrifice that a lot of poor people might
Speaker 1: not be able to have.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the only time I've ever seen a poor person
Speaker 1: in ballet is in a movie where like, look at
Speaker 1: this poor person that's doing ballet, and she's a little
Speaker 1: different and edgier. It's a dumb bag story. Always she's
Speaker 1: trying to incorporate hip hop into ballet. It's never going
Speaker 1: to work. What's your favorite ballet movie?
Speaker 2: Center Stage?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did you ever see the show Tiny Pretty Things?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, I watched Tiny Pretty Things.
Speaker 2: Auditioned for it.
Speaker 1: You auditioned for it? Yeah, I would have loved for
Speaker 1: you to have been in that show. Now talk about
Speaker 1: gay porn. Oh yeah, there were just dudes on dudes
Speaker 1: the whole way through that thing. I don't really understand
Speaker 1: the show. They pushed somebody off like an eight story
Speaker 1: building and she lived. Yeah, she was in a coma
Speaker 1: the whole time. Now, the show is weird. I watched it, though,
Speaker 1: it wasn't meant for me.
Speaker 2: Definitely not the demographic.
Speaker 1: No, I'm some forty year old dude watching this young
Speaker 1: ballet show. Did you guys watch it? No? You remember
Speaker 1: bun Heads. Yeah, A group of the writers on Tosh
Speaker 1: point zero all would watch it together and then they
Speaker 1: would live tweet during the show just about bun heads
Speaker 1: and things that were going on, and they thought it
Speaker 1: was the greatest thing. Will you always be a bunhead?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is the ballet world really like the movie Black Swan?
Speaker 1: Also off topic me, lacunis, do you think she and
Speaker 1: her rape apologists husband get wrapped up in this Diddy disaster?
Speaker 2: Part one? Yes and no okay and part two no comment.
Speaker 1: Aw, they're in there, that's gonna happen. By the way,
Speaker 1: your sister worked for me. Your sister originally when she
Speaker 1: first came into my life, she was an assistant for
Speaker 1: the clip clearance guy. This guy is just like he
Speaker 1: would clear the videos that were on the show. I
Speaker 1: also threw up on your sister on camera, that was
Speaker 1: her first appearance. That was nice. But then she worked
Speaker 1: under my stylus, Carrie, and she clothed me for many years. Lauren.
Speaker 1: I'll say something to your sister anytime we ever have
Speaker 1: large groups of people visit, before people leave, I let
Speaker 1: them know who was the best guest and who was
Speaker 1: the worst guest. And she was always the best guest.
Speaker 1: She just knows how to be a guest. You know
Speaker 1: this is we're not talking about. This is like when
Speaker 1: a large group of people are staying together for an
Speaker 1: extended period of time. I don't know. He didn't have
Speaker 1: to worry about her. She coulways take care of everybody else.
Speaker 1: She was considered, like, hey, I got food for everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and now I'll be honest. It's not without complaint. Okay,
Speaker 1: nobody sheds more than her, This is true. God, damn
Speaker 1: the money. One time I bought her a plug that
Speaker 1: she could use in my drains for when she would visit,
Speaker 1: because the amount of hair that would come out of
Speaker 1: her head. Now you have the same problem.
Speaker 2: No, you don't know quite as much hair as too
Speaker 2: much hair.
Speaker 1: I just remember that your age gap is a little
Speaker 1: you're seven eight years apart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to save the marriage.
Speaker 1: Baby, how'd that work?
Speaker 2: Not great?
Speaker 1: It didn't save the Did you cause your parents to separate?
Speaker 2: Maybe?
Speaker 1: Were you ever competitive with your sisters or with a
Speaker 1: gap so big that it didn't know?
Speaker 2: And she was always so supportive?
Speaker 1: Yeah she really is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I knew about your career long before I
Speaker 1: ever met you, just because of how much she talked
Speaker 1: about you. I was like, shut up, no one gives
Speaker 1: a shit about this. Ballerina. Do more people call you
Speaker 1: bri or Brianna.
Speaker 2: My closest friends call me bri Your closest friends Cammy Brie.
Speaker 1: Am I your closest friend? No, no, I'm not. I'll
Speaker 1: stick to Brianna. I think Brianna's fancy. And it's like
Speaker 1: it's almost all the same letters as Ballerina. Do you
Speaker 1: ever notice that, speaking of letters, you're engaged. Congratulations to
Speaker 1: a tiny fellow. Uh, everyone in her family he was
Speaker 1: in munchkin Land. He's not. He's a normal person, but
Speaker 1: everyone in their family they always just refer to Brianna
Speaker 1: and her fiancee a j as as. Oh, there's just
Speaker 1: so cute and tiny, which I always is very average. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're fine. Five. My wife was talking to you like
Speaker 1: you were like the tiniest little thing, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: she's three inches taller than you. You're in musical theater
Speaker 1: and your fiance is a singer songwriter. What's it like
Speaker 1: to live on negative four hundred dollars per months?
Speaker 2: Super fun?
Speaker 1: You live in New York City. Then you moved right
Speaker 1: at the pandemic or before the pandemic August, so smack
Speaker 1: dab in the pandemic Okay, to Nashville, a city that
Speaker 1: exploded during the pandemic. A lot of people talk about, like, oh,
Speaker 1: the mass exodus out of California or into Texas and Florida.
Speaker 1: When people talk about Nashville how it exploded, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I saw it from my own eyes. I'd go there.
Speaker 1: I'm like, good God, this has changed.
Speaker 2: The housing market has like tripled.
Speaker 1: Did you guys buy when you were there? No, you
Speaker 1: didn't even score nothing. But did you enjoy living in Nashville?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why did you? A New York ballerina, Broadway singer, all
Speaker 1: of that, Why would you go to Nashville?
Speaker 2: Well, during the pandemic, my whole career was just shut down. Okay,
Speaker 2: the whole business. So I went to Nashville for AJ's
Speaker 2: music career, and there's just so much of that. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of art. There's like something for everyone.
Speaker 1: It's very there's nothing for ballerinas.
Speaker 2: Nothing really for ballerinas. But it's a very like just small,
Speaker 2: manageable town. It's a lot easier. Just everything's easier. You
Speaker 2: can get in your car and get your groceries.
Speaker 1: What are you happy to be gone? Would you? Are
Speaker 1: you glad that you're left Nashville behind me.
Speaker 2: Bittersweet for sure, but I'm happy to be back more
Speaker 2: in my business. In the scene where.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, it was like, listen, fiance, we've
Speaker 1: been living for your dream long enough. Let's go back
Speaker 1: to the bread and butter.
Speaker 2: Sort of guid and sense.
Speaker 1: Now, if you had your your druthers here, would you
Speaker 1: rather your fiance make it huge? Okay? Or you make
Speaker 1: it pretty well off? Like not not to the absolute top,
Speaker 1: but wow, what a career the first Yeah, you're a liar,
Speaker 1: can't believe it. You're just like a Hallmark movie. Give
Speaker 1: everything away for somebody else. It's just knows. You gotta
Speaker 1: be selfish, no one listen.
Speaker 2: If you's to make it all the way, then that's
Speaker 2: gonna help me, of course.
Speaker 1: But that's not what you want. You guys want to
Speaker 1: have a family and that kind of stuff. Yeah, Are
Speaker 1: you going to torture your children into the to the
Speaker 1: art form that you loved so much at one point?
Speaker 2: No, if they want to, I will encourage them and
Speaker 2: stretch their feet, but I will hope that they are
Speaker 2: good at other things.
Speaker 1: You and age, you just sit around all day and
Speaker 1: just sing to each other. I hear you do not
Speaker 1: all day.
Speaker 2: I hear you guys do sometimes like you guys like it,
Speaker 2: Like I mean he's a musician. He might sit at
Speaker 2: the piano and play a song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but even when other people are like come over
Speaker 1: for like wine, and you guys just sing that it's
Speaker 1: really cute. That is the silliest thing. I would never
Speaker 1: have so wholesome. Oh, it's so it's so weird.
Speaker 2: No coke or anything.
Speaker 1: Age you had a hit Billy Joel. Does he force
Speaker 1: you into all of his music videos or do you
Speaker 1: force yourself into his music videos because you're like Shakira,
Speaker 1: didn't she used to date like like a mentally abusive
Speaker 1: soccer player. Am I wrong on all of this? I
Speaker 1: could be making it up, not ringing any else. And
Speaker 1: he wouldn't allow her for like a decade when you
Speaker 1: didn't hear from Shakira, they wouldn't allow her to be
Speaker 1: in any music video with another man. Then they just
Speaker 1: recently got divorced, and now you're you're seeing Shakira all
Speaker 1: over the place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's back. It's not like that. No, we just
Speaker 2: co collaborate and I helped produce his music videos.
Speaker 1: By the way, does he sing country music. Why did
Speaker 1: I thought he didn't. I thought he's saying pop.
Speaker 2: He does pop? Yeah, but he right? Whatever?
Speaker 1: Did he write any country hits out there?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Nah. I used to dabble with a girl that wrote
Speaker 1: country music. She also sang, but she but every day
Speaker 1: she'd have to she was like in a deal, she'd
Speaker 1: have to deliver twelve songs a day, a day some
Speaker 1: something some year. No no, no, no, no, Like it
Speaker 1: was just churning out ding dumb shit after dumb shit. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something else about this girl. What
Speaker 1: She was the first person I remember we were sitting
Speaker 1: in a hotel bed. Don't tell my wife about this,
Speaker 1: and she was the first person to go. She was
Speaker 1: like looking at me and going, oh, you're going bald
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I was like like twenty
Speaker 1: eight or twenty nine, and she goes, I don't care,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, and I'm like, bitch, I care,
Speaker 1: Like you're not going to be the last person I'm
Speaker 1: with anyway, that's that shouldn't But she wrote a song
Speaker 1: about me.
Speaker 2: I feels it about your baldness.
Speaker 1: Shut up. Everybody that's on the show gets gifts. It's
Speaker 1: just stuff in the house. You're not gonna like, well,
Speaker 1: you might like some of it. These are some of
Speaker 1: these who are like leading up to your wedding, you
Speaker 1: have to like do different like parties and things, but
Speaker 1: you have to wear white, so there's different like white dresses.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, there'll be.
Speaker 1: Some fun things in there. I don't know what they are.
Speaker 1: You'll you'll you'll like them. And you're cooler than Some
Speaker 1: of this stuff has tags. I go, I go, honey,
Speaker 1: why why are you giving this? Uh to brown? And
Speaker 1: she she's cooler, she's gonna. I can't wear these things.
Speaker 1: I'm not cool.
Speaker 2: This is great.
Speaker 1: There's a lot, there's a lot here. Look, you're gonna
Speaker 1: you're gonna love all this stuff. What do we got here?
Speaker 1: I don't know what this is. Oh, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see you in this number. Look at that's extra small.
Speaker 1: Huh what is this? I don't know if this is?
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's a that's a slinky little number. Now
Speaker 1: it's gonna be on A J's wife. Are you taking
Speaker 1: his name?
Speaker 2: Not legally? But I will be known as missus.
Speaker 1: I've seen I've seen my wife and this one he's
Speaker 1: the one that one before, Oh, this one, Oh, this
Speaker 1: will be You'll like this dress's.
Speaker 2: Great for wicked? Are you going to I've already seen
Speaker 2: it twice.
Speaker 1: Look at this horrible thing like a haunted doll wore
Speaker 1: that I can't wait for you to wear. That was awful. Okay,
Speaker 1: now here, get that off my desk, put it, put
Speaker 1: it back into the bag that it came over there.
Speaker 1: Four here, Then I got you. These are I took
Speaker 1: these from my kids because you and your everybody refers
Speaker 1: to you as little gingerbread, you and your fiance, so
Speaker 1: that that that can be a j and that can
Speaker 1: be you and then you guys when eventually, when you
Speaker 1: guys go to therapy, you can use these to point
Speaker 1: at where you're feeling the pain. I don't know. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, little therapy.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: You'll be fine with those. Get it off the desk.
Speaker 1: You played Sorilla in West Side Story. Was that a
Speaker 1: dream gig for you? Yeah? By the way, Steven sewel Ward,
Speaker 1: what was he like as a choreographer. He's not Did
Speaker 1: he stay away from that?
Speaker 2: He stayed away from the choreography, but he was definitely
Speaker 2: there every day.
Speaker 1: Do you really believe that when you're a jet, you're
Speaker 1: a jet all the way yep, from your first cigarette
Speaker 1: to your last dying day?
Speaker 2: Correct?
Speaker 1: Was being on that set You're heaven? Yeah? It was.
Speaker 2: It was amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's great. Yeah. I had to watch. I
Speaker 1: had to sit through that turn just to be like, ah,
Speaker 1: there's Bren.
Speaker 2: Did you recognize me?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure, it was like you were in a gymnasium
Speaker 1: or something. I remember all that. Yeah. Was your West
Speaker 1: Side Story character in a gang for the whites of
Speaker 1: the Puerto Ricans the Italians? Was it? No? Isn't it?
Speaker 1: Wasn't it just whites' versus Puerto Ricans and that Which
Speaker 1: were you? Were you Puerto Rican or white?
Speaker 2: In the movie very very white?
Speaker 1: You were white? Ah, you could pass this Porto Rican? Really,
Speaker 1: don't you think? Okay, I'm always around you don't think
Speaker 1: she can know? You say? No, way, No, I think
Speaker 1: she could pass the Puerto Rican.
Speaker 2: Great agent.
Speaker 1: Do her makeup a little different, throwing some cute, big
Speaker 1: old hoops, do an appropriated accent? It's Puerto Rican, it's
Speaker 1: not allowed. What what's some auditions of that? You didn't
Speaker 1: get that? Of projects? You're like, oh, I wish I
Speaker 1: would have gotten that.
Speaker 2: The marvelous Missus masl I auditioned for twelve different roles.
Speaker 1: Twelve different roles, the marvelous Missus Mazel Yeah, and they
Speaker 1: said no, they said no, they said.
Speaker 2: You're I'm old for a couple. But I didn't get it.
Speaker 1: And each roll out of the twelve they said, this
Speaker 1: person is five pounds too heavy. One of the odds.
Speaker 2: I think I was actually too thin for some of
Speaker 2: the rules.
Speaker 1: So you never, it's a different era, it's a different error.
Speaker 1: Do you have any issue when just to sing at
Speaker 1: the drop of a hat.
Speaker 2: I'd prefer to have notice.
Speaker 1: I'm not asking you sing right now, but I mean
Speaker 1: like at a table read where it's like, oh, we're
Speaker 1: just now singing the other day, I was talking to you.
Speaker 2: I sing a cappella yesterday at the audition.
Speaker 1: Wait, she has this audition yesterday. Listen to this nightmare
Speaker 1: of what she has to do. She goes to this
Speaker 1: audition yesterday. There's like a hundred people. They're all in
Speaker 1: one room and they're just individually like dancing learning numbers,
Speaker 1: splitting up into small rooms in front of each other.
Speaker 1: And then they're like, okay, now we're gonna do some
Speaker 1: little scenes between yeah, you guys, pair up. We did
Speaker 1: some cold reading, and they're doing that in front of
Speaker 1: the whole hundred people. Now I'm going to walk around
Speaker 1: and touch the people that I actually want to see
Speaker 1: more of. And she got tapped. Of course she's so good.
Speaker 1: But then, like, how embarrassing that.
Speaker 2: Was the first time I had to sing a cappella
Speaker 2: for anything. Normally there's like a pianist there.
Speaker 1: I wish I could sing. I could never sing. I
Speaker 1: just can't do it. It's not good. The thing that I
Speaker 1: hate about musical theaters is when they're not singing songs
Speaker 1: but singing dialogue. That fucking me so much.
Speaker 2: They're not singing songs that they're singing dialog, you know,
Speaker 2: like whether I just singing like like Hamilton.
Speaker 1: Yes, any of that ship or watch mccallay. What was
Speaker 1: the other one that Hugh Jackman did a while ago?
Speaker 2: There was a movie The Greatest Showman. No fuck love
Speaker 2: the Greatestman.
Speaker 1: By the way, I love The Greatest Showman too, thank God.
Speaker 1: The Greatest Showman's the best. I'm talking about the other one,
Speaker 1: miss Oh, yes, like that when you're walking around Now
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the river. You could do it. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm doing an impression of someone trying to Maybe that's
Speaker 1: how you're going to sing? Is that? Yeah? But that's
Speaker 1: not really singing, is it. I can sing like my grandpa.
Speaker 2: How does he sing?
Speaker 1: He sings like this? Did that weird fucking like forties
Speaker 1: from the radio? Kermit the frog thing? M h, I
Speaker 1: see scars or blue? He always did a version of that.
Speaker 1: I felt it red roses. Now you got a new one?
Speaker 1: Uh uh. My wife went to watch your table read
Speaker 1: you got. You and your fiance produce creative music a musical? Yes,
Speaker 1: and now has he written a lot of the songs
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: He wrote all the songs with his co writer.
Speaker 1: I heard from other people that the songs were amazing.
Speaker 1: That's nice. Yeah, but that's what they said. They said
Speaker 1: the songs. They said there was some other trouble in spots,
Speaker 1: but other than that, they said this. They said the
Speaker 1: songs were amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So this would be your dream gig, your own project,
Speaker 1: this music.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What's this musical about.
Speaker 2: It's about how Prince Charming came to be, a tale
Speaker 2: as old as time.
Speaker 1: Is it funny?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kill Yeah. It's about the princess Estella, the
Speaker 2: princess behind Prince Charming.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know nothing of her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's new.
Speaker 1: She's new. Yeah, Oh you made her up. Yes that's good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I still can. I'm furious at your stance in the Olympics.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Brianna for being here today. Of course, I
Speaker 1: look forward to seeing you for at least three to
Speaker 1: five more years, and then the career has to stop
Speaker 1: right now. Listen, if you're ever dancing or singing, I
Speaker 1: will be there to support you.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Okay, I appreciate it, and you're welcome.
Speaker 1: Casha. I want to thank Brianna for being on the
Speaker 1: show and I can't wait to dance with her at
Speaker 1: her wedding. Oh, it's gonna be intense. Hey, believe it
Speaker 1: or not. Guys, you think I'm hunting these down, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I've got another poop story. Come on, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: believe this now. Every morning, around six point thirty ish,
Speaker 1: I go and get my daughter. First, I warm her
Speaker 1: up like three ounces of milk, and I uh get
Speaker 1: my wife a cup of coffee and bring the coffee
Speaker 1: to my wife. I hand my wife the bottle and
Speaker 1: then I go get my daughter and then I bring
Speaker 1: her into our bedroom and I give her the bottle,
Speaker 1: I change her diaper whatever, and then in the next
Speaker 1: thirty minutes, my son wakes up and he comes into
Speaker 1: the room and climbs into the bed. Now fast forward
Speaker 1: to the part where they're all in the bed. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm rolling on my side. I got an iPad and
Speaker 1: I'm watching some Australian Open because the time zone it's
Speaker 1: just ridiculous. I believe I'm watching some cocoa golf. I
Speaker 1: mean I'm being attacked. I'm being stepped on, just watching
Speaker 1: the game. Okay, Now, my wife at one point during this,
Speaker 1: my daughter said she had to go use the bathroom.
Speaker 1: She's learning how to she's being potty trained, very young,
Speaker 1: very you know, very above average. Anyway, Uh, she doesn't
Speaker 1: put a diaper back on her. That's fine because there's
Speaker 1: a lot of false alarms when she's learning how to potty. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she's back in the bed. No type. Run. You guys
Speaker 1: are getting where the story's going. Okay. Kids are still
Speaker 1: on top of me doing stuff, having fun. I'm watching
Speaker 1: cocoa golf. Next thing I know, my son says, I
Speaker 1: smell poop. Okay, and that's not new. You know, you're
Speaker 1: in my bed. I'm a fart machine. Anyway. I okay,
Speaker 1: my my wife looks around it and there's no poop
Speaker 1: in here. You gotta go to the bathroom where she
Speaker 1: checks with. Every kid says they don't have to. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm still watching tennis. It's like five or so minutes
Speaker 1: go by. My son says, he's he said, this is
Speaker 1: what I hear. You ready for this? He says, why
Speaker 1: is there plato in the bed? Oh? No, I'm like,
Speaker 1: there's no. Oh, I just I just I don't even
Speaker 1: turn back. He and then he's like, this is baby.
Speaker 1: He's like, it's poop. It's poop. I'm on my side.
Speaker 1: I'm not even looking now what's happening by I just
Speaker 1: I'm just looking at my screen. I'm watching tennis, and
Speaker 1: I know. And then Carl's like, don't move, don't move,
Speaker 1: it's there's and and he's starting to cry because now
Speaker 1: he thought there was plato in the bed and he
Speaker 1: squished it and it's not. I mean, wait, this is
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous. Hold on, okay, huh, my way, I don't.
Speaker 1: She's like, I don't know where it came from. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you don't know where it came it came from our daughter,
Speaker 1: our daughters, but I know where it came from. She's like,
Speaker 1: she didn't poop. I'm like she did. Maybe she dropped
Speaker 1: the nugget in the diaper when you ripped it off
Speaker 1: and you didn't see it fly out. I don't know
Speaker 1: the answer. All I know is my son's crying because
Speaker 1: he squished plato that was poop. And it's like I'm
Speaker 1: not allowed to move because it's like right behind me anyway.
Speaker 1: All right, so we get this stuff cleaned up. She
Speaker 1: strips the bed and she doesn't change the pillowcases. I'm like,
Speaker 1: don't you think we should change the pillowcase when there's
Speaker 1: like a rogue turd floating around? Yeah, she doesn't change
Speaker 1: the pillowcases. That's the end of the story. It's just
Speaker 1: complete nonsense in our house at all time. Whatever. We
Speaker 1: got some plugs. Oh yeah, we do the Toss show
Speaker 1: store dot com. Check that out. We got some new
Speaker 1: tours coming up. My tour tickets on sale this Friday.
Speaker 1: New York City, New Jersey, Omaha, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Madison, Chicago.
Speaker 1: Look at me. Check out Eddie too. Eddie's got some dates.
Speaker 1: Andy's gonna be with me. It's gonna be exciting. Now
Speaker 1: it's time for the free plug. Okay, hit the free
Speaker 1: plug music. That's good pre plug music. Woo all right,
Speaker 1: today's free plug. If you're in the Oklahoma City area,
Speaker 1: head on over to Slaughterville Park. WHOA Slaughterville. It's completed
Speaker 1: and opened in October twenty nineteen. The land was acquired
Speaker 1: by the town in February twenty fourteen. It's on Slaughterville Road,
Speaker 1: one half mile east of US Highway seventy seven. Slaughterville
Speaker 1: Park is open daily from six am to ten pm.
Speaker 1: That's pretty late. It's got one half mile of trail,
Speaker 1: plenty of room for everybody for leisurely walks to vigorous
Speaker 1: joggers and kids on bicycles or roller blades. There's still
Speaker 1: roller blade in OKC. Interesting. I feel like rollerbladings kind
Speaker 1: of it had its moments done. Slaughterville Park offers a
Speaker 1: covered pavilion near the entrance with picnic tables, two grills.
Speaker 1: Those aren't gas, are they? Two grills and restrooms nearby.
Speaker 1: Six fitness stations and eight sitting benches are placed throughout
Speaker 1: the park trail. Slaughterville Park is a great place to
Speaker 1: enjoy a family picnic, a scenic stroll in nature, or
Speaker 1: sit and enjoy the sound of the country. It's only
Speaker 1: forty five minutes outside of Oklahoma City. I see it.
Speaker 1: What is going on? That's a long way to go.
Speaker 1: I'll see you guys next week.