Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean they also made blood pudding like the British,
Speaker 1: and they're they're tastes and stuff. Yeah, now they do
Speaker 1: weird stuff man. Yeah, I'm not especially to have been
Speaker 1: in charge, do you know what I mean? Like they
Speaker 1: like you suck? How are you running it? That's yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all eat like the slaves, and that don't make sense.
Speaker 1: Like black people are truth, you're not black people had
Speaker 1: had to take the scraps. Why are you choosing the
Speaker 1: fucking scraps? You started out with blood sausage. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's fucking weird, man. Come on, you could just the regular,
Speaker 1: not bloody sausages. Chips in your hands. Man's racist as
Speaker 1: money actually stuff I can't tell me. Give you me
Speaker 1: a good home rep. Yeah, we're back, but that's a
Speaker 1: perfect way to come back. We're back here for part
Speaker 1: two of My mama told me. It's holiday special extravaganza. Extravaganza.
Speaker 1: There's there's goddamn streamers strong all around us, and I
Speaker 1: don't know what you do. Yeah, bring us some figgy pudding.
Speaker 1: Bit of figgy pudding? Have you had figgy pudding? No?
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I don't either. Context
Speaker 1: of that song. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds pretty good.
Speaker 1: It sounds like some shing I would brown. I like
Speaker 1: banana pudding, and I like Fick Newton's. So if it's
Speaker 1: anywhere like some kind of weird mixed breed of that,
Speaker 1: I would work with this. That would be crazy. That
Speaker 1: would be crazy, right, Yeah, what if? What if? The
Speaker 1: reason we've never had figgy pudding is because it's so
Speaker 1: good that they had to, like truly like wipe it
Speaker 1: off the map. They had it out. Yeah, they were like,
Speaker 1: this is out of control, delicious, and it's making it's
Speaker 1: tearing families apart. Types. That's interesting because not a lot
Speaker 1: of foods die like that. Right, No, but I bet
Speaker 1: just died. I bet. We don't know why, you know.
Speaker 1: For a reason Olivia is saying figgy pudding is a
Speaker 1: pudding in the British sense of the word, which means
Speaker 1: it is a steamed cake like dessert. Wait it's a cake. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds they're so dumb about food, can we man?
Speaker 1: The British need to kill yourself stop eating food? Maybe
Speaker 1: because you're bad at it? Oh beans for breakfast, I'll
Speaker 1: kill you. We're getting more information here. This particular Christmas
Speaker 1: version is traditionally made with sweat. Sweat which is raw
Speaker 1: beef or mutton fat, eggs, brown sugar, breadcrumbs, spices, dried fruits,
Speaker 1: and last, but certainly not least, brandy. British had bad
Speaker 1: taste and food is what Olivia, I don't know when
Speaker 1: you say all those things together, I'm not mad at
Speaker 1: it again. I was. I didn't like the raw beef
Speaker 1: or mutton fat, and then I started liking it as
Speaker 1: we went along, which we know for a fact is
Speaker 1: a sponsor of the episode. Thank you. That's that's that's
Speaker 1: that's from. We are brought to you by the Ark
Speaker 1: and the Jerk Juice. I don't know where you're from,
Speaker 1: Ernest and Jamal. I think you come from the Ernestine.
Speaker 1: You stayed with the Jamal Jal. But no, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick us off a little more into some of this research.
Speaker 1: But I think we should also open this up. You
Speaker 1: talked about this over the break that that we should
Speaker 1: probably open this conversation up to a lot of holiday
Speaker 1: traditions that sort of deal in I think just race
Speaker 1: and community and people's behaviors, if you will. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like that because racially people are weird on Christmas? Like
Speaker 1: there's all kinds of right. Yeah, a lot of people
Speaker 1: are doing some odd ship in in celebration of a
Speaker 1: thing that we feel like it is a little more
Speaker 1: standardized than they're treating it. Yeah. I don't even know
Speaker 1: of uniform what is? Okay? Wait, anyway, I want to
Speaker 1: know do you have information on did he die around Christmas?
Speaker 1: So when he died? He died on December six? That
Speaker 1: was the original sort of like death day today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he died, he died today. That's a wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Here we are recording December six, and this is the
Speaker 1: day St. Nicholas died. Yeah, then why don't you drop
Speaker 1: something from my man St. Nicholas to let him? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I would do better than that, but that was pretty good.
Speaker 1: Let's see what else happens. Okay, okay, now give us
Speaker 1: no you can do better. I can't do better than that.
Speaker 1: All right, this goes out to you. St. Nicholas. Sound
Speaker 1: me close? How did you say it? Uh? Center clouds?
Speaker 1: See if their clouds. Something's trying to smell your dick
Speaker 1: and having dog one time for for center clouds. Okay,
Speaker 1: So wait, so when all these Dutch people had this
Speaker 1: party that was December six. Yeah, they were going out
Speaker 1: in parties December six every time. And then in eighteen
Speaker 1: o nine, this dude Washington Irving basically helped to popularize
Speaker 1: center clouds stories. No, although you're what you're thinking of
Speaker 1: is is my boy Clement Clark Moore who wrote to
Speaker 1: us the night before Christmas in eighteen twenty two, which
Speaker 1: ultimately ends up giving us the current iteration of Santa Claus,
Speaker 1: the chubby, sort of jolly fat riding around on reindeer,
Speaker 1: climbing up chimneys, Santa Claus. But but this dude Washington
Speaker 1: Irvin eight No. Nine basically starts describing Center Clause. But
Speaker 1: he's describing him originally as like a rascal with a
Speaker 1: blue cornered, three cornered hat, red waistcoat and yellow stockings.
Speaker 1: See I like that a little better. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like, yeah, he's tacky. He's got my
Speaker 1: three cornered hat on. I can't tell me I'm not
Speaker 1: a two cornered hat bitch said something. I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: my man's a rascal. He's sticking, he's sticking thumbs up
Speaker 1: people's butts, yellow tights on you didn't tell me ship.
Speaker 1: What's he gonna do about it? Motherfucker? He ain't Nicholas too.
Speaker 1: I can't remember the name already. Center center clous center clouds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're sucking up again. I'm sure my holiday too.
Speaker 1: So so what was he doing when he was a rascal?
Speaker 1: I like that better. So I don't I there weren't
Speaker 1: really like super specific about the rascal of it all.
Speaker 1: But it just doesn't sound like a dude who's like
Speaker 1: walking around as much like giving away gifts as he
Speaker 1: is like a little more elfish, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: See that's fun. I would rather be like Christmas time pranks, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the twelve Pranks of Christmas or something. You know, it's
Speaker 1: we're in the writer's room. But yeah, he puts like
Speaker 1: a he like gives you a wet willie and then
Speaker 1: afterwards he's like, I got you something. No, I love
Speaker 1: cool guy. Come on, give me a kiss, Come on
Speaker 1: it maybe on this hat. He shows up with the
Speaker 1: hat around his waist and he's like, oh, the hats
Speaker 1: down here, now go ahead and kiss around it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he was more of a fun guy with a
Speaker 1: blue hat before before old Clement Clark Moore gets involved,
Speaker 1: which was the Night Before Christmas, which is the poem
Speaker 1: that tells us that he's this big, fat dude and
Speaker 1: before then he's like a Turkish silly billy. He also
Speaker 1: introduced like the reindeer and stuff too. Right, Yeah, he
Speaker 1: introduced the reindeer. He introduced the chimney climbing all that stuff.
Speaker 1: That was a big shot, like from a man, like
Speaker 1: you know, it really was. And and frankly, it feels
Speaker 1: like almost like how Dracula is is now our depiction
Speaker 1: of vampires in a way, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: where it's like definitely. One dude was like, yeah, they
Speaker 1: all got those Eddie Munster haircuts, and yeah, we're all
Speaker 1: shoulder pads and the high collar and yeah, like oh
Speaker 1: that's what they look like. Yo. Does he get his
Speaker 1: credit for inventing Santa? I don't think so. I've never
Speaker 1: shouted him out. I never heard. I've never been one
Speaker 1: time for my boy old On we could do it, though,
Speaker 1: give give shout out my boy one time for my
Speaker 1: boy Clement Clark more from twas the Night before Christmas.
Speaker 1: We love you, hell yeah, we we honor you on
Speaker 1: this day St. Nicholas's death day as well, because you
Speaker 1: you made him look less Asian than he was before
Speaker 1: you took and somehow made him fat, which I don't
Speaker 1: think there was as many fat guys back then. So
Speaker 1: that was a defining trait. Yeah, you went out of
Speaker 1: your way to be like this dude eats like a motherfucker,
Speaker 1: and then gave him and then gave him rain d
Speaker 1: which aren't indigenous to the United States. Nah was it?
Speaker 1: Was it an American guy who wrote that, I believe so. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he was that's the real crazy. Well, remember Santa
Speaker 1: I think he Santa lived in the North Pole, so
Speaker 1: he imagined what the North Pole animals would be, which
Speaker 1: was oh wait, he already lived in the North Pole
Speaker 1: when he was like when he was a Turkish rascal.
Speaker 1: I think by the time that my boy Clement gets involved,
Speaker 1: he is a North Pole resident. Oh that's not I
Speaker 1: think Clement it may have in fact, been one of
Speaker 1: the people that introduced that concept. That's that's what all
Speaker 1: of this is. It's like Clement really shaped all of
Speaker 1: what we now understand to be Santa Claus lore. Okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, I can, okay, Okay. So he took
Speaker 1: a lot of big swings and and made made some hits.
Speaker 1: He really no, it's not a black man at all.
Speaker 1: He In fact, I looked him up and I've never
Speaker 1: seen a whier man before in my life. Truly look
Speaker 1: like somebody tried to draw Thomas Jefferson by heart, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It then becomes even more popular
Speaker 1: because store start to advertise Christmas shopping in eighteen twenty.
Speaker 1: By the eighteen forties, newspapers were creating separate sections for
Speaker 1: holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly popular
Speaker 1: Santa Clause of the of Clement's version of Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: So this went completely It's just propaganda. It's commercialism, Doug.
Speaker 1: That's all it is. Was just the mall being like, hey,
Speaker 1: we gotta get people to to have a reason to
Speaker 1: buy more stuff. See now, I don't want them to
Speaker 1: be part of the year. I don't want them to
Speaker 1: be black. I don't want them to be a tool
Speaker 1: of capitalism like that. That and that, honestly, was big
Speaker 1: takeaway from all of this was I kept thinking, stop
Speaker 1: telling little kids that Santa is black. What you need
Speaker 1: to tell them is that Santa is a white devil
Speaker 1: trying to trick niggas into buying stuff. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? This is, this is capital complain nothing
Speaker 1: about Come on, we we don't need black Santa. We
Speaker 1: that's the white man's evil at work right there. And
Speaker 1: they can keep that nasty pudding for themselves. Yeah. I bet,
Speaker 1: I bet Figgy putting a ship. But I can't believe
Speaker 1: we even gave you the time of day we were.
Speaker 1: We were teasing you. Put that in the mouth of
Speaker 1: a king. You can kiss my three cornered hat he
Speaker 1: put in is for peasants as far I want, I want,
Speaker 1: I want salmon. I was a good Yeah, so fun Santa.
Speaker 1: This is why this beat. It should sounds like Balentine's Day.
Speaker 1: So it got me thinking about basically because this continues.
Speaker 1: Right in eighteen forty one, thousands of children get invited
Speaker 1: to this Philadelphia's shop to see a life size Santa
Speaker 1: Claus model, and it was basically then put in the
Speaker 1: newspapers and became this very popular thing for people trying
Speaker 1: to bring big crowds to their stores and ship to
Speaker 1: bring in their own Santa Clauses and life size models
Speaker 1: and ship. And then in eighteen ninety the Salvation Army
Speaker 1: starts dressing up homeless people as Santa Claus and getting
Speaker 1: them to solicit for for money so that they could
Speaker 1: basically provide for more homeless people. That even a complicated rollout. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like, we can't find anybody to play Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: They're like, I know some guys. And then for a
Speaker 1: while children just think Santa Claus like smells like p
Speaker 1: and is mentally ill. That's not a great people are mentally.
Speaker 1: Maybe back then it was different. Yeah, maybe homeless people
Speaker 1: are just one one big hit away from from getting
Speaker 1: off them straights. Do you give to the Santa Claus
Speaker 1: on the street? Do you ever give more because of Christmas?
Speaker 1: I don't think I have. I think I give to
Speaker 1: specific I don't give to any now I'm joking. If
Speaker 1: I give, I try to give to specific individuals. I
Speaker 1: feel like the often an organization is involved, the less
Speaker 1: that money is able to stretch towards the people it's
Speaker 1: meant to stretch too, especially now via go fund me,
Speaker 1: Like you do have to have your like what's about
Speaker 1: you when you're on there, but you get it's like
Speaker 1: a lot easier to just like fix one person's Christmas. Then, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I try I I try to live under the
Speaker 1: rule that like, if somebody's asking and you have it,
Speaker 1: give it and don't think whites about like the story
Speaker 1: or what they're gonna do with none of that ship
Speaker 1: really matters. And like, frankly, I wasn't gonna do great
Speaker 1: ship within anyway, and so like, if I got it,
Speaker 1: you can have it, and I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: But once you start adding corporate ties to it, it
Speaker 1: starts to feel like, Okay, well you're paying somebody's salary
Speaker 1: and maybe people get pennies out of this and ship.
Speaker 1: You heard it here first, folks, Langston Kerman hates charity.
Speaker 1: I hate charity, and specifically the Salvation Army. Suck my dick.
Speaker 1: I don't salute your troops, not for one I I'm
Speaker 1: with you. But so they they're dressing up homeless people
Speaker 1: as or rather they're saying unemployed men, uh, Santa Claus,
Speaker 1: and then sending them into the streets of New York
Speaker 1: to solicit donations. And so the popularity grows and grows
Speaker 1: and grows until suddenly we are now putting Santa Claus
Speaker 1: on Coca Cola bottles and ship. So this is anything
Speaker 1: born of this kind of is bad. I'm not for it.
Speaker 1: Do more against Santa Claus than I was when we
Speaker 1: started this. You should be he truly is just a
Speaker 1: scam being run on us by rich people. Damn. Now
Speaker 1: where it gets fascinating, and I think this is some
Speaker 1: of what what we were excited to talk about in
Speaker 1: terms of other holiday traditions. As I did start looking
Speaker 1: up other sort of like depictions of Santa Claus or
Speaker 1: at Santa Claus like figure across the world. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: some fun ones. So in in Germany, in Switzerland there's
Speaker 1: a dude named Chris Kind. Chris Kind was an angel
Speaker 1: like figure, often accompanying St. Nicholas on his holiday missions
Speaker 1: to deliver presents to well behaved children. So the Swiss
Speaker 1: and Germans all believe in this Chris Kind angel sort
Speaker 1: of like backup singer that that rides with St. Nicholas
Speaker 1: to go do the rest of this ship. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm gonna have a deity. I don't want
Speaker 1: him to be the B team. Yeah, that's real. I
Speaker 1: don't understand why an angel is sort of like playing
Speaker 1: back up to Yeah. Also, don't you go God you
Speaker 1: to be doing? Yeah, you're you're a real unfocused angel,
Speaker 1: and I think I think God's gonna smite the when
Speaker 1: when he finds out with both hands. Chris kind of
Speaker 1: bad at this. So then in Scandinavia, a jolly elf
Speaker 1: named jul Tompton delivers gifts in a slave drawn by goats.
Speaker 1: He's he's got goats flying him through the air. I
Speaker 1: guess that is good too. The goats not like a
Speaker 1: majestic beast now and and frankly not a focus to
Speaker 1: one either. It doesn't know. Yeah, they're gonna stop for
Speaker 1: breaks and ship ships all over the place. It feels
Speaker 1: like a lot of kids are gonna end up without gifts.
Speaker 1: If his playing, what else do we go? So then
Speaker 1: in Italy there's a woman called La Befana who's supposed
Speaker 1: to be a kindly witch who rides a broomstick down
Speaker 1: the chimneys to deliver toys into stockings of lucky children.
Speaker 1: La Befana and she she gets it too. Lucky children
Speaker 1: almost like that better? Oh that just get it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I almost like take the morality out of it. It's
Speaker 1: a crap shoot. I'm playing dice, playing dice with these presents.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if I'm bad or good. I'm truly
Speaker 1: just praying it ain't snake guys exactly, because that one's
Speaker 1: easier on the parents. Do you have a broke year?
Speaker 1: You guys weren't lucky this year? Damn sucks. Damn. But
Speaker 1: we're gonna keep working on it. We'll write some letters
Speaker 1: and say, yeah, you know, maybe you'll get the next time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she might come. There's also Pierre Noel is French, and
Speaker 1: he puts stuff in kids shoes that that's his strategy.
Speaker 1: I guess it's like small little trinkets and and hummus
Speaker 1: is I don't know what he's putting in shoes like that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't get what his plan is there,
Speaker 1: but he puts it in the shoes. And then we
Speaker 1: get to my personal favor and now I imagine yours
Speaker 1: as well, which is which is my boy black Peter?
Speaker 1: That's just a guy I know. Oh is this the
Speaker 1: reason they wear a black face every year? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Now now we're getting to the front stuff. This is
Speaker 1: specifically a a Dutch navy weird No, I think it's
Speaker 1: like Netherlands type thing. Yeah. Netherlands, that's where children are
Speaker 1: taught to believe that they received their presence from St. Nicholas,
Speaker 1: who is accompanied by a black servant called Black Peter.
Speaker 1: Adults will often dress up as St. Nicholas and Black Peter,
Speaker 1: a white person painted in black face, and visit children
Speaker 1: and adults to uh. St Nicholas arrives from Spain in
Speaker 1: November by boat in Holland together with his black servants.
Speaker 1: So in Spain specifically, they're like, yeah, he comes by
Speaker 1: boat and he has a bunch of slaves with him,
Speaker 1: And then in the Netherlands they're like, yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: one real popular black slave. But he's straight up with like,
Speaker 1: is there any history? He's just a slave. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: just a slave. I looked it up. It's not they're not. Uh.
Speaker 1: He's not like a magical slave that does magical thing.
Speaker 1: This is a nigga with a job. Guys just like, well,
Speaker 1: here was my here's my big takeaway. And I don't
Speaker 1: know how this is gonna sit with sit with you
Speaker 1: in this but Black Peter and I I felt this way.
Speaker 1: I read all about him, and I felt like there's
Speaker 1: an argument to be made that Holland is the only
Speaker 1: place being completely honest about what Santa Claus actually is.
Speaker 1: No a slave holder. Oh yes, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like the same way that that that there's no way
Speaker 1: to make a billion dollars without like intentionally exploiting a
Speaker 1: workforce and a a massive amount of people. There's no
Speaker 1: way to make toys for children all around the world
Speaker 1: without similarly exploiting a work group, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean this is this is darker than just telling
Speaker 1: your kids there's no Santa clause. Yeah, you do better
Speaker 1: telling him that he's not real, not a yeah, not
Speaker 1: a Michael Fastbender type character, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: not a fucking monster. It sounds like the Lost Lost People, right,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no there's no place he came from.
Speaker 1: Pete doesn't know his origins. Yeah, Black Peter, he ain't.
Speaker 1: He ain't got nothing. There's no history there. They didn't
Speaker 1: even give him a last name. He just lives in
Speaker 1: a license servitude to St. Nicholas. Yeah, he just rides
Speaker 1: around with St. Nicholas, handing out gifts that that he
Speaker 1: doesn't really get credit for. It sounds like so I
Speaker 1: think if there's anything to learn from this episode is
Speaker 1: that the Dutch of monsters. Yeah. I but again, I
Speaker 1: think there's a point to be made that that maybe
Speaker 1: they're just being honest, right because you just said you
Speaker 1: want to let a kid be a kid. You know
Speaker 1: what he's not doing that tell him about slaves. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but if you but at least in this way, they
Speaker 1: get a moment of just being like, oh, black Peter,
Speaker 1: he's he's like a happy slave. The same way that like,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's good. He was racially gonna be like,
Speaker 1: thank god, my parents gave me a leg up by
Speaker 1: telling me about black Peter. I just think that it's
Speaker 1: a chance to get at least get your kids defending
Speaker 1: themselves from the evils of this world faster by being
Speaker 1: by being straight up honest. Santa Claus can't exist without slavery.
Speaker 1: And we live in America, we don't, or in Holland
Speaker 1: we white slaves. Are you out of your mind? You
Speaker 1: think we're gonna they we're gonna enslave white people. That's
Speaker 1: that's more fantastical than a man that delivers gives to
Speaker 1: every child, enslaving white nose. So we enslaved the black
Speaker 1: and his name is Peter. I love this. I don't
Speaker 1: love that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not promoting.
Speaker 1: It feels of all the you you were pulling that
Speaker 1: ship to the lucky Italian, which because she's not being honest.
Speaker 1: Why is why are they lucky? Is this truly a lottery?
Speaker 1: Or are they getting preferential treatment because they live in
Speaker 1: the neighborhood with the guy who pulls the cards? Oh? Man,
Speaker 1: this is this is I don't I don't listen. I
Speaker 1: want you guys to know I'm not for black Pete.
Speaker 1: I don't like I'm not for black Pete. Nor am
Speaker 1: I four mountain dude, Nor am I four a lot
Speaker 1: of the things that you keep accusing me of. I
Speaker 1: am merely saying that in a world where these things,
Speaker 1: we need to acknowledge their effectiveness. Oh man, I think
Speaker 1: you just wrote a manifesto. Yo. I think there are
Speaker 1: lessons to be learned from a black Pete. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? American? I gotta say I think
Speaker 1: that I'm I started this off. Black Peat makes me
Speaker 1: pro white Santa. Whoa black Peat makes me like, just
Speaker 1: give him the white fucking Santa? Then God damn it.
Speaker 1: But see, I think that that's what I think, that's
Speaker 1: that's making a mistake, because it's why do you want
Speaker 1: to put slavery in Christmas? It's in so many other things,
Speaker 1: because you're already telling me it's in Christmas. Before you
Speaker 1: learned or we talked about any of this black peat shit,
Speaker 1: you said that Santa had slaves. He has the fucking nails,
Speaker 1: And so America's just lying to us and going, look
Speaker 1: at these cute, little white, almost not human critters that
Speaker 1: are are Santa's quote unquote happy, pleasant workforce. And instead
Speaker 1: in Holland, they're like, look at that sad niggo over
Speaker 1: there having to help him delivering. Look at him deal
Speaker 1: with whatever the funk that is. And you now do
Speaker 1: do I think they've interpreted it right? No? I do not,
Speaker 1: But I do think at its core they're at least
Speaker 1: giving an honest lesson about what this day is. You
Speaker 1: gotta be you gotta be true to yourself. Man. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Man, this seems like a lot for children.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying, listen again, my daughter will not be raised.
Speaker 1: I want to be clear, Sad, we don't have a
Speaker 1: black pete on the top of our Christmas tree. You
Speaker 1: got Michael Jordan's eyes drop dropping off of hot wheels
Speaker 1: and getting back in his fucking Volkswagen Jetta. No, damn man,
Speaker 1: that's that's the worst Christmas ever. We're not gonna be
Speaker 1: promoting black Pete in this house. My daughter will not
Speaker 1: be raised knowing Black Pete as an option. But what
Speaker 1: I will say is that if you are a Dutch
Speaker 1: person who has lived under Black Pete's unfortunate rain for
Speaker 1: as long as as you have, it's fucked up. It's evil.
Speaker 1: Shame on you. But also kind of honest. I mean
Speaker 1: the term is brutal honesty. Right, Yeah, I'm not four
Speaker 1: black pets too. I feel like I honestly, you're like,
Speaker 1: you're like, this is all it's all made up. It's
Speaker 1: all made up Christmas, It's all made up. So now
Speaker 1: you want to choose honestly when it comes to putting
Speaker 1: racism and for slaves in there. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: any children, Yeah, I don't want any black kids to
Speaker 1: be like that was like my uncle. Well yeah, well
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I think and again the effect
Speaker 1: of this, I think that's why you put a black
Speaker 1: a white man in black face so that it doesn't
Speaker 1: look like anybody's uncle. It surely is just a a
Speaker 1: non a non non comparable fucking little character cut Sure,
Speaker 1: how do you say that word? I can't put my
Speaker 1: finger on it, but my heart knows this as evil. Yeah,
Speaker 1: those you're speaking right now, But I'm saying it's evil.
Speaker 1: I I acknowledge it's evil. I'm just saying evil and
Speaker 1: honesty are not always fully separate into these That's that's fair.
Speaker 1: That's fair. That well. I I did also look up.
Speaker 1: I know you clearly you don't funk with it, and
Speaker 1: you sort of acknowledge a bunch of this already. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to look up if there are any Santa
Speaker 1: Clause traditions in primarily African countries or Black countries, And
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like there is at all. Like it
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like a lot of Africans especially funk with
Speaker 1: Santa Claus at all. Now, I will say, y'all got
Speaker 1: Christmas because colonization and all the ship like you you're
Speaker 1: not exempt from Christmas. But you don't. Y'all just like
Speaker 1: go to church and get dinner and ship. It seems
Speaker 1: like a pretty reasonable day. I have all this magic
Speaker 1: call and breaking and entering in your house bringing the
Speaker 1: black slave along. Good Christmas, be happy for Jesus get
Speaker 1: a couple of presents were out. Yeah, be happy. Hey Jesus,
Speaker 1: you made it. That's very appreciate. You didn't live very long,
Speaker 1: but but you did. You did get here, and that's cool,
Speaker 1: and you live very long. You also had like thirteen
Speaker 1: missing years or something, right, Yeah, you know you did
Speaker 1: some funked up ship that Uh that old Joseph and
Speaker 1: Mary had to get wiped off the record, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, you have to get fresh. Prince
Speaker 1: of bel Aired for a minute, come right, he had
Speaker 1: one little fight and your mom got scared. And that
Speaker 1: story is probably a little deeper than you've made it seem.
Speaker 1: Uh you know what I mean. Well, I think a
Speaker 1: little more happened that day than just a ball bounced
Speaker 1: off a man's head and suddenly you had to move
Speaker 1: to bel Air. Let's be honest. You had you had
Speaker 1: a history with that gentleman. I think you killed the guy.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I I don't think that, uh that that
Speaker 1: Many African countries seem to give a funk about Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: In particular, it seems like there is a a already
Speaker 1: sort of like pre cooked awareness that this is just
Speaker 1: consumerism at it's at at play here that that Santa
Speaker 1: Claus don't got nothing to do with that. It developed
Speaker 1: completely out side of that part of the world. Right,
Speaker 1: I want to know what South Americans are doing. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't actually know. I don't think they funk with
Speaker 1: that ship either. Oh, I feel like that's tough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: tell me where. I've never known South Americans or even
Speaker 1: Mexican I never really know. As far as in my life,
Speaker 1: I've never really known them. It seems like the funk
Speaker 1: with that ship either. Yeah, Olivia is typing noche Buena,
Speaker 1: which is the good Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, But
Speaker 1: that are you suggesting that, Oh, it's celebrating more Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve than it is even Christmas Days. But there's no
Speaker 1: like there's no like man who comes to your home.
Speaker 1: There's no like Mexican Santa Claus. I guess it's the
Speaker 1: big question. See, I didn't think so I didn't, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm telling So that means so then you look
Speaker 1: at the world as a whole, right, South America, Central
Speaker 1: America doesn't with it, Africa doesn't funk with it, The
Speaker 1: Middle East doesn't funk with it. Asia, as far as
Speaker 1: I understand, it's not funk with it. I guess Turkey Eurasia.
Speaker 1: So this is a purely European sentiment. Yeah, and and
Speaker 1: Turkey doesn't really funk with it. They did funk with it,
Speaker 1: and then it got washed into some other people's ship
Speaker 1: and now they're like, man, whatever. So that means this
Speaker 1: is just like a figment of the Dutch imagination. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's white. It's white trickery at its moment, its finest.
Speaker 1: This is at the highest level. Nobody else gives a
Speaker 1: funk about that ship. Man. I'm back off, I'm back off.
Speaker 1: I'm back off. Santa Claus sounds like you're back on
Speaker 1: the black Peat train. Let's go. No no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no no no no no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no do oh. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. I knew that I didn't
Speaker 1: like this. I knew this coming in. I didn't like this. Well,
Speaker 1: I think we solved it. I do. I do think
Speaker 1: we we nailed this episode at it's cored. Sounds like
Speaker 1: Santa Clauses is truly just some made up white people's
Speaker 1: ship to mostly trick us into spending more money than
Speaker 1: we have. I think we did it. I feel so
Speaker 1: Black people stop to stop buying into a black Santa.
Speaker 1: That's just a long con to make you personally invested
Speaker 1: in your own your own destruction. And white people, keep
Speaker 1: up the good work. You're nailing it. We're we're all
Speaker 1: really proud of you, and you have nothing to regret. Surely,
Speaker 1: surely white Jesus will celebrate you and kiss you on
Speaker 1: your forehead when you make it up to a white heaven. Wait,
Speaker 1: tell everybody where they can find you, like the logical closing,
Speaker 1: you can find me a cool guy jokes eighties seven
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I post all this stuff I'm doing there,
Speaker 1: and you know, just keep coming out to see me.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. It's nice to see you in prison.
Speaker 1: And uh, you know, black Pete, black Pete funk the
Speaker 1: institution that's fawn. Black Pete, black pet is just a
Speaker 1: man working hard, and I don't want to be against it.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, you can follow me at Langston kermanow
Speaker 1: dot black Pete. Do you even follow me on like
Speaker 1: on all platforms? Gee, Lonny, stay out of my goddamn emails.
Speaker 1: And as always, if you want to send us your drops,
Speaker 1: your conspiracy theories, your suggestions of what we should do
Speaker 1: with Black Pete in Santa Claus and personally, I do
Speaker 1: believe that I bories against it, but I believe that
Speaker 1: Black Pete deserves sex too, So I'm not sure what
Speaker 1: what happened where He's like Black Pete should go sexless
Speaker 1: and id and save for the rest of his life.
Speaker 1: But if you want to fund Black Pete, please is that.
Speaker 1: But if you want to send us your conspiracy, send
Speaker 1: them to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. We
Speaker 1: would love to hear from you, and happy holidays. Bye bitch,
Speaker 1: Black pe We're back. You thought we were gone, but
Speaker 1: we're back, bitch, and we've got something exciting to tell you,
Speaker 1: very exciting stuff to to let you know about. Big news.
Speaker 1: First big news on the table starting December, right December.
Speaker 1: We're on YouTube. You asked for it, you animals, and
Speaker 1: we're giving it to you. You filthy pigs, You filth
Speaker 1: fucking pigs. Full episodes of my Mama told Me streaming
Speaker 1: on YouTube. You can watch legs to laugh. Me licked
Speaker 1: my lips because I don't know what's going on. I'm
Speaker 1: worried that I'm in some dry lid phase. I mean
Speaker 1: using chap six and stop going good. Oh no, you're
Speaker 1: in your dry era. But but guess what, guess what
Speaker 1: We're wet with content, baby, because because it's all on YouTube,
Speaker 1: it's available for you to view. You've been asking about it,
Speaker 1: and there it is. And even more exciting, this is
Speaker 1: another little, another little scrumptious thing that we get to
Speaker 1: offer you is we are doing a live show. Finally
Speaker 1: we are. David and I are are finally gonna be
Speaker 1: live in front of our our our eights and and
Speaker 1: maybe even tens of fans, doing a live episode of
Speaker 1: My Mama told me. It's going to be at the
Speaker 1: Allegian Theater here in Los Angeles on on February sixte
Speaker 1: We're really excited. We would love for you to be there.
Speaker 1: The tickets, the information is all going to be linked
Speaker 1: here on the YouTube that we promised is now available.
Speaker 1: So so click the goddamn link, your idiot. We did
Speaker 1: all this work. You better click it, and you better
Speaker 1: show up. Maltop bitch, Croup chips in your qualibas are
Speaker 1: racist host layers, mostly money Martney stuff. I can't tell
Speaker 1: me