WEBVTT - F*ck Black Pete (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie) 0:00:02.360 --> 0:00:07.040 Yeah. I mean they also made blood pudding like the British, 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:10.119 and they're they're tastes and stuff. Yeah, now they do 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:14.960 weird stuff man. Yeah, I'm not especially to have been 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:17.919 in charge, do you know what I mean? Like they 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:22.360 like you suck? How are you running it? That's yeah, 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:25.520 y'all eat like the slaves, and that don't make sense. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:30.360 Like black people are truth, you're not black people had 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:34.479 had to take the scraps. Why are you choosing the 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:39.080 fucking scraps? You started out with blood sausage. Yeah, it's 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:43.000 it's fucking weird, man. Come on, you could just the regular, 0:00:43.280 --> 0:01:02.920 not bloody sausages. Chips in your hands. Man's racist as 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:13.120 money actually stuff I can't tell me. Give you me 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:17.400 a good home rep. Yeah, we're back, but that's a 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.959 perfect way to come back. We're back here for part 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:27.640 two of My mama told me. It's holiday special extravaganza. Extravaganza. 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:33.560 There's there's goddamn streamers strong all around us, and I 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.319 don't know what you do. Yeah, bring us some figgy pudding. 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.679 Bit of figgy pudding? Have you had figgy pudding? No? 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:43.240 I don't know what it is. I don't either. Context 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.200 of that song. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds pretty good. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.760 It sounds like some shing I would brown. I like 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.680 banana pudding, and I like Fick Newton's. So if it's 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.680 anywhere like some kind of weird mixed breed of that, 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.080 I would work with this. That would be crazy. That 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:03.240 would be crazy, right, Yeah, what if? What if? The 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.280 reason we've never had figgy pudding is because it's so 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.440 good that they had to, like truly like wipe it 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:13.200 off the map. They had it out. Yeah, they were like, 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.839 this is out of control, delicious, and it's making it's 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.880 tearing families apart. Types. That's interesting because not a lot 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.919 of foods die like that. Right, No, but I bet 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.720 just died. I bet. We don't know why, you know. 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:30.280 For a reason Olivia is saying figgy pudding is a 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.240 pudding in the British sense of the word, which means 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:39.320 it is a steamed cake like dessert. Wait it's a cake. Yeah, 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.760 it sounds they're so dumb about food, can we man? 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:46.280 The British need to kill yourself stop eating food? Maybe 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:50.240 because you're bad at it? Oh beans for breakfast, I'll 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:54.120 kill you. We're getting more information here. This particular Christmas 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:58.799 version is traditionally made with sweat. Sweat which is raw 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:04.960 beef or mutton fat, eggs, brown sugar, breadcrumbs, spices, dried fruits, 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:08.960 and last, but certainly not least, brandy. British had bad 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:11.160 taste and food is what Olivia, I don't know when 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:13.200 you say all those things together, I'm not mad at 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.720 it again. I was. I didn't like the raw beef 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.720 or mutton fat, and then I started liking it as 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:28.160 we went along, which we know for a fact is 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:31.040 a sponsor of the episode. Thank you. That's that's that's 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:34.079 that's from. We are brought to you by the Ark 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:38.800 and the Jerk Juice. I don't know where you're from, 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:47.360 Ernest and Jamal. I think you come from the Ernestine. 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:50.720 You stayed with the Jamal Jal. But no, I'm gonna 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.600 kick us off a little more into some of this research. 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:57.680 But I think we should also open this up. You 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.360 talked about this over the break that that we should 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.720 probably open this conversation up to a lot of holiday 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:07.600 traditions that sort of deal in I think just race 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:13.120 and community and people's behaviors, if you will. Yeah, I 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.919 like that because racially people are weird on Christmas? Like 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:21.200 there's all kinds of right. Yeah, a lot of people 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.839 are doing some odd ship in in celebration of a 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:27.280 thing that we feel like it is a little more 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.080 standardized than they're treating it. Yeah. I don't even know 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:33.359 of uniform what is? Okay? Wait, anyway, I want to 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:37.080 know do you have information on did he die around Christmas? 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:41.880 So when he died? He died on December six? That 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:46.400 was the original sort of like death day today. Yeah, 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.880 he died, he died today. That's a wow, that's beautiful. 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:52.880 Here we are recording December six, and this is the 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:57.920 day St. Nicholas died. Yeah, then why don't you drop 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:02.080 something from my man St. Nicholas to let him? Yeah? 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:04.920 I would do better than that, but that was pretty good. 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:07.800 Let's see what else happens. Okay, okay, now give us 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.400 no you can do better. I can't do better than that. 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:14.640 All right, this goes out to you. St. Nicholas. Sound 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:18.800 me close? How did you say it? Uh? Center clouds? 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:30.320 See if their clouds. Something's trying to smell your dick 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:40.720 and having dog one time for for center clouds. Okay, 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:43.280 So wait, so when all these Dutch people had this 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:47.320 party that was December six. Yeah, they were going out 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:51.560 in parties December six every time. And then in eighteen 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.720 o nine, this dude Washington Irving basically helped to popularize 0:05:55.720 --> 0:06:00.279 center clouds stories. No, although you're what you're thinking of 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:04.200 is is my boy Clement Clark Moore who wrote to 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:08.400 us the night before Christmas in eighteen twenty two, which 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.520 ultimately ends up giving us the current iteration of Santa Claus, 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:16.200 the chubby, sort of jolly fat riding around on reindeer, 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.760 climbing up chimneys, Santa Claus. But but this dude Washington 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:24.599 Irvin eight No. Nine basically starts describing Center Clause. But 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:28.640 he's describing him originally as like a rascal with a 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:33.960 blue cornered, three cornered hat, red waistcoat and yellow stockings. 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.640 See I like that a little better. I don't know why, 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:40.120 but it sounds like, yeah, he's tacky. He's got my 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:43.240 three cornered hat on. I can't tell me I'm not 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:49.040 a two cornered hat bitch said something. I'm sorry that 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:53.000 my man's a rascal. He's sticking, he's sticking thumbs up 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:56.520 people's butts, yellow tights on you didn't tell me ship. 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:02.840 What's he gonna do about it? Motherfucker? He ain't Nicholas too. 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:09.360 I can't remember the name already. Center center clous center clouds. Yeah, 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:13.480 you're you're sucking up again. I'm sure my holiday too. 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:17.640 So so what was he doing when he was a rascal? 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.400 I like that better. So I don't I there weren't 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:23.320 really like super specific about the rascal of it all. 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:25.280 But it just doesn't sound like a dude who's like 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:29.360 walking around as much like giving away gifts as he 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.200 is like a little more elfish, if that makes sense. 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:37.720 See that's fun. I would rather be like Christmas time pranks, Yeah, 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.920 the twelve Pranks of Christmas or something. You know, it's 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.680 we're in the writer's room. But yeah, he puts like 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:46.600 a he like gives you a wet willie and then 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:51.640 afterwards he's like, I got you something. No, I love 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:58.040 cool guy. Come on, give me a kiss, Come on 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:13.520 it maybe on this hat. He shows up with the 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:15.840 hat around his waist and he's like, oh, the hats 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:25.280 down here, now go ahead and kiss around it. Yeah, 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.520 so he was more of a fun guy with a 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:32.240 blue hat before before old Clement Clark Moore gets involved, 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.960 which was the Night Before Christmas, which is the poem 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.880 that tells us that he's this big, fat dude and 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.240 before then he's like a Turkish silly billy. He also 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.200 introduced like the reindeer and stuff too. Right, Yeah, he 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:48.199 introduced the reindeer. He introduced the chimney climbing all that stuff. 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.400 That was a big shot, like from a man, like 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:56.720 you know, it really was. And and frankly, it feels 0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:01.240 like almost like how Dracula is is now our depiction 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.559 of vampires in a way, you know what I mean, 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.600 where it's like definitely. One dude was like, yeah, they 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:10.520 all got those Eddie Munster haircuts, and yeah, we're all 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:14.480 shoulder pads and the high collar and yeah, like oh 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:16.840 that's what they look like. Yo. Does he get his 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:20.480 credit for inventing Santa? I don't think so. I've never 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:25.360 shouted him out. I never heard. I've never been one 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.720 time for my boy old On we could do it, though, 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.160 give give shout out my boy one time for my 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:34.720 boy Clement Clark more from twas the Night before Christmas. 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:39.400 We love you, hell yeah, we we honor you on 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:43.840 this day St. Nicholas's death day as well, because you 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:47.720 you made him look less Asian than he was before 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.600 you took and somehow made him fat, which I don't 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:52.360 think there was as many fat guys back then. So 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.560 that was a defining trait. Yeah, you went out of 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:57.479 your way to be like this dude eats like a motherfucker, 0:09:57.760 --> 0:09:59.880 and then gave him and then gave him rain d 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:04.720 which aren't indigenous to the United States. Nah was it? 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:08.360 Was it an American guy who wrote that, I believe so. Yeah, 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.400 so he was that's the real crazy. Well, remember Santa 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.800 I think he Santa lived in the North Pole, so 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:17.880 he imagined what the North Pole animals would be, which 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.240 was oh wait, he already lived in the North Pole 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.800 when he was like when he was a Turkish rascal. 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:26.160 I think by the time that my boy Clement gets involved, 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:30.200 he is a North Pole resident. Oh that's not I 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:33.040 think Clement it may have in fact, been one of 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:38.400 the people that introduced that concept. That's that's what all 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:41.160 of this is. It's like Clement really shaped all of 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.600 what we now understand to be Santa Claus lore. Okay, 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.720 that makes sense, I can, okay, Okay. So he took 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.600 a lot of big swings and and made made some hits. 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:55.240 He really no, it's not a black man at all. 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.400 He In fact, I looked him up and I've never 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:02.080 seen a whier man before in my life. Truly look 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.960 like somebody tried to draw Thomas Jefferson by heart, you 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:20.920 know what I mean. It then becomes even more popular 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:25.720 because store start to advertise Christmas shopping in eighteen twenty. 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:29.320 By the eighteen forties, newspapers were creating separate sections for 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:34.199 holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly popular 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:38.280 Santa Clause of the of Clement's version of Santa Claus. 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:43.439 So this went completely It's just propaganda. It's commercialism, Doug. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.480 That's all it is. Was just the mall being like, hey, 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.320 we gotta get people to to have a reason to 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.120 buy more stuff. See now, I don't want them to 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.360 be part of the year. I don't want them to 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:56.640 be black. I don't want them to be a tool 0:11:56.720 --> 0:12:00.440 of capitalism like that. That and that, honestly, was big 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:04.600 takeaway from all of this was I kept thinking, stop 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.840 telling little kids that Santa is black. What you need 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.640 to tell them is that Santa is a white devil 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.240 trying to trick niggas into buying stuff. Do you know 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:18.880 what I mean? This is, this is capital complain nothing 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.720 about Come on, we we don't need black Santa. We 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.960 that's the white man's evil at work right there. And 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:30.760 they can keep that nasty pudding for themselves. Yeah. I bet, 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.720 I bet Figgy putting a ship. But I can't believe 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.439 we even gave you the time of day we were. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.200 We were teasing you. Put that in the mouth of 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:44.240 a king. You can kiss my three cornered hat he 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:48.120 put in is for peasants as far I want, I want, 0:12:48.120 --> 0:13:01.840 I want salmon. I was a good Yeah, so fun Santa. 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.160 This is why this beat. It should sounds like Balentine's Day. 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:09.439 So it got me thinking about basically because this continues. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.760 Right in eighteen forty one, thousands of children get invited 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.960 to this Philadelphia's shop to see a life size Santa 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:19.400 Claus model, and it was basically then put in the 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:23.240 newspapers and became this very popular thing for people trying 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.680 to bring big crowds to their stores and ship to 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.320 bring in their own Santa Clauses and life size models 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:34.840 and ship. And then in eighteen ninety the Salvation Army 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:40.280 starts dressing up homeless people as Santa Claus and getting 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:44.360 them to solicit for for money so that they could 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:53.680 basically provide for more homeless people. That even a complicated rollout. Yeah, 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:57.240 they're like, we can't find anybody to play Santa Claus. 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.600 They're like, I know some guys. And then for a 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:01.959 while children just think Santa Claus like smells like p 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:09.440 and is mentally ill. That's not a great people are mentally. 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.679 Maybe back then it was different. Yeah, maybe homeless people 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.800 are just one one big hit away from from getting 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:21.160 off them straights. Do you give to the Santa Claus 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.480 on the street? Do you ever give more because of Christmas? 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.000 I don't think I have. I think I give to 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:30.800 specific I don't give to any now I'm joking. If 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:34.800 I give, I try to give to specific individuals. I 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:39.360 feel like the often an organization is involved, the less 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.040 that money is able to stretch towards the people it's 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:44.920 meant to stretch too, especially now via go fund me, 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:46.760 Like you do have to have your like what's about 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.160 you when you're on there, but you get it's like 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:52.480 a lot easier to just like fix one person's Christmas. Then, Yeah, 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:54.800 and I try I I try to live under the 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:58.200 rule that like, if somebody's asking and you have it, 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.720 give it and don't think whites about like the story 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.440 or what they're gonna do with none of that ship 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.200 really matters. And like, frankly, I wasn't gonna do great 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.480 ship within anyway, and so like, if I got it, 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.440 you can have it, and I don't give a fuck. 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.640 But once you start adding corporate ties to it, it 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:20.840 starts to feel like, Okay, well you're paying somebody's salary 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.400 and maybe people get pennies out of this and ship. 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:27.280 You heard it here first, folks, Langston Kerman hates charity. 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:31.000 I hate charity, and specifically the Salvation Army. Suck my dick. 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:40.360 I don't salute your troops, not for one I I'm 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:44.280 with you. But so they they're dressing up homeless people 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:48.960 as or rather they're saying unemployed men, uh, Santa Claus, 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.080 and then sending them into the streets of New York 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:54.680 to solicit donations. And so the popularity grows and grows 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.400 and grows until suddenly we are now putting Santa Claus 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:03.200 on Coca Cola bottles and ship. So this is anything 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:08.080 born of this kind of is bad. I'm not for it. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.840 Do more against Santa Claus than I was when we 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:15.080 started this. You should be he truly is just a 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:19.840 scam being run on us by rich people. Damn. Now 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.280 where it gets fascinating, and I think this is some 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.800 of what what we were excited to talk about in 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:28.240 terms of other holiday traditions. As I did start looking 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:32.720 up other sort of like depictions of Santa Claus or 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:37.480 at Santa Claus like figure across the world. Yeah, there's 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:42.920 some fun ones. So in in Germany, in Switzerland there's 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:47.960 a dude named Chris Kind. Chris Kind was an angel 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:51.960 like figure, often accompanying St. Nicholas on his holiday missions 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:56.280 to deliver presents to well behaved children. So the Swiss 0:16:56.400 --> 0:17:00.760 and Germans all believe in this Chris Kind angel sort 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:04.560 of like backup singer that that rides with St. Nicholas 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:07.280 to go do the rest of this ship. I don't 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:08.959 know if I'm gonna have a deity. I don't want 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.679 him to be the B team. Yeah, that's real. I 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.320 don't understand why an angel is sort of like playing 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.760 back up to Yeah. Also, don't you go God you 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:21.320 to be doing? Yeah, you're you're a real unfocused angel, 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.359 and I think I think God's gonna smite the when 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.439 when he finds out with both hands. Chris kind of 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:34.160 bad at this. So then in Scandinavia, a jolly elf 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:40.560 named jul Tompton delivers gifts in a slave drawn by goats. 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.639 He's he's got goats flying him through the air. I 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:50.439 guess that is good too. The goats not like a 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:54.840 majestic beast now and and frankly not a focus to 0:17:54.880 --> 0:18:00.359 one either. It doesn't know. Yeah, they're gonna stop for 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.439 breaks and ship ships all over the place. It feels 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:06.560 like a lot of kids are gonna end up without gifts. 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:12.080 If his playing, what else do we go? So then 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:17.320 in Italy there's a woman called La Befana who's supposed 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.000 to be a kindly witch who rides a broomstick down 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:24.240 the chimneys to deliver toys into stockings of lucky children. 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:28.600 La Befana and she she gets it too. Lucky children 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:33.320 almost like that better? Oh that just get it? Yeah, 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:35.640 I almost like take the morality out of it. It's 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:40.359 a crap shoot. I'm playing dice, playing dice with these presents. 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.879 It doesn't matter if I'm bad or good. I'm truly 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:48.680 just praying it ain't snake guys exactly, because that one's 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:50.840 easier on the parents. Do you have a broke year? 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:54.879 You guys weren't lucky this year? Damn sucks. Damn. But 0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:57.199 we're gonna keep working on it. We'll write some letters 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.920 and say, yeah, you know, maybe you'll get the next time. Yeah, 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:06.280 she might come. There's also Pierre Noel is French, and 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:11.240 he puts stuff in kids shoes that that's his strategy. 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.840 I guess it's like small little trinkets and and hummus 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:21.120 is I don't know what he's putting in shoes like that? Yeah, 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.480 I don't. I don't get what his plan is there, 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.000 but he puts it in the shoes. And then we 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.479 get to my personal favor and now I imagine yours 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:31.119 as well, which is which is my boy black Peter? 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:36.679 That's just a guy I know. Oh is this the 0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:39.640 reason they wear a black face every year? Yeah? Yeah, 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:44.119 Now now we're getting to the front stuff. This is 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:50.720 specifically a a Dutch navy weird No, I think it's 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:56.320 like Netherlands type thing. Yeah. Netherlands, that's where children are 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:59.959 taught to believe that they received their presence from St. Nicholas, 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:04.760 who is accompanied by a black servant called Black Peter. 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:08.880 Adults will often dress up as St. Nicholas and Black Peter, 0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:12.320 a white person painted in black face, and visit children 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:17.000 and adults to uh. St Nicholas arrives from Spain in 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:20.359 November by boat in Holland together with his black servants. 0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:23.399 So in Spain specifically, they're like, yeah, he comes by 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:25.600 boat and he has a bunch of slaves with him, 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:28.040 And then in the Netherlands they're like, yeah, it's just 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:31.919 one real popular black slave. But he's straight up with like, 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:35.000 is there any history? He's just a slave. Yeah, he's 0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:38.679 just a slave. I looked it up. It's not they're not. Uh. 0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:42.240 He's not like a magical slave that does magical thing. 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:53.440 This is a nigga with a job. Guys just like, well, 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:55.760 here was my here's my big takeaway. And I don't 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:57.840 know how this is gonna sit with sit with you 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:01.600 in this but Black Peter and I I felt this way. 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.080 I read all about him, and I felt like there's 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.320 an argument to be made that Holland is the only 0:21:07.400 --> 0:21:11.639 place being completely honest about what Santa Claus actually is. 0:21:13.359 --> 0:21:18.080 No a slave holder. Oh yes, you know what I mean, 0:21:18.240 --> 0:21:21.960 Like the same way that that that there's no way 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:26.560 to make a billion dollars without like intentionally exploiting a 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:30.959 workforce and a a massive amount of people. There's no 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:34.960 way to make toys for children all around the world 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:39.760 without similarly exploiting a work group, you know what I mean. Yeah, 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.520 I mean this is this is darker than just telling 0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:48.120 your kids there's no Santa clause. Yeah, you do better 0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:54.600 telling him that he's not real, not a yeah, not 0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:58.280 a Michael Fastbender type character, you know what I mean, 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:02.200 not a fucking monster. It sounds like the Lost Lost People, right, 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:04.360 there's no there's no there's no place he came from. 0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.440 Pete doesn't know his origins. Yeah, Black Peter, he ain't. 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:10.680 He ain't got nothing. There's no history there. They didn't 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:12.840 even give him a last name. He just lives in 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:16.520 a license servitude to St. Nicholas. Yeah, he just rides 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:19.520 around with St. Nicholas, handing out gifts that that he 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:22.639 doesn't really get credit for. It sounds like so I 0:22:22.680 --> 0:22:25.359 think if there's anything to learn from this episode is 0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:29.560 that the Dutch of monsters. Yeah. I but again, I 0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:32.240 think there's a point to be made that that maybe 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:36.159 they're just being honest, right because you just said you 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:37.879 want to let a kid be a kid. You know 0:22:37.920 --> 0:22:41.800 what he's not doing that tell him about slaves. Yeah, 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:44.240 but if you but at least in this way, they 0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:48.800 get a moment of just being like, oh, black Peter, 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:51.880 he's he's like a happy slave. The same way that like, 0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:58.280 I don't think that's good. He was racially gonna be like, 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:00.840 thank god, my parents gave me a leg up by 0:23:00.880 --> 0:23:03.760 telling me about black Peter. I just think that it's 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:06.680 a chance to get at least get your kids defending 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.399 themselves from the evils of this world faster by being 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:15.640 by being straight up honest. Santa Claus can't exist without slavery. 0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:19.040 And we live in America, we don't, or in Holland 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:23.359 we white slaves. Are you out of your mind? You 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:29.480 think we're gonna they we're gonna enslave white people. That's 0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:32.600 that's more fantastical than a man that delivers gives to 0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:38.080 every child, enslaving white nose. So we enslaved the black 0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:41.920 and his name is Peter. I love this. I don't 0:23:41.920 --> 0:23:44.119 love that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not promoting. 0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:49.159 It feels of all the you you were pulling that 0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:57.800 ship to the lucky Italian, which because she's not being honest. 0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:02.880 Why is why are they lucky? Is this truly a lottery? 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:05.560 Or are they getting preferential treatment because they live in 0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:09.120 the neighborhood with the guy who pulls the cards? Oh? Man, 0:24:09.600 --> 0:24:11.679 this is this is I don't I don't listen. I 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:14.080 want you guys to know I'm not for black Pete. 0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:18.040 I don't like I'm not for black Pete. Nor am 0:24:18.040 --> 0:24:21.680 I four mountain dude, Nor am I four a lot 0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:24.600 of the things that you keep accusing me of. I 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:29.200 am merely saying that in a world where these things, 0:24:29.800 --> 0:24:36.200 we need to acknowledge their effectiveness. Oh man, I think 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:51.680 you just wrote a manifesto. Yo. I think there are 0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:55.919 lessons to be learned from a black Pete. Do you 0:24:55.920 --> 0:24:59.080 know what I'm saying? American? I gotta say I think 0:24:59.119 --> 0:25:02.800 that I'm I started this off. Black Peat makes me 0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:08.280 pro white Santa. Whoa black Peat makes me like, just 0:25:08.359 --> 0:25:11.440 give him the white fucking Santa? Then God damn it. 0:25:12.200 --> 0:25:14.840 But see, I think that that's what I think, that's 0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:17.360 that's making a mistake, because it's why do you want 0:25:17.359 --> 0:25:20.920 to put slavery in Christmas? It's in so many other things, 0:25:20.960 --> 0:25:24.199 because you're already telling me it's in Christmas. Before you 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:27.200 learned or we talked about any of this black peat shit, 0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:31.919 you said that Santa had slaves. He has the fucking nails, 0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:35.520 And so America's just lying to us and going, look 0:25:35.560 --> 0:25:40.880 at these cute, little white, almost not human critters that 0:25:40.920 --> 0:25:45.480 are are Santa's quote unquote happy, pleasant workforce. And instead 0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:48.400 in Holland, they're like, look at that sad niggo over 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:52.920 there having to help him delivering. Look at him deal 0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:56.520 with whatever the funk that is. And you now do 0:25:56.520 --> 0:25:59.480 do I think they've interpreted it right? No? I do not, 0:25:59.800 --> 0:26:02.800 But I do think at its core they're at least 0:26:02.800 --> 0:26:12.440 giving an honest lesson about what this day is. You 0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:16.440 gotta be you gotta be true to yourself. Man. I 0:26:16.520 --> 0:26:19.200 don't know. Man, this seems like a lot for children. 0:26:19.720 --> 0:26:23.280 I'm not saying, listen again, my daughter will not be raised. 0:26:23.320 --> 0:26:29.879 I want to be clear, Sad, we don't have a 0:26:30.040 --> 0:26:33.159 black pete on the top of our Christmas tree. You 0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:46.360 got Michael Jordan's eyes drop dropping off of hot wheels 0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:56.880 and getting back in his fucking Volkswagen Jetta. No, damn man, 0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:59.960 that's that's the worst Christmas ever. We're not gonna be 0:27:00.119 --> 0:27:02.560 promoting black Pete in this house. My daughter will not 0:27:02.680 --> 0:27:06.720 be raised knowing Black Pete as an option. But what 0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:10.800 I will say is that if you are a Dutch 0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:15.840 person who has lived under Black Pete's unfortunate rain for 0:27:15.880 --> 0:27:19.639 as long as as you have, it's fucked up. It's evil. 0:27:19.800 --> 0:27:24.840