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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean they also made blood pudding like the British,

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Speaker 1: and they're they're tastes and stuff. Yeah, now they do

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Speaker 1: weird stuff man. Yeah, I'm not especially to have been

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Speaker 1: in charge, do you know what I mean? Like they

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Speaker 1: like you suck? How are you running it? That's yeah,

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Speaker 1: y'all eat like the slaves, and that don't make sense.

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Speaker 1: Like black people are truth, you're not black people had

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Speaker 1: had to take the scraps. Why are you choosing the

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Speaker 1: fucking scraps? You started out with blood sausage. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: it's fucking weird, man. Come on, you could just the regular,

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Speaker 1: not bloody sausages. Chips in your hands. Man's racist as

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Speaker 1: money actually stuff I can't tell me. Give you me

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Speaker 1: a good home rep. Yeah, we're back, but that's a

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Speaker 1: perfect way to come back. We're back here for part

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Speaker 1: two of My mama told me. It's holiday special extravaganza. Extravaganza.

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Speaker 1: There's there's goddamn streamers strong all around us, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know what you do. Yeah, bring us some figgy pudding.

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Speaker 1: Bit of figgy pudding? Have you had figgy pudding? No?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I don't either. Context

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Speaker 1: of that song. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds pretty good.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like some shing I would brown. I like

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Speaker 1: banana pudding, and I like Fick Newton's. So if it's

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Speaker 1: anywhere like some kind of weird mixed breed of that,

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Speaker 1: I would work with this. That would be crazy. That

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Speaker 1: would be crazy, right, Yeah, what if? What if? The

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Speaker 1: reason we've never had figgy pudding is because it's so

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Speaker 1: good that they had to, like truly like wipe it

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Speaker 1: off the map. They had it out. Yeah, they were like,

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Speaker 1: this is out of control, delicious, and it's making it's

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Speaker 1: tearing families apart. Types. That's interesting because not a lot

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Speaker 1: of foods die like that. Right, No, but I bet

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Speaker 1: just died. I bet. We don't know why, you know.

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Speaker 1: For a reason Olivia is saying figgy pudding is a

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Speaker 1: pudding in the British sense of the word, which means

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Speaker 1: it is a steamed cake like dessert. Wait it's a cake. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it sounds they're so dumb about food, can we man?

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Speaker 1: The British need to kill yourself stop eating food? Maybe

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Speaker 1: because you're bad at it? Oh beans for breakfast, I'll

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Speaker 1: kill you. We're getting more information here. This particular Christmas

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Speaker 1: version is traditionally made with sweat. Sweat which is raw

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Speaker 1: beef or mutton fat, eggs, brown sugar, breadcrumbs, spices, dried fruits,

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Speaker 1: and last, but certainly not least, brandy. British had bad

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Speaker 1: taste and food is what Olivia, I don't know when

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Speaker 1: you say all those things together, I'm not mad at

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Speaker 1: it again. I was. I didn't like the raw beef

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Speaker 1: or mutton fat, and then I started liking it as

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Speaker 1: we went along, which we know for a fact is

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Speaker 1: a sponsor of the episode. Thank you. That's that's that's

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Speaker 1: that's from. We are brought to you by the Ark

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Speaker 1: and the Jerk Juice. I don't know where you're from,

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Speaker 1: Ernest and Jamal. I think you come from the Ernestine.

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Speaker 1: You stayed with the Jamal Jal. But no, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: kick us off a little more into some of this research.

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Speaker 1: But I think we should also open this up. You

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Speaker 1: talked about this over the break that that we should

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Speaker 1: probably open this conversation up to a lot of holiday

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Speaker 1: traditions that sort of deal in I think just race

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Speaker 1: and community and people's behaviors, if you will. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: like that because racially people are weird on Christmas? Like

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Speaker 1: there's all kinds of right. Yeah, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: are doing some odd ship in in celebration of a

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Speaker 1: thing that we feel like it is a little more

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Speaker 1: standardized than they're treating it. Yeah. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: of uniform what is? Okay? Wait, anyway, I want to

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Speaker 1: know do you have information on did he die around Christmas?

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Speaker 1: So when he died? He died on December six? That

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Speaker 1: was the original sort of like death day today. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he died, he died today. That's a wow, that's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Here we are recording December six, and this is the

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Speaker 1: day St. Nicholas died. Yeah, then why don't you drop

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Speaker 1: something from my man St. Nicholas to let him? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I would do better than that, but that was pretty good.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what else happens. Okay, okay, now give us

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Speaker 1: no you can do better. I can't do better than that.

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Speaker 1: All right, this goes out to you. St. Nicholas. Sound

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Speaker 1: me close? How did you say it? Uh? Center clouds?

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Speaker 1: See if their clouds. Something's trying to smell your dick

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Speaker 1: and having dog one time for for center clouds. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So wait, so when all these Dutch people had this

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Speaker 1: party that was December six. Yeah, they were going out

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Speaker 1: in parties December six every time. And then in eighteen

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Speaker 1: o nine, this dude Washington Irving basically helped to popularize

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Speaker 1: center clouds stories. No, although you're what you're thinking of

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Speaker 1: is is my boy Clement Clark Moore who wrote to

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Speaker 1: us the night before Christmas in eighteen twenty two, which

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Speaker 1: ultimately ends up giving us the current iteration of Santa Claus,

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Speaker 1: the chubby, sort of jolly fat riding around on reindeer,

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Speaker 1: climbing up chimneys, Santa Claus. But but this dude Washington

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Speaker 1: Irvin eight No. Nine basically starts describing Center Clause. But

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Speaker 1: he's describing him originally as like a rascal with a

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Speaker 1: blue cornered, three cornered hat, red waistcoat and yellow stockings.

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Speaker 1: See I like that a little better. I don't know why,

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Speaker 1: but it sounds like, yeah, he's tacky. He's got my

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Speaker 1: three cornered hat on. I can't tell me I'm not

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Speaker 1: a two cornered hat bitch said something. I'm sorry that

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Speaker 1: my man's a rascal. He's sticking, he's sticking thumbs up

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Speaker 1: people's butts, yellow tights on you didn't tell me ship.

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Speaker 1: What's he gonna do about it? Motherfucker? He ain't Nicholas too.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember the name already. Center center clous center clouds. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're you're sucking up again. I'm sure my holiday too.

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Speaker 1: So so what was he doing when he was a rascal?

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Speaker 1: I like that better. So I don't I there weren't

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Speaker 1: really like super specific about the rascal of it all.

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Speaker 1: But it just doesn't sound like a dude who's like

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Speaker 1: walking around as much like giving away gifts as he

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Speaker 1: is like a little more elfish, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: See that's fun. I would rather be like Christmas time pranks, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the twelve Pranks of Christmas or something. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: we're in the writer's room. But yeah, he puts like

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Speaker 1: a he like gives you a wet willie and then

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Speaker 1: afterwards he's like, I got you something. No, I love

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Speaker 1: cool guy. Come on, give me a kiss, Come on

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Speaker 1: it maybe on this hat. He shows up with the

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Speaker 1: hat around his waist and he's like, oh, the hats

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Speaker 1: down here, now go ahead and kiss around it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so he was more of a fun guy with a

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Speaker 1: blue hat before before old Clement Clark Moore gets involved,

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Speaker 1: which was the Night Before Christmas, which is the poem

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Speaker 1: that tells us that he's this big, fat dude and

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Speaker 1: before then he's like a Turkish silly billy. He also

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Speaker 1: introduced like the reindeer and stuff too. Right, Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: introduced the reindeer. He introduced the chimney climbing all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: That was a big shot, like from a man, like

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Speaker 1: you know, it really was. And and frankly, it feels

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Speaker 1: like almost like how Dracula is is now our depiction

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Speaker 1: of vampires in a way, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: where it's like definitely. One dude was like, yeah, they

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Speaker 1: all got those Eddie Munster haircuts, and yeah, we're all

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Speaker 1: shoulder pads and the high collar and yeah, like oh

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Speaker 1: that's what they look like. Yo. Does he get his

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Speaker 1: credit for inventing Santa? I don't think so. I've never

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Speaker 1: shouted him out. I never heard. I've never been one

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Speaker 1: time for my boy old On we could do it, though,

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Speaker 1: give give shout out my boy one time for my

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Speaker 1: boy Clement Clark more from twas the Night before Christmas.

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Speaker 1: We love you, hell yeah, we we honor you on

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Speaker 1: this day St. Nicholas's death day as well, because you

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Speaker 1: you made him look less Asian than he was before

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Speaker 1: you took and somehow made him fat, which I don't

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Speaker 1: think there was as many fat guys back then. So

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Speaker 1: that was a defining trait. Yeah, you went out of

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Speaker 1: your way to be like this dude eats like a motherfucker,

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Speaker 1: and then gave him and then gave him rain d

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Speaker 1: which aren't indigenous to the United States. Nah was it?

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Speaker 1: Was it an American guy who wrote that, I believe so. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so he was that's the real crazy. Well, remember Santa

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Speaker 1: I think he Santa lived in the North Pole, so

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Speaker 1: he imagined what the North Pole animals would be, which

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Speaker 1: was oh wait, he already lived in the North Pole

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Speaker 1: when he was like when he was a Turkish rascal.

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Speaker 1: I think by the time that my boy Clement gets involved,

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Speaker 1: he is a North Pole resident. Oh that's not I

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Speaker 1: think Clement it may have in fact, been one of

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Speaker 1: the people that introduced that concept. That's that's what all

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Speaker 1: of this is. It's like Clement really shaped all of

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Speaker 1: what we now understand to be Santa Claus lore. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that makes sense, I can, okay, Okay. So he took

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Speaker 1: a lot of big swings and and made made some hits.

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Speaker 1: He really no, it's not a black man at all.

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Speaker 1: He In fact, I looked him up and I've never

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Speaker 1: seen a whier man before in my life. Truly look

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Speaker 1: like somebody tried to draw Thomas Jefferson by heart, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. It then becomes even more popular

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Speaker 1: because store start to advertise Christmas shopping in eighteen twenty.

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Speaker 1: By the eighteen forties, newspapers were creating separate sections for

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Speaker 1: holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly popular

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Speaker 1: Santa Clause of the of Clement's version of Santa Claus.

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Speaker 1: So this went completely It's just propaganda. It's commercialism, Doug.

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Speaker 1: That's all it is. Was just the mall being like, hey,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get people to to have a reason to

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Speaker 1: buy more stuff. See now, I don't want them to

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Speaker 1: be part of the year. I don't want them to

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Speaker 1: be black. I don't want them to be a tool

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Speaker 1: of capitalism like that. That and that, honestly, was big

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Speaker 1: takeaway from all of this was I kept thinking, stop

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Speaker 1: telling little kids that Santa is black. What you need

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Speaker 1: to tell them is that Santa is a white devil

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Speaker 1: trying to trick niggas into buying stuff. Do you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? This is, this is capital complain nothing

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Speaker 1: about Come on, we we don't need black Santa. We

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Speaker 1: that's the white man's evil at work right there. And

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Speaker 1: they can keep that nasty pudding for themselves. Yeah. I bet,

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Speaker 1: I bet Figgy putting a ship. But I can't believe

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Speaker 1: we even gave you the time of day we were.

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Speaker 1: We were teasing you. Put that in the mouth of

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Speaker 1: a king. You can kiss my three cornered hat he

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Speaker 1: put in is for peasants as far I want, I want,

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Speaker 1: I want salmon. I was a good Yeah, so fun Santa.

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Speaker 1: This is why this beat. It should sounds like Balentine's Day.

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Speaker 1: So it got me thinking about basically because this continues.

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Speaker 1: Right in eighteen forty one, thousands of children get invited

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Speaker 1: to this Philadelphia's shop to see a life size Santa

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Speaker 1: Claus model, and it was basically then put in the

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Speaker 1: newspapers and became this very popular thing for people trying

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Speaker 1: to bring big crowds to their stores and ship to

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Speaker 1: bring in their own Santa Clauses and life size models

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Speaker 1: and ship. And then in eighteen ninety the Salvation Army

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Speaker 1: starts dressing up homeless people as Santa Claus and getting

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Speaker 1: them to solicit for for money so that they could

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Speaker 1: basically provide for more homeless people. That even a complicated rollout. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're like, we can't find anybody to play Santa Claus.

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Speaker 1: They're like, I know some guys. And then for a

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Speaker 1: while children just think Santa Claus like smells like p

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Speaker 1: and is mentally ill. That's not a great people are mentally.

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Speaker 1: Maybe back then it was different. Yeah, maybe homeless people

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Speaker 1: are just one one big hit away from from getting

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Speaker 1: off them straights. Do you give to the Santa Claus

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Speaker 1: on the street? Do you ever give more because of Christmas?

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Speaker 1: I don't think I have. I think I give to

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Speaker 1: specific I don't give to any now I'm joking. If

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Speaker 1: I give, I try to give to specific individuals. I

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Speaker 1: feel like the often an organization is involved, the less

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Speaker 1: that money is able to stretch towards the people it's

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Speaker 1: meant to stretch too, especially now via go fund me,

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Speaker 1: Like you do have to have your like what's about

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Speaker 1: you when you're on there, but you get it's like

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Speaker 1: a lot easier to just like fix one person's Christmas. Then, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I try I I try to live under the

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Speaker 1: rule that like, if somebody's asking and you have it,

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Speaker 1: give it and don't think whites about like the story

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Speaker 1: or what they're gonna do with none of that ship

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Speaker 1: really matters. And like, frankly, I wasn't gonna do great

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Speaker 1: ship within anyway, and so like, if I got it,

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Speaker 1: you can have it, and I don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 1: But once you start adding corporate ties to it, it

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Speaker 1: starts to feel like, Okay, well you're paying somebody's salary

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Speaker 1: and maybe people get pennies out of this and ship.

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Speaker 1: You heard it here first, folks, Langston Kerman hates charity.

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Speaker 1: I hate charity, and specifically the Salvation Army. Suck my dick.

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Speaker 1: I don't salute your troops, not for one I I'm

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Speaker 1: with you. But so they they're dressing up homeless people

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Speaker 1: as or rather they're saying unemployed men, uh, Santa Claus,

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Speaker 1: and then sending them into the streets of New York

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Speaker 1: to solicit donations. And so the popularity grows and grows

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Speaker 1: and grows until suddenly we are now putting Santa Claus

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Speaker 1: on Coca Cola bottles and ship. So this is anything

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Speaker 1: born of this kind of is bad. I'm not for it.

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Speaker 1: Do more against Santa Claus than I was when we

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Speaker 1: started this. You should be he truly is just a

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Speaker 1: scam being run on us by rich people. Damn. Now

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Speaker 1: where it gets fascinating, and I think this is some

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Speaker 1: of what what we were excited to talk about in

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Speaker 1: terms of other holiday traditions. As I did start looking

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Speaker 1: up other sort of like depictions of Santa Claus or

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Speaker 1: at Santa Claus like figure across the world. Yeah, there's

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Speaker 1: some fun ones. So in in Germany, in Switzerland there's

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Speaker 1: a dude named Chris Kind. Chris Kind was an angel

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Speaker 1: like figure, often accompanying St. Nicholas on his holiday missions

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Speaker 1: to deliver presents to well behaved children. So the Swiss

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Speaker 1: and Germans all believe in this Chris Kind angel sort

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Speaker 1: of like backup singer that that rides with St. Nicholas

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Speaker 1: to go do the rest of this ship. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I'm gonna have a deity. I don't want

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Speaker 1: him to be the B team. Yeah, that's real. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand why an angel is sort of like playing

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Speaker 1: back up to Yeah. Also, don't you go God you

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Speaker 1: to be doing? Yeah, you're you're a real unfocused angel,

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Speaker 1: and I think I think God's gonna smite the when

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Speaker 1: when he finds out with both hands. Chris kind of

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Speaker 1: bad at this. So then in Scandinavia, a jolly elf

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Speaker 1: named jul Tompton delivers gifts in a slave drawn by goats.

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Speaker 1: He's he's got goats flying him through the air. I

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Speaker 1: guess that is good too. The goats not like a

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Speaker 1: majestic beast now and and frankly not a focus to

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Speaker 1: one either. It doesn't know. Yeah, they're gonna stop for

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Speaker 1: breaks and ship ships all over the place. It feels

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Speaker 1: like a lot of kids are gonna end up without gifts.

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Speaker 1: If his playing, what else do we go? So then

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Speaker 1: in Italy there's a woman called La Befana who's supposed

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Speaker 1: to be a kindly witch who rides a broomstick down

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Speaker 1: the chimneys to deliver toys into stockings of lucky children.

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Speaker 1: La Befana and she she gets it too. Lucky children

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Speaker 1: almost like that better? Oh that just get it? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I almost like take the morality out of it. It's

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Speaker 1: a crap shoot. I'm playing dice, playing dice with these presents.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if I'm bad or good. I'm truly

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Speaker 1: just praying it ain't snake guys exactly, because that one's

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Speaker 1: easier on the parents. Do you have a broke year?

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Speaker 1: You guys weren't lucky this year? Damn sucks. Damn. But

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Speaker 1: we're gonna keep working on it. We'll write some letters

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Speaker 1: and say, yeah, you know, maybe you'll get the next time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she might come. There's also Pierre Noel is French, and

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Speaker 1: he puts stuff in kids shoes that that's his strategy.

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Speaker 1: I guess it's like small little trinkets and and hummus

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Speaker 1: is I don't know what he's putting in shoes like that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't get what his plan is there,

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Speaker 1: but he puts it in the shoes. And then we

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Speaker 1: get to my personal favor and now I imagine yours

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Speaker 1: as well, which is which is my boy black Peter?

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Speaker 1: That's just a guy I know. Oh is this the

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Speaker 1: reason they wear a black face every year? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Now now we're getting to the front stuff. This is

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Speaker 1: specifically a a Dutch navy weird No, I think it's

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Speaker 1: like Netherlands type thing. Yeah. Netherlands, that's where children are

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Speaker 1: taught to believe that they received their presence from St. Nicholas,

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Speaker 1: who is accompanied by a black servant called Black Peter.

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Speaker 1: Adults will often dress up as St. Nicholas and Black Peter,

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Speaker 1: a white person painted in black face, and visit children

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Speaker 1: and adults to uh. St Nicholas arrives from Spain in

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Speaker 1: November by boat in Holland together with his black servants.

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Speaker 1: So in Spain specifically, they're like, yeah, he comes by

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Speaker 1: boat and he has a bunch of slaves with him,

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Speaker 1: And then in the Netherlands they're like, yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: one real popular black slave. But he's straight up with like,

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Speaker 1: is there any history? He's just a slave. Yeah, he's

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Speaker 1: just a slave. I looked it up. It's not they're not. Uh.

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Speaker 1: He's not like a magical slave that does magical thing.

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Speaker 1: This is a nigga with a job. Guys just like, well,

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Speaker 1: here was my here's my big takeaway. And I don't

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Speaker 1: know how this is gonna sit with sit with you

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Speaker 1: in this but Black Peter and I I felt this way.

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Speaker 1: I read all about him, and I felt like there's

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Speaker 1: an argument to be made that Holland is the only

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Speaker 1: place being completely honest about what Santa Claus actually is.

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Speaker 1: No a slave holder. Oh yes, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like the same way that that that there's no way

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Speaker 1: to make a billion dollars without like intentionally exploiting a

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Speaker 1: workforce and a a massive amount of people. There's no

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Speaker 1: way to make toys for children all around the world

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Speaker 1: without similarly exploiting a work group, you know what I mean. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean this is this is darker than just telling

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Speaker 1: your kids there's no Santa clause. Yeah, you do better

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Speaker 1: telling him that he's not real, not a yeah, not

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Speaker 1: a Michael Fastbender type character, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: not a fucking monster. It sounds like the Lost Lost People, right,

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Speaker 1: there's no there's no there's no place he came from.

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Speaker 1: Pete doesn't know his origins. Yeah, Black Peter, he ain't.

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Speaker 1: He ain't got nothing. There's no history there. They didn't

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Speaker 1: even give him a last name. He just lives in

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Speaker 1: a license servitude to St. Nicholas. Yeah, he just rides

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Speaker 1: around with St. Nicholas, handing out gifts that that he

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Speaker 1: doesn't really get credit for. It sounds like so I

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Speaker 1: think if there's anything to learn from this episode is

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Speaker 1: that the Dutch of monsters. Yeah. I but again, I

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Speaker 1: think there's a point to be made that that maybe

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Speaker 1: they're just being honest, right because you just said you

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Speaker 1: want to let a kid be a kid. You know

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Speaker 1: what he's not doing that tell him about slaves. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but if you but at least in this way, they

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Speaker 1: get a moment of just being like, oh, black Peter,

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Speaker 1: he's he's like a happy slave. The same way that like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's good. He was racially gonna be like,

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Speaker 1: thank god, my parents gave me a leg up by

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Speaker 1: telling me about black Peter. I just think that it's

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Speaker 1: a chance to get at least get your kids defending

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Speaker 1: themselves from the evils of this world faster by being

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Speaker 1: by being straight up honest. Santa Claus can't exist without slavery.

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Speaker 1: And we live in America, we don't, or in Holland

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Speaker 1: we white slaves. Are you out of your mind? You

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Speaker 1: think we're gonna they we're gonna enslave white people. That's

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Speaker 1: that's more fantastical than a man that delivers gives to

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Speaker 1: every child, enslaving white nose. So we enslaved the black

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Speaker 1: and his name is Peter. I love this. I don't

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Speaker 1: love that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not promoting.

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Speaker 1: It feels of all the you you were pulling that

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Speaker 1: ship to the lucky Italian, which because she's not being honest.

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Speaker 1: Why is why are they lucky? Is this truly a lottery?

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Speaker 1: Or are they getting preferential treatment because they live in

359
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: the neighborhood with the guy who pulls the cards? Oh? Man,

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Speaker 1: this is this is I don't I don't listen. I

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Speaker 1: want you guys to know I'm not for black Pete.

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Speaker 1: I don't like I'm not for black Pete. Nor am

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Speaker 1: I four mountain dude, Nor am I four a lot

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Speaker 1: of the things that you keep accusing me of. I

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Speaker 1: am merely saying that in a world where these things,

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Speaker 1: we need to acknowledge their effectiveness. Oh man, I think

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Speaker 1: you just wrote a manifesto. Yo. I think there are

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Speaker 1: lessons to be learned from a black Pete. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? American? I gotta say I think

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Speaker 1: that I'm I started this off. Black Peat makes me

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Speaker 1: pro white Santa. Whoa black Peat makes me like, just

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Speaker 1: give him the white fucking Santa? Then God damn it.

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Speaker 1: But see, I think that that's what I think, that's

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Speaker 1: that's making a mistake, because it's why do you want

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Speaker 1: to put slavery in Christmas? It's in so many other things,

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Speaker 1: because you're already telling me it's in Christmas. Before you

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00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: learned or we talked about any of this black peat shit,

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Speaker 1: you said that Santa had slaves. He has the fucking nails,

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Speaker 1: And so America's just lying to us and going, look

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Speaker 1: at these cute, little white, almost not human critters that

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Speaker 1: are are Santa's quote unquote happy, pleasant workforce. And instead

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Speaker 1: in Holland, they're like, look at that sad niggo over

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Speaker 1: there having to help him delivering. Look at him deal

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Speaker 1: with whatever the funk that is. And you now do

385
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: do I think they've interpreted it right? No? I do not,

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Speaker 1: But I do think at its core they're at least

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00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: giving an honest lesson about what this day is. You

388
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: gotta be you gotta be true to yourself. Man. I

389
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: don't know. Man, this seems like a lot for children.

390
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm not saying, listen again, my daughter will not be raised.

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Speaker 1: I want to be clear, Sad, we don't have a

392
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: black pete on the top of our Christmas tree. You

393
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 1: got Michael Jordan's eyes drop dropping off of hot wheels

394
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: and getting back in his fucking Volkswagen Jetta. No, damn man,

395
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: that's that's the worst Christmas ever. We're not gonna be

396
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: promoting black Pete in this house. My daughter will not

397
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: be raised knowing Black Pete as an option. But what

398
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: I will say is that if you are a Dutch

399
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: person who has lived under Black Pete's unfortunate rain for

400
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 1: as long as as you have, it's fucked up. It's evil.

401
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: Shame on you. But also kind of honest. I mean

402
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: the term is brutal honesty. Right, Yeah, I'm not four

403
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: black pets too. I feel like I honestly, you're like,

404
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: you're like, this is all it's all made up. It's

405
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: all made up Christmas, It's all made up. So now

406
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 1: you want to choose honestly when it comes to putting

407
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: racism and for slaves in there. Yeah, I don't want

408
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: any children, Yeah, I don't want any black kids to

409
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: be like that was like my uncle. Well yeah, well

410
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I think and again the effect

411
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: of this, I think that's why you put a black

412
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Speaker 1: a white man in black face so that it doesn't

413
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: look like anybody's uncle. It surely is just a a

414
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: non a non non comparable fucking little character cut Sure,

415
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 1: how do you say that word? I can't put my

416
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: finger on it, but my heart knows this as evil. Yeah,

417
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 1: those you're speaking right now, But I'm saying it's evil.

418
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: I I acknowledge it's evil. I'm just saying evil and

419
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: honesty are not always fully separate into these That's that's fair.

420
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:46,239
Speaker 1: That's fair. That well. I I did also look up.

421
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: I know you clearly you don't funk with it, and

422
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: you sort of acknowledge a bunch of this already. I

423
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: didn't want to look up if there are any Santa

424
00:28:54,200 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: Clause traditions in primarily African countries or Black countries, And

425
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like there is at all. Like it

426
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like a lot of Africans especially funk with

427
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: Santa Claus at all. Now, I will say, y'all got

428
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: Christmas because colonization and all the ship like you you're

429
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 1: not exempt from Christmas. But you don't. Y'all just like

430
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: go to church and get dinner and ship. It seems

431
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: like a pretty reasonable day. I have all this magic

432
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: call and breaking and entering in your house bringing the

433
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: black slave along. Good Christmas, be happy for Jesus get

434
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: a couple of presents were out. Yeah, be happy. Hey Jesus,

435
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: you made it. That's very appreciate. You didn't live very long,

436
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: but but you did. You did get here, and that's cool,

437
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: and you live very long. You also had like thirteen

438
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: missing years or something, right, Yeah, you know you did

439
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 1: some funked up ship that Uh that old Joseph and

440
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: Mary had to get wiped off the record, you know

441
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, you have to get fresh. Prince

442
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: of bel Aired for a minute, come right, he had

443
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: one little fight and your mom got scared. And that

444
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: story is probably a little deeper than you've made it seem.

445
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: Uh you know what I mean. Well, I think a

446
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: little more happened that day than just a ball bounced

447
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: off a man's head and suddenly you had to move

448
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: to bel Air. Let's be honest. You had you had

449
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: a history with that gentleman. I think you killed the guy.

450
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: So yeah, I I don't think that, uh that that

451
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: Many African countries seem to give a funk about Santa Claus.

452
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 1: In particular, it seems like there is a a already

453
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: sort of like pre cooked awareness that this is just

454
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: consumerism at it's at at play here that that Santa

455
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: Claus don't got nothing to do with that. It developed

456
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: completely out side of that part of the world. Right,

457
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: I want to know what South Americans are doing. Oh,

458
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 1: I don't actually know. I don't think they funk with

459
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: that ship either. Oh, I feel like that's tough. Yeah,

460
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: tell me where. I've never known South Americans or even

461
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: Mexican I never really know. As far as in my life,

462
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: I've never really known them. It seems like the funk

463
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: with that ship either. Yeah, Olivia is typing noche Buena,

464
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 1: which is the good Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, But

465
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: that are you suggesting that, Oh, it's celebrating more Christmas

466
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: Eve than it is even Christmas Days. But there's no

467
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 1: like there's no like man who comes to your home.

468
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: There's no like Mexican Santa Claus. I guess it's the

469
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: big question. See, I didn't think so I didn't, That's

470
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: what I'm telling So that means so then you look

471
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 1: at the world as a whole, right, South America, Central

472
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,239
Speaker 1: America doesn't with it, Africa doesn't funk with it, The

473
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: Middle East doesn't funk with it. Asia, as far as

474
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: I understand, it's not funk with it. I guess Turkey Eurasia.

475
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: So this is a purely European sentiment. Yeah, and and

476
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: Turkey doesn't really funk with it. They did funk with it,

477
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: and then it got washed into some other people's ship

478
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,239
Speaker 1: and now they're like, man, whatever. So that means this

479
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: is just like a figment of the Dutch imagination. Yeah, no,

480
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: it's white. It's white trickery at its moment, its finest.

481
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: This is at the highest level. Nobody else gives a

482
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: funk about that ship. Man. I'm back off, I'm back off.

483
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: I'm back off. Santa Claus sounds like you're back on

484
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: the black Peat train. Let's go. No no no no

485
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: no no no no no no no no no no

486
00:32:47,240 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: no no no no do oh. Yeah, I don't want

487
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. I knew that I didn't

488
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: like this. I knew this coming in. I didn't like this. Well,

489
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: I think we solved it. I do. I do think

490
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,479
Speaker 1: we we nailed this episode at it's cored. Sounds like

491
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: Santa Clauses is truly just some made up white people's

492
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: ship to mostly trick us into spending more money than

493
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: we have. I think we did it. I feel so

494
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: Black people stop to stop buying into a black Santa.

495
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: That's just a long con to make you personally invested

496
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: in your own your own destruction. And white people, keep

497
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 1: up the good work. You're nailing it. We're we're all

498
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: really proud of you, and you have nothing to regret. Surely,

499
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: surely white Jesus will celebrate you and kiss you on

500
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: your forehead when you make it up to a white heaven. Wait,

501
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,719
Speaker 1: tell everybody where they can find you, like the logical closing,

502
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: you can find me a cool guy jokes eighties seven

503
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I post all this stuff I'm doing there,

504
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: and you know, just keep coming out to see me.

505
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. It's nice to see you in prison.

506
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: And uh, you know, black Pete, black Pete funk the

507
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 1: institution that's fawn. Black Pete, black pet is just a

508
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: man working hard, and I don't want to be against it.

509
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: All right, Well, you can follow me at Langston kermanow

510
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: dot black Pete. Do you even follow me on like

511
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 1: on all platforms? Gee, Lonny, stay out of my goddamn emails.

512
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: And as always, if you want to send us your drops,

513
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 1: your conspiracy theories, your suggestions of what we should do

514
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: with Black Pete in Santa Claus and personally, I do

515
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: believe that I bories against it, but I believe that

516
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: Black Pete deserves sex too, So I'm not sure what

517
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: what happened where He's like Black Pete should go sexless

518
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: and id and save for the rest of his life.

519
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 1: But if you want to fund Black Pete, please is that.

520
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: But if you want to send us your conspiracy, send

521
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: them to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. We

522
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: would love to hear from you, and happy holidays. Bye bitch,

523
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: Black pe We're back. You thought we were gone, but

524
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: we're back, bitch, and we've got something exciting to tell you,

525
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: very exciting stuff to to let you know about. Big news.

526
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: First big news on the table starting December, right December.

527
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: We're on YouTube. You asked for it, you animals, and

528
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: we're giving it to you. You filthy pigs, You filth

529
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: fucking pigs. Full episodes of my Mama told Me streaming

530
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,959
Speaker 1: on YouTube. You can watch legs to laugh. Me licked

531
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: my lips because I don't know what's going on. I'm

532
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: worried that I'm in some dry lid phase. I mean

533
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: using chap six and stop going good. Oh no, you're

534
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: in your dry era. But but guess what, guess what

535
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: We're wet with content, baby, because because it's all on YouTube,

536
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: it's available for you to view. You've been asking about it,

537
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: and there it is. And even more exciting, this is

538
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: another little, another little scrumptious thing that we get to

539
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: offer you is we are doing a live show. Finally

540
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: we are. David and I are are finally gonna be

541
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 1: live in front of our our our eights and and

542
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: maybe even tens of fans, doing a live episode of

543
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: My Mama told me. It's going to be at the

544
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: Allegian Theater here in Los Angeles on on February sixte

545
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: We're really excited. We would love for you to be there.

546
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 1: The tickets, the information is all going to be linked

547
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 1: here on the YouTube that we promised is now available.

548
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: So so click the goddamn link, your idiot. We did

549
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: all this work. You better click it, and you better

550
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 1: show up. Maltop bitch, Croup chips in your qualibas are

551
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: racist host layers, mostly money Martney stuff. I can't tell

552
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: me