Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heart radio podcast.
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have a really good show today. Okay,
Speaker 1: we have Lala Kent coming on. Do you watch that
Speaker 1: a little bit? But then I'm sorry saying I just
Speaker 1: ran so I'm like sweating my next game, like you're like, anyway,
Speaker 1: I know um a little bit, but I'm not real
Speaker 1: like caught up with it. So no, because it's vander
Speaker 1: Pump and I love vander Pump, so it's okay. So
Speaker 1: it's Lisa came off of Lisa, vander Pump came off
Speaker 1: of which Housewives house and then it became vander Pump. Well,
Speaker 1: actually I think she had that before she left. It
Speaker 1: started while she was still on Housewives, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: And then she went off Housewives and I kept going.
Speaker 1: And she's the one who does like the skinny No, no,
Speaker 1: that's she's the one with all those um bar restaurants
Speaker 1: and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, we went to Pump went. I
Speaker 1: think you did know I wanted to. I don't think
Speaker 1: we did. I want with someone who wanted to go.
Speaker 1: I thought it was you know, I think I had
Speaker 1: saying Monica everything, I'm like, I want to go there.
Speaker 1: I think there's really cute remember going. I can't remember
Speaker 1: all of them, there are several. Yeah, no, it's super okay.
Speaker 1: And then and then La La is just um girl
Speaker 1: like on the show as she came on a few seasons.
Speaker 1: End up belief all the stuff that happened with her husband.
Speaker 1: I mean I saw a lot of the like tabloid stuff,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean I saw all the because he
Speaker 1: was like in Nashville, right, I think the affair happened
Speaker 1: in Nashville. Yeah, I want to. I just remember people
Speaker 1: posting like he's being seen in Nashville and you know
Speaker 1: all that. You know what, I just don't get which
Speaker 1: so so speaking to that, I wore a shirt for
Speaker 1: Lalla and it says allergic to your bullshit. So that
Speaker 1: share is because I feel like us girls understand that. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: but I I one of the first things I thought
Speaker 1: of when I saw that is like, dude, you're an idiot.
Speaker 1: Like there's people like you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: there's people everywhere. Why would you be around other I
Speaker 1: just don't think people are that dumb, but clearly they are.
Speaker 1: I just think sometimes you just want to get caught.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, I think I don't know their
Speaker 1: story that well, and I'm not assuming that of him,
Speaker 1: but if you were going to be that in people's faces,
Speaker 1: I feel like, deep down somewhere you want to get caught,
Speaker 1: especially if you're somebody I mean my ex would say that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always thought that about him. Yeah, I mean that
Speaker 1: is a very good point. And even think about that
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, I mean, people know who he is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know. It's crazy because about like a month before
Speaker 1: all that came out, I auditioned for one of his
Speaker 1: movies because he's a big producer. Um and one of
Speaker 1: my friends, well not my friends, I knew him like
Speaker 1: way back in the day, but he's a he's a
Speaker 1: you know, a big sir, and um, it was like
Speaker 1: with him, so I was like, hey, like I just
Speaker 1: sent him my addition, like do you mind like putting
Speaker 1: in a good word to Randall Um? But it's hard
Speaker 1: because it's like, I think he's such a great I mean,
Speaker 1: he's a he's a director, he's an amazing producer. So
Speaker 1: it's just, you know, it's unfortunate that, um, those are
Speaker 1: the headlines when you know, and I feel bad for
Speaker 1: her because she just had a baby, didn't didn't she
Speaker 1: like just have a baby with him. Yeah, I wonder
Speaker 1: how old Riley, how old is her kids? That's one thing.
Speaker 1: I first just turned one. I think, Oh it's right,
Speaker 1: she's had both day party. Yeah. Um, so that's like
Speaker 1: hard because I'm like a baby so young. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm curious, like if she'll like wants to
Speaker 1: talk about it or not. Yeah. Well, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to like step that because it's like it's weird
Speaker 1: because I'm like, as much as I do talk about Max,
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about Max. Does that make sense? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And it's like I hate when people ask me because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't talk about it and everybody wants
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But I do feel like it's
Speaker 1: it's so similar to your story, so it's hard not
Speaker 1: to because you'll both had young babies. Yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: Maybe just just step in and see how it goes. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's interesting though, because what I just said, I'm like,
Speaker 1: now I'm like, what a very weird thing I just mentioned.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it, but I talked
Speaker 1: about it. You really don't want to talk about it? Well, like, okay,
Speaker 1: that's to be back. It's when someone like, okay, like
Speaker 1: my in laws are in town and my in law's jesus,
Speaker 1: my my mom and mother, my mother isn't tough, and
Speaker 1: you know her husband will be like, oh, so, how's
Speaker 1: you know. I'm like, I don't want to talk about Mike,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I just don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about it. Can we just next topic? You know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That makes sense? Yeah, and now that makes sense for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I'm just like I talk about I think maybe
Speaker 1: if it's like something I talked about on here, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's like something you want to get off your
Speaker 1: chest or want to like kind of talk through. But
Speaker 1: it's when other people are asking and like wanting to
Speaker 1: know stuff, and maybe that's different. I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Texting you find out like I don't want I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't talk to him. Why don't you? But yeah, know,
Speaker 1: I mean it's just um. And I was talking to
Speaker 1: someone who I'm working on something with and she goes,
Speaker 1: it's interesting, She's like, what I'm finding that you have?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to like sugar and dance around this because
Speaker 1: I don't want I can't obviously see what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: But she's like, it's the stuff that when you don't
Speaker 1: talk about him. I was like, I know. I was like,
Speaker 1: I actually don't want it. It's just the experiences in
Speaker 1: which I like, I talked about him through my experiences
Speaker 1: because that was my experience. It felt like I'm talking
Speaker 1: about him as I say. I'm like, because like Hellsmes
Speaker 1: will be like, oh, stop talking about I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: not about you, not about you at all. It's about
Speaker 1: my experience with X, Y and Z. Right, yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's I mean, that makes sense. What would you do
Speaker 1: if Nick cheated on you? In what regard I want
Speaker 1: to talk about it or just in general? You know,
Speaker 1: what would you do? Would you relieve? I mean I
Speaker 1: always said that I would, but I also haven't been
Speaker 1: in the position, so I don't want to just you know,
Speaker 1: I always said that I definitely would, but again I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know for sure. It's hard when kids are involved.
Speaker 1: I know, it's so hard. Yeah, And then I think of, like,
Speaker 1: I know, this is like I'm kind of getting gossipy
Speaker 1: and I hate that. But but I think of like
Speaker 1: Sam Hunt and his wife and she's pregnant. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean well, and I like when I
Speaker 1: saw that, I was like, wow, you are so freaking
Speaker 1: strong because I was pregnant with Jace. Why I just
Speaker 1: found out about, you know, being pregnant with Jason when
Speaker 1: I caught him before you know who showed up at
Speaker 1: the hotel. So I was like and then I'm calling
Speaker 1: my friend Sarah Bryce, who was like, you can do
Speaker 1: this alone. You can have this baby. I'm like, There's
Speaker 1: no way in hell I can do this alone. Yeah
Speaker 1: I remember, yeah, I remember that very vividly. And then
Speaker 1: like she's like no, I'm like, oh my god. I
Speaker 1: wish I had the like respect for myself to be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, don't deserve this. My baby doesn't deserve this.
Speaker 1: Like I'm I mean, I get trying to but at
Speaker 1: the same time, like I loved that. You know, I
Speaker 1: think both things are strong, but I mean is independent
Speaker 1: as I think that I am. Logistics are hard, Like
Speaker 1: if you just think about getting divorced, and especially if
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, like I got three kids, like what am
Speaker 1: I going to do? Or am I going to go?
Speaker 1: How am I going to support? Like women think through
Speaker 1: those things, and if you're pregnant, you're in that you're
Speaker 1: gonna be in the hospital by yourself giving birth. Like
Speaker 1: there's a lot of I mean, Sarah did it, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like she had her mom, she had her friends,
Speaker 1: like I know so many women that have done it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's possible, and I think that you obviously
Speaker 1: can do it. But I can see where that would
Speaker 1: be and I would like to think that I would
Speaker 1: do that if I was in that position. But I
Speaker 1: can see, on the other hand, how that's that's not
Speaker 1: an easy to ask either. No, what's going on in
Speaker 1: your life. I've just you know, filming film in a
Speaker 1: movie with a c slater super fund that it's freaking
Speaker 1: a c slater. I know. Katherine and I went out
Speaker 1: to dinner when the nights after filming, and I go,
Speaker 1: it's kind of cool days later, like I watched it
Speaker 1: by the bell, especially when you start whispering, like I know,
Speaker 1: it's like it's totally like our age generation. And then
Speaker 1: when the group of moms comes up to take the
Speaker 1: picture with them and like, yep, y stuff, that's all right,
Speaker 1: that's us, hey, ladies, Like that's you and me, all right, well,
Speaker 1: let's take a break and then let's get La la on.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hey, what's up. I'm Janna. This is Catherine. Hey,
Speaker 1: how are you good? Thank you for having me. Of course,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you on the show. I don't, um,
Speaker 1: And I'm excited that your book is getting paperback. It's
Speaker 1: coming coming. It's like a re re outright, Like I
Speaker 1: feel like now I've fully given birth to it. The
Speaker 1: process is done. I know, it's a I had written
Speaker 1: a book with my ex, so I feel like it's
Speaker 1: um one of those things where it's like once you're
Speaker 1: done with it, it's like because then they have it
Speaker 1: for nine months and then it takes part and there's
Speaker 1: like so much changes in those nine months. I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: I wish I would have been able to put this
Speaker 1: in or like that in right, Wow, writing a book
Speaker 1: with your ex, well, he wasn't my he wasn't my ex.
Speaker 1: Then I found out about something again that happened. So
Speaker 1: my ex also cheated a bunch um lovely. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: I feel very close to you. Unfortunately, Um that matter
Speaker 1: because it's just it sucks and it was public and
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's just one of those things where
Speaker 1: you don't wish that upon like your worst enemy totally. Uh,
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. But I I really applaud you for
Speaker 1: how you handled it because you just didn't give in
Speaker 1: to like you just you said what was like on
Speaker 1: your mind. You spoke your truth, and I was just
Speaker 1: like yes, and I just I loved I loved that
Speaker 1: because I don't know, because a lot of people are like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't want to say or you know, you can't say.
Speaker 1: It's like no, it's like I just got I just
Speaker 1: saw all this crap and that's not okay. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: there were so many moments where people would tell me,
Speaker 1: like to to kind of fall back and maybe not
Speaker 1: share certain things, and I, you know, from what I
Speaker 1: what I know and what I'm sitting on, I chose
Speaker 1: to share such a tiny, teeny piece of what happened.
Speaker 1: And everyone's saying, you know, you have a daughter to protect. Well,
Speaker 1: yes I do, and I've been doing that. But I'm
Speaker 1: addressing this publicly because he decided to step out on
Speaker 1: me publicly and he didn't think about protecting ocean or me.
Speaker 1: So why are you looking at the woman like, no,
Speaker 1: be quiet, don't say anything. That. M No. I mean,
Speaker 1: I completely agree with you. And there's a lot of
Speaker 1: times too, like because we do talk a lot about
Speaker 1: infidelity on the show and my ex and I don't
Speaker 1: know if you got it from your X at all,
Speaker 1: but like I know my axes, like stopped playing the victim,
Speaker 1: you know, stop talking about it, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not actually even talking about you anymore. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: my experiences and what I went through and the you know,
Speaker 1: the abuse and the manipulation, Like that's what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about now, and how I got to the other side.
Speaker 1: And yes, yes, I was a victim of it, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that's such like a narcissistic thing to say, like
Speaker 1: they put you through hell in every aspect and then
Speaker 1: make you feel like you should be quiet and you're
Speaker 1: not a victim and you made mistakes too, And it's like,
Speaker 1: mm hmmm, let's pump the brakes. You're you're not going
Speaker 1: to twist this on me. And we're allowed to talk
Speaker 1: about our experiences and people doing us dirty because there's
Speaker 1: many women out there who are dealing with the same thing.
Speaker 1: And to see someone on your platform or mind go
Speaker 1: through it, it's relatable. It makes women feel less alone,
Speaker 1: and that is my job. It's why I do reality
Speaker 1: TV because I want people to feel that they are
Speaker 1: not alone. M hm is there something like I know,
Speaker 1: women reach out to me and they're like, you know,
Speaker 1: they asked, like the red flags or how did you
Speaker 1: know like in your gut? Because and when I think,
Speaker 1: I'm like when I look or you know, feel back
Speaker 1: to my gut, im like I knew something was going on,
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to really believe it. And then
Speaker 1: my friends and then my friend then the other part
Speaker 1: of my gut was like no, like everything's great, and
Speaker 1: my friends are like you guys are you're You're they
Speaker 1: wanted to shake me, you know, like what of course
Speaker 1: it's not good. So like, did you ever have those
Speaker 1: moments where we were just like you kind of knew
Speaker 1: something was off, but you didn't want to believe it.
Speaker 1: I love that you asked this question because I go
Speaker 1: back and now with the bird's eye view, Yes, there
Speaker 1: were red flags everywhere. When I was in it, I
Speaker 1: knew that I was in a toxic environment, but I
Speaker 1: felt like I was creating it. I was so triggered
Speaker 1: by that person all the time that I felt and
Speaker 1: He made me feel like I needed to go to
Speaker 1: therapy to work on myself and let go of certain things,
Speaker 1: or maybe I had childhood trauma and you know that,
Speaker 1: that was my intuition, going this person is dirty, you
Speaker 1: gotta get away. But in my mind, I was like,
Speaker 1: he's such a great guy, like I would have put
Speaker 1: Ocean's life on him, never creeping around on me. How
Speaker 1: sick is that? How sick is that? And even when
Speaker 1: those photos surfaced and I was take it back, there
Speaker 1: were a couple of days before the photo surface that
Speaker 1: I had been getting messages about him at a bar,
Speaker 1: not acting the way a partner should act. He made
Speaker 1: me feel crazy. Keep in mind he wouldn't show me
Speaker 1: his hotel room, and I thought that was very strange.
Speaker 1: I was triggered, and he said we need to get
Speaker 1: into a therapy session like immediately. So that of course,
Speaker 1: he makes you feel like you're the crazy one for
Speaker 1: wanting to like see the Yes, this man had he
Speaker 1: do a therapy session via zoom. He was somewhere else.
Speaker 1: I was in l A and the whole time he
Speaker 1: was with the girl that he was in a relationship
Speaker 1: with since March. Wow, it's just like first I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry that that it was a part of your experience.
Speaker 1: But it's also just baffling to me, like when I
Speaker 1: when I hear that, when I back on things that
Speaker 1: like my X would say, and it's like they just
Speaker 1: make you feel to this day, like I'm in therapy
Speaker 1: and I'm like, am I crazy? Like am I the
Speaker 1: one that's like like, well I did yell? You know,
Speaker 1: and like you just you hear their voice so much
Speaker 1: and like in your head that like make you question
Speaker 1: your reality and because they've just programmed you to believe that,
Speaker 1: like they're you're the reason why they were acting out
Speaker 1: or you're the reason why they did X, Y and Z,
Speaker 1: and you're the reason why you know, they feel the way,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's your faults and and then you
Speaker 1: like it's literally been like a year of therapy going
Speaker 1: on retraining your brain. You go, oh wait, it's no,
Speaker 1: it actually wasn't my fault, Like, yes, my reactions were
Speaker 1: a little psycho because he was cheating and I was
Speaker 1: trying to control and like you know, but I was.
Speaker 1: It's just it's maddening to me. It is and I
Speaker 1: saw I saw this thing online the other day, Um,
Speaker 1: I follow a lot of narcissist account same girlfriends say
Speaker 1: we need to follow each other because I post a lot.
Speaker 1: Let's do that, And it was how a narcisist will
Speaker 1: say that you made mistakes, and yes, the mistakes that
Speaker 1: we've made are just mistakes, because we're human beings. Every
Speaker 1: party is going to make mistakes in a relationship. What
Speaker 1: they did, that's not a mistake. That's called in my situation,
Speaker 1: I believe you are inherently evil. Yes I've made mistakes.
Speaker 1: I'm a person, but you're not gonna make me feel
Speaker 1: like what I did was the cause of you going out.
Speaker 1: And those aren't mistakes. Let's make that very very clear.
Speaker 1: What they did and what we have done are two
Speaker 1: very different things. Have you gotten the apology that you
Speaker 1: deserve when trust is gone and someone can't own up
Speaker 1: and the and they they continue to keep the mask on.
Speaker 1: It's very intriguing. It's very intriguing when you see a
Speaker 1: person for exactly who they are and they think that
Speaker 1: you don't know who they are, and you watch them
Speaker 1: do their little game. It is like jaw dropping. So
Speaker 1: I don't need an apology, want one, because everything that
Speaker 1: that person says is just covered in bullshit you I
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with it anymore. And that is
Speaker 1: you know, now now I can go out and I
Speaker 1: can enjoy the fact that, like my paperback is out
Speaker 1: with the national best seller sticker on it. I can
Speaker 1: enjoy the fact that I have a beauty brand, that
Speaker 1: I have a podcast. I'm not in this heavy situation
Speaker 1: where I can't enjoy the things I've accomplished in my life.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's like that's the greatest thing when you
Speaker 1: can get to that point, because I remember recently getting
Speaker 1: there being like I don't even want one because I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even know if I believe it. And where you
Speaker 1: just like to be able to shed that into like
Speaker 1: just feel so free and so light and not to
Speaker 1: worry or be like, oh I wonder who they're texting
Speaker 1: or where they're at today or it's just like such
Speaker 1: a And yeah, like you said, to be able to
Speaker 1: focus on ocean, to be able to focus on your work,
Speaker 1: and like now you get to spread and help other
Speaker 1: women with you know, unfortunately what you went through, but
Speaker 1: I promise you like it's and then you know this too,
Speaker 1: it's like things are going to bloom so much bigger
Speaker 1: and beautiful and brighter because like you're not holding onto
Speaker 1: that darkness anymore. That's exactly what it is. I have
Speaker 1: been living in a world that I just became comfortable with.
Speaker 1: It was like this is just normal. And now I'm
Speaker 1: out here looking at this amazing world that I've been
Speaker 1: missing out on for six years. And you know, freedom
Speaker 1: is amazing, and people don't. You know, there's so many
Speaker 1: ways that a relationship can keep you down, and it
Speaker 1: could just be you know, dimming your light. And I
Speaker 1: finally feel like, Okay, I look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: I recognize this person, Like I'm fully back. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: What would you say to other women that are kind
Speaker 1: of feeling stuck or that have gone through the same situation, like,
Speaker 1: because I know for me and my or my friends,
Speaker 1: like they've tried to shake me a million times to
Speaker 1: say like open your eyes, see it. But I feel
Speaker 1: like it's almost like you have to be the person
Speaker 1: to walk away. But is there something that you wish
Speaker 1: maybe somebody said to you. That's a hard question because
Speaker 1: I feel like that person came into my life for
Speaker 1: one purpose and one purpose only, and that was Ocean
Speaker 1: was meant to be here. If I don't look at
Speaker 1: it that way, I will drive myself insane. Um. So
Speaker 1: because of that, I can say, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: regret the past six years because I have this incredible baby.
Speaker 1: But any woman who's feeling stuck or they feel like
Speaker 1: they want to get out, this is gonna make me
Speaker 1: emotional because I've been in that situation where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm stuck and I can't do it until I was
Speaker 1: forced to do it, And you can't hm everything will
Speaker 1: be okay that I can promise you'll be better than ever.
Speaker 1: It will be a shock, but in those moments, you
Speaker 1: realize your strength and no one can take that away
Speaker 1: from you. After you find that within you and you
Speaker 1: make the jump and you get out, you are unbreakable.
Speaker 1: When you experience moments like that, Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: definitely feel that. I mean, yeah, being feeling that brokenness
Speaker 1: and then you know, Catherine Um was with me the
Speaker 1: well that night and then the next day when I
Speaker 1: filed for divorce and I'm like, happen, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to how I'm gonna get up, And it's like
Speaker 1: you find the strength that you don't even know you have,
Speaker 1: and it's like as broken as you are, Like, it's
Speaker 1: so much more beautiful on the other side. You couldn't
Speaker 1: even imagine. I would have never, in my wildest dreams
Speaker 1: imagined that, Like how beautiful it can be on the
Speaker 1: other side, and like how much like I love myself
Speaker 1: more now than I love myself the last seven years
Speaker 1: of my marriage. Oh I love that. Yeah, because you've
Speaker 1: taken yourself back. What do you think as a friend? Well,
Speaker 1: I was going to say it's it's interesting because I've
Speaker 1: not been in y'all's position, so I'm kind of letting y'all,
Speaker 1: but as the outsider seeing it, excuse me. First of all,
Speaker 1: you'll have to you have to see it on your own.
Speaker 1: That is one thing I've learned as a friend. You
Speaker 1: can sit there and say do this, I would do that.
Speaker 1: You know, there were a lot of questions, what would
Speaker 1: you do if your husband did this? What would you do?
Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter. You have to see it for
Speaker 1: yourself and whether you're forced into that position, which essentially
Speaker 1: you were too. I mean you'll were both kind of
Speaker 1: forced into this place. For that it had to go away,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean you made the decision, but at
Speaker 1: the same time you were forced into that decision, you'all
Speaker 1: would have never have seen that for yourself, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I just I think you eat, whether
Speaker 1: you're forced or you make the decision or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: you have to see it for yourself. I yeah, I
Speaker 1: agree with that, and I think it's hard because even
Speaker 1: you've mentioned other friends going through and you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, I just want to shake them. Is this
Speaker 1: how you felt when this was going on? And it's like, yes,
Speaker 1: but again you have to understand that they have to
Speaker 1: see it for themselves or there you're not going to
Speaker 1: get anywhere. Well, it's kind of like getting like watching
Speaker 1: someone in an addiction. You can get someone sober, you
Speaker 1: can't get someone to leave their their toxic partner. Like
Speaker 1: people have to come to that on their own. We
Speaker 1: had those discussions before she filed. Janna would say like,
Speaker 1: this is my addiction and it really kind of made
Speaker 1: me see that too, and how to kind of handle
Speaker 1: you a little bit in it, like and yes, I
Speaker 1: was a little bit of the tough love, but like
Speaker 1: I had an addict mother where I kind of had
Speaker 1: to play tough love as well, and so it is
Speaker 1: very much like an addiction, very similar, m, how long
Speaker 1: have you been sober for I've been sober for three
Speaker 1: years and a little over five months. We count every
Speaker 1: single day, so I never do. Know, that's amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll hit a year and a half April. That's amazing, girl,
Speaker 1: that's great. How did you feel? I mean, god, I can,
Speaker 1: and I mean I will say this. I'm a big
Speaker 1: wine drinker and like when I divorce, I didn't drink
Speaker 1: for two months because I was so numb. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to drink. But I mean in those moments, like
Speaker 1: did you find yourself like if I could just like
Speaker 1: have a drinker, you know, Like, was it hard for
Speaker 1: you to stay sober in that tough time? Not at all.
Speaker 1: I leaned further into my sobriety and really started relying
Speaker 1: even more heavily on the program that I'm in and
Speaker 1: where I'm at in my sobriety. Like it gives me
Speaker 1: a pit in my stumming to think about having a
Speaker 1: drink because I know where it leads and you kind
Speaker 1: of being out of control and I know that you know,
Speaker 1: you wake up. And I was already during this situation
Speaker 1: having to manage my emotions and the thought of having
Speaker 1: a drink would make me make it unmanageable, and I
Speaker 1: that sends me into like full panic. So I didn't
Speaker 1: even drinking didn't even cross my mind. Well that's amazing,
Speaker 1: um and okay, so let's give them lalla. It's what
Speaker 1: can people expect reading that book? What does give them
Speaker 1: lalla mean? Like is it just like all of you, like,
Speaker 1: what is it? So give them wala? I first, like,
Speaker 1: did that tagline or whatever you call it? When I
Speaker 1: was doing Bander Pump Rule season five, I had left
Speaker 1: and I was like super vain, you know, and drunk
Speaker 1: all the time and was like if these people what
Speaker 1: they want me? And as I got older, and we'll
Speaker 1: say I evolved somewhat, it was more of like do
Speaker 1: you unapologetically like give them exactly who you are and
Speaker 1: and don't apologize for it. So the book is a
Speaker 1: book of stories. I may have given everyone too much
Speaker 1: lala lala that they couldn't ask for. I definitely overshare,
Speaker 1: but I took woman's that were really defining moments to
Speaker 1: get me to where I am at the age of
Speaker 1: you know, I think we were done with the writing
Speaker 1: process when I was twenty nine or thirty and I'm
Speaker 1: just so proud of this book and what I chose
Speaker 1: to share. And there were so many moments that I
Speaker 1: would have panic attacks, wake up in like cold sweats,
Speaker 1: going what am I doing? Why am I sharing this?
Speaker 1: And you know, specifically the chapter where I speak about
Speaker 1: my abortion, and you know, my manager calling and the
Speaker 1: editor calling saying, I don't know that you're going to
Speaker 1: get the reaction you think you're going to get by
Speaker 1: sharing this, and I was like, I don't care. There
Speaker 1: are so many women who are faced with this decision
Speaker 1: and I need them to know that they're not alone
Speaker 1: and they're not judged, and that was important for me.
Speaker 1: So there's there's so many different aspects to the book
Speaker 1: where you know, whether it's my sobriety choosing abortion, or
Speaker 1: whether I was seven years old coming to the realization
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be an actress. You know, we're
Speaker 1: all over the place. Do you want to write another
Speaker 1: book with everything that happened this last year? That is
Speaker 1: the hope, because I have so you know, I I
Speaker 1: read this book or read back on it, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this feels like a completely different lifetime and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm now a mother, I've now gone through a separation
Speaker 1: I never thought I would go through, and I've just
Speaker 1: learned so much as a person and writing give them
Speaker 1: La La. You know, I was still comfortable to pop
Speaker 1: off and I would wear my emotions on my sleeve,
Speaker 1: and I'm still doing those things. But I would like
Speaker 1: to write another book to show how everything that's happened
Speaker 1: to me has put me in a place of what
Speaker 1: matters and what doesn't? What am I putting my energy into?
Speaker 1: What am I going to disengage with people and realize
Speaker 1: this isn't worth my time? So I feel like a
Speaker 1: whole different person. Yes, the short answer to your question
Speaker 1: about a second book, Yes, I would love to. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I mean I think too. I mean so many people
Speaker 1: are going to want to hear it um and and
Speaker 1: read it. And to the people that say, you know
Speaker 1: the same with me, it's like, oh, you know your
Speaker 1: your daughter is going to see this or your son,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, what my daughter and my
Speaker 1: son are going to say is a really strong mom.
Speaker 1: And they're you know, they're not going to read it
Speaker 1: when they're six years old. They're going to read it
Speaker 1: when they're you know, in high school or out of
Speaker 1: high school, and It's not about them hating, you know,
Speaker 1: we're having any bad feelings. It's about hey, this is
Speaker 1: how strong my mom is and this is what she
Speaker 1: got there. Like that's that's what I'm telling you know,
Speaker 1: and everything else can have a time and place to
Speaker 1: rest all with you know, their their dad or whatever.
Speaker 1: But we all need to have those discussions anyway, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean like you should have
Speaker 1: these discussions eventually with your children, you know, or they're
Speaker 1: just gonna see you all broke up and they're gonna
Speaker 1: have a million questions. So you know, I think that's okay,
Speaker 1: that's okay as long as you're not completely trashing them
Speaker 1: to your kids. I think that, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: as long as you're like, well, daddy did this, and daddy,
Speaker 1: you know whatever, I think you're fine, And I think
Speaker 1: you have conversations with them, and that's just gonna be
Speaker 1: how your reality is and it's going to help a
Speaker 1: lot of people. I was doing this exercise and therapy
Speaker 1: their day where I won't give the whole thing away,
Speaker 1: but it was just about basically all the all the
Speaker 1: pain and trauma and then putting that on something that
Speaker 1: helps grow and you're gonna help other people grow and
Speaker 1: you're gonna help other people you know, um and learn,
Speaker 1: And I just I love that. It's like, that's that's
Speaker 1: why you share. And I love that you're you know,
Speaker 1: in your in your book give them lawa. It's like
Speaker 1: you don't you don't hold back. And I remember my
Speaker 1: editor was like, well, let's wait until you find the man.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want the next book to be
Speaker 1: about how I found love again and how I'm happy.
Speaker 1: It's like I want my happiness to come from within me,
Speaker 1: Like that's the book I want to write, like how
Speaker 1: I found myself after Like not because oh I found
Speaker 1: you know me Andy and are happily in love. Like
Speaker 1: that's not what I want to write about. And I
Speaker 1: think the most interesting book would be about you, you know,
Speaker 1: basically falling back in love with yourself and putting yourself first.
Speaker 1: You know. Are you terrified to date? By the way,
Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm terrified. I just don't think
Speaker 1: I'm ready yet. I don't feel like I have anything
Speaker 1: to offer a person right now. And when I say that,
Speaker 1: I mean any extra time or energy I have. I
Speaker 1: would rather like spread that to the people that are
Speaker 1: already in my life, who had been, who have been
Speaker 1: writer dies for me, I just don't want to invest
Speaker 1: anything into another person going out and bumping gums and
Speaker 1: like talking something like that I can do, but like
Speaker 1: bumping yeah, I love us. No, it's hard because I'm
Speaker 1: in a relationship now and it's like it is very
Speaker 1: strange to be like, oh wow, this is this feels
Speaker 1: different and you know, um it's that's another road being
Speaker 1: in a healthy relationship after a toxic relationship. But that
Speaker 1: could be the next book that can be like we
Speaker 1: want to hear, Like women who are going through this,
Speaker 1: they want to hear that they can do it. They
Speaker 1: want to hear and they can gather in that they're strong,
Speaker 1: that they can do it on their own. They don't
Speaker 1: want to hear about oh, the next relationship, like nobody wants.
Speaker 1: I mean I would read that book, a book about
Speaker 1: just a woman coming back into her own and we
Speaker 1: should write those kinds of books. The sister. Okay, so
Speaker 1: product wise, what's going on? Where can people get all
Speaker 1: the all the goodies that you do? Oh well, we
Speaker 1: have beauty and skin that you can get at give
Speaker 1: them La La dot com. If you have a little baby.
Speaker 1: I have a baby line inspired by Ocean. You can
Speaker 1: get that. I give them La La baby dot com.
Speaker 1: And then the paperback of my book you can get
Speaker 1: wherever books are sold. Give them Lalla, It's all give
Speaker 1: them Lalla gives them La La, Well, La La. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on. Um. I really appreciate
Speaker 1: you being open and authentic and vulnerable and you know,
Speaker 1: just I know for me, like sometimes when I feel
Speaker 1: like I I overshare share, people you know, say like
Speaker 1: shut up or stop talking about it. There are ninety
Speaker 1: nine point the other nine percent of women are so
Speaker 1: thankful that you're sharing your story. So saying that because
Speaker 1: I do read a lot of people telling me, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to process. So if you're not wanting to hear,
Speaker 1: then you need to turn me off. Yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I just like I just don't worry about
Speaker 1: just keep being you and um, you are helping a
Speaker 1: lot of women. So thank you and thanks for coming
Speaker 1: out here. Thank you for having okay. Um, Yes, she
Speaker 1: is so sweet and I feel like we could have
Speaker 1: a really good T date together. T date. Doesn't it
Speaker 1: make you feel good to talk to people like that
Speaker 1: that like to share as much as you do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would feel like that that would feel good, like
Speaker 1: kind of validating, like yes, we're helping people, Like oversharing
Speaker 1: is not necessarily a bad thing. People want all of y'all,
Speaker 1: but then they want to complain at the other you know,
Speaker 1: at the other end. No, it's it's a very um,
Speaker 1: it's very comforting and I love people that do that because, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just feel like, Okay, I'm not alone in what
Speaker 1: I'm wanting to do is help other people. What I'm
Speaker 1: wanting to it's not that I'm that people will be
Speaker 1: like stop talking about it, like Ian must feel so
Speaker 1: embarrassed or and I'm like, he knows that. It has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with Mike. It has everything to do
Speaker 1: with just sharing the story, helping other people acknowledging things
Speaker 1: and maybe their relationship. And but yeah, it's it's very
Speaker 1: comforting to like talk to someone else that thinks them
Speaker 1: is has gone down that road and that is willing
Speaker 1: to talk about it because she's right. Like a lot
Speaker 1: of times it's like, oh no, the guys can go
Speaker 1: do what they want to do, but yet we then
Speaker 1: have to be quiet like no, they can go do
Speaker 1: it publicly and then yeah, but you have to be
Speaker 1: you can. You can blow our world up, and then
Speaker 1: you want us to go say nothing, right m m yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not cool. That's not cool at all. But I
Speaker 1: don't wear it anymore. That's the thing. I don't want
Speaker 1: to wear it anymore. It's not like like my next
Speaker 1: chapter is like moving on, but it's still It's like
Speaker 1: I'm not stuck in it. I just it's just when
Speaker 1: I talk about things, it's just part of the experience. Well,
Speaker 1: and part of your moving on is what you have
Speaker 1: to still tell that part of it, that's what you're
Speaker 1: moving on from, and not even just that. You have
Speaker 1: a lot of things that you've had to move on
Speaker 1: in your life, a lot of experiences, so it's part
Speaker 1: of your story. Mm hmm. I'm just thinking of the
Speaker 1: gossip that I have to tell you off airight now. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: I can't. Oh you know when you go to like
Speaker 1: your hair lady or your last I went to my
Speaker 1: last lady and she was like, oh, I got some
Speaker 1: gossip for you. I was like, because I'm like, my
Speaker 1: life is so drama free now since I'm in a
Speaker 1: healthy relationship. So I'm like I got nothing. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: we'll see you next week.