WEBVTT - A Bird’s Eye View with Lala Kent 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heart radio podcast. 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:09.320 I think we're gonna have a really good show today. Okay, 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.360 we have Lala Kent coming on. Do you watch that 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.200 a little bit? But then I'm sorry saying I just 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.320 ran so I'm like sweating my next game, like you're like, anyway, 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:23.080 I know um a little bit, but I'm not real 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:25.840 like caught up with it. So no, because it's vander 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.960 Pump and I love vander Pump, so it's okay. So 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.640 it's Lisa came off of Lisa, vander Pump came off 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:38.120 of which Housewives house and then it became vander Pump. Well, 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.680 actually I think she had that before she left. It 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:44.040 started while she was still on Housewives, I'm pretty sure. 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.199 And then she went off Housewives and I kept going. 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.640 And she's the one who does like the skinny No, no, 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.520 that's she's the one with all those um bar restaurants 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.640 and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, we went to Pump went. I 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.040 think you did know I wanted to. I don't think 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.040 we did. I want with someone who wanted to go. 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:05.200 I thought it was you know, I think I had 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.560 saying Monica everything, I'm like, I want to go there. 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:11.400 I think there's really cute remember going. I can't remember 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.160 all of them, there are several. Yeah, no, it's super okay. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:18.320 And then and then La La is just um girl 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.800 like on the show as she came on a few seasons. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:24.880 End up belief all the stuff that happened with her husband. 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.120 I mean I saw a lot of the like tabloid stuff, 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:30.640 you know. I mean I saw all the because he 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:34.399 was like in Nashville, right, I think the affair happened 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:36.920 in Nashville. Yeah, I want to. I just remember people 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:39.920 posting like he's being seen in Nashville and you know 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:44.240 all that. You know what, I just don't get which 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.200 so so speaking to that, I wore a shirt for 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.120 Lalla and it says allergic to your bullshit. So that 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:55.920 share is because I feel like us girls understand that. Yeah, um, 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.800 but I I one of the first things I thought 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:03.360 of when I saw that is like, dude, you're an idiot. 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:07.920 Like there's people like you know what I'm saying, Like, 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:12.880 there's people everywhere. Why would you be around other I 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:16.880 just don't think people are that dumb, but clearly they are. 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:19.720 I just think sometimes you just want to get caught. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.560 I'm not saying that, I think I don't know their 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.440 story that well, and I'm not assuming that of him, 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.919 but if you were going to be that in people's faces, 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:30.919 I feel like, deep down somewhere you want to get caught, 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.720 especially if you're somebody I mean my ex would say that. Yeah. 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:38.280 I always thought that about him. Yeah, I mean that 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.120 is a very good point. And even think about that 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:44.040 because I'm just like, I mean, people know who he is. Yeah, 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.680 you know. It's crazy because about like a month before 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:49.840 all that came out, I auditioned for one of his 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:54.400 movies because he's a big producer. Um and one of 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.720 my friends, well not my friends, I knew him like 0:02:57.720 --> 0:02:59.160 way back in the day, but he's a he's a 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.280 you know, a big sir, and um, it was like 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:03.880 with him, so I was like, hey, like I just 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.400 sent him my addition, like do you mind like putting 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:09.280 in a good word to Randall Um? But it's hard 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.520 because it's like, I think he's such a great I mean, 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:15.840 he's a he's a director, he's an amazing producer. So 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:20.880 it's just, you know, it's unfortunate that, um, those are 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:23.840 the headlines when you know, and I feel bad for 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.000 her because she just had a baby, didn't didn't she 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.840 like just have a baby with him. Yeah, I wonder 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.360 how old Riley, how old is her kids? That's one thing. 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:32.360 I first just turned one. I think, Oh it's right, 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.600 she's had both day party. Yeah. Um, so that's like 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:40.119 hard because I'm like a baby so young. So yeah, 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:42.520 I'm just I'm curious, like if she'll like wants to 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:44.160 talk about it or not. Yeah. Well, I don't know 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:45.880 how to like step that because it's like it's weird 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:47.800 because I'm like, as much as I do talk about Max, 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:49.800 I don't want to talk about Max. Does that make sense? Yeah? 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:51.520 And it's like I hate when people ask me because 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.200 I'm like, I don't talk about it and everybody wants 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.160 to talk about it. But I do feel like it's 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:57.160 it's so similar to your story, so it's hard not 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:00.800 to because you'll both had young babies. Yeah, I don't know, 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:05.040 Maybe just just step in and see how it goes. Yeah. 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:08.680 It's interesting though, because what I just said, I'm like, 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:11.240 now I'm like, what a very weird thing I just mentioned. 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:12.920 I don't want to talk about it, but I talked 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:16.360 about it. You really don't want to talk about it? Well, like, okay, 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:19.680 that's to be back. It's when someone like, okay, like 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:21.800 my in laws are in town and my in law's jesus, 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:25.680 my my mom and mother, my mother isn't tough, and 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.880 you know her husband will be like, oh, so, how's 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.360 you know. I'm like, I don't want to talk about Mike, 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.280 you know what I mean, I just don't want to 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:37.200 talk about it. Can we just next topic? You know? Yeah? 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.600 That makes sense? Yeah, and now that makes sense for sure. Yeah, 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:41.400 because I'm just like I talk about I think maybe 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.080 if it's like something I talked about on here, but yeah, 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:45.720 it's it's like something you want to get off your 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.520 chest or want to like kind of talk through. But 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.080 it's when other people are asking and like wanting to 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.000 know stuff, and maybe that's different. I'm like, I don't know. 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.839 Texting you find out like I don't want I don't know, 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.080 I don't talk to him. Why don't you? But yeah, know, 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.159 I mean it's just um. And I was talking to 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.320 someone who I'm working on something with and she goes, 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:10.000 it's interesting, She's like, what I'm finding that you have? 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:13.680 I'm trying to like sugar and dance around this because 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:15.320 I don't want I can't obviously see what I'm doing. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.640 But she's like, it's the stuff that when you don't 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.000 talk about him. I was like, I know. I was like, 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.000 I actually don't want it. It's just the experiences in 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.680 which I like, I talked about him through my experiences 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:26.440 because that was my experience. It felt like I'm talking 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.280 about him as I say. I'm like, because like Hellsmes 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:30.840 will be like, oh, stop talking about I'm like, it's 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:33.480 not about you, not about you at all. It's about 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:38.080 my experience with X, Y and Z. Right, yeah, and 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:40.680 that's I mean, that makes sense. What would you do 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:45.520 if Nick cheated on you? In what regard I want 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.360 to talk about it or just in general? You know, 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:50.000 what would you do? Would you relieve? I mean I 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.080 always said that I would, but I also haven't been 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:54.480 in the position, so I don't want to just you know, 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:58.720 I always said that I definitely would, but again I don't. 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.320 I don't know for sure. It's hard when kids are involved. 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:06.760 I know, it's so hard. Yeah, And then I think of, like, 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:09.239 I know, this is like I'm kind of getting gossipy 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.840 and I hate that. But but I think of like 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.800 Sam Hunt and his wife and she's pregnant. Yeah, like 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:20.279 that's tough. I mean well, and I like when I 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:23.040 saw that, I was like, wow, you are so freaking 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:27.000 strong because I was pregnant with Jace. Why I just 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:30.240 found out about, you know, being pregnant with Jason when 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.919 I caught him before you know who showed up at 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.400 the hotel. So I was like and then I'm calling 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.320 my friend Sarah Bryce, who was like, you can do 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.760 this alone. You can have this baby. I'm like, There's 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.840 no way in hell I can do this alone. Yeah 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.160 I remember, yeah, I remember that very vividly. And then 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:48.320 like she's like no, I'm like, oh my god. I 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:50.880 wish I had the like respect for myself to be like, 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.440 you know what, don't deserve this. My baby doesn't deserve this. 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:58.120 Like I'm I mean, I get trying to but at 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:00.880 the same time, like I loved that. You know, I 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:05.200 think both things are strong, but I mean is independent 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:10.560 as I think that I am. Logistics are hard, Like 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.920 if you just think about getting divorced, and especially if 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.960 you're pregnant, like I got three kids, like what am 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:17.040 I going to do? Or am I going to go? 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:18.960 How am I going to support? Like women think through 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.360 those things, and if you're pregnant, you're in that you're 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.560 gonna be in the hospital by yourself giving birth. Like 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.960 there's a lot of I mean, Sarah did it, yeah, 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.040 you know, like she had her mom, she had her friends, 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.360 like I know so many women that have done it. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.800 I mean, it's possible, and I think that you obviously 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.640 can do it. But I can see where that would 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:40.080 be and I would like to think that I would 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.880 do that if I was in that position. But I 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.280 can see, on the other hand, how that's that's not 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:50.000 an easy to ask either. No, what's going on in 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:52.240 your life. I've just you know, filming film in a 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.080 movie with a c slater super fund that it's freaking 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.680 a c slater. I know. Katherine and I went out 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:01.320 to dinner when the nights after filming, and I go, 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.720 it's kind of cool days later, like I watched it 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:09.400 by the bell, especially when you start whispering, like I know, 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.560 it's like it's totally like our age generation. And then 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.520 when the group of moms comes up to take the 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.920 picture with them and like, yep, y stuff, that's all right, 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:23.640 that's us, hey, ladies, Like that's you and me, all right, well, 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.280 let's take a break and then let's get La la on. 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.160 Hi guys, Hey, what's up. I'm Janna. This is Catherine. Hey, 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:44.400 how are you good? Thank you for having me. Of course, 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:48.400 I'm so excited to have you on the show. I don't, um, 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:53.520 And I'm excited that your book is getting paperback. It's 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:57.280 coming coming. It's like a re re outright, Like I 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:01.080 feel like now I've fully given birth to it. The 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:05.520 process is done. I know, it's a I had written 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:07.840 a book with my ex, so I feel like it's 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.000 um one of those things where it's like once you're 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:13.120 done with it, it's like because then they have it 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:14.720 for nine months and then it takes part and there's 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:16.800 like so much changes in those nine months. I'm like, God, 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:18.520 I wish I would have been able to put this 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:22.480 in or like that in right, Wow, writing a book 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:26.040 with your ex, well, he wasn't my he wasn't my ex. 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:32.160 Then I found out about something again that happened. So 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:37.120 my ex also cheated a bunch um lovely. Yeah, So 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:42.000 I feel very close to you. Unfortunately, Um that matter 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:45.240 because it's just it sucks and it was public and 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:47.400 it's you know, it's just one of those things where 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:52.960 you don't wish that upon like your worst enemy totally. Uh, 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:57.880 you're absolutely right. But I I really applaud you for 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:03.920 how you handled it because you just didn't give in 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:07.120 to like you just you said what was like on 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:10.720 your mind. You spoke your truth, and I was just 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.880 like yes, and I just I loved I loved that 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:15.880 because I don't know, because a lot of people are like, well, 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:17.719 you don't want to say or you know, you can't say. 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.640 It's like no, it's like I just got I just 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.960 saw all this crap and that's not okay. Yeah, you know, 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.200 there were so many moments where people would tell me, 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:31.160 like to to kind of fall back and maybe not 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:35.160 share certain things, and I, you know, from what I 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:38.200 what I know and what I'm sitting on, I chose 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.880 to share such a tiny, teeny piece of what happened. 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.360 And everyone's saying, you know, you have a daughter to protect. Well, 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:49.280 yes I do, and I've been doing that. But I'm 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:52.680 addressing this publicly because he decided to step out on 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:57.400 me publicly and he didn't think about protecting ocean or me. 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.320 So why are you looking at the woman like, no, 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.839 be quiet, don't say anything. That. M No. I mean, 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.400 I completely agree with you. And there's a lot of 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.480 times too, like because we do talk a lot about 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:15.040 infidelity on the show and my ex and I don't 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.160 know if you got it from your X at all, 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:19.720 but like I know my axes, like stopped playing the victim, 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:21.720 you know, stop talking about it, and I'm like, I'm 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.680 not actually even talking about you anymore. I'm talking about 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.160 my experiences and what I went through and the you know, 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.640 the abuse and the manipulation, Like that's what I'm talking 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.240 about now, and how I got to the other side. 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:36.160 And yes, yes, I was a victim of it, you know. Yeah, 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.800 that that's such like a narcissistic thing to say, like 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:44.280 they put you through hell in every aspect and then 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.560 make you feel like you should be quiet and you're 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:50.600 not a victim and you made mistakes too, And it's like, 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.160 mm hmmm, let's pump the brakes. You're you're not going 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:57.600 to twist this on me. And we're allowed to talk 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:01.679 about our experiences and people doing us dirty because there's 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:05.320 many women out there who are dealing with the same thing. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:10.480 And to see someone on your platform or mind go 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:15.079 through it, it's relatable. It makes women feel less alone, 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.920 and that is my job. It's why I do reality 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.320 TV because I want people to feel that they are 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:26.040 not alone. M hm is there something like I know, 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.840 women reach out to me and they're like, you know, 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:30.800 they asked, like the red flags or how did you 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.679 know like in your gut? Because and when I think, 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:35.679 I'm like when I look or you know, feel back 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.640 to my gut, im like I knew something was going on, 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.480 I just didn't want to really believe it. And then 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:42.960 my friends and then my friend then the other part 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:44.960 of my gut was like no, like everything's great, and 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.040 my friends are like you guys are you're You're they 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.960 wanted to shake me, you know, like what of course 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.400 it's not good. So like, did you ever have those 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.600 moments where we were just like you kind of knew 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:56.160 something was off, but you didn't want to believe it. 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:02.199 I love that you asked this question because I go 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.840 back and now with the bird's eye view, Yes, there 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.720 were red flags everywhere. When I was in it, I 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:13.880 knew that I was in a toxic environment, but I 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:18.640 felt like I was creating it. I was so triggered 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.640 by that person all the time that I felt and 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.720 He made me feel like I needed to go to 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:28.760 therapy to work on myself and let go of certain things, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:33.840 or maybe I had childhood trauma and you know that, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.520 that was my intuition, going this person is dirty, you 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.840 gotta get away. But in my mind, I was like, 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:43.120 he's such a great guy, like I would have put 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:47.560 Ocean's life on him, never creeping around on me. How 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:55.360 sick is that? How sick is that? And even when 0:13:55.440 --> 0:14:02.640 those photos surfaced and I was take it back, there 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:06.000 were a couple of days before the photo surface that 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:10.240 I had been getting messages about him at a bar, 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.840 not acting the way a partner should act. He made 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:17.920 me feel crazy. Keep in mind he wouldn't show me 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:22.240 his hotel room, and I thought that was very strange. 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.520 I was triggered, and he said we need to get 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.880 into a therapy session like immediately. So that of course, 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.080 he makes you feel like you're the crazy one for 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:35.680 wanting to like see the Yes, this man had he 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.200 do a therapy session via zoom. He was somewhere else. 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.640 I was in l A and the whole time he 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.040 was with the girl that he was in a relationship 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:52.800 with since March. Wow, it's just like first I'm really 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:55.400 sorry that that it was a part of your experience. 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.960 But it's also just baffling to me, like when I 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.040 when I hear that, when I back on things that 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:03.560 like my X would say, and it's like they just 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:06.480 make you feel to this day, like I'm in therapy 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.000 and I'm like, am I crazy? Like am I the 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.760 one that's like like, well I did yell? You know, 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.000 and like you just you hear their voice so much 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.040 and like in your head that like make you question 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:21.520 your reality and because they've just programmed you to believe that, 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.400 like they're you're the reason why they were acting out 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.280 or you're the reason why they did X, Y and Z, 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:29.680 and you're the reason why you know, they feel the way, 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.080 and it's like it's your faults and and then you 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.640 like it's literally been like a year of therapy going 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:37.000 on retraining your brain. You go, oh wait, it's no, 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:39.880 it actually wasn't my fault, Like, yes, my reactions were 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:42.960 a little psycho because he was cheating and I was 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.320 trying to control and like you know, but I was. 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.960 It's just it's maddening to me. It is and I 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:53.320 saw I saw this thing online the other day, Um, 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:57.360 I follow a lot of narcissist account same girlfriends say 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.640 we need to follow each other because I post a lot. 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:05.720 Let's do that, And it was how a narcisist will 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.920 say that you made mistakes, and yes, the mistakes that 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:14.520 we've made are just mistakes, because we're human beings. Every 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.440 party is going to make mistakes in a relationship. What 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:22.040 they did, that's not a mistake. That's called in my situation, 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:26.080 I believe you are inherently evil. Yes I've made mistakes. 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:29.160 I'm a person, but you're not gonna make me feel 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:33.240 like what I did was the cause of you going out. 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:37.640 And those aren't mistakes. Let's make that very very clear. 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:40.360 What they did and what we have done are two 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:44.160 very different things. Have you gotten the apology that you 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:49.840 deserve when trust is gone and someone can't own up 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.200 and the and they they continue to keep the mask on. 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:56.280 It's very intriguing. It's very intriguing when you see a 0:16:56.320 --> 0:17:00.480 person for exactly who they are and they think that 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.800 you don't know who they are, and you watch them 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:11.640 do their little game. It is like jaw dropping. So 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:18.640 I don't need an apology, want one, because everything that 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:25.440 that person says is just covered in bullshit you I 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.280 don't have to deal with it anymore. And that is 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.040 you know, now now I can go out and I 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.680 can enjoy the fact that, like my paperback is out 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.520 with the national best seller sticker on it. I can 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.800 enjoy the fact that I have a beauty brand, that 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.639 I have a podcast. I'm not in this heavy situation 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:47.240 where I can't enjoy the things I've accomplished in my life. 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.760 And yeah, that's like that's the greatest thing when you 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.720 can get to that point, because I remember recently getting 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.399 there being like I don't even want one because I 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.199 wouldn't even know if I believe it. And where you 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:02.199 just like to be able to shed that into like 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.240 just feel so free and so light and not to 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.800 worry or be like, oh I wonder who they're texting 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.200 or where they're at today or it's just like such 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:11.720 a And yeah, like you said, to be able to 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.520 focus on ocean, to be able to focus on your work, 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:16.840 and like now you get to spread and help other 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:20.280 women with you know, unfortunately what you went through, but 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.520 I promise you like it's and then you know this too, 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.119 it's like things are going to bloom so much bigger 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:29.800 and beautiful and brighter because like you're not holding onto 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:34.679 that darkness anymore. That's exactly what it is. I have 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:39.520 been living in a world that I just became comfortable with. 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:43.879 It was like this is just normal. And now I'm 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.199 out here looking at this amazing world that I've been 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:51.920 missing out on for six years. And you know, freedom 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.680 is amazing, and people don't. You know, there's so many 0:18:56.720 --> 0:19:02.240 ways that a relationship can keep you down, and it 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:06.600 could just be you know, dimming your light. And I 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.560 finally feel like, Okay, I look in the mirror and 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:15.840 I recognize this person, Like I'm fully back. That's awesome. 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:29.600 What would you say to other women that are kind 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.479 of feeling stuck or that have gone through the same situation, like, 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.439 because I know for me and my or my friends, 0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:38.119 like they've tried to shake me a million times to 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:40.520 say like open your eyes, see it. But I feel 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:42.720 like it's almost like you have to be the person 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.160 to walk away. But is there something that you wish 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:52.840 maybe somebody said to you. That's a hard question because 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:58.080 I feel like that person came into my life for 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:01.800 one purpose and one purpose only, and that was Ocean 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:03.760 was meant to be here. If I don't look at 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:09.800 it that way, I will drive myself insane. Um. So 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.720 because of that, I can say, you know, I don't 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:17.760 regret the past six years because I have this incredible baby. 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.480 But any woman who's feeling stuck or they feel like 0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.040 they want to get out, this is gonna make me 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:30.639 emotional because I've been in that situation where I'm like, 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.439 I'm stuck and I can't do it until I was 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:39.280 forced to do it, And you can't hm everything will 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:44.960 be okay that I can promise you'll be better than ever. 0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:48.199 It will be a shock, but in those moments, you 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:52.440 realize your strength and no one can take that away 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:56.080 from you. After you find that within you and you 0:20:56.200 --> 0:21:01.840 make the jump and you get out, you are unbreakable. 0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:07.280 When you experience moments like that, Yeah, I mean I 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:12.240 definitely feel that. I mean, yeah, being feeling that brokenness 0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:15.280 and then you know, Catherine Um was with me the 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.919 well that night and then the next day when I 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:19.639 filed for divorce and I'm like, happen, I don't know 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:21.520 how to how I'm gonna get up, And it's like 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:24.040 you find the strength that you don't even know you have, 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:26.960 and it's like as broken as you are, Like, it's 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.560 so much more beautiful on the other side. You couldn't 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:32.320 even imagine. I would have never, in my wildest dreams 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.280 imagined that, Like how beautiful it can be on the 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:38.600 other side, and like how much like I love myself 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:40.800 more now than I love myself the last seven years 0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:46.360 of my marriage. Oh I love that. Yeah, because you've 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:50.239 taken yourself back. What do you think as a friend? Well, 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:52.959 I was going to say it's it's interesting because I've 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:55.280 not been in y'all's position, so I'm kind of letting y'all, 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:59.920 but as the outsider seeing it, excuse me. First of all, 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:02.800 you'll have to you have to see it on your own. 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:05.120 That is one thing I've learned as a friend. You 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:09.080 can sit there and say do this, I would do that. 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:10.760 You know, there were a lot of questions, what would 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:12.760 you do if your husband did this? What would you do? 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.159 But it doesn't matter. You have to see it for 0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:18.800 yourself and whether you're forced into that position, which essentially 0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:20.840 you were too. I mean you'll were both kind of 0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:25.160 forced into this place. For that it had to go away, 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.320 you know, I mean you made the decision, but at 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:30.840 the same time you were forced into that decision, you'all 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:34.639