1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heart radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have a really good show today. Okay, 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: we have Lala Kent coming on. Do you watch that 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: a little bit? But then I'm sorry saying I just 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: ran so I'm like sweating my next game, like you're like, anyway, 6 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: I know um a little bit, but I'm not real 7 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: like caught up with it. So no, because it's vander 8 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: Pump and I love vander Pump, so it's okay. So 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: it's Lisa came off of Lisa, vander Pump came off 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: of which Housewives house and then it became vander Pump. Well, 11 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: actually I think she had that before she left. It 12 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: started while she was still on Housewives, I'm pretty sure. 13 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: And then she went off Housewives and I kept going. 14 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: And she's the one who does like the skinny No, no, 15 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: that's she's the one with all those um bar restaurants 16 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, we went to Pump went. I 17 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: think you did know I wanted to. I don't think 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: we did. I want with someone who wanted to go. 19 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: I thought it was you know, I think I had 20 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: saying Monica everything, I'm like, I want to go there. 21 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: I think there's really cute remember going. I can't remember 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: all of them, there are several. Yeah, no, it's super okay. 23 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: And then and then La La is just um girl 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: like on the show as she came on a few seasons. 25 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: End up belief all the stuff that happened with her husband. 26 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: I mean I saw a lot of the like tabloid stuff, 27 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: you know. I mean I saw all the because he 28 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: was like in Nashville, right, I think the affair happened 29 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: in Nashville. Yeah, I want to. I just remember people 30 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: posting like he's being seen in Nashville and you know 31 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: all that. You know what, I just don't get which 32 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: so so speaking to that, I wore a shirt for 33 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: Lalla and it says allergic to your bullshit. So that 34 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: share is because I feel like us girls understand that. Yeah, um, 35 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: but I I one of the first things I thought 36 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: of when I saw that is like, dude, you're an idiot. 37 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: Like there's people like you know what I'm saying, Like, 38 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: there's people everywhere. Why would you be around other I 39 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: just don't think people are that dumb, but clearly they are. 40 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: I just think sometimes you just want to get caught. 41 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, I think I don't know their 42 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: story that well, and I'm not assuming that of him, 43 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: but if you were going to be that in people's faces, 44 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: I feel like, deep down somewhere you want to get caught, 45 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: especially if you're somebody I mean my ex would say that. Yeah. 46 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: I always thought that about him. Yeah, I mean that 47 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: is a very good point. And even think about that 48 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: because I'm just like, I mean, people know who he is. Yeah, 49 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: you know. It's crazy because about like a month before 50 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: all that came out, I auditioned for one of his 51 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: movies because he's a big producer. Um and one of 52 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: my friends, well not my friends, I knew him like 53 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: way back in the day, but he's a he's a 54 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: you know, a big sir, and um, it was like 55 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: with him, so I was like, hey, like I just 56 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: sent him my addition, like do you mind like putting 57 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: in a good word to Randall Um? But it's hard 58 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: because it's like, I think he's such a great I mean, 59 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: he's a he's a director, he's an amazing producer. So 60 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: it's just, you know, it's unfortunate that, um, those are 61 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: the headlines when you know, and I feel bad for 62 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: her because she just had a baby, didn't didn't she 63 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: like just have a baby with him. Yeah, I wonder 64 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: how old Riley, how old is her kids? That's one thing. 65 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: I first just turned one. I think, Oh it's right, 66 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: she's had both day party. Yeah. Um, so that's like 67 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:40,119 Speaker 1: hard because I'm like a baby so young. So yeah, 68 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm curious, like if she'll like wants to 69 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: talk about it or not. Yeah. Well, I don't know 70 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: how to like step that because it's like it's weird 71 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: because I'm like, as much as I do talk about Max, 72 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about Max. Does that make sense? Yeah? 73 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: And it's like I hate when people ask me because 74 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't talk about it and everybody wants 75 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: to talk about it. But I do feel like it's 76 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: it's so similar to your story, so it's hard not 77 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: to because you'll both had young babies. Yeah, I don't know, 78 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: Maybe just just step in and see how it goes. Yeah. 79 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: It's interesting though, because what I just said, I'm like, 80 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: now I'm like, what a very weird thing I just mentioned. 81 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it, but I talked 82 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: about it. You really don't want to talk about it? Well, like, okay, 83 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: that's to be back. It's when someone like, okay, like 84 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: my in laws are in town and my in law's jesus, 85 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: my my mom and mother, my mother isn't tough, and 86 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: you know her husband will be like, oh, so, how's 87 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: you know. I'm like, I don't want to talk about Mike, 88 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I just don't want to 89 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: talk about it. Can we just next topic? You know? Yeah? 90 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: That makes sense? Yeah, and now that makes sense for sure. Yeah, 91 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: because I'm just like I talk about I think maybe 92 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: if it's like something I talked about on here, but yeah, 93 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: it's it's like something you want to get off your 94 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: chest or want to like kind of talk through. But 95 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: it's when other people are asking and like wanting to 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: know stuff, and maybe that's different. I'm like, I don't know. 97 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: Texting you find out like I don't want I don't know, 98 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: I don't talk to him. Why don't you? But yeah, know, 99 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: I mean it's just um. And I was talking to 100 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: someone who I'm working on something with and she goes, 101 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: it's interesting, She's like, what I'm finding that you have? 102 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: I'm trying to like sugar and dance around this because 103 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: I don't want I can't obviously see what I'm doing. 104 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: But she's like, it's the stuff that when you don't 105 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: talk about him. I was like, I know. I was like, 106 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: I actually don't want it. It's just the experiences in 107 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: which I like, I talked about him through my experiences 108 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: because that was my experience. It felt like I'm talking 109 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 1: about him as I say. I'm like, because like Hellsmes 110 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:30,840 Speaker 1: will be like, oh, stop talking about I'm like, it's 111 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: not about you, not about you at all. It's about 112 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: my experience with X, Y and Z. Right, yeah, and 113 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: that's I mean, that makes sense. What would you do 114 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: if Nick cheated on you? In what regard I want 115 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: to talk about it or just in general? You know, 116 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: what would you do? Would you relieve? I mean I 117 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: always said that I would, but I also haven't been 118 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 1: in the position, so I don't want to just you know, 119 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: I always said that I definitely would, but again I don't. 120 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: I don't know for sure. It's hard when kids are involved. 121 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: I know, it's so hard. Yeah, And then I think of, like, 122 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,239 Speaker 1: I know, this is like I'm kind of getting gossipy 123 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 1: and I hate that. But but I think of like 124 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: Sam Hunt and his wife and she's pregnant. Yeah, like 125 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean well, and I like when I 126 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: saw that, I was like, wow, you are so freaking 127 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: strong because I was pregnant with Jace. Why I just 128 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: found out about, you know, being pregnant with Jason when 129 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,919 Speaker 1: I caught him before you know who showed up at 130 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: the hotel. So I was like and then I'm calling 131 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: my friend Sarah Bryce, who was like, you can do 132 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: this alone. You can have this baby. I'm like, There's 133 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 1: no way in hell I can do this alone. Yeah 134 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: I remember, yeah, I remember that very vividly. And then 135 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: like she's like no, I'm like, oh my god. I 136 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: wish I had the like respect for myself to be like, 137 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: you know what, don't deserve this. My baby doesn't deserve this. 138 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: Like I'm I mean, I get trying to but at 139 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: the same time, like I loved that. You know, I 140 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: think both things are strong, but I mean is independent 141 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: as I think that I am. Logistics are hard, Like 142 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: if you just think about getting divorced, and especially if 143 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: you're pregnant, like I got three kids, like what am 144 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: I going to do? Or am I going to go? 145 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: How am I going to support? Like women think through 146 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: those things, and if you're pregnant, you're in that you're 147 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: gonna be in the hospital by yourself giving birth. Like 148 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: there's a lot of I mean, Sarah did it, yeah, 149 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: you know, like she had her mom, she had her friends, 150 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: like I know so many women that have done it. 151 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: I mean, it's possible, and I think that you obviously 152 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: can do it. But I can see where that would 153 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: be and I would like to think that I would 154 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: do that if I was in that position. But I 155 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: can see, on the other hand, how that's that's not 156 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: an easy to ask either. No, what's going on in 157 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: your life. I've just you know, filming film in a 158 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: movie with a c slater super fund that it's freaking 159 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: a c slater. I know. Katherine and I went out 160 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: to dinner when the nights after filming, and I go, 161 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: it's kind of cool days later, like I watched it 162 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: by the bell, especially when you start whispering, like I know, 163 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: it's like it's totally like our age generation. And then 164 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: when the group of moms comes up to take the 165 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: picture with them and like, yep, y stuff, that's all right, 166 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: that's us, hey, ladies, Like that's you and me, all right, well, 167 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: let's take a break and then let's get La la on. 168 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hey, what's up. I'm Janna. This is Catherine. Hey, 169 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: how are you good? Thank you for having me. Of course, 170 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you on the show. I don't, um, 171 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: And I'm excited that your book is getting paperback. It's 172 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: coming coming. It's like a re re outright, Like I 173 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: feel like now I've fully given birth to it. The 174 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: process is done. I know, it's a I had written 175 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: a book with my ex, so I feel like it's 176 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: um one of those things where it's like once you're 177 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: done with it, it's like because then they have it 178 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: for nine months and then it takes part and there's 179 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: like so much changes in those nine months. I'm like, God, 180 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: I wish I would have been able to put this 181 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: in or like that in right, Wow, writing a book 182 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: with your ex, well, he wasn't my he wasn't my ex. 183 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: Then I found out about something again that happened. So 184 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: my ex also cheated a bunch um lovely. Yeah, So 185 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: I feel very close to you. Unfortunately, Um that matter 186 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: because it's just it sucks and it was public and 187 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: it's you know, it's just one of those things where 188 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: you don't wish that upon like your worst enemy totally. Uh, 189 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. But I I really applaud you for 190 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: how you handled it because you just didn't give in 191 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: to like you just you said what was like on 192 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: your mind. You spoke your truth, and I was just 193 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: like yes, and I just I loved I loved that 194 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: because I don't know, because a lot of people are like, well, 195 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,719 Speaker 1: you don't want to say or you know, you can't say. 196 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: It's like no, it's like I just got I just 197 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: saw all this crap and that's not okay. Yeah, you know, 198 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: there were so many moments where people would tell me, 199 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: like to to kind of fall back and maybe not 200 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: share certain things, and I, you know, from what I 201 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 1: what I know and what I'm sitting on, I chose 202 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: to share such a tiny, teeny piece of what happened. 203 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: And everyone's saying, you know, you have a daughter to protect. Well, 204 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 1: yes I do, and I've been doing that. But I'm 205 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: addressing this publicly because he decided to step out on 206 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: me publicly and he didn't think about protecting ocean or me. 207 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: So why are you looking at the woman like, no, 208 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:06,839 Speaker 1: be quiet, don't say anything. That. M No. I mean, 209 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: I completely agree with you. And there's a lot of 210 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: times too, like because we do talk a lot about 211 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: infidelity on the show and my ex and I don't 212 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: know if you got it from your X at all, 213 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: but like I know my axes, like stopped playing the victim, 214 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: you know, stop talking about it, and I'm like, I'm 215 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,680 Speaker 1: not actually even talking about you anymore. I'm talking about 216 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: my experiences and what I went through and the you know, 217 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: the abuse and the manipulation, Like that's what I'm talking 218 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: about now, and how I got to the other side. 219 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: And yes, yes, I was a victim of it, you know. Yeah, 220 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: that that's such like a narcissistic thing to say, like 221 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: they put you through hell in every aspect and then 222 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: make you feel like you should be quiet and you're 223 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: not a victim and you made mistakes too, And it's like, 224 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: mm hmmm, let's pump the brakes. You're you're not going 225 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: to twist this on me. And we're allowed to talk 226 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 1: about our experiences and people doing us dirty because there's 227 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: many women out there who are dealing with the same thing. 228 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: And to see someone on your platform or mind go 229 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 1: through it, it's relatable. It makes women feel less alone, 230 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: and that is my job. It's why I do reality 231 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: TV because I want people to feel that they are 232 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: not alone. M hm is there something like I know, 233 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: women reach out to me and they're like, you know, 234 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: they asked, like the red flags or how did you 235 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: know like in your gut? Because and when I think, 236 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: I'm like when I look or you know, feel back 237 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: to my gut, im like I knew something was going on, 238 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: I just didn't want to really believe it. And then 239 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: my friends and then my friend then the other part 240 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 1: of my gut was like no, like everything's great, and 241 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: my friends are like you guys are you're You're they 242 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: wanted to shake me, you know, like what of course 243 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: it's not good. So like, did you ever have those 244 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: moments where we were just like you kind of knew 245 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: something was off, but you didn't want to believe it. 246 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 1: I love that you asked this question because I go 247 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: back and now with the bird's eye view, Yes, there 248 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: were red flags everywhere. When I was in it, I 249 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: knew that I was in a toxic environment, but I 250 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: felt like I was creating it. I was so triggered 251 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 1: by that person all the time that I felt and 252 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: He made me feel like I needed to go to 253 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: therapy to work on myself and let go of certain things, 254 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: or maybe I had childhood trauma and you know that, 255 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: that was my intuition, going this person is dirty, you 256 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 1: gotta get away. But in my mind, I was like, 257 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: he's such a great guy, like I would have put 258 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 1: Ocean's life on him, never creeping around on me. How 259 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: sick is that? How sick is that? And even when 260 00:13:55,440 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: those photos surfaced and I was take it back, there 261 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: were a couple of days before the photo surface that 262 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: I had been getting messages about him at a bar, 263 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: not acting the way a partner should act. He made 264 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: me feel crazy. Keep in mind he wouldn't show me 265 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: his hotel room, and I thought that was very strange. 266 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: I was triggered, and he said we need to get 267 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: into a therapy session like immediately. So that of course, 268 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: he makes you feel like you're the crazy one for 269 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: wanting to like see the Yes, this man had he 270 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: do a therapy session via zoom. He was somewhere else. 271 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: I was in l A and the whole time he 272 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: was with the girl that he was in a relationship 273 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 1: with since March. Wow, it's just like first I'm really 274 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: sorry that that it was a part of your experience. 275 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: But it's also just baffling to me, like when I 276 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: when I hear that, when I back on things that 277 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: like my X would say, and it's like they just 278 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: make you feel to this day, like I'm in therapy 279 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 1: and I'm like, am I crazy? Like am I the 280 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: one that's like like, well I did yell? You know, 281 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: and like you just you hear their voice so much 282 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: and like in your head that like make you question 283 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 1: your reality and because they've just programmed you to believe that, 284 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: like they're you're the reason why they were acting out 285 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: or you're the reason why they did X, Y and Z, 286 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: and you're the reason why you know, they feel the way, 287 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: and it's like it's your faults and and then you 288 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: like it's literally been like a year of therapy going 289 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: on retraining your brain. You go, oh wait, it's no, 290 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: it actually wasn't my fault, Like, yes, my reactions were 291 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: a little psycho because he was cheating and I was 292 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 1: trying to control and like you know, but I was. 293 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: It's just it's maddening to me. It is and I 294 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: saw I saw this thing online the other day, Um, 295 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: I follow a lot of narcissist account same girlfriends say 296 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: we need to follow each other because I post a lot. 297 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 1: Let's do that, And it was how a narcisist will 298 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: say that you made mistakes, and yes, the mistakes that 299 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: we've made are just mistakes, because we're human beings. Every 300 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: party is going to make mistakes in a relationship. What 301 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: they did, that's not a mistake. That's called in my situation, 302 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: I believe you are inherently evil. Yes I've made mistakes. 303 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: I'm a person, but you're not gonna make me feel 304 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: like what I did was the cause of you going out. 305 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: And those aren't mistakes. Let's make that very very clear. 306 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: What they did and what we have done are two 307 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: very different things. Have you gotten the apology that you 308 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: deserve when trust is gone and someone can't own up 309 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 1: and the and they they continue to keep the mask on. 310 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: It's very intriguing. It's very intriguing when you see a 311 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 1: person for exactly who they are and they think that 312 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: you don't know who they are, and you watch them 313 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: do their little game. It is like jaw dropping. So 314 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:18,640 Speaker 1: I don't need an apology, want one, because everything that 315 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: that person says is just covered in bullshit you I 316 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: don't have to deal with it anymore. And that is 317 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 1: you know, now now I can go out and I 318 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: can enjoy the fact that, like my paperback is out 319 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: with the national best seller sticker on it. I can 320 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: enjoy the fact that I have a beauty brand, that 321 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: I have a podcast. I'm not in this heavy situation 322 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: where I can't enjoy the things I've accomplished in my life. 323 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: And yeah, that's like that's the greatest thing when you 324 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 1: can get to that point, because I remember recently getting 325 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: there being like I don't even want one because I 326 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,199 Speaker 1: wouldn't even know if I believe it. And where you 327 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 1: just like to be able to shed that into like 328 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: just feel so free and so light and not to 329 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: worry or be like, oh I wonder who they're texting 330 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: or where they're at today or it's just like such 331 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 1: a And yeah, like you said, to be able to 332 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: focus on ocean, to be able to focus on your work, 333 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: and like now you get to spread and help other 334 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: women with you know, unfortunately what you went through, but 335 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 1: I promise you like it's and then you know this too, 336 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: it's like things are going to bloom so much bigger 337 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: and beautiful and brighter because like you're not holding onto 338 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 1: that darkness anymore. That's exactly what it is. I have 339 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: been living in a world that I just became comfortable with. 340 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: It was like this is just normal. And now I'm 341 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 1: out here looking at this amazing world that I've been 342 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: missing out on for six years. And you know, freedom 343 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: is amazing, and people don't. You know, there's so many 344 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: ways that a relationship can keep you down, and it 345 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: could just be you know, dimming your light. And I 346 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: finally feel like, Okay, I look in the mirror and 347 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: I recognize this person, Like I'm fully back. That's awesome. 348 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: What would you say to other women that are kind 349 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,479 Speaker 1: of feeling stuck or that have gone through the same situation, like, 350 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 1: because I know for me and my or my friends, 351 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: like they've tried to shake me a million times to 352 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 1: say like open your eyes, see it. But I feel 353 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: like it's almost like you have to be the person 354 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 1: to walk away. But is there something that you wish 355 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: maybe somebody said to you. That's a hard question because 356 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: I feel like that person came into my life for 357 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: one purpose and one purpose only, and that was Ocean 358 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: was meant to be here. If I don't look at 359 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:09,800 Speaker 1: it that way, I will drive myself insane. Um. So 360 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: because of that, I can say, you know, I don't 361 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: regret the past six years because I have this incredible baby. 362 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: But any woman who's feeling stuck or they feel like 363 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: they want to get out, this is gonna make me 364 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 1: emotional because I've been in that situation where I'm like, 365 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,439 Speaker 1: I'm stuck and I can't do it until I was 366 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 1: forced to do it, And you can't hm everything will 367 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: be okay that I can promise you'll be better than ever. 368 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: It will be a shock, but in those moments, you 369 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,440 Speaker 1: realize your strength and no one can take that away 370 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: from you. After you find that within you and you 371 00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: make the jump and you get out, you are unbreakable. 372 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: When you experience moments like that, Yeah, I mean I 373 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: definitely feel that. I mean, yeah, being feeling that brokenness 374 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 1: and then you know, Catherine Um was with me the 375 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 1: well that night and then the next day when I 376 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 1: filed for divorce and I'm like, happen, I don't know 377 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: how to how I'm gonna get up, And it's like 378 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 1: you find the strength that you don't even know you have, 379 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: and it's like as broken as you are, Like, it's 380 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: so much more beautiful on the other side. You couldn't 381 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: even imagine. I would have never, in my wildest dreams 382 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: imagined that, Like how beautiful it can be on the 383 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 1: other side, and like how much like I love myself 384 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: more now than I love myself the last seven years 385 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 1: of my marriage. Oh I love that. Yeah, because you've 386 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,239 Speaker 1: taken yourself back. What do you think as a friend? Well, 387 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,959 Speaker 1: I was going to say it's it's interesting because I've 388 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: not been in y'all's position, so I'm kind of letting y'all, 389 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 1: but as the outsider seeing it, excuse me. First of all, 390 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: you'll have to you have to see it on your own. 391 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: That is one thing I've learned as a friend. You 392 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: can sit there and say do this, I would do that. 393 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: You know, there were a lot of questions, what would 394 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: you do if your husband did this? What would you do? 395 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,159 Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter. You have to see it for 396 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: yourself and whether you're forced into that position, which essentially 397 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: you were too. I mean you'll were both kind of 398 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 1: forced into this place. For that it had to go away, 399 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: you know, I mean you made the decision, but at 400 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: the same time you were forced into that decision, you'all 401 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 1: would have never have seen that for yourself, you know 402 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: what I mean. I just I think you eat, whether 403 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 1: you're forced or you make the decision or whatever it is, 404 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: you have to see it for yourself. I yeah, I 405 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: agree with that, and I think it's hard because even 406 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,199 Speaker 1: you've mentioned other friends going through and you're like, oh 407 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: my gosh, I just want to shake them. Is this 408 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: how you felt when this was going on? And it's like, yes, 409 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: but again you have to understand that they have to 410 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: see it for themselves or there you're not going to 411 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: get anywhere. Well, it's kind of like getting like watching 412 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: someone in an addiction. You can get someone sober, you 413 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: can't get someone to leave their their toxic partner. Like 414 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: people have to come to that on their own. We 415 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,239 Speaker 1: had those discussions before she filed. Janna would say like, 416 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 1: this is my addiction and it really kind of made 417 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: me see that too, and how to kind of handle 418 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: you a little bit in it, like and yes, I 419 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 1: was a little bit of the tough love, but like 420 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: I had an addict mother where I kind of had 421 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,919 Speaker 1: to play tough love as well, and so it is 422 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: very much like an addiction, very similar, m, how long 423 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 1: have you been sober for I've been sober for three 424 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: years and a little over five months. We count every 425 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 1: single day, so I never do. Know, that's amazing. Yeah, 426 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: I'll hit a year and a half April. That's amazing, girl, 427 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: that's great. How did you feel? I mean, god, I can, 428 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: and I mean I will say this. I'm a big 429 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: wine drinker and like when I divorce, I didn't drink 430 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 1: for two months because I was so numb. I didn't 431 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: want to drink. But I mean in those moments, like 432 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: did you find yourself like if I could just like 433 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 1: have a drinker, you know, Like, was it hard for 434 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: you to stay sober in that tough time? Not at all. 435 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: I leaned further into my sobriety and really started relying 436 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: even more heavily on the program that I'm in and 437 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 1: where I'm at in my sobriety. Like it gives me 438 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,199 Speaker 1: a pit in my stumming to think about having a 439 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 1: drink because I know where it leads and you kind 440 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 1: of being out of control and I know that you know, 441 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: you wake up. And I was already during this situation 442 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: having to manage my emotions and the thought of having 443 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 1: a drink would make me make it unmanageable, and I 444 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: that sends me into like full panic. So I didn't 445 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: even drinking didn't even cross my mind. Well that's amazing, 446 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: um and okay, so let's give them lalla. It's what 447 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,360 Speaker 1: can people expect reading that book? What does give them 448 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 1: lalla mean? Like is it just like all of you, like, 449 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: what is it? So give them wala? I first, like, 450 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: did that tagline or whatever you call it? When I 451 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: was doing Bander Pump Rule season five, I had left 452 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: and I was like super vain, you know, and drunk 453 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: all the time and was like if these people what 454 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: they want me? And as I got older, and we'll 455 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: say I evolved somewhat, it was more of like do 456 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,680 Speaker 1: you unapologetically like give them exactly who you are and 457 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 1: and don't apologize for it. So the book is a 458 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: book of stories. I may have given everyone too much 459 00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 1: lala lala that they couldn't ask for. I definitely overshare, 460 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,159 Speaker 1: but I took woman's that were really defining moments to 461 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: get me to where I am at the age of 462 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 1: you know, I think we were done with the writing 463 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: process when I was twenty nine or thirty and I'm 464 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: just so proud of this book and what I chose 465 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: to share. And there were so many moments that I 466 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 1: would have panic attacks, wake up in like cold sweats, 467 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 1: going what am I doing? Why am I sharing this? 468 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: And you know, specifically the chapter where I speak about 469 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 1: my abortion, and you know, my manager calling and the 470 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: editor calling saying, I don't know that you're going to 471 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: get the reaction you think you're going to get by 472 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 1: sharing this, and I was like, I don't care. There 473 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: are so many women who are faced with this decision 474 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,879 Speaker 1: and I need them to know that they're not alone 475 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: and they're not judged, and that was important for me. 476 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 1: So there's there's so many different aspects to the book 477 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 1: where you know, whether it's my sobriety choosing abortion, or 478 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: whether I was seven years old coming to the realization 479 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 1: that I wanted to be an actress. You know, we're 480 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: all over the place. Do you want to write another 481 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 1: book with everything that happened this last year? That is 482 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 1: the hope, because I have so you know, I I 483 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,159 Speaker 1: read this book or read back on it, and I'm like, 484 00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: this feels like a completely different lifetime and you know, 485 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,879 Speaker 1: I'm now a mother, I've now gone through a separation 486 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,719 Speaker 1: I never thought I would go through, and I've just 487 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: learned so much as a person and writing give them 488 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 1: La La. You know, I was still comfortable to pop 489 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: off and I would wear my emotions on my sleeve, 490 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: and I'm still doing those things. But I would like 491 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: to write another book to show how everything that's happened 492 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: to me has put me in a place of what 493 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,399 Speaker 1: matters and what doesn't? What am I putting my energy into? 494 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 1: What am I going to disengage with people and realize 495 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 1: this isn't worth my time? So I feel like a 496 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,120 Speaker 1: whole different person. Yes, the short answer to your question 497 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,399 Speaker 1: about a second book, Yes, I would love to. Yeah. No, 498 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: I mean I think too. I mean so many people 499 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: are going to want to hear it um and and 500 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,679 Speaker 1: read it. And to the people that say, you know 501 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,640 Speaker 1: the same with me, it's like, oh, you know your 502 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,360 Speaker 1: your daughter is going to see this or your son, 503 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, what my daughter and my 504 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: son are going to say is a really strong mom. 505 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: And they're you know, they're not going to read it 506 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: when they're six years old. They're going to read it 507 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: when they're you know, in high school or out of 508 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: high school, and It's not about them hating, you know, 509 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: we're having any bad feelings. It's about hey, this is 510 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: how strong my mom is and this is what she 511 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: got there. Like that's that's what I'm telling you know, 512 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: and everything else can have a time and place to 513 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: rest all with you know, their their dad or whatever. 514 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: But we all need to have those discussions anyway, you 515 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,239 Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean like you should have 516 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: these discussions eventually with your children, you know, or they're 517 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: just gonna see you all broke up and they're gonna 518 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,959 Speaker 1: have a million questions. So you know, I think that's okay, 519 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: that's okay as long as you're not completely trashing them 520 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 1: to your kids. I think that, you know what I mean, Like, 521 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 1: as long as you're like, well, daddy did this, and daddy, 522 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: you know whatever, I think you're fine, And I think 523 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: you have conversations with them, and that's just gonna be 524 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: how your reality is and it's going to help a 525 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 1: lot of people. I was doing this exercise and therapy 526 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 1: their day where I won't give the whole thing away, 527 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 1: but it was just about basically all the all the 528 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 1: pain and trauma and then putting that on something that 529 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: helps grow and you're gonna help other people grow and 530 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 1: you're gonna help other people you know, um and learn, 531 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: And I just I love that. It's like, that's that's 532 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 1: why you share. And I love that you're you know, 533 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: in your in your book give them lawa. It's like 534 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: you don't you don't hold back. And I remember my 535 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 1: editor was like, well, let's wait until you find the man. 536 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want the next book to be 537 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: about how I found love again and how I'm happy. 538 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 1: It's like I want my happiness to come from within me, 539 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 1: Like that's the book I want to write, like how 540 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: I found myself after Like not because oh I found 541 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 1: you know me Andy and are happily in love. Like 542 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,239 Speaker 1: that's not what I want to write about. And I 543 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: think the most interesting book would be about you, you know, 544 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 1: basically falling back in love with yourself and putting yourself first. 545 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 1: You know. Are you terrified to date? By the way, 546 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm terrified. I just don't think 547 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: I'm ready yet. I don't feel like I have anything 548 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: to offer a person right now. And when I say that, 549 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 1: I mean any extra time or energy I have. I 550 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: would rather like spread that to the people that are 551 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,960 Speaker 1: already in my life, who had been, who have been 552 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: writer dies for me, I just don't want to invest 553 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: anything into another person going out and bumping gums and 554 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: like talking something like that I can do, but like 555 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,959 Speaker 1: bumping yeah, I love us. No, it's hard because I'm 556 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: in a relationship now and it's like it is very 557 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,479 Speaker 1: strange to be like, oh wow, this is this feels 558 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: different and you know, um it's that's another road being 559 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: in a healthy relationship after a toxic relationship. But that 560 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: could be the next book that can be like we 561 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: want to hear, Like women who are going through this, 562 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 1: they want to hear that they can do it. They 563 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: want to hear and they can gather in that they're strong, 564 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: that they can do it on their own. They don't 565 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: want to hear about oh, the next relationship, like nobody wants. 566 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 1: I mean I would read that book, a book about 567 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: just a woman coming back into her own and we 568 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: should write those kinds of books. The sister. Okay, so 569 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 1: product wise, what's going on? Where can people get all 570 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 1: the all the goodies that you do? Oh well, we 571 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: have beauty and skin that you can get at give 572 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: them La La dot com. If you have a little baby. 573 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,520 Speaker 1: I have a baby line inspired by Ocean. You can 574 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 1: get that. I give them La La baby dot com. 575 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: And then the paperback of my book you can get 576 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: wherever books are sold. Give them Lalla, It's all give 577 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 1: them Lalla gives them La La, Well, La La. Thank 578 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 1: you so much for coming on. Um. I really appreciate 579 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: you being open and authentic and vulnerable and you know, 580 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 1: just I know for me, like sometimes when I feel 581 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: like I I overshare share, people you know, say like 582 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 1: shut up or stop talking about it. There are ninety 583 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,479 Speaker 1: nine point the other nine percent of women are so 584 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 1: thankful that you're sharing your story. So saying that because 585 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: I do read a lot of people telling me, I'm like, 586 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: I'm trying to process. So if you're not wanting to hear, 587 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 1: then you need to turn me off. Yeah, it's the same. 588 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 1: So yeah, I just like I just don't worry about 589 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 1: just keep being you and um, you are helping a 590 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: lot of women. So thank you and thanks for coming 591 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:08,040 Speaker 1: out here. Thank you for having okay. Um, Yes, she 592 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: is so sweet and I feel like we could have 593 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,719 Speaker 1: a really good T date together. T date. Doesn't it 594 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: make you feel good to talk to people like that 595 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: that like to share as much as you do. Yeah, 596 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 1: I would feel like that that would feel good, like 597 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 1: kind of validating, like yes, we're helping people, Like oversharing 598 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: is not necessarily a bad thing. People want all of y'all, 599 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: but then they want to complain at the other you know, 600 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 1: at the other end. No, it's it's a very um, 601 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 1: it's very comforting and I love people that do that because, yeah, 602 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: I just feel like, Okay, I'm not alone in what 603 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: I'm wanting to do is help other people. What I'm 604 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,320 Speaker 1: wanting to it's not that I'm that people will be 605 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 1: like stop talking about it, like Ian must feel so 606 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: embarrassed or and I'm like, he knows that. It has 607 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: nothing to do with Mike. It has everything to do 608 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: with just sharing the story, helping other people acknowledging things 609 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: and maybe their relationship. And but yeah, it's it's very 610 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 1: comforting to like talk to someone else that thinks them 611 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: is has gone down that road and that is willing 612 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 1: to talk about it because she's right. Like a lot 613 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: of times it's like, oh no, the guys can go 614 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 1: do what they want to do, but yet we then 615 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: have to be quiet like no, they can go do 616 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: it publicly and then yeah, but you have to be 617 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: you can. You can blow our world up, and then 618 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 1: you want us to go say nothing, right m m yeah, 619 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 1: that's not cool. That's not cool at all. But I 620 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 1: don't wear it anymore. That's the thing. I don't want 621 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: to wear it anymore. It's not like like my next 622 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 1: chapter is like moving on, but it's still It's like 623 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm not stuck in it. I just it's just when 624 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: I talk about things, it's just part of the experience. Well, 625 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 1: and part of your moving on is what you have 626 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,799 Speaker 1: to still tell that part of it, that's what you're 627 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: moving on from, and not even just that. You have 628 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,399 Speaker 1: a lot of things that you've had to move on 629 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,480 Speaker 1: in your life, a lot of experiences, so it's part 630 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: of your story. Mm hmm. I'm just thinking of the 631 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 1: gossip that I have to tell you off airight now. Sorry, guys, 632 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: I can't. Oh you know when you go to like 633 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: your hair lady or your last I went to my 634 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: last lady and she was like, oh, I got some 635 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,799 Speaker 1: gossip for you. I was like, because I'm like, my 636 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,600 Speaker 1: life is so drama free now since I'm in a 637 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 1: healthy relationship. So I'm like I got nothing. All right, guys, 638 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:23,720 Speaker 1: we'll see you next week.