1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: This episode concludes part two from last week's episode. I 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: have so many new stories to share with you all, 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: so please make sure if you love what you're here 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, and 5 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,079 Speaker 1: don't forget to support the podcast by signing up for 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,479 Speaker 1: the Patreon account in the show notes below. You'll be 7 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: able to meet the guests, Watson, behind the scene, videos 8 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 1: and so many of the goodies. Also, don't forget to 9 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: show YouTube page some love and inspirbed as well. 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If you are 30 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: all caught up with episode, listen to the bonus episodes 31 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: by supporting the psc podcast Patreon account. To support, please 32 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: visit www dot patreon dot com. Forward slash the PSG 33 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,679 Speaker 1: podcast now. Please keep in mind that all of my 34 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: guests are Anna. So let's again this week's episode. Just 35 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: say it was a turning point that made you want 36 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: to start your road to recovery. I know we're jumping around, 37 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: but yeah, that's okay. Uh No, I don't ways say 38 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 1: I didn't want to do nothing. So I maybe you know, 39 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: because for an addict, and I'm honest to be honest 40 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: to tell you that, uh, if it was left to me, 41 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: I'd probably still be getting high. Uh but you didn't. 42 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: You didn't really you didn't think that you you didn't 43 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: realize you was doing that. I knew I was sick 44 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: as crazy, but I didn't know how to stop. I 45 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: don't remember one time in St. Louis, and this has 46 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: been years ago, when they first started having a commercial 47 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: that says, uh is your brain on fire whatever that 48 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: with your brain seisling from drugs or they put the right. Yeah. 49 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: So I used to say, I'm gonna call young people. 50 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: But when I came to Houston, you know, I I said, 51 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to be my sister, and I leave my 52 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: sister and I got an apartment and but my disease 53 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: came with me. And so this is so funny. I 54 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 1: made another big money hand when I got here. Listen 55 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: money hanc girl. I met him and his name was Chicago, 56 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: from Chicago, and he's no longer with us, but he 57 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: was another one that that took care of me and 58 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: didn't know my disease had was as bad as it was. 59 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: And so I think I wrote in the book, I 60 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: know I did that when my disease when I was 61 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: here in Houston. My disease are gotten so bad that 62 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: when I I was so smart, mom, I taught myself 63 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: how to cook cocaine m so when I did though, 64 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: I smelled smoke. This is this is the wild thing. 65 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: When I got high, I smelt smoke, right, And so 66 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: every time I got high, I would pull all the 67 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: clothes off of my hangars and pour water on them 68 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: because I was closet was on fire and this is 69 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 1: no lie um. And so one time my nieces came 70 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: down to the house and saw the condition of my 71 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: house and how crazy I looked, even though I thought 72 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: I looked good with two pair of pants on and 73 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: go figling figure. Yeah, if you were saying how you 74 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: was wearing like double trump like to see how skinny 75 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: I was, I ain't the only one to trust me. 76 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: I asked another attic there to you. And then when 77 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: you told my sister, and my sister called me to 78 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: the house, which was down the street from where my 79 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: partner was, and then she said, uh, I'm taking you 80 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: to my job. Now. My sister was a drug consolate, 81 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: and I always felt how embarrassing that had to be 82 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: for her, But because she loved me, she didn't care. 83 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: But she took me to the She said, I'm gonna 84 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: You're going tomorrow and we're gonna get a drug kit. Well, 85 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: of course, I went back to the house and got high. 86 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: That next day, she took me to her treatment center 87 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: where she was a methodon worked at the Methodon Clan, 88 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: and of course it came out that I was had 89 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: cocaine and my sister and of course I'm lying saying 90 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: I I ain't got high and such a such a 91 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: period of time, and and then she just looked at me. 92 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: She had this she she has this way of looking 93 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: at you like, okay, idiot. And then I remember hitting 94 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: the floor of crime like I was two years old, 95 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: and she just Calmi said, if you're gonna get your 96 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: butt up, She said, Mama, Mama is not here anymore. 97 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 1: It's my job to take care of you. You're gonna 98 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: get some help mm hmm. And I just kind of 99 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: got up and said okay. And they took me to 100 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: the shoulders the next day in Chicago. And that's why 101 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: I'm saying I've always and when you mentioned that, I 102 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: have always been the best because when Chica Go found 103 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 1: out that I was in the predicament I was in, 104 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,119 Speaker 1: which he didn't know it was that bad. He gave 105 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: my sister or somebody a couple of hundred dollars to 106 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: buy me anything I needed in the treatment center. And 107 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: that was June of ninety three and I went into 108 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: the shoulders and at that day, at that time, I 109 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: think it was a seven day detox program. And after 110 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: seven days it came and got me, and I knew 111 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 1: after the first night that I would never get high again. Though, 112 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: how was that detox program? Like? Is it what we see? Now? 113 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: All you do is sleep sleep? I slept for probably 114 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: three days because I was so tired. So because you've 115 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 1: gotta think most addicts that are doing even we're either 116 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: using or going to get something to use mhm. That 117 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 1: that's that's an addics life or scheming. How are we 118 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 1: gonna get something mhm? And yeah, you know, I've always 119 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 1: had to get to gaps, so I always had some 120 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 1: drugs kind of way. But you know, and my story 121 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: is that I never sold my body, and believe it 122 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: or not, I thought I had. I'm my old daughters 123 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: looked dignity, right, Oh, I ain't doing all that. Oh babe, 124 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: I don't do that. That's the wrong kick. But I 125 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: felt like in your in your I feel like you 126 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: didn't have to because you was always surrounded by men 127 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: that wanted to be there for you, and I did. 128 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: I really was, even when they didn't know that I 129 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: was that bad all you know, Chicago was ringing me 130 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: dope every day. He had no idea, you know, he 131 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: just you know, he was married. He's another one um. 132 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: And so I went into the shoulders. The seven days 133 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: came out, and I and and this is how cold 134 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: the disease of addiction and how things happened when I 135 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: got out. My sister's ex husband at the time I 136 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: was here in Houston, and he was a full blow Anne, 137 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: but she had she was in the nil that's crazy 138 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: all his life and she wouldn't did. I couldn't stay 139 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: with her because he was there. And girlfriend, Angela Corville, 140 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: you know, God love her. Her husband devoted Jehovah's witness 141 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: and they had two sons, and Land said, you come 142 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: live with us. I slept on the floor and her 143 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: boys who they were, they were and I stayed with 144 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: them nine months or so because I went to an 145 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: outpatient program called Choices. They don't have it anymore. And 146 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 1: I went to it was like school eight to five, 147 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: and you took different classes on your disease, on your behavior. 148 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: I did acupuncture and and I stayed with Angela and 149 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: her family for I probably about nine months. And you 150 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: know how God works, you know, I kept saying, I 151 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: gotta get a job. And I found a job that 152 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: I could catch the bush too. It was a daycare. 153 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: I started working at the daycare, and then I needed 154 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: a car and embody. I was driving in the neighborhood 155 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 1: and there was this car that had a for sale 156 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: sign on it, and I knocked on doors until I 157 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: found out who owned the car. And the lady opened 158 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: the door and I asked her about her car, and 159 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: I was interested in it. She invited me in her house. 160 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 1: I left with her car with no money. Mm hmm. 161 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: She let me take the car and I paid her 162 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: for that car, and she became like a surrogate mom, 163 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: you know. And so I've eventually got my own apartment 164 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: because Lands would get up every morning before he went 165 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: to work and read the Word with me, you know, 166 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: And so my foundation was always there and and and 167 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: from that day to this one, like I said, I've 168 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: never used and God as us continue to elevate me. 169 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: Uh shout out to men like Lands, because what yeah, 170 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: bless And when I said I was ready to move 171 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: and get my own apartment. He was like, Nope, you 172 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: don't have to go, you have to leave here. We're 173 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: gonna always be here, stay here as long as you need. 174 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: And I said, I I gotta go. It's time. And 175 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: you know, I you know, when I think about what 176 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 1: they did for me, given me, uh the root of 177 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: the tree, you know what I'm saying. They planted that 178 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 1: tree so deep that it was nothing I wasn't willing 179 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 1: to do to stay clean. And I want to say 180 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: I had my days of you know, an addicts uh 181 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 1: uh theme is bucket m forget it, forget it. I'm 182 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: just gonna and and there were days where I was like, oh, 183 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: this is hard, but you know, God allowed me to 184 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: persevere and stay clean. And I'm grateful for all those 185 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: people who invested in me. And so my recovery day 186 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 1: isn't for me, my clean day, it's for those who 187 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 1: invested in me. Mm hm, you know, because that's the 188 00:10:55,240 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: only thing I can do to pay them, is to 189 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: stay clean. People don't realize that, right they're realizes that 190 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: I I can't. I could never repay them for their time, 191 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: their energy, and their money and their look. I could 192 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: never repay them. So how I repay all those people 193 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: in my story is to stake to me. Mm hmm. 194 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: That's all I can do. And also, during this time, 195 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: you were beginning to attend our card it's anonymous. So 196 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: how influential was this program to your journey? I'm still 197 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: in the program. I never stopped going. I go to AM. 198 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: I would go to a meeting every day if I could, 199 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: mm hmm. Because I can go in the room and 200 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: say everybody and that so one, so someone so and 201 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: and everybody's just gonna say love you. See. That's I 202 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: can go in a room of people that are like me. 203 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: They're like me. My sol Staris and my brother they 204 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: loved me, Angela Corby, they loved me. All these people 205 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: love me. But they don't know the first thing what 206 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: I go through as a recovering addict, as a periods. 207 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: They don't know how my brain operates. Right when I 208 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 1: got cleaned, I sent pictures, sent partial portions of the 209 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: book to people of my family. I'm like, yeall don't 210 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,680 Speaker 1: know about me, right, Yeah, I really don't know me. 211 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm crazy. He was a wild girl back in the day. 212 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: That's my sister got to keep it in check. My 213 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: little brain will still think I'm a legend in my 214 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: own mind. Man. Well, one thing I realized and I 215 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: thought it was kind of that kind of was very 216 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: kind of sad with how you said that. How many 217 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: people don't make it out our programs like they make 218 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: it out the programs, but they don't. They don't survive 219 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: because they relapse. I was just with the gentleman that 220 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: I date the other day, my boyfriend and it, and 221 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: he was like, slip girl, but he was just telling 222 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 1: me about a deal with my friend of ours with 223 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: about ten years. That just relaxed. You know, it doesn't. 224 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: That's why I say this is disease does not discriminate. 225 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,959 Speaker 1: It does not care that I got twenty eight years. 226 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: Because I can't slip, man, I can start dating somebody 227 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: or you you know, you can't smoke weed and come 228 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: up in my house. You ain't. I don't want to 229 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: smell it. That's yours. I ain't judging. Just don't bring 230 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 1: around me. And we lose so many people, some of 231 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 1: my dearest dearest, dearest friends. Uh, Jackie, but that's a 232 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: hard too. I got clean and she took me under 233 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 1: a wing, and uh, the disease had missed her up physically, 234 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: like we talked about organs and kidneys and have messed 235 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 1: her up so bad that as she got clean, by 236 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 1: the time we had twenty years clean, she was dead. 237 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. You know because the disease. Some of us 238 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: were some of them, you know, some of the us 239 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 1: were cocaine addicts and some smoke and some shocking you know, 240 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: did needles and did this and did appeals and all 241 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 1: them foreign substances in your body. You know, I'm grateful 242 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: that I am where I am. I don't know what 243 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 1: tomorrow is gonna bring, right, I just I just lived 244 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: day to day and just thank God for the day, 245 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: just for two days. When I get to tomorrow, we'll 246 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: be grateful for tomorrow. But I have to stay in 247 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 1: the moment and allowed to manifest itself on this day. 248 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: An addict. UH need not die from the horrors of addiction. 249 00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: We don't have to die, but we do because somewhere 250 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: along the line, it still doesn't click. Mm hmm, it 251 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: doesn't click. And also during this time, you met the 252 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 1: father of your son and your ex husband. Girl, by 253 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: h this is what this is what made me realize 254 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: how young you were, because at this time he was 255 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: like thirty three, and I'm like, yo, you lived a 256 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: long life, like alone life. And so I met my 257 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: son's father in the rooms of narcotics anonymous, very handsome guy, 258 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 1: and I'm sad to say right now he's still using 259 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: Oh wow, So I have twenty eight years clean, oh man, 260 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: very when he would and then me, to be honest, 261 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: the only reason I married him it because I was 262 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: scared my daddy was gonna have a heart attack. Now 263 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: I was thirty so but I was like, oh, we 264 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: gotta get married with my daddy gonna guy. Oh lord, no, 265 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: you know, because he was pregnant. Yeah, I was pregnant 266 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: and I had that respect, right, Uh, but we will 267 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: only get this is this is how cod word God 268 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: brought him in my life. I got pregnant. He was 269 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: amazing provider everything. Dante was born. Three months later he 270 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: was gone mm hmm in that order. And it wasn't 271 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: three to four months later he was gone, and my 272 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: sponsor made me realize that he was. He was not 273 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: supposed to be in my life. God brought him so 274 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: that I could have Dante because Dante kept me clean 275 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: further mm hmm. Right, and uh and it did because 276 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: you know, I moved in with my sister. So that's 277 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: how I would tell you. You know, you can do anything. 278 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: I moved in with my sister on one bit of repartment, 279 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: literally and and we she potty trained Dante and we 280 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: did all this, and I went back to school and 281 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: things kept progressing and I got my own place and data. 282 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: And then years later, Uh, my ex husband had always 283 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: been in the rooms, very distinguished and to this day 284 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: Terry probably has thirty for plus years clean. And I 285 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,640 Speaker 1: had been seeing him because I kept saying, oh, that's 286 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 1: a good that's a good looking old man. And one 287 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,440 Speaker 1: day he asked me out and I said sure, and 288 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: then he came back and said, where can we go now? 289 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: Because recovery have sober dances Saturday nights. There's always a 290 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 1: sober dance you can go to, which sober dances keep 291 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: a lot of us clean, right because to pretending were 292 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: hanging in the club, you know where you can't when 293 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:55,199 Speaker 1: you're not ready. And I dated him and we we dated. 294 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 1: I cast girl almost nine years before we got married, 295 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 1: and we were nine years and so we were we 296 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: were to gather a total about fifteen years before we divorced, 297 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: and we're still good friends. Now, dude, this is a 298 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 1: different marriage. Yes, this is marriage number two. Now listen, 299 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: you're really staying with a man. Yeah. And the the 300 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: amazing thing about Harry and I and I tried, I 301 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 1: didn't put you didn't put this in the book. No, 302 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: I I didn't because I would have bashed him at 303 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: the time. And I still man, because you cheated, right, 304 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 1: But anyway, because yeah, because the businesses that I've always 305 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 1: had always had me around people of wealth, like always, 306 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: like I used to do the credit for some of 307 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: the rookie ball players. I would repair their credit because 308 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: you know, they make them work on their finances and stuff. 309 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: So he always assumed I was cheating and if and 310 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,239 Speaker 1: I think that hurt me more than anything, because I 311 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: swear to God, I never cheated. I never did. But 312 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: he ended up cheating, and you know, of course Snooky 313 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: came out and I was like, I'm gonna burn the 314 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 1: house down, so you know, you about what you're gonna get. 315 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:15,400 Speaker 1: But the beauty about him is he adopted Dante right 316 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: like legally, So I see what you did now, I 317 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: see how you wrote this book. Because because I'm an 318 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: avid reading, so it took me no time to read 319 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: your book. What you did was you took bits and 320 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 1: pieces of stories and you put them together. Yes, because 321 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,959 Speaker 1: now I see where I'm in my mind, I'm basually 322 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: seeing certain parts of the book. Yeah, at this time 323 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: when you wrote the book, used with her for five years, 324 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: right exactly, And so I when I wrote the book, Slick, 325 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:58,680 Speaker 1: I got some stories for y'all, you know, because I 326 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,120 Speaker 1: believe for me, a person in the process of recovery, 327 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: there's always a story, right, because we're always in the 328 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: process of change, because I have to maintain a certain 329 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: type of lifestyle and things that I do to stay clean. 330 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: For you, you people, we call y'all normal, right, because 331 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: I'll be somewhere and I'll go, oh, these normal folk 332 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: kill me. Yeah, they think they're normal and they're crazy. 333 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: Or I'll be somebody to be somewhere and I'll go, oh, 334 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,679 Speaker 1: these child these for me to me, they have nowhere 335 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 1: to process they garbage. I can process my stuff. Seven. 336 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 1: All I gotta do is get on the n A hotline. 337 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: All I gotta do is call him another attic where 338 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 1: two or more gather. Then we don't have a meeting 339 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 1: right where y'all scared to tell anybody what's going on? 340 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: So y'all stay crazy right, because I want to pretend 341 00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: life is perfect. It's not. You screwed up m h. 342 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: Garbage going on. So the program and the way I 343 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 1: wrote the book, I just wanted people to get bits 344 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: and pieces right because I didn't want to throw anybody 345 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 1: under the bus. Number one. He didn't. I didn't want 346 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: to throw had I wrote more about Terry and throw 347 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 1: get butt up under the bus. I'm just telling the truth. 348 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: And so the girl who did most of the book 349 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 1: I thought I talked to that, she's like, we aren't 350 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: gonna do that. They're thinking about him. We aren't throw 351 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: nobody under bus. We're gonna throw you under the bus. 352 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,440 Speaker 1: Right for the bus. I mean, you took full accountability 353 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,439 Speaker 1: for everything that you did because you didn't throw anybody 354 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,439 Speaker 1: underneath the bus. I didn't want to. I didn't want to. 355 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: It wasn't a bashing book, you know. It was about 356 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: this is what I did. I'm sorry. Let me just 357 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,159 Speaker 1: share some of my foolishness, so maybe you won't. You 358 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: can get rid of your foolishness, you know. And if 359 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: we're not transparent, you know, how are we as so 360 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 1: called Christians? Go help somebody else. You know, if I 361 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 1: if I say that I love God and and I 362 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 1: trust him, then I had to close my eyes because 363 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: one of my girls, close girls, said, feet, now you 364 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: know you can put this book out there. You know 365 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,680 Speaker 1: everybody is gonna be in your amen corner. I need 366 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: to get ready for some foolishness and what some folks 367 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: gonna say. Well, I ain't gonna tell you what I said. 368 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: I was like, and okay, what was the feedback that 369 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 1: you received when you wrote this book? Because you aren't 370 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: mention anybody, bade none, you know. I think that one 371 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: of the most powerful things that happened to me was 372 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 1: I went to New York to talk to uh the 373 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: Doctor's Association in Rochester, New York, my sister. One of 374 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,640 Speaker 1: them approached my sister and asked if I would come 375 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: up and talk about the disease of addiction. Well, at 376 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 1: the beginning of this seminar or conference, they had all 377 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: these doctors come up and they talked about the brain, 378 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 1: and they talked out the disease and the person and 379 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 1: DA these big old words and all this. And most 380 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,639 Speaker 1: people know when I speak in front of people, I 381 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: were my military boots. I trained in military books. I 382 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: work out in military books. My military boots are significant 383 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: to me, and I always speak in my boots for 384 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: you because that means that I've been in war. I've 385 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:29,119 Speaker 1: been in the back, I've been in the battle and 386 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 1: now I can wear my boots with pride because I 387 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: had to step through some stuff with my boots. My 388 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: boots mean war to me, you know. And at this conference, 389 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 1: I got up my sisters, you know, introduced me and 390 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: she took his deep breath and said, well, I hope 391 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,119 Speaker 1: you are all ready for my little sister, she said, she, 392 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 1: you know, gave a bunch of accolades and without accomplience 393 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 1: in the business is that I've owned. And then she 394 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 1: just took a deep breath and say, I hope you 395 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: guys are ready. And so when I got up there, 396 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,159 Speaker 1: I said, I'm a great for covering Dophine. I'm not 397 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: an addict, because dopehine is a addict is a pretty 398 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: word for a person like me. So I had to 399 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: remind me that I was a Dolphine, I said. And 400 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: I wouldn't let none of y'all treat me because I'm 401 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: not a number, I'm not a statistics. I'm a human being. 402 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 1: I'm a person with feelings. I'm a person with the 403 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: people in my family that loved me, and yet you 404 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: want to luck me with a whole bunch of different, 405 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: whole bunch of addicts in one room. We are not alike. 406 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: And that's another that's right. I said that about us 407 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: a life is that we suffer from a disease where 408 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: there's no known cue. That's the only thing that is 409 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: the same about us. I wasn't raped, I wasn't a prospitude. 410 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: My daddy didn't beat me every night. I didn't get 411 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: left in the car. I came from a two parent home. 412 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: They both had good job. I was just a freaking 413 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,640 Speaker 1: idiot through my name. I was just speaking. Were about 414 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: to really get to it now, laws shuman jeeus. I've 415 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: been trying to hold my to You know what's so 416 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: funny because like when I have women of your age 417 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: that comes to the show, I don't curse, I don't 418 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: say right. So then when when y'all started, like, you know, 419 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: getting comfortable and again loose at the time, and I'm like, okay, 420 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: then we can really pop off trying not to drop 421 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 1: because they girl, look, look, I've been trying not to 422 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: drop them in the ball right what anyway you're saying? 423 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 1: So now couldn't do nothing for me? I said, let 424 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: me tell you my story where I come from, and 425 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 1: maybe the next addict that comes to your office you 426 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 1: might really be able to help him. And quit trying 427 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: to get funding for a whole bunch of people and 428 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 1: lumping us together. M that's ever change. Nope, Nope, I don't. 429 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: I don't like the way. No, let me just say no, 430 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: just because we are it's the disease of addiction is 431 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: so it's just getting crazier and crazier. The drugs that 432 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: our babies are you and are getting more and more forfeited. 433 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: The aftermath it's getting worse and work right, And they're 434 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: pouring money in some of these communities and facilities for treatment, 435 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 1: but yet people can't find treatment. Mm hmm. You know, 436 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 1: I get calls all the time. I've been trying to 437 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: get my son in the program, and I've been and 438 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: I'll make phone calls and I'll call some friends that 439 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,200 Speaker 1: work some places and see what happened. But it's almost like, 440 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 1: you know, they're not the door. There's not enough places 441 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 1: for people, and the money flowing, the money is flowing 442 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 1: for addiction. Yeah, they're not. They're not. It's not in 443 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: our community. Put it like that, it's not the opi addiction. 444 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,360 Speaker 1: That littlehole epidemic is crazy. That's why what I did 445 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: my chid talk, That's what I talked about. It's about 446 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 1: around the open addiction. It's insane. But then on the 447 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: flip side, I talked about the statistics for obesity, which 448 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 1: is a mhm no, and then all these And I 449 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:10,959 Speaker 1: just said this to a little girl the other day. 450 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,560 Speaker 1: I said, you Holy rollers killed me. See y'all in 451 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: the church house praising the Lord, but y'all jump over, 452 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: uh gletton me mhm like, lett me hello, that's a 453 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,680 Speaker 1: sin to in the church, you know, God for be 454 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: excuse me, Lord, four five hundred pounds tamarining. But the 455 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: girl that come in the door with a short dress, 456 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: everybody got something to say. Yeah, But so your disease 457 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 1: got you eaten all night long at three hundred pounds. 458 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 1: But that child who walking the door, that just don't 459 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 1: know no better. Right now, you know, you want to 460 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: talk about why her skirts so short? So we got 461 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: our signals crossed somewhere because of the disease. It's a 462 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: disease is a disease. I don't care what age, what 463 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,920 Speaker 1: it is. One is no better worse than the other. Right, 464 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: there's no better, no work. So for me, I just 465 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: tried to treat people the way I want to be treated. 466 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. That's it. That's all I could do with 467 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 1: my disease thinking because I'm screwed up to right what 468 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:29,520 Speaker 1: we all are? Yeah, absolutely, well, let's get into these businesses. 469 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 1: Because I was even more just inspired about how you 470 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,919 Speaker 1: were so successful and you literally figure it out. So 471 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: your first company was a credit company, uh huh, and 472 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,959 Speaker 1: I still have it plus And what we did was 473 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: one of the attorneys I was apparently a school and 474 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 1: he said to me, I'm gonna teach you something because 475 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: my son was a couple of months old. I believe 476 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna teach you something where you never have to 477 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 1: work again. Okay, I like, yeah, whatever, all right, And 478 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: he started teaching me about credit and how the credit 479 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: buil has worked and what they could and do and 480 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 1: legally and datad And so I started having clients on 481 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 1: Saturdays at another attorney's office. I plied every hour, and 482 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: then that grew to where I got my own offers, 483 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: and then I started doing bookkeeping accounting for small businesses, 484 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: and I hired a girl from the church. And then 485 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: I went to the Texas School of Business and they 486 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: sent me interns and I had a full staff. I 487 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,600 Speaker 1: did that for years still do people. I just don't advertise, 488 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 1: and I made about four dollars doing that. Wow, And 489 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: I just kind of thought about a kind of stuff 490 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: the big money Hank taught me about treating people and 491 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: finishing what you start and all that. And the only 492 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 1: reason I closed it down because I started going through 493 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 1: a divorce and it was just too much. Uh God. 494 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: Then at the same time, I had personal touch. Plus 495 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: my brother and my nephew were truck drivers and they 496 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: wanted a truck and business. So I said, okay, well, 497 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: let me go get some trucks and called uh Carcasians 498 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 1: my guy, and he taught me everything he knew about 499 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: trucks and the rest I figured it out, and so 500 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: I got some lines of credit. And my nephew was 501 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: really good with, you know, buying trucks and fixing them. 502 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: So I got some trucks. So I read about a 503 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: year until the money was so good they quit coming 504 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: to work. So I called my daddy, and my daddy says, 505 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: sell it, sell everything, get rid of it, and smart enough. 506 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: I met the son uh Russell Bruce String, an attorney. 507 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: He's an and of the founder of Consumer uh Consumer 508 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: Credit Counseling, and he said, take all the money out, 509 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: put everything up under your mattress, and we're gonna five 510 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 1: break grips. Mm hmm, You're gonna be five. And he 511 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: said to me, because that's how we douce stuff the 512 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: mother folk. Right, all right, right, I'm telling you right, okay, right, okay, 513 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: And I said okay, And I did that and I 514 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 1: haven't looked back then. So I did that. And then 515 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: Personal Touch Plus started filtering. And the funny thing is that, uh, 516 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: to go back a little bit, John Mitchell, who started 517 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 1: training me before I had my own office, he took 518 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 1: a part of his gym and put a wall up 519 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 1: and I repaired credit in his gym, and the guys 520 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 1: would not leave until I was doing my clients. And 521 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 1: then he said, come on, let's get you another office. 522 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: And that's how that grew so big, and it was 523 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,600 Speaker 1: really big. I did a lot of working with the 524 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 1: s b A, helping a lot of loans things like that. 525 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 1: And from there, you know, I downsized the office. You know, 526 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: my son was getting old and things were changing, like 527 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: changing for me. And uh, then I started working out. 528 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 1: And then that's how I got into fitness because I 529 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,520 Speaker 1: stop my cycle and you know, Jay walks me through 530 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: that and and I started looking kind of cute and 531 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm kind of fine, okay, and 532 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 1: he said we need to do We started powerlifting. I 533 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: started doing powerlifting in my mad parties and I still 534 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 1: hold a couple of state records through for state records 535 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: for that excuse me. And from powerlifting. He said, we 536 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: need to go ahead and do your first bodybuilding show. 537 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 1: I've done about twenties. I'm one about twenty six shows. 538 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 1: I've got only two second place to rest of my 539 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: first place. Uh it's you know places trophies, and then 540 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: I take other girls to the stage. I've probably taken 541 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: about ten twelve. He's ever lost the show. I'm doing 542 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: my own show again July twenty second. Car Transformation twenty one. 543 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 1: We did it last year where you have to lose 544 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 1: up to and over twenty pounds to be in my show. 545 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: We've got thirty one women in the show and Uh. 546 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm doing my last show in St. Louis, where I'm from, 547 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: and I did it before a couple of years ago 548 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: this September, and I'm taking about I'm taking four women 549 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 1: with me that will be competing in about twenty people, uh, 550 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 1: to spectate. And so I've been really blessed because I'm 551 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 1: not afraid. I also have a nonprofit. I got two 552 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 1: nonprofit as a matter of fact, the Pink Room and 553 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: the Institute of Credit Education. Uh. And so I'm not 554 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: I'm one of those people that I'm not afraid. I'm 555 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: not afraid. You can't scare me. Hey, it ain't nothing. 556 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: I ain't done. Hey, so you can't. You can't. I 557 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: can't do anything. But it's not work, and I don't 558 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 1: do it again. I might look up and the ship work. 559 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: I just you know, And so I'll lay down and 560 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: think of stuff. And that's my problem. My brain doesn't 561 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: cut off, you know. Jay said to me yesterday, dude, 562 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 1: you're gonna be sixty. We gotta figure something out. I said, 563 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: you need to figure shop for me. I'm fine. You 564 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: can't keep doing be I said, boy, let me tell 565 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: you so I'm straight. I'm good. You know when I 566 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: get tired. I know how to stop. But no, right, 567 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 1: I don't think you. I didn't get there from you. 568 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: I don't. But when I do, I know how to go, 569 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: lay down, how to shut everybody off for two or 570 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 1: three days and watching TV. I know, I know, and 571 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: that's why I tell people I know when to cut 572 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: it off. You know. And I too, am praying and saying, God, 573 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 1: what do you want me to do when our turn sixty? Okay, 574 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: what I want to do. We're gonna figure it out. 575 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 1: But I know how. Last week one of my girls 576 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,239 Speaker 1: two years ago lost sixty six pounds. M maybe Sean 577 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: May gone three years and that three year period, Sean 578 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,279 Speaker 1: picked up a hundred in something path maybe a hundred 579 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 1: and fifty pounds. And she had been texting me over 580 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,319 Speaker 1: the weeks, texting me over the weeks, texting me over 581 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,360 Speaker 1: the week, and I kept saying, baby, everybody know the 582 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,359 Speaker 1: pink room doors never closed. Don't care what's going on. 583 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna figure out the money. Just get here. Started 584 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:28,480 Speaker 1: last week. This week we waited her Monday, she was 585 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: down eight pounds in one week. We were in the 586 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: kitchen area that we have and I began to cry 587 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: and she was like, don't coach, don't cry because I'm 588 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 1: gonna cry. And she said to me. I kept saying, 589 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 1: if I could just get home to Fee, if I 590 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 1: could just get home to the pink room, if I 591 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,920 Speaker 1: could just go back to coach. I know she's gonna 592 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: take care of I know this weight is gonna come on. 593 00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:00,080 Speaker 1: If I could just get home. We are standing there 594 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 1: crying so bad because that ain't that wasn't me that 595 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,799 Speaker 1: did that. That's the God. That's what God gave me 596 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:13,880 Speaker 1: right for her, and I do. One girl called that 597 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 1: she gotta win in I know what she going through. 598 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: I was like, just to be here in the morning 599 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 1: at five o'clock. Just get here in the morning. We'll 600 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: figured out. Just get here five o'clock. You do market 601 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 1: and do some marketing. Just get here because I'm not 602 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,440 Speaker 1: losing nobody on my watch. You're not gonna die on 603 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 1: my watch. You're just not gonna do it. And so 604 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: it's not worth it's a ministry. Mm hmm. It's a ministry, 605 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,320 Speaker 1: is not worked. It's me pouring into you with somebody 606 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,360 Speaker 1: poured into me. Right, the gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, 607 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 1: they didn't let me die. So I'm not gonna let 608 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: you die mm hm, just get here. And so that's 609 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 1: why what I do, it's so important. And everybody that 610 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:02,200 Speaker 1: walks in my GM knows I'm to cover that. Well. 611 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: You share your story with others, and I know you 612 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,800 Speaker 1: don't have any regrets now because you make peace for 613 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: a lot of things. But I'm pretty show when you 614 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: share your story, a lot of people are inspired. So 615 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,560 Speaker 1: does that make the regrets that you did have a 616 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 1: lot easier to live with? Yeah, because I I feel 617 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 1: like this, I died so that they can live, right, 618 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 1: That's how I feel. That's how I feel when I 619 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: share my story and somebody gets it, or I get 620 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 1: a phone call, or because I always uh us it 621 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:35,680 Speaker 1: in the context of food, my drugs different than you 622 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:40,840 Speaker 1: you eating mhm, Right, my drugs almost killed me. The 623 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,399 Speaker 1: food going to kill you, right, So when I put 624 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,280 Speaker 1: it like that, they can get it. But I don't 625 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: have any regrets. I I mean, I I don't know 626 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,279 Speaker 1: if I would change anything. The only thing I would 627 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: change is I would probably have done different with my mom. 628 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,320 Speaker 1: That's thinking to That's the only thing. But I wasn't 629 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: supposed to do different, and I wasn't supposed to it 630 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:10,719 Speaker 1: was supposed to be just like that, right, So if 631 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,360 Speaker 1: I sent around and thought about, you know what I 632 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: could have done different everything, I'd run myself crazy. And 633 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 1: it's not worth it to me to to do what else? What? 634 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:29,319 Speaker 1: Elf don't exist, because the ship's already done right, already done? 635 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:35,879 Speaker 1: What the words? What if? What if? What? Hell? Right? 636 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,399 Speaker 1: It's like we're here now, duffer that baby? Oh well, 637 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 1: how important was it to apologize to your younger self? Oh? 638 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 1: That was that was hard man, that I said in 639 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: my car And I cried and I cried and I 640 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 1: cried and you know, and and I think that I 641 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,200 Speaker 1: can remember me saying I just didn't know better. You 642 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:06,160 Speaker 1: know better, you do better, and believe it or not. 643 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,919 Speaker 1: Being raised in that environment, I thought everybody got high. 644 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,240 Speaker 1: I thought this is just you know, it was normal. 645 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,640 Speaker 1: It was normal. That's why I'm like, dude, don't everybody 646 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:22,359 Speaker 1: do this? But um I did. I needed to tell 647 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 1: her that I was sorry that she had to endure 648 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: what she had to end, but it was just what 649 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,879 Speaker 1: God wanted. And I don't know if I could have 650 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 1: stopped it if I wanted to, because you know, when 651 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 1: God wants something for you, oh you didn't make it happen. 652 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:44,279 Speaker 1: It's gonna happen to where he wanted to happen. But yeah, 653 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,120 Speaker 1: I I at least said to her, look at her. Check, 654 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 1: we're here now. I brought us through with God's help. 655 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,239 Speaker 1: I know we had to go through some stuff, but 656 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 1: I know that we are stronger because of it. And 657 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 1: I know that we've made an impact on this world 658 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 1: mhm because of of what we went through, you know. 659 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000 Speaker 1: And I told her I wouldn't change it, you know, 660 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I just would do it again. Mm hmm. Yeah, 661 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,560 Speaker 1: So that was deep for me. Yeah, it was deep 662 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 1: for me reading to this. I feel like a lot 663 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 1: of times we questioned a lot of things until we 664 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 1: truly forgive. But we also have to forgive our youngest, 665 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: apologize our other selves in order for us to heal. Yeah. 666 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:34,560 Speaker 1: I did uh, one man, I did uh. From Recovery 667 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,080 Speaker 1: to Discovery, my journey to addiction. Woman show it the 668 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:41,439 Speaker 1: match Theater here in Houston, and that's how we took 669 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,560 Speaker 1: the book and I did exert. I just acted out 670 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,759 Speaker 1: every chapter right to me, and I changed clothes through it, 671 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,360 Speaker 1: and when I came out, I had gold jury on 672 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: to reflect Bick money, Hey here, and I said sorry 673 00:40:55,080 --> 00:41:00,919 Speaker 1: to myself and that was hard. Yeah, imagine was that 674 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,839 Speaker 1: doing that? And it was a sold out show. And 675 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 1: from that they put it on Amazon as a movie. 676 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 1: I can send you that. Um yeah, one of our 677 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:16,240 Speaker 1: friends produced it. He interviewed all my siblings and friends 678 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,600 Speaker 1: and and they made it on Amazon for about two years. 679 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,920 Speaker 1: Just came down. But y'all send it to you. And 680 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 1: that show was hard. And then when they asked me 681 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,839 Speaker 1: to do the Ted talk, see I'm a speak of that. 682 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: I've never written a speech. God won't let me write 683 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: a speech. Uh. My suster said, never write a speech 684 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: because it's not authentic, because that's not how you do. 685 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: Like one time I tried to do a speak on 686 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 1: stage without my boots and the girl said, everybody, you're 687 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,400 Speaker 1: the shot want everybody were were pantsuits, and I'm like, 688 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:54,240 Speaker 1: oh Jesus, because I just booched on my workout pass 689 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,240 Speaker 1: and if you look, you know, and that girl said 690 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,280 Speaker 1: where that south? And I got up there to speak 691 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 1: and I was so thrown off that one of my 692 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,600 Speaker 1: trainers was with me. Went to my car and when 693 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:12,520 Speaker 1: got my boots, m H and I when I came back, 694 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,360 Speaker 1: she put him on the stage and walked off and 695 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:15,880 Speaker 1: I said, hold on, y'all, let me put my boots on, 696 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: because it's a bullshit. I said, okay, now let's get 697 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,760 Speaker 1: down to be, you know, because I wasn't myself, but anyway, uh, 698 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,799 Speaker 1: you know, so you gotta know yourself. You gotta know 699 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,759 Speaker 1: what makes you. And so when I did the Ted 700 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,239 Speaker 1: talk and those people told me I had this much 701 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,280 Speaker 1: time and I had to do this girl I wanted 702 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: to use, I was saying, I'm like, I can't do this. 703 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: So my ghostwriter who helped me write the book, I 704 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: gave her some bullet points and we kind and she 705 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,839 Speaker 1: sent it back and then I took all that ship 706 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,759 Speaker 1: off and I rewrote it and I did the day 707 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:03,719 Speaker 1: of thing right like I did. You did, and I 708 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,720 Speaker 1: amazed me, but I said, you know, never freaking happen again. 709 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: And I remember one of the one of the Houstons, 710 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 1: really you know, well known Pastor's wife was in this 711 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:21,680 Speaker 1: show with me, and she was angry because they kept 712 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:26,240 Speaker 1: me for last and they said we saved the best 713 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 1: for last. I can remember them saying that. And when 714 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,880 Speaker 1: I ended, she the woman that moderator said, told you 715 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,640 Speaker 1: you know, and this woman was this past. His wife 716 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,319 Speaker 1: was so angry to this day. This woman don't speak 717 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,759 Speaker 1: to me. Uh you know, in her mind, I did her. 718 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 1: And I'm like, dude, I'm trying to make it. I'm 719 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,480 Speaker 1: faking until I make it, you know, y'all writing speeches 720 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,840 Speaker 1: all day long. With that, people writing speeches for y'all, 721 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, but I memorized that, and I was. 722 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,080 Speaker 1: I think that was probably in my recovery, one of 723 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:07,080 Speaker 1: the personal proudest moments for me. Mm hmm. I've never 724 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:12,840 Speaker 1: memorized anything. I've always got up there and got go, 725 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,799 Speaker 1: you know, because when I did the One Woman show, 726 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,319 Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't know what I was gonna say. 727 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,960 Speaker 1: All I had was a girl down front and she 728 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,359 Speaker 1: told me what the chapter name was. That was. It 729 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,600 Speaker 1: kept a sign up so for each chapter she changed it. 730 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,720 Speaker 1: So as long as I know my topic, I'm good. Dude. 731 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,399 Speaker 1: I just he shows up and shows out for me, 732 00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,080 Speaker 1: you know. And I've been really blessed to be on 733 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,600 Speaker 1: a lot of talk shows and do a lot of 734 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,279 Speaker 1: things and and speak here and speak there, and I've 735 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,200 Speaker 1: never and they'd be like, here's a mic boo. I 736 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:51,880 Speaker 1: got a big moth phone. You need this, Mike serious 737 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:57,120 Speaker 1: right now? You know in here, you know right you 738 00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,400 Speaker 1: really want to talk about it. So that was my 739 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,040 Speaker 1: proudest you know. Of course I've done a lot of things, 740 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,279 Speaker 1: my child and all that, but doing that kid talk, 741 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,879 Speaker 1: memorizing that, uh, was probably one of the things I'll 742 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:14,880 Speaker 1: never forget. If it's one thing that you want listeners 743 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:20,480 Speaker 1: to receive me your story, what would that be? Ah 744 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:26,000 Speaker 1: to be your authentic self mm hm, your authentic self, 745 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:32,480 Speaker 1: and don't be afraid to fall, don't be afraid to try, 746 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:37,120 Speaker 1: because God is a loving and forgiving God. And whenever 747 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:42,840 Speaker 1: you're going through right now, suffering in your sight, suffering 748 00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:47,920 Speaker 1: in silence from whatever your disease is, m he can't 749 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 1: help you unless you surrender the first steps in narcotics. 750 00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 1: Anonymous says that I am powerless over my disease, and 751 00:45:56,120 --> 00:46:01,439 Speaker 1: my life has become unmanageable. I all ways say for 752 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,160 Speaker 1: people to say I am powers or what people places 753 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,399 Speaker 1: and things in my life is unmanageable. So I want 754 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,200 Speaker 1: them to know is that it's never over until it's over. 755 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,680 Speaker 1: Mm It's never over until it's over. And and to 756 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,560 Speaker 1: not be afraid, just don't be afraid to fail because 757 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,439 Speaker 1: every time you you can dust yourself and that hurt. 758 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:28,480 Speaker 1: Let me get back up. Yeah, don't be afraid. And 759 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 1: before we leave, Yes, so I know you're not going 760 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,799 Speaker 1: to the name, but I know that you was dating 761 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:43,120 Speaker 1: professional basketball players. So wherever happened to them, sir, basketball 762 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:49,880 Speaker 1: and football and baseball always it I. Um, so what 763 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:56,880 Speaker 1: happened would one of the St. Louis Cardinals and I 764 00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 1: had this world flee? Uh? And he has reached out 765 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:09,280 Speaker 1: to me recently, which is so funny, and I'm like, oh, 766 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 1: hell no, no, but yeah, And and the thing about 767 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,640 Speaker 1: me is that I'm in the news a lot and 768 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:22,400 Speaker 1: I'm in the newspaper, so people seem and they still 769 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:27,600 Speaker 1: reach out to me. But they are around some of 770 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: them I used to get loaded with, you know. But 771 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: this is because the guy I often wondered if I 772 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,120 Speaker 1: hadn't been high, because he never knew, like a hig, 773 00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:41,200 Speaker 1: what would have happened to us? But we're friends, we're friends. Tired, 774 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 1: Uh does very well. But yeah, they're around girl. That's 775 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,399 Speaker 1: why I'd be like, don't take my picture. And I'm 776 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:56,359 Speaker 1: just kidding. They're around girl, They're round. Well, I appreciate 777 00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,319 Speaker 1: to you. I feel like this episode was just so amazing, 778 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,160 Speaker 1: so it's a rational Hopefully one day we can meet 779 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:08,040 Speaker 1: each other soon. I definitely, I definitely want to include 780 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 1: you and some things I'm working on because I feel 781 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,480 Speaker 1: like a lot of people can definitely be inspired by 782 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,480 Speaker 1: your story. Please do, I would love to you. Better, 783 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,520 Speaker 1: make sure you call me girl. I'm gonna be call 784 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,680 Speaker 1: taking up on you and we are one of one. 785 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,960 Speaker 1: I knew you was a quarry as a something or capital. 786 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,440 Speaker 1: Now you know we joined it to here. Now you 787 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,920 Speaker 1: can't get rid of it. I know, I know, I know. Well. 788 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,360 Speaker 1: If I have any questions, comments, concerns, or anything for 789 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,320 Speaker 1: my guest, please make sure to email me and hello 790 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,879 Speaker 1: at the PhD podcast dot com. And until next time, 791 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,239 Speaker 1: everyone Later bye,