WEBVTT - #177 Don't fall into this trap... 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:04.880 You have a distorted view of men and what they 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:09.680 what the role in a relationship should be. You could 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:11.600 see men in a light where they you're going to 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:14.760 look for someone that's an over protector. You're gonna look 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:17.239 in a light where you don't trust any of them. 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:19.400 You're gonna look in a light that maybe it's okay 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.279 to be open about not trusting. But either way, this 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:28.440 story points you in a direction where you have a 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.800 blurred line of what a man is in your life. 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:47.120 Don't fall for that trap. What's up everybody? Welcome to 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:50.640 the podcast, Episode one hundred and seventy seven. Got my 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:54.800 buddy Bernie with me one seventy seven. That's incredible, man, 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.640 What are we cooking up for two hundred because I 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.520 feel like it's a big milestone Pastor Chad coma, Yeah, y'all. 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.319 I just by the way, I just saw Pastor Chad 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:09.120 in Montana, went up there and visited him and he's 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.560 doing great. I miss having him on here. He's going 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:14.360 to start coming more often, hopefully back to Texas and 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:16.360 he'll have to get on here. So maybe we'll do 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:20.520 an episode two hundred's that's creeping up man, it is 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.959 and the live one we talked about last year, maybe 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:28.679 two hundreds A live one. Man, I'm really excited about 0:01:28.720 --> 0:01:32.840 that idea. Yeah, do so. We would like to take 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:36.640 this podcast live, me and Bernie in front of a 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:40.120 live audience where you stand up, we passed around microphones, 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.640 we record it, and you ask in real time. Now 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.319 we do this without notes or preparing, so that there 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:50.560 would be no difference. We would just go for it. 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:53.040 I think that would be incredible. So if you're listening 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.680 on a place that allows you to comment, like YouTube, 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.240 let me know in the comments a city for Bernie 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.120 Night to go to. That'd be awesome. They will do 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:04.480 a little tour, like a podcast tour, like three or 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:08.560 four days. Love it go hit three or four cities. Yeah, 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.920 some applause after we're done would actually feel kind of nice. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.920 It's really it's just quiet in here, guys, so quiet. 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:19.120 See you next time. Crickets podcast tour. I like this idea. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.280 We could jump on Southwest airlines, hit some Southwest cities 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:27.720 like maybe Austin would be one, Maybe Houston, Dallas. What 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:29.880 if we go to monta city, What if we go 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:33.760 to Montana to Chad, Yeah, that could be one. Well, 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.440 Bozeman is now Southwest City. Well, not that it has 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.400 to be that airline. We can go to Kalispell, we 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:43.560 can go to We got to hit the west coast, 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:46.480 got to hit the east coast, got to hit the south. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.079 Comment below where do you think we should go? Can't 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:52.320 forget the Midwest? To do it? Ohio or Michigan in 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.880 there somewhere do three or four man? It would be 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:59.440 really cool. Yeah, I love it. Okay, So things coming? 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:03.280 Yeah twenty three Griz. What we do here? In case 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.240 you're just like, what are they talking about? We answer 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:09.160 your questions. You email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.120 and we walk through them like we're just sitting around 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:15.040 a campfire. Okay, So first question here, subject line says, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:20.920 what do I do about nursing school? Hey Granger, I 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.720 lost my time right here. Maybe I'm not a bit Bernie. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:29.520 You give me bad luck on tiers. I'll just keep 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:31.720 track of this. Got it says, Hey Granger. My name 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:34.840 is Cheyenne. I'm twenty two, currently struggling with the decision 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:38.840 to finish nursing school. I'm about halfway done, but I 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.480 keep getting this feeling that's not what I'm meant to do. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.160 My anxiety gets worse when I'm at school or clinical. 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.000 I broke down while at the hospital rotation. I prayed 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.080 about this a lot, and my husband is very supportive 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:54.160 and whatever I decide, We've had many talks about this 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.560 and we've prayed together as well. But I know a 0:03:57.560 --> 0:03:59.880 lot of people in my life won't agree or will 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.400 I have something to say if I decide to leave. 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:08.680 I feel confused and lost. Any advice, thank you? Okay. 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:13.600 So I believe that the human experience is very much 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:17.400 layered with so many different circumstances and influences, and so 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.600 at a glance, I know there may be something that 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:24.040 you're not putting here that would if I knew that, 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.240 I would be like, yeah, you maybe need consider quitting. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.800 But if I'm only going on what you've said here, 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:34.240 you got to finish. Like I feel like people I 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:38.400 know are and myself are doing really hard things right now, 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.480 and they're getting into it and they're like, this is 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:45.080 so hard. I'm thinking about quitting, and I'm like, don't quit. 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.520 Finish what you start. Yeah, there's so much growth that 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:53.239 we can gain, and you don't even get that until 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:54.960 you get to the place where you want to quit. 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:57.479 And then you keep going, and then you keep going 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:00.560 a lot of personal growth there. So I say, keep going, 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:03.120 you'll get done and be very glad that you finished it. 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:06.360 I don't have much to add to that, and I 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.599 totally agree, Cheyenne. Let's sit with you just for a 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.320 second and just say, yeah, get it, get it. Life 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.840 comes at you fast. Sometimes sometimes you bite off more 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.080 than you could chew. You sign up for something that 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:19.960 you didn't think it was going to be that hard. 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:25.680 You're twenty two, you're newly married. Probably you got a 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.279 lot of things going on besides nursing school. I'm sure 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:33.159 you're praying about this. You've got a great supportive husband, 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:37.760 which is amazing. Me and Bernie are saying, don't quit. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:39.880 You don't have to be a nurse. You don't have 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.440 to take this as a career, but I think you 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:47.159 do have to finish school. What's interesting about anything like 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:51.520 this is to think how special it would be to 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.520 be a nurse and to be helping others, and to 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:58.120 be pouring into these lives and helping heal people and 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:01.520 give them, give them relief from their pain or or 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:06.080 some kind of you know, anecdote for their struggle. You 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:10.039 get that with being a nurse. Did you think it 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:13.359 was going to be easy to have that kind of responsibility? Right? 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.120 Do you think anyone could just sign up for that 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:18.640 the responsibility a nurse has, and God bless all of 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.839 y'all listening that are nurses. The responsibility that you have 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:24.919 to people in a community. Do you think that's just 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:28.240 handed out freely? Or do you think that's something that 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:32.800 you study and toil over and lose sleep over and 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:37.560 have panic attacks sometimes because it's so much on you 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.919 and in order to earn that certificate so that you 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:43.880 could pour into the community. Aren't we glad that there 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.839 is a gatekeeper for our nurses so that no one 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:51.480 could just sign up and anyone could be a nurse, right? 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:55.000 You put your life. They're sticking needles in you. Yeah, 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:56.680 and they're like, yeah, I filled out a form and 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:58.600 then they gave me this job. I would be like, well, 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:01.279 you're not touching me. Yeah. It makes you think that 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.560 everyone that sticks you with the needle. You go, was 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.279 nursing school tough? And they look at you and go, yeah, 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.039 it was really tough. It took everything I had just 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.760 to finish. In fact, I wanted to quit and then 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:16.600 we all collectively say thank you for not quitting, because 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:22.400 now you're serving the community. So Cheyenne, don't quit. Yeah, 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:26.560 not dismissing at all the difficulty and if and there's 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:28.720 also something to be you didn't say this, but like 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:32.400 if you had a relative that you know became sick 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.320 and all of a sudden, you have to like your 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:38.240 your time and attention from outside forces all of a 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:41.960 sudden was like taken somewhere, Like you need your bandwidth 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.360 to really go serve something that just happened in your 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.040 family or your community. That's a totally different thing. Then yes, 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:52.560 this is just it's harder than I thought. Not dismissing 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.560 that feeling of it being harder than you thought. But 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.040 I think, like Granger said, you gotta keep at it. 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:00.800 You're gonna you're gonna be really thinking that you did. 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.680 In the end, I think, yep, you are. Let's go 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.760 to the next question subject line, help me move on. 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.600 Hey Grangdarmin. Name is Hannah. I'm nineteen just started listening 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.880 to your podcast. I really enjoy it. Thank you for 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:17.240 the encouragement. And I recently when I was says when 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:20.680 I was around age of seven, my older brother started 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:24.400 sexually assaulting me and it lasted for four years. When 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.560 he finally confessed to my parents, I thought that I 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.560 was free and something would be done to help me 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.600 and him. My dad did nothing for years. He let 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.840 my brother live there, and after he moved out, he 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:40.360 came back home after two years, let him stay and 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.079 acted as if it was normal. I found out a 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:46.880 couple years later that shortly after confessing, my mom had 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:50.960 found out my brother in a closet. Had found my 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:55.080 brother in a closet attempting to commit suicide. My dad 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:59.160 later said that the reason for his guilt and why 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:02.080 he couldn't kick him out, that was the reason for 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:06.240 his guilt because he tried to commit suicide. You going 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.160 to say I need to forgive, and I'm going to 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.760 I just heard your latest podcast about forgiveness, and I'm 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:16.040 having trouble doing that. Thank you. My question is this 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.120 was my dad in the right to let my brother 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:24.640 live around me and not protect me or my sisters 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.640 even after he had turned eighteen. Am I in the 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:31.839 wrong for hoping that my dad would kick him out 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:36.320 and try his best to protect us there. I hope 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:39.960 you can help me. I get my comfort from the Lord, 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.920 but it still upsets and hurts me. Thanks again, Hannah, 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.040 that one took a deep, dark turn that I was 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:52.640 not expecting. We don't read these emails before, so that yeah, 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:58.160 that took a dark turn. And you're still young, Hannah nineteen, Well, 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.760 let's do a quick recap here. When you're around the 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:05.600 age of seven, your older brother started sexually assaulting you, 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:10.480 and that happened for four years. He confessed from guilt 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:14.080 to your parents. At that point, you thought, okay, good, 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.920 this is over. Something could be done to help us now, 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.839 but your dad did nothing. After the confession, your dad 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:25.280 did nothing and continue to let your brother live you 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:31.560 with you. Then fast forward a little bit of time 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:37.679 two years, your mom finds him trying to commit suicide 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:43.040 in a closet. Your dad says that right there, like 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:45.880 that attempted suicide was the reason I didn't kick him 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:49.839 out of the house because I'm adding this, because I 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:51.480 thought that would make things worse and he would go 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:55.000 commit suicide somewhere else. You say, I need to forgive, 0:10:55.360 --> 0:11:00.480 and I'm going to not yet you're implying how do 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.560 I do that? And then your question, your main question 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:08.280 is was my dad in the right to let my 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:13.040 brother live around me parentheses. I'm adding because he thought 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:17.200 he might commit suicide somewhere else and not protect me 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.920 or my sisters even after he turned eighteen. Am I 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.959 in the wrong for hoping that my dad would kick 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.800 him out and try to protect his family? All Right, 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.920 that's a lot. That's a lot to unpack. His lot, 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:32.040 not not only information, but just emotionally, it's a lot. 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:38.679 Hannah was her name, Hannah? Yeah, Hannah, so sorry to 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:43.480 hear this, Like, man, this is just heartbreaking and yeah, 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:50.360 just a reminder of how broken our world really is. Yeah, Hannah. Also, 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.800 you're not alone in this situation. It's not the first 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.160 time I've heard something like this. In fact, it's not 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:59.960 the first time I've read something like this on this podcast. 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.280 You are not alone. There are a lot of people 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:09.280 involved in situations like this. I don't want to say 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:14.080 it's common, but it's more prevalent than we could possibly 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:18.200 even imagine because most people don't say it out loud, 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.600 but they're part of this sibling, weird sexual thing that, 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:25.760 like Bernie said, because we live in a broken world, 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:30.600 that stuff does exist, and most people just suppress it 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.520 move on. They get to be adults and they just 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.080 hope that they don't think about it, but it matters 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:43.040 and it still churns inside us. So you're fresh out 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.320 of this or kind of, but I just want to 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.959 tell you, like Bernie said, first of all, I'm so sorry. 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:51.520 And second of all, you're not alone. There's people listening 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.720 right now. I promise you right now that go yep, Hannah, 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.280 that's me, or that was me thirty years ago, or 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:02.280 that's me right now. You are not alone in this. Yeah. 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:07.040 The first, before we start to attempt to answer these 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:11.920 questions of rights and wrongs, if you have not seen 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:18.120 or pursued like professional counseling and therapy, I would highly 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.560 recommend that a Christian counselor if you say that, I 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:26.440 think she said she's a belie. Lord. Okay, there's a 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:32.040 lot of trauma that you have endured, and I think 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.120 in order for you to ever get to a place 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:40.000 of forgiveness and understanding grace and understanding what happened and 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:46.840 how it affected you, this is so dark and so 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:55.720 deep that I would highly recommend licensed professional Christian counselor. 0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:00.719 Not that me and Griz aren't great, but you need 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:04.080 a pro to like help you process some of this 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.800 stuff for sure. Yep. So that being said, we'll try 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.880 to dig into it with you, and the answers to 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.560 your questions are very easy. But you already know that 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:19.480 you know that you asked us softball questions, so we'll 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:24.280 try to go beyond it. Your first question, was my 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:28.160 dad in the right to let my brother live around 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:33.320 me and not protect me or my sisters? No? No, 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:34.960 not at all. The fact that you have to ask 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:38.960 the question means that your dad didn't go above and beyond, 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.160 like I know either one of us would do to 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:45.760 make our daughters feel safe one hundred percent. Yeah. The 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:47.840 next part says, am I in the wrong for hoping 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.680 my dad would kick him out and try its best 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:56.320 to protect us. Man, That just that hurts my heart, Hannah. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:15:01.120 It hurts me because not only just for you, but 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:05.320 because I know that that's truly what you feel, and 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.040 and that so many other people deal with this kind 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:12.560 of thing, where you would think it's just common knowledge 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.360 that a daddy is going to protect his little girl. 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.960 You just think that that's, oh, that's just a thing, 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.120 like that's what daddies do. They protect a little girl 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.120 at all costs. That's what we're here for, to protect 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:29.360 our little girls. But because we live in a fallen world, 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:32.360 and because there's broken men, and because we have weak men, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:39.040 and because not everyone has the Lord, there's there's a 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:43.440 breach in that. And you are not wrong and thinking 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:47.560 that your daddy should protect you, and you're not wrong 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:49.560 in hoping that he would, and then he would kick 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.840 somebody out, including a family member, including a suicidal family member. 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.920 You would think that a dad would say, look, I 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.200 love my son, I always love my son, and then 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:02.760 he's suicidal. I don't want to lose him, but I'm 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.520 still gonna separate him from my daughters because he's sick 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:10.440 right now. Not necessarily because my son is an evil person, 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.320 but because he's actually sick and he needs help and 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:18.080 he can't be around the drug right now. He's an attic. 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.440 So I'm gonna get him out and I'm going to 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.520 live with him, or I'm gonna or his mom's going 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.760 to live with him, or his uncle's going to live 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:28.720 with them, and then I'm gonna live with my daughter. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.520 I'm gonna separate them. You would think that that's just 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:38.920 a normal thought from a man, but it's not. Yeah, instead, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:43.520 this guy says, I hope it just goes away. Yep. 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:53.960 But I do believe that in God's providence, you will 0:16:54.040 --> 0:17:02.720 be one of the most protective friends Mom's spouses because 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:08.720 this feeling of unprotection has been so exposed to you, 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.000 and I know that it's really hard, and this is 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:12.639 where you're gonna get. You're gonna have to do the 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:16.159 work to maybe get here with a counselor and unpack this, 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:18.400 to mentally really get to a place where you can 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:25.159 see that God is using this for Him to be 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:30.040 glorified some way through this broken story of yours, that 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.639 others may look at you and glorify him, be like, Wow, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:37.520 what a miracle God has done in your life, not 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:41.119 by a human hands alone, Like you have not done this. 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.520 I can tell because I hear your story, and I'm like, 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.440 there's no way somebody does and lives the way you're 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:52.879 living without the Holy Spirit and man that can be 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.639 true about your story. It really can. I think that 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:59.640 there's some work you're gonna need to do before that. 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:04.000 But I'm just thinking of that Taylor three King's book 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:06.440 that you sent me and that I read twice because 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:10.560 it was so good. It's like we sometimes we are. 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:15.600 We're just not aware of, you know, the sauls in 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:19.800 our lives and our own you know, tendency to be 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:23.959 a saul until he is put in our lives. And 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:28.000 so this, you know, she she has the choice to 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.800 be you know, her dad, or she has the choice 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.879 to be her and who God wants her to be 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:39.720 and be a protector. And yeah, move forward that way. 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:42.199 So I don't know if that's I think it's. So 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:46.240 there's a couple of things you're gonna go. You're gonna 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:49.960 seek some professional help, like Bernie said, You're gonna use this. 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:52.639 This pain is going to become a purpose for you 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.320 to become a protector, to spread the message of others 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.920 for protecting. But but I want to say something, you know, 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.840 I want to say this because in a situation that's 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:07.560 really dark, and we don't want to deny that this 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:11.119 is a dark situation for you and hurtful for you. 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.919 Things in life could always get worse, and I do 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:20.280 believe this kind of story, Hannah hear me has a 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:26.440 tendency to get worse. Here's how you're nineteen. Now you're 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:31.239 being courted by men. You have a distorted view of 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:36.240 men and what their role in a relationship should be. 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:39.920 You could see men in a light where they you're 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.000 going to look for someone that's an overprotector. You're going 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:44.960 to look in a light where you don't trust any 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:47.000 of them. You're going to look in a light that 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:51.480 maybe it's okay to be open about not trusting. But 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:55.680 either way, this story points you in a direction where 0:19:55.720 --> 0:19:59.400 you have a blurred line of what a man is 0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:04.960 in your life. Don't fall for that trap. That's so good, 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.719 that's so good. I hope you're nineteen. I'm hoping you're 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:12.280 getting this. You get this message in time. I hope 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.960 the mail gets delivered at your house in time before 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:19.320 you have this boyfriend that becomes the monster that your 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:24.399 brother or your dad was either weak or overly obsessive 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:29.600 or addictive or controlling. Either way, please get my message, Hannah. 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:36.080 If it's not too late, have discernment. In fact, be 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:39.680 single for a while. You you are someone that should 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:44.920 be single for a while. Oh for sure. There. Yeah, 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:47.280 there's a Like I said, there's a lot of work 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:53.280 to do, and I'm I'm completely confident and just sharing 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:56.280 with you guys that I'm personally work with a counselor 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:59.240 in therapy. I've been through some things in my life 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:02.440 that I need help kind of from a Christian world view, 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:07.600 like unpacking and understanding, like what was God doing in 0:21:07.640 --> 0:21:12.440 this preparing me for what is next? And maybe you're 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:15.800 listening to this and your story is not as traumatic. 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:18.840 Maybe there's some sense of abuse, maybe there's some sense 0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:24.280 of distortion of you know, male female identity, or the 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.520 role of a man and a woman in a marriage 0:21:27.560 --> 0:21:33.119 or relationship, or a father or a mother. Yeah, I 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:35.800 feel like we just need to like be okay with 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:42.840 taking a minute and thinking and maybe become a little 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:48.320 more self aware and humble enough to accept that isn't 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:50.919 something we just shake off and say, oh, you know, 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:53.679 that was not I gotta be tough. I gotta just 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.119 like move on. Okay, there's a there is a sense 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:59.800 of some things we just we have to like move 0:21:59.800 --> 0:22:05.679 forward forward. But if you're not taking the time to 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:09.440 kind of process those things, I think, like Granger said, 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:13.040 you could be just headed down a path that will 0:22:13.080 --> 0:22:16.159 become more and more destructive. And not just for Hannah, 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:20.040 but for anybody listening. Like, man, there is just life 0:22:20.119 --> 0:22:23.280 and hope out there for all of us. If we're 0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:26.200 willing to just kind of stop, have some self reflection, 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.320 let the Holy Spirit speak to us, and then be 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:33.840 willing to like maybe go into those places. Yeah, Hannah, 0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:37.800 we just yeah, our hearts are breaking for you. Yeah, 0:22:37.800 --> 0:22:41.919 and we really hope that you can get to a 0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:45.760 place of forgiveness. Yeah. Yeah, we love you and thank 0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:53.920 you for sharing. We'll be right back. Thanks for listening 0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:56.600 to the podcast. Guys, if you want to talk to me, 0:22:57.320 --> 0:22:58.720 you want to reach out to me, you want me 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:01.679 to give you a video map of me saying anything 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:06.320 to anybody. Maybe it's a happy birthday, or happy anniversary, 0:23:06.440 --> 0:23:09.600 or Merry Christmas, whatever it might be, that whatever time 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:12.280 of year it is. I could do this through cameo 0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:15.200 dot com. You just go to cameo dot com search 0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:18.560 for me Grangersmith. I think it's cameo dot com slash 0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:20.520 granger Smith texts you right to it. You could also 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:23.399 download the app, the Cameo app c A M EO 0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:26.400 and search for me Granger Smith. And I'm making any 0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:28.320 message you want. It's really cool. I sit here on 0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:31.840 my phone and turn on my camera and I'll send 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:35.520 you a message exactly like you want me to say it. 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:39.280 So you're like, hey, can you tell my wife Brenda 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:42.159 that a lover and that I'm so sorry for screwing 0:23:42.200 --> 0:23:46.320 everything up this year whatever it might be. And then 0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:48.280 I send you a message. I'm like, hey, Brenda, I 0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:50.760 just heard from Mike and I says he loves you 0:23:50.800 --> 0:23:53.840 and he's just really sorry he screwed everything up, and 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.720 I hope you get back with him or whatever it 0:23:56.800 --> 0:23:59.440 might be. You come up with the message and I'll 0:23:59.440 --> 0:24:07.160 say it for you. Cameo dot com slash Granger. All right, 0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:08.800 back to the podcast. If you have a question for 0:24:08.920 --> 0:24:12.160 me or Bernie, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. 0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:14.199 We're gonna just talk through it like we're in the 0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:18.359 cab of a truck or sitting around a campfire. This one. 0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:22.160 I'm just going through these. I have no They're totally random. Okay, 0:24:22.359 --> 0:24:24.840 no subject. It says, Hey Granger, please keep me anonymous. 0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:29.040 I'm twenty years old. I have grown to hate my job. 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:32.399 I've been on the hunt for a new job for 0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:35.480 right around a year. I know what I would like 0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:37.600 to do for a career, and it's one that my 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:40.800 dad and uncle is involved in. They have all the 0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:43.800 connections to get me a job, but they won't help 0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:46.680 me anytime I bring it up to either one of them. 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:49.680 I'm just ignored. I've been trying to reach out to 0:24:49.760 --> 0:24:53.200 different places and put out my application at a dozen 0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:57.000 places with no response. Should I keep trying by myself 0:24:57.280 --> 0:24:58.880