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Speaker 1: I wanted to bring this up because my mom listens

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Speaker 1: to the show every day, and like, I wish I

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Speaker 1: could see the look on my parents' face when I

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Speaker 1: do this story. I wish I could, and I want

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Speaker 1: your genuine reaction, especially if your I don't know, twenties, thirties, forties,

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Speaker 1: You grew up with siblings.

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Speaker 2: I know Caitlin did. Caitlyn.

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Speaker 1: You practically were a second mom because of the age

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Speaker 1: difference twelve years thirteen years difference between you and Bella,

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Speaker 1: your sister.

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Speaker 2: She's younger.

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Speaker 1: A TikToker known as Shira is making waves with her

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Speaker 1: bold stance. Why do I believe that she might be

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Speaker 1: in her early twenties. I've never seen this woman. I

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Speaker 1: hate to say this, this is a generational take, but

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Speaker 1: parents are going to shiver or older siblings her bold stance.

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Speaker 1: Parents shouldn't make their kids babysit younger siblings without consent

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Speaker 1: and compensation. Yeah, I mean, you were a big sister too.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine, Pauline, if Mama Marta had been like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm heading out tonight with my.

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Speaker 2: Cigarettes and Virginia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah Salem, so I was gonna say Virginia slims, but

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Speaker 1: Salem Flim going out with the girls tonight. You gotta

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Speaker 1: watch your sister. And you were like, First of all,

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Speaker 1: I didn't consent to that. Second and second of all,

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Speaker 1: what will my compensation package looks like? Can you imagine now?

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Speaker 1: Look like my My parents.

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Speaker 2: Were very smart. My parents were very smart.

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Speaker 1: I have my sister seven and a half years younger,

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Speaker 1: and they were not They were no dummy. You know.

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Speaker 1: On my birthday they were were extremely generous. They gave

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Speaker 1: me a brand new car. On my birthday. They gave

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Speaker 1: me a brand new car. Was so I couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 1: Like I was convinced that I wasn't getting a car.

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Speaker 1: I was convinced that their deal was, you got two

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Speaker 1: years to make money in the summer and whatever amount

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Speaker 1: of money you can make, we'll we'll match that and

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Speaker 1: you can buy a car with it. Well, I didn't

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Speaker 1: make it. I didn't make that much money, so I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have been I didn't think I was getting a car.

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Speaker 2: I got a car.

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Speaker 1: Boom Immediately, here are the keys. Oh my god, yay, congratulations,

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Speaker 1: take your sister to dance, Go get me some at

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Speaker 1: the store. Hey, go go pick up so and so

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Speaker 1: and so and so at the airport, Hey, you do

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Speaker 1: very smart. It was what an investment in the quality

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Speaker 1: of life of their own quality of life? Yeah, extremely generous.

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Speaker 1: I'm extremely grateful. I will do the exact same thing

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Speaker 1: if I ever have a kid. It'll be like, oh sweet,

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Speaker 1: and this is before uber and every Hey, go pick

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Speaker 1: up the Chinese food or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And for a little while you're like, oh, I get

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Speaker 2: to drive, Like I get to drive.

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Speaker 1: And after a while you're like, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: go to dance practice again. But if I had told

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Speaker 1: my parents, like, what's in it for me? You know, well,

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Speaker 1: what are you to pay me for that? We'll be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. How about the air you're breathing? How

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Speaker 1: about you know what you're wearing right now? How about

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Speaker 1: that car? How about the how about how about you know, eating, sustenance, education,

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Speaker 1: how about love? Can you imagine, Caitlin, if you had

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Speaker 1: been like, well, you know, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: First of all, I didn't agree to that, And.

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Speaker 1: Second, oh my god, can you imagine telling your parents

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Speaker 1: I don't consent.

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Speaker 3: To that absolutely, And I had enough forethought to go like,

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Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, sometimes it was frustrating because I was

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Speaker 3: like fully, like we had like a drop off pickup schedule.

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Speaker 3: I was getting her from school, like I always had

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Speaker 3: a car seat in my backseat.

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Speaker 4: I looked like a teen mom in high school.

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Speaker 3: But I just I had enough forthought to go okay,

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Speaker 3: Like my parents have given me so much, Like the

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Speaker 3: least I can do is like help them out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 1: I know that as a kid, I was not grateful

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Speaker 1: enough because I didn't have an I didn't have the

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Speaker 1: perspective to realize like how hard it was for them

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Speaker 1: to provide the things they did. And I also was

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Speaker 1: around kids who had as much or more than me,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't I had no example of how it

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Speaker 1: could look and in retrospect, like, I'm just so grateful

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Speaker 1: for all the things that they did.

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Speaker 2: But I, even then.

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Speaker 1: Even as a little snap nosed, little entitled kid, I

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Speaker 1: knew better than to ask my parents to compensate me.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you told her, like, here's your

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Speaker 1: your older sister takes you in when your mom passes away,

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Speaker 1: and then and then she's already got kids, and there

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Speaker 1: are always kids, and so can you imagine if Helena

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Speaker 1: had been like, hey, I need you to do this

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Speaker 1: Makitha and you're like, well, well right.

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Speaker 5: No, I would never do that for Helena.

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Speaker 6: But I because I had a friend who was really

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Speaker 6: like a second mom to all of her siblings, and

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Speaker 6: like we would have parties to go to the skating

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Speaker 6: rink and I would be like, are you on duty tonight?

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Speaker 5: Like can you come out? You know, like I got

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Speaker 5: to watch the kids.

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Speaker 6: And I'm like, your mom had all those kids, that's

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Speaker 6: not your responsibility. So some parents, they really do put

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Speaker 6: a lot of responsibility on the oldest.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, the oldest sibling, y'all are the strongest soldiers for real.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: No, it's I say, it's like you need to be

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Speaker 4: an oldest sibling.

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Speaker 3: I think in a lot of ways, but it's we

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Speaker 3: don't choose it, and that's okay, you know, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: some parents do take advantage of it. I mean we

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Speaker 3: had bell I would throw parties in the basement and

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Speaker 3: Bella would be down there with her bottle getting passed

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Speaker 3: around by like's just you know, I mean, that's what

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Speaker 3: we would do.

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Speaker 6: We would just go to my friend's house and babysit

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Speaker 6: at her house.

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Speaker 5: We would all hang out.

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Speaker 6: But you know, I'm here.

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Speaker 1: If you're treating the oldest sibling like a nanny, that's

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Speaker 1: one thing. But if you're just being asked to help

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Speaker 1: out around the house because that's what family does, and

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Speaker 1: you're over here going mmm yeah. In her viral video,

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Speaker 1: she emphasizes that children are not free labor and should

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Speaker 1: not be assigned adult responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, or babysitting

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Speaker 1: without agreement.

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Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Where are you going to live? Like?

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Speaker 1: What are you how exactly are you expected to survive?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Your parents are also not I mean, while I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of parents probably feel like it, they're not

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Speaker 1: like your servants, right, Like you still have to be

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Speaker 1: a functioning member of a family, of a unit, like

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Speaker 1: if your parents expect you to keep your stuff in

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Speaker 1: order or they you know. I remember my parents used

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Speaker 1: to be like, your only job is to go to

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Speaker 1: school and get good grades. That's the only thing you

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Speaker 1: have to do. I can do it, man, right, Like

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Speaker 1: that's it. And I remember the time I thought it

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Speaker 1: was such a such an undertaking. My dad used to

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Speaker 1: say to me almost every night, Man, what I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: give to go back to school?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And I'm like, yeah, you and your stupid line

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Speaker 2: that's dumb, that's dumb. I want out of here, I

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Speaker 2: want out of this prison.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, what I wouldn't give to go

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Speaker 1: back to school and learn more stuff.

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Speaker 4: Seriously, the freedom, honey.

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Speaker 1: I think the difference is I would I would choose

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to learn and it would be on

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Speaker 1: my terms as opposed to what they make you learn

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Speaker 1: and at the time. But again, you know, youth is

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Speaker 1: wasted on a young perspective. But my god, if I'd say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, okay, well, then the dinner

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Speaker 1: will be seventeen dollars, then I mean because they slip

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Speaker 1: it on you too. That's true, Yes, they chose to

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Speaker 1: have you, But I don't think that means that you

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Speaker 1: don't have any obligation to be a part of a unit,

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Speaker 1: right right.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, don't take advantage.

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Speaker 7: No, my mom would send me back to Poland, like

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Speaker 7: with a one weight ticket back, like I'm from there,

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Speaker 7: but she would send me there live my grandma. She's

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Speaker 7: threatened me before when I was a kid, many of times,

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Speaker 7: like when I didn't want to help out around the

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Speaker 7: house or with my sibling or whatever. Like we're four

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Speaker 7: years apart, not that much of a difference, but I

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Speaker 7: was older.

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Speaker 1: You would have to build that house that you were farm.

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Speaker 7: Literally, my mom came from a farm with nothing, crap

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Speaker 7: in a hole like she did, like I.

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Speaker 2: Need milk for my cereal, Well, then go milk.

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Speaker 7: It every morning, Yes exactly. She climb mountains to get

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Speaker 7: to school. I heard all about it both ways uphill,

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Speaker 7: which was crazy. I had no idea that geography in

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Speaker 7: Poland was that way. Everything is uphill all the.

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Speaker 2: Time, all the time. Walk.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my god, I.

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Speaker 1: Just cannot imagine. I cannot imagine responding like that. My

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Speaker 1: dad would, my my mom really would have whooped me.

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Speaker 3: Where do they think this like code of conduct that

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Speaker 3: they're like aligning two comes from? Because you're you're under

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Speaker 3: your parents house, your parents rule. Like, where do you

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Speaker 3: think your rights are coming from? You have no rights?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know your child. Of course.

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Speaker 1: Huge discussions now on her post about the balance between

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Speaker 1: family responsibilities and children's rights. Some argue that helping out

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Speaker 1: is it part of growing up. Others believe that imposing

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Speaker 1: such duties without consent can lead to resentment and hinder

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Speaker 1: personal development. In some ways, I think it developed me,

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Speaker 1: you know, and there was even stuff that they would

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Speaker 1: they would have me do and pay me for that

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Speaker 1: I probably should have just done. But I also had

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Speaker 1: no means of making money. And I think you know,

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Speaker 1: before a certain age when you can't get a job.

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Speaker 1: The very day I could get a job, I got

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Speaker 1: a job. But I feel like, you know, mowing the

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Speaker 1: lawn and they give me, which they claim I never did.

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Speaker 2: It's outrageous.

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Speaker 1: They argue up and down, you never ever did that,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, no, I did that for years.

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Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I'm like, where do you think I

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Speaker 1: made that up? Like I remember the hiking boots I

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Speaker 1: wore to mow the law and I remember I remember,

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Speaker 1: you know, if the sprinkrs had gone off, I couldn't anyway,

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Speaker 1: don't get me started on this trauma.

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Speaker 3: Parents don't like if you say anything happened other than

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Speaker 3: like amazing, noess, They're like, no, that is so like that.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even mad about it. I'm not y.

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Speaker 1: I tell the joke all the time that now that

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Speaker 1: I have grown up money, I want to buy a

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Speaker 1: riding lawn mower because they wouldn't let me have one,

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Speaker 1: and I want to just ride it around my parking

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Speaker 1: garriage because I can have it if I want it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: big album Home Depot will hook me up with a discount.

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Speaker 1: Even it's amazing, But my mom calls me, you never

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Speaker 1: mowed the lawn, like what are you talking about? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: But they would pay me, like I think whatever. They'd

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Speaker 1: pay me twenty dollars to do that. And the reason

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Speaker 1: they would I probably shouldn't have. They probably shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: paid me twenty dollars. They probably should have done it

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Speaker 1: because well, thanks for the you know, education and food

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Speaker 1: and you know everything else. But but I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're thirteen years old, you want basketball cards all

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Speaker 1: the time. It's like, all right, we'll go do something

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Speaker 1: and we'll give you the money, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: think it was like teaching you about work and being

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Speaker 1: paid and saving you can you know, do you eat

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Speaker 1: you know by this much now or that much later

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Speaker 1: or whatever. But even that, they didn't have to do

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Speaker 1: that if they didn't want to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they talk better than they cite. Tell me. These

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Speaker 2: are the radio blogs on the Fresh Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, it's like we're writing in our diaries, except

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Speaker 1: we say them aloud. We call them blogs. I haven't

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Speaker 1: done it in a while, So I'm gonna do a blog,

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Speaker 1: dear blog. I have these neighbors, very very nice people,

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Speaker 1: then down the hall from me. They're around my age.

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Speaker 1: I think we're at the same age, really same birth year.

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Speaker 1: Why do I know this because well, because I have

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Speaker 1: all their passport info.

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Speaker 2: Why do I have that?

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Speaker 1: Because we're going on a trip, the three of us

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Speaker 1: together tomorrow and Sunday.

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Speaker 2: We're going back.

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Speaker 1: We're going back to the six We're going to Toronto.

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Speaker 1: So I meet this guy in the hallway a couple

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Speaker 1: of years ago because I know I know what.

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Speaker 2: I already know what you're thinking.

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Speaker 1: You have looks at your faces like there's something nefarious

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Speaker 1: going on. There's a spirit in your eye like I'm

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Speaker 1: being included as a third That's what.

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Speaker 2: That's what. That's what I can read. I can see.

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Speaker 2: I know you guys so well. I don't even we don't.

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Speaker 1: We can sit here and telepathically do this show, and

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Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking.

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Speaker 4: That thing we were talking about off their Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well might be first time so married, couple, very nice people.

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Speaker 1: I meet this guy a few years ago. They moved

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Speaker 1: in and he's walking down the hall with a bunch

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Speaker 1: of like, uh, pilot books, you learning how to fly? Oh,

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Speaker 1: and so I was like, hey, so we start talking

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Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm becoming a pilot. So we became friends

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Speaker 1: this way, and every now and again we go places.

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Speaker 2: Well I shouldn't even say that. I think we've gone

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Speaker 2: like two places.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, I am the third wheel on this trip,

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Speaker 1: right because he's a pilot and he has a plane.

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Speaker 1: I got a little Putt putt plane, and we'd like

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Speaker 1: to go places and whatever.

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Speaker 2: But it's a little strange.

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Speaker 1: I keep having to tell them, like if you guys

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Speaker 1: want to go off and do whatever you want to do,

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Speaker 1: like as I don't need to third wheel this whole

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours, right, like we're friends and whatever. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know if maybe they're hoping, like you can

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Speaker 1: the dude just bring somebody to make it even, you know,

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Speaker 1: But I'm not just gonna bring somebody. When you're not

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Speaker 1: seeing anyone and there's really no one on the horizon,

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Speaker 1: you don't really ask someone to leave the country with you,

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Speaker 1: like I'm not gonna. I mean, what would be a

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Speaker 1: worse impression on my friends if I get on a

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Speaker 1: dating app and go, hey, you want to go to

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Speaker 1: Canada this weekend. Like, probably not a great idea. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's where things go awry, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I'm with a stranger in a hotel room in a

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Speaker 1: foreign country, and what if we don't get along or something.

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Speaker 1: So I just I just do my thing and go

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Speaker 1: along with them. But I will be honest, it's a

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Speaker 1: little strange for me. I feel like I'm intruding on

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Speaker 1: their thing. I don't think they see it that way.

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Speaker 1: I don't, but this has been the story of my

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Speaker 1: life is I'm always the third wheel because most of

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Speaker 1: my friends are married and I'm not, and I don't

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Speaker 1: typically bring people around my friends or family unless it's

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Speaker 1: really serious that it very rarely is, which means I'm

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Speaker 1: always the third wheel.

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Speaker 2: They're together all the time. I mean, you know this.

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Speaker 1: I've crashed my parents Valentine's dinners, I've crashed birthdays, I've

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Speaker 1: all kinds of things with my parents, and they're like, look,

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Speaker 1: for thirty some years, we've been together every day all

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Speaker 1: the time. You can come to this. I'm sure they

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Speaker 1: feel the same way. They don't see it as weird

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Speaker 1: as I do, but I think it's weird.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 1: You guys think it's a swinging situation, and it's not okay,

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Speaker 1: it's not they've never made any pass at me whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: But what a perfect opportunity in another country? What does

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Speaker 2: that have to do it? It's going to be romantic.

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Speaker 1: I can see the United States in Toronto. It's not

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Speaker 1: even that exotic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah they are. They are lovely people and it's not

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 5: They're not your type.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that because.

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Speaker 1: Because if they if they hear this, they're gonna wind

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Speaker 1: up feeling rejected without ever you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: want They don't right, they want nothing to do with

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Speaker 1: me sexually. Hey guys, sorry, but then what do you

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Speaker 1: say to that?

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Speaker 2: I'd be very What do you say now? Would you

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Speaker 2: you're open to it?

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Speaker 1: If I If I say no, that I'm saying I

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Speaker 1: don't find my friends attracted. If I say yes, it's

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Speaker 1: like this guy's predator. He's taking us to Canada.

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Speaker 4: What I'm hearing is there's a chance it would be

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Speaker 4: if they wanted it.

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Speaker 2: Don't put me in this position. They're lovely people.

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Speaker 1: I don't think they have any interest in that, and

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Speaker 1: I don't have any interest and that it would certainly

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Speaker 1: make the neighborhood pot look a little weird. But I

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Speaker 1: keep saying to them, I'm like, guys, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's they like the flying stuff.

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Speaker 2: I like the flying stuff.

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Speaker 1: They're they're relatively new, you know, because I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: he's really into it, so she's into it with him,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So like they're always going places,

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Speaker 1: They're always you know, it's like, you know, this is,

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Speaker 1: like I said, the ability to like jump in the

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Speaker 1: thing and go to wherever in the whoerever Traverse City

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Speaker 1: or Detroit or Milwaukee or Raleigh or wherever the hell

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Speaker 1: you want to you know, the West Pombie, wherever you

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Speaker 1: want to go. Is it kind of a new freedom thing.

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Speaker 1: So they're into it. So then it's like, well let's

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Speaker 1: do this and there. So it's we have this like camaraderie.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a bonding moment. Are you taking sexy underwear?

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Speaker 6: Then you usually pack the first of my fully man

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Speaker 6: skipped at all times. You never know, you just never

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Speaker 6: right in the Moment's right, Okay, I'm not going to

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Speaker 6: get caught up guard.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you that right now. Okay.

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Speaker 4: I love being the third wheel though in all seriousness, like.

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Speaker 1: I love these people, just it's my trip and they

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Speaker 1: just uninvited me. They're at home right now. Going this

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Speaker 1: guy is such a more I don't like being. I

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Speaker 1: like it third wheel syndrome. It is an insecurity, if

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Speaker 1: you want to call it, that, that I have had

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Speaker 1: for a very long time now because there are no

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Speaker 1: longer in my in my realm, there are no longer

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Speaker 1: single people like I no longer have the single buddy

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Speaker 1: I can call and say, hey, come along, because it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: let me get this cleared, and we got soccer practice

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Speaker 1: and t ball and I don't know, maybe next month

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Speaker 1: or in six months we can do it or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And then I don't have I'm not seeing anyone with

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Speaker 1: the regularity that it's like, come to come with us.

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Speaker 1: And so rather than just bring somebody and make it

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Speaker 1: awkward for them, I just don't.

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Speaker 2: I typically just go. I show it by myself.

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Speaker 6: As a single person. I've learned that the couples don't care. No, seriously,

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Speaker 6: they do not care.

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Speaker 2: They want it.

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Speaker 6: I used to be on their dates and everything, we'd

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Speaker 6: be at the movie theaters. I'm in between them. Sure,

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Speaker 6: they do not care.

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Speaker 2: Because they spend all this time.

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Speaker 3: Together Yeah, you're putting it on yourself. And I get

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Speaker 3: like why you might feel that way, but like believe

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Speaker 3: when I say, like, a couple will tell you if

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Speaker 3: they want to be alone, and they will make that time.

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Speaker 1: And they're well aware what this is, you know, so

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Speaker 1: like they could just say no.

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Speaker 6: Right and stop you keep showing them your sexy underwear, right,

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Speaker 6: and they might.

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Speaker 5: Carry you off.

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Speaker 7: You guys getting one hotel room or two?

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Speaker 1: It's a connecting room, Okay, case of emergency. Now we're

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Speaker 1: saying it. Actually, what's funny is now we're saying two

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Speaker 1: separate the text they just texted me, can you would

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Speaker 1: you mind saying it? They hilt me down the road.

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Speaker 1: This complete and total separation. Wow, this is I sure

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Speaker 1: hope they're asleep,